The Nick Bare Podcast - 041: Settling Into Nashville: Parenting, Marriage and New Seasons of Life

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Join Stef and I as we share our experiences and thoughts on our recent move to Nashville, navigating parenthood, and the season we're currently in. We share candid and authentic moments as we discuss our journey together and the lessons we've learned along the way. Enjoy! Save 10% at BPN Supps: https://bit.ly/nickbare10audio Follow for more:  IG: https://www.instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Keep up with Stef here: IG: https://www.instagram.com/stefany.bare/ App: Stef & Mak Training Topics: 00:00 Intro 2:10 Welcome 5:06 We’re in Nashville! 9:53 Making decisions with intuition to keep the creative spark 17:45 Building out the dream gym (G1M Club) 21:40 Our favorite parts of Nashville - farmers market and beets 28:31 Why we moved so quickly 32:06 The right decision can still be overwhelming 43:03 The sourdough story 46:00 Parenting update 53:44 The message I want to share 56:52 Managing imbalance 58:10 Sunday Salutes 1:01:56 Date nights 1:05:10 The season we’re in 1:19:50 Rapid fire

Who's writing these rules? You say, well, I can't do this, and I feel guilty for that. And I'm like, what rulebook are you following? The rulebook of social media. A rule book of comparison. Yeah. And as the phrase goes, comparison is the thief of joy. There's no rule book to life.

There's a rule book of principles and value that is the law and that is the Bible, which guides us morally. There's no rule book. that says we have to do things in a particular order or a certain way. The life that you want that provides happiness and fulfillment and joy, you are the ultimate creator in the way that is constructed. And that's the fun part. Now, before we dive into today's episode, I want to let you know our annual Black Friday sale goes live November 24th,

10 a.m. Central Standard Time until November 27th at 1159 p.m. Central Standard Time. It is 20% off the entire site and select items are 30% off. This is our biggest sale of the year. We do Black Friday every year. Very big. And this is a great opportunity. If you haven't tried any of BPN's products yet or, experimented with the brand. This is a great opportunity. We offer endurance, performance, and wellness supplements. We have a wide range and selection of apparel accessories and gear. And if you've tried the brand before and you love the products, this is a great opportunity to stock up. So Black Friday sale once a year. Guys, thanks for all the continuous support. through BPN, the content, the brand, and the mission. Now let's dive into today's episode. What's going on, guys?

And welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today, we have a special guest. It is my beautiful wife, Steph Bear. I'm back. It's been about over a year. It's been a hot minute. I'm back. New studio.

New vibes. New city. New city. I don't know if I guess last time you were on the podcast, we were already parents. Charlie was born. Yeah, I was just talking to Michaela. I think Charlie might have been like three or four months, so different. Very different.

We're seasoned now. Honestly, lots to unpack and discuss in today's episode. But Steph will be a regular returning. Guest. Will I? That was my plan. That was my plan. Awesome. We had Sally McRae, Eddie McRae and family in town this past week. The best family. They're great. The best. And we had the idea after talking to Sally and Eddie because they do a lot of episodes, just them talking about their life and what they're experiencing. And it gave us the idea that we should do that.

We should share with people, with this audience, life as we are experiencing it, not to tell people how to live their life, but to share just the journey that we are on right now and how we're navigating it. And like we said, there's no comment section. Or Steph made a mistake the other week. She went on Reddit and searched her name.

Well, I searched your name. name, which led me into a rabbit hole of a thread about me and how we're apparently getting a divorce. And, you know, it's just, it's a lot. I have this rule. I don't go. We're not getting divorced, by the way. We're not getting a divorce. I don't go into the YouTube section, the comment section.

You're really good about that. I don't go on Reddit and search my name or Let's Run, for example. What's Let's Run? It's like a running forum community. Oh, gosh. I don't do that to myself because it just, it sparks a, a few days. A spiral, which is what I went into. Self-destruction.

Yes, 100%. It's, it's toxic. It's dangerous. Yes. But sometimes, it's like once you look, you can't stop looking. But now I'm never, I'm not doing that again. But besides the point, people are crazy. and I tell myself those people are the crusties of the crusts living in the basement down by the river in a van.

True, very true. Well, we're in Nashville. As many of you people either watching or listening, probably know, we've been in Nashville for almost three months now. Yep. Or as Nick likes to say about, what do you say to people? We've been here for about 12 and a half weeks. No, I say now 90 days, but I've reached the point where I'm not. using days anymore or weeks.

You were using weeks. Like it was a newborn. That was. Because like it's... It's flying by. It's flying by. The move, it happened very quickly. And we can, we should talk about that.

It's one of the things we're going to talk about today. For sure. And when we decided we were going to move, it kind of was like this shock to us. Yeah. And it was hit the ground running. Because to give context, over this past year, Steph and I or you and me have been coming to Nashville back and forth.

Yeah, this was the plan. It was the plan. Even what's interesting is we had our annual EOS meeting with the BPN leadership team this past week. This blew my mind. Yeah. EOS is something that we have implemented into Bayer Performance Nutrition. It stands for entrepreneurial operating system. It's a system you integrate.

and implement into your business that's based off of the book, Traction by Gino Wickman. Highly recommend it for any business of any size. It's been very powerful for BPN. But every year you have a two-day dedicated annual planning meeting for the next 12 months, where you also look out into the next five and 10 years. And two weeks ago is when the BPN leadership team came in in Nashville, and we started talking about 2004, but also refining the goals and vision for five and ten years out.

And at the end of 2022, before going into 2023, one of the goals was to have a BPN Nashville satellite office. And our leadership team put that on the vision board, the goals for 2023 a year ago. And we made it happen, which was very cool to see that vision being executed and come to life. So that's a manifestation, baby. That's what I do. I'm a visionary.

Yeah. I visualize, I manifest, make it happen. Yeah. And you and I have been coming back and forth to the Nashville area for last year. We looked at Franklin. We looked at Brentwood. We looked in Nashville trying to find where we wanted to be. You want to talk about kind of that experience a little bit?

Yeah. So I love the city. I feel like in church this past Sunday, we went to Legacy. Pastor Lyle, I think he said it best. He was like, the city is full of dreamers and doers. And don't you agree? I agree. It's a special place.

If you guys didn't know, I lived here in 2017, only for a little over a year because then I met you and moved. And I fell in love with the city 10 years ago for that exact reason. It's just a special place. It just has this energy you can't really explain unless you come and feel it. And I feel like you're feeling it now. And 100%. I mean, it's creatively. Incredible. The people are incredible. It's very family oriented and focused. The food scene is good. But the energy is just, it's a, it's a, on a different level. It is. Yeah. And Austin is amazing. We love Austin. We love Austin. We will always love Austin. But I feel like this is the perfect fit for our family and our long-term goals. And I think where we're at right now, where we're living. It's been such a lifestyle shift. We're walking to restaurants. We're walking to coffee. Tarley is playing outside in the leaves. Again, Texas is great. But this is definitely more of my vibe. I feel so happy here. And I've never been more excited for it's around the corner. It's just a very inspiring place. And I feel like it has been a nutty last

six months. And it's been some of the most emotional six months. But I feel like now that the fog's kind of lifting and we're settled and we're not like furniture shopping every other day. It's finally like, okay, we're here. Let's like dial it back into like why we're here, fine tune that purpose. And I feel like we're just going to do great things here. And it's like the perfect place. Yeah, I was listening to a podcast. Now, I think it was a book actually, because right now I'm reading Danny Myers setting the table. And he was talking about, this resonated with me so much. He was talking about how sometimes we often want to make decisions or are guided by purely analytical data, black and white.

And we ignore intuition or gut feelings. I've always been someone who follows intuition and my gut feeling. I've hired people who are analytically focused and can help me and help the team make informed decisions. But I've always been someone who follows my gut. Danny Meyer is the same way and it's led him to build absolutely amazing restaurants like Shake Shack, Michigan Star Restaurants. but when he started talking about the difference between making decisions based off of intuition as opposed to just black and white or analytically that really resonated with me and people ask the question like why Nashville, why Nashville?

You know, if you look at it black and white, I can't persuade you or tell you why. but my gut and intuition was like this is what is required to facilitate growth personally and professionally. And when it really hit me, this past week we were watching Sylvester Stallone's doc on Netflix called Sly, which we just started it. We only made it, I think, through the first like 30 minutes and then we went to bed because we were tired. got to finish it. But what really hit me the way the doc kicks off, I mean, Sylvester Stallone, I don't know how old he is.

He's older, obviously, at this point now. And he's had an amazing career, like absolutely amazing career. And his story is really interesting. I didn't know his story before we started watching this doc. But the film starts where he lives in this absolutely beautiful, amazing home and property, like stunning.

and these movers are coming in and they're packing up his stuff and he's moving to another region of the country because he's reached a point in his professional and personal life or creatively he is stuck and he knows that in order to facilitate growth in his life he needs and requires change and that is physical change so he is moving out of his home that he's built for years and years and he's moving somewhere new to having a fresh perspective and re-spark that creativity. That's the only way I can describe why I personally needed this professionally and personally. Because my goals and my mission remain the same. It's to build BPN as large as possible by maintaining brand, mission, culture, team. But in order for us to

get to that next level of growth, what got us here is not going to get us there. And I needed that new spark. I needed that new perspective to really lean in and do what I got to do. That's the only way I can describe why this move was so important to me from a professional perspective. Personally, though, it made a whole lot of sense for our family. And since getting here and getting settled in, I think it's proved to be the right decision and choice. Oh, for sure. And even though it was 100% we can say the right decision, it still has been really tough in certain times for sure. I remember when we, because like you mentioned before, it was like we were zero to five with the thought of moving and then it went from like five to

10 being in Nashville moving like that it happens so quickly like it happened a little quicker than we thought it would so I you know when even if it's like something that you want to happen and you're excited when it actually happens you're like wait a minute is this right is this going to be okay I'm freaking out maybe not and you kind of want a chicken out but then you're like no you were freaking out I was but then you know when it all turned around and I've prayed about Nashville and just this season of life for so long. It all worked out and it all, I had this piece when the gym and this office fell into place. So we were looking for office space and we knew that we needed a gym or a facility to train in just for the nature of what we do and what we want to do here. And we were having a really

hard time finding a space that could both be a cool, vibey office and a gym. So we were kind of like, how are we going to do this? Real estate here is I feel like pretty tough to find. And that's kind of like a magic pairing we were looking for. And we were searching and I think you found this office space, right? And you were always shooting things my way because I'm familiar with the area. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that is the office space above the gym that I used to teach boot camp and cycle classes in back in 2017. I'm like, I'm not familiar with that space, but dang, wouldn't it be cool if that gym was available. That would just be too perfect. We're like, you know what, though? It's Booth Camp. Sean Booth has blown it up. It's so successful. It's thriving. They're never going to move.

It's just one of the best gyms in Nashville. And we kind of just let that idea drift away because the gym wasn't available. And then what was it? Like a week later? Yeah, it was a few days. A week later. I don't even, I don't think I even follow Booth Camp or Sean. I don't know how I came across it. But I saw an Instagram story. And I think it was Sean or boot camp saying, you know, we're expanding or moving to a bigger, better space. And I immediately texted my old boss who used to own the original gym down here for the landlord information. Landlord information. And you reached out. And then 24 hours later, you were signing papers. Yeah. It happened quick. And for me, that was the Lord being like, yes, this is right. I'm going to, this, all this is going to puzzle.

together to make you feel like this is the right move. And it just, it gave me confidence at peace. I'm like, almost that like too good to be true feeling. But sometimes you need a little bit of like a confidence boost from Lord. And that was it for me. And I still can't believe. Like when I walk into this building, I get flashbacks because I was dating you at the time. Yeah, it's pretty wild.

And I get flashbacks of like texting you and being like, oh my gosh, is he going to text me back? Like I just am constantly in and out of like nostalgia in the city because I can't. I came here when I was 24 single. I'm not in the music industry. So everyone's like, why are you moving to Nashville? But I was like, the energy. Like, I came here in a girl's trip,

and I caught the bug. And I was like, I just need to be here. The Broadway bug. The Broadway bug. I just need to be sponsored by Jack and Coke. I just need to be here. And it is just crazy. And I love that you love it here

because, of course. not that we're all here because of me, but I love the city and I think I'm kind of the reason why I planted the seed in your head. Like I think BPM would really thrive here. So I kind of felt a little nervous about you, you know, making this huge life change. And I just feel like it's been really good. And we love it here. And I'm just excited to plant roots here. And for Charlie to grow up here, it's been really good. Yeah. So right now we're, we're fully operational in the office upstairs. It's 3,500 square feet. Which you've turned into a vibey spot overnight, what feels like.

It's pretty sick. Yeah. The office is pretty sick. It's so Nick. It's definitely like, it was my take on a creative space. You had a muralist in here, like week two, painting the walls. Timmy Ham came in from Phoenix area, did a mural, did some canvases. We have live plants all over the place.

everyone's offices is now set up and functioning. We made that happen in less than two months. Like build down the whole office in less than two months. Now the downstairs, the gym, we get access to hopefully in the next, I'd say, 60 to 90 days. Sean and Booth Camp, they're moving into their new space, which is a larger facility. Yeah. over in the Wedgwood Houston area, which is a really cool up-and-coming

area. It's going to be really, really cool. And once they move out, we'll move in, and we hired a design firm to help us build out that gym. So we're being very intentional with that build-out. As I've been working with the design firm, which we get the pitch deck, the concepts, right before Thanksgiving, which I can't wait to see, because our direction was we want a cross between a hybrid of...

I'm going to give all the credit to you for this one because no one could think of this marriage of vibes besides you. Again, visionary, manifest, find someone to help me bring it to life, a cross between an Equinox gym and an old motorcycle garage. I can't wait to see what they come up with. And the way I found this design firm is we went to visit this really cool running store in East Nashville called The Exchange. And the exchange is owned and operated by James Osborne, amazing running store in Nashville, unlike anything else I've ever seen before. And as I walked in, I was like, dude, who designed this spot?

and he recommended a crew who designed his whole store. We're using that same branding agency. We're going to document this whole journey on YouTube. And once Sean and Boothcamp move out, we'll get started with kind of the buildout of that space. But it's going to be called the GUNM Club. And the goal with that space is to create content for collaborations, for campaigns and activations, host events,

It's not massive. It's 3,500 square feet of gym space, but we'll have a sauna, we'll have a coal plunge, and we'll host community events there. It's going to be really cool. I'm super excited to build community here in Nashville, activate the BPN audience, and build the BPN brand in a new state, a new territory. But that is my main focus moving forward is brand. amplification, brand awareness, bring people into the circle of who BPN is and what we represent

as a role model and shine that light on a lot of the darkness that is in the world. So that's what I'm excited about. I mean, there's already a huge BPM presence here. Yeah, it's cool. We were super surprised by it. Just like going to get coffee or, I mean, the running community here is wild. And I just like our server the other night was a big VPN fan. So it's validating and it's cool to know that that community is here and we just get to grow it even more.

One thing I want to shout out about Nashville. I was going to ask you, I don't know if this will answer it, but I was going to ask you what's like your favorite part about the city. The beats. I was going there right now. The farmers bring it on beat boy. The farmer's market scene in Nashville. is unlike anything I've ever experienced. True.

From raw milk, grass fed meat, pasturase, chicken and eggs. Sourd dough. Sourdough. Pork. Vegetables, fruits. We had some great progis from the farmer's market the other day. Oki-doke. But there's these beets that I found.

And these beets, I mean, at the farmer's market last week, I bought a case. A case. You bought a case of beef. 12 jars. Pickled beets. Pickled beets. And they're so unique because off the top of my head, the ingredients are beets, vinegar, mustard seed. Nutmeg.

Nutmeg. Cinnamon. Cloves. Cloves. And they're just like so good. I put in my lunch every day with my beef and rice. Even before going to bed sometimes, I just go and grab some beats. Oh, I know.

The nights you do that for sure. And I will say, right now I'm in the best running shape of my life going. to CIM next month. You're gonna... You're gonna give it to the beats. Beats and sourdough. Beats and sourdough. All right.

Maybe you've unlocked something. Beats, I mean, beats have been shown and proven to increase and improve athletic performance. Is there beetroot powder in our strong reds? There is, yeah. And beatings, consuming beats have been shown to be beneficial for performance. And right now I'm probably consuming

four beat to, day. I'd say three to four whole beat today. Yeah, I love the inside joke that it's turned into, especially with Joe Greer. I sent him the picture of you at the case, and he's just like sends back like a skull dead emoji. And it's just this ongoing joke, you and your beats. I will say, I'm not a huge beat fan and these are delicious. But what I love about the farmer's markets here is I feel like I've made friends. That was your intention, though. You're like, I want to have a milk man. I want to have a pork chop guy. Yeah, like, Hex does the meats, but they also do the raw milk. I feel like we formed a friendship.

You, you, yep, your boys. The sourdough crew, um, Jim's spaghetti sauce. I, I go to the farmer's market. I'm like, I see my friends. And, uh, it's really cool to, to be a part of that and experience that. But it's even more. fulfilling to know that you're supporting your local economy. Oh yeah. It's my preferred way to shop now for sure. Yeah. And I don't mind spending the extra money or going out of our way. It'd be much easier to go to like a Whole Foods or Kroger public to get groceries. But it's, for me, it's very enjoyable going to the farmer's market, loading up the bottom of Charlie's stroller and then walking it back to our house. Yeah. And I love that Charlie will get to grow up seeing where her food comes from and the people

that work so hard to source that. We've seen, you know, little kids running, like, shop behind these farmer's market stands. And we always say how that would be, like, the coolest, most intentional first job for a kid. Because you see the whole process of getting whatever you're selling to the table, right? Like, you're part of that. Yeah. And then you get to practice your social and your people skills by talking to people and selling. It's just really, it's been really cool.

And I'm like, that would be a great first job. That's one of the things that Kat said. when she was in town last. Yeah. That when... You're forming connections with people. Yeah, when they have kids, they're going to have them, like, work their first jobs at farmers' markets.

Because, yeah, you're forced to... Like, people are constantly walking by your booth. And you can always tell who's making money and doing well at a farmer's market and who's not. Yeah. The people who aren't stand behind their booth with their arms crossed. Yeah, on their phone or... On the phone. There's waiting for people to approach them.

Right. the people who are crushing it are sampling items like Jim spaghetti sauce we would have never tried Jim spaghetti sauce can we talk about the trout guy he's yelling at people the trout guy he's yelling at people to try his trout yeah pulled us in try my trout dip about like eight pounds like jumped in early space we're like sure she's never had it but she can try it but that teaches you how to one engage and socialize with people yeah and then how to sell Yeah. How to sell something you truly believe in. Yeah, and that you've worked hard to produce. Yeah, share your mission and your vision and your passion with someone else. And when someone else can feel that, they want to support your passion. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that we have one of the best, I would say the best one, which I'm so sad now that it's over, the 12 South farmer's market. Within walking distance, that was like the most fun way to spend our Tuesday evenings. Yeah, we got to find a new one now. Yeah, there's a bunch that are year-round. We'll be fine. I actually was going to share this with you. Every Tuesday, I saw there is a farmer's market in East Nashville. Yeah.

HECS just posted about it. Okay. And Richland Farms I've heard about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know when that one is. Richland's Farms also has that sourdough that dose coffee sells. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there's lots of things to try.

But we've been loving that. Let's talk about your sourdough. My sourdough. My new hobby. The journey of sourdough. I don't even remember. Why did I decide to do it? I can't remember. Maybe the farmer's market? I think it's because we knew the 12 South farmers market was going to, because the 12 South farmers market that we go to or went to every Tuesday, it ends in the end of October. It's like spring to fall.

Yeah. So during the winter, we knew it was going to be closed. You basically gave me a deadline and you're like you have this many weeks to perfect sourdough because, yes, we could go find it somewhere else. But how cool it would be just to make it ourselves? We've always loved sourdough. When we were in Austin, we were buying Easy Tiger. Easy Tiger sourdough, which is a really good sourdough. Not as good as mine. You do make great sourdough. But I remember the night your mom was with us because your mom pretty much lived with us for like a month. When Charlie was born, right? No, I'm saying like when we were getting ready to. move. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Actually, I did want to tell this story. Um, what kind of expedited our move. We kind of skipped over this. Oh, yeah. But just to give context of why it felt so rushed and

why people were confused. Yeah, why it happened so fast. You know, we, we, uh, I guess, like we said, we were coming back and forth between Nashville and Austin for over the course of like, almost a year at that point. We were looking at land. We were looking at properties. I was looking at commercial spots, feeling out in the market, and just engaging with the community. We wanted to, one, make sure, like, this was where we wanted to put BPN's satellite office and it was the right spot for our family. And we got home from a weekend trip in Nashville. And we still weren't sure exactly where we wanted to live.

Yeah, we didn't have, like, we weren't totally confident at that point. And we were, like, we were a little confused and unsure. So we're like, okay, well, let's put the house in Texas on the market. And then like, we'll just feel it out because it could take 60, 90, 120 days. Yeah. Like, who knows how long we'll take the sell because the market has definitely self-corrected in the Austin area over the last year. So we were going to put it on the market, texted the realtor. We started getting all these things set up.

And then we texted her and said, hey, like, Let's hold off. We want to make sure we have a plan in place before we do anything else. So that was kind of on pause for a little bit. Went back out to Nashville and do another trip to look around

and get LA of the land. And after that one specific trip, we felt a whole lot more confident. So we came back to Austin. And I think I texted the realtor even before I talked to you. Yes. And I said, go.

Put it on the market. Because again, we thought it was going to take like months to sell. So we actually, we listed the house for a price that we didn't expected to sell for. Double. Yeah. What we did for. We did a lot of work to the house. We did, yeah.

Yeah. And what ended up happening went on the market and we had a cash offer in nine hours, which was pretty surreal. Yep. And from there, I blacked out. And then I woke up here. No, it was 60 days we had to find a home, find an office, get a plan. We also were moving a couple employees and their families here. So it was a mad dash. And this was right around Charlie's first birthday, 4th of July. It was it was nuts. Yeah, it was pretty chaotic. Yeah.

For a period of time because we signed the contract to sell the house. We had to be out at a certain time. We then had to find a spot in Nashville, lock in the office. I found the house. The first time you saw the house is when we were moving in. Yeah. I came by myself. Yeah.

Then back to your point, my mom was with us for a month, essentially. Yes. So your mom pretty much lived with us to pack up the Alston house, move into the Nashville House, which was extremely helpful. Yeah. But that's been like our last 12 months of life. Yeah. You know, it was always, I think it's one of those things that one thing that we are, are really good at.

And I would say that I've always been pretty good at. It's a lot of people. What are you saying? No, I'm saying you're, I'm saying like, we as a team are good at this thing. And you're like, but I've always been good at it. But this has always been a strength of mine. Yeah. No shade to you by any means. But a lot of people will say they want to do something. A lot of people will say, I want to move. I want a new job. Like, I want to pursue this, this vision that I have. But they never manifest it. They never make it happen because there's a fear of doing. Because as soon as you commit, that can be very exciting, but it can also be extremely nerve-wracking and scary. We felt that.

So like, it doesn't matter how many times you do it. Once you make a big life decision, no matter how long you've thought and planned about it, once you actually commit to making it happen, it is still overwhelming and scary. Yeah. And we felt that. And I remember there was a voice in your head, a calling that said. God. Yeah. Yes, that a word from God that said,

inconvenient. It's going to be inconvenient. Yeah, I've only had a few what I like to call whispers in my life. And whenever I do hear it, I don't even, the first time is when I heard October in regards to when we were like trying to get pregnant and we got pregnant in October with Charlie. And it's, and when I hear the whispers,

I'm not like praying or I'm not. asking for it. It just like, I'm in a quiet moment and it just like slips in. Yeah, and this one I was putting Turley down. And I think this was in the midst of, I don't even know if we had a house yet. It was just in the middle of this move of chaos. And I remember I came out of Turley's nursery. And it was like, God's voice. And all I heard was it's going to be inconvenient. And I'm actually, I was really surprised and I love how much you've clung on to that. Because you have. I've heard you, I've heard you reference it a lot. And even though it was not the best, like, it's like, oh, great, that's not a fun statement to hear. It's been kind of comforting. You agree? Yeah. I mean, there are a lot of things that went wrong. Yeah. From the time we sold our house in Austin to where we are right now today. Yeah. A lot went wrong. Yeah. That we couldn't have saw coming or anticipated. but that did give me a lot of faith

that when things weren't going our way I just kept thinking back to it's going to be inconvenient. God said it's going to be inconvenient so keep testing me, keep challenging me I'll fight, I'll fight the good fight so like every time something would go wrong I mean like our hot water heater went out like the second day we moved into the house

the movers couldn't get to the house with all our stuff because there was something that broke on the truck. We had some issues with the new house once he moved in. It felt like one thing after another and I felt like I was getting beat down over and over again. But just having that foundation of faith of, okay, this is, it's going to be and it's supposed to be convenient. And that's why as I'm writing this book that I'm working on right now called Go on More. in one of those chapters, I talk about growth and the fact that growth is, one, a choice, but growth is often accompanied by discomfort and inconvenience. And if you expect growth without discomfort or inconvenience,

I don't think you actually want to grow because growing is, it's challenging. Right. Yeah. I feel like leaning on that, it's going to be inconvenient, It almost allowed us to laugh at some things that we probably normally would get a little angry about, you know? Yeah. Just like, okay, we get it. But it made going through it a little bit easier.

I mean, to give context of timing of the move, as a lot of you guys know, I was training for last man standing, the ultra marathon for months, which I completed the beginning of September. September. We moved into our new home one week before that race. And that already put a lot of stress on us because we underestimated moving with a baby. We underestimated moving with a baby. And then we got our stuff. We started unpacking. Then we flew to Maine to run last man standing. And we went back to Michigan where we left Charlie with your family and then from Michigan we flew back to Nashville our furniture list home

and the day of the movers finally ended up arriving to our house which was a few days before we were supposed to leave and when we did leave for Maine right when the movers got there I ran out to help them on the back patio and I turned my ankle really

really bad. I forgot about that. Like days before last man standing so by the time we got to Maine actually my ankle was in really bad shape. We had to tape it up because my ankles turned so easy. I turned my ankles a few days ago. And I have weak little ankles.

I twisted my ankles so bad though right before the move first got there. That was bad. And I didn't think I'd be able to run last man standing. So it was all these things compounding. That part of me was like, okay, is God telling me we're making a mistake? Yeah.

Or is he, does he want to see how much I'm willing to embrace this next chapter of growth by, like, testing me. Do you want me to quit? Are you trying to get me to retreat? Yeah, he works like that. It's all part of it. Guess what? I persevered, baby. We did. Through twists and ankles. We persevered. Broken water heaters. Yeah. So it's been all blessings. But just because, you know, something can be a blessing and it can still be really challenging. So it's just like keeping perspective and I'm just, it's crazy. Like we, I needed that whisper. Without that whisper, I think we wouldn't have been able to handle this season as well as we have. And I mean, it has, even with that validation in our faith,

it's still been tricky. This has been my most, I think, emotionally unstable. Like, season, I've been in a while. But, and I've started, I got back into therapy because I was like, I need some help. This is a big life change. Like, we're leaving friends, we're leaving business. We're not moving to a place that's more convenient, frankly. We don't have family here. It's just as difficult. I need some coaching through this. I need some coaching with managing my emotions so I can still show up as a good mom and wife. And that's been game changing. Just doing that every other week in learning to not even like sometimes I've learned that just spent this morning so it's fresh. But I've learned that sometimes I'll feel a certain way and I'll want to compress that feeling

and that I end up forming shame around that. Like I shouldn't be feeling this way because look how blessed I am and Nick's fine. Why am I emotional about this? And then I just get into this shame spiral. But it's like letting myself feel the things and be like, I'm human and being mindful and like letting myself, it's okay. Like I'm allowed to have a bad day. I'm a human. And like tomorrow is going to be better. Just being aware. It's been, it's been super helpful. So yes, it's been, I feel like we're getting out of the woods and it's been an awesome season, but it's still been challenging. Yeah, we actually, um, there's this. therapy, counseling.

I don't even know what do you call it. Retreat. It's like the mecca of therapy. In Tennessee, called OnSite. Let me translate that if you're not from Pennsylvania. On site. On site. On site.

On site. We've heard amazing things about this place. Yeah, we've never been yet, but we've heard from a lot of friends and people in our lives that it's been very beneficial for themselves and their relationships and marriages. So we're actually planning on going to this. It's like a four-day retreat here in the Tennessee area. I think we're going to plan on trying to go in end of January, early February time frame. We actually have our screening call end of this week to talk to one of the counselors there. But we want to go.

You know, you show up from what I understand. You turn in your phone. You don't have access to your phone for like the four days. It's pretty intensive therapy and couples counseling. And you're working on your marriage and your relationship. Yeah, I don't think it's necessarily damage control. It's not like we need help. It's like it's proactive as opposed to reactive.

For sure. I think it's like a oil change for your marriage. Like you need it to keep going. Maintenance program. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's one of the things that we're pursuing going to this next year. We should definitely talk about our experience after.

No, definitely. Absolutely. I'm excited. Yeah, I've heard really, really good things. When Ken Rydout was on the podcast, I guess that was two weeks ago, he went individually and had said amazing things about it. Yeah. So I'm excited.

Yeah, me too. I'm really excited to do some actual personal work with a professional, find out why I've become the person I am and how I can get better and how I can be more self-aware of things that I do that I don't know I do. So that'll be exciting going into this next year. Yeah. I think we, because this is something, I think this is something that I probably like all versions of myself would want to do, but I'm really happy that you or you're the one that honestly initiated this. And I think it's all stemming from us being in a season. Number one, we're parents. And I feel like we're kind of, we can kind of like shift to parenting now if you want. Like we're approaching this season where Charlie is

slowly morphing into a human. Before we get into parenthood, I'm sorry, but we didn't wrap up the beets, the sourdough story. We need to close that loop before we can move on. What's there to close? I make a great sourdough.

Where we were going with that whole side track was that when Steph's mom was in town and Nashville helping us move from Austin to Tennessee or Texas to Tennessee, we went to the first farmer's market. the 12 South Farmers Market. Your mom was with us.

And we went and we just toured. And we went to, is it Bloomington Farms? It's something like that. It's Bloomington Farms. They specialize in flowers, but they also do sourdough. And it's some of the best sourdough I've ever had in my life.

We got a loaf. And when we got home, we just tore off a piece of that sourdough loaf. It was probably like 8 p.m. or something like that. Took a bite. And between you, me, and your mom, we never pulled a knife out. We ate that entire loaf. We just broke bread.

Just broke bread together. And from that moment on, our obsession with sourdough increased significantly. So the point now where you're making loaves, it took you a while to really nail in your perfected sourdough loaf. But right now it's really, really good. Yeah, it's really fun. I like it because it's a processed. Processed. I like it because it's a process.

and you don't know how it's, you don't know the outcome until the very end. And you're putting in all of this hard work not knowing the outcome. You're just hoping that it turns out good. And there is no better feeling at that 30 minute marker baked at 450 when it's time to lift the lid and let it bake without the lid. And when you just see a beautiful, fluffy, perfect loaf, there's no better feeling. And I love that Charlie loves it. You love it. I love it. I love that it's something that I can bring people.

Like that's going to be my go-to gift now. Bread. I love bread. Yeah, we cut in, we cut into that first good loaf. Like, there's nothing quite like pulling a loaf out of the oven, letting it rest for like three hours, cutting into it, putting some fresh carry-gold butter on there, letting your teeth sink in do like,

it's just so soft with like, a good crust in the outside and it's got a great chew. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's good. It's a fun hobby. And my goal is to just like keep my same starter. I remember I was telling Jordan about the concept of a starter. And he had no idea that, you know, you can have the same starter for 10 years if you keep it alive in the fridge. And I just love that. I think it's going to be a great lesson for Charlie too. You know, it's a process. And if you don't feed the starter, the starter dies. Yep. It's a great lesson for life. Moving on to now,

parenthood. It's like a parenting update, I think, would be, um, would be good to talk about. Yeah. We're entering this. Well, what's,

everyone's always said it. So it sounds so cliche. When people are like, it goes by so fast, it goes by so fast. It really does. Like last night, we were up in Charlie's playroom.

And if I think back, like it feels like a month ago, that she just started crawling. I remember the day she rolled over. Oh, me too, yeah. For the first time. It was the biggest deal. And last night, we were up in her playroom, and she has this little kitchenette,

and she had her frying pan, and it had like a croissant in there. That was 100% piece of grilled chicken, but you kept calling it a croissant. It looks like a croissant. And she had the salt and pepper shaker, which are fake salt and pepper shakers. but she was actually like shaking salt and pepper on the food. I'm like, who taught you this?

Yeah. Where did you learn this? She's now almost, almost 16 weeks. This week should be 16 months. Yeah, that's right. 16 weeks. I said that and something,

I go like, does that sound wrong? Yeah. 16 months. And she's full on walking. She's babbling. She knows what she wants to say. So confident in what that girl is saying. But she understands life now.

I mean, do you remember? This was another thing too. Like, we watch Mickey Mouse in the mornings, like when I'm like getting coffee and getting like her breakfast. And there's this hot dog song. If you know, you know. And remember, I think it was the last night? I think it was like two nights ago. Two nights ago, yeah.

We had a, we were playing with a toy hot dog. And I just said, oh, can I have the hot dog? And she put her little hand up and she was dancing. And I'm like, what are you? What? And then I realized the Mickey Mouse hot dog, hot dog, hot diggedy dog. And I'm like, oh my gosh, she is a sponge. The sponge age has started, which is again, like going back to what I said, I think that's why you and I, I wouldn't say we have urgency, but we're more motivated to really look inward because they always, I think I heard Sean and Andrew. I think it was Sean maybe.

she said, like, your child, or maybe she said your spouse, both, I think are great examples. It's like the greatest, same, same. Yeah, the greatest mirror ever. It is. It's like looking at a mirror. Yeah. And also, too, I thought about this in church this past Sunday. Pastor Lyle said, like, rate your, you can, someone asks you, like, as a leader, like, rate yourself one to ten, 10, 10 being a great leader.

You can give yourself a seven. They say, I'm a seven. And then you can ask the same question and say, raise your team. well, my team's a three. And he was saying, well, that means you're a three. Because your team is the direct result of you. And I think it goes the same for your child. So I think I feel this new, newfound like motivation to really get it right here and in with me because she is an observer now. And she's picking up on every little thing. And it's scary. It's really cool. But it's It's pretty nuts.

Compared to the last time I was on here, she was just a blob. Yeah. You know? It definitely, for me, I feel a lot of pressure and responsibility. And being at church this past weekend, it was a great sermon. It was a great lesson. It was called, what's the Florida? Remember he said it was built to last?

If you want to watch it on YouTube, Legacy Church in Nashville. We've been going to Ethos Church here in Nashville at Marathon Village, which is a great church. We tried Legacy Church this past weekend with Dr. Josh Axe and family. And one of the things that Pastor Lyle talked about in this sermon that I wrote down that I wanted to bring up, I think often I'll speak on behalf of people but I'm really speaking on behalf of myself I will say I

sometimes feel guilty for for being very very ambitious and ambitious in my professional and personal life and feeling like through that ambition that I am neglecting other responsibilities in my life like my family and my faith because I am the type of person who is like all or none.

I have a really hard time operating at 50%. If you tell me to do something, I'm going to do it at 100%. If you tell me to run a marathon, I'm going to go all in on a prep. If you tell me to build a business, I'm going to go all in on building that business. And that is my gauge for ambition. And often, or historically, what has happened is when my ambition is turned on it 100% I neglect other parts of my life.

So I'm in a season of life right now where I'm getting better but I'm working on throttling that ambition by not neglecting other priorities of my life. The reason I bring this up is because during the sermon the message was that you shouldn't feel guilty for having ambitions.

We need ambitions. We need purpose. We need direction. We need a norostal. are, but you can still pursue your ambitions and the foundation of your family and faith can still be equally as strong. So I think just him saying that allowed me to have some grace with myself. Absolutely. And I think you're doing a really great job. I think people, shout out, Reddit.

I think people doubt your capability of balance because they see how hard you work, how early you wake up, how many miles you run, the size of the business you run, and they think, well, this is impossible. There's got to be this giant imbalance. And yeah, it's never perfectly balanced, but you, on the records, people can just understand this, you do prioritize family and you genuinely, I know you genuinely want to. And I know there are seasons where we're always a priority, but other things, you know, have to get taken care of and other things are really important. But I think you do a great job. And I know, and I know, I think what's even more important is when we are in a season of imbalance and you are super focusing on something, I think I feel you, I feel your guilt about it. And I feel that you're sad that maybe you didn't get to spend your morning with Charlie. that's enough, I think, for me, because I know your character.

Because I know if it was up to you, you would do every morning the same. You would spend time with Charlie, you would go to frothymuck, you would Charlie, you want that. You don't like it when you don't do it. But sometimes things have to shuffle. So I think you're doing a great job. And I think, again, this move has really allowed us a space to work towards, because we're never going to get it right perfectly, but work towards that balance that we want in our family. I've been thinking about this a lot recently

the message that I want to share what my content looks like in this next chapter of life and it's like this podcast right now is an example of that I want to share what I and we are experiencing living life

the good the bad the challenges the victories the obstacles, like sharing that journey to help other people, maybe not even help other people, but just let them know that they're not alone. Not alone. I don't want to ever tell people how to live their life because how you live your life is up to you based off of what a good life looks like

and what success is determined by. but I would like my content to be a shared experience of what we're learning through this journey because the journey only evolves, at least if you try to grow, whether you're growing professionally or growing a family or you're growing in your relationship or your faith with God. Right. It's always evolving. So I now feel this obligation and responsibility, and I want to share what I'm learning through the process to kind of like piggyback off what you said about when I'm in a season

that is heavier like right now this marathon prep season is is heavier my my weekly mileage is pretty high running like 75 miles a week my daily run is 11 miles minimum for the last couple years I've woken up at 5 a.m. every morning and I'm running by 6. And then by the time I'm back, you know, Charlie was waking up. Well, now as my daily mileage is increased, what I've tried to do is just I back up my morning schedule. So instead of waking up at 5, I'm waking up at 430 or 440. So then I'm running earlier, some back at the same time. So now that's kind of the way that I manage my schedule is based off of what I have to do for that day,

release marathon, training for that morning. I will back up my morning routine, which tells me what time I have to wake up. Backwards plan to show up for my responsibilities that I want to be a part of for the morning with my family. So one of my favorite things to do is when I come home from my morning run and I walk in and the dogs attack me. And then I walk through the doorway into the kitchen and then you're on the couch drinking your coffee with Charlie. and Charlie looks over at me and smiles, that's like the best part of my morning. Yeah.

Love that. Yeah. And I want that. I need that in my morning routine. Yeah. Yeah, I think, like I said, I don't think anyone can ever, I don't think balance,

like perfect balance ever exists, but you just have to support each other in seasons of imbalance. And I think for a while we fought that and like resentment can build, and communication can suffer and take a back seat. But if you acknowledge and you accept and you're okay with the imbalance and you make a plan, which we're still working on, like we have our moments, I think you can get through it.

And imbalances don't feel so heavy, you know. I think date nights help with balance. Yeah, I think one of the best things, two things. I've loved that we've implemented in our marriage lately. Number one, we have a built-in date night every single. single week. Thursdays are our days. We have locked in our nanny, she knows. And it's incredible because that's a time where we can either recharge just us to trying a new restaurant or going to a show or like this week we're going to dinner with friends. It allows us to say yes to each

other and to meeting new people, which is probably my number one priority here is community because we don't have friends here, a lot of friends here yet. So that's been huge. And then also I love our little Sunday salutes that we do. Yeah, you can talk about that. Yeah, I don't know how, truly, don't know when it started. Don't know how I came up with it. I came up with it. You did. I think it, I think where the Sunday salutes came from was,

we got to a point where Sundays were exhausting. And by the time the day was over before the week started, we like laid our heads down at night on the pillows. And we just like, weren't in the best headspace or mindset or showing appreciation for each other. It probably came from me wanting some words about formation and I forced you into doing it. But it's turned into this really fun little weekly ritual we have. Yeah.

It's not always the easiest. No, it's not. But that's a teachable moment though. And it teaches us. And that's like I think those weeks are the most important. So if y'all want to do this and implement this in your marriage, this is what we do. We do it Sunday nights. Or if you're not married, salute yourself.

Sure. Yeah, seriously. See it yourself. Actually, you're right. You're right. So we do the Sunday nights. We're normally in bed. The lights are off. And sometimes I will say, I'm the one that always brings it up and reminds you because I know you're tired. But I'm like Sunday salutes or I'll say like you're getting the shower and I'm like, get ready because Sunday salutes are coming up. And what we have to do is we have to salute one another with three things. So I'm giving Nick praise, acknowledging. Nick, giving him a compliment, just something, a saluting him for three good things that like meant a lot to me or that I remembered or that I loved about that week. And it can be something like you looked so cute on date night. And I love the way that shirt complimented the color of your eyes. Like I just kept thinking like, oh my gosh, you're so handsome. You could be like that. It could be surface level like that. Or it could be something really deep. And I think we do need to get a little bit better about like, I feel like when we do it, we just think about the week. because we're so tired, but we need to like, there's been weeks where I've like taking notes in my phone.

Like, oh, at this little moment, I need to remember to praise him for this. And to your point, some Sundays are very difficult. Sometimes we're fresh off of a little argument. And I don't want to salute you. I mean, sometimes, you don't want to salute me. Sometimes it takes like 15 minutes. Oh, there's, oh, for sure. Yeah. There's like, we start. And I'm like, okay, so he's going to take about one minute to come up with one for me. So now I need to really take deep. And I'm going to go back in my head. about thinking about all the things that happened this week. But that, like, I feel like as a spouse,

we should be able to salute each other and acknowledge each other and praise each other pretty quickly. Like, that's the marriage that I want. But on the weeks that are tough, it's kind of a reminder and be like, dang, maybe, it's not even like, if it takes you a long time to think of something to acknowledge me for,

it's not on you, it's on me. It's like, I maybe didn't show up as the best spouse this week. Like, you know? Or like, I was a little snippy this week. So of course you can't find something to acknowledge or praise me on. So it's even when, even, it's not even really about what is being said. It's, is it easy to do this or is it difficult? We've had both kinds of weeks.

But I think it's sweet. And I think it's been really good because then you go to bed and the last thing you said to each other were really nice things. And then you start your week. Yeah, I think it was a great idea. Yeah. I think it's something probably with your military background that gave me this thing, but I don't know.

My default is always the sourdough salute. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Sometimes I have like disclaimers. I'm like, you can't say my sourdough tasted good. Okay? And he's like, dang, all right. Well, I guess I'll go back.

But, yeah, I think that's been good. So if you guys want to try that, it's been, it's been good for us. It's fun. Yeah. Thursday day nights have been very fun, especially because we're in a new city. So it gives us a reason and opportunity to go explore. new restaurants or being in Nashville like their shows all the time. Yeah.

And it's so easy to get those show. We went and saw Warren Ziders at the Ryman. We saw Hardy, Laney Wilson at a venue. Yeah. And I found that like those tickets literally like four days before the show. It was like an old hockey rink auditorium. Municipal auditorium, yeah. We saw Bobby Bones at.

at Country Music Hall of Fame. It's just been so easy to get the shows. And there's big artists in Nashville all the time. And like when you're at these shows, these artists bring out their other friends. Because it's Nashville and it's amazing. Yes, like Lainey Wilson brought out Jelly Roll and I've never,

I felt the ground shake. I felt it. And then Bobby Bowens brought out Jake Owen. Yeah, and Charles Kelly. It was incredible. Yeah, Nashville is marriage. I'm telling you. So we love music.

So going to shows is super accessible, very easy. And when we were living in Texas, we were actually like 45 minutes away from Austin. On a good day, yeah. So it was kind of inconvenient to get in and out of the city. Now we're literally three miles from downtown. And Uber. Yes, we Uber into the city. Even like my morning runs.

My morning runs, I run into downtown through Broadway sometimes and back. But we are big, foodies. I think it's one of the things that I've learned over these past couple years. I thought everyone was a foodie. Some people don't care about food or like the experience of going to different restaurants and exploring the menu and hearing and learning about where the food is sourced from and what farms and ranches they go to. I'm obsessed with that kind of stuff. Leaving Austin or moving from Austin, the food scene in Austin is incredible. I was afraid that Nashville food scene would not be able to compete. Because I just, when I think of Nashville, I think of hot chicken,

mashed potatoes, and like, sweet tea. Yeah, sweet tea. Yeah. Southern comfort food. But I was pleasantly surprised by the caliber of chefs in restaurants. And us being being big foodies. I have a list of all the restaurants we want to go to. We've had some really good food since being here. So one of our favorite things to do is going to dinner, experiencing a new restaurant that has a great energy environment, good foods, some cocktails, and just enjoying each other's company. So that's been, I think, very beneficial for our relationship. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like we've been having some pretty deep and meaningful conversations lately, especially like me. Which is great. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think I'm in a season right now where I've kind of learned

the type of mother. Not the type of mother I am. But I've learned that I need more. And I knew that pretty early on. I think the last podcast I was like, I need, I need more. So something that I've been kind of like talking to you a lot about is just like what's next for me and what's that purpose. And it's a season right now where I feel like I'm getting a little impatient because I'm like, I just don't know. Like what's next for me? And it's great having you as a soundboard because I feel like you give great advice and great guidance. But yeah, I feel like we're just in a season where I'm so excited for what's around the corner and we're in a place that's great for that

but at the same time it's like it's been a little like lonely and I think shout out Pastor Lyle because he is just giving us all the bits for this podcast he's actually coming on the podcast I'm so excited yeah

he's coming in end of next week yeah it's gonna be so good and we're recording yeah but I mean clearly this message last week really even with Charlie on my lap like I was actually was pretty she's good

I was pretty engaged that whole message. But he was talking about... She ate like eight mangoes. I know. It was Mango City. But he talked about how, and this really hit me, he talked about how, you know, people, they think they know the life they want,

they know the type of family they want to build. They know, they think they know what they want their life to look like. But you can't dream, you can't just dream that up. Like, you can't just dream up the life you want. You have to build it. You have to be a builder. And that's what the whole message was about was building.

being a builder, which I think you're a great builder. So I feel like in this season where it's all so new and it's a little lonely, and we don't really know a lot of people and I don't really know what's next for me. And I'm open to like whatever God has for me. Just this past week, I found myself thinking like, well, what am I doing? Like what's an actionable thing that I'm doing to build this life that we want? Whether it's having to do with Charlie and the family we want or like the family dynamic we want, I feel like sitting with Sally and Eddie backing me a little bit of like,

little fire under the butt. I'm like, dang. That gave me a nice little vision for the family dynamic I want. Sally and Eddie's children are delightful. And it was extremely inspiring to me. So I think I'm just in a season where I'm really open to things inspiring me. And to you, I am like, help me. Like, help me figure this out. But I think it's all part of the process right now. and I'm just excited to build. And he's right. You just, you can't dream what you want.

You have to, you have to go after it, which I think you've done. Yeah. What makes me think of, again, referencing the Sly film, the Sylvester,

Stallone, Netflix, Doc. And I learned so much just in the first 20, 30 minutes about his life that I didn't know. He,

he wanted to be an actor, but he wouldn't, get cast for any roles other than just like a guy who would get in fights in a bar as an extra in a scene of a movie he was never picked to be like a lead role people looked at him and said no there's no way so what he ended up doing was he started writing his own films and he wrote these films so that he would be the lead and don't quote me on this one But I think it was it was Rocky. He, so he, he wrote and directed Rocky.

And he wrote the, the story of Rocky. And when someone came in and reviewed this story, they offered him upwards of like half a million dollars to buy it from him so that he wouldn't be in the movie. They're like, we'll buy this from you, but you cannot be the lead role of this film. And he was like, no way, there's no way I'm selling this. I wrote this so that I could be the lead rule. So he built it because he believed himself so much, he built that from the ground up so that he could succeed and show his ability to perform.

And now look at the Rockies series and how well it's been executed and, I mean, it's legendary. but when no one else believed in him, as much as he would have kept wishing for the lead role, like he could pray every single night, God give me the opportunity to be like a lead in a feature film that never would have happened. So he had to build a film and a story around himself so that he could have the opportunity.

Now you look at his career. And it's like, wow, like no one gave that to you. You built that out of nothing. That's powerful. Yeah. Built it. And one of the conversations we had this past week was you have to find something that lights your soul on fire. Which I'm searching for right now.

And the one thing I said, as we've had these conversations, is like, unfortunately, I can't tell you what that is. Right. Like, you got to find it. But it's, I think, having the patience to find exactly what that is. Yeah. And that's the season of man right. now is patience. Just being open.

I'm hopeful and I'm excited, but there's definitely days where you're just like, dang, like, what am I? What is my purpose? Like, I love, who told you about the dog and the holes? Bejurus Kulian. Yeah. I talked about that in therapy this morning. Like, say it again.

Yeah, so Bejuros had this dog. I forgot exactly what kind of dog it was. But he had this dog that they, they got to pretty much protect their family. A very powerful alpha type dog and he hired a trainer to train this dog

and the trainer said you have to give this this animal purpose and direction. Like a dog like this needs a purpose. Yes, a dog like this needs purpose and direction because if you don't he will dig holes all over your yard.

That will be his purpose. So so Bajer had this conversation with his trainer, he's like, oh, that is, that is just like us. Like, we as human beings, as individuals, if we live a life without

purpose and direction, we will give ourselves purpose and direction and self-destruct by digging holes everywhere. And even Ken last couple weeks, he talked about that too. Yeah. A man without purpose, something seeks pleasure or something,

or distracts himself with pleasure. Right. So, like, if you don't have this purpose and direction in life, you will subconsciously give yourself purpose and direction by self-sabotaging and destructing by digging holes everywhere and anywhere to find purpose and direction. And that's why it's such a important foundation to have in your life. Oh my gosh, yeah. And I think too, I'm sure a ton of new moms can relate to this. But one of like my insecurities in life has just been, and I think.

think it's been a little bit more brought to light being married to you because you, you are Nick Bear, you are the founder of VPN, you run marathons, you run ultramarathons, right? You have these very black and white, I don't know, descriptions of yourself. You have an identity, right? Yeah. And for me, I've just never been like that. I've always, which, I don't think is a bad thing. I'm just always trying new things and I'm always curious and I'm always getting new passions and there's nothing wrong with that. Right. And I've learned there's nothing wrong with that. But for a while, I did carry some shame that I just couldn't really ever like stick to one thing. But I think that's what's kind of fun about me is that I do get into seasons where like

I'm really passionate about this and then maybe in a couple years I won't be anymore. And that's okay. Like that makes life really fun and exciting, honestly. But I really beat myself down on not having that like one thing. And I think I leaned as soon as we found out that we got pregnant, I really was like, oh, well, this is it. I'm going to be a mom. That's what I'm, that's my purpose. Like, and I almost. Which it is. It is. It is. It's part of my purpose. And it's part of my identity. But I think I almost put too much weight on that. So then, you know, once the postpartum fog lifted, and I stopped kind of like, you know, Presley, my, like, the only, like, person I was working with when I was, like, really heavy into blogging. She moved away. I was like, okay, well, I'm just

going to hang the hat on blogging and all the structure and the stuff that I've built. And then I kind of just, it was like, okay, I'll just be a mom. And then I really quickly realized that, yeah, that's part of my identity. That's part of my purpose. But that ain't it for me. That's not all it is for me. So we were talking about this this weekend. Like, Charlie's almost a year and a half and it's been a year and a half of me kind of just not having, you know, that fire. And I think that's okay. I think it's okay if your child isn't the sole reason that you have light your soul on fire. Charlie is, it's the most rewarding thing and it's my favorite role for sure, but I need more. And I think a lot of moms sometimes feel guilty

for wanting more and I feel that. But I think that I'm accepting that I'm accepting that I'm I do want more. And it's going to make me a better mom for Tarley. And I want her to see me work for more. So it's a mix of acceptance. And then just finding, again, like what you said, what sets my soul on fire. And that's kind of where I'm at now.

And I'm just really excited because I feel like I'm in the place where I want that to happen physically and emotionally. One of the things I always say to you, too, is, like, who's writing these rules? Yeah. It's like, you say, well, I can't do this. and I feel guilty for that. And I'm like, what rule book are you following?

Who's writing these? The rule book of social media. Exactly. That's what it is. It's a rule book of comparison. Yeah. And as the phrase goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

There's no rule book to life. Yeah. There's a rule book of principles and value. That is the law and that is, the Bible, which guides us morally. But there's no rulebook that says we have to do things in a particular order or a certain way. The life that you want that provides happiness and fulfillment and joy, you are the ultimate creator in the way that is constructed. That's the fun part. that's the way I always look at life is

here's where I want to get to how do I get there regardless of what the blueprint says I'll be an exception to the rule or rule book yeah yep and that's all very true

hard to accept at times I acknowledge that yeah but we're getting there And yeah, I think I'm really excited for this next year. I can't wait to see a year from now, like what's going on in our life, what Charlie's doing. Probably have another baby. I know. I'm not pregnant right now, but I'm excited to add more little people to our family.

It's, yeah, like we said, we want that loud fun family and we have to build it. You know, you want pure chaos in the house. We feel like we kind of already have it sometimes with Ryder and Remy, but. Dogs, the dogs will create pure chaos, but we want more kids, big family. Right now living away from family is definitely hard. Still tough, yeah. And having, we both have smaller families. So when you have smaller families and the family that you do have is,

states away can be challenging and difficult. Yeah. And we want like this loud, crazy, fun family experience. Yeah.

So we have to create that. Right. We have to build that. Yeah. And I know for me, I grew up with a bazillion cousins all close in age to all of within 20 minutes of each other.

I grew up with great aunts and uncles. Still have them, obviously. But there's that distance in between. And I think we have this realization. Like, I think when Preston and Val got pregnant, And we're like so excited to have a cousin in the family.

Part for a second. I was like, hold on. They didn't announce, but they did. They did. Yeah. So my brother and, uh, yeah. His wife, Val, they are expecting baby girl in April. Girl squad.

Yep. In April 3rd. Yeah. Yeah. So I think when that came to life, I was like, okay. So, you know, my sister, she has a daughter. Your brother is going to have a daughter. Like, but I mean,

she's going to have a small, you know, immediate family. And I'm like, dang, like, I, that's not how I grew up. It's just different. It's just different. And she's far away from her family. It's just different. So that's why at night with her I've been praying, like, one of the biggest things we pray for and spend time on is I pray for a community that feels like family and friends

to do life with that share our same values and just people to be around Charlie that can, like, love on her and that she knows, love her. and I'm just excited that we are finally in a place where we can root and work towards that. I agree. Yeah. Do you want to do a little wrap and fire to tie this up? Let's see what you got. It's nothing wild.

It's just like fun, random things. Honestly, we probably kind of touched up this a little bit. But all right, so the subject is current favorites, whatever. Okay. Okay, what's your, I don't know what's going to be? What's your current obsession? My current obsession, I would say, is beets, but also newly found, refound, sauerkraut. Oh, okay.

I've been adding sauerkraut to my meals instead of beets, and it is delicious. Shout out Jordan. Also, bee pollen. I've been doing a shot of bee pollen every morning. Which is not honey that I learned, and it's pretty gross. It's like durable food for what I would picture. I like it. My current obsession, sourdough.

No brainer. Sourdough for sure. Yeah. I was taking notes. I'm reading, listening, all the things about sourdough. Okay. What is your current source of inspiration? What's inspiring you right now?

That's a good one. I think I know your answer, but we'll see what you say. I am right now really inspired. and motivated for this next chapter of growth in my professional journey of building BPN, but taking a completely different approach, something disruptive, something that hasn't been done before, something that is original and authentic to me, and it doesn't feel like something that's been thrown in the washer,

cleaned, and then reworn. it's something that's been custom cut. You're the crow. Yes. Yes. Go listen to Hardy's song. The mockingbird and the crow. You're entering your crow era.

Yes. Maybe that should be your tattoo. It's a crow. I want to get a sparrow. I'm actually a mockingbird. I have my I have my consultation for my tattoo on Monday. This coming Monday.

We'll get it on the books. I'm just glad it's not a Pegasus. I'm finishing my sleeve, baby. Okay, what's your source of inspiration? I thought you were going to say cooking, because you're really on fire with cooking right now. I am very, I'm very inspired by cooking right now. Yeah.

And that will definitely, that will definitely be a huge part of this next chapter of my life. Yeah. What's currently inspiring me? I would say a mix between, it's not really tangible, but like what's around the corner? I'm just, I just feel, I have this feeling. I don't know if like, it's a whisper coming on,

but I just have a feeling that something really awesome is coming around the corner for me. Intuition. Yeah. And I feel like that's inspiring me and also just the people on the city are super inspiring. Yeah. Extremely. I agree. Yeah.

Okay, what's your current favorite thing about Charlie? Current favorite thing about Charlie is probably just like her her babble in conversations where like she tries to negotiate with you she puts hands up yeah she's definitely trying to negotiate to get or convince you to not

put her to bed or move her out of her chair or do something and she's trying to be I mean she is very convincing I don't know what she's saying but it's hilarious to watch. My favorite thing is Hi! Yeah.

She's in this phase right now where I think she's kind of, she went through this little like a couple month phase where she was super, super shy and timid. Like to the point where she would like bury herself like in my chest in public, which is fine, whatever. But I feel like now she's kind of like coming out of Rochelle a little bit more. And she does this thing at the park with people where she just like at the park, she'll be on the play structure.

This little little kids will come up and she'll just wave and go, Hey. And I realized this morning actually, because we were talking about the whole high thing last night, when I opened the door in the morning, like when she's awake, I go, hi. Like, I do that. So it's probably where she got it. Yeah, you're probably right. But it is just the cutest, highest pitch thing.

And she has this little, like, wave. And it's just my favorite thing in the whole world. So you have a backwards wave. Yeah. And I also love her ugs right now. The ugs she's wearing. It's a vibe. It's a vibe.

Okay, a few more. Your current favorite song? I'd say, the mocking bird and the crow but Hardy I have that on repeat right now I mean again I don't know how we had never heard that song or songs because it's like two songs in one

before that show that's what he opened with that was epic I mean I have so much respect for Hardy because Oh he's a disruptor Yes Hardy He was a songwriter originally Then he started playing his music And performing his music publicly

And when he first started playing shows, it was like traditional radio country music. Yep. And he reached a point where he was like, this is not me.

That was when he was the mockingbird. Yeah. Then he became the crow. We went to a Hardy concert. I was fully expecting a country, the music festival.

Oh, I wasn't. I knew what was coming. It was a rock concert. It was insane. Like I'm pretty sure like there wasn't a mash pit at ours,

but there has been other ones. It's like emo country. It's incredible. Screamo. out. Girls were taking their brawls off and throwing on one stage. Yeah. He is, he knows how to, oh my gosh, Laney Wilson said before he came on, like, this is a WWE wrestling match. And like, it kind of was. That was epic. But like so much respect for the fact that someone who's doing really well recognizes that's not their authentic self. Yeah. And they're like, screw it. I'm pursuing who I really am.

Yeah. That's badass. I need to put this in the universe. You need to get Hardy on this podcast. We are in Nashville. Whoever's listening to this. If you have a connection, Michael Hardy, DM us because I feel like you, like you have a piece of Hardy inside you. I just feel like you guys would hit it off. Yeah, it'd be cool. It'd be a great conversation, but I'm, I have a lot of respect for that decision, and I'm curious to learn more about it. Yeah, he's, he's cool.

Okay, that's your favorite song. My favorite song, I'm on a really big nine-inch nails kick again. And I was taking a social class, and instructor Karen played on. Only. It's called only. But 9-inch nails, I played it for you yesterday, and you're like, yeah, this isn't really do it for me. But I grew up, and I guess I didn't even really notice it until, like, the past few years.

But I love heavy metal, and it's because my dad, that's, he, I literally grew up in the car. Like, my mom was like, turn this off, but he would just play limp biscuit, 9-inch nails, tool, corn, Ozzy Osbourne. Like, it was just, I remember he came home from, what's it called the festival? Warped Tour. And he had like fake blood all over a shirt. And my dad is the most clean-hug guy ever. I went to Oz Fest.

That too, yeah. So I grew up around that and it's like embedded in me. And now I don't know, every time I just, so yeah. Only. Can I say always wrongly? It's only. Only by nine-inch nails. It's an oldie but a goodie, but it's like back up and it just like gives me an

endorphin rush. Okay. A little salute here. What's the current favorite thing about each other? Your new hair. Your short hair. I love the short hair look. You've been talking about cutting your hair for like the last couple months.

Yeah. Like, dude, I love the short hair. Yeah. So you finally cut it. And I think it looks amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.

I like it now too. I would say my current favorite thing about you is I think I've seen the shift. You've been talking about it a lot on social media. The all consumed versus all in, right? Or no. All in versus all in. Right. And I think my favorite thing about you in this season is that you really have worked really hard and you are living the all in versus the all consumed. Yes. Especially in this marathon prep. I've seen some major shifts. And I think a lot of people are learning from you because I think, I mean, I talk to people all the time about like, I've wives always messaging me being like, my husband is doing an Iron Man and it's like ruining our marriage. We've been there. Yeah. Like, what can I do? And I think that I don't even know when it clicked for you, but it's, you're walking the walk and talking to talk for sure.

My new book, which is honestly probably almost two years away from coming out, describes this journey to a T and the evolution of going more for me. And that's why a lot of people recently have been hearing me say, going more is much more than an action. it is an outcome. And the chapters of this book will describe that and how my philosophy has evolved and changed around that. Yeah. Okay, last one. Favorite thing about this season we're in right now? I can go first if you want to think.

No, I got this one. My favorite part about this season is that it's not predictable. It's not comfortable. and I'm forced to think outside of the box. I knew this would happen moving here, and it feels like me and BPN in 2017, where I was, I had to be strategic.

I had to be very intentional, and I had to get really creative with growth and what was going to make us different and disrupt an entire industry and grow personally and professionally. That's what I'm most excited about the season is I'm forced to do that all over again. And I know it's not only going to benefit me, but also the company. Yeah, absolutely.

I think my favorite thing is in a lot of different facets, it feels like the early stages of BPN. My favorite thing is that we're spending more time together because we lost that for a big chunk. Yeah. I think from like, what, 2019, right up until we moved, I feel like we didn't really see each other a lot. No, I mean, I was out of the house. I mean, sometimes I was out of the house by 6 a.m. and back by 6 p.m. Yeah, which I know is a lot of people's realities.

And I think it's just a little different for us because we started our relationship. I moved here and we worked together, right? I think I know a lot of couples like respectfully so say they could never work together they could never spend all day together But I think I feel like we're different in that like that's how like when I fell in love with you and we We decided that we're gonna do life together we were really doing like every little inch and bit of life together And I never I didn't really know that's the kind of marriage I would have I didn't know if it was just gonna be like the traditional like see you at 530 you know type thing But I quickly realized like I didn't like that and I really do like spending time with you and I like

working with you. And we haven't had that for a really long time. And it's refreshing. Yeah, I feel like we're getting back to that. And I love it. Yeah, it's been fun. Yeah. That's all I got. Well, that's great. Honestly, this was a really good conversation. It's fun. Definitely do more of these. I think this was a good kickoff to lay the foundation of these last couple months. Yeah. Where we're at right now in this season and chapter of life. And then episodes moving forward, we can talk about things we're struggling with. We can talk about our experience with onsite. Yeah.

Talk about being parents and improving our relationship together, our relationship with God, really leading to our faith. And just sharing our journey of life with people, I think could be super beneficial. I'm all in. Cheers. Cheers. You and your Liquid Death. Love my Liquid Death. Not sponsored, but

we've been slug in Liquid Deaths. I really respect the brand as a whole. I haven't. I'm a little anti. Oh, sorry. When I said, why are you anti? Because it's just waste. No, it's not.

It's delicious water, first off. It's water. I got into a pretty much a fight in Whole Foods with the cashier. Because she's like, oh, these are flying off the shelves. I'm like, it's just water. She's like, no, it is not just water. And I'm like, oh, gosh, she's one of them. But from a branding perspective and from a founder,

yes, I will say the branding. Positioning and a brand kind of just story, very impressive. It is. I respect it. So I'm going to cheers to. It's still just water. It's honestly delicious water. And the team here drinks so many of them.

It's ridiculous. So that's the episode. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Cheers. Go make yourself some sour dough. Pickled beet. Get you some pickled beats and start throwing some sauerkraut and with your rice and beef. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for being on here. See ya.