The New Yorker Radio Hour - Foraging for a Salad in Central Park

Episode Date: August 15, 2017

Patricia Marx goes foraging in Central Park, and Kathryn Schulz recommends a country music album, a poet, and a movie about magicians.   New Yorker Radio Hour listeners, we want to hear from you.  We have a few questions about the show and how you listen to it. The survey takes about twenty minutes, and your feedback will help us make our podcast better.  Take the survey here.

From One World Trade Center in Manhattan, this is the New Yorker Radio Hour, a co-production of the New Yorker and WNYC Studios. Hello, and welcome to the rent-stabilized apartment of Todd Neasel. I'm Debbie, a specialist in Todd Neasel, and I'm going to be your guide. Before you begin your journey through the world of Todd Neasel and his stuff, may I ask you to reduce the volume on your acoustic guide player to a polite level? The woman in 12A has had a B in her bonnet about me ever since I, Debbie, well, okay, yes, a tiny bit drunk, mistook her door for Todd Neasles late one night and Jimmy did open. You are standing in Todd Neasel's foyer. The faux-foam marble table on your right is attributed to Todd Neasel's mother,

circa last Christmas. Take a moment to look through the mail. There should be a lot of it because Todd Neasel is away, skiing in Vermont with his brother. Is there a letter postmarked Milwaukee? Just curious. Proceed through the foyer and into the master bedroom. Examine the object in the master bedroom. Here is the famous jar of pennies

and the original green shag rug from Todd Niesel's college days. Pay close attention to the black lace brazier in the bottom drawer of Todd Niesel's bureau. You may be wondering what that brassiere is. doing in this exhibit of the world of Todd Neasel and his stuff. I, Debbie, am wondering this too. We are now in the commodious coat closet in Todd Neasel's foyer. Our eyes are drawn immediately to the striking composition of the skis and the parka against the back wall. This is a stunning visual statement about a man who is supposed to be on vacation, skiing with his brother, isn't it?

After you have scrolled through the caller ID log on the phone in the study, looking for Todd Niesel's brother's number to see if Todd Niesel really went to Vermont, place a prank call to Sue and Craftsau. She lives in Milwaukee, and she's in the book. Just past the doorway, you'll see a framed photograph. The subject of this photograph has not been identified with certainty, but Todd Niesel scholars, like me, Debbie, believe that it depicts Sue and Cramp. craft sow. Get a knife from the drawer next to the sink. When you pry the backing from the

picture frame, a photograph of me, Debbie, will be revealed. Compare the two images. It would be unscholarly of me, Debbie, to point out the obvious aesthetic differences. But you, the viewer, can draw your own conclusions. We have come to the end of our retrospective of the world of Todd Neasel and his shit. You can return your acoustic guide in the foyer. If you enjoyed yourself, call Todd Neasel and tell him so. He can be reached at 3 a.m. He likes pizza, 10 pies at a time, and Rizzo's Delivers.

Audio tour performed by Stephanie Jansen. That's a story written by Patricia Marks, who's been contributing to the New Yorker since 1989, and as a reporter and as a storyteller, she is always game for everything. And we're about to hear just how game she is. I'm Patty Marks for the New Yorker Radio Hour. A long time ago, like 2011, it used to be that foodies scored the highest bragging points by eating stuff from impossibly inaccessible corners of the world.

Today, on the other hand, the most fashionable food is local. In fact, the closer to your apartment that it was born and raised, the better. I like to be up on the latest trends. Call me a follower. This is how a couple of weeks ago, my producer, Stephen and I, found ourselves rooting around for edibles

on a foraging tour of Central Park. Here it has come back. Here, you get a whole bunch of shoots. So this tour was led by a guy named Steve Brill. Okay, who can tell me which mustard this one is? Who's a naturalist, who's been taking people on these walks, for decades. He is in his 60s and he wears a pith hat. The leaves and seed pods have very little flavor, but the flower tastes like broccoli. Who likes broccoli? I think he sees himself to Central Park

what Mr. Rogers was to the neighborhood. His co-guide is his exuberant 11-year-old daughter Violet. If you bite right into the middle of the plant, then there's a burst of nectar. who knows a lot about edible plants, and when she imparts this knowledge, she tends to jump up on the rocks and the trees. Okay, everyone, this is sassafras. The roots you can use to make tea. She reminded me of a vegan Shirley Temple.

I have to admit that while I like nature, if I'm in it too long, I get a little bored. So foraging adds an element of shopping to just walking through the park. The other thing about foraging that I find appealing is that salad bars in Manhattan are like $8.99 a pound. This is why Stephen and I return to Central Park to test our knowledge.

What is that green over there? Save money on greens. I just kind of feel like a goat right now. And try to build a salad that wouldn't kill us before dessert. Maybe we can get those people to taste it over there and see if they survive. I don't think this is filled garlic. Really? It sort of smells onion-y to me.

It does? I'm going to taste it, should I? It's filled garlic. I'll take a little. Let me get the bag out. Okay, I'll cover you. I should say that what we're doing is illegal. You're not allowed to remove plants from Central Park. And in fact, in I think 1986, Steve Brill was handcuffed and arrested for removing a dandelion from the lawn of Central Park,

but he was let off because he'd eaten the evidence. Hemlock. It's either hemlock or parsley. I think that that's hemlock. Baby hemlock, okay. With all this hemlock, you'd think there'd be more dead dogs around here. All right, this is the day lily. Well, it's hard to know.

This is the day, lulling with a flower. It might be. There are those hollow, dried-up sticks. There's something, aren't they? Mm-mm-mm. No? You know, I do feel it might be a little early in the season. I feel like we're here before the store opens.

I think this is not wood and a thing next to it. Hold on. Are these wreaths that you can get? No, they're not. Oh, yeah, I can taste the round-up in that. Yeah. Like it? Not particularly.

No. No. If I die, I think probably the cause would be complications due to lesser self. That was too near hemlock. Burdock? No. Birdock look alike. It could be.

Your hands are small in the mind. I think you can reach through the fence and get them. We should get an F in foraging. Now, they're dandelions. Wait a minute. Are these pansies? No, I think these are crocuses. Yeah, they are crocuses.

What do you think about crocuses? I think I've seen crocuses on plates. But somehow it's. seems maybe kind of crossing the line to eat a crocus. They're so pretty. Well, they're not that pretty. Should we eat one? Well, I would feel more comfortable if we consulted the book or expert before we try and eat a crocus. Yes, let's call Violet and see what she says about crocuses. Please enjoy this horizon rain back on while your party is reached. Hi, Violet, it's Patty Marks and Steve Valentino, and we're in the park. We were on your

Foraging Tour. And we have a question about crocuses. Can we eat them? Uh-huh. Can we eat them? Crocasses? Yeah. Um, no, they're poisonous.

They are poisonous. But can we eat them? No, you cannot eat them. I'm kidding. Thanks. Bye. Bye. I don't believe her.

I think we should eat it. So are you feeling good about this salad? Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. What should we put in it? Manease. Couton. Yeah, like we could get a tomato, maybe some like little mozzarella, you think. Throw away the greens.

This is some field garlic. You want some? It's a really good specimen. It's not as good as a scallone. Well, no, it's as good as a scallion. But a lot of effort to get a scallion. You could serve it at a dinner party, and people would just think it was so expensive. It didn't taste good. It looks delicate.

I could see that on a plate, couldn't you? Yeah, that would plate. It would plate beautifully. It would plate beautifully. We should have a dinner party and serve this. And people would be so sick, you wouldn't need to have an entree. A small editor's note. Some plants were harmed in the making of that story.

That's New Yorker staff writer Patricia Marks, along with Stephen Valentino, and this is the New Yorker Radio Hour. Let's pop in now on one of my colleagues, Catherine Schultz. Catherine won a Pulitzer Prize for an article about a potentially catastrophic earthquake in the Pacific Northwest. But she writes about all kinds of things, politics, travel, culture. She's a total omnivore with a knack for making just about anything seem interesting. So needless to say, we keep her pretty busy. I don't know when you have time to read all the books that you're not reviewing,

but you seem to read them by the boatload. What's been the latest? You know, a book that is not new to the world, but is new to me, which is a 2006 posthumous volume of Elizabeth Bishop poetry called Edgar Allan Poe in the jukebox. Elizabeth Bishop was famously a perfectionist. I mean, famously someone who would literally spend decades trying to get one poem, just absolutely perfect. So there's something very pleasing, especially for an inferior but fellow perfectionist, to see the messy drafts. I found it very charming to see her in this kind of more fully human, less kind of chiseled to perfection mode. And while you were reading that, you were also... While I was reading that, well, one thing I was doing is I was watching a movie that actually came out that same year that I'd missed,

which is the Christopher Nolan movie, The Prestige. Have you seen this movie, David? Ah, well, I have an activity for you for tonight. The Bishop, yes, no, not this movie. So I, not only had I not seen this movie, I had never even heard of it. And it is, it's so wonderful. It is a movie about a rivalry between two magicians. It's set in the kind of late 19th century. And part of the pleasure of it is just like period peace pleasure.

Michael Kane is in it and Hugh Jackman. In fairness, Michael Kane's in everything. Michael Kane is in everything. He's like totally playing Michael Kane, but he's, you know, doing it well as he does. And midway through all of a sudden, David Bowie shows up playing Nicola Tesla, which is a very surprising turn of events in the plot. What's conducting the electricity? Our bodies, Mr. Angier, are quite capable of conducting and indeed producing energy.

What's great about this movie is that it is a magic trick, or the kind of contemporary magic tricks where they tell you what they're going to do and you still can't see it, you can't understand it. I mean, it tells you exactly what it's doing and you don't understand that that's what's telling you. Hookline and Singardavit. And here's the best part. it literally, plot-wise, it does the exact same thing to you twice. And you fall for it as bad the second time as you do the first time.

And I just found it as someone who watches movies for the pleasure of solving them, the inability to solve it was thrilling. And what's your other pick? My last pick, David, I think I might be one of the very few. I could be wrong, but I think I'm one of the few New Yorker staff writers who is a died-in-the-world country music fan. There's a few around the joint. Okay, I'm happy to hear that.

I'm going to take them all out for drinks. You probably know this, that Charlie Parker was awesome. also a huge country music fan. And when someone asked him why, he said, quite wonderfully, he said, for the stories, man. And he's right, right? They're narratively brilliant. You get, you know, this kind of three-minute story arc that's perfect. So here's one I've been listening to lately. I'm a big Miranda Lambert fan. I am... Okay. But she used to be with this band called The Pistol Anis, and they have a wonderful song called Trailer for Rent. See if you can cue that up. Let's pull that up on Spot. If I see what we got here.

I've got David dancing, you guys. Really, it's a good sign. It is, as you can guess, from the title. It is about a woman who's marched down to the local newspaper to take out a wanted ad or not a wanted ad, I guess a classified, putting her trailer up for rent because her relationship has fallen apart. Pre-Cre-Crexlist. Or just in a not-very-Cregless-friendly part of the country. Setting is everything.

Fantastic. Thanks a lot, Catherine. My pleasure. Staff writer Catherine Schultz on a book by Elizabeth Bishop, the movie The Prestige and country singer Miranda Lambert. That should keep you busy this weekend. That's the show. Thanks a lot for listening,

and I hope you'll join us next week. The New Yorker Radio Hour is a co-production of WNYC Studios and The New Yorker. Our theme music was composed and performed by Merrill Garbus of Toon Yards. Our story about the Commission for International Justice and Accountability was produced by Ave Carrillo,

Karen Frillman, and Eric Molinski, with original music by Alexis Quadrado. The New Yorker Radio Hour is supported in part by the Cherina Endowment Fund.