The Nick Bare Podcast - 059: Forward Is the Way, Leadership Is a Responsibility

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

In today's episode, I am breaking down the responsibility of being a leader. We all take on leadership roles in some capacity, and it is our responsibility to learn and grow in these positions. While I wasn't always confident in my leadership abilities, my experiences as a platoon leader in the Rangers and leading BPN for the past 12 years have provided me with invaluable insights and lessons that have shaped my leadership ethos. Tune in to this episode to hear more about my journey and be encouraged on how you can develop into a leader that people are compelled to follow. Enjoy! Save 10% at BPN Supps: https://bit.ly/nickbare10audio Follow for more:  IG: https://www.instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Topics: 0:00 Intro 0:33 Welcome 3:24 My recommended reads 6:16 Leadership is not a job title 14:47 My first introduction to leadership 25:07 The start-up phase 30:13 BPN equity incentive plan 42:59 Never Go Back 56:20 Comparison 1:02:49 Competitors vs enemies

In today's episode of the podcast, we are talking all about leadership. Things that I've learned in the past 12 years of building my business, my time spent in the military as an infantry officer. And there's a few things that I want to share, some resources, some books and some quotes that I believe will help you apply the forward is the way leadership is a responsibility mindset. In pleasant peace and security, how suddenly the soul and a man begins to die. In pleasant peace and security, how suddenly the soul and a man begins to die. That is Teddy Roosevelt.

And I heard that quote in one of my favorite podcasts right now that's called Founders. and this Founders episode, I talked about founders in the last podcast episode I did, but in this Founders episode, the host was breaking down the biography or potentially autobiography of the founder of Patagonia.

And they referenced this Teddy Roosevelt quote in there, which is going to explain a lot of what I'm talking about in today's episode. The title of today's podcast episode is Ford is the way leadership is a responsibility. Our entire lives. Our entire lives, everything we do, everything we accomplish, everything we work towards, everything we achieve, everything that we die with is a personal responsibility. And I truly believe that when you take ownership of that and you understand that,

and you realize that and you respect that, your life can and will change, that everything, everything is a personal responsibility. Things will happen to you that are out of your control, good and bad, and it's a personal responsibility for how you react to what happens to you.

And what happens to you can then happen for you. you if you take responsibility for the outcome and the actions. I feel very strongly about that. And the older I get, the more I experience, the harder life becomes the more fulfilled I am in my business, in my fitness, my training, being a dad, soon to be a dad of two. Steph is due in August being a husband leaning into my faith. I feel very strongly about just that personal responsibility aspect and ownership of life. So there's a few things I want to talk about today on the topic of forward is the way.

Leadership is a responsibility. Right now I'm working on a. book. I've been working on a book for the last couple months. The book is called Go on More. And I signed a publishing deal about a year ago. I've been working on this book that has been one of the hardest projects I've ever started and worked on in my life because there's so much that I want to share. And I want to organize these thoughts and articulate my words in a way that impact the reader, the listener and leave a legacy for me and my family, but also inspire people to take action on their lives.

I've been working through this book, and it's just been sparking a lot of ideas and perspectives, some of which I'm going to be sharing in today's episode. I've been doing a lot of reading. I've been doing a lot of reading in the last couple years, but in preparation of organizing this book, I've been going back and referencing a lot of my previous reads that have truly impacted me.

I've been listening to more podcast and, you know, we'll get into some of this, but there's two books that I want to share before we dive in that were recommended to me by our brand director, Alex Rodriguez, a few months ago, and they're very quick, easy reads. They're both by Austin Cleon. One is called Steel Like an Artist.

I will reference this within today's podcast. The other one is called Show Your Work, again by Austin Cleon. And Still Like Your Artist or Still Like an Artist, Subtitle, Ten Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative, and Then Show Your Work is 10 ways to share your creativity and get discovered. Like I said, these are quick, easy reads. They are like 200 pages each, but they're small books. There's a lot of quotes within them, diagrams, graphs, photos, illustrations.

The way I read these, I literally just kept them out on my counter in the morning. When I would wake up and make my cup of coffee waiting and go for my run, I would just read a few pages of these every day and I would blow through the books or at least sections of the book pretty quickly. and I took a lot out of these. Neither of them are groundbreaking information or ideas, but it adds great perspective in terms of stealing like an artist

and showing your work. So I recommend those two reads. Like I said, quick, easy, and some great takeaways. Now, the first thing I want to talk about is that leadership is not a job title. It's a responsibility. And I've gotten this question before. And my my response to this question has evolved over time and that is, is a leader or is leadership a natural born trait

or is it one that is learned through experience? And I believe it's both. Leadership is something that can be God given or the ability to lead leadership traits and characteristics. characteristics. However, it is refined through life, through experience, and as the demands of your leadership abilities increase, you become a stronger leader. And there's different layers and echelons to this. I made a note here, you know, when I think of a natural born leader, someone who has God given leadership traits and characteristics. I think of that kid growing up that you played baseball with or football with or ice hockey. If you played team sports, you might have had this kid on your team growing up.

He typically wore the C on his jacket for team captain or maybe an A for assistant captain. But when I was growing up, there was always that one kid on the team who was loud, who wasn't afraid to tell you if you were doing something wrong, who was cheering you on when you succeeded, who was rooting for you as you failed and you were losing or struggling, someone who had role enthusiasm and true passion and love for the game, for the sport, for the team, for the people. that's someone that I would look at and say, man, like that kid is confident. That kid is strong. He has, he or she has this natural born leadership ability in these skills that can be so beneficial to them as they get older if they maintain and refine those skills and abilities. And now, as I'm about to approach 34 years this summer, some of these skills. kids that I played sports with 10, not 10, not 10 years ago, it'd be like 20 to 25 years ago,

you know, when we were young, and 20 to 25 years ago, thinking back now, those kids on the field who are these natural born leaders that I recognized and thought, man, they have so much potential in life. Their future looks so bright. Some of them have refined those skills and honed in on those God-given abilities. And it's taken them to great lengths with amazing careers, good jobs, making good money. But others who had those same God-given talents have wasted them, have let them just die and slip away because they didn't lean in.

They didn't refine. They didn't keep working towards and on those skills and abilities. So to go back to that question, yes, I think that there are people who are natural-born leaders or have the ability to lead if they really lean in and refine those skills and abilities as they get older. I do believe that. However, that doesn't mean it's going to carry them through the rest of their life. And the reason I want to bring that up and share that is that if you're listening to this,

you may not have been that person at 10, 11, 12 years old who was playing on a sports team and maybe you were shy, timid, you weren't the best athlete, you weren't confident in your ability, you weren't the most popular or the strong, you were never picked first for the team that does not tell you or show you or limit your ability to be a leader in the future. It doesn't at all.

I see some kids now or I see some adults now who were once kids with me who are quiet, timid, nervous, weak, soft who are strong talented, confident leaders now in their personal and professional careers.

So the leadership abilities and characteristics you have as a child, I strongly believe do not determine what kind of leader you are in the future. Because that is a self-responsibility. Leadership and learning leadership and becoming a stronger leader is a self-responsibility. You have to put yourself in the situations. You have to put yourself in places to gain the experience and be challenged and go through hardship and struggle and hurt and learn and adapt and relearn and you get broken down and beat up and get better and better and better. Because like Teddy Roosevelt said, in pleasant peace and security, how suddenly the soul and a man begins to die. that's what happens if you don't constantly apply stress and challenge and hardship.

Is that skill, that characteristic, that ability, which is your edge on the sword that makes you great, becomes dull, very fast, very quickly. But I always think back to, you know, I grew up in a small town, central Pennsylvania, I think back to those kids who are these, what I thought, natural-born leaders that had the greatest chance of success in life as they've gotten older and have grown and married and had kids. And it just did not work out that way

because they didn't constantly or keep applying stress to that ability. Their sword, which once made them great, became dull and useless. But it's never too late. It's never too late to pick that sword back up and sharpen it and make it look bright and beautiful again. But you have to make that choice. It's a personal responsibility. I heard this quote the other day.

Can't remember exactly where I heard it. It probably was in a founder's podcast. Actually, you know what? I might have heard this one. I'm reading right now Sam Walton's book Made in America, which is really good. The story of the Walton family building Walmart.

Crazy fact, if you didn't know this, Sam Walton didn't start and found Walmart until his mid-40s. And, I mean, for decades prior to that, he was in the merchandising retail business. but he didn't found Walmart until his mid-40s, which made him at one point the richest man in America, him and the Walton family.

It's a great book. I highly recommend. I'm taking some amazing things away from it. But getting back to the point, the reason I bring that up is there was a quote in there that said 90% of a leader's job is teaching. 90% of a leader's job is teaching. That in itself is a responsibility.

And that's why I say leadership is not a job title. It's a responsibility. As a leader, you have to constantly and continuously keep learning so you can keep teaching effectively. That's something that I had to learn over time. You know, my first introduction to real leadership, I would say. I played sports growing up and went to college. I was in the Army RRTC program, studied

nutrition. I had opportunities in small groups to step up as a leader and I believe that I did. And looking back, those were tests that evaluated and provided me some confidence in my ability to lead, but my first actual assessed leadership job or profession was when I went active duty military. I commissioned in 2013, active duty army, infantry officer. I spent a year in Fort Benning, Georgia, and then after being Georgia for a year, I was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, landed in Texas in 2014. And when I got to Texas, you know, as an infantry platoon leader, you know that your job once you get to a line unit

is to be an infantry PL platoon leader. And in that position, you are responsible for leading about 40 non-commissioned officers, NCOs, and soldiers. Non-commissioned officers are your sergeants, staff sergeants, platoon sergeant, and you have your soldiers,

privates, private first class, corporals, specialists. And that was my first introduction to what I would say was was real leadership, being evaluated and assessed.

When I got to Texas, my unit at the time was in Germany. And they were coming back from a training rotation. And I think I was in Texas for about 90 days before they got back from Germany. Once I got back from Germany, it was kind of like a reset period.

And I got assigned to a platoon. It was first platoon, Bravo Company, 212 Cav, first armored brigade combat team, first cavalry division. That was my unit. In first platoon,

every platoon has a name in the military. Our platoon was the misfits. which was very fitting for my platoon. And when I got to, when I got to my platoon, I received this piece of advice that I sell to this day, remember, and carry with me.

And someone said, hey, you're going to arrive to this, this unit, this platoon. You have these 40 non-commissioned officers and soldiers. Some of them have been on multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. Some of them have been in the military for 10, 12, 15 years. And here you come in. Brand new second lieutenant.

Fresh as can be. No deployments. No experience. Right out of college. A fresh ranger tab on your shoulder. If you walk in there and you start barking orders and changing things right away, you're going to lose all the respect. and you're going to be kicked out of that platoon as fast as you got in there.

So I said, okay, tell me what I need to do. Please save me from any mistakes that I could make so that I can make this process as seamless as possible and I can build the relationships with the platoon so we can operate as an effective unit. And the person that was giving me this advice said, you need to come in and just observe for a few weeks. don't change anything.

Don't suggest anything. Just come into that platoon, take the platoon leader position, learn from your non-commissioned officers, learn from your platoon sergeant, learn from your soldiers. Let them teach you. They have years and years of experience,

real experience, not just skill level one and tactical experience, but leadership experience. Some of them have led people, led soldiers in active combat zones for months and months and months.

Let them teach you. So that's what I did. I came to that platoon. I took the advice from the mentor that was guiding me and I just sat back and watched and observed. I watched the way that they interacted with each other. I watched the horse play. I watched the brotherhood that was

there. I watched them work in the motor pole and the vehicles and doing PT and going to the range and firing their weapon systems. The way they communicated, the way they worked, the way they trained. I just watched everything. And it was amazing to witness the high level of proficiency and attention to detail and leadership and management that's applied in these military units. And eventually the platoon welcomed me in. They started asking for my advice or my suggestions. And they allowed me to come into that platoon

on their own time, at their own pace, at their will. And that was some of the best advice I've ever been given as a leader. and I learned so much. I was a platoon leader for two years in the Army, and I learned so much during my time there. And a lot of people would think that I learned a lot about tactics and weapon systems and battle drills and the military vehicles, which I did,

but I learned more about people. I learned more about interpersonal relationships. and what motivates people to work? What are people incentivized by? How do people's incentives dictate their behaviors? That's what I learned a whole lot about. And that's what was so rewarding for me. That's where I actually discovered,

like one of my true passions is being provided the ability and the responsibility for other people and to lead them to success or greatness or just improvement and teaching them how to get better. That's what I love about leadership. It's not the title next year name. It's not the rank. It's not the symbol you wear on your chest

in a military uniform. It's none of that. What I love about having the ability and responsibility to lead people is the impact you can leave on an organization, but more importantly, the person, and watching them develop and improve and get better. And when it comes to business, as opposed to the military,

being able to get promoted and make more money and have a greater salary and take care of their families in ways they couldn't before or in ways they never thought they would or could. ever. That's one of the most rewarding parts about being a leader. But that personal responsibility comes down to not chasing that leadership role for the title. Because just because you have the title of being in a leadership role does not make you a leader at all, like zero percent.

But actually taking responsibility of the duties that come with that title, that's what makes you a leader, whether a good leader, an okay, mediocre, expectations met leader, a good leader, or a remarkable leader. I've had the opportunity to be coached

by some remarkable leaders, and they have changed my life. They've impacted my life in ways that I am so grateful for and always will be grateful for because they taught me. They spent their time teaching me how to get better, how to get to where I wanted to be. 90% of a leader's job is teaching.

It's teaching the theory. It's teaching the practical application. It's teaching the courage to make the choice to do and to act. And then it's teaching those people how to be humble enough and remove ego to realize what they did wrong just as much as what they did right

to keep getting better and improving. That's the job of a leader. As I was listening to the podcast episode on founders that was breaking down the life of Patagonia's founder, the Patagonia story is absolutely incredible. If you've never

researched anything about Patagonia. The outdoor apparel gear and accessory brand, their story is incredible. Their mission is incredible. Their founder is incredible. I should say remarkable. Remarkable.

So if you haven't done any research on the Patagonia story founder, or maybe just go listen to the founder podcast episode with the Patagonia founder or about the Patagonia founder, I highly recommend it. But in that episode, they talk about how it's a leader's job to stress a business. And in the absence of stress, in the absence of crisis,

it's a leader, or in this case, a founder's responsibility, to create crisis, controlled crisis, controlled stress, to push the people, to teach the people,

to teach the team how to improve, how to get better, how not to maintain or become complacent. Because like Teddy Roosevelt said, in pleasant peace and security, how suddenly the soul and a man begins to die. In the absence of crisis, in the absence of change, we die.

We stop evolving and we die. and that's a leader's responsibility is to constantly create that feeling. Now, BPN has been in business now for this August will celebrate 12 years, which is, it's crazy to think 12 years ago I started this company in my college department at the Indiana University of Pennsylvania. And I do believe we are just getting started. and I know a lot of people say that, but I do believe it.

Some of the best businesses in the world have taken decades, decades to get to where they want to be. And I still consider us in the startup phase. So if you are just starting your business, I would encourage you, ask yourself, are you willing to potentially be in the startup phase for 10 plus years? Because that's potentially what you're going. what it takes.

BPN is still in the startup phase. At the size of business we are, with the amount of employees on the things that we're working towards and operating within, we're still in the startup phase. Startup phase of a business is challenging. It's tough.

There's a lot of change, but with a lot of change also comes the opportunity for a lot of growth. there's some crisis involved in there. If you're working for in a startup company, you have to be adaptable. You have to be able and willing to pivot and adjust with the change

and be okay with crisis and operating towards growth and creating solutions that address problems as you're kind of blocking and tackling issues as they arise, the startup world, startup business is not for everyone, and that's okay. Because if you can't embrace change, if you can't embrace discomfort and crisis,

you will crumble in the hardship of what is a startup. But that's why I love it. And that's why I love leading a business that's in the startup phase. that's where I get a lot of my pure passion and fulfillment. It's not the business as a whole that I get all that passion, but it's the people in that business working towards that mission in an environment that embraces change in growth opportunities. That's what I love.

That's where I find so much fulfillment. That's why I love leading in this space because leadership is not a job touch. title, it's a responsibility. And it's a leader's responsibility to facilitate, own, manage, and enforce evolving change. So the next thing I want to talk about is the 2024 BPN EIP. EIP stands for equity incentive plan. For years, we have been promoting

and preaching to the BPN employees, to the BPN team, this ownership mindset. You know, show up to work, acting like an owner. Show up to work thinking you are an owner. And I think what we learned through that whole process

is like, yes, you can, you can show up with an ownership mindset, but it makes it a whole lot easier to show up with an ownership mindset when you are an owner. So that's one of the things we decided to do when we just launched. Is it equity incentive plan. So all full-time employees at BPN now have the opportunity for a stock option program that they get access to after working at BPN for six months.

It vests over, fully vests over three years. It's accelerated with a change. change of control, which means that, say, for example, one day we sell this business. And all of your stock options in the business did not best, fully vest, by the time we sell the business. Well, what happens is if the business was sold in all of your stock options as an employee were not vested, the sale of that business would trigger all. of your stock options to fully invest.

Just wanted to explain that a little bit. So now, all BPN, full-time employees, will have ownership in BPN. They will be owners, equity owners, of stock options in the company, which I'm extremely excited about. And I don't share that information to pat ourselves in the back

and say, look at us, look what we're doing. But a lot of the content that I share, a lot of content I create is around how I'm training, how I'm building a business, how I'm learning how to be a father, how I'm learning how to be a better husband.

All of the content I create is about the things that I'm learning. And I've learned a lot about business and building a team and leading people over these last 12 years. But more importantly, these last 12 to 24 months, I've learned a lot. I've learned a crap ton. And I felt a personal responsibility.

I felt like the right thing to do to give the people who are so loyal to me and the brand in our mission that they deserve and should be given stock options in the company. so that now everyone can show up to work with an ownership mindset. And again, I don't share this to say, like say thank you to me and pat me on the back, but for other founders out there, for other entrepreneurs out there,

other business owners, I hope that some of the stuff I'm sharing here can help you make similar or different choices as you grow and scale your business. Or you think about starting in business. Or maybe it's create some questions you have for the business that you work for now or in the future. But I want to pull a quote from Austin Cleons, Show Your Work. It's page 33.

And the section here is titled, Take People Behind the Seins. There's a quote here from Anne Friedman. it says pull back the curtain on your process. That's one thing that I have found to be very beneficial and super successful for us here at BPN is that we've pulled back the curtain and showed the process of what we're doing and how we're getting there.

And that's why we're being so transparent with a lot of things we do here at BPN is we want to pull back the curtain and show you how we're building this business and that when you buy products from us at BPN, that's an investment in our team, that's an investment in us,

I want to show you where that money is going towards. And a lot of our investment is back into our team. But page 33, it says when a painter talks about her work, she could be talking about two different things. There's the artwork, the finished piece,

framed and hung on a gallery wall. And then there's the art work. All the day-to-day stuff that goes on behind the scenes in her studio, looking for inspiration, getting an idea, applying oiled to a canvas, etc. There's painting the noun and there's painting the verb. As in all kinds of work,

there is a distinction between the painter's process and the products. of her process. Amazing. And then it goes on to say, this all made sense in a pre-digital age when the only way an artist could connect with an audience was through a gallery show or write-up

in some fancy art magazine. But today, by taking advantage of the internet and social media, an artist can share whatever she wants, whenever she wants, at almost no cost. she can decide exactly how much or how little of her work and herself she will share. And she can be as open about her process as she wants to. She can share her sketches and works in progress, post pictures of her studio, or blog about her influences, inspiration, and tools.

By sharing her day-to-day process, the only thing she really cares about, she can form a unique bond with her audience. That summarizes pretty well why we share what we share and how I have always approached social media. I look back to when I was documenting building the business when I was in Texas and then when I got stationed in South Korea with the army for a nine-month rotation,

documented every part of building the business. and it's created a strong bond and connection with our audience and our consumer and the people who follow the content and support the brand. And that's been very powerful for our business. So that's the 2024 BPN equity incentive plan. We've made every full-time employee at BPN an owner, having equity in the brand. That's something I'm extremely proud of. that brings me so much joy and fulfillment and passion.

And this past year, there was a lot of change within the business. You know, about 15 months ago, I stepped down to the CEO role, thinking that was the right decision for me and my family at the time, put an operator in place, moved a small team out to Nashville, Tennessee, decided it wasn't the right choice, moved back in the, the CEO role, moved my family and small team back to Texas, operating the day-to-day and leading the team once again.

And a lot of the people working for BPN during that time moved into different roles, had different direct reports and managers, their job responsibilities changed, their entire jobs changed, they were moving to different positions. we asked a lot of that team. And during that process, some people decided that BPN wasn't the place for their professional career, and that is completely okay.

And I respect that decision fully. I support that decision fully. But there are other people who really fought alongside me for this past year. And when we asked to try something new, they were fully on board with that chain. And people work long days and late nights and weekends to support the business. And I am so grateful for that support.

I'm so grateful for that loyalty. I'm so grateful for those people. And this is also another opportunity for me to show that sincere gratefulness. Like the team I have right now, that's a team I want to fight with. that's a team I want to go into battle with. That's the team that I want to move into this next phase of BPN with. And that's what we're going to do. I truly believe that the greatest investment you can make in your business is the people.

Steve Jobs has a pretty good quote that I've been thinking a lot about recently. He said, I was taught by some wise people that if you manage the top line of your company, being customers, the people, product, strategy, then the bottom line will follow. But if you manage the bottom line of your company, meaning finances first, and you forget about the rest, you will eventually fall because you took your eyes off the real prize. Now, it's common sense. If you focus on the right things, the outcome, the success will follow. eventually, maybe not right away.

If you hire the right people, if you truly focus on your core values, if you create quality product, and you keep improving and working towards maintaining those relationships, taking care of people, offering real solutions to problems that your customers are experiencing,

you will be rewarded with growth and success. However, if you start focusing on money and profits, and those decisions guide every other decision after that, meaning that the customer, the employees, the team, the values come second, everything will crumble very, very quickly. And what I've learned is that sometimes while you're building a business, no one's perfect.

I'm not perfect. We've made a lot of wrong decisions. I personally have made a lot of wrong decisions in my 12 years of being a business owner, an entrepreneur, a leader. There are times where you will focus on the wrong things. There are times where you make the wrong choices. But I'll tell you one thing. The outcome, the results will quickly tell you if you're focused on the right things or the

wrong things. The outcomes being the feedback and the relationships from the people in the team, the culture, product sales, customer feedback, all of those things, things that matter, the impact. So it's better to manage your top line and allow the bottom line to follow. As you guys probably know, I'm a big fan of Dr. Henry Cloud, a lot of his books. I first started reading some of his work through trust. And I love trust.

Actually, funny story. So I just finished trust a few months ago. And that was one of those books that found me at the right time, the right place in my life. And it was really powerful. and it just woke me up from a lot of just shit that I was dealing with. And this one weekend here in Nashville, the BPN team, side note,

I'm still living in Nashville at the time of this recording. Me and my family are moving out of Nashville back to Texas next month. So we'll record probably a few more episodes while still being here in Nashville before we close this office down. And then we're pushing back into Austin. So like I said, a few months ago, the BPN media team was in town in Nashville.

We were doing just some workshops on all things, video, brand, media, creative. And the last night everyone was in town, we went to Soho House Nashville for dinner. And we're sitting at Soho House, eating dinner. And then from the corner of my eye, Like I said, I just finished reading trust. The corner of my eye, I catch Pastor Lyle Phillips.

Pastor Lyle, he's the pastor of Legacy Church here in Nashville. I've had him on the podcast, amazing dude with a great story. I saw Lyle and I ran over and just shook his hand and said hi. And then I saw who was sitting down at the table with him. And it was Dr. Henry Cloud. and I had to tell him. I was like, Dr. Henry Cloud, I just finished reading trust.

It found me at the right time, right place. I appreciate your work so much. It helped me tremendously. I actually, like, as I was reading that book, decided I needed to jump back into the CEO role of my business, which I stepped down from that role about a year ago from,

ended up moving my family to Nashville. After reading your book and doing a lot of just self-work, I realized it was time for me to move back. Me and my family to go back to Texas and me to jump back into the CEO role and lead this team into the future. And he said,

you gotta read necessary endings next. Based off of the chapter of life you're in, what you're going through, read necessary endings. And I took that as an order. He said, yes, sir. Gave him a little salute, shook his hand, went back to the table,

had dinner with the team. We crushed some food. And the next morning I woke up for my run. And I downloaded necessary endings on Audible. And I started reading that book. And again, changed my life. A lot of these books that I come across, I feel like, truly,

I feel like a lot of these books that I come across and I read, find me at the perfect time and the perfect place. and they help me navigate so many problems and issues that I'm dealing with. I'm just so grateful for authors and podcasters and people who just share amazing information because it helps me personally, but also helps me to be a better leader in the business so I can teach people more effectively. So then I became a huge fan of Dr. Henry Cloud, and I just started reading another one of his books called Never Go Back.

Dr. Henry Cloud, a lot of his books, they have a science and study research foundation, theory, application. But what's different about Dr. Henry Cloud's work is there's a faith foundation as well. There is a Christianity component to them, which really, for me, adds a, a great layer of leadership insight that allows me just this great opportunity to apply to my family

in my business and my team. But never go back. I want to share some key takeaways as we're on the topic of Ford is the way leadership is a responsibility. Again, I'm going to quote, first Teddy Roosevelt and in the Bible. good old Teddy said the only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything

the man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything remember that because if you think that progress is linear which we'll get into some of that and this next thing I'm going to talk about but if you think progress is always going to be linear

based off of what you see here and the people around you, you're going to be sadly mistaken because you will make mistakes. You will fail. It's going to happen. I guarantee it if you are trying to achieve something big, bold, and ambitious. And if you're not making mistakes, if you're not failing, those goals that you set aren't big enough.

They're not ambitious enough. They're not challenging enough. So you should lean in, expect, and embrace mistakes and failure. Because the man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything. I promise you that. Now, what I want to pull from the Bible is that if the axe is dull and the edge unsharpened, more strength is needed. But skill will bring success.

If the axe is dull in its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed. But skill will bring success. Meaning that if something doesn't work or it's working less effectively, one way to fix that is by working harder. However, you're going to have greater success if you try differently. apply a different skill. Now, what Dr. Henry Cloud talks about and never go back is that where a lot of people fail

in life, in leadership, in business, with their fitness and nutrition goals and relationships, is that something won't work. And then they'll say, screw that, never doing that again, A few weeks and months go by, and you forget about the trauma you experienced by the negative consequences of what went wrong. And you end up going back and doing that same thing over again in the same way you previously did it,

expecting a different result when in reality that same outcome happens. The best way to describe it is people who get in these circular relationships, not meaning with multiple people, but the same person over and over again. Or say, for example, you're dating this girl or this boy and you're in a relationship and that person cheats on you. And you get angry, you get mad. So you break up with them, you move on.

A few months, maybe years later, you come back to that person and you realize, man, I do miss them. I loved being around them. Here's all these things that I loved about them. So you decide to take them back. And once you start dating again,

you realize nothing changed. They're still acting in the way they were previously. You still don't have trust with them. They're communicating with other people behind your back. They're doing things that are shady. and what happens, they cheat on you again. And you say, crap, I'm going to break up with them again. And a few months or a few years go by,

you find yourself in a position, you know, you come across them at the Twinkist, ice cream shop, your eyes meet, you realize how much you miss them, how perfect they were, you fall in love once again, nothing is changed. And they cheat on you once again. Now, this is all dramatic, but I'm sharing this reoccurring theme to show that if you keep going back to your past and expecting a different outcome, although nothing has changed, the situation, the conditions, the people, the behaviors, if nothing has changed, you should expect a similar outcome.

stop going back to things that didn't work previously and applying the same level of strength and the same skills as you did before expecting something different and as long as you keep doing that you're going to hold yourself back from moving forward so you have two options

one you can learn from what you did previously never go back to what you were previously doing only move forward that might mean ending relationships, ending business partnerships, ending your employment at an employer that you didn't enjoy, whatever it is. If you had a negative experience, don't ever go back to that and move forward. Or you can go back to what you were previously doing, but you have to do things different. differently. It can't be done the same way. Someone or something has to change for you to move on and move

forward. I think back to like these classic sport movies. Because one of the ways that Dr. Henry Cloud explained it in the book is that a lot of people will argue against this saying, well, what about like redemption? You know, you see these these athletes. or these sport teams that lose. They lose the championship. They lose the Super Bowl. They lose the Stanley Cup. They lose the World Series.

They lose this huge boxing match. And they go back and they do it over again. Well, that's going back for redemption. Redemption is it's okay. It's perfectly fine. It's encouraged. But redemption only works. if you apply a different strategy than before.

Like, look some of these classic sports movies around boxing, ice hockey, football. You have, like, the Rocky movies, and you have, like, Rudy and Miracle, for example. There was some sort of loss or hardship in the course of the journey in that film. in that storyline. And what happens is the character or characters and teams,

they go back for redemption, but they do something different this time to resharpen the edge of that sword, to make them great again, to make them better. And by doing something differently, applying more strength in a different skill, in a different way, they can then move forward,

redeem redemption, and win. But if they were to go back and apply the same training program, the same regimen, compete against the same boxer at the same weight or the same team, then expect a different outcome by doing the same thing they previously did, that would make them crazy. That would make them weak. That would set them up for loss and failure.

Next thing to talk about, comparison is the thief of joy. I have a long chapter or section in my book that I'm writing right now all about this. So as I've been writing this section, I've been doing a lot of studying, researching, and reading. And I'm going to reference Steal Like an Artist by Austin Cleon for this part right here. Now, within Austin's book, Steal Like an Artist, he does reference some other author, and people that I will also reference, but I pulled all of these quotes from his book. There is a difference between comparison and inspiration.

And there's healthy inspiration, there's unhealthy comparison. And I think it's the best way to look at this. And you might ask yourself a question, well, how do I know if I have healthy inspiration or unhealthy comparison? A lot of that it's going to come down to the self-responsibility to exhibit self-awareness. Self-awareness is one of those skills and characteristics that I believe is absolutely critical and essential for you to get to where you want to be.

if you lack self-awareness, you probably don't know it, first off. So I'm sorry. Maybe I lack self-awareness. Who knows? Maybe that's the best part. Maybe we're just ignorant to having self-awareness. But there's this gut feeling,

there's this intuition when you know if you're inspired by something, which feels good, it creates optimism, enthusiasm, positivity. And there's comparison, which has more of a negative connotation to it, where it brings and creates anger and resentment and negative feelings about yourself.

It ignites self-doubt. That's how I would compare and contrast comparison versus inspiration. But this book, here still like an artist. The description of the book is an inspiring guide to creativity in the digital age

that presents 10 transformative principles that will help readers discover their artistic side and build a more creative life. Nothing is original. So embrace influence. School yourself through the work of others. Remix and reimagine

to discover your own path. and in the book he quotes T.S. Eliot. T.S. Eliot says, immature poets imitate. Mature poets steal. Bad poets deface what they take and good poets weld their theft into a hole of feeling which is unique, utterly different

from that from which it was torn. And Austin goes on to say, you're only going to be as good as the stuff you surround yourself with. My mom used to say, garbage in, garbage out. It used to drive me nuts, but now I know what she meant. Your job is to collect good ideas. The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by.

You see, what I love about all this is that if we confuse comparison and inspiration, we will try to protect and shield ourselves from everything. I'm afraid to compare myself to other things or people. So I'm not going to get on social media. I'm not going to read the newspaper. I'm not going to look at the news. I'm not going to talk to people. I'm just going to be head down and work and drive forward.

And you can be head down, work, drive forward by still consuming the right. kind of content that inspires you, but does not spark comparison. Because once you lean more towards comparison and more away from inspiration, you will create self-doubt. And I like to say that doubt is only dangerous when you start doubting yourself. As a leader of an organization, if you keep comparing your work to your competitive, editors, your business to other businesses.

What you're building, what you're doing to everyone else, it will hold you and your team back dramatically. Dramatically. It will create plateaus. You will regress. I mean, it is a dangerous place to be, especially as a leader. Because what you feel as a leader, what you exhibit as a leader, and, you feel, you exhibit as a leader, and if you wear your feelings like a sleeve,

everyone will feel it and know it. It is your self-responsibility to consume great content that sparks inspiration, not only for yourself, but your team, your business, your organization, your family, your friends, and using that inspiration for good

as opposed to comparison for the evil. If you're constantly comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter 10, you won't be happy, you won't be fulfilled, you will be stuck, you will feel stuck. You will live in a life of negativity. So, find that bridge between comparison and inspiration, and walk towards inspiration and away from comparison, because one is healthy, one is not. And the last thing I'm going to talk about in this episode that is titled Ford is the

way leadership is their responsibility. Just like being a parent, you know, as a parent to a now almost two-year-old daughter and a son on the way, as my daughter is like reaching this new age of being a toddler, where I'm realizing understanding what the terrible twos are. These tantrums come out of nowhere. It's wild. But I'm picking up on the fact that Charlie will replicate

a lot of the things that I do. My mannerisms, my actions, things that I say. Like when I take a buy out of food, for example, I'd be like, oh, so good. That's so good. Now I notice when Charlie eats food, she goes, so good.

So good. blows my mind that she's picking up on all these things. But as our children pick up on our mannerisms and the things that we say and the way that we treat people and our values and all the things in our life, the same thing goes when you are in a leadership position. Your team, your organization, that culture will be a reflection, a mirror of everything you do, practice, preach, and live by. and there's this one thing that I've been really reinforcing into our team this last 30 days that I feel very confident about.

And I think over this last year, as I've been out of the CEO role, I've talked about this pretty openly, but I've leaned more into my faith in building a relationship with God over this past year. It has definitely influenced the way that I'm approaching business moving forward. The way that I'm leading teams and forming relationships, and this one feels really important to me and I brought it up at our last couple all-hands meetings

and I've been sharing these quotes with the team but it said if you view everyone as your enemy everyone will be your enemy if you view everyone as your enemy everyone will be your enemy there's a difference between healthy competition and competitors

and enemies competition's good having competitors keeps you in business. It makes you push forward and innovate and try new things, different things. Get better. Push your team. Create those changing necessary evolutions and the crisis that puts the pressure on the people

to grow and develop. Those are all great things. But just because someone is your competitor, does not mean they are your enemy. I've heard from a lot of professional athletes that when they are on the field or they're on the court, they have this switch that flips in their mind where they don't view the other team as competitors any longer,

but they are actual enemies. I think there's a positive way to channel that so you can be the most effective athlete you can possibly be in that period of time where you're performing. I don't think personally there's anything wrong with that. But if you always view these people as your enemies, they will become your enemies.

And if you start seeing everyone else as your enemy, no one's on your side, no one understands you, no one gets you, no one's rooting for you any longer, they will naturally become your enemy because your subconscious actions will reflect what you believe and where you want to be and what that interpersonal relationship with everyone else looks like. So I'll quote one of my favorite books,

The Courage to Be Disliked. And it says, the reason so many people don't feel happy while they are building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition. Because to them, the world is a perilous place that is overflowing with enemies.

When you're able to truly feel that people are my comrades, your way of looking at the world will change utterly. No longer will you think of the world as a perilous place or be plagued with needless doubts. The world will appear before you as a safe and pleasant place and your interpersonal relationship problems will decrease dramatically. Viewing people as your comrades as opposed to your enemies

will change your interpersonal relationship problems and improve the happiness, fulfillment, and passions of your life significantly. I can tell you from personal experience, this is true. For me, at least, I got to a point in my professional and personal career in life where I didn't think anyone understood me anymore. I felt like I was fighting this fight alone.

I felt like all I had was critics in the world against me because the few loud were a lot louder than the many supportive and more quiet. And I started viewing a lot of people as my enemy. And naturally what happened is they became my enemy. People could feel the way that I was approaching my relationships, my life, and the people in it. And it very quickly became a dark, closed off place and space that I wasn't happy in.

And when I flipped the switch, which I was able to do with honestly a lot of reading and a lot of just deep work on myself and talking with mentors and other people in my lives that I was able to see life a little different.

I was able to see people as competitors and comrades as opposed to enemies. And it changed the way I live, it changed our business. It changed the way we, it changed the way we approach business for the better. So if you are a leader, it is your personal responsibility to lead your team, lead

your organization, viewing people as healthy competitors and comrades as opposed to enemies. So those are a few things that I wanted to share that have been on my mind that I've been applying to my leadership, moving back into the CEO rule of BPN. but I truly believe that leadership is a personal responsibility. And if you apply and practice leadership in the right way, forward progress, forward momentum is going to happen. Ford is the way leadership is a responsibility. We'll see you guys in the next episode.