The Morning Stream - TMS 2996: Garden package toss

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

Raspberry Beret Starfish Jam. Throwing meat at dogs. Pulsating beauty filter. World War chimpanZee. Earthworms Smell Like Earth. The HhhhWIG party. Infinite Stuf. Hop into the Hooey. I Don't Like ONE MILLION Beeeeeeeeeeees! Paycock. Bat Dance Neutral. Clifford the Big Red Muppet. Weird! Shit in his Lunchbox. Sugar and Lard with Amy. Rope barking and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a virtuous thing to help the nice neighbor lady take her trash to the curb. It's a virtuous thing to grow your own vegetables. And it is a virtuous thing to help out your favorite morning show podcast at patreon.com slash TMS. Coming up on the morning stream, Raspberry Beret Starfish Jam. Throwing meat at dogs. Pulsating beauty filter. World War chimpanzee.

Earthworms smell like Earth. The Whig Party. Infinite stuff. Hop on to the hooey. I don't like one million. Bees. Haycock. Bet Dan's neutral.

Clifford, the big red Muppet. Weird shit in his lunchbox. Sugar and Lard with Amy. Rope, barking, and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. For four years, scientists have tracked plowy as she made her way from Banff National Park in Alberta, up and down the Rockies.

In that time, she's made three round trips between Canada and Wyoming, covering 40,000 square miles. We think you'll admit it was pretty impressive performance for plowy. Well, you can put this in your file and smoke it. The Morning Stream. Don't F*** with a babysitter. Hello, everybody. Welcome to TMS. This is the morning stream for Tuesday, April 21st, 2026. I am Scott Johnson. That is Brian Ibbett. Good day. Good day to you, sir.

Sounds like you're also doing a West Wing rewatch, because you mentioned Barley. President Bartlett a couple days ago and played that clip. When you told me you and Tina were going to finally get in there and go for it, I went, ooh, you know what I'm in the mood for. So yeah, I am. I'm probably, I don't know, it's a little background. Do you watch you for me? Because I've seen the show like seven times.

Sure. But I'm watching it. I think I'm probably five or six episodes into season one again, something like that. Man, Elizabeth, what's her name? Elizabeth Moss? She's so young. Yeah, I know. Like a teenager.

It's so weird. It's crazy. You kind of want to jump to the screen and go, stay away from Scientology or something like that. But we don't have that option. No, I don't have that. Yeah, can't do it. Yeah. The show is so good, though.

Gosh, it is good. It is really good. I'd kill for an administration like that. Oh, my God. Right? Don't care what party. I mean, don't care. A competent, intelligent press, you know, the CJ, the,

the press secretary secretary yeah my gosh you know she's amazing yeah she's so good all these people freaking he's really really richard shift is toby is one of my favorite characters of all time yeah this is a sheepish little nebish little guy who's always getting always feeling a little sad i love him interesting how we're watching kind of the the um smoothing the edges though of moira Kelly who shows up as like, ah, see, I'm going to be done. And I'm going to be done. And I'm going to be there.

And we're in about episode 15 or 16 of the first season. She's definitely mellowed out. And she's like, you know, like. Way more chill. Which is good. Well, I don't want to spoil anything.

But anyway, you'll see. Great. All right. Thanks. It's a long running series. And there's, you know, stuff happens. Of course. Yeah.

Sure. That's great, though. I love this. I love it. I love it when Admiral Adama got the nomination for, um, yeah, for,

uh, Supreme court justice. Yeah. That was great. Yeah. Got to get Mendoza in a positive way, you know. Right.

Anyway, that show rules. It's on Netflix right now. Get it while you can. Offerman, who we just heard in your clip. Yeah. And he was like a total hippie lefty,

uh, in that because he was like all like, right. We got to save whatever's. And they were trying to convince CJ that, that they had to spend what, 400 million dollars on a, Wolf Highway that was like exclusive for the wolves.

Right. Yes. Such a different role for him. It was great. We just got Georgia Fox being added to the cast, fresh off her, her CSI run. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I like her. I forgot she joins. That's funny. Seeing the thing seven times, you'd think I'd remember everybody. But the problem is, it's a lot. There's a cat of people. Yeah, absolutely. They had one, the guy that retired from the Supreme Court that they were placing him with Mendoza,

was the guy that did the smuckers jelly. Goodbye. Oh, really? Smuckers. When you know your mom wants you to eat smucker, whatever the hell of catchphrase. So it's like just the cavalcade of like old voices, new voices. You haven't even gotten the John Goodman season.

I don't remember what that is. It's amazing. Oh, he's so good. Big blustery Republican guy. He's awesome. Anyway, I'm not saying, look, I'm not so naive to say that we ever had a Bartlett-like administration. I'm just saying it would be sure nice if we did.

A combination of strength, empathy, compromise, frustration, but it's worth it, you know? And just flat out admitting when you make a mistake. Yeah. I know I thought that was a doctor. When I looked at that picture, I thought it was a doctor. Didn't realize it was Jesus. Did you hear about the, I know we avoid the T word like the plague, but I don't know if you heard. that his people, because they said this in a press thing,

the press secretary said it, after he did his whole, I thought I was playing a doctor, healing the people. And she goes, she basically said it was a doctored photo. So what it turned out to be by inference is that he was told by his people, say it's doctored.

He got it confused and said, I'm a doctor. I love that. I love it. I do too. That's my favorite thing I heard all week. That's, I mean, I think somebody pointed out that when he kept calling the, the Iraq thing, an excursion, it's because he misheard incursion.

And he just decided to call an excursion. We're just visiting. We're just going there for a couple days. Yeah. Check out the little excursion. A little excursion. Honestly, I really do think it's like that. I really think it's like that.

But to go, it's kind of, it makes watching the West Wing not frustrating, but it, it's this like, don't we want the smartest people possible in the room? Absolutely. And I'm not, party politics of rectus has turned us into a, it's all sports betting at this point. It really is. It really has ruined us. We've forgotten why it would be more important to look for personal, individual character and forget about which team you're on. on, eff it. Who cares? Right, right. Don't we all just want smart people?

It doesn't matter what side, what party. We just want smart people in there. Yeah, the fact that we only have two is probably our problem. But there are people, there are political people who would argue, no, that's the backbone of a good democracy is the limit of two, really basically a two-party system with weird, independent ones that kind of float around it. But really, it's just the two. And they'll argue that that's somehow good and healthy. I don't think so. I think we need like five, six.

I want a party called. I want the, let's come up with a party, Brian. What party should be? The, it has to be something that doesn't sound like, you know, like one of the,

the firework brands that you get for Fourth of July. So it can't be like the Patriot Party, the America party. You know, it's got to be like the, the, the, the,

bring back the wig party. The wig is sure. The wig. That was never going to work when it rhymed, or it was the exact same pronunciation as the freaking thing you wear in your head. You know what I mean? Like, why do they do that? That was so, no wonder your party didn't last third party. Exactly.

It's like, wait, is he wearing a wig? No, he's a wig. Wait, well, he's a wig? You wear him on your head? No, no, no, no, no, he's a wig. Terrible, terrible. Terrible decision. I know what they were thinking.

The, uh, oh, I like the tadpool party. Yeah. But the, how about we use something that has been used for the things and just call him the animaniacs? I'm voting animaic. I do that. I do that. Hell yeah. Oh my gosh.

Let's go. 2028, here we come. The year of the animaniacs. Yes, let's do it. Guys, we got some stuff going on. I had a weird experience with FedEx. I don't know if this is a universal experience with FedEx lately or if it's just me. And if it's just me, I'll admit it.

It's fine. But I feel like FedEx has gone to the dogs. They are bad at delivering things. A, either on time or B, where you tell them to go. Oh, sure. And I don't know why, what happened there, but it just seems like they have lost their way, whereas UPS and others,

it just are showing up right where I tell them, and it's fine, and they're not going to the back alley, they come around the front, they do all the things. We've been gone to the FedEx site. You can put in unique preferences. We shouldn't need to, because it seems obvious to me where the front of the house is.

Yeah, exactly. So you tell them that. We've done it. It doesn't matter. These guys, so there's this, there's this medication that, I get that needs to stay cold. And for it to arrive and stay cold, you have to deliver it and then I have to immediately

get it to the fridge because the packets with is not going to last very long. Sure. So it's very important that that stuff's A on time and B, not put in the sun where I can get it or something so that I can do it. So they say, they say, oh, it'll be here at this time. that time comes and goes. I'm checking the cameras. I'm checking the front door. Nothing. And I check the site.

It was delivered. I'm like, all right, where's the picture? I look at the picture. It's my freaking, what used to be a Tesla guy. It's a picture of his back door that's not even, it's also, it's like behind us and then, it's not even close to us. Oh, geez. Seriously, like it's a whole different house and it's. So annoyed. So I go over there, I run over there.

and I get it and it's still, thankfully, we got it when it was still cold. It was actually kind of cold that day because we had that weird storm came through. And everything worked out. But it's just FedEx. What are you doing?

You used to be the standard, like the high. It was expensive. You paid more for it. But FedEx was the standard, man. You're the one that sent Tom Hanks to an island where he had to eat coconut and raw crab, you know? And he left that one box and didn't open it, which actually contained a side.

satellite phone, unfortunately. But unfortunately, you know, if we, if he only would have known then. Yeah. A fully charged satellite phone. The fully charged satellite phone. Like five flares. Exactly. A bunch of food.

Full dental equipment. He could have deadened his tooth and pulled it out like a real dentist. Oh man. What a bummer. It's funny you say this because a couple days ago, Tina got a little mouth guard, a little tooth thing that puts her John a place where she might not snore. And we were trying to figure out who delivered it, because we weren't sure if it was UPS or USPS or whoever.

But whoever delivered it, threw it in the garden. Shit. She would not have, this yesterday. She would not have found it if she hadn't been out there, like watering her peonies yesterday afternoon when she got done with work. That she, like, kind of stumbled on her package there. It's like, oh, my God, you know, this was just tossed in the garden. You have, you don't have footage of this from the,

camera or anything? Oh, I probably could. I could probably look at the, I wasn't even thinking about the ring doorbell because she was looking in her email to see, to find out actually who shipped it. But yeah, I guess I have 24 hours, so I need to look that business up and find the video of them tossing it in the garden. I'd be really curious who did it or why they would do such a thing. It's freaking terrible. I'm sure it's like lazy, oh, I'll just go to the sidewalk and kind of toss it up there from here kind of thing. I mean, the worst one I ever saw was the guy, did we watch, I think we watched it here on the show where the guy backed over the package after he set it by the car. He pulls out in the big UPS fan and just grinds over the top of it.

It just grinds right on top of it. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm not saying, look, I understand this feels like a first world problem, but they're paid to do this. This is not volunteer work. No. This is, you know. It's a job.

Yeah. Do the job. And I feel like there's so many people who are like, yeah, I'll take a delivery job. I mean, I get those Amazon flex things all the time. I signed up for it. I'm approved, but I don't know why I haven't, you know,

I need to just bite the bullet. But it means, I think it means getting there at 5.30, it would basically be, I get up, I go and do the Amazon Flex delivery, first thing in the morning, come home,

do daily music headlines and TMS. That'd be a lot in the morning. It's a lot in the morning, yeah. Is it, um, five, get rid of 530, geez,

530, yeah. Holy shit. I mean, they probably, they do have afternoon. delivery times as well, but I'll bet those get snatched up immediately. Do they pay a lot, do you know, or pay well?

They pay about, it's about, you know, like three hours of work, maybe $75 to $100. $25 an hour, okay. It's not bad. No, it's not bad at all. If you don't mind the $5.30 shit, geez. Exactly. And you can listen to your music. You don't have to worry about people in your car that stink it up, make it smell

like pot, whatever. True. Yeah, it's all done on an app. You just have to worry about dogs. because you've got to deal with people who left there. They're angry. They're very angry dog in the front yard and you've got to get the package. Yeah, I can see that.

That's when you huck the package to the porch. Oh, yeah, right. If there's a dog out there growling at you. I would probably, how do you handle that? I think I'd feel okay about tossing a package of a giant bloodthirsty dog. Yeah, I probably wouldn't toss it. I would leave it inside, like basically put it inside the fence. Yeah.

is what uh let's say there's you get there there's no fence the dog's out it's a really angry rottweiler looking dog it's foaming at the mouth not on chain and if you get out of your car you're gonna be eaten alive yeah i think then i would probably lob it out there yeah i'd take a picture and then i would in my notes put i didn't want to die today so i put your package in the front yard is what i would say i'd do that let you do that, I'd do that. Yeah. That's how we do that.

They'd probably probably be okay with that. You need to just keep some, just some hamburger meat or steak or something and do that. Yeah, do with the dogs. In the car, toss it. Like they do on every, every sitcom, like, you know, oh, got to throw something to distract the dog. And then I can walk in there and do whatever I want. Yeah, every good cartoon knows that you throw meat at a dog. That's all you need.

Speaking of throwing meat at people, there's a lot of catfishing online. A lot of people want you to think they're hot or good looking or, you know, whatever. Young hot girls dance around. Deliver it to you. Yep. Here we go. Check out your Instagram. Isn't she pretty kind of stuff, right? Sure. Yeah. Well, I found something awesome. Oh. See this young lady here. This is a Chinese influencer streamer lady.

Everyone thinks this is what she looks like. But she's using a filter. Now, not just any filter. Like right now, if I fire up TikTok and take a video of myself, it employs a basic filter that just sort of says. smooths things probably. Yeah, things like that. I think by default, I assume so, because I don't look, I look back at my video and I go, I'm a little readier than that. But anyway, this is hilarious because this Chinese influencer lady has tons of followers. And according to this, her beauty filter crashed.

And as a result, she lost 140,000 subscribers in a minute. Now I have video of it freaking out. And you're going to laugh. So let me pull this over here. All right. Here we go. Now watch this. And she's probably a lovely person in real life, but because of this juxtaposition of the...

It's like she's going from being a human to a cartoon character. It's pretty a small. Her head, like it's like her head gets one third the size of her actual head. Yeah. It shrinks. But the rest of her body stays exactly the same. That's really, really fun. It made me laugh.

Can you imagine losing 140? I mean, she had millions of followers, but 140,000 subscribers in a minute. Well, they're all epileptics. Yeah. Yeah, plus the dude. Oh, yeah, I get it. They're like, oh, oh, ha, up, up.

Yeah, I don't know. I think it's, there's a lesson in this somewhere. I don't know what it is. Yeah. But we're also full of shit. Yeah, exactly. The greater we, not Brian and I. We're looking, you guys see what you see here today?

This is us, man. This is us. This is us. And we're fine with that. And if people, you know, if somebody says, I feel better, I feel better about myself. I use a filter. You know what, use a filter. It's fine.

Use a filter. It's fine. Just to make sure it works is the problem. Don't have the filter, you know, causing seizures in people as they're watching your stream. And I do love that she didn't know. Right. She's just dancing around. Who knows how long that.

Meanwhile, she's like the Wang Chung video for everybody have fun tonight, and she doesn't even realize it. Some of them, too, I read somewhere that a lot of these are dudes, and some of these filters are so sophisticated that they will just, they'll make you into what looks like a 18-year-old hottie. And really, you're just a dude. Yeah. Like some 40-year-old dude. That's really funny. Yeah. That's funny.

Do they do the, does the voice change, too? Oh, good question. I don't know how they handle that. Hi, my name is Melissa. Hello. Oh, shit. My voice filter. Melissa. That's good stuff. All right, Brian, we got one more thing before our news today.

Yeah, this is so cool. Jay Funktastic wrote me and let me know that he is going to be performing for the Covey Awards, the Observer Covey Awards. Let me pull up the information here. So he's going to be doing a, he's part of a three doors down tribute for the Covey Awards at the Hard Rock Live tonight in Bluxie. They're going to live stream it on Facebook. So if you go to, what is it, the observer? What's the, um, it's a Facebook account.

Coast Observer. There you go. Yeah. Oh, it looks like they actually got the name. So Facebook.com slash coast observer. Oh, perfect. Excellent. So they're going to be streaming it and he's going to be performing.

is it a whole jays in the chat room is it a whole like three doors down tribute multiple bands doing it or is just your band doing three doors down covers and and is three doors down where are they from buloxi what's oh i don't know what their status is their connection this is about 30 minutes from my wife's where my wife grew up oh that's cool and back when i was hanging around buloxi for a bunch of time back in the 90s none of this was there yet all these casinos were none of that had happened. So it was all just beachfront. So weird how it changed.

That's funny. We had the newspaper in Biloxi and I did go there. But it was, was it after, we went up to, oh, there was another thing on the Mississippi River that was one of the casino boats that basically, it could, you could have gambling on this boat. Right. As long as it only connected to the shore for like, 10 minutes at a time. Yeah, they keep moving it, right? The rest of the time.

Yep. Well, no, the boats, the boats stayed where it was. Oh, I see. Right. But they just had to lower the drawbridge, basically, for 10 minutes an hour. It's kind of like the way they did. It's the opposite, kind of the same idea, but the opposite that you do on a cruise where as soon as you're in international waters.

Exactly. That's when they open the casinos. Yeah. Pretty wild how that works. Well, that's great. I'm excited for these guys. Jay, that's awesome. Yeah.

Jay says, no, it's just us because my bass player and I were on Todd Hart Harrell's record label. they're making a Brad Arnold Award from now on. Oh, that's very cool. Dude, that's going to be awesome. Yeah, that's rad. I kind of want to see this stream. What time's the stream?

Do we have a time? Do you know a time yet, Jay? Yeah, Jay, fill us in on the time. I will tune in. Yeah. Watch that. We're going to be a trivia tonight, but I can't wait to hear about it. Yeah, I want to see more.

That's awesome. One of our own, everybody. Support him. Check it out. Three doors down. You guys should call yourselves. I don't know. How do you play?

play on that. The band next, next, next door. There you go. Is your cover band, three doors down cover band? Nailed it. Nailed it. It's perfect.

Jay, you don't know what I'm a dime for that. Right, yes, you could have it. Yes. You can just have it. It's time for some news. And today, it's brought to you by. Brought to you by Daily Music. Headlines, find out why Billy Strings has had to cancel a bunch of tour dates.

Here's a little spoiler. He was doing a skateboarding. stunt and he broke his back. Shit. Poor guy. Yeah. Can't really perform like that. So, you know, Billy Strings taking a little bit of a, a little bit of a break.

Also, a brand new Prince song getting released today. Brand new, really, 1991 he recorded it. But there, it's kind of the first of a bunch of unreleased Prince music that is coming out. And early 90s, still in that sweet spot for a really, really good Prince music. Everything from like 80, 19. 1980 to about 1995, I think is a good print stuff. Yeah, good run there.

Yeah. So that and more news, all there at daily music headlines.com. Subscribe on your echo device. It's a really easy thing to do. Just tell your echo device to add daily music headlines to your flash briefing, and it'll do it for you. There you go. This strings kid will be okay because he's young.

He's all right. Yeah, he's all right. It looks like a dude who'd hurt himself on a skateboard. doesn't he? Absolutely he does. He's like just his elbows bleeding all that. Right. Yes. Totally living living that life. Totally.

Guys, we got some quick news for you. We got Amy coming up soon, so watch for that. Yay! Oh, Amy's in the chat. Amy, just hop into the hooey whenever you want. Oh, she's already in. She's already in. I'll let her hear us. Amy says, I'm unaware of the existence of Bad Prince music. I

um, you know, there was like there's some stuff released in the early 2000s. I'm looking at Indigo Nights, but there was another thing that was like, oh, this is some really rough business. I didn't like the stuff toward the end either. Well, I shouldn't say I didn't like it.

It just didn't grab me at all. Yeah, that's more it, right? It's like, Under the Cherry Moon I loved. I'm trying to remember if there was anything after what was after Under the Cherry Moon. That was actually late 80s. So there definitely was something after that that I liked. I, I'm going to go on the record and say, I think bat dance is not a good song.

No. And it's more like, it's more attributed to a remake, like the person who made the remix, than it is anything to do with Prince. Because it's all about, you know, it's really just about, where is the Batman?

Biddeepadeem, it's like a, it's more like, it's almost like art of noise. Yeah, exactly. It's like an art of noise song where they're just doing samples and stuff. I know, Dr.

Calhoun, unfriend you, bat dance. Yeah, I'm sorry. I die. Hold on. Dr. Calhoun, Brian with a Y, likes, he, you like that? I thought that was, Norm does too. I thought that was universally despised the bat dance. And I didn't, I didn't hold it against Prince. I think he's brilliant. Yeah. Oh, diamonds and pearls. That, yep, agreed by O'Call. That was a, that was a really good album. That was a good album, yeah. Yeah. No, bat dance, it's funny because I, I, I, listen to Howard Stern still. And he has gone on the record to say something like, oh yeah,

bat dance, I think might be the greatest Prince song ever. And you're putting it above Little Red Corvette. There's no way he really meant that, right? He couldn't have meant that. And I would die for you. There's no way he was being serious.

I think he was. If he was being serious, that makes me question everything about everyone. Yes. That's insane. thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Well, what are you going to do? I'm trying to see what Amy just put in the chat. I don't know if I need to. I'll have to look at it after. I'll see what it is, though. All right, no worries. Oh, Starfish and Coffee Coffee with the Muppets. Oh, that's awesome.

I totally will watch this after the show today. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Starfish and coffee. Maple syrup and jam. Is that what? Maple syrup? I don't know.

I have no idea. Chimpanzees in Uganda are up to some trouble, guys. This is important news. All right. Forget about all the other stuff going on in the world. This is the one you got to focus on. Ugandan chimpanzees locked in a vicious civil war. No way. This is how it starts, right?

Yep. Researchers, animal researchers are talking about of the world's largest group of wild chimpanzees has split and been locked in a vicious civil war for the last eight years. Nobody really knew about it. Now we do. It's not clear exactly why. The once close-knit community of Nagogo, Nagogo, I think so I said.

Chimpanzees. Uganda's Cabal National Park. Wake me up before a go-go. Yeah, wake me up before the chimps rise up and kill us. Let's see. But since 2018, the scientists have recorded 24 killings including 17 infant chimps.

Wow. Yeah, I know, right? It's gnarly. These were chimps that would hold hands before this. Now they're trying to kill each other. The study published in the journal Science says the intensity and duration of the violence may inform how early human conflict developed. They are our answer.

ancestors, after all, evolutionarily speaking. If they don't have blue and gray uniforms, like how do you, how do they tell which side a chimpanzee is on from a distance? Exactly. Do you think, if you, do you think if you walked out to one of these chimpanzees, one of them would say, let's see if I can find it. There it is.

What kind of American are you? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's trouble, man. Anyway, they're going to figure it out, but right now they are losing their minds and killing each after decades of harmony living. That's crazy.

No kidding. Jesus. Yeah. So good luck. Everyone involved with chimpanzee issues. That's right. That's it for the news today. That's your big story.

We're going to swing the mic over to this now. And we're going to talk about what it's like to be reading in the year 2026. Yeah. Here you go. One of the things that I enjoy also is reading. Hey, look who it is. pal Amy who joins us on the line right now. Hello, Amy, how are you? A but a scotch cloud, tangerine, side of hand. How'd you know all the rest of that lyric? Is that how the rest of it goes?

That's what it is. Yeah. Is it maple syrup and jam? Maple syrup and jam? Yes. Starfish and coffee. Starfish and coffee, maple syrup and jam. Why is it? Butterscotch cloud, a tangerine and a side odor of ham. What's this from again? If you set your mind free, baby. Starfish and Coffee by Prince. Okay. It's just a song. It's a Prince song.

Why is it? It's a sequel to Raspberry Beret is what it is. It feels like I. It's just so joyful. And especially if you watch the video that I put in the, in the chat, like, it's even like that version of it is so, it's just so adorable and just. Why is it not ringing a bell to me at all? I thought I knew every print song. It's funny.

It's a, it was one of his later hits. It's kind of later prints stuff. Yeah. It's like, um, yeah. When, when, when I became. aware of it was when he was he did his little guest spot on a Muppets tonight which is an underrated show by the way and which ended too soon because Muppets tonight was great which one which one was that one was that the one where they tried to be like kind of the office

a little bit no no no no no this is much much earlier this was like the late 90s and it was done by the Disney channel and Kermit was on the show because this was post Jim's death so like they knew they couldn't get rid of Kermit but they also knew that like Kermit didn't like people weren't ready for Kermit to be the front man with someone other than Jim right and so the the host of that show is Clifford who was like the big red dog no no he's like a no he's like a catfish um and i think he was performed by Kevin Clash the Kevin wait wait oh who does Elmo that guy yes oh okay I think I think that's true I'll put a disclaimer, a little asterisk by that.

I could be wrong about that, but I think that's true. But, yeah, like, so I don't know. Muppets Tonight was great fun. I mean, it was the same kind of premise as the original show where it's like a variety show, but it was more, it was, they were trying to make a little bit more modern, I think, a little bit. It had kind of the same format, but I had no problem with it. It just didn't, you know, it just didn't, you know, I mean, I think, Honestly, I think Disney didn't really give it the, you know, the resources it needed.

No. Are you telling me Disney been poor stewards of the, for the most part of the Muppets? I mean, come on. I mean, crazy. Weird. You know, proofs in the pudding, right? Like, but anyway. The Muppet pudding.

Well, that's interesting. I didn't, I didn't realize that was even a thing. Kind of want to go back and seek that out. Probably some YouTube clips. It's a great little song. Like I say, it's just fun. It's like, you know, he's singing the song about a little girl in his class. who had weird shit in their lunchbox.

You know, I mean, that's literally what the song was in a house. We all had a friend like that, you know. You know, it's just adorable. We had a guy that would bring a guy, a kid who would come to school with his lunchbox and he would have worms in there, like real ones. Oh, no. Yeah, a little bag of them. And we, the kind you would fish with, right, like earthworms.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. And they were alive. Like on purpose. Like he was like keeping them there. He was keeping them in his lunchbox. So in a little bag, nestled next to his sandwich. bag and chips and whatever his mom made him, he would have these earthworms.

That is some Gen X-ass shit, because there's no way that any mom now, like nobody, that would never happen now. No. Never in a million years. I don't think so. Either that. You get de-fax called on you for that shit.

Yeah, exactly. And he would take them out and he would like lay him on his desk. And I always remember there was a, you know how earthworms kind of smell? They have a weird smell to them. It's not like an offensive smell. It's just kind of earthy. No, it's like an irony, yeah.

Iron Like the petrachore smell Like a musty smell Like a musty smell Yeah Almost like rust Like metal rusting Kind of

And he would lay those on his desk And make the little shapes out of him They were alive They weren't dead or anybody Just play at these worms And the teacher is always like Now you need to put those outside You need to be bad

I'll never forget that kid I wonder what he's doing now Probably eating those worms Wow Wow Anyway Yeah I don't think I ever knew anybody like that

I think I was the kid With weird stuff In my lunchbox But it was just Right. I never had worms or anything like that weird. I just, you know, I had, honestly, like, my mom gave me the, like, the good stuff. You know, like I had like, you remember, um, Oreo big stuff's.

Oh, double, like double stuff or? No, no, no, no, no. Big stuff. They were like this big. Big ass Oreo like this. No, I don't remember those. Hold on. Yeah.

You look at Oreo big stuff. I used to get one of those in my lunchbox. Probably one F on that, S-T-U-F. Let's see. Oh, yeah, look at that. Oh, that's insane. Oh, my God. Who's eating this?

Me, I was. That's, look at this. No, no, no, no. That's, but that's still a normal-sized Oreo. Yeah, that's the most stuff. With all the stuff. This, I'm talking about like an, like, an, like, a, you know, a proportional amount of stuff. Oh, all.

Oh, all. The cookie itself is big. There is. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's it. Yeah. I don't remember this at all. I don't remember.

There's a great comparison. of the sizes, by the way, right here in this. Yeah, see, that's, see, the big stuff has the correct proportion of cookie to stuffing. Look in our TMS destroy. There you go right there. Yeah. There's the, there's the size difference of the three Orioles. And they don't do this anymore or they do?

Uh-uh. I don't think they do. And like, I remember, I remember distinctly. 91. Yeah. I remember the commercial for it was that song Mr. Big Stuff, you know, the, Oh, sure. Big stuff.

Who do you think you are? You know. I remember that. Yeah. That I remember. That I don't remember it being as big. I remember these. Wow.

The ice cream sandwiches are the... That's like hockey puck size. Oh, yeah, for sure. Right? The ice cream sandwiches are the best. I don't know if you guys have had those, but there's no better version of an ice cream sandwich than the Oreo ones. They're so good. I mean, that's basically what an Oreo is, right?

Like, an Oreo is just like an unfrozen ice cream sandwich, right? Like, it's like, I think maybe that was like the, maybe that was the, um, inspiration for whoever invented Oreos was like, they were like, man, I like an ice cream sandwich, but I'd like one that won't melt. And so they came up with Ori-I don't, I could see that being the thing. They probably just said, oh, Hydrox is doing this sandwich cookie thing. Let's make that exactly. Oh, well, yes, but I mean like, I mean the Hydrox people, yes.

And well, well-received, yes, I corrected, yes, not Oreos. Hydrox did it first. Yes, you're right. Yeah, but you know where Hydrox screwed up? they didn't get weird. These guys got weird. They were like, we're going to have a billion flavors. We're going to have different sizes.

We're going to triple stuff the thing. We're going to make Oreo almost obnoxious. It's funny. I'm looking at like a timeline of Oreos. So they have the regular. Then they have the double stuff. Then they had the mega stuff. And then as you showed on the screen a minute ago, the most stuff.

Like it's all filling and hardly like the cookie ratio is way off. Yeah, the cookie is now inconsequential to the rest of the thing. And then they came out with fins like, okay, all right, okay. We got a little crazy there. Sorry. Like, let's pump the brakes a little bit here, guys. Yeah, right. Like, did you guys know that originally the stuffing of Oreos was lard?

It was like whipped animal fat, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it was made like, it was made with lard and just like, you know, a confectioner sugar. Yeah. That's literally what it was. That's why it's so easy to prank somebody by filling with toothpaste because, you know, They wouldn't know back then.

It was like, oh, wow, my lard is minty flavor. This is great. Gross. Is that a thing you've tried? Swap out the filling with toothpaste? That's a nightmare. I've heard about it being done, but I've never, but I've never done it myself. But, uh, I did it with a box of Twinkies.

I've told that story. Were you filled with, uh, the worst version of that I heard of was somebody like, um, doing that to Oreos and then giving it to an unhoused person. Oh, that's not nice. That's horrible. Prick weenies. I've, I've heard about, I've heard of set. I don't like that.

F those guys. Don't approve. That's just me. You know what's great though? Once in a while, one of these YouTubers that does pranks, you know, this guy goes to South Korea

and all he does is make noise on streets, rip on the local people, it says racist, horrible things to people, and this is his channel. That's all he does. He finally took it too far, did something in public

that was way against some South Korean province law thing and is now, I'm going to serve 10 years in a South Korean print. Good. Yeah. I think that's freaking great, man. All these prank guys should have that.

All the content makers who think that that is the way to get likes and views. I hate it. Like those people in New York that were like throwing water balloons at people and filming it. And then like every once in a while, they pick the wrong one and they get the crap kicked out of them. Yeah, I got no patience for this. I would be one of those guys in those videos that turns and goes off. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

There's no way I'm dealing with that. any day. Exactly. You look like six foot four consequences coming their way. Exactly. They don't need to know that, you know, we're video game nerds and comic book geeks and like, nope. Yeah.

I mean, Scott had his, you know, his RBF and his height and everything, man, yeah. No, I look, I will, that's the thing. I don't think of myself as intimidating, but I will use those tools that day. I'll do it. I'll get right up on that kid. And they're all these stupid kids. They're all like 19. They don't even know who Alan Funt was,

the guy who got it right back in the freaking 70s and 80s. F those bastards. All right. We've all had our say on this. Let's move on. Let's talk about reading things. Let's do that. Yeah.

Let's talk about a book. Okay. So one of my favorite authors has recently released a new book. It's not quite dungeon crawler Carl yet. We got it calm down, everyone. We got it one more month before the new dungeon crawler Carl. out. So everybody prepare for that. We do have a new announcement that they're working on a card game.

That's cool. I'm excited about that. I'm backing it. It's a card game and an RPG. Yeah. I'm hoping I looked at the Kickstarter for that and I'm hoping I didn't get spoiled by anything because I'm 20 chapters in the first book. Oh, yeah.

I mean, Brian, there's so much chaos. There's so much chaos in that book that like even if you get spoiled on like, oh, there's a character who exists that is this. woman or yeah correct yeah if yeah so it won't matter i feel i feel like i haven't yeah exactly it's all about the journey not about the destination with that book sure do you know what i try really hard not to give spoilers when i try and like induct more people into the cult of of dungeon crawler carl because when the first time i experienced that book i was in my car and you know i had no idea what this book was about. All I knew was a very large number of people had told me,

you got to read this book. You got to read this book. And I, you know, so I was just listening to it. And, you know, I was like, okay, we've got like a Patrick Warburton impression going on. Okay, that's cool. That's funny. Okay. You know, he's in his boxers. All right. That's hilarious. And then we're in the safe room. And, you know, he's having a little conversation with Mordecai. and all of a sudden, like, a female voice enters. And I swear to God, I was thinking, like, oh, wow, is there some other weird, like, AI thing going on? And it took me a full-on, like, couple of seconds.

And I'm not kidding. I paused it. And I went, holy shit, it's the goddamn cat. You know? You know? And it's amazing that he does all those voices. Like, freaking the donut voice. I've given that voice to Enara, by the way.

That is her attitude about everything. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it's a perfect default cat voice. It really is. But just the fact that he, that he's able to do all those voices and so convincingly different, it's amazing. Yeah, yeah. And really quickly, too, like if you ever tune into any of his, he does live streams when he records the audio books for them and stuff.

And if you ever watch him do any of that, I don't really just because I don't want to get spoiled on the new book, but I have seen him. I've seen clips, right? I've seen clips of him doing this. And he doesn't like stop between characters or anything. He just talks to himself. You know what I mean? Like he just has dialogue like bam, bam, bam, bam, between these characters. And like there's no break in between them or anything.

He just goes right into it. And it's so impressive. So. But anyway, but that's not the book we're talking about today. No. The book we're talking about today is by a different of my favorite authors. And this one, I think. I think a lot of us could probably use it right now.

It's nonfiction. And I think actually Wendy would probably really dig this book. So, yeah, I think that's as much setup as it needs. All right. Here's your clip, everybody, enjoy. As you move through these pages, please know, you got this. You are not alone. There are a lot of us out there.

Although you don't hear as much from us because we are too busy just trying to make our heads work. I once worried that people wouldn't understand my strange mind or weird wisdom, but what I have found is that there are so many of us who share the same struggle and who are also desperately searching for easy ways to help tame their complicated minds so that they can better find comfort and delight in their lives. We are far from alone and that we are worthy of the work that it takes to find joy and fulfillment. We are weirdos

and we are legion. Interesting. She was recording that in her kitchen or something. It was a weird background, wasn't there? Anyway. So that's Jenny Lawson. Oh, you've talked about her a bunch of times. Yeah, you like her.

I have, man. She's one of my faves. I will talk about her all the time. So her new book that just came out is called How to Be Okay, when Nothing is okay. And I think a lot of us can relate to that particular sentiment at this particular moment in time. And, you know, whatever your situation is, like, I mean, we've all had, we've all had moments where in our immediate personal lives, nothing is okay. There's also the whole, you know, global existential, nothing is okay. You know, this is something we can all sort of relate to. As much as I love,

also listening to Jenny read her own stuff, which she is the narrator as well, so she reads it herself. I think this book is probably better in print form because it feels more like as I was listening to it, you know, it feels more like it's a workbook than it is anything else. And it's like it's like not necessarily like a cover-to-cover read. It's more like a hey, you know, and it's it has things like that where it it's like sort of denoted like, hey, turn to this page if you need a little pick me up, or turn to this page if, you know, you're having really dark intrusive thoughts or, you know what I mean? Like, it's got a lot of, a lot of that.

So it's almost like a, kind of like an owner's manual for a neuro spicy mind. My, uh, my sister would love this because she loves workbooks, huge fan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She likes homework. She likes giving homework to people. That's her favorite thing.

Yeah. And it's great. And it talks about a lot of the stuff that Wendy has talked about on on therapy Thursday. Like, you know, you'd be surprised, like, how much doing something kind for other people will actually pay dividends back to you. Not in any sort of reciprocal way, just literally the act of doing something kind makes your soul feel better. Yeah. Sometimes that karma isn't, like, directly represented by something someone else does. It's just, you know, the kind of person you are, the way you feel can be drastically improved if you, you know, if you're the one just doing good.

I like that. I like it. We need some of this right now. This is good. Right, right? I thought so, too. And it is. It's really great.

And I mean, seriously, I picked that particular clip to show, like, we are weirdos and we are legion. I mean, we can all agree, right? Like, and so it's, it's, it's great for people like us who are like, yeah, we have weird thoughts all the time. Like, she's, she's kind of made a name for herself by giving voice to all the really weird thoughts that some, you know, sometimes like if you were just at a dinner party or something, it would be like a needle scratch moment where everybody would look at you and you'd want to, you'd want to shrink down to three inches tall and disappear because, because everybody thinks you're a, wackadoo. And yet somehow those thoughts really resonate on a larger scale. You know, stuff like, you know, why does nobody think that Jesus was a zombie? Because clearly he was, you know, stuff like that. Just like random, totally random, you know, hilarious thoughts and like embracing the hilarity of how weird and random those thoughts are. But also, you know, the chaos that goes on,

you know, in a brain that is neuro spicy and also, you know, sometimes battling, you know, she's made no secret of battling her own demons with mental illness and stuff like that. So it's just fantastic. She has an entire chapter also on imposter syndrome. And she self-references there. She's like, I recognize I am an award-winning author and I am sitting here telling you about my own imposter syndrome. I recognize, like, that is the very definition of imposter's to joke, right? Like, like, no amount of recognition will ever be enough to overcome that, you know, that little voice in the back of your head that says, like, any day now, they're going to figure out you're faking it, you know.

Never trust a successful person who doesn't have a little of that, at least a little of that. Yeah. If they don't have any of that, they're usually, usually. I don't want to blanket everybody. But usually they're kind of terrible. If they don't, if they never, if they're like, no, I do deserve this. I am this good. I'm amazing. Right.

Right. They're either lying or they're terrible. Yeah. And if they're lying, they might still be terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Either way. 100%.

100%. That is someone who, who is like not comfortable enough with themselves to be able to have some humility and to be able to admit that like maybe they're not the most awesome thing in the world, you know? And maybe they could be wrong. Like that is. a huge, you know, a huge, uh, uh, uh, injury to their ego. And so they, they must protect, you know, and, uh, so yeah, that's a huge red flag right there. But somebody like, somebody like Jenny, who

will write in a book that millions of people are going to read that like she accidentally lost one of her shoes in an elevator once. And like, you know, and like her, her shoe went on this adventure in a, in a high rise building once. Like, I kind of need to know the story. about that now. I gotta get this book. Right, right. Yeah, it's hilarious. You'll lose a shoe on an elevator. Weird. Oh, no, right? It's so funny. So, so funny. I always think about, I had lost a glove on a ski lift once. And there are times I think about that glove and I go, really, where did it end up? Like, oh, sure. Is someone else, did someone else wear it? Did it follow the life of that glove? Sure. Yeah. You know what that always, stuff like that always reminds me of is there was this really, I'm just like taking you guys down,

nostalgia amnesia lane today. But there was, there were these old, like, Disney shorts that were, they had nothing to do with any of, like, the Disney characters, but it was just like, every once in a while, they'd throw in one of these shorts where it was like, one of them was about a pair of hats. And it was, like, like, Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet. And, like, and, like, the, you know, like, how they, you know, their little love story and, like, what ended up happening to them as hats. There was another one that was like Susie the the car.

And like, you know what I'm exactly. That's what I always think about when somebody mentions like some, you know, inanimate object and like what happened to it. Like I always makes me think of those little Disney shorts. It made me think of the, there was a children's book, an old children's book with somebody lost a mitten and some animal finds it and becomes their little home. They crawl into it and stay warm when it's cold out. So think about that may be happening with your ski glove. Yeah, maybe my ski glove is keeping a little, I don't know. Little mouse one or a little vulal or something.

Yeah, I think you should draw it, Scott. I think you should draw what you think happened to your ski glove. I could do a whole little story, a little short comic visual story about the journey it took. I mean, I lost it when I was 17. So it's been a long time. I doubt the glove is in any sort of good condition now, but I do like the idea that each little mouse baby could fit in a finger. and the mom and dad will sleep in the thumb and then out front there's some cheese.

You know, I don't know. Right. I mean, like, that was like prime real estate for that little mouse family, right? Like, because each of the kids could have their own bedroom. Little fingers, you know. Yeah. I like it. I like it a lot.

Well, this is up on the pumpkin cottage.com website or the books, the link is in the chat, by the way. We'll also be on QuickTMS. It is. Yeah. Ice Warms is doing those now, but I gave them everything you need. So he's got it. He's got it covered.

I'm going to copy it for the chat. chat just one more time in case anybody missed it there you go everybody uh that helps not only the pumpkin cottage which is uh a tadpool effort by um you know our good friends hooty hooty and his lovely wife um they this is this is a great way to get both audio or the hardbound book and uh lots of other books too it's awesome these guys are great doing killer stuff uh amy anything else going on you want to mention before we go today yeah i mean i just kind of want to show off a little bit because I'm sitting here while I'm talking to you guys. I'm working on this little project.

Do you ever have a thing where you see something on the internet and you're like, I could do that? All the time. So then you do it. So like this is what I've been doing. Oh, what is this? So cool. What is it?

It's like a poncho thing? It's like a throw blanket. Yeah. And then hold on. Let me scoge my chair back up because I, okay. So it's like a little throw blanket. And then it's going to have roses all around the edges.

Yeah. And then when I fold it up like this, you throw it a check when you're sick of looking at them. It's going to look like a bouquet of flowers. Oh, that's lovely. It's so cool. It's cute. Like, I mean, it's clearly work in progress.

I'm not done with it yet. But like when there's roses all along the edges, it'll look like a bouquet of flowers. Those roses look really good, too. Thank you. Thank you. I wish. I'm making it for my mom, my dad's new wife. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, cool. Do you like it? Do you like her? She turned out. Oh, she's lovely. Yeah, she's a lovely lady. I mean, I'm thrilled. Like, they're, you know, it's always good when the oldsters can find somebody to kind of hang out and hold hands with.

And, you know what I mean? And so, so they don't have to be up everybody else's butt all the time. No one wants to be up anybody. I shouldn't say that. Some people like it. I don't know what that means. Hey, Amy. Hey, all right.

It's been good talking to you. I hope that you have a fantastic time between now and the next time we speak. Excellent. You too. Yeah. We'll talk to you soon. I can't wait to see her in Salt Lake City in June. If you guys want to see her there.

You get to come meet her and Chuck and all the cool people on the show. So get your nerdtacular tickets now. Amy, stay out of trouble. We'll see you next time. Don't eat them double stuffs. No, or the big stuffs. Or the mega stuff. Mega stuffs or the most stuff.

The most stuff. That's so dumb. They basically gave themselves a cap. they can't go bigger than that. Right, exactly. Like, and it's a total play on He Who Dies with the Most Stuff wins. Yeah.

He's the most stuff dies. Yeah, because once you say most, yeah, that's it. You can't go any higher. It is the most. It literally is your end point. Although, what other words could they have used? Like, um, Infinite stuff.

Yeah, I said it just as Dombo is typing. Infinite stuff. Infinite stuff. I like that. Oreo, Yo, Nabisco, tell us your money. Give us your money. Tell us your money. That's right.

Yeah. Even Moster. We got a message from Laurel, although when I heard the name, I just heard. I'm just kidding. It's an old joke. Wait, what? It wasn't. Yanni.

Yanni. I always get the green needle one mixed up with it. Yeah, that's brainstorming green needle. That's right. A combo there. Laurel and Yanni. Anyway, Laurel says, it's so stupid.

I don't know why we wrote that up. Hi, Scott and Brian. This just happened in my hometown. And needless to say, I'm not going anywhere this weekend. Immediately thought of you guys. A truck carrying one million bees crashed in Knoxville, closing I-40 ramp. This was a story that happened in his hometown right there in Knoxville. And I would not leave the house either. I do not like bees at the level of a million of

them. F that. I guess exactly. I guess we live here in our house now and we do not go out. Sorry, bye. We're locking, it's like, it may as well be COVID. Beavid 19. Jeez. I ain't going anywhere. Let's see if they show this at all. This video is not. I mean, they show where it happened, but they don't, they don't show the swarm. Not really. It just shows a guy spraying it down trying to stop him from freaking out. I just a dude, forget it. All they should have to do is finally clean and put her in a box and all the other bees will follow her into that box.

That's easy. A piece of cake. Brian, you're going to get hired as the bee expert in Knoxville, Tennessee. Oh, I'm the beekeeper. You're going to get stung. suddenly he's Australian again. I love it. Right, exactly.

Yes. I love it. Sorry, what's his name? I can't think he was his name. What's wrong with me? Jason State. You're, you're going to get stung in Australia down under.

We also got a note from Jude. Hey Jude. He says, good evening, Scott and Brian. Do you remember mentioning and passing on the morning stream some multiple years ago about how one of your dogs barked in a way that sort of sounded like the word rope. I do. Yeah, I do. I do remember that. Rope. Rope.

Ever since, maybe once or twice a week, I will uncontrollably also bark the word rope in your impression of your dog's voice at full volume in conversation alone or any sort of company. I do not have any other vocal tics. I do not have the ability to explain this to anyone else or myself. Thank you for being completely baffling curse. Sorry, thank you for this completely baffling curse. you have given me major fan for 12 plus years. I thought maybe you, I should mention it by now much love Jude. Well, Jude. Wow.

I think that's great. That's better than yelling fart gas at dinner, I guess. Oh, totally. Your explosive tip or whatever. Yeah, no. Rope. Rope. Do rope.

Rope is good. Is it only when you, see, I got questions for him. Is it only when you hear another dog barking and then you jump in and start yelling rope. Do you just do it? Just uncontrollably bark the word rope is what he says. So I don't think, you know,

any in conversation full volume alone in any sort of company it doesn't matter like with people without people just rope just sitting there with your wife she's like yeah what time we go into dinner tomorrow rope exactly it's not a good way to live uh jude thank you for the message if you'd like to send us your messages you can use all the ways to do it at our website frogpans dot com slash tms you can do voicemail text or email we'll take them all uh speaking of which we will take you all out of here um real quick were looking for upcoming stuff. Excuse me. Make sure you check out the schedule.

Frogpants.com slash schedule. All the live stream stuff is there. And you'll know what's coming. Brian, what is coming in terms of a song right now? Well, something going out to Ryan J. Smith. He says on April 21st, I'm turning the age of Richard Petty's NASCAR number, Raul Mondesci's Dodgers number,

and Darren Sproes' number. So can I get a request to celebrate? I still don't know what number that is. I don't know what that is. Isn't Richard Petty's NASCAR? number seven. So happy seventh birthday. Ryan, you type very well for seven. I was going to say that is very articulate for a kid. Yes, extremely articulate. Oh, 43. Okay. Oh, yeah, we don't know these things. Maybe I'm thinking of Lightning McQueen. Anyway, he ends up by saying decorative tribal scrotum, Ryan from Michigan, because, you know,

three words, three unrelated words to close that year. He did it. That's really, you get points for that, man. We've been asking for this. Yeah. Great. Yep. Uh, he wanted to hear a cover of, Weirdle Yankeviks, I Lost on Jeopardy by MC Chris, happy to oblige. This is one that came out on a tribute to where it Al called 26 and a half. Came out in 2011. I backed it. I kickstarted or crowd fund or whatever I did there. Indigo go go to whatever it was.

Something. Yeah, I supported it. How's that? And got a bonus CD of a bunch of extra songs. Here's MC Chris and his updated version of I lost on Jeopardy. things I just heard about him. First of all, that dude's our age, M.C. Chris, which is weird. A little older, I think.

But he doesn't sound like, he sounds like a kid. No, sounds like a kid, yeah. But he's got, he also has a brand new album coming out. I think it's been years since there's been anything. I think so, yeah. Watch for that. Anyway, here's that song. We'll be back tomorrow with another episode of TMS. Come join us for a Wednesday. We'll see you then.

This has been a Frogpants production. Find all our shows at FrogPants.com. probably won't help but it can hurt.