The Morning Stream - TMS PM 12-10-2021: You've been Whammed

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

The Point is that the Funny Thing is. Covid Testacular. Don't Dox the Doc. Books are Podcasts for your Eyes. EffTweek. Yelly Phone Rant. It Really Is Funny This Time! 25-point Impact text having horse-pills. It's Nothing to Puke Over. Free sample?!? Making big things seem small. Read This with Amy and more on this episode of TMSPM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks to Manly Bands for supporting the morning stream. Manly Bands helps men find wedding bands that fit their personality and their budget with unique and stylish designs. To get 21% off your manly band or an upgrade, go to manlybans.com slash TMS. Coming up on TMSPM, the point is that the funny thing is. COVID testicular. Don't docks the doc. Looks, they're podcasts for your eyes. F-Tweak.

Yelly phone rant. It really is funny this time. 25-point impact text having horse pills. It's nothing to puke over. Free sample? Making big things seem small. Read this with Amy and more on this episode of TMS. P.M.

This is the morning stream. But it's not in the morning. It's at night. M.S. P.N. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to TMS. It's a PM edition for everyone. Not just patrons today. Everyone gets it because this week was so effed that we felt like we had to do a little extra something and I'm happy to do it. That's right. Between COVID tests and doctor visits and all that stuff. You want to know the worst thing about that COVID test. So here's the deal. Let me give a quick update.

I'm on antibiotics now. Start. him yesterday. Third pill this morning. I'll take another one tonight. It's 10 days worth. It's a sinus infection. All confirmed. Everything I thought it was, it is. I haven't had one of these in 15 years. So it's been a while, but there it is. And it's got nothing to do with COVID. The COVID test came back negative. All that's fine. And we talked about it on the show, I guess. But here's the problem, and I'm still a little bit annoyed by it. Part of the deal this week was if I needed to get an appointment with my doctor, they needed me to get a test, confirmed one way of the other first, right? I had to have COVID test before I went in there.

And some have said, well, my doctors does COVID in the, I know, I understand everybody's different. Okay, I get it. But this office didn't. So they wanted me to get an outside one. So I did. Yeah, my, my GP doesn't either. I can't get a COVID test at my doctor's office. Right. I don't think it's as common as some people are suggesting. I think you and I are more normal than they are. But anyway, so I get, so I get the test. It comes back negative. That was a whole ordeal. We've talked about that. Right. The, the whole running back and forth. got my license, then they did the thing, had to do it myself, nearly blacked out from the pain, waited way too long for the results. They took more than their 24 hours, they told

me. Um, finally got it. Negative. Great. Now's the time you make the appointment with the doctor. So I call the doctor's office. I say, hey, I was told that I had to get this test first. I'm in tons of pain here, but I did what you said first. And I got the test. It came back negative. I need an appointment. Oh, we've got one that opened up at 8 a.m. tomorrow. Do you want to come in for that, or 9 a.m. tomorrow, 9.30, whatever it was. I said, yeah, that'd be great. I'm going to have to shuffle some things around, but I'll be there because I don't want to delay it, right? I don't want to get this done. Let's get this over there. Exactly, exactly. So I go in, I cancel the show. As you guys know, there was no show as a result. I went into the doctor's

office. I sit down, and Dr. V, I call her. I don't want to say a real name. I don't want to violate her HIPAA. Just kidding. You don't want to docks the doctor. Well, so I get this. I get this there and there's a pregnant lady who does all my vitals. Not that it matters that she's pregnant. That was just a notable thing. She's very pregnant. Is she always pregnant? I don't know if always, but she was at least eight months pregnant. Very

very pregnant. When they eventually have their baby, do they get fired and a new pregnant lady is hired to take her forth? Yeah, they swap her in and now the new pregnant lady takes your blood pressure. But the good news is my blood pressure was great. I lost weight and didn't know it. Good. Good stuff all around just for that initial

checkup stuff. And then she says, Right? describe your symptoms. I told her everything. She leaves and I'm waiting for the doctor. It's starting to go really long. And I'm on my phone trying to entertain myself. And I'm like, boy, I'm glad I canceled TMS because there's no way this ends before, you know, it's going way too long. Like originally it was going to be an 8 o'clock appointment. You're like, I'll totally be back in time for TMS. And I'm like, yeah, okay. And it's a good thing I didn't because had it been then, we'd have canceled even more last minute than I did because they went so freaking long before I saw the doctor. she finally comes in and she goes I'm really sorry and this is all fine but this is the weirdest thing and maybe Dr. Jerry Tolbert can confirm that this maybe happens or something but they got trolled I guess here's what happened somebody had an appointment for 8 a.m. or 930 sorry I keep screwing the time up because

I changed it they they had an appointment for the time that I had it that's why I got it because they canceled it so I'm using that slot well it turns out that person came in when I did, and I saw them as I was in the waiting room, and I went, I thought I was the only one. Well, anyway, they're there for their normal appointment, and they had never canceled, at least that's what they said. So they're all confused trying to figure out what's going on. So they call the number back of the number they supposedly used for the cancellation.

And when that person picked up and knew it was the doctor's office, they went off on this like, yelly phone rant about how masks do nothing and were all tools of the government. and Chinese this and that and COVID is fake and this crazy like troll anti-COVID or anti-Mask anti-vax thing just freaking out on the phone to these guys and they were just like

what? How did they cancel this other person's appointments? So there's all kinds of questions, right? Like why? Yeah. But that's what took him so long. So they literally had to do her appointment, then me. So I basically sat there for two people's appointments worth of time. The second half was It's fine because we cleared the show.

We all, you know, it's fine. Sure. Here's the other part of the bug thing. It's funny because you're experiencing, and I say it's funny. I know I'm still saying that. I'm trying not to say it. Yeah. But this is funny, coincidental funny, that you're experiencing the same thing our hospitals are

because there are anti-vaxxers in there taking up all the beds. It's hurting the people who come in for other reasons. And you just experience that in the doctor's waiting room. Yeah, it was almost worse because this is like a person who, Literally, it's like one of those people who just gets them and goes, like the middle of a concert or something, like someone's got a point to make. It's like, go make it somewhere else.

Do it something else. Like Michael Stipe. Yeah, kind of like that. Just kidding. So it just effed everything up. Now, here's what made it a little bit worse and then everything got better. Okay. She says, at one point like, I don't know, I'm there two hours total and maybe in the hour

and a half point where I'm talking to her, it occurs to me, no one has asked about my COVID test. No one has... Oh, yeah, no kidding. And I thought, now hold on. Wait, wait, did they ask when you... When you made the appointment? No, because they did when I first tried to schedule one the other day,

and they said, no, we need you to get the test first. And I said, okay, I'll do that. This one, I didn't mention it. I just said, hey, I need to get in there for a whatever. And I don't know if they just forgot or if they... You know what it might be? So now the COVID test is part of your universal health care profile thing. Oh, yeah, they'll show up.

Yeah, they're probably able to look it up. Yeah, so that's probably what happened. But I was still a little annoyed that they were like, Do not enter without COVID test. And then when I got there, they're like, yeah, get in here, let's take it. You know, like I feel like they should at least acknowledge it since it was such a pain of my ass. Yeah.

I mean, I'm mainly just being a baby about it. But at the end of the day, yesterday, it was great. She got me what I need. needed. She warned me against Flones, told me to try a different kind, because Flonais is, you know, we'll come back with a vengeance sometimes. You don't want to do that. Do it, you know, sparingly if you're going to do it or whatever. I said, hey, I bet them them netty pots. How about those? I've been told those have been around for a thousand years. And she says, oh, I wouldn't do those. I said, really? She goes, yeah, instead you get the

kind that looked like a big nipple on the top. And then you fill it full of the saline stuff. Oh, yeah, and you squeeze. And you squeeze it through. Yeah. She says, those are the best because you get more pressure. Oh. And it gets more out of there as her thing. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, there's... Tina uses one of those. She still says, you should go use your netty pot. Well, you know, you're already using something better.

Oh, I guess I didn't do her voice to say. Brain, you should go use your naty pot. Oh, man. You almost brought unbalanced to the force, but you swamied that. I did. I know. By doing a different Tina voice accidentally. Hugh, we dodged a bullet, everybody. But anyways, the point is, and there's me saying the point is, I'm trying to not do that anymore. I got things like that, too, you know, I'm trying to cut down on. Yeah, we need to, we need to police each other.

You police me on, the funny thing is, and I'll police you on, the point is. The point is, yeah, we need to call each other out, have an animated gift pop up automatically every time it happens. Anyway, so at the end of the day, I'm taking these stupid giant horse pills. They're huge. Yeah. Really? They're so big. They got like, I don't know, 25 point type on them.

They're so big. It's just huge pills. But they're supposed to be kind of standard. They're supposed to be standard. They're not bothering me and not having any issues with them or, you know, any kind of sensitivities. And it should be good in a couple days, you know. It's a 10-day run, but, you know, she says within three, two, three days with a bad sinus infection, you should be seeing, you know, light a day. And I said, all right, thanks.

And I did sleep pretty good last night. I couldn't really breathe very well, but I slept better. I was all, my paranoia, Brian, was that I was going to wake up yesterday, get ready for that appointment, and go, I feel better today. And if this is leaving me now, and after all of this, right, right, it's, yeah, exactly. Now it's on its way out and you've, you know, expended all this energy in time. And, uh, it's so irritated, but, um, but it wasn't. It got worse. So it was fun. I guess. Anyway, the, uh, yeah, DJ Stangle. I'm not kidding. I wish I had them here. They're huge pills. They're like,

Maybe they just generics are bigger or something. Let me see if I have a comparison. It's almost the size of this end of this cable dongle. Wow. Yeah. What? Yeah. It's like a great big, not that wide.

The length, but not the width. That, yes, the length and then the width is about the same as the length. But they're that big. Okay. If you pictured that square, like half of that wide, that's how big it'd be. Jeez. Yeah, it's a big, big pill. I'm a six-foot-three guy.

I make big things seem small. if you know what I'm saying I do anyway hey Scott I got to tell you man I lost I lost the game the game we're all playing oh no no yeah yeah so Monday night

and I'll think people are like what game well I get to that people Monday night Tina and Tristan and I went to this thing called Christmas in color and I'm sure there are these everywhere right because there's already two in Colorado that look in the Denver

metro area that already look the same, but it is basically a way of seeing Christmas lights, but still maintaining social distancing. You're kind of experiencing the thing that you would normally do as like a group and go to some sort of like event to look at it, but you're self-contained. You're basically in a car, in your own car, driving through a little path that's made on a an open area thing like in this case it happens to be a parking lot at bandamere speedway the um the local race track oh those are good parking lots big parking huge parking lot yeah if there's one thing hey if there's one thing race fans like it's cars of their own they really are big fans yeah

they're right exactly they love that stuff yeah they do so it's it's like this whole big area mapped out and then you're going through tunnels and through um quote unquote weeds and quote unquote light or you know or snowman or things like that um all lit up all synchronized with an fm track that's constantly playing so this constant fm playlist is going on and it's all synchronized with these lights so as you go through this tunnel the lights are spinning it looks like the tunnel is spinning around you turn off your headlights you turn off your your daytime running lights all that stuff and just drive very, very slowly, as slowly as the person in front of you through this thing. And it's playing, all I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey, the little drummer boy,

the chipmunks. And what's cool is they've got the snowman and the Santa Claus, have a little LED mouths, and they sing along or talk along with the songs. Do you want to build a snowman, etc, et cetera, et cetera. If anyone's plenty on going to one of these, check Groupon because you can save about 20 bucks. And the four of us in one car, we paid about 20 bucks to do it, or 18, I think.

Not bad. It's good. No, it's totally, you know what? I was thinking how this is going to be lame. The kids wanted to do it. I thought, that's going to be kind of lame. I actually really got a kick out of it. And they did an amazing job with the parts of it that you drive through where the lights are almost acting in

like a 3D kind of effect on your car and it's kind of cool that sounds good we have a thing here called uh is it the parade of shit i forget some kind of something of lights and it's a similar thing you're in your car it's a bunch of old farm space uh the point of the mountain and you drive through this thing is super pretty and all that i haven't done any of that this year i really probably ought to do some of that it's actually you know i was thinking it was going to be really lame. It was totally worth it with the Groupon. If I paid the $40 per car, I don't know if I would have thought

it was as worth it. But for the four of us, 20 bucks, totally, totally great. We went and got dinner afterwards. Went back to that Golden Mill dining hall, which was excellent. Really, really good.

Nice. Very nice. And these dining halls are everywhere there for you. You guys got a tons of them. They are. They are like, they are springing up like crazy around me. there are four within a 15 minute drive

or where I'm at or 20 minute drive That's a lot There's a lot Yeah And they're great Much better food than you get With the orange Julius

Sabaro food court Although that sounds All right to me right now But that might be the car Yeah right That said While I was driving through Sure enough

Last Christmas The Wham version played. Oh, no. And I lost, I lost, I'm out of the contest, Jerry. Why am we getting? It's over. Brian walked in like Kramer and slammed his money on the table. I did. I said, I'm out of the contest. Oh, man. I'm no longer the master of my domain.

So yesterday, when Kim and I were driving somewhere, she says, I'm flipping around channels. And there was a Christmas channel. I go, you usually have this on this time here. Why are you not playing me Christmas music? She goes, we're trying to win the contest, dear. This is perfect for you because you love the streak games. This is a streak game. How many days in a row can you go? I love the streak, dude. For real.

Yeah. I just lost my sinus infection streak. It was 15 years. I haven't puked in 15. It was almost the same time. The same year, actually. I get a sworn you've had another sinus infection since we've done the show. I've been sick, but never a full-on infection.

I did have bronchitis. technically that was 2013 so I have a streak with bronchitis I haven't had it since technically it was 2013 how about non like non technically was it another year or well and then the first time I got strep and only time I've had strep was 2016 okay so I'm doing all right you know got a good run so no sinus infection okay yeah so I'm gonna see how much longer I can go I still haven't puked do you think I'm gonna puke this year chat room I don't know I don't think so oh god no you're not going to puke this year I got nothing to puke over. No, exactly. I'm good. We're trying to avoid people anyway, so I'm not going

to get some of this disease. We'll tackle that in Vegas. Everybody's going to try to make me puke in Vegas now. Damn it. It's nothing. Who needs a challenge coin? We have a new challenge. It's make Scott puke. Great. Can't freaking wait. All right. We're going to do something fun. You're ready for this? Yeah. I'm excited about this. I am too. We got something we haven't told anyone else about. And normally it's going to be on Thursdays. So it's a little weird today because we're kind of off a day, but let me play a little music and see what you guys think. Here you go.

That sound means only one thing. It's time for a brand new segment called Red Amentals. Until we find a better name, I don't know. Maybe it's okay. Maybe it'll work, but join us on the line if you will. Red Fragel, a.k.a. Amy, joining us as she will each and every Thursday

moving forward. Hi, Amy. How are you? Oh, I don't hear it. Oh, no. Well, there we go. All right, off to a... I didn't test any audio ahead of time. I probably should have done that. Shouldn't this be pronounced redimentals? Because, A, she's red fraggle.

Oh, that's not bad. And then you could still do R-E-A-D. Uh-huh. To keep it pronounced the same, but redimentals. Okay. I'm in. She's doing some muting, some unmuting. I can see it.

Okay. All right, good. Yeah. And still nothing. Don't hear anything. Checking. Checking. Amy there.

I should, I mean, I always usually check these things before. I just didn't do it. Yeah, yeah. Well, we thought she was professional, I guess. Bookerides, says to you. Buccarides. I don't know if that one rings as well. Hi, Amy there.

I see her mic muting and unmuting, but I don't, I don't hear. All right, here's what we'll do. I'll pause for a second. The show will pause. A real mic, but we'll take you. Yeah, we'll take you no matter how we get you. It's fine. I am on my room.

I'm so mad. So I set. Everything up. I had my old voiceover mic and its little house that I put it in to keep, you know, room noise out. I had my cans on and everything and I tested it out. And I don't freaking know what happened. Well, you know what's good. This is what's good for your heart. And this is what's good for your heart. This is what's good for your heart is to have that happen in real time and then know the kind of scramble you just went through. That is a real bummer. I apologize. Well, we could have worked. We'll all lay on our side so we can look at our video. Oh, there it goes. I would play, I'd blame it on your producer, which in this case is me, and I didn't test anything before him. So, don't feel bad. I plugged into Discord and everything, and I did the whole, you know, go to the settings and make sure, okay, yeah, I can hear my own voice coming back.

And I even, I called my husband on Discord and said, hey, you can. Yeah. Yeah, no, but I don't know, whatever. Discord and new ideas. That's okay. Well, you know, having you on an iPad's better than. not have any at all. So we're glad to have it. Exactly. That's why I figured I was like, okay, this is right here. I'll just pop off and then pop back on. Well, to give us,

give us an idea of the kind of reader you are before we give any recommendations because I think that'd be interesting to people. You're obviously a big reader, but like, I don't know, what do you enjoy? What's the genres you end up spending most of your time in? Oh, well, that's a great question. So I read a lot of things like speculative fiction, science fiction and fantasy things but I also do a lot of nonfiction particularly if it's funny I read a lot of things like the bloggist and stuff like that

but I'll save some of that because I have a whole list for this segment so I don't want to spoil too much but yeah I mean I read lots of I read lots of stuff and I actually end up recommending a lot of books to my husband that like a lot of people haven't read before and he's like I've never heard of this book I'm like, oh, you got to read it, it's great.

So, you know, just random stuff that a lot of people maybe haven't heard of. But today is going to be a little more mainstream than that. People are probably going to be like, oh, I tuned in to hear this recommended. I read it five times. But I thought it was probably timely because it's a good recommendation for the holidays is Terry Pratchett's Hogfather. It's what I wanted to bring. I never read, I feel like an idiot because I've never read a Discworld book. I haven't read any of his anything.

And everyone says, you're an idiot. You should be reading Terry Pratchett. What's wrong with you? So I'm really glad to hear this. Okay, sorry. I've even gotten recommendations from people saying, if you haven't read any ring world, here's, or Disc World, here's where you start. And I still haven't done it.

Yes. Well, so it's funny. I'll actually, I'll see if I can, I can send Scott this, this image that I have. there is a recommended reading order for Discworld because a lot of people have that same problem that you were you were having there, Scott, where it's like, my husband included, you know, a lot of people are really intimidated because Terry Pratchett was so prolific. I mean, there are 41 novels in this world. Like, it's a lot.

It is. And it can be very intimidating. And my husband had read, I think, the first, the first novel in the series, which is called the color of magic and hated it, did not like it at all. And so when he and I started dating and he asked me like, you know, what kind of stuff do you like to read? And I said, oh, I love Terry Pratchett. And he was like, really? Because I don't. And I said, no, no, no, don't read the color of magic. It's garbage. Because even Sir Terry Pratchett, when he was alive, recommended starting with the third

book in the series, which is called Sorcery. I think those first two books, in the Discworld series, which are the color of magic and the like fantastic. They're kind of like the early Simpsons episodes where... Oh, okay. It's like season one. It's like a bad pilot and the first three episodes of any season of anything are kind of garbage in retrospect. That's sounds like that's what this is.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, you know, it's kind of like in those early Simpsons episode, you know, they're very bark-centric, right? And that was before they had figured out that Homer was, was the money man, right? like Homer was where all the good stuff was. They haven't figured that out yet. And so the same with Terry Pratchett. He hadn't figured out that death was actually the protagonist and shouldn't be the villain.

And so, and he's a much more interesting character than, you know, Rincewind, who is the main character of those first couple of novels. Oh, my gosh. There's so many of these. I just was looking on Goodreads. Are there really 83 that are either straight up Discworld novels or connected to Discworld like folklore backup novels? novels and stuff like that. That is a lot. That's a lot. There's short stories. There's illustrated novels. There are there are little kids books actually. There's um there's one little kid's book called Where's My Cow? Which is a hilarious. I actually got it for my son when he was

a baby and you know, I used to read it out loud to him and it's it's it kind of goes along with a full novel. Um, because one of the characters reads it to reads that same book to his son every night and and then like when he's in a situation where he can't get home in time to read it to him he starts sort of reciting it and going a little bit crazy it's really fun how yeah it's really it's really fun um but yeah there is a ton and that's what's great is if you if you get into some of the terry pratchit stuff even though sadly he has passed on there's plenty there's there is tons of stuff that you can you can get into and enjoy and yeah there are is a little bit of a reading order to it and and there's some stuff that that it builds on

itself plot wise but you really don't have to get hung up on reading it in order um it it you can jump in pretty much wherever and he's going to set the stage for it he does a wonderful job of building the world and um and it's it's a it's a really this world is a really great place to escape into you hey you guys is there a cooler gift than a really great band on your finger I say to you, nay. There is no cooler gift. I freaking love a good ring. Manly bands helps men, like me and many of you, find wedding bands that fit their personality, their budget, and they do it all with unique and stylish designs. Can confirm wearing mine right now. You start the process with manly bands by getting their manly ring-sizer to ensure that it will fit you perfectly during work and play. Very simple app approach. I really like that. Once you know your size, then comes the fun. And you get to choose from their wide selection of materials like gold, wood, steel, antler, even dinosaur bone. How cool is that?

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I'm not just saying that. I'm wearing it. One of my least favorite things in the world are, you know, top 10 or top 50 lists because generally speaking, you can't, it's only going to work for whoever agrees with that list and everyone's got different opinions. But according to the data on. goodreads, which is positive reviews versus negative reviews. Terry Pratchett's Nightwatch, which is Discworld Book 29. Oh, it's tied actually with City Watch number six. So they're claiming

book 29 and book six are the best books to get. And then they go down from there. You wouldn't recommend reading it in that order, right? That'd be weird because they don't stand alone in that way, or do they? Yeah. I mean, you, so not. Nightwatch is by far one of the best books in the entire series, for sure. But I think you would, there's a lot that you'd be, there's a lot you'd be missing. There's a lot of background on some of the guards characters that you wouldn't necessarily get. You wouldn't understand why Sam Vimes, who is the protagonist of Nightwatch, you wouldn't necessarily get why he's motivated to do things the way he is if you haven't read the rest of the guards novels.

So, yeah, I'll see if I can send you this, there's this great little Discworld reading order guide, and so maybe we can share it in the chat. But I'll send you that because it is actually really good, because it breaks down, Discworld is a whole bunch of worlds all in one. So there's the series of witches, there's all the books about death, and death is a great character. Death is like if data were also the Grim Reaper. Okay. You know, like he's like fascinated with humans and what makes humans humans and almost to an unhealthy degree because he's then also responsible for, you know, reaping their souls when they die. And so it's a really, it's really entertaining. And if you've read Good Omen, it's a very similar character to death.

good omens. Okay. Yeah. And I have read that and seen, obviously, the show. And that was a collaboration between him and Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman. Yeah. Right.

And I always wondered how much, because that's the only Pratch that I've been exposed to. So I wondered how much of that was him or how much of that was gaming. In tone and stuff, these Discworld games are games. I keep saying games. You really want a video game, don't you? I really do. Are there any Discworld games or probably? Man, I would love for there to be.

That would be awesome. I've heard people talk about that forever. Like an MMO, somebody should make an MMO based on Discworld, which could be really cool. But anyway, would you say it's closer? Like, what's his style? Is it closer to like Douglas Adams? Or is it closer to, I don't know. I can't think of another contemporary.

Neil Gaiman. Or Neil Gaiman. Yeah, let's say that. So you got Neil Gaiman here and you got Douglas Adams. Douglas Adams is all about irony, humor, satire. I mean, it's story and characters, but they're telling, you know, they're, he's also teaching us something it's philosophical in all those ways and I in my head I put Terry Pratchett in that category but am I wrong to do that no I think I think you're you're spot on there like I think it is hard for me because

I read also a lot of Neil Gaiman and I try every time I read Good Omens which is kind of an embarrassing number of times um I find myself trying really hard to pick out which is which like who wrote which part and and I can't ever tell um they did and apparently they did so much the way that they wrote good omens they did so much back and forth um that it really all got very jumbled up in the end anyway um so because they were they wrote that when they were they were just two dudes messing around writing a book you know they weren't deal damon and terry pratchett yeah um so they were yeah yeah exactly um so yeah i would say that it's he he's terry pratchett's tone and whatnot it's it does lean a little more towards the douglas adam side it's all very he's got very tongue-in-cheek

kind of dry british humor um and you know and and he and there is kind of a a philosophy involved like for instance hogfather which is the one that i was recommending for today um it's sort of Discworld's take down of Christmas because, you know, everything has an analog in Discworld. It's not, it's not, none of the stuff is actually the same, but there's always an analog for it.

Sure. So, you know, in Discworld, they have Hogs Watch instead of Christmas, and so kids leave out their stockings and like the Hogfather, who's literally like a giant pig in a Santa suit, pumps and leave some pork pies, you know, in their stockings and, you know, and also clothes and

our toys. Is it bad that I feel like I may prefer his version? It sounds all right. I know, right? It's great. Well, and instead of milk and cookies, like, I think you leave out like a sniffer of brandy for the Hawkfather. I don't know if I'm remembering that correctly or not, but, um, yeah, so, so the

Hogfather talks a lot about like the structure of and the importance of belief and and like kind of the power of belief and how how what you believe frames your reality and so on this world whatever you believe is real so children who believe that there is a boogeyman under their bed there is a boogeyman under their bed and you know so and then when we, when we grow up, you know, it's, we have to believe in the little things when we're little so that when we grow up, we can believe in big things that don't really exist, like, justice. Right. Exactly.

So, Wayne, is it, so is this, I mean, would you call it qualify this as science fiction, qualify it as fantasy, some kind of cross in between? Fantasy. Okay. It's definitely fantasy. Yeah, because there's, I mean, there's magic and there's, you know, Um, you know, in Discworld, there's, there are witches and wizards. And in fact, wizards show up a bunch in Hawkfather. And the wizards are really funny. They're, they're really goofy kind of bumbling characters. Um, but yeah, it's, um, it's great. And, uh, you know, the, like, tooth fairies are flying around and things like that. But the tooth fairies are more like the postal service. Like, there's not, there's not one tooth fairy. There's like a whole tooth fairy enterprise. Yeah. Are they, um, are they? also all screwed up and everything's late right now?

Well, that's, I don't want to give too much away, but yeah, the tooth fairy. Oh, interesting. Play a pivotal role, yes. And, yeah, so there's a shortage of tooth fairies. Oh, there is a, there is a Discworld video game. Let's see, Discworld, the trouble with dragons, graphic adventure. So these were text-based. Oh, no, this is graphic.

So it's more like a point-and-click thing. This came out in a- like King's Quest kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I think kind of like that. Lucas arts. Yeah, good comparison. Let's see. This is I'm trying to find a date.

So it's older. I would, I would, I just think maybe now's the time to approach that work with, you know, modern ideas in mind. I think they could really make something.

And I know so little about it. I just know that it's beloved by the fans. People, you know, freak out about it. But it's pretty crazy to hear people say, don't read the first book of a famous series. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, definitely. No. I mean, like I say, even the author says just skip it like the color of magic and the light fantastic

don't just don't even bother why is that do you think you just felt like he wasn't quite the writer he would be or what was the problem well okay so I can tell you my opinion because I read them both and my opinion on it is they were they still

both had kind of like that Terry Pratchett quality to them where there was the humor coming out but I think he was laying it on a little too thick and none of the characters, you didn't really like any of the characters. Those first

two books had what, back in the late 90s, early 2000s, remember how indie movies were trying to be really, really realistic to the point where by the end of the movie, you hated everybody in the movie. Kind of yeah, I didn't. And there was literally nobody to like in

a movie, and so I used to call that indie movie disease. And those first two Discworld, novels kind of for me kind of suffer from indie movie disease like I just don't like anybody in them um and you know rinse wind is this wizard who's even more of a bungling idiot than the rest of the wizards in this world and um but he can't he can't cast any spells because he like this big giant spell that takes up his whole brain got stuck in his brain and but every time he almost almost dies, the spell almost comes out and says itself and he escapes from death. So he pisses death off a lot. That sounds like fun. I think this sounds like a great time.

I know somebody in the chat posted something about this and I looked it up on INDB. There is a Hogfather TV movie to come out in 06. I think it was a BBC thing. Yes, and it's available on Amazon Prime. And it's actually really good. I've seen a couple of other Terry Pratchett adaptations that weren't so great. But it is really, really true to the source material. And it's a really good watch.

And it's, you know, like I say, it's fun because it's all very holiday-centric. It's got a great cast. Michelle Dockery, David Warner. It's got 7.5 on freaking, what is this, IMPD. I mean, that's pretty good. I don't know. Look, I'm sick of this crap. Kim's watching.

Maybe I'll watch this. Yeah. I was actually going to suggest that, you know, that is a holiday thing that you would enjoy that you could totally get Kim to watch and it would be fun because it's it is it is holiday centric it's got all the holly and jolly and other things that rhyme with ollie and uh nice i'm into it um trying to see where it's available to be acorn pluto imdb tv oh she said uh amazon prime oh you said prime oh you said prime okay cool oh they don't show it on the just watch doesn't have it on prime weirdly oh weird they could be wrong they're wrong sometimes i've noticed i've had a few where it's like wait you said alien three

was here. And then it is there, but it's not on me there. And you know, and you were saying the first, uh, the color of magic you can skip. What about, did you see the color of magic, uh, 2008 film with Tim Curry and Sean Aston? What? I did. And, oh, you still was a series. Okay. That's a weird, Sean Aston is such a weird choice for that character because he's supposed to be, he's, so, all right. That's another problem with those first couple of stories is there's it's a little racist like there's a great like the character that Sean Aston is playing is this guy named two flower and he's supposed to be like a stereotypical Asian tourists like if that's he's that's the way he's written in the story is

like he's got a giant what disc world passes for a camera like cameras like cameras exist in this but like you know it's a box with an imp in it who comes out and paints a picture you know, that kind of thing. And he's, you know, he wears loud Hawaiian shirts and he's, you know, so Sean Afton was a weird casting choice for that. I think maybe they were trying to lean away from the fact that it was supposed to be a take down of that stereotype. But I don't know. That one didn't work for me because, A, I mean, you would think it would because it didn't stick very closely to the source material. a lot of stuff where I was like, that didn't happen in the book, which you would think would make

it better, but because I don't, depends on which direction they go. Yeah. Let's see, we make something that's worse than the first couple bucks. Yeah, that's true. Right. But you don't think it's a problem. You start with three and you're good. You don't need to do anything else, right?

Exactly. Yeah. And I sent you in the, I don't know if you see in the Discord, there's the, this reading order. It, like, it looks like a, you know, like a role-playing games map, you know. but but um but it is really great and you can there's a whole series on the guards and you can follow them and i mean i gobbled up all the guards books one night after the other um they're fantastic the first disc world novel i ever read was actually thief of time and it's like right in the middle um doesn't you know i didn't follow that whole path or anything and i was like i don't know

what's going on but i'm into this um and uh You know, so, and I really enjoyed that. Small gods is also really good. Small gods is one if you're really into the whole philosophy of things. Yeah. That one is a really good one to read because it's less, it's less about the tongue-in-cheek humor and more about, like, making you think about kind of, again, the power of belief and how, if, you know, if somebody believes something, then for them it is really true.

Yeah. A disc world's like flat earth. It's like a flat earther. People are into the flat earth. You believe it hard enough. Yeah. Like, this world is a flat earth. And in fact, the part of the plot of small gods is that there is a, there's this like heretic sect that believes that the earth is round.

And, you know, it just turns that whole, that whole thing on its, on its ear. Well, I love it. I'm, I've been meaning to for years. It's time to do it, I think. think it's finally time to maybe pick those up. And I'll start with, like you, if you're suggesting three, I'll just begin there and go from there, right? That's how I should do it.

Yeah, I mean, that's, that was what Terry Pratchett suggested. Now, I think, you know, you can pretty much pick up any of these books from wherever. And they, he does a pretty good job of introducing you to everything. So you can't really go wrong. But if you want to start, Terry Pratchett suggested starting with the book, Sorcery. but that one again that's got rinse wind and it's kind of

I don't like Prince Wind as a character I love the watch novels Scott I think you will really like the guards novels like the watch novels so if you want to start with that you could start with guards guards

and they are kind of stand alone I don't have to self-contained self-contained yeah oh yeah they are all they are all like self-contained stories I mean the character development continues throughout the novels

but you know you certainly don't have to you know it's it's not where you know they don't leave you on a cliffhanger they wrap everything he wraps everything up oh good well I can't be having no cliffhangers anymore in my life so I'm well great that's awesome uh anything else you want to mention today um yeah so if you want to uh you know you got a few more days I can probably if anybody wants to order some peepers um from peepersuppets.com all right um I have a I have a few more days where I can actually probably get them to a few orders. A perfect stocking stuffer. They are a perfect stocking stiffer.

Little handheld puppets. Yeah, I'll see. You know what else is good? Amy's a good follow on TikTok. So if you're on TikTok, go search for a red fraggle. I think it's just Red Fraggle 3 again on TikTok. Yeah, I'm Red Fraggle 3 on TikTok. And I'm actually about to start a new series on TikTok where a puppet and I do a reading

of my hashtag that I created years ago called Chuck Says Weird Stuff. Oh, very nice. Because my husband is really good at saying things that sound really strange out of context. And so I just type them up and put them on Twitter. And then I go back years later and they're really funny because I don't remember the context. That's great. That sounds right. So I'm going to start a TikTok series called Chuck Says Weird Stuff where a puppet and I sit there and read his old

Chuck says weird stuff. I love it. I love it. That's great. That's very cool. Well, all right then. We're really glad to be doing this with you. It's fun.

I like books. Thanks. Thanks for having me. I'm, and I, you know, between now and next week, we'll see if I can get my audio straightened down. Yeah, we'll figure all that out. I didn't even, I mean, I probably should have anyway. I just didn't think about it. I was too excited about having you on and then we just skipped over the tech.

The whole technical process. Making sure it'll work, yeah. But anyway, it's been great having you on. Next week, we'll do it again. It'll be Thursday this time. everybody and if any of you out there have books you want to throw at us or recommendations that we can throw past Amy before we do shows and that sort of thing let us know the morning stream at gmail.com Amy have a fantastic weekend. Thanks you too. Bye. See Amy. All right. That's cool. I like it.

I'm into books. Good segment. I like it. Yep. I got book. All my favorite things get talked about on the show. Books, comic books, movies, TV. What else can I, video games? What else do I need? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, man. And Thursday's quickly turning into highbrow, right? Like, it's books and therapy. Yeah, very highbrow. It's supposed to comic books and making shit. Yep. Think of Amy as the waiting room where you're reading some awesome book and then they say, Wendy's ready for you, and then you get up and you go and get your therapy.

And then at the end, we say, I'm sorry, our time is up. Oh, but I'll bill you $300 for that hour. All right. Yeah. Hey, I'm going to play a mashup. How about that? Yes. Sounds good. How about that? We're going to finish things out today with a rad mashup from our friends, or our friend, rather, TMS mashups, Jamie Brand, who made this thing.

And it's called Undocking Your Elk. This is a BII, which stands for, hold on. Brian had been impersonation. Oh, there we go. Oh, good. Brian, you excited? This is you, man. I am excited.

Well, I'm excited and nervous because sometimes I hear those and think, uh, who the hell is that supposed to be? Yeah, no kidding, right? Yeah. But here it is now. And I imagine the listeners really think that. Some of them, but most of them are wrong. So here's you doing a bunch of those.

Enjoy. It's brown beard. Here to board my ship and take my booty. Step aside. I've come for your booty. Ah, how you're doing there today? My name is Colin Bryan. Oh in the middle.

Colin O Brian. The O stands for orgasm. No, I don't know what it is. would be. The big old. The big O'Brien. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're coming in. Yeah, you got, it's not at the courthouse, though. It's over here. We need used to be at the courthouse in nine o'clock. You better bring a piece. I don't know if he was pretending to be a badass or something. I couldn't tell. It's pretty badass.

It was a badass little pistol he had there. We were on in press band. You know, there was no safety button. Hey, Marge, guess how many boobs I saw today? Thirteen. My player's card. And I can't get it out. Let me pull harder.

No! Oh, no! Oh, look at your wieners growing under the bubble of water. I can't believe that you heft in there would pay to be put next to Maryland Monroe. What a dick. I was starting to chafe. So I had to get Alfred to come pick me up. Yep, that red squirrel come behind, run all the front of the front.

You damn squirrels always run, right? Speaking of my judge. Well, he'd come up with some kiss-branded flash. drives. Oh, this is a great idea, Gene. Let's get on this. Why haven't we done this before? What is a flash drive anyway? What is it? I'm Paul Stanley. You were so busy, I'm wondering if you could. You didn't even stop to think if you should. You are going to have really hairy deer on this dinosaur car. That aerial. Yeah, she had seashells. But only when she's got legs. Yeah. Not when she's half fish. Yeah, I don't like half fish, but she got seashells on her boobies. Yeah. Yeah, why is it? She doesn't know what a fork.

his hair. Good poll. I forgot about that bit with the fork. The saint protected me from catching COVID. Why are they cutting his antlers and not the thing? What? It wouldn't have fitted off? It wouldn't have fitted off, says Clare Jack. What does that mean? English, please. Look. It wouldn't have fit it off. Unduck your elk. So Steve's he gone.

Great as usual. That was awesome. Oh, my God. Some of those just kind of generic, makes me feel better, right? When they're not supposed to sound like a certain person. I mean, as J.K. Grammar, my Jeff Goldblum always devolves into Jimmy Stewart. I need to figure out the secret sauce that separates the two because they are very similar. Maybe you start out as Jimmy Stewart and it evolves into Jeff Goldberg.

Oh, look at you. Like, turn it around the other way. That's right. Yeah. Life lesson. Life lesson learned, everyone, right now. That's right. Wow. Well, we've done a show, and you've all been here. Thank you for being here.

Sorry about the weird up and off things this week. We had the COVID test. It's all me. Brian's fine. Brian did nothing out of than ordinary. I had my butt examined last week, and we missed a show for that, but that's it. Yeah, mine was just a, it's always boarding. I know most people do morning things.

I know that's how appointments work. I get it. Yeah. And we're weird because we do this thing and whatever, but. Most people take their lunch break or whatever, but not us. We make a show in the morning. Anyway, we're glad to have done it. Don't forget, normally this PM edition of the show is only available for patrons on Fridays.

So if you want to be a part of that, you've got to go to patreon.com slash TMS. Think of this as a free little taster today. Oh, little taster. Sample. Sample? You want free sample? You want free sample? How long has that chicken been on that plate? No, no free sample? Okay.

Anyway, if you want part of that, you got to go to Patreon.com. slash TMS. There's no other way to do it. Frogpants.com slash TMS for everything else. Brian, grand tradition says we need to go now and you have to play a song. What is it? We do. One quick thing before we go in about half an hour, because it's always after TMS PM. I've got guess the connection. Big, big prize, couple of funco pops still mint and box. I'm going to be giving away today because this one's a challenge. This one is going to be very difficult. So if somebody gets this, they're going to be earning a really good prize. So that'll be

in about half an hour at Twitch.tv slash coverval. forgot where my channel was. Twitch.tv slash coverval. That happens. It's all good. Okay. Now, let's get to this. Daryl in Ohio Rodin said,

hello, Scort and Byron. December 3rd, marked my 10-year anniversary with my wonderful, beautiful wife. I hope the tadpool will help us celebrate with many more years to come, and enjoy this amazingly raucous cover of the Magnetic Field song

100,000 Fireflies, performed by the masters of using guitar feedback as a note, Superchunk, requesting this song for a Monday show because Dunaway, Bill, and Stephen are my favorite. Oh, sorry. Major Spoiless for President, 24, hashtag. Okay, Darrell in Ohio. Well, guess what, I didn't? I'm playing it

today, and I hope you like that. This is, so congratulations on your anniversary on your 10-year anniversary. I guess that is the firefly anniversary. Here is 100,000 fireflies originally by magnetic fields. This is from Superchunk. I have a mandolin.

I'm playing on a long. It makes me want to kill myself. to have a dark There's no mountain range Shands like the mountain range Rangin' When I turn up the tone On my electric guitar

I'm Afraid of the dark Without you close to me I afraid of the dark without you I went out in the forest car A hundred thousand fireflies

As they were stood out my room They remind me Your starry eyes Someone else might not I made this so sad This is the worst night I've never had Because I

Afraid of the dark Without you close to me I'm Afraid of the dark Without you close to me You won't be happy with me, give me one more chance. Why do we step in here? And this repulsive town

I have a friend to him Oh Why do we keep freaking When we miss our face I should be whispering all the time This show us part of the Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com. What kind of a deal?

What kind of a deal?