The Morning Stream - TMS 3005: Tony Stark Fork

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Packin' a Milton Berle. 99 Problems and a Half Naked Guy is One. Call Now, Answered Eventually. The Florida of Japan. Forking Tony Stark. Don't Make Me Turn This Screaming Goat Chariot Around. Forgetting and Conflating Names. Nobody Wants A 2nd Hand Sex Doll. Mongoose blood. The Skibblings. Warm Sticker In Your Pocket. Grabbed by the 6 pack holder. Untainted Fresh Gusher. Dry run with a wet doll. That's very nice, Brian and more on this episode of The Morning Stream.VIDEO: https://youtu.be/Pvc_FjT6x10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know that Boy George's real name was Girl Georgina? That's not true at all. But what is true is the great value you get from your support of TMS today at patreon.com slash TMS. It's George O'Dowd. Coming up on the morning stream, packing a Milton Burl. 99 problems and a half-naked guy is one. Call now, answered eventually. The Florida of Japan.

Forking Tony Stark. Don't make me turn this screaming goat chariot around. Forgetting and conflating names. Nobody wants a side. Secondhand sex doll. Ew. Mungoose blood. The skiblings.

Warm sticker in your pocket. Grabbed by the six-pack holder. Untainted, fresh gusher. Dry run with a wet doll. That's very nice, Brian. And more on this episode of The Morning Stream. I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine. You've got a degree in baloney.

He makes you feel like a moron, but I like him. The Morning Stream. Still looking there are a lot. Oh, my gosh. I'm only halfway through. I'm not going all the way down. Security. Hey, everybody.

Welcome to TMS. This is the morning stream for May 7th, 2026. I'm Scott Johnson. That is Brian. I bet. Good day. Happy Thursday to you.

Yeah, man. Thursday. It's the beginning of the end. As some people. call it. Yeah. Any significant films coming out tonight? What's that?

Any significant films coming out? Like anything you're going to go watch tonight? We're seeing Michael tonight, but it's interesting. There's a drop in today is a new Billy Eilish concert film and a new Iron Maiden concert film. I don't know if they're new, but that's what was what else was showing at the Alamo. Billy Eilish, hit me hard and soft the tour. And it's directed by.

who's it directed by it's directed by somebody famous oh james cameron james cameron yeah yeah that's why they were so it's funny totally unconnected but i was watching flicking through tic-toc and i'm like why is there a press junket where those two are sitting together yeah didn't occur to me to like look any further but that makes sense that's why um mortal combat two yeah is uh coming out today getting better a lot better reviews than the first one but oh good meaning the first reboot of last time they had one but I hear it's still like, you know, it's kind of, it's moral combat. It's dumb.

It's moral of combat. It's a video game movie. Yeah, it's supposed to be dumb, but a little cut above, you know, because of some of the acting and the stories a little better. It's probably better than the other video game movie that's currently out the team that I thought was garbairge. Hold on, which one? What's out right now? That's Super Mario Galaxy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. My daughter thinks that we're all, that everybody who's got a negative opinion of that thing is crazy. I said, well, why isn't Carter? Taylor Tucker, kids. And I said,

do you think it's because your kids are in a place where they don't care about the nuance? They're there for the big, flashy, messy thing. And she goes, yeah, maybe. I'm like, I think that's it. You're there with the kids. You're feeding off their energy. It may not be that great. When you see it with kids who really love it,

That's cool. But man, you go see Hoppers and it just, it just makes you think, why can't Super Mario be this good? Yeah, I got to watch Hoppers out now. You got to watch Hoppers. Is it on the streaming soon? I think it is. Got to be coming soon. Yeah, I think I saw a little teaser for it on the top of the Apple TV plus.

I look forward to it. I also hear the Heavy R. Bardem Cape Fear remake thing they're doing on Apple TV. I don't know if you heard about it. It's like a mini-series. I'll tell it like Jay Leno. You hear about this? You hear about this? Be sure throwing some funky headlines too.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I'll put it right in front of me where the camera zooms in. They always had that little spot, you know? Yes, yes. All of them knew right where to do it. There was no tape. They just knew where their hands should be. They knew where they, exactly.

They knew where to hold it up. Dave was very good at that too. And he was better than Leno had everything. Anyway, the point is, we're not trying to start that war up again. Where was I going? The point, oh, Cape Fear. So the heavy R. Bardem and the role of the, of the killer. Okay.

All right. Like that. I've seen some. He plays the great killer, so that's perfect. I think so, too. He's ominous and all that. And then you got your Patrick shoot. All those haunted movies.

Oh, yeah. The, the Patrick. He's the owl. He's in there with, uh. Fargo season two. Why can't think of his name? Patrick Mahomes, Kelly, Patrick Bejohn.

I don't know his name. Patrick. Yes, right. In the haunting, the Annabelle movies. Yes. Wilson. Thank you.

Who said it? Pete Tread. Fred. Fred 819. Pete Tread. P. Tread. Yo, yo, yo, yo. P.

Tread. Anyway. Patrick Wilson. And then I want to say now I'm going to do it again Superman's girlfriend in the in the in the in the Henry Cavils

Oh Well I need more than that Oh um Uh Yes Lewis Lane It's um Hillbilly edgely

Amy Adams There she is Thank you once again Max Okay Okay Cannot think of names man I had a different I had a different Louis Lane in mine

But you're out of totally the Yes So they So it looks good Uh From what I can tell. And so I thought, well, I don't know if I want to sit through that. That seems, I already know the story, you know.

I've seen both the movie and I've heard about the story a long time. Like, I don't really need this, but the reviews are coming in, like, hot and fast and saying this is like really, really good adaptation. Oh, good. And it's a series. It's not like a two-hour thing. Yeah, and it's going to be Apple TV, you said? Apple TV, yep. Nice.

They had some good stuff coming. They do. That new eccentric, it's like twin peaksy looking, that new series. Something Island or something Cove or... Yeah. To get the Americans guy in it. Right, right. Can't think his name.

I like him to. Isn't he the guy from... You never saw Ripley, did you? The new talent of Mr. Ripley series. No. I know him. I know this guy from... What's that?

The Perry Mason reboot. Love that. Right. Two seasons of that. And then the Americans... Andrew Scott. Yeah. I don't know.

Oh, I get Andrew Scott confused. Andrew Scott is the fleabag the fleabag yeah Matthew rise. Matthew Rise Reese Reese Irish guy yes he's great

anyway whatever that is I get him and Andrew Scott totally confused all the time dude you're not wrong to do it they look the same yeah look like brothers they totally do yeah yeah I want that I want that in my life I hear it's real good

I hear it's funny weird quirky scary like you said Twin Peaks. Like when Twin Peaks was good. Yeah, maybe if, you know, if David was still here, David Lynch. Oh, I remembered a name today. There's a name.

I know it's about time we do, right? Wow, that took long enough. Oh, it's funny. The scapegoat actually starred. Didn't they star both Matthew Reese and Andrew Scott? What? Really? Yeah. Is that why they're conflated in our heads, maybe?

So, let's see. Is this really? That's funny. yeah stars Matthew Reese as look-alike characters John Standing and Johnny Spence I thought what I saw Oh it's look-a-like characters

I thought was giving Matthew Reese and Andrew Scott as look-like characters If they If Matthew Reese was ever Chopped up in a machine Would you call his leftovers Reese's pieces?

Would you do that? Yeah, I would. You would you do that? I would do that. I think I would do that And the family would glare at me. Oh, yeah. I'd get looks.

Yeah. I'd say people would be saying too soon. Yeah. They'd say that guy just died in a horrible shredder accident. And here you are making puns. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

Dude, can I just tell you? Like, my brain is fried because not only did I watch the accountant two last night, but most of yesterday and a lot of this morning, I've been spending scrubbing through movies and TV. TV shows looking for specific points to capture out for Frog Pants All Stars video rounds. I have to imagine doing that has a way of, like we were just talking about, mixing it all up. Yeah. Yeah, totally, totally.

So are we going to have a count in two moments tomorrow or Saturday when we talked about a movie? You're going to be like, I love that scene where Mario takes Luigi. Yeah, when, you know, when the accountant's things don't stop. until you get enough and is working on the thriller album with quincy jones and is uh you know is trying to administer a shot to the to the to the good guy and it's a bad doctor kind of thing yeah that's a real blender of uh entertainment it is it's maybe it's a bad idea to do this i don't know but um sure oh my god this is here's the tough thing is that normally you'd be the person i'd be sending this stuff stuff too early like got to check this out look what i just did yeah um and if not you then

Hammond. Both of you guys are playing. We're in the game. Yeah. I got nobody, I can show them to Tina. That's it. Yeah. And just say, hey, look at this. Check that out. But, you know. That's very nice, Brian. Exactly. Exactly. No. Hey, she's like Kim. The things we get nerdy about, our wives may not completely get why we're nerds about it, but they support it. They totally support it. They don't, they never brush us off with, well, they rarely brush us off with that stuff. Yeah, it depends really how far we take it. Okay, they occasionally brush us off with that stuff. Yeah. Sometimes we take it a little far. That's all, you know, we'll admit that. I'll admit it. That's very true. Well, that's exciting.

I can't wait to see, obviously. Yeah, yeah. We're going to see soon enough. Speaking of which, look at this. Every nerdtacular, I had a tradition where I would give what I called nerdtacular kids prints out to kids. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, this year, it's a sticker because I think stickers make more sense now.

A little dyed cut sticker with a little kid and his little nerdtacular bits. That's awesome. A little super suit there. Hey, kids, you know, the best place to stick those is on the inside of the back window in your mom's minivan. Peel it off, just stick it to the glass. We promise that it's very temporary and it's not going to be a problem to get off. They'll be fine. And these are, I think people are going to like them.

So this is the way it works is, not everybody has kids, obviously. But anybody who brings any kids, let's say zero to 50. somewhere in that range. And I see you, I'm rocking up and you're getting one of these. There's going to be in my pocket all the time. They'll be nice and warm like a gummy bear from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Great. And I'll give your kid or kids, plural, their own little nerdtacular kid's sticker from whatever.

And if I have any of these leftover, we'll come up with a fun way to give someone there or something. Exactly. But don't come up to them as an adult and say, I left my kid in the hotel room, but can I have one of the stickers? Yeah, don't be doing that. I have to see that they're there with you. I just, I see a kid. Can you sign it and make it out to me? Yeah.

The only way you fool me is if you're maybe a little person who skews younger in the face or something. Sure. And I might be tricked. Let's hope there's no skewing in the face over an artacular weekend. That's right. And if your kid's trying to get away with something and you're on top of each other's shoulders wearing a raincoat, I've seen cartoons. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, no, that's the other way around. You can't, you can't, you know, you can fake an adult by stacking kids up in a raincoat. You can't fake kids by. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because if they want to, like, get to the beer cart or some shit like that. Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. I'm just saying, I'm keeping eyes on both ends of this wagon.

I guess if you got a, like you said, if you skew young enough in the face, you can pull off the Dorfond golf thing and, like, put shoes on your knees and walk around. Do that for a sticker. I think if somebody does that, they do deserve a sticker. So I'm just going to, I'm going to say. There's a way to quantify in sketch comedy, all forms of it. So whether it's the Mary, or not Mary Tyler Moore show, the one we were just talking about with Tim Conway. Cherubonet show, Burnett show, whether it's that or S&L or any of those. Who cracked up everybody on cast the most?

Oh, yeah. And I'll bet it goes to, it's probably. Absolutely Tim Conway. It's probably Conway. I would, I'll bet you Farley's close. Yeah, oh, as far as like on, you. Yeah, Farley, Farley probably, Farley and Dratch probably are responsible for the most laughs, impromptu laughs. Or even Kristen Whig seemed to always get it out of people.

Yeah, that's true. No, oh, no, is a McKinnon who would get it out of people. Like, she'd be doing that, the alien abduction interview stuff, and the other two usually would be, like, you know, the guest host and then somebody else. And she'd be saying, you know, they grabbed me by my. six-pack holder and brought me up to the table for a probing. Honestly, the way she sat is enough, I would just laugh. Yes, right. I wouldn't be able to hold it in.

So, yeah, so low down the chair, but hanging completely off the chair back. Lower back is the only thing holding her on the chair. Cigarette, yeah. I think I feel like Norm would have been pretty good. Who else? Probably, oh, well, Pharrell. got people to lose it.

It was usually Jimmy Fallon, if we're honest, but whatever. Jimmy Fallon was an easy target. And I think if you could get Jimmy Fallon to do it, then the rest of the cast would crack. Yeah. I don't know if you've been watching the current season of SNL. And I don't know if I've brought it up here, or if I brought it up somewhere else.

But Ashley Padilla, have I talked about? FilmSack pre-show last week. That's what it was. Okay, yeah, Ashley Padilla's broken the record of the most, sketches in a season and she's not even a main cast. She's still featured, featured player. I mean, they're going to change that, right? They're going to give her full status

after that. Well, I mean, she's got to put in her two years, but yeah, I mean. Oh, I didn't know there was a rule. I didn't know that. Yeah, you got to be a writer for two years, featured cast member for two years before you get called up to the big leagues. But she, they did a sketch with her and was it Ryan

Gosling as a couple of teachers? and this is the first time I've ever seen seen them do this on SNL, but they, instead of having everything on cue cards, the gimmick of the sketch was that the kids were passing notes in class. And they put a thing on the bottom of the screen that said, Ashley and Ryan have not seen,

pre-seeing the things that are on these notes being passed around. They are reading these first. And so the gig is that they're taking the notes away from the kids and say, oh, well, how about if I just read this out loud? And then they have to read what's on the sheet. And it completely broke her right from the get-go. And it is one of the funniest sketches. I mean, already the Ryan Gosling episodes are gold. He's already like, like he's, when he comes on, he is full on in, on SNL.

He did that Beavis and Butthead thing with Mikey Day. He's always great. broke um what's her name uh he just left yeah yeah um wait did she leave she did she left yeah that's right but uh but yeah when you if you go search this one out the um the gosling and pedia sketch weather teachers and it is absolutely right just to watch her completely break well i like her a lot so that will not be a hard ask i also like that other one uh that dude that's always on now let's see what's his name marcello yeah yeah yeah marcello's great Yeah.

He's a hit with the ladies, too. His first appearance every episode always gets the big cheer like Jost. Colin Jost gets it too when they do weekend update with Michael Chey and Colin Jost. I mean, at least those guys are like actually handsome as opposed to Davidson. It's just kind of dopey. Pete Davidson. I don't understand. I never understood the attraction.

I think he's funny. I think he's interesting. I think he's got stuff to say. It's not that. But for him to get. Kate Beckinsale and Kim Kardashian and Ariana Grande, who else? He has this long line of... Absolute megastar hotties.

Yes, exactly. And he's back there going, do, do, do, do, I just don't get it. Maybe it's humor. I think the key term that I said in that statement might have been long. Oh. Oh, I see. I think he's packing a Milton Burl down there. It's basically what's going on.

The old Milton Burl trick. Yeah. Those stories were true, weren't they? I think they were true. From what I hear, yeah, they're true. And it was great. Oh, did you ever see the Saturday Night movie? Still haven't.

Nope. On my list. I don't know why I haven't. It's dumb. J.K. Simmons is fantastic as freaking Milton Burl. I think I heard the clip on a fresh air interview with him and they just played the clip of him. Yeah. And even the clip sounded like Milton Burl.

He's great. I freaking love him. in everything. Yeah. Like put him... They put him in that accountant, too. Oh, really? Was he in both?

I figured he was done, like, retired. Yeah. The character, I mean. You think. Spoiler. Spoiler. This is the first scene. It's not a spoiler.

Joe Jonah Jameson Jr. They call him. All right. Excellent news. Well, a couple things. I have a weird... I got a question. I've told you about my neighbor

that does the crazy amounts of decoration for holidays up the road. It's just the go... Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Bananas. And they, you know, the whole half the power grids, you know, helping them do Christmas or whatever. And it isn't just the major holidays.

He'll do everything. So if it's Valentine's Day, they go nuts for that. They do. Really? Yeah. The most minor stuff, they go crazy with it. I mean, usually it's like, all right, we've got a bunch of inflatables for Christmas. We've got a bunch of, you know, decorations for Halloween.

Maybe something for Easter. Sure. You know, but these guys do it all up. Like even Valentine's Day is a crack up. Yeah, they'll even do, if there's not one that's like a bespoke holiday of any size, it'll be like a spring collection of designs or something. But there's these rare windows when nothing's up. It's between something.

It's rare, but we'll see those. Now, here's the weird thing about this guy and I cannot understand this. I'm not going to try not to make this political. It's kind of hard not to, but. Sure. When their yard is just a yard, he puts up a 2020. Oh. Donald Trump for president.

Trump Pence for president campaign flag. Gotcha. From 20, from 2020. From 2020. Hanged this up. It's gigantic. And he puts it in his big flag holder out front. And then it's there for a day or two.

And then it's down because we're putting in Easter or we're putting in whatever the next holiday declaration is. Yeah. And then when there's a window again, Shunk puts that in there again. And it's to me. It's a, there's a bunch of stuff to unfold there. But for me, the weird thing is like, all right, 2020. Okay. Is that the only one you got?

Like, you know, obviously. I mean, I think he's a, he's, it's clear he's a denier, right? Probably. It must be. That or he's so, there's no way that he's this cheap because he goes out and buys like giant skeletons and. Right. Motorized coffin doors on his Halloween setups and stuff. So I know the guy's got money.

Well, those obviously clearly don't come from overseas. No, definitely not. Definitely his entire yard, I promise you, for any of these events, it's all Timo, it's all straight from China. Spirit Halloween on November 1st. Yeah. It's really weird. And he's also got multiple signs out that you normally don't see because the decorations cover them. But when they take him out, there's these signs everywhere that say, smile, you're on camera.

Hey, you're being filmed. He's one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm just kind of afraid to go by there sometimes. I just feel like. Sure. What's the, uh, what's the, uh, pretend?

by Smith and Wesson or something or a security system by Smith and Wesson or something. And my bigger overall beef is, I understand, you know, you have a preference toward party or an affiliation, whatever.

Maybe you're even registered in the state for blue, red, don't care. But my point is, at what point, like, I really like Mad Max Fury Road. So on that wall,

I have a poster over there, I've signed some fine, signed photos. Like, I've fanned them for that. Sure. I'll never, no matter who I'm, even who I'm voting for, I'll never understand that level of fandom for a political figure. I don't get it.

Yeah. To me, it seems insane to me. It's, I think, again, this feels like it's like people are going to see, well, duh, Brian, but I think it's less about, I'm sure he's a fan of Donald, but I bet it's more about triggering the lips who drive by. Yeah, he'd probably right. Yeah. that's also a weird thing to really enjoy doing it is it absolutely is who's got the energy for that

yeah what am i get it manned yes he's confirming the well job right yeah i don't get it but anyway there it is and again you know i'm not harboring any judgment during a lot of the year he brings some nice you know visual interest to people around and kids love seeing the lights and everything but then when it's not he's like yeah you're on camera plus i got this flag It's just weird. Yeah. A couple of N26 reminders. We talk about these stickers.

That's all very exciting. But I just wanted to just remind people real quick as we zero in on our 30 days left. Yeah. There are some tickets still up and available. There are some add-ons that remain for those as well. You can go read all about those at frogpans.com and just click the Nurtacular link. You'd be good to go. Here's what I really want to tell people, though, soon.

And when I say soon, I am hoping today or tomorrow. like everything. I'm just waiting for waiting for things. Yeah, there's a lot of waiting. We're going to have some shirts and merch and stuff that will be at the event for sale if people want them like Nurtacular Hoodies

and things like that. Pre-order for those that if you're going to the event, we'll give them to you there, meaning you don't have to worry about shipping or getting them on time or any of that. You'll just order them on the store and then when the day comes and you show up, you go, yeah, my name is so-and-so, I ordered it or whatever,

and you just tell us your number and bam, there's your shirt. So we're going to do that this year. We've tried to do this in the past, sometimes it's a pain, but this time I think we got it so we can do it. So watch for that in the next day or so. And the popular stuff that sells well on the site, pre-show, we will also have on hand there for people who wanted to just grab it while you're there. The hard part about that is we can't guarantee all the sizes are going to be available throughout that did two days and things like that. So, you know, it's just one of those things. That's why we're doing the pre-order.

So watch for that. And then for anyone who got bookended dates for the Marriott rooms or anything like that, I have a tiny favor to ask. I just have a theory about this. What I'm trying to do is see if I can, this is just between us and the audience. Sure. I'm trying to get the Marriott people to go, oh man, so many people have told us about their bookend dates.

We really ought to roll some of that into. the total and count that as part of the Oh, they don't count that? Some of it they do, but not like, like some people are coming in like a week ahead and booking stuff through the whole thing. I'd just like them to know, even if it

doesn't move the needle on, you know, my totals at the end. If I had to guess by the time this is done, if you counted every room that was reserved whether it was for the three days or not, but it was around the three days, we'd easily hit that number.

The target number. That's not how they count stuff on room nights. They count it for the nights of the nights. Right? That's all part of the thing. So anyway, I'm just saying, if you did it, wouldn't hurt to call them and go, hey, by the way, I just want to let you know,

this is all for that nerdtacular event. I don't know if my extra days count, but it'd be great if they did. Anyway, thanks, bye, you know, that kind of thing. Not saying you have to. No, but it would be nice. Yeah, but it's not a bad idea. Just let them know.

Yeah, just a little shake at that. Really excited about that nerdtacular event. those rooms I booked, by the way, or the booking of the rooms are because of the event, just so you know. Just so you know, all that extra stuff, the extra time I'm going to be there, the money I'm going to spend in your bar or your restaurant. Exactly. It's all going to be because of us booking it.

Anyway, thanks. Have great day. That kind of thing. All right. That's all I had there. Quick note, no TMS Friday tomorrow. This is a brand new news. This is just dropping.

The reason this is happening is I realized I double stacked about four different meetings tomorrow morning. Oops. And they all roll into my. final meeting at noon. They're all neretacular related things. They're things I can't get out of. However, Brian, willing to do, to be there and be

the pillar and do the guest the connection for everybody. Yeah, I'll do guest connection. Usually it's after TMS Friday. I'll do it in place of TMS Friday. So that'll be at 9 o'clock. It'll be the normal time that TMS starts. Yeah. So watch for that. Get excited. Six songs.

All covers. One extra connection that they all have with each other. And you got figured out. Boy, I made the last one so tough. Nobody has guessed it. Really? No guess? Oh, man.

No guesses. Well, I'll take that back. No correct guesses. And you still carry it forward if you don't. They don't get it. You wait till you carry the prizes forward. Yeah. So it'll be a box and a half basically is what.

Oh, it compounds a little bit. All right. It does. Yeah, basically it's a box of all stuff that I got from loot crates. And there's going to be some Geeks Who Drink Swag that we got from the, uh, the trivia event this last weekend and all that stuff. So, all right, you can also throw this in for them. You can tell them they can have their very own almost entirely used roll of toilet toilet paper.

Terrific. Yeah. What a great. I know, right? You didn't expect that today. This is a big deal. It's a free, it's a dirter tube that has its own wrapping, has its own protection of it. Exactly. Yeah. All right. Weirdos. Get ready. Would you not eat my pants? We're going to try another one of these weird ass Tony's chocolates. They're not that weird. They're fine. Oh, they're fantastic. What was the sea salt color we had yesterday? Was that orange?

That was orange. So we've got this yellow. We've got red. Green, blue, purple, and red. Should I just reach in and pull one out and whatever color it is? As long as it's not purple, because some reason my wife took the bag and we didn't leave a purple. I have everything else here with purple. How about a green?

Let's do a green. Dark chocolate almond sea salt. Ooh. Sometimes I am in a dark chocolate mood. You know? Me too. I prefer it over milk chocolate. As a kid, I would have said that was an insane thing to say, but now as an adult.

Until I had baking chocolate. And I'm like, oh, this is not meant for candy. Right. Cooking. Don't eat those out of the. I would do that as a kid. I'd come home from school and go, there's a whole bag of chocolate chips in here. Yeah.

I'm going to get a big handful and run around eating them. And I do it and be like, that's the worst thing I've ever eaten. Anyway. It's the equivalent of cooking wine versus real wine, Scott. There you go. We use that sometimes around here. All right, another, another bolt from the top of a manhole cover with a broken chain on the top.

Cool. Oh, I like this. How much sugar than that? You know what? Those are fantastic. And that's the bitter kick that I like now that I used to not like as a kid. Yeah. And there's just enough sweetness

And it's in the caramel and the almond. That's my favorite maybe so far. That's really good. I thought yesterday is going to be hard to beat. I'm putting that one above it. So if yesterday's was eight and a half, we see this one's a nine? I give it a nine, yeah. Yeah.

We can't go full 10. Like, what are we, IGN here? We can't do that. It's a bit of a stab with those guys. They've been a little weird lately. Anyway, well, there you go. Thank you again. Very good.

Bicholik. We will see him. nerdtacular. You guys get to meet the... Yes, we will. He's the best. The kindest gentleman you'll ever meet. And he also helped in the development of the original Fallout games, so... Really? Oh, that's right. I think you mentioned that.

Yeah, it was amazing. Pretty rad. All right, we're going to do some quick news stories here. One or two. Let's see what we got here. Where? I can't find that. Here, we'll do this one. FAMES. Just kidding. Hey, it's today's news, and it's brought to you by. Brought you by Coverville.

Today I'm going to be featuring music by Herman's Hermits, the Yardbirds, the Hollies, and 10CC. Any idea what they all have in common, Scott? I don't actually. I don't know how they're connected. I can't wait to learn, though. They are connected by one guy, a guy named Graham Goldman, who was in all those bands or wrote for all those bands,

and is just an amazing songwriter. things like, you know, for your love and the things we do for love and I'm not in love, boy, there are a lot of songs that he wrote that have the word love in the title. No milk today. Sorry, I shouldn't eat a chocolate right before I do these intros. But anyway, fantastic songwriter and covers all over the musical spectrum. For example, I like having some of these little teasers in here. uh folks like jonathan colton the pixies the damned um the rubinus uh the men they couldn't hang yes that's the name of a band all of these people all of these people uh on today's episode of coverville which will take place right after

tms today i have a i have a clip from him telling us how to say his name here it is right here it's me goldman okay oh there you go wow see it's me goldman i feel good that i've been pronouncing it the right way the whole time So bad. One of the worst video game videos ever created. What is that from? That is from the video game. The Sega, the House of the Dead.

House of the Dead one and two. House of the Dead two, I believe. It was like one of those light gun shooters in the arcade. And every line of dialogue is a masterwork in garbage. It's so freaking bad. But Goldman's your villain. And it's just hard to take him serious. Oh, yeah, that's terrific.

Yeah, I think I have a slightly longer version. Dogs of the AMS. Time they made and move. It's been a while, hasn't it? My friends from the AMS, it's me, Goldman. Everything's set. All we need to do is wait. It's just so bad.

But it's wonderful. I'm so glad it exists, you know. That's great. But you think like Barry and Jill and all that is bad? They don't even hold a candle to Goldman. He's the worst. The way that we'll make a man. That guy's the best.

He's the best. That way's the best because nobody bothered to correct him. Do you have the clip where he screws it up and just keeps going? Somewhere, what did I call it, Wiley, Dr. Wiley? Dr. Wiley? This might be it. I don't know if this is it or not. But where is Dr. Wiley?

That's a good question. Oh, no, that's just a good question. It's somewhere in here where he cannot say Mega Man and he corrects himself. And they just thought, you know what? It's the 90s. Let's just leave it in there. It's just going to leave it. Yeah. Guys, here's your news. A half-nude Boston man.

Uh-huh. It's a strange. What's his superpower, Brian? Oh, jeez. I feel like, knowing the story, I feel like his power is he's wicked smelly. There you go. There you go. Half-nude Boston man accused of forcing child to eat gushers candy in a restaurant bathroom.

Jeez, there's so much. So much to unfold in that bad. of laundry. 34 year, no, I guess you fold laundry. You don't unfold it. Right. Well, you've unfolded to put it on. Sure.

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have to think about that. A 30 year old or where is there? Okay. A 34 year old partially undressed Boston man. Do they get into what partially means?

I mean, I'm guessing shirtless. Probably just shirtless nips out, you know. Yeah. It says he had been accused of forcing a child to gushers candy in a restaurant bathroom last month and following the child and his friends to a nearby playground yeah put this guy on a list and jail in jail and list exactly exactly uh the incident which resulted in a kidnapping charge unfolded at the nine a 99 restaurant in austin street in charleston about uh march 21st according to a report from the boston police department it's called 99 restaurant

the 99 restaurant so where you where you guys going tonight the 99 yeah well i hear there's a guy in the bathroom making people eat gushers. Don't go there. It's named after the Barbara Felden character. Deep cut. Deep cut. The deepest of cuts. Yes. Good one, though. I wonder if that restaurant has 99 problems. Well, it's got one.

They got 99 problems and the guy is one. 13-year-old boy was at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon with a group of friends when he went into the bathroom and encountered. 34-year-old dude he didn't know. The man was standing in the bathroom shirtless and there it is. There we go. Okay. And holding an unopened box of Gushers candy. According to the report, Gushers is a gummy snack with a fruit-flavored liquid inside.

That is true. Kids used to eat those like crazy in our house. Yeah, yeah. The man told the child to eat the gummy from the box. Eat the gummy from the box. What's in the box? Gummy. Gummy, eat it.

I'm shirtless, eat it. The child tried several times to go around. the man who was standing in front of the door and asked to leave the man however maintained his position inhibiting the victim from leaving and continue to demand the victim eat the candy good lord

so freaking weird and just terrible man yeah I'd be like A why is he shirtless B did he buy the gushers and decide he was just going to hang out make anybody who came into the bathroom eat at gusher

yeah and are the gushers untainted did he lace them with something. He says it's still a sealed box, right? Like an unopened box of Gusher's candy. That's right. So at least there's... The first person gets a fresh gusher. There is a silver lining to this story. The gushers were fresh. Yeah. Barely. Oh, shit. Anyway. What do they serve at the 99? We have a person in the tadpool. Fred 819 says he's not shocked that it was at the 99. Is that a chain or just a single place? Sounds like? maybe.

Yeah, I don't know. It's not shocked. It was at the 99. Kind of want to know more about that. Like, what can I get? What's the menu at the 99? I'm going to see if I can pull it up. Let's take a look.

99. See if it's worth our Friday night. Celebrate mom at the nines with a $50 e-card and a free box of gushers. Oh, 99 restaurants. It's a bar restaurant with classic pub food. So it is a chain or something. It's a chain. It's a chain.

It looks like. wings, Tatah skins. Oh boy. Another, like we don't have enough of these. Oh, they got a,

they got a, oh, they got a mascot. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they got a, I don't know if I,

I don't like the mustache on this, but mascot, there's something. No, it's, it's, it's like HR puffing stuff,

but not. Good call. That's the vibe. That's, it's it's HR puffing stuff again deep cut for some of you but Brian and I know we know by the way I think he's

probably more likely that you know that than Barbara Felden that's true he looks like he's eating popcorn or something he is eating popcorn yeah he looked for at first he looked like he was eating those socks but weird he's eaten popcorn let's see if we have anything close to Utah

doesn't look like it Colorado maybe Denver no no Denver no Denver Yeah, it looks like we're screwed. It's all Massachusetts. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. There are tons of them, though. Oh, here we go. Other states. I thought it was just that. So Vermont, Rhode Island, New York, New Hampshire, Maine, and Connecticut, as well as obviously where they started in Massachusetts. Vermont, I'll have to see if I can visit a 99.

Oh, Brian. Stories for the show. Yeah. Yeah. I'll, you know, I'll take. bag of these chocolates and force people to eat them when they come into the bathroom. I love it. This is,

I'm, to sign me up to your newsletter. Is it too early for a sandwich? I mean, I'm not saying, I'm saying I would love all this. I don't want, I'm not saying,

I'm not telling you not to do it. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying, you know, we'll do a lot for content here, but I don't know how far we'll go.

Yeah, I don't think we'll do that. Yeah. I'll do anything for you, but I won't do that. Speaking of which, content-wise, before I read this next story, people in the chat, I want you to do me a favor and hop over to frogpants.com slash TMS and start sending either voicemails or text to the voicemail text line. It's right there.

The voice cast thing is right there on the page. And because when we're done with this, we're going to take some of those in real time. So like call now, but like real time messages being sent. Eventually, we're working on the details and the tweaks on it, but we will be able to do live calls again at some point. Oh, good. For things like that, that's still being set up. But the, for now.

So call now, but we'll answer in a little bit is what we're saying. Yeah. Call or text now. Also, the night bot's wrong at that old text number 801, 471. Don't do that anymore. Jeannie kicked that one out of there. Just go to edit the nightpot. Yeah, just go to frogpants.

slash TMS. It's all embedded right there. So you don't have to do anything special. Use that. All right. Final. You'll answer whatever you ask. Yeah. Well, whatever you say, we're here to do it. That's what we're going to do.

A man charged with dumping his silicone girlfriend. Oh, no. It's real shame. Caught him with a shirtless man eating gushers. Yeah. Breaking up is hard to do. And if you know this better than a life-like sex doll owner, who Shizukia, sorry, Shizuco, uh,

Anyway, Shizuoka. Shizuoka Perfecture in Japan. Yes. Police have charged with illegal dumping. I do that once a day. I do too. All that heroin in my poo. Should get used to do it into the bathroom, but you can't do it.

No. Now it's late. You know, trying to stick it to the man a little bit. Yeah. Anyway, August 21st, 60-year-old unemployed resident of this place wrapped up his 1.7 meter tall, 50-kilogram silicone girlfriend and a sleeping bag drove to a remote wooded area

and dumped her. Oh my God. Yep. Wow. Yep. He thought it was a nice clean break, you know. It's not a real person. It's not a real body.

I'll just dump it out here in the woods. Turns out there's laws. Like, why not just a dumpster or something? I mean... Yeah, or disassemble it. Maybe that looks weird too. Like you're chopping people.

Yeah. I mean, but you put it in a sleeping bag bag and throw it. in the woods. It is, it is. Yeah. Let's see. Nearly two weeks later, September 1st, couple alerted police after discovering what appeared to be a corpse while walking their dog. The body had been wrapped in the bag and bound

around the neck, waist and ankles. A head of black hair protruded from one end of the bag. Yeah, I'll bet they thought they saw it. Okay. This is even, like, this isn't, this isn't, I'm trying to get rid of my, my reel doll. This is, better get me before I do this for real to somebody. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, see, I'd worry about that. That's a good, really good point. I think this is like, let me see what area is I could dump a body and we'll see if it comes back to me. Oh, nope, didn't. Okay, cool. Now I can do the real thing. It's like Free Ranger says, that sounds like a serial killer dry run.

Yeah, it's beta testing. Yeah. Ugh. I don't like it. Jeez. Police retrieved the body and immediately launched a criminal investigation. Several hours later when the forensic pathologist began to unwrap the corpse to perform the postmortem.

They realized it was actually a state-of-the-art sex doll. Why wouldn't you sell that? Or maybe you don't want to use one? Yeah, I don't think, yeah, it feels like something that you don't want secondhand. Maybe you can swap out the bits. I don't know. I don't know how those things work. I have zero.

I have no experience in the world of state-of-the-art sex dolls. Seeing themselves as a victim of a malicious prank, the authorities vowed to track down the perpetrator and charge him with interfering with police business. So that's the other take on this is it could have been an attempt to just troll. to police. Right. That's an expensive troll. I mean, all of this is, there's no way a state-of-the-art sex doll

costs less than a few thousand dollars, right? I would assume. I think that's how they go, right? I don't actually know this. No, I'm glad to say that I don't know either, but this website certainly is not helping me. Expensive sex doll. This is a terrible thing to search and I want to listen.

Did you do it at least in an incognito window? I didn't. Oh, boy. Here we go. Five most expensive. Here we go. There's something called the, if you want the girl, it's the Quinn 1.0. Or if you want the dude, it's the Nate 2.0.

Okay. Nate and Quinn. All right. Let's see. They are, where's the prices? There's also the real doll X, Sal, 1.0, and Violet 2.0. A lot of versions. Yeah.

They're all made out of. silicone. They're all This one's only four feet tall. The the article, the comments in the article, say $6,000. Oh my gosh, dude.

Yeah. Okay. I guess it's not as much as those those pinball machines we're always talking about. That's not as much as a real person. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't like the future. The future's weird.

No, no. The presence is a little strange, but the future is bad. The photo on this article is just, it's so much worse than it should be. I want to share this. There you go, guys. You mean the one with the bag with the bag? With the sleeping bag and the hair and the feet sticking out on either end of the sleeping bag. Yeah, that looks like you could put that up on, I don't know, what was that old website?

Everybody was horrified. Rotten.com back in the day. You could put that up saying, actual victim of a thing. Yeah. No, that's a rubber lady. Pretty rude, though. It's really horrendous. Yeah, exactly.

Pretty rude thing to do. Jeez. Anyway, they're, uh, I love when stories aren't about Florida people, though. I love it. I know. Yeah. It just makes you feel better. Apparently, the Shizuoka prefecture is the Florida of Japan.

We found it, folks. Yeah, we did. All right. Now this. Call now. We're going to play a little call now. Call now. That's right.

You guys, you guys hop on to frogpants. dot com slash TMS, everybody watching us live and you do that. Call now. Here's what we've got. We got one right away from Totally not BioCow. Totally not. He says that, but I don't believe him. Anyway, says you've ever considered murdering someone?

Oh my gosh. Like not just imagine, but getting so mad you'd want to hit them with your car at that moment. But think about how you'd get away with it. So he's talking about premeditated. Yeah. Made a. Made a. I mean, no.

No, I can't say that I have. There have been people that I've been angry at for sure, but there'd be people I wouldn't mind to fall down some steps or something. Yeah, like on their own, but I'm not going to push them. No. No. But I might leave, you know, the front step of Air Force one a little loose. Oh, I'm sorry.

Maybe a plane that they travel on loose or so. If you see a big-eyed short Indian guy show up at your door later, you'll know what's going on. Right. Yeah, it's never... Sorry, you don't have any cash. Never anything I've considered, thought about or otherwise. No. Thought about it.

No, have you, bio-co? Yeah, what's going on, Preston? Not BioCal? Yeah. We, uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, you have our... I'm trying to think if there would be a case. Yeah.

I have to admit. Like, if you have to do it, like, the, the prospect of getting away with it. I feel like I've seen, I've seen enough procedural dramas to know how not to do it to get away with it. Yeah, I know what you mean. We've seen how everything that they can do to find stuff, including like, I mean, they traced this sex doll back to the dude. And all it was just was in a sleeping bag. I mean, yeah, I don't think, in modern times, people always say, why are there less serial killers than ever before?

Yeah. Because it's really easy to get caught now. It's really easy to get cut, you know. Satellite imagery. Tip number one, you don't do searches on your own computer and leave it in your search history. That's right. Sex dolls, for example. Oh, wait.

What have I done? Oh, no, Scott. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, my history is interesting. Yeah. It's always show related, though. That's always my excuse.

I can point. You know what that's what it'll be. Let me point to the episode where we discuss this in real time. Yeah, the episode where he also said, well, but here's how I wouldn't do it. If I were to do it. If I, if it was me, I, I'll say this, there are, I, I often wonder what, like, where your limits are as humans, like, where, where do we have a line? Yeah.

And a line for me, I've always felt like if there was a line and it was going to be hard to, in the moment, control my reaction, it would be if my kids were in danger or in particular, if theirs were. If like Van or Phoebe were like somebody, If I find out somebody's grab one of them and run through the mall and I'm in pursuit, I can't, I can't promise how that's going to end up. Yeah, exactly.

Because I, who I'd get blind with rage. That's what that would be. Yeah. So there's your answer. It's a good, yeah, it's a good answer.

Here is one, it looks like this is an audio one. So we're going to play this. Oh, cool. Hopefully we got good audio. I hope it's easier than would you commit murder. Yeah, that's our hope.

Here we go. Hey, good morning. It's Lydia. Here's your voice kiss. HR puff and stuff. He's your friend when things get rough. H.R. puff and stuff.

You can't do a little or you can't do enough. Those words are probably wrong. Anyway, I just want to say hi. Can't do a little, but you can't do enough. I'm hanging out with my friends that I grew up when you mentioned things like this. Have a great day. Bye. Lydia's great.

She is great. I was more of an electric woman and dine a girl. fan. Yeah, no, I mean, I was more of a, what was the land of the lost? Oh, yeah. And these were all the same people.

Marshall Will and Holley. It's all Marty Croft and whatever. Yeah, Sid and Marty Croft. Yeah. And everything they made, it was kind of aimed right at us, you know. The banana splits. Wasn't there, there was something kind of like HR puff and stuff, but it was

same same era or same era and but it was like it was it was it was exactly the same where the main character was a dude in a huge suit uh new zoo review is that what it was that it was like uh yeah seymour oh oh now it's ringing a bell semore the sigmois seymour the sigmoor the sigmooster maybe it was sigman the sea monster is what i'm thinking of yes oh what was that Sigmund the Sea Monsters. It wasn't great space coaster 9-12. That was a different thing. I like that too.

Yes. It was Sigmund the Sea Monster who looked like kelp. And he had, uh, here you go right here. You got an image. Oh, sweet. Yep. Copy image. It's going in our Discord right now.

Excellent. Excellent. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep. I'd forgotten all about this. Oh, my gosh. That's bringing it back. Oh, that's Johnny Whitaker.

That's, uh, Jody from Family Affair. Yeah. That's a weird. I'm telling you, those guys were stoned and everything they did. They totally were. Totally were. Yeah. But that thing, I mean, it's like, that's a thing you kick out of the way when you walk on the beach is that creature.

Is it a kid on the left? Is that? The kid on the left is the kid from family family family. Oh, you're kidding me. Yeah. He also looks a little like, hey, what was, I can't think of his name. Who's the comedian that does the props? Caratop.

He looks a little like carrot top. He does have a little carrot top. Yeah, that's weird. Billy Barty is the one inside that costume, by the way. Shut up. Yeah. Utah's own Billy Barty. Wow, I didn't realize he was Utah, Utah man.

It's one of our favorite little, wait, am I thinking to the right? There's a little person from Utah. Hold on. Billy Barty. I don't want to, someone's going to tell me I'm wrong. Here it is. He was. Oh, no.

Who am I confusing him with? He's from Millsboro, Pennsylvania. Didn't he have something to do here for a while? Hold on, Utah. No. I'm thinking of a different small guy, Brian. Okay.

Whoever it is in Time Bandits. He's one of those guys, and there's like 10 of them, so I couldn't tell you which one. Yeah. It's not R2D2 guy, somebody else. Let's see. Electroaman Dining Girl.

Yeah, that was your Deidre Hall from Days of Our Lives. Somebody said there was a new movie. Oh, really? Zytam says new movie of Electrooman and Dining Girl. Not really, right? Is there seriously a thing? Not that I know of.

Unaired WB television pilot. Really? Yeah. They were bringing that back. They were trying. Well, Gen X. Marky Post as Electro Woman and Ann Stedman as Dinah Girl. I was a big Marky Post fan.

Yeah, who wasn't? She seemed like, you know, the neighbor mom you wanted to know. for lack of a way better way of saying it that's good thing that didn't get weird not at all here's an anonymous message from an anonymous person yeah as you say

yeah really really really had to work that one in what is the weirdest meal you've ever made or sorry what is the weirdest meal you've made in the last month. Oh. Peanut butter and jelly tortilla

with hot pickles, his little baby pickles, not in the wrap, but separate on the plate. Yeah, like the little bread and butter, the sweet pickles kind of thing. And then some hummus that I dipped the pickles in. That was pretty weird.

That's while Kim was gone, of course. I don't have to explain that. Of course. Well, der. Dure. Man, I really really. have not made anything weird in the last month. Plus, you don't, you make

good things, right? Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm I took some bread and toasted it and put some cheese and ham on it and then fried an egg and put that on there. It's a crock monsieur, no, correct madame, crock monsieur. No, I really haven't

had, I haven't made anything weird lately. Well, you'll have to come back around on this one. I will. I'm sure, ask me after I've been left my own devices in Vermont for... Oh, yeah, because you're going to be a little remote. There's opportunities there. I'm going to be a lot remote.

Yeah. I can't wait to hear about this. Yeah. One final one, as we're running out of time here. This is from Luke and Boulder, speaking of Brian's hometown, but near him. Right up the road. Yeah. He says, do you guys ever think about it?

Is that all? That's it? Is that all he says? That's it. Oh, he actually, he chose to have it said by an AI voice. Let's see how that sounds. Hold on. Does that let me do that in real time?

Yep, here it is. Let's see what he says. Do you guys ever think about it? No, it's the same. That's it. No, no preface. Is there a subject line or anything? No, just says text from Luke and Boulder.

Quite often we think about it. Yeah, you know what I do think about it a lot. It's not worth of trouble sometimes is what I think about it. Yeah. It's obviously important what the it is in this conversation. It really is, yes, exactly. But I think about it. Yeah.

I mean, depending on the it, I think about it eight to 12 times a day. More than women do. I can tell you that. Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah. They're trying to not to think about it. By the way, the snow that we had broke a huge chunk of crazy neighbors branches off. It's almost completely gone.

Like, I'm looking at my front camera, and I see a little bit of snow in the closest part of the camera, but the whole front of the lawn is already back to being green and warm. Such a weird thing, man. Just like day of, day of white and now back to green. We've been a little rainy and storm. We had a thunderstorm last night. It's been kind of weird, but we never got the snow, man. Although, I don't know.

I would have loved it if the mountains would have had more snow. Like when people get here in June, normal year, you would look up and we're right here in the valley. When you look up at the mountains, you'd see that there's still snow caps, right? That's normal in June. Yeah. But I'm not sure that'll be true this year because it's, We're getting to the point where those snow caps are barely there now. And by June, you know, a month from now, they might be gone.

Feels weird. Climate. How does it work? How does it work? All right. Well, that is it, guys. Thanks for playing a little call now with us. We'll do this again sometime.

We have a hole. Oh, you're probably wondering where's Wendy? That's the reason we did that. Oh, yeah. Wendy's running some kind of conference in Minnesota today and was not able to be here. So that's what happened there. But don't worry. She'll be back with us next week.

A couple of quick things. Core today at 1 p.m. Mountain time right here on the Twitch channel. Me, John, and Bo traveling. And Bo's going to be connecting in desktop mode on his steam deck. Oh, wow. And it supposedly works really well for what he's set up there and this other part of Canada because he's traveling for some work thing.

So I don't know how that's going to go, but I would tune in to see how either how terrible this is going to be or how great it's going to be. Right. Yeah, it feels like you're good. It's going to get weird, though. It can be a little weird. Yeah, for sure.

Anyway, today, that's 1 p.m. There will be no TMS Friday tomorrow, but do tune in at the normal time to do, make the connection. Guess the connection. It's your new dating show. Make the connection. That's right. Make the connection.

Oh, 30 seconds. Sorry. Well, if you want to go out again, we'll pay for it. Yeah. Or you've got to just learn how to plug cables in. Just make that connection. Yeah, that's really it. Yeah, exactly.

And then, which one is the USBC? What's Scuzzy again? Anyway, more can be found at frogpants.com slash schedule. And we are, of course, at frogpans.com slash TMS. The only thing we have left to do is play a song for the people. It's funny you said Scuzzy, Scott, because Captain Ed says, Hello, Scuzzy and Bod. Nice.

Last year I had a bicycle accident that put me in the hospital with a broken wrist and ended my bike riding season. This year, I'm back on my bike, training for the sweetest ride in Ohio. The Tour de Donut. This unique bicycle event has riders eating glazed donuts at every rest stop. Each donut eaten gets time taken off your total time. It's a huge amount of fun. And I want to do this. Sounds awesome.

Why am I doing this MS-150 garbage when I could be doing this? Yeah. Anytime in May or early June is fine. Could you play either Don't Stop Me Now or Sweet Seven Nation Army Dreams by the Hematimish things. So. Ah, sorry. Well, thank you for that. Oops.

Yeah, no, the Hamatamish, I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it, but they are an oompa-umpa-poca band that sings sometimes in their native tongue of German, and it's fan-freaking-tastic. This is their cover of both the arithmetic and the white stripes. It is called Sweet Seven Nation Army Dreams. Here is the Heimatumish. I like in seven seas. Thanks for listening.

The Frog Pants Network lives at FrogPants.com. I like it better that way.