The Morning Stream - TMS 3060: Panera Pickup Heist

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

A Full Sacktober. Build-a-Plane you know, for kids. We named the snake Reggie! The Shark Jumped. Pant like a Hole. Blanding is Bland. Just one snake on a plane. Three Little Pillars. I have Cartier on line 2. Shoutout to Paul. I call this plane Planey McPlaneface. Justice is Blonde. This Dyang Deer Donchaknow? Matt had a thing with beeeeeeees. Freaking Johnny Powers with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream.VIDEO: https://youtu.be/ULW7gHyXYBA Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know that before he was a rock star, Gene Simmons was a sixth grade teacher in Harlem, teaching kids how to rock and roll all night? Anyway, party every day by supporting TMS at patreon.com slash TMS. Coming up on the morning stream, a full Sacktober. Build a plane. You know, for kids. We name the snake, Reggie. The shark jumped.

Pant like a hole. Blanding is bland. Just one snake on a plane. Three little pillars. I have Cartier on line two. Shout out to Paul. I call this plain plainty make plain face Justice is blonde

This gang dear don't you know Matt had a thing with bees Freaking Johnny Powers with Wendy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream Do you seek Jamaharon? I don't even know what it means Good morning, I'm Joe, I'm a boomer in a coffee attic

The morning stream looks like we missed the morning stream. Hello, welcome to the morning stream. This is TMS for Thursday, August 27th, 2006. I'm Scott Johnson. That's Brian. Hi, Brian. Hello. How are you?

Hey, man. I'm all right. You know, look, here's the deal. I'm going on. out of town for a few days and I'm really looking forward to it. But I really do hate the lead up to things like this because it's just like how much stuff to finish and what did I forget? Right.

That's the thing is like, oh, cred, got out there and forgot, blah, you know, oh, you can buy their basics out there, toothpaste, sunscreen, whatever you need. But what's the thing that, you know, that you're going to forget that you're going to leave it home and say, dang it. Yeah. You need this. Yeah. And it'll be something like, oh, you got to drive to

blanding to get it. I don't want to go to blanding. Blanding's boring. It's full of people who refuse to give up polygamy and stuff. I don't want to go out there. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm excited, though. Excited to get back to my wife. It's going to be fun, yeah.

Looking forward to hearing about the trip. I'm, you know, I'm always saying I'm in need of a vacation because my vacations usually turn into like, all right, Brian, here's your vacation. Write a three-hour trivia game. Yeah.

This and that. We're going, I've mentioned this before. We're going out to, um, uh, Arizona in October. And I'm just looking forward to hanging out with all the, all the naces. They're just all so cool. I mean, you said they're like, they sound like they're all like, you know, 10, 12. No, they're like 30 and 35 and, you know, they're all old. They're young adult women.

Yeah. They're young adult women, but they're just so cool. Just, you're watching them grow up. and turn into the people they've turned into a soulful they want to see their uncle brian nothing wrong with that that's great i'm excited for you too when is that that's soon right it's in no it's in october oh that's perfect though it's a couple months away and i'll have to talk to you and randy and brian about um because i don't want it to affect a four movie october for sacked to we need we need sackedober in our lives humanity needs it i don't want to i don't want a round table in sactober what do you crazy no we need to

have uh that'd be crazy shows actually actually Is it a five? Is it a five on October? Oh, nope. Four Sundays. Only four Sundays in October. Okay. But, so we might have to figure out a double movie weekend or something like that.

Yeah, we'll figure something out. We love our September. You're right about that. We do. Exactly. That'd be great. And October's great in Arizona. You're not going to die at that time. Right.

That's the time to go. And it's Prescott anyway, which is a little, which is, you know, a few degrees cooler than Phoenix. So. It's been so long since I've been to Prescott. I've even heard that name in a hundred years. you brought it up last time you mentioned it and I went oh that's right I've been to that town I don't remember what I even did there went there for something

probably drove through it and then probably ate lunch there it would make sense because you would you would drive through Prescott to get to Phoenix yep yep I think that's what we did and it was always like kind of misleading because it was like oh it's not bad here it's not that hot this will be fine we get to Phoenix and like no it's literally an oven I was wrong let's go back to Prescott that was better there Hey guys We got a listener

Name Paul Oh this is so cool Need to give Paul a little shout out here He sent this message to me A couple days ago And I couldn't believe what he did I'm gonna see if I can pull these out And show them easily

Hey I'll spreadsheets do this Hold on one second here Here we go Okay so dude named Paul writes in says hey long time listener As you will see I started building an airplane from a kit It's a Zenith XLA 601

listening to ELR in my garage and finished it with TMS about six years ago. Wow. Okay, that gives a nice little perspective on how long that process is taken. No kidding. 120 horsepower plane, glass clock cockpit. I flew it over 100 hours and sold it. This was the plane that, sorry, this was a plane build number three for me. My wife said, no more. I am guessing this is the oddest thing done while listening to TMS. So here's, here's image number one. that's the plane he built while listening to ELR and then eventually TMS. I don't even know how you build a plane or that that was an option to build your own plane. That just seems, I guess someone's got to build your plane.

So maybe it'll be you. I mean, yeah, I just, it's funny. It's like when you say it comes in a kit or built it from a kit, it just feels like, it feels like it's going to be one of those kits like your mattress comes in a little box the size of a fridge. Yeah, like you bought a drone or something. and you just got to put the pieces together. But no, it's like, look at this thing. There's two seats in this.

Like, you could fly with someone in this plane, like legally. Wow. Wow. And then he flew it. What did he say? 100 hours of flight and then sold it. 100 hours of flight time. Yeah. Crazy.

Our listeners are so much cooler than us. You guys do cool shit. Totally. Building planes and then flying him. Is Bobby here to hear about this? I wonder what he thinks about the little homemade plane. That's something he would do with his, is flight training or not.

But I'm curious about like the, the C-G-U-P-R, like this, you know, C-Gupper on the side there. Do you, when you build, like, is that, is that, is that, is that part of the kit or do you do yourself? Is that part of the kit? Or is that like your

unique identifier for your personal plane so that when somebody flies up next to you and says, we need you to drop below the hard deck? Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Or is that Okay, yeah, Bobby Frank says, no, every plane has their own identifier. So that is unique to him.

He would have had to put that on, stencil that on there. He goes and registers at, oh, the sea is Canadian. So he goes and registers that they say, here's your identifier, and then it's up to you to have it displayed prominently on the side of your plane. Like a license plate, sort of. Yeah. Can you get it customized? Yeah.

Can I do something dumb like people do on their cars? I want that. Right. exactly yeah get your own like your your favorite four letters and uh oh in the u.s they are n and have four numbers or have numbers other countries use letters okay oh okay so it's always an n here always an end here see in canada is that why the why the even the starships and star trek have an end did we just keep that through military and all that i guess so right like the nCC it's like uh what is the i know we've we've learned a

in Star Trek what the NCC stands for. Oh, yeah, what was it? It's... I know. I should know this. Yes. Non-commissioned craft, 1701 or something like that. Yeah, I don't know what that is.

I like Petrus's C rash would be bad. Right. That would be crash. Yeah, so anyway, it is cool, and I just think our listeners are rad. what's the thing that we're kind of burying the lead here. He's got a whole other plane behind this one over there. Oh, he does.

That'd be yellow one. Unless that's just the hanger that he's in. That might not be his plane. It could just be his. Oh, good point. Is this your hanger, Paul? Because now I'm even more impressed. I know.

Holy shit. And then he's got another portion of a plane over there in that first photo. Like it looks like the cockpit of another plane. Yeah, like bits and parts to other stuff. And then this one looks like that yellow one looks like he could landed in the ocean and bring mail to some remote tribe or something. It looks like it might be a good place for his snake jock to hang out while he picks up his friend Indy with an idol.

I hate snakes, jock. I hate him. That guy, whose name is jock, nobody. Exactly. That's right. That's right. The snake was named, what was the snake's name? Oh, to have a name?

I don't know. I don't know if I don't know. Oh, that's, that's Eddie or something like that. Oh, that's just my pet Reggie. That's it. Reggie. there you go, yeah. That's my pet, Reggie.

I hate snakes, Doc. I hate them. Anyway. And then you hit guys that were chased over there. Right, exactly. It just goes to show that anything you can possess, I can take away. Welcome to Fantasy Island. Bellhawk.

Anyway, don't eat those dates. Let's move on. How was Jeopardy last night? It was good. So this is the Jeopardy last night. is the Jeopardy Interactive. This is an individual we're all in a big theater playing the game. I sent you some photos here

that you are a photo that you're able to share. The one you sent last night is, was it kind of midway through the thing or was that final score? That was the right before the final question. So that is they're telling you what your score is so that

you know how much you might want to wager. And so I'm looking at, you know, I've got in third place. You can see 53 players. on snark or whoever there's shark, whoever that is on the very bottom, not doing well. Not having a good night. Negative 16,000 plus points. That's crazy.

I didn't know you could go negative. I assumed it knocked you out if you had zero. No, no. You can, if you answer every question wrong, it will keep subtracting points from your score. And that's true in regular jeopardy? It's true and regular jeopardy too, yeah. And if you go into final jeopardy and you have a negative score, you don't get to play final jeopardy.

And they don't even let you stay on stage. Ken Jennings will like, all right, well, sorry, you're below zero points. So thanks for coming. It was great to see you. Can't play Final Jeopardy, and they come back from commercial, and that person is gone. Dang. Yeah. That's wild to me.

Okay. So you're looking good here based on this. I'm looking good. And, but you can see, you know, go ahead and share the other. I'm going to give you a couple more photos, but you can share that first one. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, is that the best place? No, it's fine.

Either is good. Okay. Here we go. Pulling it up here. Okay. There is. I'm going to give you a question that was the last daily double that I got. So this is the first board.

Alcohol drinks and pop culture, fun with city flags. Oh, first among sequels. ST on the TV? ST on the TV. So things that start with, the two-word things on TV that start with. S and T. For example, this Netflix TV show takes place in Hawkins.

Blah, bra, bra. Oh, Stranger Things. There you go. And one of our daily doubles was in there, and I'm thinking, all right, I think I actually might be able to do this

with a daily double on this. This feels like a good one where I can go for all my points. And the question was, this Game of Thrones character played by John Gardner, I think, was better with a book than he was with a book.

sword. Oh. Uh, 35 seconds. It's all counting down and that includes the time it took me to read it. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. S. T. I know. I know. I can't. I have no idea. And it came to me right at the end, Sam Tarley. Oh, geez. Exactly. Exactly. Um, all right. I'm going to give you another one. You've got 35 seconds from when, when this thing appears. Um, although you probably want to share it.

I guess that's going to cut into your time. Well, we'll see how you do. This was from a category. This was another daily double. Okay. And I only wagered $10,000 on this one because I wasn't sure. I'm learning my lesson about going all in. Here comes your question.

The category is it came from a graphic novel. Okay. All right. Pulling it up. There's your question. Don't need in until you share. Oh, you can, yeah. I'll share first.

That's not a problem. Okay. This 2017 movie. with Charlize Theron as a badass spy was based on the graphic novel of the coldest city. That would be, oh shit, that just left me.

Blonde, blonde, blonde, justice? Blonde, atomic blonde. There you go. I had the word atomic typed in when time ran out. Because I was thinking,

oh crap, what was that one, the one straight to video with the, where she was a former superhero turned spy and she's like, the old guard. Oh, no, that wasn't it. that was too soon or too recent and then it finally like oh no atomic blonde i started typing atomic

and i didn't get it all right so it's a hard one gets to the end and i showed you those scores yeah and the final question uh i like you know i'm like well i'm not going to bet everything because there's two players above me and i'm going to guess that they're going to cancel each other out allay 303 and kp these are your two exactly my two competitors there by the way my uncle george and my buddy paul not there not even in the top 10 before Final Jeopardy. Oops.

The question is, this 1990 film had 25 actors that appeared in a later HBO series with the same theme. Band of Brothers? It is incorrect.

And I bet 18,000, and I'll show you the final results here in this last. There we go. I think that date was right.

That date was definitely. wrong for Band of Brothers, I mean. Yeah, and plus they want the movie, not the series, not the HBO series. Oh, I should have known this. I knew this because they're all in that, they have to, everybody in Goodfellas, not everybody, but a ton of them went on to be in Supranos.

Went on to be, uh, exactly went on to the Sopranos. So I bet 12,760. And all three of us got it right, KP and, uh, uh, LA. and they both bet zero they both got it right and bet zero if I would have bet so that moved me from third place

in a second so I knocked KP out as you suggested I did get out of their but if I would have if I would have done the math and said you know what I'll I'll bet 20,000 then I would have been in front of I would have taken first place too oh man but

ended up in second place 53 players I'll take it I'll take second place you know what's pretty strong yeah and so so but George and them were there, they just were knocked out? Or what was the deal?

They, they bet a lot. Oh, they bet everything. Each of them bet everything on that, Charlize Theron question. Oh.

And they could not come up with Atomic blonde. And so the only thing that saved me is that I played it more conservatively. All I remember is... They're both big comic book guys,

so I don't blame them for going all in. Yeah, no, I would have too on that one. I remember the blonde part. You could not remember the atomic part. Right. Exactly. But it almost doesn't fit because the word

atomic shouldn't go in your spy movie. It's weird. The blonde part I get should be like sneaky blondeer. This wants it to be a play on, you know, atomic bomb. So sure. It makes sense. Not very good either, by the way. It's all right. But it's not great. Yep, exactly. But anyway, so

I won second place. Came home with Alamo draft house movie tickets. It's like giving ice cubes to an ex-imals. Eskimo, I'm sorry, Inuit. Sure. Because I've got a season pass. So what do I need these for?

So, of course, giving them to George and Paul. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Here's your consolation comic book nerds. Exactly. That's great, man. Super, super cool. Real close ending there.

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of fun. They do this every month, the last Wednesday of the month. And so I may do it September 30th. We'll see. It's going to be right after six weeks. of League of Jeopardy League which we're going every Tuesday

so I might be I might be ready to take a month off from the rigors from the Jeopardy Interactive that might be too much trivia It's a lot of trivia Exactly everything will start sounding the same And then you'll start

Yeah you'll need you know what There's nothing wrong with this Yeah everything in my life I will see with a blue background and white letters You'll ask you'll answer everything with a question Everything will be in the form of question exactly Brian, could you please pass the salt? What is? Here you go.

I want that for you, kind of. That'd be perfect. Well, congratulations on second place. That is no small feat. Thanks. On the second highest little pillar on the three-pillard. On the three little final pillars. Yes, exactly.

What's great about that three little pillars thing is that they felt the need to use three different handwriting font. to make it look like people were handwriting getting their answers. Yeah, I noticed that. It's kind of interesting. You get Comic Sans, you get Bradley Hand,

and you get Marydale or whatever it's called. Be fun to run that a little bit, wouldn't it? It is, yeah. The person who runs it, the stressful part for them is pronouncing things. A question came up with, oh, who was it? Vladislav.

Vladislah, because I made the joke to George and Paul did. Oh, no, that's pronounced W. Lady's Law. Oh, W. Ladyslaw. Well, W. Lady Slah. Anyway, that came up and they had a hard time pronouncing that. But the weird thing was they also had a hard time pronouncing Charlize. I think he pronounced it Charlize, Charlize Theron or something like that.

Oh, Lord. It's like, have you not heard of Charlize Theron? I feel like she might be, you know. She's a big deal. She turns out. One of the most well-known performers right now for the last 20 years. Yeah. She's got a, she made a mark, I would think.

I mean, the whole throne thing is always up for grabs because she's even, even she acknowledges. That seems like the harder of the two names to pronounce. Charlize feels like a pretty easy one. That's funny. That's like when Carter graduated from high school, they called her Cartier. Which I don't, I'll never understand it. Maybe they just thought, well, it's a girl coming up. Carter sounds like a boy's name, so we're going to say,

ooh, what if it's Cartier? And so the girl flubbed in the direction of that. I don't know. They might have just seen like an extra, like imagine an extra line in the, next to the tea, right? Like they saw the tea and said, oh, is that a TI? Okay, Cardier. We're actually grateful for it because now it's like a family joke.

We do it all the time. Where's Cartier? Is Cartier here? That's right. And my son, Rolex. Yeah. Oh, name everything after a family. Nancy Brands. I love that idea. My daughter's name is Taggure. Tagher. Hower. Who's the,

who's the Tommy, I want a Tommy Hill figure in the family. That's who I want. Okay. Sure. Because they can be Tom, we can call them just Tommy. Just Tom. Yeah. Tea Hill. Yeah, T. Hill. Yeah, T. Hill for sure. All right. I was incensed yesterday by some fraud that I had to share. Oh, okay. Cool. Really upset me. Oh, okay, two things. One, I'm leaving the gym today and pulling out of the parking lot. We're waiting for the guy next to us to get out of the way. It's fine, whatever.

But he gets out of his car, his SUV, and he shuts the doors and he starts to walk around the back. And then he stops again, I'm waiting for him again. He pops his fuel tank, but it's the push. You just push it in, it pops out, you know, the kind? Yeah, the door or whatever. It's not a key or like the old school way. It's just you pop it out. He pops it out, puts his stuff.

key fob in there for his car. Essentially, it's, you know, the entire entry system to the car, just stumps it in there and shuts it and then goes into the gym because he doesn't want to carry his keys around, I assume. Yeah. I think that seems really dumb to me. It's really dumb. Do they have lockers? Imagine at the gym? They 100% have lockers. 100% they do. Yeah. And the idea that no one's going to see you put that in there or that nobody who steals cars doesn't know to check that. it's worse than the than the visor key thing. Yes, yes, right. Because you still have to

break into the car. You still have to get into the car and try it. Yeah, you still have to get in there. And sometimes it's not unlocked. Sometimes that's a second key or whatever. In this case, it's just right there. All you'd have to do is go, pop. And so sure enough, he's gone. I get out and I decide, let's just see how easy this would be. I'm not going to steal it.

But let's see how easy it is. And it's not one of these cars with a bunch of cameras or anything, so I wasn't worried about it. Right. I did it. I popped it. Open it up. There's this fob. I'm like, well, I could just take that. And she goes, but we won't be doing that. Will we? Yes. Well, of course we won't. So we shut it and left. Would you like, would you like one dumber? Give me a dumber one. And this is almost daily at Panera. And it's not just one person. It is like, it feels like it comes up with different cars there in front of Panera. They place their order, their mobile order. They pull up to Panera. They leave their car running with nobody in it. In the summertime, it's not like, oh, I got to keep it warm because I don't want to cool off. No, they leave it running. Yeah.

Go into Panera and go get their order. Granted, you know, they may only be in there for like two minutes when they go up and pick up their order. But what if their order is not ready? What if, you know, oh, there's a problem. This one is supposed to have a drink. Okay, let me find that. Okay, yeah, here's your drink. A lot can happen in two minutes, too.

A lot can happen. Like, if I wanted to steal a car, it'd be the, easiest thing of this panera. Yeah. Like, it really would. Yeah. I don't know why people, why people would do that. That just gives me, like, I get anxiety, you telling me that story.

Yeah. Because I'm like, not only have you given them the keys and the car, it's running. It's like ready to hit the gas and go. Exactly. I mean, what, what, do you expecting a fast get away with your everything bagel? Is there, you know, you need. Digital hype says in some states, that's illegal in some states? Yeah, it is because it's called.

huffing. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Tweep, yeah, sometimes people, right, he's, uh, Tweep says, or Tweetbex says, sometimes people have the fobs in their pockets so it automatically locks and unlocks when they get close. True. But doesn't, those fobs also will turn off, like the car will stop if they get too far away from it automatically. I think that's how those, I don't think it's in perpetuity. You could just go forever and have it keep running. I don't think. I think the whole point is there's a remote, like, not detonator, but. Right. But it's got to, proximity. Tina's car has this and she'll get out to get some gas

or something. She'll leave the car running and I'll be sitting there doing something on my phone, listening to the music on the stereo and she'll get too far away from the car and it'll shut off and stop playing music. I'm like, just leave me the key. Please. Yeah, that's crazy. But she doesn't want to take it out of her purse. I get it. No, I totally get that too. But I've also been a situation where Kim left me

in the car because he's like, I'm just going to run into Walmart, grab something. I'll be right back. Just stay here. I'm like, okay, I'll stay here. And she'll forget that she took the fob. So now the car's losing its effing mind. Because she, the fob is moving away and the car starts going, and the radio's going and it starts to like cut things out. And I'm like in full shutdown mode. I'm like, gosh, dang it. Bring the key back. We had something similar when we went on the trip with George and Barb to Logan, Utah for the MS-150. So it's me, Tina, George and Barb in the car. George is driving. I'm in the passenger seat.

The ladies are in the back. We pull up to a gas station where we don't need to get gas, but we need, you know, bathroom and maybe grab something, a snack or something. So Tina and I hop out. We go inside, go to the bathroom. Barb is on the phone taking a call in the back seat. George thinks that she has also gone inside to go the bathroom. So he gets out of the car, starts walking away, hits his... lock button doesn't even turn around a look hits his lock button keeps walking

the car has a thing detects that there's there could be a baby in the back seat oh shit so it starts honking like me me me like you've left somebody in the car or left a baby in the car or dog or something yeah he like looks down to his fob hits it again it starts beeping and get immediately faster meb meb meb barb's trying to conduct this call and george keeps trying to lock her in I think she said something about this. So that was, that's what caused it. It was a baby detection. It was a baby detection.

I never got that part. That's funny. Yeah, to make sure that people don't accidentally leave somebody in the, leave somebody behind in the car, leave a baby behind the car and forget that they. Wasn't there something else going on with the way it braked to? Yes.

Yeah, because we had the, um, the bike rack on the back. Oh, that's it. The camera detector was saying, oh, don't back up. You've got something there. Don't back up.

So every time you try to back up, even though the rack is, you know, vertical, there's clearance behind it. It thinks you're about to hit something. So it immediately stops the break. That seems bad. Yeah. So they had to like, they had to figure out the technique of back up, stop, put it back in the reverse and then back up again. That's horrible. That's wild.

Well, he learned, you know, we learned. Yeah, exactly. This is for J.K. Grammer real quick. You like that, bud? You like that? Yeah, I saw it put it in there. Take his, take his ice away. It must be his kryptonite.

He's always, he's always bringing it up. He's like, that ice, that sound your classmate. He didn't like it. I didn't actually know what was coming through, so I will be more careful about that. Just get, can you get a straw? I could get a straw. You know what? Straws would work in here, I guess.

These little built cups have enough, see, they got the whole little shafty shut thing. Yeah, there you go. But I could get it in there. You know what? Good idea. Straw it is. There you go.

All right. We are really close to Wendy. Let me see if she's here yet. If she's not, she's not. I'm going to do this thing. This video is a TikTok. Yeah, I'm going to show you guys this TikTok. So I mentioned it yesterday.

The lost. We were talking about lost luggage. Correct. Do I have volume on this? I don't know. It's a memory because she doesn't use the last. the lost music. Yeah, she does,

she tries to use something that's, that's, I just think trending on the, on TikTok or something. Yeah. Yeah. But this is uncanny, I think.

I think so too. Crazy. Let me pull it up here. All right. So here's the video. This is a TikTok that I found, or that I ran into, and I couldn't believe it.

I had to send it to Brian and Amy like immediately because they're doing all this lost stuff. Let me turn off the mute and see if this works, because the lady does say something important here. So here you go. Oh, why isn't it playing? Hold on. All right, let me go back.

I don't want to get on his phone. All right. So, for those who can't see this, obviously, you're at home listening to audio. That is the spitting image of Jorge Garcia. Yeah. Taking tickets at a terminal in an airport. Hugo Hurley Reyes from Lost. And it's, I mean, it's one thing to say, oh, there's kind of a heavyset guy with a ponytail.

Yeah. And at first you're like, well, is that all this is? Then he turns a little bit toward the camera. Yeah. Right here. That is freaking hurly, dude. Right down to like the scruff, the, the beard, the ponytail, all of it looks like. Jorge Garcia.

Brian's comment was the best. He said he's only taking tickets for the first nine rows or something like that. Or what you say? I said he's only putting people into six very specific rows. It's being very picky about where everyone's sitting in the. flight. Yeah, that was just a crazy thing to run into. So, meant to share it yesterday. Wow. But don't worry. There's always more time. All right. Let me see if my sister is pingable. If not, I got one more thing to share with you.

Let's see. She says, you good. I'll ask. She'll reply in some meaningful sisterly way and say there she is or isn't or buy me a second or something like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stretch. Oh, does she do? Is there like a emoji for this? There must be. If there's not, we should create one.

We should have met one ourselves and make that happen. All right, here we go. There's something wrong, Batman. Has anybody seen Wendy? I have. She's right here. My sister Wendy joins us all the way from Minnesota. You like that accent?

That attempt? Minnesota. It's one of the only two states where if you tell people where you're from, they will answer back. in an accent. Yeah. Do you think, I mean, the Cohen brothers probably

to deserve a lot of credit for pushing the stereotype of the vernacular of the area of the region, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, without Fargo, I don't know if anyone even thinks about it, right? Oh, I want to watch Fargo again.

Just saying the word Fargo makes me want to watch that movie again. Okay, also go look up Taylor Swift in her very young years doing an impression of a Minnesota Mall. It's very fun. Oh, is she good at it? Of a Minnesota Mall? A Minnesota mom.

Mom, okay. And she's talking about hitting a deer with her minivan. Really? Yeah, and so, yeah, if maybe Taylor, this 50s made it popular, too, is all I'm saying. Was she, is she from there? No. She's not from the Midwest or something. I don't know.

She's from Tennessee, I think. Yeah, Tennessee, if I mark. Oh, you know what? I think I mean. I may have, I know, dude, geez, Louise. Really sad. What a week. I haven't seen Kim this worked up about a celebrity death forever.

Like, she was so upset when she came downstairs. Mrs. Crazy Neighbor has, you know, she's a big Dolly fan, and she's got a coffee table book on her, you know, that's always on her coffee table of, like, Dolly's photos in her life and stuff like that. She was a wreck a couple days ago. Yeah. My favorite thing that happened is everybody kind of claims her.

Yeah, right. Left and right. Like country or not. Everyone just claims her, even though they're not really paying attention. Aside from that, though, my favorite thing that happened yesterday is Ted Cruz, Texas Senator Ted Cruz, he retweets this video of some interview with her in the 80s of some nice things she said and says, legend and puts a heart and all this stuff. It was a positive thing that he added to this. retweet, but what he didn't pay attention to

is the person he retweeted, who posted the original video, their name was Ted Cruz's tiny penis. Fantastic. So for like eight hours yesterday, this thing is like the top of his feed

showing that he's retweeting a guy named Ted Cruz's tiny penis. I thought it was the funniest thing I ever heard. Anyway, I love it. I found that video. Is this short? Let's just listen to this real quick.

Taylor Swift. doing Minnesota mom here let's try it out okay here we go what are you gonna do what's an impression of Minnesota soccer mom okay explain that obviously it's just Minnesota soccer mom okay yeah this what they sound like okay okay okay are we ready for this I was driving down the roll the other day and I was in my van and this mini this aw this deer this dang deer just jumped out in front of my van and I didn't even know what was going on. That's pretty good.

It's pretty good. For real humans talk like that. Like, I'll hear it sometimes and I'll go, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. And my back neighbor, I haven't called him crazy yet, like you Brian. But my back neighbor is super strong. And we have this weird, it's like an echo alley or something. It comes, like it sounds like she's talking.

next to you at our back patio table. And I mean, we're all plugging our ears and going inside. And she's just having a normal car sexual with someone. Because the severity of the realness is hard. The fake one, I think, is really funny. But the real one, sometimes I don't know what to do that. So do you feel like you're adopting any of these synchristies? Like I can't completely say, oh, no.

Yeah. I keep every time you're here visiting or we talk here on Thursdays, I'm always like looking for it a little bit. and I never quite hear it. So I'd look forward to that. The other day I said something, uh, feels good.

And all my whole family's like, Phil's good. Phil's good. And that's a Utah thing is to say Phil. Yeah, we say Phil. Phil. By the way,

Wendy, do you need to, would you like a pool or do you need to remodel your house or anything like that? Because if you'd like, I can introduce you to the crazy, Mr. and Mrs. crazy neighbor.

And, uh, yeah, uh, it would be enough work for you to create an ad on a new wing. on your house if you'd like. Yeah. Like a trade.

You do a trade for work? I'm going to, just based on what little I know, I would say, don't take that trade. I would say. I've heard a few stories. Probably. Probably a safe. Maybe not worth the pool. Maybe not.

Also, unethical. I can't do that. Sure. I can't swap out for things. Fair enough. I wish. Oh, no. No, I'm just saying you'd make enough money.

I'd just say you'd make enough money from them to be able to afford anything. you need to do to your house. Oh, the therapy they need is a bottomless pit. Yeah. Yeah, it goes forever. You know, the people like that don't believe that, so they're not going to pay that. That's true. Sometimes maybe they get to an extreme in their life and they go, oh, shoot, bottom of the barrel, maybe I need to now or whatever, but until then,

it's like, it's all, it's all woo-woo to them, right? Step one is admitting your crazy neighbor has a problem. Step two. Is inviting them to go to family. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, move them into your house and then have them fix everything. That's right.

And listen to Yaw Rock all day. Hey, let's get to today's discussion topic. Wendy's, of course, a real therapist. Helps people with real problems all the time and comes on the show on Thursdays to help you at home with yours. And we got one from somebody we're going to call P. I don't know what it's short for. And I'm not sure about gender, but here we go.

Hi, all my TMS people. Scott has talked about his brother shredding his shorts in front of all of his friends. meaning my shorts. And that was really embarrassing and awful and I hated it. Wendy has talked about being chased by Scott around the house with a soldering iron.

That happened when Wendy was about eight, I think. Something like that, six to eight. These stories made me wonder if these are considered trauma or PTSD potential events. My older brother teased me constantly as a kid and I sometimes wonder why

or if that's why I am so jumpy all the time. Could you talk about what makes trauma and what is just life happening pee. It's an interesting question because we, I do too. I don't know if it's ever been asked in this way. It's also very succinct

and simple and he's not giving us, he or she's not giving us a lot of background here. Right. Yeah. But I, I think about this sometimes, especially with the soldering thing. Like, when you reminded me that that happened, I went, oh yeah, for me, that was just another day of how do I tease my sisters. And for you

was like this horrible experience that, you know, as far as you knew, your brother had lost it was about to burn a symbol into your head or something. Have you soldered anything since that experience? I have not. I have not. But my son owns, I think, a couple of them.

Uh-oh. Do you walk by his room and go, ugh, the sauntering. I could never find them. They're buried under all of garbage. But I truly, like, I think about the part of it that sticks with me the most is the part where I gave up. Because you had me pinned on the bathroom. floor this thing above my head.

And I thought, I can't win. Go ahead and burn me. You were ready to accept whatever this was. Yeah. And it's be in that like, you know, it was a very sad acceptance moment. Yeah. Like it's fine. I'm disfigured.

Okay, here we go. That's not my favorite part. But that's probably why it stuck more than any other reason is that I made a weird, I made an internal decision to not fight you anymore. and then, uh, worked out. That's funny, because I have the same memory when Mark, uh, for those who haven't heard this story,

and I don't know if I've told it in very much detail, but I had these pants or these shorts. They were cut off jean shorts that I could not get rid of. I loved them. War them all the time. And they were starting to show it. They got weird little holes on the sides and was kind of falling apart. But I refused like a lot.

I had a lot of like in junior high. I had clothes. I just would never get rid of. I just loved that, that jacket I wore like five years in a row. I don't know what my deal was. That was the kind of kid I was. But I was there and there were like four of my friends there.

And Mark was home for something. He's 10 years older, so he's off to school or whatever. But he was home for something. And he sees that these shorts have like a hole in one of the seams. And while I'm there, he just like lurches at me and starts saying, I don't like these shorts are going to last much longer. And he's like giving me a hard time. And I knew what he was trying to do.

He was trying to tear this hole open. and I knew if he did, it meant my shorts were basically off. Like, I was going to be a kid in his underwear in front of his friends. And he kept going, it kept going. And I got, I had this exact same moment where I had acceptance. I went, well, this is where I'm half naked in front of my friends. And that's how this is going to be. I can't, I can't win.

And that's probably why that is so memorable for me. Yeah. For the same reason. Because your powerless. Yeah. All your power is taken. Yeah. And it's kind of awful.

Now, why I would have that experience and turn right around and do it with Wendy with a soldering iron, I don't know. Yeah. Transference. You know, hurt kids, hurt kids. I guess so. But does any of this, you know, because a universal experience, especially with siblings, is these kinds of things happen. So is it even fair to say, to compare this and say, well, this truly is trauma and you have PTSD from it. to somebody knowing that this isn't like a war experience where you watch people get slaughtered

or you were powerless to do anything about a bomb blowing your friend's leg off or you know what I mean? Like there's obviously a scale here. I'm just curious when you start calling at that and when you don't. I think that's what they're asking. I'll tell you. I'll tell you because the word powerless is actually really important here is that there is a really big difference between what happened to us and what someone would have with a sibling that relentlessly. create scenarios where they're powerless.

Right. Right. So I have one experience with you where I felt powerless and it was just a funny older brother joke. And I would argue that there is a healthy amount of that that makes us take life a little less seriously. Keeps our little

growing egos and check. Like there's some value of having a sibling mess with you here or there, right? But if it was relentless, if it was daily, if every time I came home, you did something to torture me and then move me to powerlessness, we would be having a different discussion. And 100% not on this podcast talking.

We wouldn't be talking. Yeah, we wouldn't. We wouldn't have the, yeah, we wouldn't have our relationship. You're right. Guarantee. And so I'll get into some official definitions in a second, but this is like 100% my experience as a therapist working since 2002, right? So through a lot of changes, the before time.

you know, 2016 is when the end time started in the before times, right? So we're all clear on the division of time. And there is this like very clear experience that I had. I went from, I'm a therapist working with so, there's so much stigma still, right? About therapy and about getting help and, you know, there was all sorts of things from the 90s that need to be unraveled for a lot of people. And so when I would see clients and they would tell me this sort of consistent powerlessness experience because of siblings or any other version of what we would define as trauma,

I would have to tell them often that that sounded traumatic. They wouldn't even have a word for it or be able to say, like, I was traumatized or my trauma, right? And then we have a switcheroo with another generation. that comes in and is privy to the language and is talks amongst themselves and has like maybe nicer parents. I don't know. But they start to be able to less stigma working through their stuff. They will come in and describe things as trauma. In fact, sometimes my job is to try to pull them away from things that they're calling trauma that are just like a person at the store didn't hold the door for me is not trauma. And so we make.

fun of it between generations, right? There is just like everyone's going to make fun of a boomer for this and Gen X is whatever in the middle and it but the truth is there is a real difference in what was a allowable, what people went through. So I was having to teach people about trauma. Now I have to debrief like was that actually trauma and calling it that does something for them. So we're going to work on it. It's not like I'm going to be like, nope, that's not trauma. But the ease at which I'm going to call anything traumatic and wear that as my identity and my sometimes excuse for how I'm interacting in the world. Not always, but sometimes, right? Like, it's a joke. Like, talk about running the gamut in a career. But so, so let me just give a couple definitions. So we have a term for,

so you say PTSD. PTSD is, you know, having this reaction after a life-threatening experience. Now, a soldering iron to the forehead could kind of feel life-threatening, right? But it's really like you believe your life, someone else's, you know, anything that is incredibly out of the ordinary, sudden, dangerous, all of those things will typically be an event that's so traumatic that we are in such a state of fight or flight. We're in shock. We have all sorts of bodily reactions that connect to this thing. And then, you know, three-fourths of people will watch. walk away from that and work it through and be okay. And then you've got a percentage that will, it will stick. And it's like a broken record. It will replay when it's triggered. And they get put right back into that place. So that is a very simplified definition of like PTSD.

So that's when you think of someone going to war, right? And coming back, that's, that is the most common place for us to understand that. Sure. We have a new term. It isn't, I think it is not technically in the DSM yet, but it's called CPST. P, sorry, C, PTSD, and that is complex PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder. And this is, you know, I think it's not officially in yet, but I think it will probably be at some point. It's just really hard to manage because of what it is.

What's the DSM again? What does the DSM stand for? The Diagnostic Statistical Manual. That's basically how you diagnose everybody, right? And then we do it with other codes now. But so this this idea, though, of a complex PTSD is that you have a mental health condition that developed. So again, everyone has to have symptoms, pathologies. They can't be functioning well to be getting these diagnosis.

And that's what most people are doing. They're like, I stayed home on Friday night because I was so sad because of my trauma. And it's like, okay, that is not ruining your life to get the diagnosis. We could argue it's not great, obviously, right? But diagnostic levels, you've got to have it really like making relationships difficult, keeping a job difficult, sustaining housing difficult. Like it has to impact you, right? And complex PTSD is it's a mental health condition resulting from experiencing prolonged,

repeated trauma, which you cannot escape that feeling of like powerlessness. Like escape feels impossible. And that is childhood abuse. So like long-term neglect or physical, sexual, emotional abuse, abandonment. Those things are absolutely a precursor to be getting these complex levels of, you know, anxiety and a threat to self for longer term. So we've seen these cases forever, right? There's always been long-term, you know, prolonged damage done to children who then, you know, turn into adults. and have all sorts of challenges.

And it's, you know, maybe we've mistreating it in the best possible way. I think we're much better at this now, seeing it for what it is, right? And so that's where a complex PTSD diagnosis would come from. And so we're talking like Elizabeth Smart, right? Ongoing captivity, abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, prisoners of war. All of that would be a complex. It's the long term versus I saw a really bad car accident. and now I can't drive

and I need help getting back to it. That's a one event kind of thing. These are the ones that are long, long, long term. She blows my mind, by the way. I don't know how she, I mean, I'm sure that this is, I don't know if it's unique to her or whatever, but Elizabeth Smart just blows my mind. Like the stuff she's up to now.

She's been able to come, come forward with that. That documentary recently where I forgot what they called it, but it was, they interviewed, everybody including her and her family and it was it was the entire story of the abduction and everything and we're what 22 years since or something um she's really incredible and and the ease at which she would acknowledge the worst parts and i don't know i mean she's clearly gone through some heavy duty done the work done the work exactly and it that's the actually that's the vibe i got through the whole documentary is this is that thing wendy's always talking about that doing the work

thing. It doesn't take it away or make it change or make it so it never happened or any of that. But you can tell when somebody's really wrestled it, you know? Right. When you see somebody who's gone through something horrendous talk about it calmly. They've either had to take a million drugs to do that or dissociate completely or something, right? Or they have processed it, processed it, processed it, healed from it. And it's become a narrative that no longer man like takes over their nervous system. Right. And so we always think of that as this amazing. strength and it is absolutely but it really is the strength because they did all of that confronting of the darkness in order to make sense of the story where they had no sense no power no nothing

and especially from from childhood which is why c ptcd is so damaging um and let me just give some symptoms really quick so people can kind of i think it's helpful to have a sense of this because some this may ring true to somebody especially if you're a gen x or a boo or who you were never allowed to think you had trauma, okay, is that the symptoms from this ongoing abandonment or ongoing neglect or ongoing your parents were drug abusers and you were making food for you and your little siblings, right? Like that long-term dysregulation and fear and sort of powerlessness shows up as adults in emotional dysregulation. So you're going to have extreme anger, sadness, trouble controlling, you know, sort of any of your emotions or you will

be numbed out. There's a deeply held negative self-concept. So feelings of deep worthlessness, shame or guilt, and feeling permanently damaged. So when anyone comes to me and they start to talk about wondering if they're broken, that's always my first clue to sort of look into some other things to find out where this I am broken feeling comes from. And you know, you take a child and we're their mirrors. And so we show them their value.

And if the mirrors these kids had was the worthlessness and shame and guilt and bad and damage, you know, that's the development of that sense of self. So that's always a clue to that. And then this is probably the one that most people get help because this starts to happen is they avoid people. They struggle to trust others. They feel really distant from people they theoretically are. close to, like family or friends, right? So interpersonal difficulties are really,

really common. And it makes sense, right? The very core people in your life were not safe. And that meant, and this is where, like someone like Elizabeth Smart, that wasn't her core people that did the damage, right? So that actually helps in that process versus someone who, those horrible people were their parents, right? And or an aunt and uncle or your siblings. And So getting back to the email, the siblings can be this role. I don't know how severe for anybody, but that was sort of news when I was a little bit younger in work feeling like, wait a minute, but a sibling, because I have such lovely siblings. And though there is joking and Jean short rip ripping and soldering I heard to the forehead,

it's so one off. And we had parents that like, you know, Scott, you were not allowed to. to tease Misha. I think you were allowed to tease me, apparently, but you were not allowed to tease Misha. You knew there were boundaries or you knew what we knew our parents were a fail safe. There was safety. And so kids could mess around, but in the end, there wasn't, it wasn't parents we didn't trust, right? It wasn't, we could have gone and said, hey, Matt's trying to make me hold a B in our hands, which he did. Yeah, he did do that a couple times. Did he really? He had a thing with these. I don't know what his deal with. That's just kids without supervision. And that's,

you know, we get a little Lord of the Flies. And yet there is some safety and it's not chronic. And there's plenty of good times. And we all played with puppies and we had food. You know, like none of this should lead to a larger problem. But if you don't have some of those buffering experiences, like strong parents that stop the fighting or you feel like you can go to safely with that sibling or that sibling doesn't get help with the problems that

they're taking out on this other sibling right like that none of the adults are operating right is this powerless this relentless ongoing thing and so the sibling thing is a very real I remember just being like wait a minute your trauma comes from your brother dang and then realizing oh yeah absolutely there is no the malice was just permanent right the threat was permanent, the anger, and you know, you got a bunch of teenagers. It's, it's, it's complicated. Sure. But those symptoms of what I described might be the most helpful way for somebody to know that what happened was not okay. Yeah, yeah. You know, we might jump to like, oh, that was traumatizing because of this or that. And that story, if you tell that story over and over that it's

traumatizing, I could tell, in fact, I told the soldering Iron story the other day to someone. and I'm trying to remember why. Oh, yeah. How'd that come up? It was something, oh, someone asked, oh, I think it was when I got your t-shirt, thank you, by the way. Oh, yeah. Awesome. My neighbors were all out chatting and I showed them the t-shirt that said, forget everything I just said and do what you want.

Yeah. And the mom across the street has four little kids and they're honestly, they're like a little Italian gang. They're mom, Vinnie, Frankie, and Baby June. They're so cute and so funny. And she's like, I have to pat one of them down when we leave like Walmart to get school supplies. That kid had like 30 pencils in his pocket. So she's always asking me like advice. She's so funny.

She's always asking me for advice. She's so cute. And she just said, oh, I've heard you say that with the T-shirt. She's like, I heard you say that before. Oh, they've actually heard you say it. That's funny. Yeah. So I was telling her about your podcast.

In fact, she might be listening right now. Hi. Hi, neighbor. They're awesome. We really love them. And hopefully we didn't, hopefully we didn't lose them in the first half with our nonsense. I told her to skip your first business. Like, just go right.

Always a safe. Always a safe. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so we were talking about, she's like, you do a podcast with your brothers. I think she's also in this space of like, I want my sons and their little sister to stay close. And we have three boys and a girl just like them. Yeah.

And how our boys are really close. And she's kind of like, how do you keep them close? I'm like, oh, I did this podcast with my brother. She's like, that's so cool. And I'm like, well, let me tell you. Maybe it was her. I told the story too, but people are always like, what? And I tell it so funny that no one's like, oh. No one thinks of it as trauma. I mean, I didn't really think of it until you brought it up.

Like I had forgotten about it, A, B. Because it wasn't your trauma. And once you said it, I went, holy shit, that's terrible that I did that. Like, I really felt bad about it for a few days there. I still do. I still think it's just kind of a rat thing for a kid to do. Yeah. I feel like it's so, it's very funny in retrospect. But if like you did that today, first of all, I would be able to. Yeah, you'd wreck me. Yeah, yeah. You would wreck me. It would not, it would not go, it would not go well. But like I was thinking. I didn't have any of those skills when I was nine. And Wendy, Wendy's skills were all about April 1st and, you know, putting toilet paper all over the bathroom. And, you know, she was doing a lot of the April Fool stuff all the time. But none of that was traumatizing. But it was built into the family. ethos in a way that was fun and like I'm sort of repeating is periodic and jokey. And so you can take a

joke too far. You can feel really hurt by things. And in those settings, it's a great chance to communicate, to repair. There's so many skills we really should be adding in without telling the story. So my reason of telling the soldering iron story, though, is that I tell that not as trauma, but as a funny story or when somebody's like, you and your brother get along. I'm like, well, there was a one time. You know, like it's fun. Sure. Sure. I am not telling that story as trauma.

Now, I'm not saying it's as easy as only tell your stories as happy memories and then they won't be trauma. I don't mean that. But our body believes the stories we tell it. And so if we are rehearsing over and over our victimhood based on, you know, maybe something that we're struggling to get over with and not, I might be. life was threatened. I had no power or safety. Like there are real reasons and I at the risk of telling someone their reason isn't real. There are plenty of times people are hanging on to things

because that actually feels safer to be calling it our trauma and cuddling with it. And that's what keeps me safe from the work of that repairing a hard relationship. Or the work of learning how to let go or have our thoughts do something different. Right. And so this is where someone helps you sort through all of this and decide, okay, what is this? What is it not? Can be, be tricky. I mean, I'll have people coming in gripping their story so hard. And it's like, I have to pry their dead fingers off this. Like, you're identifying yourself fully with the soldering iron. That is, that can't be a good life. That would be bad, yeah. And so sometimes we need help doing that. It's not easy to do it on our own, especially if there wasn't some other way to process it or if it was,

if it definitely was chronic, we're looking at more the impact of what, what, you know, trauma does. And, you know, we've talked about the ACEs score before as well, which is these acute childhood experiences. Yeah. That are really rough on us and have lingering effects and health outcomes, right? It's a health outcome study. And you just have a lot more problems because you were under chronic stress as a child. So that's the biggest difference. Is it periodic stress where your brother messes?

with you or was it chronic stress. Maybe they're sisters. I'm sure they were mean sisters. Oh, of course, always. Very gendered here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, we're just kind of going off our experience. Like, to me, it was like, not to label everybody, but Matt was the one that would chew up

pizza, spit it in a bag and chase you around the house with it. And he did that multiple times. I sprained an ankle once running from him. There's a whole thing with that. Tara was the one that would sneak money out of mom's purse and not tell anybody. That was kind of her thing. Misha's the one that Like you mentioned it earlier

Like if you targeted Misha with teasing It was always worse for some reason Because she's kind of a Because she's kind of She's the saint of everybody She's the sweetest human And I get it now that I'm older But when I wiped peanut butter on her leg

And dad kicked my butt with his boot That's still up there by the way But boots always up there I'll never forget that As the only physicality I had dad ever had with me. Never got physical with me. Wow. Never spank, never push, never anything physical. But that one day, peanut butter on Misha, she cried. My dad was so pissed that he put half a boot up my butt and I still don't poop right.

I'm telling you. I would love to ask dad this question. He's probably hanging out with Dolly. I would love to say, hey, did you know Scott put a sunring around in my forehead? I don't know if he just didn't. he may not know or not a big cryer so i i didn't like cry a lot so i don't think he would well that's part of i don't i hate to say this now because it's obviously it's easy to say now but i think part of the reason that that you would have been more easily targeted by i'm going to take this cold thing she's going to think it's hot and i'm going to chase around the house i think the reason you were that is because you were you were made of tougher stuff that made mom and dad not lose their minds and put a boot up my butt because you could kind of take

it i think was the idea i'm not not sure any of that's actually like fundamentally biologically correct but it is it does seem like we all kind of fit into these weird little slots and then and then that was the puzzle we were all the little puzzle pieces and in the weirdest puzzle when you grow up it's just a strange time very weird puzzle and and not i mean we have a pretty weird family if we're all honest about it um in that we're so different everyone is so different and somehow that was very helpful in a way that sometimes families the differences are really problematic and or they're so similar or you know there's there's competition for more things going on um and somehow our parents gave us all about the same amount of energy and attention and i mean Tara got a lot more because

she was so naughty yeah but nobody wanted that attention i mean i learned very early yeah you don't want negative attention yeah that's the most that's that's the kindest way you could say what she was up to she was very naughty. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Oh, there's stories. Silly would be even kinder. She was silly. Yeah, we'll say silly. Sure. But I do think that takes some of the family energy in a

different direction. And so I think we were all just seeing as doing pretty good. Yeah. And there's a lot of freedom in our generation, right? You just did random stuff. Yeah, we were out till it was dark. And then if we got home on time, we ate and if we didn't, mom's like, well, food's cold.

I guess you can heat it. Like, it's just not. the same now as it was then. Like people can always, it's always easy to like look at your childhood and go back in my day, we used to be able to go anywhere we wanted on our bikes and blah, blah, blah. But there was some of that. You know, there was some of that stuff. And you had to learn a couple things that I think might

be missing and intolerating hard people or conversations, right? Like you learned, you played ghost in the graveyard with fucking Johnny Powers. Do you remember him? I do. That guy was terrifying.

And why his name is Johnny Powers. It sounds like a fake name, but that guy was real. He was a real kid. He was so scary. I know he did drugs. I didn't even know if that's true, but I was sure of it. And I just,

he was terrifying. And he lived at the bottom of our street. So we were not only playing capture the flag, we were also trying not to get killed by Johnny Powers. By Johnny freaking powers. Wow. So you have a lot of those like navigating and negotiating. It sounds like a CW series

It really does, by the way. Yeah, the adventures of Johnny Powers. They're managed by adults with rules and sports leagues. You know what I mean? Like, I've been talking to a friend recently about her kid wanting to quit club soccer after playing since he was three. He's now 14.

And the shock of my friend who, I'm like, just listen to me. Listen to yourself out loud. He's played the same sport year round for 10 years and he's telling you he's burned out. I think we should listen. Yeah, let them get out. And the stats are 70% of kids stop playing sports at age 13.

Yeah. And you know what? In our day, you started playing a sport at age 13. You didn't even join until you were 12. Yeah. And so you didn't have. I had tee ball at eight, but that doesn't count. T ball's stupid.

Yeah, because that was a joke. But that was the beginning of the, let's organize. And so what we have is kids are sitting around on screens or they're in something organized by adults and watched it all times or they're indoors, right? Like we just, it's not, some of these skills are missing that I think can then feel later, like when you have like a bratty boss or something, you're just like, I'm being targeted, I'm being abused. It's hard to not take that a little more personally.

And so it's really hard to see what's in the middle because those things do exist. Of course. My whole job is helping people where this exists for real. But I do know that we can sometimes really make ourselves miserable by reframing our whole life into a narrative that keeps us stuck and quote unquote safe, right? And so that's worth talking to someone about too. Like how do I, you know, if we're afraid to leave the house, if we're afraid to not interact with just a rando at a store when I'm checking out, you know, we've maybe got something complex going on or maybe we're not. not practicing enough peopling, you know. Well, yeah. I mean, in some reality, if you had taken things wrong, you could be,

you could be sitting in front of a congressional hearing on the dangers of cold soldering irons and how we should. You know what I mean? Like, you could have really made that your identity or I could have made my torn shorts, my identity, or whatever the thing is. And, you know, there's a reason why I guess we made, is it, is it just because then we have worse stuff later and then that's pales in comparison or there's probably a combination of things that's more complex than that but i just think it's more of the the mitigating effects

of other good things in life yeah and and and really you know i i i've recently talked to some people who are doing some high risk um adoption work which is just freaking god's work i'm telling you where they take a family or they take a kid in whose family is either trying to maintain custody but it's drug addicted and not flying or whatever. And this kid is just in the most stressful limbo, feeling loyalty to their family, but having safety maybe for the first time. And just the level of angels around us to do some of this is incredible, right?

And so we need to protect kids from that stuff. They need to be protected because the damage is so intense on term. But I do think if you have a relatively sick, growing up and you have some stuff that's lingering and hanging over. You have no relationships with some of those people because we just couldn't work it through. That is worth talking to someone about and letting it down, right? We can call it whatever we want. Let's say it's trauma, whatever it's not.

That doesn't matter. If it is impeding your ability to enjoy your life and to connect with others and to feel safe. Yeah, feel safe with someone. That is always the big indication lit. the story you have going is either strong enough to keep people away from you and or and there's reasons for that. So digging into that like what might actually be there. So Scott, you only did. I have one story of you teasing me. I don't have any others. No. Which is wild. I'm amazed actually.

I think it's, you know. Winnie and I got a long really well growing up though. Like we would, I've talked about the Thanksgiving thing and, you know, we were always dorking around. Like, I feel like I probably probably. If you did. it, I didn't feel powerless. And I think that's the key. Right. And for whatever reason, it just felt like everybody was fair game and none of it ever felt, at least it didn't never feel to me. Like even Mark's thing with the pants, my shorts and leaving me a little bit, you know, vulnerable or whatever. I felt, I still knew it's like, ah, just older brother crap. I freaking hate it. Why he's that to be such a butt? I don't hold it against him now. It's just fine now.

Sure. Right. It wasn't ongoing and he wasn't in your life doing it all. No. I think. I think you've, yeah, I think you laid it out really well. It kind of, it's all about, it's all about like the intensity of it. Like how often is it always happening? You know, is that person just always chasing me with that slaughtering iron? Or are they, but it was it a one-off and we had a good laugh and everybody stopped. You know, I think that makes a difference, even though it's a hideous thing to do. Oh, the typewriter. There we go, Brian. You knew there was more. The typewriter where you pin me down and pat on my chest and make me slap me. Hey, you'd be happy to know. That came right from Mark. Mark. Mark taught me that. So we know where this all comes from. Oh, there is more good. So this is a... All of a sudden, the chicken's going to be a baby. It's,

we're covering things. I thought it was a, I thought it was a thing everybody did, but it was you would, if you were the stronger one, you'd pin down your sister or your brother and you'd knock them right on that little sternum here. And you do this to go,

your typewriter, you're a typewriter. Say ding. Say ding. And the idea is if you said ding, that would mean, oh, I'm done. Nope,

you'd slap them. And then do it longer. And then slap them again. And they would say ding because they were like desperate to get out of there. And they would believe you. Oh, what a horrible stupid thing. So our great, great grandchildren would be like, what's a typewriter? I love being an only child.

Nobody played typewriter on Brian Sternum. No. Now what would it be? It would be like say. I don't know. I don't know. It'd be, uh, it'd be swiping them left and right. Yeah, I guess so.

Give me an AI prompt. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think, uh, yeah, there were plenty. I just don't know if I guess I kind of felt powerless there. This might be a question for therapists. Yeah, maybe. Interesting.

Maybe. Yeah. Keep digging. We'll just keep going. But yeah, the other thing is it does feel like it gets carried down. Like, Mark, Mark was, he would tease me pretty relentlessly when he was around. And so I would go, my turn. And I don't know, it felt like.

But then there was like this unifying factor when Matt would spit into a bag and chase everybody. Yeah, we were a team. Yeah, that was wild. I mean, seriously, imagine this barely knowing English kid, 15-year-old huge Jackie Chan hair-looking Korean kid, chasing around the house with his shirt off with a baggie. Yeah, your parents are gone. He's got a baggie and he's got it all tight down to the end with a big wad of chewed-up pizza. And he's just chasing you through the house.

And you trip and fall and go, okay, okay, okay, okay, I would always say. If I hit the ground, I was done. Anyway, fun stories. We aren't strong. It is fun stories. And it is also like, it's like, not a big deal for us. And I think for other people, it might be. I know now, though, someone has to target me for me to even get that they're not just being family.

Like, you got to work to offend me. You got to do it for years. I am zero going to see your little dumb mistake as a front. I just don't. It's not how my brain works at all. And I'll have people like, oh, I didn't mean anything. And I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about because I miss it. So I feel like that's given me a big advantage in life. And I've appreciated that. But, you know, maybe we were on the edge of complex people. Yeah, who knows? I don't know. The 80s were weird, man. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. So I hope P, if you have a really mean brother and he was consistent and stupid, just go talk to someone, work it out. Maybe sometimes adults repairing is super powerful. too of just like dude sorry you know like get to what maybe needs to be fixed if there is some possibility yeah that's hard for us it's so easy to just stay in our little silos and be like I'm

right that person sucks you know when I first when you first reminded me of the soldering iron thing I wrote Wendy I sent her a text like I did not I don't remember this I don't remember being such a little bastard but it's important stuff like even if you think that you're the one with the like if this person, P, thinks that it's all been done to them, there's a good chance that some of that venting you may have done to deal with it is do it to other people. And you could go a long way to go to them. And even if you're having a great relationship with them now, just say, you know, I'm really sorry if I was a butthole when I was 12 or, you know. Well, there's also one thing you made me think of is when a triangle is created, we have so much more problems. I could do a whole series on triangles.

So that's triangulation is what we call it. where three people are involved in whatever the dynamic is. And usually people are pitting someone against the other. Think of party line phone calls back in the 80s. Okay. So. One 900 party. What our parents never did was acted like a corner of the triangle.

That's true. They didn't get one of our parents wasn't saying, you're the good kid, that kid sucks. Like there was no conspiring that way unless you made Misha cry and then you got kicked in the butt. I never made Misha cry. so I have none of these experiences. But, and I look at, sometimes this is a thing to think about, and I'm just throwing this out for P, did a sibling collude with parents against you?

Did you feel like the favoritism and some of that other stuff that can happen when a parent, and for parents listening, this is tricky. You can see why this might happen. And if you're not consciously parenting, and if you're not doing your best, you're going to create rifts in kids sometimes without meaning to because you get one of the kids and you don't get the other kid or one is you're

really mad at you think is the worst I mean and so sometimes that triangulation can really exactly yeah the black sheep can get the black sheep can get more it can get blacker just because one of one or both parents are always talking about how they're the troubled one they're the one giving us the most heat like I think there was some of that with Tara and I think we I think it affected us I think it made us I don't know if the word is biased but we were we were all pretty she made it easy to be united because her behavior was so bad but it was it was still i think there was some of that because you can't some of that is like now i i see it and i kind of forgive it on mom and dad's part especially moms because what else are you going to do if your mom and you're constantly

fighting that every day and the rest of us are trying to eat and evolve and go to school and do all our things and she's dealing with that like i kind of get why we would get that bias out of her yeah and she never they never asked me to help with terra i had to i mean i'm two years younger than her i just sleep in the same godforsaken room with her yeah this is why no one can harm me yeah yeah you're good shield baby you're pervious i don't know how you did it you got a thin coat of something going on right i was an only child you don't realize yeah right right in a lot of ways wendy was kind of She was six years younger than me. You were, and you, and you would have been that,

you would have been the youngest kid by that much had we not adopted all the Koreans. Right. So you were kind of raised in a whole different, you know, bag of chips. Yeah, yeah. Back of chips. But anyway, well, there you go. I think this is probably helpful for everybody hearing it, but I hope it helps P. And P, let us know how things go.

We really appreciate the question. I really like it. It's freaky that you take two. stories from our childhoods and then make a question out of it. However, like, what a great, take, like to distinguish between some things like that. I agree. Life is complicated, you know. Yeah, you guys send us some real bangers. We love them. We'll keep doing them at the morning stream at gmail.com. A couple of things to remember. It is still possible for you to donate and help nor. Is it how you pronounce her name? Yes, nor. Go check it out. Here it is right here.

I made that shortened URL, tiny.cc slash help, nor, which is N-O-U-R. We really want to help her stay, get school. Get to Italy, get to go to bed school. She'll go back and help her people. She's just, yeah. Live an amazing life. Help us. You guys have already made a big dent, so thank you for that.

Yes, I noticed right after the show all these donations, it made me so happy. Yeah, thank you. Really kind. also help Know Better You.com. What's going on over there? Nobetteru.com. Go show up.

Sign up for the happiness class. It starts in September, September 13th. That's second Sunday after whatever. And we have scholarships left. So please, if you are struggling financially at all, or if you're just like, I just don't want to pay for this, Wendy.

You know, reach out to me. We make it very easy. We just give you a code and you get started. But we'd love to have more people. We're currently, it's a good size class, but there's spots for more, and it's going to be a really fun one. I'm excited. So you want to be happier. It's not the bull crap of that.

It's the truth of that. It's the science of it, right? Like how to actually do it. Yep. And do it in a group. It's fun. And they have this great graphic of this guy who looks like he's on fire. I love it.

I love it. Yeah. He's on fire. The other guy looks like he's doing yoga and farting. Yeah. That's the ethos we bring. Yeah. It's really, really good.

Go check it out. Wendy, have a great week and best to everybody. And how's football? I meant to ask, how's Elliot and football and everything? Yeah, he did a little scrimmage. You guys, can we just say, you have never met a kinder human who hits people with his pads on. But he is so, it's such a dead caught. I love the complexity of the child. He is a strangest.

Yeah. Touched another human and hurt them ever. Honestly. It's such a weird dog. It's good because I feel like he's got this outlet now where that can happen. But I still picture him like clobbering somebody on the field and then going, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Here, come here.

Let me help you. She is constantly helping the other team up. Always. And sometimes I'm like, bro, you are never going to win a game. You got to like have an enemy. You guys don't even know he's the sweetest kid. And it's easy for his mom to say, but I can confirm. I know it's also biased.

And I'm not saying this about any of my other children notice. It's not like I think my kids are all great. I got one who's willing to walk the dog every day, you guys. Every day, it's like, can I walk the dog? I'm like, who are you? Yeah, he's a very, very unique child. He doesn't get a CTE and break something because how did Wendy Dunford let her child play football? And it's because I don't have a choice.

I have, I'm what they call a laissez-faire parent. He's going to make his choices and I'm going to stand by him. It's so scary. And he would never chase his sister with a cold soldering iron. Oh, never. No, never ever. But he's, he can, you know, throw a jab now verbally. So I'm proud of him.

Oh, he's smart. Yeah. Yeah, he's also can tease his mom, which, you know, takes a lot. Have him run for office. We need kindness again. Can he do that? He's so nice. The problem is, I don't want to, I would never want to curse him to a life of politics.

I would never want to do that. I don't know if you can do it and actually be deeply kind and do it very long. I think you could do maybe local stuff. But even then. Why are we so? It's like your governor. You can only do it so long. Then he's got a bail.

I get it. Do you know all our flags are at half staff for Dolly? No, I didn't know that. That's nice. Yeah, that's sweet. They did that. That's government. They did something here.

I don't know. Nothing cool. Also the Queens Guard, the King's Guard, I guess. Yeah, they played 9 to 5. It's so cute. That was a wild cover of that because I don't know what I expected. Like, that's particular song, which is all about working. Nine, do five.

right. It's got a certain vibe to it. It's all about that movie and that time and everything. And then to hear the guard all very stoically stand there and do it. It was like, what a weird thing. I know. We need, we need Julie Andrews to be locked somewhere safe. Who else we got to protect? Well, Peter

Cullen died today. One of my favorite voice actors of all time. The voice of the voice of Optimus Prime died today. Is this just going to happen because everyone famous is old? Yeah, they're all in their 80s. He's just going to keep happening. Okay. He's 85. and was 85 and now has transformed into a ghost and we'll miss him.

You know who I can't. I will not be able to take is when it's Attenborough. Oh, dude, David Attenborough. He's David Attenborough. I forgot his first name. That's not good son. 99. Yeah.

That's going to be rough. Don't mention a celebrity name. Oh, we just did it. Sorry. Crap. Yeah. I think I talked about Transformers last week. Have you not learned?

TMS has a curse. All right. Say hi to everybody. and we'll talk to you soon. Bye now. All right. Well done. Went a little long there,

but that's always fun with Wendy. That's all right. Always enjoy it. Let's get out of here. We're going to go ahead and go. And we're going to go. Frogpants.com slash TMS is our website. Go there often.

Use what you need. You can contact us, email us, voicemail us. Send us those messages you want Wendy to answer. And so forth at frogpants.com. TMS. Brian,

after the show, we got Coverville, I assume. Is that happening today? There won't be. actually because I've got a client that is just needs everything today. So after the show today, I switch over to start working for stuff for her. Actually, she's been texting the last couple of minutes.

I'm like, yeah, I'll be on your stuff at about 1030, 1045. I'll reach out to you then. Nice. But so here's the good news. What does that mean? What does it mean? Well, if there's no TMS tomorrow in its place, maybe half an hour later than we usually start TMS.

so 930 coverville a tribute to the aforementioned dolly parton um should be great actually been put together some really good covers obviously everything you want to hear jolene nine to five islands in the stream here you come again everything like that um covers by folks like nora jones ava cassidy um the wayland jenny's they do an incredible cover of light of a clear blue morning um and then some covers by Dolly Parton of folks like The Beatles, Joni Mitchell, REO Speedwagon, and Collective Soul. What? Yes.

It's really happening. So tomorrow morning, 930 at Twitch.tv slash coverville. Very nice. Her collabs are always good, too. I was like... They are. Like her Post Malone thing she did was really good. That was really good.

The stuff she did. You know, as much as I hated aspects of that rock star album, especially the... how she'd end a song with a spoken thing to like, really drive the point of, just buying a stairway to heaven. I don't know why they decided to do that. I don't know either, like why they felt like they had to,

but... I don't like that, much at all. It's so weird, but, yeah, you might hear something from that as well. We'll see. Oh, no, you definitely will. One with Elton John. That's right. I did put one in here.

There you go. So all that tomorrow, 930, twitch.v.V.E. Well, if you're worried there's nothing today, you'd be wrong. Today at noon, we have Core. Core is going to be a big one today. We got a lot of reasons to talk, one of them being the wrap-up of Gamescom and what happened and was shown there, along with the new games of next month and some big stuff happening today.

So do check that out. That's at one p. Or no, sorry, noon today, the new time. Noon. Noon p.m. And after that, play retro had to get bumped because we were having like brownouts yesterday. It was really weird. Bummer.

Another storm and a bunch of weird. And it was just bad enough that I was like, I don't want to risk it. And Dunnoy said, no problem. So tonight at 6 p.m. we will be doing Play Retro instead of what it was supposed to be, which was yesterday. So a big full day of content leading into the weekend before I leave. And then no TMS Monday or Tuesday. Right.

Brian might get up to some stream in business. I don't know. I might. You know, that might be a good excuse for some dispatch. Finally get some dispatch. Jeez. There you go. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Because I can't buy zero company, Star Wars, Zero Company, which I already. see Bobby playing like it tells you in Discord what people are doing sometimes I haven't had time to even touch it Bobby you bastard Star Wars your company played by Bobby but I can't even think about purchasing it until I complete

dispatch so that's the that's the deal I get you I'm with you anyway watch for all that coming up we got to get out of here but with the song let's do it yeah this one's going out to Leslie Logan's mom she says hey guys so this weekend Chris and Logan

are gone to father-son adventure camp up at hume lake yes i will miss them as i do every year but i'm looking forward to having a quiet house to myself for a couple days as i do every year any song about being alone and quiet etc would be awesome thanks son leslie nice that's awesome yeah that's i love a lone time dude it's great for about the first 24 hours and then i start yeah i'm going to have that uh in mid-september when uh team goes off to a retreat for three days. Oh, fun. Yes, more dispatch. Actually, I'm seeing that new Korean horror film, monster horror film, and it's

called, is that the one called Home? Heard good things about this. Yeah. I forgot what that's called. It's not the... I think it's called home. It's not the Bousan follow-up. It's the other thing. No, it's the different thing. Let me find the name. confirm what it is. Really sad about Dogstar's reviews so far. They're low. Oh, are they not good? 38.

Oh, geez. Ridley. Come on, man. I know. I need it to be good. I love, love, loved that book.

And I don't know why they would, they would with it, but we'll see, I guess. Hope is what that movie's called. I guess I won't be sending you this dog star poster that I got for you. Oh,

look at that. Nice. Just ride a big 38 on there in red Sharpie. we'll switch it to whale fall, which I'm sure we'll be watching for a film sack at some point. It feels like it. That thing seems like a shit, but whatever. Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe it's a flip thing. Maybe. Hold your breath. Whale fall. It's like a whale with an octopus in its mouth. Look at like he's got an octopus in his throat. Yeah. He grabs things.

And the trailer I saw had a dude in there. Yeah. Like Job style, like a guy getting sucked in there for a Bible story. It's weird. Nice. I don't know what to think of any of it. Yeah. Well, anyway, we'll see.

That's later. So let's get to Leslie's cover here. This is one originally done by Betty Hutton, but most people know this song by the Bjork cover of the song. I'm playing the cover of the cover. This is a song called It's Oh So Quiet, which is perfect for Leslie's situation until it talks about falling in love. So, I mean, she's already in love. Sure. Chris is there.

He's good. This is a band called Noise for Pretend. It was on a Bjork tribute. album from 2004. Here is, it's, it's so quiet. Here it is, enjoy. We'll see you guys soon. You wanna cry across your heart and hope to die Till it's over and it's nice and quiet Almost have a fit, this guy's gorge, you gotta hit, there's no mistake, this is it It's the Polar