The Morning Stream - TMS 3008: Dashboard Confessions

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

A tooth in the hand is worth two in the bush. Stumpy Dong. Hula Jesus Duck. Frontier Dentistry. It's never your wife's fault. Cosplaying Knives Out!! Liverpudlians Say Relax! Tad Fooly Pubes. Tooth Fairy is Getting Sloppy. Guaranteed a Yank. Edge with peace and love. Poptart proctologist. Little Plushie Units. Nose Waxing Pulls Your Brain Out. Tech Time With Thomas The Tech Engineer and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Henry Ford once tried to build a massive utopian city in the middle of the Amazon rainforest called Fordlandia. This is true, by the way. It never really took, but the place was full of escorts. Here's another idea. Support TMS today at patreon.com slash TMS. Coming up on the morning stream, a tooth in the hand is worth two in the bush. Stumpy dong. Hula Jesus duck. Frontier dentistry.

It's never your wife's fault. Cosplain knives out. Liver puddlein say, relax. Tad-fully pubes. Tooth Fairy is getting sloppy. Guaranteed a yank. Edge with peace and love. Pop-Tart proctologist.

Little plushy units. Nose waxing pulls your brain out. Tech Time with Thomas the Tech Engineer and more on this episode of the morning stream. It's just a bird. A big bird. Guns, cannons, rockets. It's just a bird. D. D. S.S.S.S. The morning stream. The whole damn shelf is breaking off.

Hello, one and all, and welcome to TMS. The morning stream is what that is. And it is Wednesday, May 13th, 2026. I am Scott Johnson. That is Brian Abbott. Hi, Brian Abbott. Hi. Hi.

Hello. Good morning to you. I don't often subscribe to the hump day philosophy, but today does feel like a hump day. It does feel like, all right, first part of the week is done. Now it's time to move on to the second part of the week. Downhill. Doesn't it feel like Monday, Tuesday, went really quick this week?

Everything feels like it's been going really quick, Scott. I am, I, uh, so, you know, as people who've paid attention to Frogpence All-Stars know, um, each round begins with a video round. It's a good way to kind of ease into the game. Um, I can, uh, kind of get myself prepped while the video is going and, and, um, uh, And then it's a lot of fun for the audience because they get to see these, this big trivia question unfolded as a video round. These have been the most involved video rounds I've ever done. Oh, my.

And I'm really, really happy with how they came out. And I just got the third one done yesterday afternoon. And so it's like, all right, cool. Game one, game two, game three, video rounds, done. This pleases me. I can't wait to see these because they are the fun. I think there's some of the most fun stuff we do is the videos. I think so too.

It's one of my favorite parts of All-Stars. I mean, you know, if you set me down and said, what's your favorite part of All-Stars? It'd be hard for me not to say, well, the video round, name that nerd, and movie poster taboo, and the final countdown, and, you know, it's hard for me not to love it all. And Veronica's saying you cheated.

That's a fun one. Yeah, yeah. Veronica, you know, just getting mad in general was great. Justin getting mad about having the David Letterman top 10 lists with an actual writer from David Letterman. Yeah. Jenny's husband was a former staff writer on Letterman and he was up there part of the competition. And Brian brings out these letterman top literal letterman top tens. And he didn't know.

He didn't know. I didn't know. And he didn't really do that well on him. No. He did okay. But he's, yeah, it's still a memory thing. Yeah. It's not like he broke them all.

So, yeah. That was pretty funny. Yeah. So once again, you know, I'm stuck with all these great things that I can't wait for people to see. But everybody that would normally show them to is playing. So. Yeah. You're like, ooh, I want to send this to him.

Oh, no. Yeah. Exactly. So Uncle George is going to get to see him and he's going to get to enjoy them because he's, he's helping with the game. He's not playing the game. She's scoring. Oh, yeah, KT data.

He's going to be scoring. Yeah. Uncle George is going to be. playing the role of Tristan and Carter and what we later found out to be the most stressful thing that Tristan and Carter ever had to do. Yeah, we all assumed that they were just like, easy peasy, stand up there, flip a little thing, no big deal,

but both of them will tell you the tale. Like, it shaped their lives. It was so stressful. Carter says this all the time. She's like, taught them about life. Yeah, having to flip. Like, basically you just have this little PVC pipe thing that I made with some laminated numbers,

and every time I said, okay, team one got 10 points, team two got 20 points, and just flip the cards to say who's got what points. And it stressed them out so much because they did not want to get yelled at by the Nurtacular crowd if they got things wrong. Well, yeah, because they would witness, they would witness Veronica freaking out. And then they would think she would do that if I got the score wrong. I'd better not do that. So it's like all this added pressure.

But we didn't think about it that way. They were just like, ah, the kids are helping us. It's fun. Yeah. They were like, I mean, I think it was good for him. I think this helped prepare them for life. That's what I think. Oh, for sure.

For sure. So here's the deal. I made a really big goof yesterday. All right. Tell me. I'd love to give my wife some heat for this, but I can't. You love to blame her partially for them. Yeah.

Because she's involved in a way, but she's not, she is not at fault. So here's how the story goes. I am on some medication for my doctor to keep my sugar levels and check, my blood sugar. Normal, fine, whatever, been taking it for a long time. I inject it with a needle directly into my

stomach, which sounds gnarly, I realize, but it's not that big a deal. A little thin needle. Yeah. That's actually a pretty painless part of the body you do this with. Yeah.

So she normally does it for me, though, because I'm a little skittish about the needle part. I don't like it. it. But I don't mind if someone else does it to me. I just don't like doing it to myself. There's something that locks up in me when I have to do it to myself. Sure. So usually what we'll do is like, oh, yep, it's that day. So let's do this. Now, here's the complication in it. We had Ramona last night all night. Nick and B had to work late last night. So we told him we take

the kid overnight. No problem. Love taking. I love having her. So she's at the house. So we've got a two-year-old running around. It's a little chaotic. She's trying to watch bluey and dinner's happening and all these things are going on at the same time. And I say, Kim, we got to do the shots. If we don't do them now, we're not going to do them. She says, yeah, good idea. Let's do them. So I go in the kitchen.

They're refrigerated. There's little vials, right? And she says, grab the one and the son of them. I'm like, I know where it is. I got it. That's an important part because she may have been very specific about which one, which I'll bet she was, yeah. Thing I was grabbing.

Now, I assume many vials in the, the fridge, but they're not all the same, they're not all the same thing. Turns out we've only got two, but one of them is the wrong one. I don't know why we still had it. It should have been thrown out. It's like four or five months old. It's an old prescription that is no longer the thing they're giving me. They give me something better now. And I didn't know that we still had the old one. And I thought she said, get the one in the blue bag. It's a little tiny pouch. And I thought she said blue bag. She said brown bag. But I thought she said blue bag. Okay.

So I took my sad blue bag in there and grabbed the blue bag. And I went back. I got the syringe thing. I bring it in there. And she's like, okay, here, hand it to me. And the baby's kind of being a pain. And so I'm like, hey, Ramona, come here for a second. Let's talk, you know, I'm trying to distract her while Kim's doing everything.

So she does the draw real quick. She pulls it out. It's 20 units. I don't know what the units are actually translate to, probably CCs. I'm not totally sure, but that's the prescription. Yeah, maybe not. But yeah. And so that's the.

the normal things. Totally fine. It's like low dose anyway. I'm on this like very low dose of this stuff. It's just like it's just there to like keep me. Maintenance. Exactly. It's not like extreme. And so she goes, come here. I go, okay, pinch it. She goes, sticks it all in, pulls it out and then goes, Scott. And I went, what? And she goes, this is the wrong one. I said, what do you mean it's the wrong one? We put it right there all the time. I thought she meant which side of my body she put it. Oh, oh, funny. Okay. She goes, no, no, no, this is the wrong stuff.

This is the old one. And the old one's dose, because of the way it was made at the compound place, was only five units. Five cc's or whatever. Yeah. So I took 20 of a thing that's supposed to be five. Five. Oh, geez. Okay.

Pretty much drained that vial. Now, here the good news was. Well, the good news is, won't make that mistake. Yeah, because now that mile's empty. Yeah, that mile's empty. We just throw it away. But so we're kind of, at first, I'm kind of like panicking going, well, I need to know what this means. What did I just do to myself?

And so I start looking it up. And I talked to Jerry Tolbert last night. And he's always, you know, he's like on hand. He's better than a freaking, what do you call those places that you go that aren't the ER but the other place? Oh, the urgent care. Yeah, he's better than urgent care. I can just get him on the line. He's our own teledoc because we go into Discord and we tell a doc what's going on.

Exactly. And he tells us back what to do. And it was like 10 o'clock his time, but still he answered my text and we talked back and forth. Basically what it came down to is you can have up to that amount eventually if you were on that stuff and you built your what your tolerance up to it. But I never did that. And so he says, he basically says you're going to, you're probably going to feel pretty bad overnight. It's going to take a couple hours. You're going to, you're going to never want to eat again.

Like run down kind of thing? No, like ridiculously over the top, nauseous. Oh, gotcha. Okay. Like I thought I was going to break my street last night. That's how bad it's supposed to be. That's pretty bad, yeah. So I didn't, but I felt

pretty rotten. And the heartburn is out of control. It basically just slows your system down to the point that like it really slows everything down. Like your entire digestive system just kind of goes to a halt. And when you suddenly dozeant, you dose yourself that much. The good news is since it was three or four years or three or four months old,

it had probably diminished in its potency because old medication does that right. You lose its, it loses its whatever overnight, its flavor overnight. Like the chewing gum on the best of the best. I can't think of another example of that. Let's bring up an old bluegrass. You know, so the down home folks can understand what we're coming from. the Garrison Keeler fans out there can appreciate that one. Yeah. So I'm up all night with like the worst

nauseous like awful, just really terrible. But the other fear is this also can cause your blood sugar to go too low and that's also dangerous so you don't want to go too low. So I had to check that and you know, it was all fine. It worked out and I feel okay right now

but if you put a plate of eggs or something in front of me right now, I would throw them in your freaking face. nothing sounds good. Just like, like, thinking about food just makes you nauseous or just not even interested. Oh, can't even like, what's it like? It's a little like if you got like bad stomach flu and you're on the way out of it, but you're just not, you can't eat yet.

You're just like, oh, I can't eat. It's like that feeling. So it's like self-induced post-norovirus levels of nausea and just kind of like repulsion. Like last night I was like, I feel gross. But this morning, I was like, Kim's like, now I could just make you something small, like little eggs. And we've got these like, I think we have some bacon. And I go, oh, you're going to make me hurl in here. So I'm not doing any of that.

And this is probably going to last a day or two. And I'm going to be really grumpy tonight because if I don't, you know, it's going to be hard. I'm going to have to force myself to eat today. That's how this stuff works. So you think it'll be that like it'll stay in your system that long? Like it'll, it stays for a week. It's just the severity will. less over time through the week.

So by tomorrow night or so, I should be kind of close to back to normal or feeling normal, but the effect of like curbing my appetite will definitely happen throughout the rest of the week until next Tuesday. Anyway, it's just like, basically it's just,

it's literally an overdose of the thing that I normally take a very little amount of. Yeah. And I was so like, out all these scenarios in my head like, I'm going to wake up in a pool of my, own switch. Right.

Of course, your mind goes to like, what's the worst, worst eventuality of all this. Yeah. As you hear about these old people are like, I read that label wrong

and took 14 of these or whatever. And you're like, oh no, grandpa, get to the ER, call poison control or something. There's an interesting side note. Jerry said that poison control's actually awesome. And it's not always,

you don't just call them and go, I ate rat poison. What do I do? It's not like that. It's usually like this sort of thing. and that they're extremely knowledgeable across the span of information about everything. Interesting.

So they'll say, oh, yeah, all right, take a, do one and a half teaspoons of epicac and you're fine. Yeah. You'll puke all night, but do it. Yeah. Or whatever. They'll give you advice that doesn't necessarily mean rush to the ER and have a $2,000 bill because we live in America. Yeah.

So I, you know, I said that to Jerry ago. I like, at what point do I go, hey, I got to, we have to go. Like, what, what signs would there be? He says, well, if your blood sugar goes below 60 and you're feeling really weak like you're going to pass out, that's probably a sign that you should go in. But I never got to that. So the bottom line is everything's fine. This is just a shout out to everybody out there that might have an old bottle of something, anything, pills, whatever. Your doctor gives you whatever.

Lay it around and you just forgot that they were different or you just didn't, you were, you were distracted and busy. Like Kim was apologizing up and down because she's like, I should have noticed what bottle it was. I should have noticed. I'm like, I think the, I think this is my deal. I think I screwed up. Don't let poor Kim take the rap for this. I'm not letting her take to hate on that. You got to make sure to fess up. I couldn't. I couldn't do that. There's no way. Fully owned up to it. And really, you know, you got old medicine like that. Chuck it in the bin. Yep. Check it in the bin. There's no reason to hang on to it. Even if you paid, like these things are, it's kind of expensive. I hate how expensive it is. But my, you know, my insurance is just weird with it. Yeah. So there is a tendency to go, well. It's so expensive. I can't throw it out.

Yeah, maybe we'll have to go back and you use the old stuff again. We just never know. And then I'm just totally forgot about it. And therein lies the problem. So don't do that. Let this be a PSA to the world. Throw out your old meds. Yeah.

All right? Yeah, exactly. Even if it's dumb stuff like, what's this bottle of ibuprofen we've had since 2006 doing here? Throw them out. Exactly. Those aren't even prescription medications. It doesn't have to be prescription stuff. No, old stuff is not good.

to put in your eyes or down your throat or up your bum. The check in the bin thing reminded me. I put an audio file in your direct TMS or a direct Discord thing. This was part of a trivia question I heard today that I answered correctly, of course. But I had to play it a couple times because I wasn't quite sure if I heard what I thought I heard. It's only like 20 seconds long or 15 seconds. long but yeah let's play this want to hear it see if you see if you at first

hear the thing that I thought I heard at the very end of this all right here you go Thomas is a tank engine who lives at a big station on the island of Sodor he's a cheeky little engine with six small wheels a short stumpy funnel a short stumpy boiler and a short

stumpy dome dome or dong that's that's why I have to play it two or three times I can sworn now it was a noisy kitchen you know was watching the news and uh it took me two or three listens to really okay he's saying dom he's not saying a short stumpy dong dong but peace and love the don't yes what is this was for a trivia question about thomas it was for a trivia question nope

it was for a trivia question about english accents oh and uh where this one with his particular one came from which is uh what do they call it there's a term for the one uh for the they call it liverpool Yeah, but the liver puddly and That's it. Yeah, you're the one that told me that Liver puddlian. Liver puddlian. That's an amazing thing to call anything. Yes. Pudley.

Yeah. Padley or Scouse. Yeah. Oh, Scouse is another one. Scouse, yeah. I like that. That one I only know from the beginning of a, was it Frankie goes to Hollywood? It's at the beginning of Born to Run. There's a couple arguing. And one of the, he says,

I yelled Scouse or something like. that, and then it goes into the Bruce Springsteen cover of Born to Run. That's a cover? Frankie goes to Hollywood, yeah. Oh, no, no. I was thinking you were saying. I thought you were saying that that was, what's his name, was doing a cover? Oh, he just said his name.

Bruce Springsteen? I thought that was a cover. That's his song. No, no, no. That's his original song. Yeah, 100%. Okay. Frankie goes to Hollywood does a cover, and there's like a couple fighting at the beginning.

and I could swear one of them calls the other one a scouse. And I think Holly Johnson is from Liverpool, I think. So Zoe, is that a term of negativity over there if you get called a scouse or a liver puddlian or something like that? Is it meant to be rude? I wonder. Because the Beatles are the most famous Liverpool people ever, right? Yeah. Like what else you got?

So it depends on the tone of voice really. So, oh, you scouse, pass me the donuts. Or, man, get out of my way, you freaking scouse. What are you? Some kind of scouse? Scouse. I love it. Yeah. Well, all right.

Yeah, Holly confirmed. Holly Johnson is from Liverpool. Holly Johnson. Holly Johnson. Lead singer of, dude, lead singer Frankie goes to Hollywood. Oh, shit. He told us all, he say relax. I thought his name was Frankie.

Sure. I can understand why. Yeah, he gave us that relaxed song, which I think relax. I think the relaxed song, and I only learned what edging meant last year. But I'm pretty sure. the relax song is an edging song. It's kind of, yeah. I think it's a, I think it's a, you know, slow down, partner.

See how long you can keep this going before. Yeah. It's like Sting. Sting and his, what's it called? Tantric. Tantric sex. Yeah. Yeah.

I think was Sting the first edger? You might have been. He might have been, or at least the first public edger. It's like, I don't, you know, just from what I've heard from women, uh, doing that for three hours gets painful. And you maybe don't want to do it, Sting. Yeah, I don't know, you know, Sting may think of himself pretty highly.

I don't know what Sting thinks. Maybe. Maybe Trudy likes that, who knows? But, yeah, no. Man, three hours. Three hours. Good help. I could do it for three hours.

You need a peach for hours. But don't stand so close to me when I'm done. Don't come near me. Do, do, do, do, da, da, da, da, da, over you. Yep. I'll punch you so hard. see fields of gold.

I don't know why that's a voice. I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Well, I lived, so just if you're going to overdose, just be careful, you know. Yeah, yeah. Give it your best effort and don't die. That's all I'm saying. And I was never, I was never going to be like that. The question was, how sick was I going to get?

Right, yeah. I think I'm glad it wasn't very, wasn't, you know, wasn't enough to stop the show, which is good. I feel a little dopey. I can tell you that. I feel kind of dumb. today. How can you tell? Yeah, right? How can I tell the difference? Chat room, you'll have to be the answers to that. How can you tell if I'm any different?

Does Scott sound dopeier? Yeah. Let me know. Do I sound dopeier? Put it in the comments. All right. Guys. Slept until the ripe old time of 4.45 a.m. this morning. Woo. Wow. Geez. Glew. G slept in getting some extra time in the bed there. Exactly. All right, guys. Guess what? This now. Well, if that music means anything, it's that we're about to be greeted and joined and blessed to have with us. One Brian Donaway. Hi, Brian.

Oh, hi, Scott and Brian. What's going on, man? How are you doing? I've been better. It's okay. I woke up this morning. I was all mouth breathing last night because complete stoppage. But, you know, whatever.

I took a bunch of medication. I'm at home this morning. Yeah. You can't get in sleep worth of crap. Took some medicine. I went back to bed. But hey, I'm up now. Hey, I'm up now.

Allergies, right? Is that what going on with you? Yeah. Yeah, stupid allergies. Yeah, man. So many freaking allergies. Plus, the weather is going up and down. Yeah, that doesn't help at all, does it?

Plus, you had an amazing rant on Facebook about people's license plates. Yeah, that too. I was sick. I was sick of that crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was awesome. Go read it. Yeah.

I need to, yeah. The short, short forum is, if you're going to preach from your bumper, would your bumper stickers make sure you're being nice? Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. If your bumper stickers say things like Jesus saves or freaking the Lord has a watchover all or peace or whatever, then maybe drive like you live the bullshit.

Otherwise, sure. Otherwise, what you're going on your back of your car just seems like an asshole. It seems like you should be doing it, not me. You should be doing this stuff. Some might say that sounds like practice what you preach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go. There you go.

There you go. I was thinking, I think we need to really, I think we really need to ratchet up the fire on people with their statements on their bumper stickers. Yeah. Really hold them, really hold them to their, yeah. I just don't feel like we get Brian Dunaway rants very often. No, we really don't. Yeah, I don't do it often.

I don't, because you know why? I don't want to hear it. Here's my favorite that I've been seeing, you know, a couple times recently, the bumper sticker that is apparently mass produced because I've seen on two different vehicles. And you just know the driver is a douche, but it says, if I have to pass you on the right, you're an idiot. Yeah, yeah. It's like a black and white, plain impact font bumper sticker.

If you're doing it right, I shouldn't see your bumper sticker at all because I should be in front of you. Bye. Yeah, bye. See you. Exactly. Exactly. game. Well, let's play a game. We're going to play Tad Fooley. Tad Fooley Pude. Tad Fully Pued. A couple of Tad Fooleys. Tad Foole Pude, everybody, line up. There's some of that stuff I was talking about. Let's play this game. Let's let Brian have to play the Tad Pooley feud. I've surveyed the Tad Poole on some nerdy topics. And Scott and Brand will have to predict the answers that they gave us. It's Scott and Brand's job to see how many of those answers they can guess. At the end of the game, we'll add up all the points. And the winner will actually be winning prizes.

for their listener contestant and contestants will be pulled from our supporters at Patreon at patreon.com slash TMS. Scott, you're playing for Xeric Envy. Yeah. Oh, I got Zerick Envy right now. Yeah, you do. Who doesn't, right? And Brian, you're playing for Squishy.

Squishy. I don't know if that's squishy, twitchy or not, or just another person named Squishy. I don't know. I don't know. But we're happy to have them nonetheless. Either way. Yep. Any variation on the term squishy, we're down. Bring it on. right exactly squishy, twitchy, twitchy, squishy, squishy, twitchy

any of the above. To squishy, squitchy, I don't know. Squitchy and twitchy. All the variations. That's right. Squishy, twitchy in the tabrooms says, I think it's me. Who can tell? Who knows? We don't know. Who knows? Let's get to this. Put your hands

on your buzzers and get ready to answer this. We asked a whole messy you tadpoolers to name something you'd find on the dashboard of a car Oh, poopie. Bobblehead. Show me bubblehead. That's fifth answer.

There's four answers that will beat it. That's good. Can I get the full question and add it full context? Name something you'd find on the dashboard of a car. Phone. All right. He says.

Everybody puts those stupid phone holders up there now. You're right. That's true. Those little cell phone mounts. I don't like how you're asking. question. I want to change my answer? It's like I'm the only person who thought of this because you're like going, yeah, I guess I could see that. No, that's not a good answer. Yeah, yeah. I'm with you. I've got one.

And I frequently pass people who have one on their dashboard yet they're still holding their phone up to their mouth like their top-tart proctologist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see guys in like brand-new beamers where I know they have a huge infotainment system that is excellent at capturing one's voice to talk over the air, to speak to people. And yet they're still doing that. They're still driving like this, dude. And it's a Tesla.

It's like, I'm pretty sure your car has Bluetooth hands-free, whatever. I bet you could use that. Lame. Totally lame. Run them off the road. Anyway, show me cell phone mount. Oh, yeah. Brian gets control of the board.

Fere points, I know. Sometimes I like to make you sweat a little bit. Something you'd find a dashboard of a car. Something you'd find on the dashboard of a car. Right. So, man, where I live, everybody puts their mail up there for some reason. I don't know if that's a good answer or not, but papers and other crap that make it hard to look out the windshield for some reason. Sure.

What's wrong with you, people? All right. Show me papers, please. Peepers? Oh. Number, answer number 18. I mean, it's up there. People said it.

but it just isn't up in the top 10. But yeah. Maybe that's just a local thing. If you drive a work truck where I live in which, oh, God, there's so many, they always, yeah, every bit of mail they have right there and there. I've seen that too a lot. A lot of my neighbors do that. I don't know why that is. I think maybe I do it when I'm driving home and I stop at the mailbox first and then go home.

I think I might throw them. It seems like a bad idea, though. I'm going to defrost the windshield. Not today. Well, I'm going to go for, I had it. And then I forgot it. Wow. I can't believe we haven't got the top one. That's wild. I got it. I want to do the, the, not GPS,

the fuzz buster, the speed. Oh, radar. Whatever that's called. Radar detector. That's what those are called. Radar detector. Yeah. I don't know if they still do those. That's still a thing? I don't even know. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Show me radar detector.

Oh, man. Listen, you guys have both gotten dumb answers out of the way. Now we've got eight other answers on the board that are good. And maybe you could start picking some of these. I'm going to say M&M's. No, I'm kidding. How about?

So name something you'd find on the dashboard of a car. Little stuffed animals. People put those things up there all the time. But once again, these all feel like when I say them, yeah, little plushies and stuff. Yeah, stuffies as some people call them. Yeah, stuffies. They call them stuffies?

All right. Sounds like a place. to get some good coffee in the morning. Go to stuffies. There you go to stuffies. All right. Show me. Come on.

Damn it. Come on. That'd be kidding. We're in the wrong direction, Scott. Take a left. Number 24 in the survey was stuffed animals. Dang it. All right.

Well, let's go with one that has it in the name, Dashcam. Dash cam, yeah. Let's take a look. Show me Dash cam. There you go. Number six. Good points, too. Wow.

That's not the number one. answer. Yeah, what the hell are people put up there? On the dashboard? We're missing a whole section of, all right. I know a thing that makes my wife mad. Skin crawl? My feet. What's that? I put my feet up. Oh, your feet. Oh, that is perfect.

That is such a tadpool answer. Let's do that. Let's do the feet. Super tadpool answer. Show me feet. What? I don't even know. As good as it is, feet or footprints. What?

It was number 22. One person even said, footprints upside down. And it made me think, oh, exactly. The horizontal tango, I get it. What are you doing in the passenger seat there in your vehicle? Maybe we're thinking it incorrectly. Maybe not on the dashboard, like on the top of the dashboard, which is what I think of

when you say on. But I guess technically, like a radio is on the dashboard of a car. No, that's true. Okay. Is that your guess? I guess. Remember when we were in high school and we all just, all we wanted to do is buy cooler stereos for our cars.

Right. Yeah. And who cares if other parts of the car suffered because you had to have the most, you know. Didn't care, but big old gap at the bottom. Fine. Whatever. Exactly. All right.

Show me radio. Oh my God. What the freaking hell, dude. Absolutely. My God. All right. Yeah. Now I'm not sure.

Not like a speedometer. am I still heading in the wrong direction or Christ how this one's so hard Spenometer I love it Are you going with that? How many, yeah, how many people answered this?

355. So out of 3505 we've only guessed what like the bottom third has said, Scott. Yeah, you haven't even said the number one answer which is really, it's kind of funny. Show me, Spatometer. Spenometer.

Oh my God. All right. We're up there. Okay. Well, now I think we're, I think I know what's happened. I think we've, yeah, I think we've decrypted the, uh, the bull. Yeah. Um, I think so. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe don't get, maybe. Maybe don't get hung up on. Yeah. On this, on this current route, maybe you've kind of spent all your, your, your headings on this one. Okay. I've spent my opinions on this one. Now you say, oh, don't know. Just kidding. Some kind of.

I always pet to put my stupid pass up there. Like whatever, you know, if you're driving like on the interstate or whatever, you got your stupid little pass thing or your parking pass or, yeah. Do I have to be more specific? Pass. Nope, that's good enough. All right, right, right, right. Okay.

Show me a pass. Make a pass at Brian Dunaway. Oh, my God. Number nine. Well, it's on the ticket thing, man. It says to put on your dashboard. It does. It does. It's like, you know, that's how they know to charge you. Oh, my God.

24 points for Brian to Scott's 11, but still not. I really want that, I still want that first one. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Thanks a lot of something you find on the dashboard of a car. Gloves? You put those in the glove box. Well, is that a thing? I don't know. I mean, I put my gloves on the dashboard and a little...

Gloves. Okay. All right. Show me... Gloves. Show me gloves. So freaking stupid. Backgum it. All right.

Part of me wants to say confessional, but I'm not going. Sure. I don't feel safe with that at all. Although this is one of the weirdest answer lists I can't believe it. Yeah, this is such a wild spectrum of things I did not. The fact, this has to be the longest you've ever gotten without giving the number one answer. I feel like it has to be. It has to be.

It's got to be close anyway. I really want the number one answer. So let's see. What would be number one? Carpet? Leather? Plastic? Dashboard.

You put on your dashboard. Fuzzy dice? Oh, that's not a dash brush. You're freaking, if that's up there, I'm going to kick somebody. That's a rearview mirror. I know it is. I know. But I'm telling you, like, sometimes the camera or the phone things are also on the glass, so I don't know.

Like, who knows what they said. So let's save fuzzy dice. Fuzzy dice? All right. Show me Fuzzy Dice. Squitchy wins. Yeah. Let's see.

Fuzzy Dice didn't make the list. Am I going to groan when you say number one? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you will. I'm just going to go ahead and say it right now. Show me number one. Dust.

Oh, my gosh, dude. You guys are such jerks. Look at how many, like, a full sixth of the respondents said dust. Guys are jerks. And a lot of people in the chat room yelled dust as well. Did they? Jerks.

Yeah. Now, I separated this out from Bobbohead because it is a very different thing. Is it the Jesus? It's not Buddy Jesus or something like that, is it? Buddy Jesus. Well, let's look and see.

It's definitely Buddy Jesus. Number four. That's the reason why I didn't go to Hulu Dancer. I thought Bobba Head was like as popular. That's a, she's a Bobble waist because the top half of her body goes. No, this is a true. technicality. I'm okay with it.

So 36. 36 of our people thought that was the, to them, was the number one answer. Yeah. You know what? If you would have asked me, that's what I would have said. A lot of people, a lot of people who know me and know the cover mobile said,

or stitch, because I have a hula dancing stitch. Oh, yeah. Did we get that in the seven or eight slot, maybe? No, it didn't make it up there. I'm going to go to eight because it's really close to that. And you just kind of said it. Oh, yeah.

People love having a little. The buddy Jesus is the best one. I don't care if it rains or free as long as I got my plastic Jesus. And when you say take the wheel, he's right there and just grab the wheel. He could just reach over. It doesn't have to switch seats. One person did say Hula Jesus. So good answer for them.

That fantastic combo. Number seven. Which one did you put it in, though, for the Hula Jesus? I left it separate. Okay. Because I wanted to commemorate this moment. Number seven, never even got brought up, but what else do you put in the glove compartment besides gloves? You put your sunglasses.

Sometimes those end up on the dashboard as well. Don't put those on your dashboard. Well, if you have one of those little cubby slots that kind of recesses in, you might be able to do that for a while. Yeah. Okay. And I can tell how many of the tadpoolers drive jeeps. Oh, just ducks. Christ.

Ducks. Yeah. Nobody said Christ to duck, though. Christ duck. Oh, man. Jesus duck. Duck. But boy, if you made

a Hoola Jesus duck with a wiggles, plumbles back and forth, yeah, that is a killer product. Flying off the shelf is what those are. Off the shelves. Other things include cracked plastic from the sun's heat. People, this was my

favorite answer, so I made it all of them, but people talking about the giant screens that you now have in your dashboard. It's a bloody iPad now, is what somebody put. I decided, yep, that's good. parking ticket check engine light compass tissues airbag sat nav British air freshener

Buddha Chewing gum coins condoms Who's leaving chewing gum on their dashboard? You must live in a very cold place with no sun yeah who are those people Let's see license plate If you don't have a place to put it you can legally put one on your dashboard to temporarily temporarily you don't have a way to attach it to the front of your trip.

Oh, I do like 30 days or something. Yeah, but you better be on your way to get, uh, get something to put it up there. Uh, roach clip, okay. Sweet grass or sage, uh, troll doll. And finally, your mom. Your mom.

Nice, nice. Put your mom on the dash. That's right. Tell her to take the wheel. Uh, well, I love it. This is a good news for squishy. Um, if it is squishy, twitchy in our chat, congratulations.

I don't know if it is. You'll notice if it's, if you see a pop and, uh, if you don't get it. DM, you'll know it's not you. Yep, you'll know. But also, that doesn't mean our loser is going away empty-handed. No, so here's what Squishie's getting.

He's getting a copy of Damon X. Macchina. Awesome game. Machina. And NeoCab. Drive around, like Keanu Reeves. Also, awesome game. It's like a, it's mostly story, but you're in this like cyberpunk future and you're and you talk to your writers.

And you solve stories and mysteries and relationships. I can't I can't recommend that one. That one's really fun. Taxi cab confessions, basically. Yeah, I think you'd like it in it. It's got a great vibe. Probably would.

And then Squishy, I'm sorry, Zerick Envy, you're getting a copy of Ever After Falls. I don't know that game, but I'll bet it's great, I'm sure. Cool. Everyone will envy Zerick for that. It sounds like a 90s drama on ABC.

Ever After Falls. Coming up on Ever After Falls. And then on Friday. Because usually it's like, tonight on the wacky comedy, So-and-so does a thing with the stuff. And then later on ever after fall. Switch it up.

I used to look at the closet. Not without my daughter. All right. That's it for that. That means done away's out of here. However, we would be remiss if we didn't mention that he and I are getting together tonight at 4 p.m. to do a play retro and then right on top of that, a watch retro right after. So it holds nights of entertainments. Yeah, Jeff Worse, Jim and I tonight is going to be great.

Some more mighty four box. be fun. Yeah, we're working our way through Mighty Orbots and also two newbies will be part of the lineup. And I'll tell you what. Some Betty Boop even. I like Susie Orbot. You know, I watch her show every once in a while. She's great.

She's very good. She's a mighty or bot. Yeah. She's more mighty than this thing. I can promise that. Anyway, I can't wait. I know Dono way can't wait. One final thing to say to him is kiss our butts.

Bye now. All right. All right. Boom. Out the door. Out the door. To be heard from no more. Well, that's not true. Later, skater. Alligator. All right. Guess what, guys? It's time for this.

Isn't technology wonderful? Well, I'll tell you this. It sure can be when the one, the only Tom Merritt, joins us here on the show. Hello, Tom Merritt. How are you? Well, hello, I, well, I'm a Tom Merritt. Oh, yes. Your Thomas the Tech Engine is what you are. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Why isn't that a thing we've heard or said before? That's an amazing. Thomas the tech engineer. There's something, there's some way of doing this. It promises something a little cuter that I'm able to deliver would be my only concern. But otherwise, I love it. All right. A little workshop, we can figure it out.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe I can become a V-Tuber and just, you know, be a cartoon. Let's do it. Yeah, I'm in. Are you excited about the leftovers from the Cats Eye reality show now being assembled into a band called St. Sateen? Yeah, so I'm not sure about the name, but those names are always weird. You get used to them.

And I did not like the song that they did. Yeah, the party tomorrow before the party or whatever it's called. They did a great job with it. But the song, Eileen and I were like, they need a better song than that's right. Is it somebody else's a song and they're just doing a cover? It's one of those like, it was a reality show, a competition show. The final song of competition shows generally aren't that great because they're not going to give their best song at the end of competition. Who remembers a moment like this from the first, the first, the first,

a season of American Idol. Although relevant to this, Katzai's debut was from the show, and it was great. Yeah, that was a good song, yeah. That is the exception that proves the wrong way. Where is this show? Is that a thing people can see readily? It was aired in Japan.

The one that did Katzai, though, which is called Popstar Academy on Netflix, is great. It really is, it's fascinating, and it shows you the process. Obviously, gamified or reality showified for audiences, but probably a majority of like the pairing down and the constant, you know, everybody living in a house and everybody has to learn how to dance

for 12 hours and sing for 12 hours and all that stuff. It's, it is an amazing show and it's really, really good. You would recommend, eh? All right. I would absolutely, as a matter of fact, I did. Yeah, pretty sure you recommendal that entire show. I did indeed. Well, Tom, let's get to our tech question of the week. Tom comes on here on Wednesdays, we answer your hard trick question. I assume it's about Cat's Eyes new tour, but land on it totally is. Yeah. This guy named Kurt wrote in about the Cat's Eyes tour, and he says this.

When are they coming to Schenectady? He says, hi, Tom. What are your recommendations for dumb phones? I can get more kids when they're ready for cell phones. Stupid phones. Stupid phones. He put in quotes, and obviously means, you know, phones that are less connected, whatever. Do you see manufacturers moving in this direction at all,

for those or of us concerned about privacy or just wanting something simple that can call or text without all that other stuff. Thanks. Kurt, it's funny that this is coming up because my daughter has this exact same question right now. And still too young for a phone. He's seven. But she's thinking ahead of like, what even is an option for me when he's of age? And by then maybe, you know, if she's going to wait until he's 12, things change fast and who knows. Definitely. But if it was today, like what would she even do? She really had no idea. So, thoughts, Tom. What do people do when they wanted those phone? Was it like, not cricket, but it was like a little phone, like it just had three buttons on it. Call mom, call dad, emergency. And it was like, that's the only thing it could do was those three. That's pretty cool. It was the dumbest of the dumb phones. Yeah, yeah. For some reason, I'm thinking grasshopper or something. Great for seniors and kids. Yeah, yeah. Kind of. Anyway, go ahead. No, I'm trying to remember the name. It was grasshopper or so. It was some bug. You're right.

Yeah. Yeah. These days, apparently, Gab, G-A-B-B-B-B-B-A-R-K, are both popular phones that have limited functionality. So they can call, they can text, and there is a limited number of parent-approved apps you can add to them, or you can not add any apps to them. It's up to the parents to make sure they get on there. But it keeps the kids connected. And the reason I think it has apps is you can put a couple of educational games on there for them or something like that. very limited app store though. It's not like it's

Google Play unless you go at jail break it, which I assume you could. Right. But yeah, those I have not tried, I cannot vouch for, but they are quite popular and decently reviewed by people. There's also a gab watch, so the people who make the phone also

make a watch. There's a watch called Gizmo, that is very popular. I throw all these out there because he said, is there anything? Isn't somebody going to make something? And the answer is, there are. There are options out there. I don't feel comfortable making a personal recommendation, but I know that these are very popular and they sell well, and they've been decently reviewed. So that's why I bring them up.

What I have found from the people I actually know is that they generally either just don't give their kid a phone until they're older and then just give them an iPhone and do parental controls on that. Some people do Samsung phones, which also have good parental controls, or they give them a watch. And a lot of times it's an Apple watch. Now, I know that that. That's a pricey proposition for a lot of folks, but your Apple Watch can do calls and texts, and it's very easy to lock down and doesn't have, you know, while it has apps that are connected to phones, if you just give your kid a watch with the cellular connection in it, it's really easy to reduce the apps so they only have limited functionality. And that way they can text you

and they can call you if they need to. But they're not carrying around a phone that, you know, and it's not a screen that they'll be looking at all the time. So that's from me talking to other parents, you know, that seems to be the most popular solution is to get them either that watch or like a Gizmo or a Gap watch. The Gap Watch, I forgot, Van actually has a Gap Watch. They got his grandparents on the other side, I think, got him one of those. And it was, the only problem with that is he would just forget to charge it all the time.

Yeah, yeah. So like it was dead. I mean, that's going to be a problem. problem with the phone. No matter what. Yeah. And Apple watch isn't going to get much better either, right? Like you're going to, you're going to need to kind of keep on top of that and keep the charger where people remember where it is and all that sort of stuff. But that's just, you know, part of kids getting responsible for their stuff. So, and he liked it. It was great. It had good sound. He'd call me sometimes. Yeah. I'd be like, hey, pops. I go, hey, buddy, what's going on? That's nice.

Oh, I'm just screwing around with my watch. And what it does is it's... I just butt dialed you by sitting on my hand. It solves that, that desire they have, though, for let me have a little, let me have a gadget that's useful and, and they, they get that kick out of it without sending them down, like, the internet rabbit hole you're trying to avoid. So they get the, they get the initial, like, it's almost out of his system now. Yeah, right. He's like, sort of like, oh, yeah, my watch, I don't know where it is now. But he, but he got the thing out of it that, that, that they think they want. And instead of giving them a full featured phone with full internet access, and no parental controls.

You just, you, you know, they got their dopamine from a little thing that was pretty safe. So, yeah, these are, these are pretty good. I didn't realize they made a phone. So this is, this is good. I can tell Taylor, hey, you liked the Gab watch. You could upgrade to the Gab phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got refurbs on here.

And, oh, they got a music service, Gab, Gab's, kids safe music streaming. Yeah, it's cute. Oh, and they have that for Andrew, or Andrew, Android and iOS have a version of that as well. That's cool. That's cool. I didn't know. Oh, you can get the game. Gab music app on other phones.

Yeah, and get on other phones. I didn't even notice that. That's cool. So we want to crank that up in your car and you got your kid in there and you want Disney all day. You just want kid safe music. You could just get the Gab music app. Yeah. They've got Disney in here.

They got, I don't know what new arrivals are. Oh, that's a new songs. This hot new band called New Music. New Arrivals. Check it out, old man. Yeah. There's some of the best new hot hits you've heard from New Arrivals. Tom Merritt, it's a great question, great answer.

And Kurt, anyone else out there like Kurt who wants to ask these kind of questions, keep them flowing into the show. The morning stream at gmail.com. We'd be happy to have Tom answer them when it comes on Wednesdays. Tom, anything going on right now you would like to talk about before we go? I have a newsletter, freetomnewsletter.com. Haven't mentioned it in a while. The most recent edition of it, I basically solved the problem with automation replacing our job. I mean, I don't want to brag, but...

Whoa, this is a big nut to crack. You've cracked it? Is that what you're saying? Well, let's just say, I'm over-promising a little bit. But, no, what I did write up is cloud flare is the canary in the coal mine. And so if you want to know which way we're going, because the way that I hope we go, and the way that we very much could go, is that automation creates as many jobs as it replaces. And the historical point that backs that up is when we got rid of pools of secretaries, because computers made it unnecessary to do all that typing, we added project managers and product managers. And if you recall, there were not, you know, crowds of angry secretaries and typists in the streets.

Instead, we made a pretty smooth transition. The opposite end is when we, you know, did the Industrial Revolution and brought it. in factories, all the workers that got thrown out of work because of automation at that point went and, you know, threw their wooden shoes into stuff and caused a lot of disruption. That's the other way we could go. I hope we don't go that way. But the article that I wrote on Friday on Freetown Newsletter is what I think is a canary in the coal mine to watch.

Cloudflare made a promise. And if it's able to deliver on that promise, it even gave us a deadline, then I feel pretty good that we're headed in the direction that is a smooth transition. And if they don't, then I get worried. So check that out at Free Tom Newsletter. I'm going to go read this. This sounds great. I like your writing in general, but this sounds like you may have solved a giant issue that we've all been dealing with, you know? I mean, it's at least something to watch, you know, and that gives you something more than just like, I don't know what's going to happen. No, I like that. Let's have some other voices out there that aren't just doom and gloom. It is Tom Merritt. He is Ace Detect on

all the socials and he will be at Nerdtacular 2026. That's right. Yes. I have been practicing my karaoke. Oh, good. You're going to need it, buddy. Just kidding. I don't even know if I'm singing or not. Have a good one. We'll see you soon. All right. Brian Ibitt. We're at the point of the show or I read an email. Oh, let's hear it. Yes, this email right here.

Whoops. This is about the jugs of pee. This is from Robert and Hender Tucky. We hear from him time to time, like hearing from Robert. morning Scott and Brian he didn't even do a weird name for us no he didn't just kept it straight yeah we don't require it it's fine you guys can do whatever you want says on yesterday's show during tabooly feud Brian mentioned narthex

and jokingly said it's a con well actually Brian Nathex con is a real thing he probably means and he probably means narthex con but maybe not I don't know there yeah well he did it at top and then not there yeah and then not there yeah

I think he does NARthx con is a real real thing. I was at the inaugural one in 2019. It's a listener con for podcast similar to nerdtacular. James Kennison from the Nobody's Listening Network hosts it. Not just that. Scott in 2008, I believe you were a guest on his show. I was actually. I was on there once a long time ago. You told the story about the time you had to give a urine sample as a kid and you couldn't figure out how to turn the light on the bathroom. Yep. I thought I saw another kid in there, but it was me on a wall mirror. I was talking to myself. I was like, oh,

It's so embarrassing in here. Can't believe we have to give a pee sample? Oh, man. Where's the light? And the kid wouldn't answer? He just stared at me. He just stared at you. Where he said the same things, you and you're like, oh, sorry.

No, you go ahead. You go ahead. And I turn on the light and I'm like, it's me the whole time. I was eight. You know, when you're eight, you're eight. That's funny. He says, anyway, it's a small world. Robert from Hendertieck.

Yeah, man. That's crazy. I didn't know it was a real con though. No, I had no idea. That's really funny that, you know, I mean, it was, it was presented the the the um round was presented as things in a cathedral parts of a cathedral um and clearly podcasting really doesn't have that much to do with cathedrals or at least not directly enough to name a con after it so i just like the fact that it's called narthex narthex narthex

northex if you if you had a particular meaning there yeah but also nathex and narthex i'm still not convinced there aren't two different things. I don't know. I'm pretty, I just looking it up, but it's an Arthex. He just had a little typo. Ah, gotcha. Sounds good to me. Yeah.

All right, that's going to do it. If you want to send your messages in, go to the website, use all the ways to do it. There's email, there's text, there's voicemail, and more. Find it today at frogpants.com. Slash TMS, like I mentioned earlier, play retro and watch retro tonight, starting at 4 p.m. Mountain Time right here on the Twitch channel.

So please tune in and check that out. And a reminder to those, really the only people this affects are people who listen to YouTube music's version of the podcatcher they use. This is the only people this affects. If you watch YouTube, you'll still get them where you get them. Nothing changes.

We have a new channel, though. We'd love you to go over there and sub to it, even if you're just watching. Because eventually we will stop the crossover. We want to build out the TMS channel. However, we're not doing that too super fast. And if you're a listener, you're like, where are these new episodes? It's easy. Go to YouTube.com slash at the morning stream show.

That's it. And it's all linked on the website now. There's a thing in the old feed that will tell you this. I just want to make sure nobody's confused. Just go over there and get it. All right. That's it for us. Brian, let's play a song.

Let's play a song. Sure. And I'll tell folks that a brand new episode of Lost Luggage went up this morning. So lost luggage show.com or in your pod feed catcher program um, a sproaker of choice. You can get it there. Nice. There you go.

Uh, let's go to another indie at the end today. I teased about this that, um, uh, that you were going to get some jazz this week. You're getting it today. A band called love BB. They've got a common there, but don't think you need it. Love comma BB. Brooklyn based jazz project that has a brand new single. This is their first ever release.

And it's called Solitaire. Uh, the album is called a, uh, uh, Band from the past and this is kind of what it is like if you like the things like a postmodern Jukebox you like the stuff that kind of sounds like it is that that 60s Lounge 50s 60s lounge stuff This is so so good again the song is called Solitaire this is the first release from love BB Love's a game I just can't win I'll stick to

So It's a lonely game, it's true. At least the rules are fair. When I find it is bruised. Solitaire's the game I choose. Anytime you get the blues. Try solitaire, the game that you can't lose. It's about your neck dreams

Leave you stray You can find and play The door It's the time before It's production Find all our shows at frogpants.com Does not get in