The Morning Stream - TMS 3009: Articulatey Fingers

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

The Squirrel Reach-Around. Boxed Wine. This is about the Panther Pee. Wrapped In Plastic Gummy Bear. Amy, Michael, Janet... and the rest! Breasts involved, but not in a fun way. Entropy, Philanthropy and Phil Panther Pee. Scott eats raw chicken and 2 grapes. Ant Protein Gummy. Stripping or Malfunction? The Travesty of Traverse City. Female bag of holding. That Joke Is Geriatic. I'll do it for $20. Pulling a Double Johnson with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To stay in shape, J. Edgar Hoover met with a group of officials every morning at 7 a.m. on the White House lawn to play Hoover Ball, a game involving throwing a heavy medicine ball over a net and included a ball. Think about that when you support TMS today at patreon.com slash TMS. Coming up on the morning stream, the squirrel reach around. Boxed wine. This is about the panther pee. Wrapped in plastic gummy bear. Amy, Michael, Janet, and the rest.

Breasts involved, but not in a fun way. Entropy, philanthropy, Philpanthropy. Scott eats raw chicken and two grapes. Ant Protein Gummy. Stripping for malfunction. The travesty of Traverse City. Female bag of holding.

That joke is geriatric. I'd do it for 20 bucks. Pulling a double Johnson with Wendy and more on this episode of the morning stream. Up to now, only one man had seen the bird and lived. Among those who knew of it, panic, terror, and horror. I'm sorry for my... lack of manners. The morning stream.

It's only the thing on my nose and the hairpiece. Everything else is fine. Hello, everybody, and welcome to TMS. This is the morning stream for May 14th, 2026. I'm Scott Johnson. That's Brian. Hi, Brian. Hello.

Hey, man. Hello. Hey man. Listen, people who don't get the pre-show, you really should check it. Yeah, a lot of great information here. And really a plea for help from me about a disturbance I'm trying to have dealt with. So if you're not a patron, you can become a patron and hear what my plea is, what my need is for assistance. All you get is that little hint.

And the rest is just waiting for you on the other side of like a dollar. Yeah. A dollar. A dollar. That's all we ask a dollar. It's just a dollar. I'd pay that. I'd buy that for a dollar. Hey, everybody, it's good to see you all. We got a lot of stuff going on. I have, you know, my, my accidental overdose thing that I did. Yes. Yes. How you feeling? Kind of just weak and lame. It's almost like you're just getting over an illness or something. That's how it feels. And that'll probably be better over the next few days. Today's definitely better than yesterday. But I ended up eating, let's just say yesterday's menu. sucked ass. Here's what I had.

A piece of toast. Not even that good of toast. I think it's starting to turn that loaf. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, no, really? It just had a little bit of that dirt taste, you know? Oh, God. Okay.

Or maybe I'm sensitive to it. I don't know. A little piece of chicken. Nothing on it. No, you know, not salted up, spiced up, nothing. Just a little piece of raw, not raw, but cooked chicken. A little piece of raw chicken. Yeah.

What could go wrong? What could go wrong there? Two grapes. Literally two. That's funny. And a load of water, tons of water. I went through like, I don't know, 12 of these. Yeah. So I'm fine. It's just, you know, I feel weak and lame and dumb. Yeah. Are you feeling better today? Like you could eat something more substantial? Yeah, I think so. I think I'm going to try to. I know you're saying like it could be a week before. Could take, yeah, four or five days, something like that. Yeah. I got to eat some today, though. I got a marathon court coming up and I got to like, if I don't eat something. something before the show. I'm going to pass on. Yeah, you're going to start hallucinating. Yeah, it's losing. Wait, I'm going to look like Jonah Hill on five minutes if I don't cut this out. You see those pictures of him lately? My gosh. Yeah. He's unrecognizable. I don't know who that is. He is unrecognizable. Any, uh, it's done something also to, what do we see him on? Those like, Jonah Hill is just perpetually happy and excited. And we just saw him on something like he was on some

it wasn't celebrity jeopardy oh help me out here what did I just see uh I don't know something brand new something something new in the last and it wasn't you know wasn't a reality show right because he's not he's not a survivor contestant um

I don't know what that was called it's like some kind of stream thing or regular TV regular TV he was uh was an SNL was he on SNL recently like with some with some host that he's a friend of. I could see that. Here he is, by the way, comparison shot now versus before.

I mean, look how thin. Wow. Okay. Really thin. Yeah. It's a certain song I want to sing when I see that much thinness for that quickly. And it goes like this. Oh, oh, oh, Zambik.

That's probably what's helping him. And that's great, whatever. He's probably living an unhealthy, you know, thing. But, yeah. Listen, I'll confess right now. I have been on We Govi for one week. Oh, how's that going? How's that going for you?

Doing nothing so far. I'm on the very low dose that's, I'm on the low dose that basically is, is, let's find out how if there's any gastro issues that you're going to encounter. Let's see if we can find out if you're going to have any of those. So far, no problems there. But the dose is so low, I'm not seeing like the hunger maintenance issues or the, the, feeling satisfied, that sort of thing. You just take four times the amount you're supposed to, and you'll do great.

This is the advice from you is a really great idea. Yeah, definitely take my doctor's thinking that my doctor's thinking that the sleep issues that I'm having are because of the, because my apnea is at a level where the CPAP can only do so much and it's waking me up, it's making it hard for me to stay asleep. so, you know, it's, it's, let's see if that helps things. I'm not, and the problem is, is that I don't qualify for a prescription. So he's like, yep, here's how we can get it for you the cheapest way. And so I'm doing the pills and I'm doing the, the, the Costco deal, the Costco member price.

Oh, they have pills for that? They do. Yeah, Wigovie is, I think Wigovie might be the only one so far that has pills. The other two are shots only. Yeah, they're all injectables. And, yeah. What's the Madura, Madura? Madura.

Madura. Madura. Madurna is the vaccine. Wait, who's the, Manjaro? Manjaro. Madura is the vaccine. Madura is the former president of Argentina before we kicked it out. Maduro, yes. Correct.

Yes. Madurna is the vaccine. So Zepbound and Ozimpec. But yeah. Yeah. So who knows? I mean, you know, listen, the losing weight is a nice side effect. The getting sleep is kind of the goal here.

Well, yeah, it's like me. Mine's all about sugar control. Five hours. Yeah, exactly. If I lose weight, hey, bonus. Yeah. Sweet. But I'd rather, it's all about, you know,

I don't want to fall over dead from stuff too early in my life, you know. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, there you go. I got a test question for you. It's very quick and very visual. Ask away, yes. And we're going to see how you're going to do here. So you're going to know what this object is.

You've probably had them before. It's one of my, when I was eating candy is one of my favorite candies. Oh, sure. A gummy bear. Yes. And in this case, a cinnamon bear. It's like a wrapped cinnamon bear for those who aren't listening. And individually wrapped cinnamon bear.

I didn't realize that the effort and cost of individually wrapping one cinnamon gummy bear feels counterproductive. Yeah, I wonder how, yeah. I mean, I know that's just. Unless that's huge. Unless that's one of those from like the, it's sugar places in Vegas where you get, you know, a life-sized gummy bear kind of thing. Can you imagine, dude?

Yeah. I can't because I've seen those stupid, those stupid like blue and white snakes or sharks or something that are massive gummy bears. And listen, I've had gummy bears that have set out for maybe a day and they're like leather. I can't imagine how long you, you know,

what do you have to do to that thing to keep it from staling out? Yeah. They're horrendous. I'm pretty sure it was a giant gummy bear that gave What's his mustache, the diabetes. I think that's what you got it. First he said, I can smell them. I can smell them.

And then he ate and he got the diabetes. Oh, his role in that movie. That is such a dumb role. I love that movie. I love Hard Target. But my gosh. Yeah. Well, you know, hey, let's call what's his beak,

make him be a backwoods freaking Cajun man with an accent. Yeah. Terrible. Brimley deserved better. He could have just been a redneck. Why'd you have to make him a Cajun? I don't know.

Right. Right. Yeah. Movies awesome. Oh, well. Anyway, so here you go. Here's your deal. There's that.

Now, I want to know, here's the big reveal. I want to know how much money it would take for you to eat this version of that. Oh. What would it take for Brian to... Oh, my God. That is literally, by the way, the same bear unwrapped and left on the... Really? Okay.

Did you take this picture? No. No, I found this online. Somebody was trying to show how they could get ants or whatever. Wow. You want ants? This is how you get ants. Are those...

Those look like black ants. I think they're black ants. I don't think they're red ants. Yeah. So that's a plus. I mean, there's, you know, their ants are edible. source of protein and if you you basically you pop that thing in your mouth and you just chew furiously because you don't want to swallow a live ant right so as the pink as the pink panther

once taught us the only aunt you want to eat is that dead ant dead aunt dead aunt did that oh i haven't heard that in a hundred years is that an old joke or what's an old one i like it though so if you so what's your limit like 10 bucks that there's no way you're doing it for 10 no way not even not even for like we're talking, we have to get into the, uh, we have to get into the thousands. And I'm thinking, look at all those geez. I know. That's nasty. And we're just seeing the front side. Yeah. Um, I'm thinking $30,000. Oh. Wow. That's higher than I thought. I would, I think I could do it for 20. That's really, you know, between 20,000, 30,000 doesn't feel like there's a whole, a huge amount of it. I know there's $10,000. There's $10,000. Yeah.

But once you get over into that first 10,000, it does feel like, oh, well, 40, no, I'm thinking more 35. Yeah. It's starting negotiating in your own head about, it gets a little nitpicky. But I don't know. I think I think I could do it. I don't think I couldn't do it for less than that, though. With ants like that? Yeah.

My brother could do it for nothing. He'd do it for zero dollars. Really? Yeah. I mean, I probably would do it for 20,000. Really, if he came down to it, do it for 20,000. But I don't think I'd do it for, I don't think I'd do it for 10. I think it would have to be, you know, we'd have to be talking, let's pay off the rest of the house kind of thing.

Or at least make a huge dent in the mortgage kind of thing. It'd have to be like, maybe if I was in a really, not desperate, just the right mood. Like, okay, let's put it this way. Like drunk? Because that's the mood I'd have to be. Yeah, there you go. I might have to be, you know, high or drunk to do it. Yeah.

And I'm doing, I'm doing if it's black ants. I don't think if they're red ants, the price goes way up. Oh, yeah, we're not dead. Yeah, they're going to bite you on the way down. They're going to bite you. They're fire ants or whatever. I mean, red ants for whatever reason are jerks. Now, if that was covered in bees, I don't know that my price could go high.

I don't think they could pay it. No, that's an area of my body that I don't want to get stung is the inside of my mouth. Oh, plus they're big and. kind of bigger, juicier. The furry ones like the bumblebees. Yeah, it's like a texture problem too. Yeah. Or if it's like those big Japanese, they're big enough, they don't only be two on

there. Oh, what, the hissing cockroaches or something? Are you still talking to the Japanese bees? Those Japanese hornets, the ones that are like that long. Oh, yeah, murder hornets. Horrible those things. Yeah, no. No, I mean, boy, if it turns into wasps or hornets or something, yellow jackets, out. I'm out. There's no,

not even an amount of money. All right. me if you had a live scorpion and a um let's see i'm not doing a live scorpion at all just because of the stinger on that that's off the table again that's in my mouth that stinger you know regardless of the fact that whether it stings me or not that venom gets into my body because i'm eating the scorpion well what if it was a venomless scorpion those do a venomless scorpion yeah okay maybe do it what would you pay for that that's or what would they pay you we're going yeah i wouldn't pay we're going up we're maybe hitting 50,000 75,000 I think yeah I think that's about right for me yeah yeah I don't have to do it all in one bite right so like no I mean it's really you'd want to maybe right it's gonna be a cinnamon gummy bear sitting on a scorpion it's not gonna be a the cinnamon bear covered with little scorpion that's true although imagine it like hugging the gummy bear like he's wrapped around him good keep him occupied yeah keeping busy because I'm I think I'm having to start by biting his head off so that the rest of the

of it goes down easier. I'm going to have to Ozzie that shit. Yeah. I can't do bugs, man. Like people want to, people are always like, what's the grossest thing in Temple of Doom? And it's no, it's not the room with all the bugs. I don't like that, but it's not the thing that grosses me out. Grosses me out is the guy eating out of a, out of a, uh, chilled monkey brains.

No, it's the, it's the, it's the same dinner. Oh, the beetle. It's the, the beetle. So disgusting, dude. Isn't it, isn't it? disgusting when when because you know that's all fake Hollywood food and stuff like that but first movie belloc is uh you know uh uh is got he's got he's got what he's got what he's got what's got what he's got what he's got what he's got a bazaucca or something doesn't he? Oh,

a bazooka point out. He's right. He's going to blow it sky high. And uh, and uh, You know, Belloc's like, you want to see what's in there as much as I do, don't you? And he's like, oh, it belongs in the museum. Yeah. But as Billox talking, a fly flies into his mouth. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot about that. That's disgusting because, A, it's real.

B, they left the take in there. They left the take in there. It's like, like, the French just doesn't care. They don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think, do you think Spielberg and Lucas like looked at each other, each other and said, I think we've got our take.

Yeah. That's pretty good. I couldn't have read a script that good. That's pretty great. Yeah, that's wild. He didn't break. He didn't break. He'd go,

yeah. It is, do you possess, once again, I take what you possess. I mean, you got to admire the guy's commitment. Keep going,

even if there's a freaking fly in your mouth, I guess. You know, so he was never asked to do any romantic scenes with anybody in any movies after that. No, just as pervy looking at the mirror thing when what's her name was changing. Other than that. I think we got Karen Allen's side boob that day, didn't we?

We probably did, yeah. I remember as a kid going. Or certainly backside boob, if that makes sense. Like, you know, there's a perspective thing. Perspective thing. Boy, I had forgotten about a freaking AMC plus in their lax rules with what they can show during Mad Men. because there's a lot of side boob action

and even some nipple exposure in Mad Men. Where did it originally air? What was the channel? AMC. It was always AMC? It was always AMC, yeah. So, wow. Yeah.

AMC original. I guess they've gotten looser of that stuff over time, too. Yeah. Like now they're, you can full-on drop F-bombs in those shows now. Yeah, yeah, now it's no big deal. FX, too, I think. It's like loosened up a little bit. All right, you guys.

Yeah. Time for some news. What do we got? A little bit of news. And we're going to share that news. And here comes the news. It's the news and it's brought to you by. Brought to you by Coverville airing right after this here morning stream episode over their Twitch.com.

Today, I'm making right a wrong. Right? I'm taking something that somebody did to slight a musician and I'm fixing it. I think it was her own choice though. Janet Jackson notably doesn't appear in the new Michael Jackson biopic entitled Michael. Like not even a mention of Janet. She just does not exist. She's Richie's brother in the happy days.

She's Richie's brother. Yeah, exactly. She's, we just don't even talk about, what was his name? Richard? No, no, it was Richard. I can't remember. Yeah. It was like Buddy or some shit like that.

Something. Yeah. But I haven't forgotten about Jenna Jackson and she is turning 60 this weekend. And so what a great time to do a Janet Jackson cover story. So of course you're going to hear covers of things like Control. What have you done for me lately? When I think of you, miss you much. That's the way love goes.

Let's wait a while. Escapade. I mean, these are great songs. And you're going to hear folks like Michelle Indicello, Broken Peach. Uh, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, of course, because, you know, they do a version of what have you done for me lately that feels like it's the original. And a little bonus song at the very end that's not a cover, but feels important because it's, uh, it's a song from Richard Thompson about Janet Jackson. Oh, okay. The great, the great Richard Thompson.

About her. That's interesting. About her. Yes. Okay. and referencing her Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. I was going to say one of the bonus parts of today's Coverville's Brian will be ripping off the left part of his shirt to expose his nipple. Well, Justin Timberlake's going to come over and do it. Oh, wow.

If I do it, it's stripping, but if he does it, it's a wardrobe malfunction. Yeah, yeah, that's what they called it back then. Yeah, yeah. What was her take on all that? Did she ever? Yes. Oh, my God, there was a documentary about it, and it was just heartbreaking because, you know, it was

Justin Timberlake walks out of there. They were both, you know, equally part of this thing, right? This, this, you know. The plan was, it was a plan, right? It was a plan, right? And there's, you know, it's never been fully answered on if it was intentional or not. I personally, I believe that it was meant to shock and that it was an intentional deal. Just based on the reactions afterwards.

However, she, like, she turned. turned into Hollywood poison or, you know, music industry poison and Justin Timberlake got off Scott Free. Yeah.

No pun intended. But, no. It's, you know, there's a great documentary about it. I recommend it.

I think it might just be called Janet or something. They like doing that with the music. Biopics and documentaries. They do. Just the first name. Yes,

exactly. Amy. Michael, Janet. Right. And the rest. Let me see if I can find the actual name of it Because yeah, it was like

I'd check that out It sounds like Oh recent-ish Yes Is that the one Yep there it is right there And it's called Janet Jackson Came on 2022

Um filmed over three years And it talks about her Relationship with Joe Jackson Her dad The death of her brother And the backlash from the Super Bowl Halftime show

All right. I'll check that out. Missy Elliott, Samuel L. Jackson, all providing information on this. It's really, it was really good. Yeah, it's just called Janet Jackson. And I don't know where it's streaming. Here it is. You can watch it on the Prime Video. Oh, all right.

Amazon Prime. Did it a Prime original? You know? It is a, I don't know if it's a Prime original. It doesn't have to be. Just curious. Yeah, I don't know. Like the Melania one?

that so many people saw it was a huge hit is my understanding oh so so it's such a huge hit that's what they say they say it was massive and that there's never been one like it right yes yeah i mean i don't know where all that money went or what happened or whatever but that's the claim you know look out oscars yeah it's coming your way quick uh all right there's here's a story for you what does that sound doing something. Oh, we have sprinkler people today. I think that's what's going on. Sprinkler people. Yeah, they're trying to, something's wrong with their stuff, so we had to hire somebody. Anyway, South Florida officers have sued Ben Affleck and Matt Damon claiming the details of the RIP movie that you and I saw for Filmsack. Yeah. Are too real.

Wow. They got it too right. Now they think something fishy's going on. So these two South Florida police officers, they are claiming Affleck and Damon in their recent action flow. Thriller, rather. The RIP used too many real-life details in its fictionalized narrative, causing harm to the officer's personal and professional reputations, according to a defamation suit. These dudes are named Jason Smith and Jonathan Santana. Not a black magic woman. That's right.

Everyone's why I like some Santana. Oh, who doesn't? So it's not just like, yeah, you know, this is too close to things that can happen. and this is too close to the things that happened to the two of us. Yeah. Yeah, they're claiming they were used as the models for this. Really? Okay. That it was all too close to the bone for it to be not that way,

and now they're going to sue. Both Affleck and Damon said when they were promoting the film, the story was loosely based on accounts from Miami-Dade Police Captain Chris Cassanio, or Cassini. Cassi, how is it? Cassiano. Looking for, oh, there it is. there, Cassiano.

Cassiano. Casiano. Who served as a technical advisor on the film. Damon told the Associated Press during January interview that he and Affleck spent time with him and other narcotics officers in preparation for the film. So really, they may want to be suing this Chris Casiano guy. Yeah, because he apparently was the one who gave him a bunch of details.

Yeah. I mean, I like the rip. I did too. Yeah, that was good. It's a cool premise. It's like a very believable. Clearly. Yeah.

Yeah. Basically, it's one of those, it made me want more of these projects. I like to, I know some people have beef with it for other, you know, whatever. But the idea that this was too close to them, like, they didn't use their names. Right. Maybe the case around it was similar, like gang stuff or cartel stuff. I thought that I'm thinking that it was actually, right, like it was too close to an actual specific event. How's that defamation then?

How do you defame that way? I don't know. Because if they don't use their names and it's just a story loosely based on a real one, it's not like everybody in their dog went, oh, this must be the, that deal with Dan and Dayton, or whatever his name was, Jason and Jonathan. It's them. I just know it. And they're not suing for like, well, we want some royalties because you used our story.

They want compensatory damages, punitive damages, and attorney fees. So it's like, you know, they're saying this has ruined their lives because people have seen the rip and said, is this what happened to you guys? Yeah, that's a weird, I don't think this case is going through. I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there. I'll bet it gets thrown out. Listen, I'm no illegal expert.

But I play one on TV. A Traverse City woman is accused of hiding stolen wine in a body cavity. Oh. Yeah. Traverse City. Where's Traverse City? Also, how big is this bottle? How many Pokemon trainers do I have to battle?

to get to Traverse City. I don't know where this is. This is, here we go. Up North News, that's hilarious, or Up North Live. I don't see it.

Michigan. Michigan? Okay. I wonder if Travis is familiar. The Tadpool supplies, just as I got it up here. Yeah, so I don't know if it's

Upper Peninsula or the lower section, but... This article refuses to say, China, by the way. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. They just won't. They say things like this Traverse City woman accused of stealing alcohol first by drinking it in the store and then hiding it in her body cavity.

Well, which one would that be? Yeah. A nostril? Ear maybe. Yeah, maybe it was her. It could be her bumhole. Belly button. I doubt it, though.

48-R-L was caught drinking a bottle of alcohol in the store. And then she was brought to Munson Medical Center for treatment. The next day, police said the one. went back to the same store and allegedly took a bottle of Chardonnay. Ploy's later stopped her but couldn't find the bottle of wine. And that is because it was up the hooter. Yep. That's where you do.

Like I'm trying to think. Hope it wasn't a magnum. Or Nebuchadnezzar. I got real questions about how big that bottle is. Yeah. You know, I think that'd be uncomfortable. Dangerous. Sure.

You know, it's glass. Well, if something broke or you bumped into a wall, I'm like, what are you going to do? Oh, geez. Yeah. I think I'd hold still and never move again. Did she practice on a white claw first? Get a can in there. Smearing off ice.

It sounds so awful and painful. It does. I wish they would have shown, listen, I don't necessarily want to see the bottle, but I want to see a bottle. I want to see the bottle size that she did this with. Yeah, they don't give us any of that. Yeah. Actually, you don't give us anything. Got a Traverse City police car.

Yeah. Oh, wow, look at that. Really shocking, shocking photo you supplied. I mean, not that I, you know, I don't need all the dirty details, but whatever. No, but I really appreciate the first, the, the, the comment that's got the most up votes, which. Do I want to say that? Oh, the one for my and Liam? Is that the one?

Yes, yes. Yeah, I probably won't say that. also everybody boy the comments in general are pretty out there here I'll type it in chat for folks there you go he went on later

the same guy says you're probably going to want to let that breathe a little bit yeah yeah this guy says it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallwink geez louis

this is TV Travis's town thinking I knew he was from Michigan, but I didn't realize he's actually, he lives in Traverse City. He lives in a place that sounds like Travis City. Yeah, TV's Traverse City. Shit. That's awesome. Yeah, I don't, we don't get a lot of other details, but Travis, if you could get out there and Yeah.

Could you at least get a picture of the wine bottle? Yeah. Yeah, or just let us know which brand or equivalent size wine bottle maybe. Who makes Chardonnays? That's not one brand. There's a bunch. No, no. It's a, yeah, it's a, it's a variety.

So many, many people make chardonnay. All right. It's a shardine up your... That is ironic, you know? It is ironic, yes, exactly. We finally got something ironic, Adamer. All right, let's move to this story. Is it erotic?

I mean, look, if you've got the space, you could use, you could use, you could, this is an, useful thing, right? Yeah. It's not just... I'm envious that women have a permanent bag of holding. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I don't think we're not talking, you know, infinite space, but more than I got, I got nothing. Yeah. Got nothing. I can hold a... Never mind. I'm not going to tell you what I can hold.

All right. That is the... There may be one cinnamon gummy bear, and that's it. And that's it. That might be all I can fit in there. And you'll all be happier that I did that. All right, guys, it's time. It's time for what you say?

It's time for this. Something wrong, Batman. Has anybody seen Wendy? Well, I sure have many times, but this time I see her virtually on the internet. Hello, Wendy, welcome to the show. Hello, welcome to having me. And welcome to having you is right. That's how you should look at life.

It's not, you know, the world should be thanking you. Yeah, thank you for welcoming me. Yeah, welcome to be welcome. Wendy and I are working on a little secret project right now that we're not going to tell anyone yet. But I just wanted to put it out there so people can chew on that for a while. Good. Johnson pulled, a double Johnson pulled. Double Johnson pulled. And you'll never know until we tell you.

Yeah, we'll never know. And if it doesn't happen, we aren't accountable. And then we're not going to tell you. Yeah. It looks like those shakeweight ads from the early 2000. Yeah. Double Johnson pulled. There you go.

Hey, I was also going to say, what was I going to say? I was going to say that, oh, Wendy's a licensed therapist. She helps real people with real problems all the time. And then when she comes on this show, slums it with us and helps you with yours. Today's no different. So we're going to dive right into that. We call it Therapy Thursday. Wendy, before we get into it, is there anything

that you wanted to bring to the table before we got right into the email? Before things get heavy. Yeah. No, let's dive in. All right, let's get heavy. Here goes. Scroll down, Scott. You had it up before. There it is. Dear Therapy Thursday crew, this, by the way, comes from our

very own Bobby Frankenberger. He said it's 100% fine that we say his name. So I'll give you guys a little insight and what's going on with him. He says, my wonderful wife, Stephanie, and I can concur, she's awesome. My partner, 17 years, was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It came out of nowhere. This was her first mammogram at 40, and they found a lump on a spot, and a spot, sorry. At first, no one seemed to be concerned because she has very dense breast tissue, but the results are back, and it is cancer. We're handling the news as well as we can. We're staying positive and hopeful.

It's early. We met with the surgeon on Monday and are waiting for a treatment plan, so we're taking things one day at a time. That's not the main reason I'm writing, though. I'm writing because we haven't told our kids yet. We want to wait until we had more information so we could avoid as many I don't know answers as possible, waiting until after we spoke to the surgeon felt right, but we also knew we should tell them before treatment begins, whether that's surgery or chemo. We have two daughters, ages 10 and 13.

We're especially concerned about our 13-year-old who already struggles with anxiety and depression and is in therapy. How do you tell your kids that their mom has? breast cancer signed Bobby. Well, um, I'm, you know,

Brian in 2017, your son was older, obviously. He was 20. Yep. But you kind of have, you guys were faced with a very similar situation. We were and we,

um, I'm trying to remember when we told him, um, when Tina and I talked about this because, you know, Bobby, uh, also had mentioned that he was going to be writing this email.

Yeah. Um, he talked to the two of us about it, obviously beforehand. And, you know, Tina's advice is I wouldn't say anything until after, definitely after speaking to the surgeon, but actually I wouldn't even do it until after a treatment plan is in place until we know like, all right, you're going to do chemo, you're going to do this, you're going to do that, because that eliminates the, the I don't knows that can cause more anxiety. If you're able to say, yep, turns out, you know, we've, we've gotten, we've gotten. a cancer diagnosis, and here's what we're going to be doing. Here's what the next few months are going to look like as opposed to the, yeah, we don't know.

We're waiting to find out. It's like you don't want to tell your kids that. And I think that that's what we probably did with Tristan as well, is that we didn't say anything until the plan was in place and we knew so that we could answer those questions. So, Wendy, everything they're saying, both the email and their decision. decision to wait until they know more and how Brian and Tina handled it. It sounds right to me. We should probably provide some nuance, though. What do you want to do with this one? Yeah. No, it's absolutely right. It's and Brian, maybe you could speak to it too, just like how,

I mean, Tristan was 20, but how did he handle it and did he have questions? Like, was it what you expected him, how he expected him to respond? It was. He's, he is an extremely sensitive kid, which, you know, comes from probably more Tina than me, really, if I'm being honest. But there were so many things that we didn't know the questions to ask. You know, like it wasn't until we went through it that we learned, all right, well, there's, you know, your different types of cancer, your triple negative, your, like the having to deal with the lymph nodes and that sort of thing. Then, of course, there's the different stages and then other things with.

within that, like the metastatic and things like that. So, you know, not knowing that those are questions to ask probably benefited him in not having another layer of things to have to ask and be worried about. But he, he obviously was, you know, extremely shocked by it. And he, but he saw that we both had a plan in place, that it was positive that, you know, we're like, you know, we're going to get through this and mom's strong. And this is how, this is how things are going to work. And, yeah, and Icor reminds me that, you know, Tina even used it, you know, with all this to say, we're really worried about your vaping and you need to stop so that we don't have to, you know,

hear about a diagnosis with you one of these days. And it worked really well. Did it? Yeah. Oh, brilliant. Double whammy. Yeah. So Bobby, if you've got anything that you want the kids to do.

Yeah. Play that card. But, yeah, but I mean, no, Tristan's sensitivity, we knew that we had to very carefully broach the subject and set it up. But we also knew we had to have a plan in place before we jumped in. Because it, and one thing, 20 is definitely different than 13, right? Yes. Oh, yeah. But it's a good example of what would make anyone be more at ease.

It works for children obviously as well. Everyone would ask a question or want to know more or what to expect, you know, all those things. So having that prepared is number one, your best bet. And then recognizing that the child with anxiety is going to be making up more stories in her head and feeling maybe a little more. And so fortunately, you've got maybe therapy in place, but to recognize that the vibe from you is really what the kids will rely on, more information the better. But it's not an intellectual process per se. It's more of a, oh, they seem to know what is happening. I can rely on my parents to know what's happening.

That's going to do wonders for younger kids. When they just feel the feelings and you haven't worked it out and they don't know what's going on, that's where they'll fill in the blank with imagination, right? They'll fill in the blank with something's wrong. I don't know what it is. So the sooner you have answers, which is, of course, not up to you, how quickly you get answers. But the sooner you have answers that you can formulate into how do we talk about it, or how can we tell the girls what's happening and what to expect?

That's the best thing. The core thing, though, is that you're expressing that, you know, you don't have to say everything's going to be okay per se. if you don't feel that, right? But a real strong sense of we're still the parents and you are the kid. And so, you know, we will answer any of your questions and, you know, make you feel safe along the way.

But this is what we are doing, right? They need to have that sense that they are not in charge of something suddenly. I mean, I do love the flip on Tristan, so you've got to stop vaping because that is something he actually was responsible for. Right? Yes.

Whereas a kid doesn't have any responsibilities for this scary situation. So I know that there are groups and support groups that exist and there's some really good stuff online you can find to sort of, you know, have some of these moments go better than others. But working with your daughter's therapist, probably Bobby is going to be important to just, you know, so they, that person also is aware this is happening, have a, you know, a schedule, a session scheduled a couple of days. after or something so that processing and, you know, that nothing stays stuck internally is

the goal here. And I don't know any more information than what he put in that email. And so it's hard to know. And cancer is so scary. Yeah. They're in that stage where it feels this is the part that I remember just frustrating the hell out of me because we got the diagnosis. and then it's like, okay, well, we're going to have you meet with the surgeon for the lumpectomy.

That'll be in about three weeks, month. Tina's diagnosis was like December 1st, and her first surgery was three weeks later on December 22nd. And it was like those three weeks felt like I was the most impatient I'd ever been. I've ordered things from Apple that cost, you know, a thousand bucks. And waiting for those things to arrive was nothing. compared to like why can't this process go faster? It's the whole hurry up and wait thing. Yeah, there really is.

It really is. And you know, you're the husband. You want to be immediately like, get this thing out of my wife. What are you doing? What's what's the holdup? Who do I have to talk to to to get moved up to the top of the list? But yeah, there's a there's a process for all this. And it's so it takes as long as it takes,

and yeah but boy the background of your microphones sound wonderful I swear they do they don't make any sounds till it's time for this phone until they're on to leave

I like it it's chilling me out I like it oh it's fantastic yeah they're not fighting we do have a Robin that always builds her nest

under our deck and every time we go outside she flies to a tree and just yells out of just yells out yeah birds man they're protecting

you promise we won't touch you just come back. Anyway, one thing that I, just to note that's really helpful, I think, is this, like, you are in your own state of turmoil and grief and difficulty, and we don't know answers. And, you know, a lot of people survive breast cancer now in ways that, you know, before it felt like a death sentence. And so now, I mean, I had three friends have breast cancer last year. And everyone is doing great. And you're like, oh, are we good with breast cancer now? You know? And then the reality is that's not always true. And, you know, it is just up and down. So as a human being with your partner

in this situation and her feelings and you two need to have a chance to feel whatever you're feeling, to talk about it, to safely process and not 100% be, this is all, we got to make sure the kids are okay. So the best way to do that is have your own space and time to do that. Maybe whether kids are at school or, you know, a weekend away or whatever the things you're needing to do so that it's not leaking in other places. And then there's a balance. Because back in the day, it was like, tell your kids nothing. We don't want to burden the children. And that sentiment is correct. It's just the application was way too drastic. And what kids would do is they would feel it. They would see it. They would have a sense of it and have no words, have no comfort. You know,

they'd have no way to process this thing. So they just learn that when you have, big feelings and hard things, you just shove it down. That's the takeaway. And the sentiment, though, of don't burden kids is still accurate. It's just then sometimes people swing way too far the other way. They make their kid the confid on it or they make, you know, I'm not worried about this with Bobby at all. But it's this sort of swing to the other because I'm really sad and this is really hard

and you're, you know, it's not that your kids can't see you crying. That is not what I'm saying. But to make sure you are doing your work so that you are not inadvertently. putting stuff on a kid when this is already scary. But you can't, you can't do that well unless you are also getting your needs met. And everyone's going to be a little different. You know, for that three weeks, Brian, you didn't have little kids at home that you were bossing around and yelling at, you know. No, that would. But you might have been, you might have been tempted. It might have been tempted. Right. It's really a hard, a hard thing. So this is where you sort of gather your

community and really have, you know, if we've got some people in your life where you live that can do like a food train, you know, a meal train or create some ways that everyone's getting breaks and connection because this is a sometimes a pretty long road. Sometimes it's not. I mean, you really have to have the information to know. And that's why waiting until you have a better sense is really going to serve you because just telling a kid who's distressed. I don't know the answer to that. I don't know the answer to that. They already have, you know, there's already a big unknown. So reducing that can be important. Yeah. I remember, I didn't appreciate the times where there wasn't 12 to 20 people in my life who had either cancer scares or actual cancer of various

kinds. And in some cases, my, you know, Kim's family, you know, the resulting death of cancer. Like, there was a time where I just, just never talked about cancer very much. Like, it just was whatever. I had not appreciate that, man. No, no, because you know, you wouldn't find out until it was too late and, you know, you couldn't, not that there was a thing you could do, but you wanted to be there for those people. And it used to, there used to be such a stigma of like, nope, you got cancer, keep it to yourself, don't tell anybody, you know, it's, um, it means there's something's wrong with you or whatever.

Right. Tiven found that there were people in her life who were thinking that they were being very positive, but they were being dismissive. Like basically she told one friend and they were like, oh, well, you're strong. You're going to beat this. No big deal. You know,

and she moved on the next topic like, oh, you got this. You're good. And it's like, well, no, you know,

I want your, I want your positivity, but I don't want to feel like it's, I'm being brushed out or that it's being brushed off or swept off or swept under the rug. And you kind of find out, you know, you want the people in your life who are like,

okay, what's the, what's the process? and how do you want me to be there for you? And sometimes it's not even how do you want me to be there for you. It's the very Kim Johnson thing of, cool, here's a casserole I made for you. Put in the freezer. When you're feeling crummy, then pull that out, put in the oven.

You don't have to do anything else. Yeah. Yeah. And let me shave my head with you. Yeah. She'll shave her head with you. She'll sometimes go to your house and she will spend all day just meal prepping for you. so that you've got a freezer and a fridge full of everything you're going to need for the next 30 days.

I am telling you, if you live near my wife, it's an automatic win. If you live near me, all bets are off. All right. Yeah, you're going to starve of Scotch your neighbor. Yeah, I have a neighbor. I have no idea how you cook these days. Yeah, I really don't. I have a neighbor up the street who has pancreatic cancer.

And you know when you hear that, you're just like, oh, my neighbor's going to die. Like you have, you don't have any hope when you hear pancreatic cancer. Yeah, it's always the one that's the hardest or whatever. She was in a trial drug situation that, you know, she was with 20 other people. And all of them were dead within six months. And she is going on two years. Oh, wow. And is like it every minute she's like, yeah, shouldn't still be here.

And didn't lose her hair, people. I don't understand that. Anyway, no, that's incredible. That's incredible. That's crazy. So people are shaving their heads and she's like, well, I'm keeping my hair. Y'all are, it's great. Thank you.

But you all are doing that for nothing because I'm keeping my hair. But if I think about that a little bit is like sometimes the response to breast cancer is a little more toxic positivity because you do see so many good outcomes. You don't see good outcomes with pancreatic cancer. That is, you know, so the neighborhood brought meals the whole time. We walked her dog every, they got a puppy at the time, which was rough. and we just kept it up for a year. And then suddenly she's like, guys, I might live forever. You might want to stop.

You might be making too much of a commitment here that you can't keep up with. And so I'm always like, whenever it needs to happen again, could you just inform us? It's you don't know. And what you don't really know is that every, she does an ongoing chemo treatment until the rest of her life. And so she'll have two weeks to feel good, two weeks to feel sick. And that's what you're living with. And so most of us, like Scott, the privilege of being young and knowing no one with cancer, right?

There's those moments that you're like, how would I not know about this thing? And then it just rocks people's lives. And so, you know, everything is empathy building and nobody wants to be going through any of this. But I think the most heartening thing in the world is when your community gathers are around you. And so, Bobby, that may be your job to make sure that is happening or initiating some of that or just checking in with some of her friends. Because if there's the, oh, you've got this and everyone's so busy and, you know, doing their thing. People may not realize you might actually need it. And so it's running interference in the opposite way.

What would you call that? Yeah. Yeah. No, you're kind of like you kind of get to play, not coach, but kind of like. like a proactive receptionist, right? Yeah. You're the receptionist. Yeah.

And checking with her. Like, is this good for you or not versus. And you are. Uh-huh. And you want, okay. Check with us back in six months or whatever. Or yep,

okay, she'll see you now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And really like,

you know, I think Bobby's main concern here he's expressing, obviously, is like, how are my kids going to wear, you know, weather this? you know, maybe he feels helpful about her and diagnostically and like we're going to be,

I mean, 40 is young and recovery's going to be a better shot of 40, right? Early detection too, it sounds like. Yeah, it's fantastic. But also like absolutely not what you're expecting. And so there's shock. And then whenever there is shock or or sudden like, I'm on a different path than I ever would have chosen, there is usually grief. And so one thing to note with the girls as they.

are experiencing, they have to go through a couple phases here. And so the idea is not to put too much burden on them, right, but also just honor the fact that they're going to have different thoughts and it's going to change. And so checking in with them as well and sort of making sure they're getting what they need is the gold standard of parenting during this. There isn't some perfect way to do it, but there is definitely bad ways to do it. Right. And that is to shut down any expression of feelings and what they're they're going through obviously give them a chance and it may be that it's safer to do that with dad because mom is not feeling well or they may need to have to talk to mom and stay connected that way some kids will feel like they need to sleep like like in a little nest

on the floor in their parents room sometimes you know so so kind of honor what things they need and even when you think of how as humans we we need to sort of ritualize some things or or create things to help us get through so that's why the meal train is powerful or that is why um you know the f cancer bracelets you make or you know finding some way to feel like you are not alone the the susan g komen running races and though the walks the cancer walks and stuff yeah i mean that it's really important to not to a no you're not doing it alone but have it in a realistic way like somebody in your life so if she's doing chemo she's going to meet people of chemo if she's there's got to be a group like let all the people in and then

And also, you know, Bobby can be the receptionist. I do like that term. That's a good one. As I say bodyguard, but I think receptionist is good, because it's friendly. It's like, oh, hey, how are you today? Good, come on in. And who are you here to see? And what is it you need?

And what is it you need? Bobby mentioned that, you know, he's also worried about the kids going through stuff that they're, they may not talk to them about, right? That he says, I'm worried that they're not going to talk to us about. the things that they're working through. Is there a way, like you're talking about all these different things to engage the cancer walks, the making ribbons or getting those F-cancer wristbands? Is there a way to involve them in that so that they feel like they can say,

here's what, here's what I'm going through? Two tween girls can make a bracelet? Yes, they can. They will out bracelet any of us. Sure. Oh, yeah, you can do those charm things with like the Taylor Swift kind of letters and stuff. Exactly. Exactly.

Yeah. And so finding out sort of, I mean, some of this stuff will start to, I actually don't know where Bobby lives. South Carolina. South Carolina. Okay. You know, finding other people that have already gone through it. I promise there is a network that exists that you could maybe tap into. I think the other thing, like the therapist with the 13-year-old informing them and letting them do some of the heavy lifting of talking about the hard thing or processing some of the hard thing.

I think that's a really nice safety thing. And then the younger one, sometimes just having like a counselor at school know, a teacher know that they're just going to give them a little extra love or, you know, whatever can also be helpful. Parents' friends, or friends of their friends' parents, sort of getting them in the loop. And you can even request how they handle it, right? somebody you kind of trust that it's okay for them to talk to them at their house about cancer or that their friends you know you just this will build the fact that you're aware of it

is going to be that's three force of the battle here that you're aware of it and you just want to make sure that it is maybe repeated a few times that it is safe to talk about and you're right they may never really tell you what they're feeling but when their sort of community is activated, there's a better chance for talking to somebody and processing. Because that's, that's in the end, it isn't that it's all going to be perfect and fine. This will be a part of their life. Their mom got cancer when they were in whatever grade. Okay, they're going to remember it. What we don't want it is to be so sticky and emotions to be shoved down that it has the lasting impression of badness and fear and, you know, the way it can kind of get.

stuck. So the way we do that, just like eating fiber, you just got to keep processing, right? You have to keep it, keep her moving. There we go. And the way to do that is the openness, the honesty, and, you know, that it's safe to talk about and, you know, all those different things. We've got, I mean, of all the cancers, this one is probably the most well-funded, notoriously talked about, pink ribboned right like it's got a lot of work behind it so i feel like it's a it's a good one uh in terms of people already being connected and aware and so just find find a network to connect into i never thought about that before it really does have a rallying cry that you don't get with you just don't think of with other cancers like nobody's going all right get the ribbon out from

my colon can unless it's some kind of general cancer thing but i don't know breast cancer is they did marketing well it's interesting yeah yeah yeah it'd be fun if I'm look back at the history of that not fun maybe interesting it'd be interesting to look back yeah I mean they're they're they're breasts involved but not in a fun way you know what I mean my favorite t-shirt though I saw I saw when a friend of mine had cancer it was of course they're fake the real ones tried to kill me yeah yeah I love that um I and actually it is interesting because Kim's sister who went through a later stage of this and ended up with the double mastectomy and all that. She's doing great. You know, Julie. Julie's doing great. And she's, I can't remember how she told me this,

but basically it just, there's never been a better time for the stigma than now. In other words, the rallying around people happens better now than it ever has. People don't just go, oh my goodness, and turn their heads. It's like a, if it's going to happen to you, you know, as much as 2026 has other unsavory things about it, it's not a bad time to find. community when you need it and the help you need and all that. Yeah, absolutely. Well, Wendy, good stuff as always. What's happening at Know Better You.com?

Anything we should talk about? Just give me your email and then I'll bug you later. I see what's happening. Collect some data. Woo! And it's not collecting any data, really. But the next class will be whenever I figure out when it's going to be. But I'm coming to Nurtacular.

Yeah, cool. Very excited. Chat with the people. Wendy's on my team for the All-Stars. Oh, bless. And we got me, you, Bo and John. So you're going to have to heavy lift for a lot of what we're doing, is all I'm saying? Yeah.

I know who Boone John are. So they're co-hosts of my game show, video game show, CORE. Now, if there's a bunch of video game questions, we don't know that because Brian won't tell anybody, anything, which you shouldn't. No. But if it turned out there were, maybe that would be some big advantageous thing for us. Sure. Yeah. My guess is Wendy's general knowledge of life will pay off more than all our dumb minds.

There will be as many therapy questions as there are video game questions. How's that? Which is great because that could either mean some or none. It could be none. Yes, exactly. You never know. Probably some video game questions. And it's, you know, general pop culture stuff.

Yeah. And I use those as therapy. So it all comes together. Sure. Well, that's awesome. Wendy, I can't wait. Actually, I can. We're very busy.

I wish there was more time. But I will not be able to wait to see you and hang out and all that fun stuff. We're also going to double the whole weekend as a some sort of family get-together reunion thing. Yeah. That'll be cool. Like our Johnson cousins, who we barely know. They're all coming. It's kind of fun.

It's weird. We're all just adults. It's weird what. Like a really old adult. It's weird what death does. somebody dies in the family and suddenly everyone's around again. It's weird. Anyway,

I guess that's regrettable but also nice. I don't know. I don't know what to call it. We'll see how the party goes. Yeah. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, see you all there.

And Wendy, I'll talk to you next week right here on the Therapy Thursday segment. Bye now. Thanks. Thanks, Wendy. More on our little secret plan later. Cool. Guys,

that's the show. We did the show and that means that we're done with the show. but it doesn't mean that we're done telling you a couple of quick things. Number one, we will raid coverville right after this show. Sweet. Brian will fire that up. He'll get in there as soon as we're done with post show stuff. And Hot Damn, the music coming off of that today will just leave your head spinning.

That's right. That's right. Everything you remember music-wise from, what was it, the Rhythm Nation, all that stuff, great covers of that. And a cover by, listen, Janet Jackson doesn't do a lot of covers. She did cover Rod Stewart, though. So we're going to have a cover from her. her on that. Oh, nice. I was going to ask something about, oh, the late in the career,

Michael's career before his death, he did this album that he collaborated a song with her on. Scream. Yeah. No cover of scream on this. I was going to ask, is that even a thing people, I remember it being okay. I kind of liked it. It was cool and it had a really cool video. Wasn't it directed by somebody famous? Yeah, it was like Fincher or somebody or something like that. Yeah, that black and white spaceship video with, I just remember their outfits were all spiky. but um uh yeah no no covers of that because everything i found was pretty sound alike so um yeah from velvet rope right exactly yep yeah i like that album yeah um moving on to uh this at 1 pm today there will be a core episode so lock in for that one you know what it means if you come to those live you know how long you're sitting there okay tuck in pack a lunch yeah or a day or a day or a day or a day or a day or a day or a day or a day or a day Dinner. Yeah.

Dinner. It's a mountain dew. Whatever you need to get through it. We'll be there at 1 p.m. Me, Bojan. We've got a lot to talk about today. So stick around for that. And the schedule's up at frogpants.com slash schedule. Let's play a song and get out of here, man. What do you go?

Yeah, sounds good. I have a request coming in here from Grandmaster Jarf. Says, good morning, Soul Taker in Brisbane. It's Grandmaster Jarf. Saturday the 16th is my 40th rotation around the sun. And after finally watching the phenomenon known as K-pop Demon Hunters, I have had Golden stuck in my head for weeks now. So, therefore, I humbly request the covermaster to find a lovey metal cover.

Did he really mean lovey? He wrote Lovey, L-O-V-E-Y, all right, metal cover of Golden from the movie. Appreciate all you guys have done, and I know it's a few episodes late, but happy 3000. I am Smeghead, love the show, though. Sweet. And Master Jarf. Love it. Love it.

So you're on the red dwarf with Lister and Rinda. Hell yeah. So we've played a couple versions of Golden on the show before, of course, the version by Puddle's Pity Party. And then there was a metal version. I've got a different metal version than the ones that we've already played. This one is by Jonathan Young featuring Caleb Hiles. And it's another really good version of the song. Here is Jonathan Young and Golden.

Thanks for listening. the Frog Pants Network lives at FrogPants.com. 310 to Yuma? That goes for a while. I have to fade it out. There we go.