The Nick Bare Podcast - 094: How To Use Curiosity and Courage To Change Your Life with Lucy Davis

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

In this episode, Lucy Davis, who recently became a BPN athlete, discusses her journey as a hybrid athlete, the importance of setting challenging goals, and the satisfaction that comes from the struggle rather than the achievement itself. Lucy also opens up about her experience with imposter syndrome and how she's learning to combat it by setting both performance and personal goals. The conversation revolves around the evolving mission of BPN and its focus on creating an inspiring training environment, culminating in an exciting preview of upcoming challenges and the importance of living life passionately. Chapters 00:00 The Struggle and Satisfaction of Achieving Goals 01:06 Welcome Back, Lucy Davis! 01:33 The New BPN HQ and Human Performance Lab 04:20 Becoming a BPN Athlete 06:21 The Evolution of BPN and Aligning with Values 10:57 Performance Goals vs. Aesthetic Goals 17:15 The Speed Project Experience 21:49 Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Gratitude 24:47 Curiosity and Courage: The Power of Tattoos 28:34 Taking Action on Curiosity 36:10 The Power of Belief and Perseverance 37:38 Training for a Sub-Three Marathon 39:28 Mindset and Race Day Preparation 44:48 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome 51:38 Finding Happiness and Setting Goals 01:01:43 The Importance of Passion 01:12:19 Embracing Change and Living Fully BPN ANNUAL BLACK FRIDAY 2024 SALE FAQs - NOVEMBER 12-14: https://www.bareperformancenutrition.com/pages/black-friday-sale?utm_source=Klaviyo&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=BFCM%20-%20Details%20%2801JC3XRDH8280B0KTZQKNKNE7J%29&_kx=mtDHVhNMXUpohDPXN8x7dA.WXXxWk Strength, endurance, and wellness supplements to fuel your performance. SAVE 10% at BPN Supps: https://bit.ly/nickbare10audio Follow: IG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Keep up with Lucy: IG: instagram.com/lucydavis_fit/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@LucyDavisFit

The satisfaction of success doesn't come from achieving your goals, but from struggling well. I love that. That's really powerful because they are a struggle. Your goals are for sure difficult things. There's not every single goal that I've set myself that I've achieved. It's that I enjoyed the process of going through a goal and whatever I've set myself. But that hits home because they are a struggle. They should be a struggle.

Well, yeah, they should be a struggle. I think you need to set them, like some people will set like a really easy goal to say they've hit a goal. And I'm like, that's cool. Like, fair enough. I set mine, the rule. Some are just on the cusp that I think unsure. That's going to be really difficult. I want to struggle in the process.

And I know it's going to be so challenging. If and when I achieve it, I mean, it's going to be absolutely amazing. Yeah. But the process and the journey to get there, that's where the satisfaction comes from. Yeah. It's not just crossing the finish line. it's the whole journey. Today on the podcast, we have returning guest, Lucy Davis.

Welcome. I'm very excited to being in the official podcast studio. Not that I didn't love being set outside in L.A. during the Speed Project, but I think my mind was quite clouded before that because I was so nervous to race. Whereas I'm in the official, do we call the official go one more, the official BPN, the official Nick Bear, what, what do we do we? we call this? Well, this whole suite that we're in, I call it our content hub.

Content hub. And I can't wait for our future HQ, which we'll move into next April, April, May timeframe 2025 because the podcast studio that we're building out is much larger than this. It has a dedicated green room podcast studio, and it's right next to our gym, which is 9,000 square feet. That's insane. And we're not even calling in a gym. We're calling it the human performance lab. Oh, that's very cool. I mean, this gym is already incredible. Like, I was just in there by myself yesterday, ripped a high rock session,

then did the bike, and I was just like blasting music. I thought, this is great to have this space. So the fact you're getting somewhere that's even bigger is wild. Yeah, it's one of my favorite places, especially like BPN HQ gym, workouts late at night, garage doors thrown up, music blaring. That's just like a vibe that it's really hard to describe unless you experience and feel it. 100%. I didn't know what that would feel like until I came here because I see everyone train and thinking,

oh, that looks nice. It's different than nice. It's just you feel very, I trained so well yesterday. I felt so powerful like it was just me. I was in my element. It's a great space. Yeah, the door's open. It's hot.

And I was like, this is a bit of me. I like this. I think there's something there. You know, I'm a big advocate of setting the conditions to succeed and reach your goals and win and achieve your full potential. And a big part of that is setting the conditions, creating the environment, the people, the place, the energy. That's always been my goal with be. PNHQ and that's the intent we're taking to this new space. I want to set the conditions where when you walk in and that's not why we're,

that's why we're not calling it a gym in this next space. We're calling it a human performance lab because that sets the conditions of what the intent is that you're supposed to do when you walk through that door. It's not just working out. It's training human performance. Well, you're setting a standard of something that you want because everyone, one will have different goals who trains there and they're all different, but you're almost setting that environment to set a standard of people. It's like, you know, you're going in and you're

going to work hard. You're going to have an intention for the session or whatever you're doing. And I love how everyone is training completely differently. You've got hierarchy, you've got people running. I was running outside. You've got people doing bodybuilding. It's really, it's a very, very special environment, and I'm very proud to be a part of it. Well, with that being said, I want to thank you again for deciding and choosing to work with BPN. You are our most recently announced official BPN athlete. Congratulations, but thank you. But thank you for working with us.

It's, I feel like it's been a long time coming. I've always been aware of you. I think it was in 2022, I did a day in the life of you. I remember that. And like, your training. And I message you. And I was like, give me like a really difficult. And I remember the session.

It was insane. It was like 21K worth and I had a lifting session and I hit all your paces that you said and I literally sent myself into the death of doing it. And then I was very aware of BPN and you and things like that. And then we did the speed project. And since then I was like, that's where I need to be. They're my people. I didn't obviously know any of you or had met any of you, the media guys. I hadn't met you personally. As soon as as I did the speed project, I felt a part of BPN and a part of that family knit and it's very, you know, community is a really big thing for me. And then, yeah, we've obviously been working on this and for me to become an athlete and my life has changed so much in the past couple of months. This has been like a pivotal point for me to become a part of, it's not just, I don't see it as, oh, it's your sponsored athlete. I am a part of this, this team. this family. I feel very included. I've obviously been so looked after by like Tony and Luke and they're incredible people. And it's more than just, oh, yeah, she's just a sponsored athlete.

It's not that for me. It's so much more. And that's something I'm very, very thankful for, for you for allowing me to be a part of that. I appreciate that. The brand has evolved a lot over the last couple years. In 2012, when I founded it, it was all around bodybuilding and strength training. And then we evolved to this hybrid space after discovering running and marathons and endurance training. And going into this next year, there's a few areas that we really want to refine and focus on. And a lot of brands, we used to be this way too. It's you just sign athletes who have large followings to help promote and grow your business, your brand, the product offering. And we used to take that approach, but we've since really refined who we are, who are serving, and what we want to do.

Like, our mission has become so clear. And we want a need to align with people who align with that vision and those values. Like, we are going after to serve the hybrid athlete, performance endurance athletes who are committed to achieving more. It's not someone who just every once in a while eats healthy, goes to the gym and works out. We want to serve people who train and train hard and train with intention. And they apply that intention and commitment to every part of their life. The way they do one thing is the way they do everything. And I think that is why the partnership with you is so pivotal and important.

It's because you embody everything that BPN is. and needs to be in the future. That's why I align with it so well because I did used to be just performance when I swam and then I went very much into the aesthetics. I think everyone does that. I almost think you have to kind of go through that to realize, well for me anyway,

that is categorically not the most important thing. And I only started running about two and a half, three years ago. And it was during COVID because obviously all the gym is shut And I thought, oh, this is, my headspace is not, it's not good. And I never saw running. I know a lot of people say, oh, running's my therapy. I don't really get that from running. I just, I make my best decisions.

I get a lot of clarity. Like, I'm a very busy person. And I will go in a run and I'll feel clearer. They're not always easy. Like an easy run doesn't always feel great because my legs are so heavy from previous sessions or whatever I'm doing. I just know I get so much mental clarity. I feel clear.

I have intentions when I run. I know exactly what I want to do. And I don't like the cliche phrase because it changed my life, but it really did. Like becoming a hybrid athlete and then focusing on performance over aesthetics, it genuinely changed my life. And that's why I feel the fact BPN is performance endurance and going down that route. It's really special to me because I'm, that's me.

that's exactly what I want to do. I've got some ridiculous goals next year that I don't even know if I can do it. Like they're very scary, the goals I've set myself next year, like one of them being a hundred-miler at the end of the year in America somewhere. And it's just, oh, I don't know how I'm going to feel doing that. I'm very curious and the tattoos and stuff we'll probably speak about. But the fact that the products, I'm very particular with what products I will take, you can't beat them.

I'm allowed to say that now because I've not been able to for the past couple months but having to be able to take a product that actually helps you perform is so different. When I started taking

I asked Tony to send it out to me because I saw you were taking it. The peak sleep it changed my life. I've not been sleeping well at all past couple of months genuinely it's something I'm usually really

gotten is like recovery sleep my brain's been very busy at the moment and it's just, I've not been very settled. And I'm just constantly up in the night, maybe like four or five hours sleep for the past two months, not great for performance, not feeling great. I started taking feet sleep and I thought, this is wild. Like, I'm just, I was like out like a lie. And so it's taking products like genuinely that are going to help you perform. And there's not really any other like supplement nutrition company who,

who are doing that. As you said, they're kind of just, oh my God, like this massive array of products in like 50 pre-workouts. It's like, why is there, why is there so many? Have like a couple of really good products that you want people to take that are going to help you perform. But yeah, performance is just, I think it's so much more special to have performance goals than it is aesthetic goals. I'm not saying not to have aesthetic goals, you know, you want to look good, you want to feel good. The performance outweighs everything for me now. It's much more exciting. It's much more enjoyable too. For sure. Setting performance goals over aesthetic goals. I will never step on a bodybuilding stage.

I never will ever. Again in my life. And also, when you train really hard and your performance focused, it makes eating food a whole lot more enjoyable too. A whole lot more enjoyable because we spoke about that last time. We've both had disorderly eating and issues with food. I am in a very, very good place with food.

I just, I eat to perform. I eat to fuel. I, you know, I'm aware of what's in food. My God, I can put food away, though, and it's great because I'm just thinking, okay, so I've got this session going up, I've got this. I can have this many carbs. I can have this much protein. And, yeah, I'm really relaxed around food. It's great.

Yeah, if I don't fuel my performance through food and supplementation, and that's what we do at BPN is we create products to fuel your performance. Yeah. If I'm not fueling my performance, I cannot perform. I think back to, as you just brought up, unhealthy relationship with food, I think back to when I had my eating disorder when I was mid-teens, 14, 15 years old. And if I would lay in bed at night and my stomach was growling, that was a win for me. I was like, yes, I'm going to bed hungry. Now, if I laying bed and I just sense a little bit of hunger, I get up out of bed, I go straight to the kitchen.

I'm like, I need to eat something because if I don't, I will feel this tomorrow morning on my run. Completely different mindset shift. Yeah. I think it's a lot of people will go through that. Again, it's like with, I think that ties in when you're very focused on aesthetic goals, it's very difficult to have a sound relationship with food. It overtakes your whole life.

You can't think straight and you go out for food and you're trying to calculate things or you're missing meal or you're checking them. It's a lot. So I would say from everyone who is listening to this, if you do have aesthetic goals, that's absolutely fine. Please, the life of me, find yourself a performance and a health goal to also have in there. And if you want all three, that's great. I just have like performance in health now.

And aesthetics are a byproducts of how hard I train. But I would say to everyone listening, doesn't matter what that performance goal is. It could be your first 5K or it could be your first ultra, it could be whatever it is. Go out there and just find one. That's what I do love when you share what you're eating on social media. Because you get after it in training. I mean, when I trained with you last week, I knew you were strong. That session was so hard, Nick.

But when I left that workout, because I was with Rich Ryan and Ryan Kent the next day, and I was like, hey, I trained with Lucy yesterday. Lucy is strong. Like, you are strong. Thank you. So you get after it in training, and your physique is very impressive. But then you show what you eat. And I think a lot of people would expect chicken breast, rice, like no seasoning.

And then you go to dinner with friends and you're enjoying all these good foods and you love food. That just like relatability in realness and rawness is so refreshing compared to what is typically portrayed online from the typical athlete or fitness enthusiast. And that's what scares a lot of people away from actually perceiving. suing fitness or performance goals is they think that in order to achieve X, Y, and Z, you have to sacrifice every other part of your life. There are sacrifices, but you don't have to sacrifice every part of joy and fulfillment to achieve X, Y, and Z. No, not at all.

And I appreciate that coming from someone who did have such a poor relationship with food, whereas now I do feel very free. And it's not like, and I do train so hard. and I don't see it. I've trained this much so I can have this many calories. It's just, I can just eat a lot more for my body and for what it's doing. And yeah, it's not good food, bad food. It's just food. There's nutritionally dense and there's stuff that isn't as nutritionally dense. I have it all. I enjoy eating well. It makes me feel good. Like I don't love having oily, fatty foods. I just don't. It doesn't mean I don't have them and I don't have people

like, oh, do you have chocolate and sweets? I'm like, yeah, but just, you know, everything in moderation. I don't cane it in because I'm not going to have a bar of chocolate and then go for a run. I'll have a go bar and go for a run. It just makes me feel a little bit better. So I'm glad it comes across well because there's a lot of girls and women and guys and younger people who are younger than me who are going to go through issues of food and what they see online and there's so much on social media that we can't stop people from seeing. I just hope that the message that I spread It's like empower women and guys like definitely to just know that it gets easier if you're going through something and you just have to learn through experience. You've almost just got to go through it and come out the other side.

It's very aspirational. We talk about this from a brand perspective a lot. But you can look at it through the lens of individuals as well where there's this line that as performance focused brands, companies, or individuals, there's this line of intimidating and aspirational. And a lot of sports nutrition brands go all in on intimidating. And they're not aspirational. And then there's, you know, you go to the farther extreme where it's just soft. There's some brands that do a really good job at writing that line of intimidating and

aspirational, but on the side of aspiration. I think you do a really good job at being aspirational, not intimidating, but also showing like if you work really fucking hard you can get some shit done yeah so speed project was epic do you know what it's one of the best things i've ever done it really is i was thinking back on it and i think for me it was more scary for me because i had to fly across the other side of the world to run 300 miles with people that i didn't know so that was almost something that i was thinking, oh, are they going to like me? Is, are we going to, how is this? And I, I was, I knew we'd all get on. But I was really putting myself out there into a situation that I'd never really been in before.

And then, to then be running together in RVs and Jeeps for 35 hours, you don't know how you're going to feel. And I laughed back because I was speaking, I can't, I think it was hoping Trev was saying, I said this phrase. during the documentary. Oh, an ultra, it's going to be gorgeous. Like super chill. Because that's, in my head, ultras are there, you know,

you're a slower pace, you're taking it all in, you can stop and eat. That was not that. We were literally cooking every single segment we did. And for some reason, before I did the speed project,

I thought, it's going to be gorgeous. It's going to be so chilled. It was not chilled. And it was gorgeous. It was not chilled in any way. There was speed in the speed project. Oh, what was our average pace? Like 630 a mile or something insane.

Yeah, I mean, that last, what, 40 miles going into Las Vegas, I think we averaged like a six minute per mile pace. Yeah. We just, we, we sprinted into Vegas. That was one of my favorite parts, though, because we were just splitting out every mile. It started to rain. We were all absolutely fucked. It was freezing. And I just thought, we're this close.

And also, we just come off power lines. I was like, thank God. We're just on, like, flat road ground. And we were just, yeah, I would. Yeah, I was just sprinting for the life of me. My stomach was so torn up at that point. I was, yeah. Because we were just like trying to, we were trying to fuel so much during that effort.

And then in the documentary does a really good job, you know, showcasing all this. But we're in those, that little Jeep in that truck for, we were in there for like 12 hours, 12 plus hours. Yeah, it was like through the night, wasn't it? It down the entire night. And I remember like after getting out of that truck, my stomach was just destroyed. It was just so. Do you know what it was though as well? Because we, the unexpected thing happened,

which we didn't account for, was the road blockage and getting put off and we obviously got lost. We actually didn't take enough into the jeeps. You were just like, get something warm, get a bottle. We didn't know how long we were going to be on there. I think we thought it would be a couple of that. We were out there for like 12, 14 hours.

Me and Joey just had like 10 go bars between us and like bottles of water. We were like, ah, okay, so we're out here for 12 hours. So we were just a little bit unprepared for that particular segment, which is fine. You do things that are unprepared in life and you just got to deal with it. I almost just, it was instant, okay, we just got to suck it up. We don't have a choice. Like sometimes life you don't get a choice.

And it's like, we're going to be fine. We've got to do it regardless. But yeah, I think I probably went through about 15 go bars in that 12-hour segment. Every time I got back in the truck, I was just eating something different. Some of them my grandma told me. a long time ago. It was, I guess, 2014, so 10 years ago. And I was getting ready to go to Ranger School. I was a brand new second lieutenant in the Army. And she knew that Ranger School is going to be challenging and difficult and I'd be tested. And I had one phone call with her the

night before leaving for the school. And it's a 61-day course if you go straight through. I failed two phases. So I was there for 145 days. Wow. I felt like I was in prison. But she told me, Nick, just remember this two shall pass. And I've applied that to so many other parts of my life since then, where whenever something gets really hard and challenging, and it feels like the world's about to end, it's really easy to be submissive to that pain and discomfort and just allow it to wrap around you and take over every other part of your life

and you become self-destructive. Or you can look at it. it as just a obstacle, a speed bump, and that this two shall pass, that pain, that discomfort, it's not going to last forever. It's going to be a finite period of time. And once you come out the other side, you have learned so much and gained so much new perspective. And you look back years later, and that speed bump will just feel like a blip on the radar. And you'll grow from that experience. I think I've definitely experienced that like heavily over the past couple of months on like emotional level of just feeling there's certain things in life

that just happen and they spring out of nowhere. And then your life can change in an instant for just so many different reasons. And it is, it's just thinking, wow, this feels horrible. Like I feel horrific, like very insecure, lacking a lot of confidence. I don't feel like myself. And when you're in it, it is extremely difficult to look outwards because it feels so painful, whether it's like painful in your heart or your head or your body or whatever you're going through. And then what I like to do or what I have done is just perspective and thinking about things that I've been. through that I've been really difficult in my life previously and I've always got over it and I've always come through it or it's looking at gratitude. I have to do that a lot like I'm so grateful for like this. I'm being in Texas and Austin and being around amazing people and my

friends and my family like I got my sister tattooed me when I'm out here because I am so grateful for my sister. She is someone who I speak about all the time and I love her so much. when you're going through really horrible times, I truly believe you can absolutely get through it because life is almost better on the other side of those things. I think I am definitely, I turn 28 on Sunday. I feel like 28 is going to be the best year of my life, which is a very bold statement, but I've just got this really special feeling that I'm now like truly happy within myself and what I want to do and what I want to achieve and who I'm surrounded myself with. So I think if you're going through something, it's pull it back.

Like, what are you actually really grateful for? You could be grateful for waking up in the morning. You could be grateful that you're literally alive and you get to think and you get to move your body and these grass shoes don't have to be like, oh, I own bit like crazy. They're not that. They have to be something that's more internal to you and that's special to you and like you feel. And I think that's what's got me through.

The past couple months is just how grateful I am about other things in life that are better than hard things. Well, it's interesting that you got, and I want to talk about your tattoos. Yeah. Curiosity and courage. Yeah. Shortly after the Speed Project, you got this tattoo. Yeah, very soon, like a month later.

It's why I say it's interesting that you got courage tattooed on you months ago. It's almost like it was sedent. you up for success months later. Because I talked about this recently, or I think you can solve all of life's problems with courage. Courage is required to take action and solve problems. And so many people are hoping for a solution, but hope and wishing isn't going to change anything.

it's the actual application of the action that's going to change something. And the only way you can take action is by having courage. So my question is, shortly after the Speed Project, why did you get curiosity and courage tattooed on you? Yeah. So I listen back to our episode. And I think I said courage and curiosity so much during it. And then I realize on quite a lot of my videos and content and YouTube, I was saying these two words and then like my first two tattoos. And the thing with

courage, like a really close synonym is bravery. I think a lot of people think you face situations for courage without fear. But I don't think it's that it's having courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And that really resonates with me because I think sometimes people see me doing these crazy challenges. Oh, she's like fearless. No, no, no, no. I am scared to do a lot of these things. I'm fearful. I was so scared to come to L.A. and do the speed project. And it was just almost, okay, I feel that fear, and I'm going to do it anyway. And I'm quite an emotional person. I really feel my feelings. I cry a lot. I cried so much over the past couple of months. But it's having having the courage behind that to feel how I'm feeling and then do it anyway. So that really

resonated with me. And I just, I was saying all the time, I was like, I want to be running and I want to be able to see that on my arm every single day. And then the curiosity one is, is interesting because I ask a lot of questions in life. I'm not embarrassed. If someone, like if you said a word on today's podcast that I didn't know. I'd be like, oh, what does that mean? Because I'm curious. I'm not embarrassed that I don't know everything. Not everyone knows everything. And I like learning. I like understanding what people think. I like understanding what makes them tick. So I have curiosity to find out what I can do in life. I've now gone down the route of doing these physical feats. So the 100-mile, I'm so curious to see how.

how it's going to go. I don't know how I'm going to feel. The first 100K that I did, I'm just curious. I want to see how my body reacts. I want to see how my mind reacts. I want to see how far I can push myself into the pain cave. And then when I put those two words together, courage and curiosity, it's like a deadly duo. I think curiosity is quite like a soft word, but it's like a little bit curious. And courage is a bit more hard hitting. And then you put them together and I feel like it's me. I feel like it just made a lot of sense. Yeah, I probably got them like a month after the Speed Project, their first tattoos. I mean, I think they fit perfectly together. Yeah. Because there are people who are very curious people, but they will

never act on that curiosity. There are people listening to this episode right now once it's released. And they have those same thoughts. Can I? Can I run one mile? Can I complete my first marathon? Can I run 100 miles? Can I start a business? Can I make this much money? Can I be loved?

Can I love myself? All of these things. But they never take any action on that curiosity. So it's always this thought. It's always in their head. But you need the courage to apply and amplify that curiosity to actually find out, can you or can you not achieve it? Like you need both.

Yeah, you do need both. And it's difficult to sign up for the things or experience the things that you are curious about. But you've just got to do it. There's no cushy way of saying that. You just almost, and it is, you've just got to take action. You have this thing of motion action where a great example is, people want to like start reading more or learning more or start a business and things like that,

they'll buy all the books, they will get the self-help books, they'll get the business books, they will sign up to a business course, and that's it. And they'll look at them. And they'll be like, oh, but I've got, you know, I've got them, I'm going to start doing that. No, no, you're just stuck in this wheel of motion, because motion makes you feel good, like, oh, you're buying the books, you're signing up to the courses, you've got yourself a personal trainer. You're just stuck in this cycle of, of that. Whereas when you actually physically go and take the action, that's, okay, you're opening the first page of the book. You've started to read it. Oh, you're listening to that podcast. Oh, you've actually started training. That's the hard bit. That's the bit where you've got to get out

of that cycle. Realize what you're doing. You're just trying to make yourself feel a little bit better by doing those things. But it is. It's what you said. You have to go out there, have the courage to take action. I think one of the best things you can do is just in like a fitness physical sense is sign up to a race in like months time because then you've got no choice you're signed up to it now you've paid for it you've committed tell people about it if you're type of person who needs to be accountable to someone like i tell the world so i'm going to go for a sub three next year i don't think i have to tell the world because i'm like i need to really commit to that goal because it scares the absolute hell out of me and i think that works

quite well to be able to take action on things is, you know, sign up to the race, tell someone about it, get yourself accountable in some way to actually do it. And that's why I do these prep series. Yeah. Yeah, you do yours to like, yeah, the extreme and I love that. I commit and I put the goal out there. And once a goal is out there, it's on. Yeah.

I was listening to an Alex Ramose podcast a few weeks ago. and I think I have this right from what I remember, but he described intelligence in that you measure intelligence by how quickly or how small the gap is in terms of time from when you learn something to when you actually apply what you learned to a behavior and try. So if you learn something, you read about something that you're curious about,

but you never actually make a change in your life. if you never implement that or change a behavior, well, then you lack intelligence. But if you read something, learn something, and then very quickly implement, try, change of behavior, the quicker you do that, the greater intelligence you actually have, then you refine, you pivot, you change, you learn. But I thought that was a very interesting way to describe intelligence.

It's not just knowing things, but it's knowing things, and change in behavior. to test how it actually works. Yeah, because the intelligent thing's really interesting. I feel like I'm an intelligent person. I think I've got quite a high level of emotional intelligence in that aspect where I really think about things. And God, no, I'm not like a physicist in that intelligence in that way at all.

But I really think about things and how I can action it. I think a lot of people are really scared to fail something because if you put yourself out there and like I don't know, I'm competing in six days time, very aware that, that I'm not really thought about the jet lag and things. I, I am a, I'm not necessarily scared. It's my first solos for high rocks. It's been a long time coming. And I kind of have a time in mind that I think I would hit. I obviously don't know because I've never done it. I've just done Sims. What's that time? You're really going to do that to me. I'm actually not told anyone. I'd like sub-62 or sub-61. Okay. Which is bold as hell, like for my first solo.

You're strong, though. Yeah, I'm strong and I can run. And that's what Hi-Rox is. And I can feel a type of pain that I can push through. I've really sent myself into some deep, dark places in my training. I've made my training so much harder than that race is going to be. Like purposely, I've really, I've not been able to finish sessions. I've put myself doing ridiculous paces and things like that. But I'm not scared if I fail that. I'm just not, I used to be so scared to fail in case I was getting judged. The first marathon that I did was only last October.

And I wanted like a 3-11 and I went to 3-18. I was mortified. Like I kind of hedged it a bit and didn't say to people, I wanted a 311. I was like, yeah, like I was going for like sub 320. I was not. I was like 10 minutes of what I wanted to go. But I felt really almost like insecure and that I'd let people down and that I'd failed. I learned so much from that failure and from that first marathon of having that really

uncomfortable feeling of, oh, I did not hit a goal that I wanted to hit. And I think a lot of people. are worried and scared about being judged of what other people are going to say about them. I don't care what anyone would say about me after Sunday's race. Like, I know I'm going to give absolutely everything. If I don't hit the time, I don't hit the time, I'll go again. And that makes me feel quite like brave and strong before I go into something, knowing that I'm in control of how I feel.

I'm in control if I do fail in some way. It's not a complete negative. I will learn so much from that situation. But yeah, I think there's many people who won't do things because of that fear of failure is too big. Like it's too scary. I agree with that. Yeah.

I'm going for a 230 marathon at Grand Molls. Let's go! In Duluth in June. Which is a bold, it's a bold big goal. It's a good goal. I texted Jeff. Jeff Cunningham a few weeks ago. Yeah.

I was like, Jeff on a run. grandma's marathon. I want to do it in 2.30. He was like, Nick, I believe in you more than anyone else, but that is bold. I was like, hey, let's put in the work. Let's see what we can do. You know, I got a Pegasus tattoo to my arm a few weeks ago. And the meaning behind that tattoo is that nothing is unbelievable. Someone might tell me, dude, a Pegasus does not exist. It's not real. How do you know? You don't know that. There might be a pegas out there.

Nothing is unbelievable. If you would have told me when I ran my first marathon in three hours, 57 minutes, and in my second marathon in four hours, in 15 minutes, that one day I'd be going for a 2.30 marathon, I'd say there's no way in hell. Yeah. There's no way. But nothing is unbelievable. I think once you finally accept that, it unlocks every part of your life.

Every part. I don't know if you've read the book Green Lights. I have. I, from what you were saying there, I resonated with things like that that he was saying in that book. Because I used to, I actually, after I read his book, I stopped using the words like,

oh my God, you're unbelievable. Because I was like, oh, actually, that doesn't, I don't think you're unbelievable. I think you're, that's not, I started to see it in a different way. Like, it's not unreal because it is real because you can do it and you can achieve these things. Like, yeah,

after that first marathon, I had so much on. But then straight after the speed project, I did London Marathon 305. I was like, whoa, I can definitely get a sub three. So I'm actually starting coaching with Jeff. Yep. He thinks I can do a 256. So I think he's going to prep me for a 256,

which is that is so scary to me because I'm not just going to be prepping for a sub three marathon. I also have ultras and high rocks like three a month. And I said to Jeff, I was like, just so you're aware, I have a lot going on. He's like, yeah, no, I know. He's like, we're going to do it anyway. You can do it.

Yeah, I think I really do actually think I can. I've come out the past couple of months with this crazy amount of belief in myself. There was almost something stopping me that I didn't think I was capable enough. And people are telling me that I couldn't do it. There's quite a few people where I've said, you know, I'm going to go for a sub three next year. and some ridiculous high rocks times and 100 mile. And they're like, but you can't do all that. And I was like, oh, like, maybe you're right.

I'm not 100% sure. And then they put doubt in my mind and I don't like that. I've had a couple conversations with Jeff. The belief he already has in me, that we're going to go for dinner tomorrow. The belief he has in me that I can do it is all I need. and the beliefs that I have in myself at the end of the day, I don't think I kind of want to prove people wrong a little bit as well

if they don't think I can do it. They're very scary goals. I'm aware of that. I don't know how I'm going to feel, but I'm very excited to prep for them and like the whole process. And I've never done a marathon block prep specifically for that. So that's going to be so much fun. A few things around that.

One, with you splitting time between the UK and Texas. Yeah. You'll have a solid running group here. Yeah. Really solid running group. And I found that when you run with people who are a lot fast than you, you get a whole lot faster yourself. And the second thing is that doubt is only dangerous when you start doubting yourself. Everyone in your circle, your friends, family, people you don't know, the world can doubt you.

And none of that matters until that doubt starts trickling into and onto you. And when you start doubting yourself, just a little bit. it, games over. Yeah. Doubt is only dangerous when you start doubting yourself. Oh, that's, I like that a lot. I don't have any doubts for Sunday. I am so excited.

I'm competing on my birthday. Like, no, I... It's a great birthday. It's a great birthday. I think it's a great way to turn 28. I actually do have some of the most supportive people around me. And because it's like a home crowd, it's Manchester. I am buzzing.

to race. I think as well for this competition, I've worked really hard. Like I actually know the past couple months I've really drilled in to high rocks training. I've never really just done specifically like ridiculous speed work for running just for high rocks and

God, the amount of ergs and fucking burpee broad jumps that I've done. I know I've got like this different level of confidence about me going into this race that I've not really had. And I just feel like I've got itchy feet to race. I can't wait to see how you do. I'm really excited. What's your mindset like

come race day? Of all these races you've done, all these competitions. And here's my my take on this. I have towed the line for many races the last couple years. And a lot of people are there, joking around, having fun, keeping it light, which to each their own. But that's never been my approach. From the time I wake up that morning, to the time I tow the line, to the time I finish and cross finish line, I am so dialed in. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm focused. I'm a different person come race day. It's that mamba mentality. What do you like come race day? I almost feel I have this different persona of, like, I'm a very, like smiley person, I've always chatting to people.

I kind of go in on myself a little bit on race day and I'm just thinking back of like how I do act in certain competitions. I'm very quiet. I will always just have headphones in even if I'm not listening to anything they're just kind of in my ears. I keep myself to myself

because I'm quite particular with like what I'm eating and like what I'm drinking and where I am and my warm up and I like being there a little bit earlier and just like being at the venue or whatever it is so I can like relax a little bit and start prepping. It almost is like this, it's like badass persona just comes about me. If anyone,

because people, the thing with high rocks as well when you go into that little funnel, the adrenaline is so wild. Like it's, oh, I can't wait for you to experience that. And the countdown of like the 10 seconds, it's really intense.

There's always quite a few people who try to talk to me. I will ignore them. As in I just won't even, and it's not being rude. It's just I am ready to race. I'm ready to go. And then when I'm racing, I feel so just like powerful and strong because I've kind of had that attitude beforehand.

Yeah, I go quiet is the best way to describe it. I'm just very, I'm thinking about the race. I think about what I'm going to do. It is almost like a different persona that comes across. And what I'm trying to do is really to stay focused and aware. Like you said, with food and high. hydration and warming up, I don't want any distractions. Like, I am looking at the clock.

I am counting down from race day. I am, everything is accountable. Everything is accounted for. Don't distract me from any part of this process. And it's not to be rude. I'm not trying to be mean or angry. It's just pure focus. I do the same thing, though, come race day.

Yeah, I'm the same. sometimes I find it difficult because I like with like the high rock space and I work online a lot of people like want to chat to me and things like that and get pictures after my race 100% I'm here for it if someone tries to do it for my race and like I'm so I'm so I'm so sorry I'm just I'm just in it and it and it's it's at all not to me like I love love talking to people and chatting to people but just wait until after I've raced because if you're speaking to me I'm probably just not like taking taking it all in. So that's a little bit hard with high rocks because it's so busy and it's so amazing and it's

wonderful. It's just wait till I've crossed that line at the end. The regular persona comes back post-finish. Yeah. This is something I wanted to talk about because when we did our first podcast on LA, right before the Speed Project, this caught me by a complete surprise when I asked you about what you thought about when I reached out and asked for you to join our team for the Speed Project.

And at first, you were contemplating not doing it because of this imposter syndrome and lack of confidence you had. And I just could not believe that. I was so taken aback by that because this might lean back into courage. But from an outsider's view, you, you're very confident. You're very strong. You know what you can do. And when I heard that you

had this imposter syndrome and lack of confidence when you were asked to join the Speed Project team, I was very confused. And I'm wondering, is your courage just that strong that even when you lack confidence, even when you have that imposter syndrome, even when you're scared and you're fearful, you still do it because you know the outcome that will come out of. of that experience. Talk about that imposter syndrome a little bit more. Yeah, the, do you know what? When I, I'd never really spoken about imposter syndrome before a lot. Like I, I touched in it in a few of my videos. And then we spoke about it on the podcast and actually speaking about it really helped me because I've never really spoken about it to people. And I was almost

worried what people would think because it's almost just thinking, yeah, like, you're not good enough, you're not deserving, you shouldn't be. For me, like the imposter syndrome thing is, I'm not deserving of where I am right now in my life. And that was like a really big thing that I felt around the speed project. I could not fathom for the life of me why you had picked me or asked me to do it. But then when, we actually openly spoke about it, I felt a little bit better from even just getting off my chest in a way. Like I've not, I've not spoke about it to anyone. It's something that I've kind of kept internally. And from that, because I listened back to our podcast and I thought, I don't feel like

that's me. I don't, I do feel like I'm this confident person. And I do think I have a silly amount of courage that does mask it a lot of the time. And this, this idea of sometimes I just grit my teeth and I smile and I do it anyway, regardless of how I'm feeling or, like, I've been trying to look about it quite a lot. I am quite an insecure person and it's really weird and I can't really describe it to people of why I feel the way that I do. I don't know if it's because I want to be like a role model for young girls. So is there this level of pressure that I put on myself to like always be that role model and always be this like shining lights people. So when I say I actually have real moments of being like really insecure, it makes me feel weak. And I don't like feeling weak. And it's a,

I'm not a weak person. But example, over the past two months, my life has changed like a 360. I thought my life was set up. I thought I was done. I thought life was sorted. I had the fair. fairy tale and something happened that has never made me feel so insecure in my whole entire life and the confidence just fell out of my body for like the past couple of months and it really, really shocked me because I was like, oh, I don't know how to deal with these feelings. And it's almost like since the speed project, I really worked to myself and being confident and being really secure and being deserving. I was like, no, the speed project was great. like London Marathon was great. I've done all these amazing things. And then, yeah, this,

this hurdle is thrown in the mix. And I kind of felt like I went a million steps back, back to square one of God, like, you should be insecure because this has happened or you're not deserving. And now life's going to be, I don't know what life is going to be anymore. And it was all these emotions. And then I've come out to Texas. and I truly, Texas is a great place, like Austin is a great place, but it's not even just that. The people that I've surround myself with, the happiness that I have felt within me, the amount of, I've had to really dive deep, I've had some real moment, I've done a lot of solo travel over the past 12 months, it's been important for me to just be in my own head.

I have looked back and thought the evidence against me for having imposter syndrome is wild. Like I don't need to think that way. I do not need to be that person. I don't need to be insecure. I don't need to have low levels of confidence because I've done so many things that go against that. So it's almost, I'm still working on it, as you can tell, that bat down how I actually feel. So there's a really gorgeous quote that I actually wrote down. it's a Marcus Aurelius quote.

And it really hit home because you know sometimes you read a quote and it just comes at the perfect time in your life and then you can't stop thinking about it. And it's the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. And I read that maybe six weeks ago now. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. I'm in control of the quality of those thoughts. I am in control of my levels of confidence.

People can make you feel insecure. people can make me feel insecure, but that I'm not making myself feel insecure. And I've really dove into those feelings of the evidence is against me of having imposternernery. So you actually don't think you've got it. And it's almost just trying to get myself out of that mindset of, I am a confident person. I'm not insecure. I am so happy. But then, yeah, all this evidence stacking against me that I am so allowed to feel like proud of myself of where I'm at. I'm, I don't think it's egotistical to feel that way. I'm allowed to be so secure in how I feel who I am as a person.

So it's definitely a journey of like coming through that. I think a lot of people are searching for happiness. And a lot of people don't know how to find it. And I think it's something that. they need to add to their life or something they can identify with. I'm curious through this kind of journey, you've been able to identify what has helped promote some of these feelings of happiness. And I guess where I'm coming at from this one, I think a lot of people try to outsource

their happiness to someone else or something else or even groups of people. and they want them to help them feel happier. But the reality is that you can't outsource your happiness. You need to shift the perspective to experience and achieve happiness. I think that's importance of solitude. That's the importance of these morning runs where you're by yourself and your own thoughts. That's why this solo travel that you've been doing has probably been so, beneficial while everyone else is running away from their own internal thoughts because your own

internal thoughts can be a very scary place if you're not organizing them or you know how to manage and handle it. Yeah. So in an effort of running away or avoiding our own internal thoughts, people go to external sources. Help me feel happy or help me feel better as opposed to I need to make myself feel better. I think I've really set myself. And it's, the solo travel, like I did New York on my own. I'd never been to New York before and I just went for a week. I would go to dinner by myself in these really busy restaurants and I just sit there because it was really uncomfortable for me. And when I say I had a lot of thoughts, my brain didn't switch off for a full week. It's still busy. I'm just getting better understanding like the quality of the thoughts and what I'm actually allowing to come into my brain and sit. with the solo travel and coming out here and even though I go out and I meet people and I'm a very people person I gel with everyone there is still much alone time and what I've done for myself over like the past couple of of weeks is just set myself some new goals and I think some people

think oh it's not new year yeah I can't set new no no no I need to come I've re I sat there the other the day in the kitchen, I just redid all my goals for like the end of the year and things that I want to achieve at the start of the year. I'm not just waiting until the 1st of January to do that. I've got some things that I need to adjust and change now. And what I noticed what I was doing as a lot of, yeah, these crazy astronomical, extrinsic goals, I was setting myself a lot of, well, you've obviously got intrinsic and extrinsic goals. I was set myself a lot of like internal goals for me as a person. So like building a really good level of security within myself and how I feel about like my body and what I'm doing. And that was a really big goal for me just to hit a level

of security that I feel is going to push me forward and then to ignite some of my other passions. And they're all things that I'm not really going to share with other people. They're not the ones like, oh, the times, the high rocks, the this, or that. They're things that I have to work on just for me. So I just wrote them all down and there was just this pattern of I don't need to tell anyone about these. These are actually ones that are just for me.

These are to build my confidence back up to make me feel secure and safe as a person that I think everyone should have. Like I think you definitely have your performance goals, have your endurance goals, have things that you share with the world and things like that. But then the reason that I think I'm doing a lot of things now

is because this level of happiness that I'm suddenly feeling like in my heart. I'm like, well, that's a good feeling. I want that to stick around. So what else can I do

and what can I pursue for me that is going to allow me to do that? So it's just, yeah, it's just playing with these goals that I've had, but I was like, I can't wait until January 1st to do this. I need to reassess right now

at this pivotal point in my life. I think goals are absolutely essential. For sure. For happiness. I think a lot of, a lot of people look at goals in the wrong way. Where it's, well, what do I want to accomplish in this next year so I can say that I've accomplished some things?

But goals are the vision that guide the trajectory of our life. So I wrote a few things down, all around goals. I just wrote this, an individual's ability to commit to a goal and pursue it with full passion and grit, regardless of the obstacles they encounter, is a testament to their character and likelihood of success. And then to quote Ray Dalio, the satisfaction of success doesn't come from achieving your goals, but from struggling well. Whoa.

I love that one. That's really powerful because they are a struggle. Your goals are for sure difficult things because I think you should have, I have like categories of goals like business personal, live health fitness. And some of them, you don't think you can do it. I mean, some of them I haven't. There's not every single goal that I've set myself that I've achieved. And yeah, it's that I enjoy the process of going through a goal and whatever I've set myself.

But that hits home because they are a struggle. They should be a struggle. Well, yeah, they should be a struggle. I think you need to set them at a level. Like, some people will set like a really easy goal to say they've hit a goal. And I'm like, that's cool. Like, fair enough. I set mine the rules.

Some are just on the cusp that I think, unsure, that's going to be really difficult. That's what this 230 marathon is for me. Yeah, I think you'll be great. I think you'll do it. That is a bold goal. And I want to struggle in the process. And I know it's going to be so challenging.

And if and when I achieve it, I mean, it's going to be absolutely amazing. But the process and the journey to get there that's where the satisfaction comes from. Yeah. It's not just crossing the finish line. It's the whole journey. Yeah.

That's the point. I think I get excited about the level of passion that I have behind goals. Like that I get, oh, that's going to be so excited to watch you do that. And I think you have to definitely have a level of passion behind these goals. I think you have to have passion in life. in general behind behind things that you do because it comes across

in your character and who you are as a person I can't wait to do a sub three and I know when I do that it would be like oh, 250 marathon because that thing we said before

it's not unreal it's not unbelievable you have to have the belief in yourself that you can do it and I truly believe for the first time probably in my life I can

and what so what was that quote you said before with the doubt. I love that. Doubt. Is it dangerous when you start doubting yourself? Yeah. I have had some real doubts of myself over the past couple for months, like really dark, deep places that I've been.

But, like, being out here, going into my new life, turning 28, I'm not going to have the doubts. I'm just, I'm going to truly believe that I can do these goals and I'm passionate about them. It doesn't really matter of other people. don't believe in me or they're not as passionate about it. I think that's actually important to know is some other people will not give a fuck about your goals and they just won't be interested and you can't be offended by that.

I used to get quite offended when I used to share a goal and I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. And people are like, I'm really offended. Like I think it's the best goal. But it's nothing, it doesn't ignite something in them. It's not what they're passionate about. They can be happy for you on a level. but that's where you have to be happy with your goal.

You have to want to achieve it. That's where the intrinsic thing comes in because there might not be that external applause and everything like that that you dream for and want when you've hit that goal. So you have to know deep in your heart that it's for you and it's not for the satisfaction of other people.

I get asked like, oh, do you do these races? For like Instagram, I'm like, I couldn't give a fine fuck about that. I am doing it because I want to see what I can do. It likes something inside of me, which is why I am so thankful that I did find running when I did because I don't know who I'd be as a person right now without running. I'm the same way.

I can't imagine. I used to have an arm day in the gym. I used to go and do biceps and triceps and traps maybe. If I was still training like that, I just think my life would be in a completely different trajectory. I enjoy the hybrid lifestyle. I've embodied it. It's how I describe myself.

I can't even imagine not running now or being that person. It set me up with some of the best goals that I have ever done for myself and allowed the ability to have those intrinsic goals just for me and just being proud of that because of like the passion that I've got behind it. Passion is a very, it's an amazing word. It's an amazing thing. I don't think I don't talk about passion enough. After like this conversation right now, I'm like, what separates people who are just fulfilled with life and who are chasing down these dreams and just you look at them and they're on fire? It's passion. 100%. I'm thinking about people in my life right now who aren't passionate about something. and it's like they're almost just dead. It's like what lights you up?

And I think back to, there's certain things in my life that I'm super passionate about. And if I can just paint a picture, it's like when I line up for a marathon, because the marathon is my favorite thing to train for. I love it. I love it. I love racing it. When I sign up and commit an endure a process, and comes race day and I'm getting ready for that gun to go off.

There are just endorphins on every part of my body that are just firing. And I can't explain the feeling, but it's just this feeling of you are on fire. You are lit up. That is passion. And I feel so bad for people who don't experience that around some part of their life, whether it's fitness or business or family. if you don't have this passionate feeling around something, you're dead inside. So if you want to find happiness, if you want to be lit up, I think the first thing you need to do is find what you're passionate about and then set goals around those passions.

As well, life is short and life is precious. and I think of you, because people sometimes think, or I'm running out of time or I've not done this, I've not done that. I know, I know, I know I'm 28, but when I say my life was sorted, my life was a done deal,

crisscross signed, had the fairy tale, gone, sorted. Okay, strip that, we've gone back to square one, and it almost scares me because I'm like, whoa, time is something that I've been thinking about a lot because I have to redo all that. Like it's hard for me to process. And I was thinking about it a lot because I enjoy, think, not enjoy things.

I completely phrased that wrong. You at some point are going to die one day. Hopefully later rather than sooner. Hopefully way later. I'm planning on being like over 100. But it's understanding that life is fleeting. It's passing us. by and you have to right now who's ever listening to this go out and find a passion go out and

find something that is just doesn't doesn't need to matter to anyone else it just needs to matter to you like I'm passionate about doing things like this like I love podcasting I love working on business I love training they're things that I'm really I'm really passionate about my friends and family like they're a priority for me so getting to spend time with them and doing things for them I'm really passionate about that and it lights it lights a firing side of me. So you can have passion on many different levels, but I do think like, and it's really difficult if you're in a relationship that's not making you happy or if you're in a job that's, you know, it's not really ticking a lot. And I'm not one of those people who's like, just quit and do some,

okay, we also need to be realistic. It's very difficult. But maybe start the process of looking at other jobs or have a little look at what you're interested in, speak to someone about your relationship and it's taking that plunge again, the courage and curiosity, to understand that time is really valuable and you should live every single day to the fullest. It's only something that I'm just coming to terms with over the past couple of months. And yeah, just go out and find what you're passionate about as a person and what makes you tick. Yeah, you posted this quote the other day that I loved.

It's wrong. I post many quotes. One day you'll wake up and there won't be any time, any more time to do the things you've always wanted to do. One day you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted to do. Yeah. That's an inspiring but also scary thought. I will give credit to Tony. because he showed me that quote.

And it's that thing of when someone tells you a quote and it just happens to come at the perfect time in your life and that's the reason I did share it because the key word in that you'll wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you want to do. And it's having the awareness that time is limited. Life is temporary. And you just have to put your...

yourself out there now because if you keep delaying it, that is the time passing you by. And it is, it's so scary. And it's not to be morbid, but it's also to recognize and realize your own mortality in a way. Like we're one in a million to have even been alive and put on the planet. And that's a really scary thoughts to me. Like we are like one in a billion who just so happened to be alive. and I'm just, my headspace is I don't want to waste a day. Like, I've only been here for a week and I feel like I've been here for six months because I've woken up every day and I'm like,

okay, what are my intentions for the day? How am I going to live life to the full? And they, you know what? I'm not, there's been, I've cried days here and there's been, there's been's ups and downs for sure. But it's just living every single day. And it sounds like such, a cliche. But that quote really did hit hard and that's why. Yeah, I shared it. I think it was in our post. It was. Yeah. I think I shared it. But no, I give credit to Tony. I do enjoy a quote. I like reading things. I like understanding different things that people have said. And that one just hit very differently. That one hit me too. Yeah. I was recently listening to this podcast and I was talking about how we we sometimes take advantage of time and we think we have this endless amount of time.

God knows when we're going to die one day. We don't know. It could be tomorrow. It could be next year. It could be 30 years from now. We just don't know. And there's only a certain amount of times we're going to be able to do certain things before we die. And this put in perspective, They were explaining, you know, I have a little over two-year-old daughter at home and then a three-month-old son. And I love putting my daughter down to bed every night. It's this long process between like bath, bath snacks, read some books. She's getting so much personality now where she's like, she wants to talk then and she wants to have wood going to bed. I put her in her crib.

I have to tuck her in. Her 10 stuffed animals are in her crib. I have to use a different voice for to put her to bed and I have to tell her what I'm making of her for breakfast tomorrow morning. It's this whole process and it's exhausting, but I love it. I love it. There's only a select amount of more times that I'm going to do that. Not even before I die, but before she's too old for me to do that any longer. I mean, it might be a couple hundred, but still, Every time I do it, it's one less time.

And there's other things in our life that are just like that. So we have this board of this countdown for certain things. And every time we do it, it's one less. It's one less. It's one less. So that for me put things into perspective where one day we're going to wake up and we don't get to do those things again. Or we don't have the opportunity or the chance.

So we should do them right now. Yeah. And that's why it's important. I think you're quite similar. to me with, like, yeah, doing these crazy things and setting these astronomical goals because, well, we only have one fucking life. And that's a really special way to look at it. I think with your daughter is, you know, but you could have 99 more times left and then you'll do it with Nico and it's, but then Charlie will, and it's, you're going to go through all these

different stages. Like, I can't wait to do that one day and that's something I'm so excited for. And then, yeah, we're setting these goals and I don't want life just to pass me by. I want to live each day. But when I say, I've only really realized this over the past two months, I can't even explain. Like, it seems the way that I'm talking about it. I've always thought this and time is of the essence and life is fleeting. It's not. It's the past two months have been like, whoa, actually is. Like, I don't know what my life's going to look like at all now, really. I know it's, I know it's going to be 50% in Austin, 50% back home. And that's exciting for me.

And again, that's a real, the reason I've made that decision to split my time here and back home is because I know this place now makes me really happy. I've been here for seven days and I can categorically say that. I love it. That's all you need for Austin. But yeah, life is short. And this makes me so happy and I'm in control of my life and what I want to do at this current stage of where I'm at. I'm going to do that right now because in five years time,

I might not have the opportunity to do that. So it's almost just like taking that opportunity and understanding that there's going to be so much going on, but it makes me happy. And, you know, I've got the ability to do that, which I feel so lucky to be able to do, you know, go back and forth from UK and America. It's something I've always dreamed of doing, but maybe in like 10 years time, I'm going to do it now because the time is now. The time is right for me. and it makes sense and it's terrifying and it's scary, but I'm feeling the fear and I'm doing it anyway. I love it.

Yeah. There's this quote I heard a few months ago. It was change breaks the brittle. Ooh. We all experience change when we go through transitions in life. Sometimes change is much larger than we could have ever wanted or expected. But change will break the brittle and change will reinforce the strong. And we all have a choice of how we're going to react and respond to change.

We can let it break us or we can let it strengthen us. And it seems like you're letting it strengthen you right now. And you're alive and you're well. I really am. And I think what's been a little bit hard, that's the approach that I've taken. I could have completely let this eat me up 100%. And I had the choice to not let that happen. And it's been extremely hard. The thing that I've had to battle with is, you know, we work on social media. You have this kind of like perception persona.

And then I kind of have the girl behind the camera and the social media. And, you know, I'm crying every day with my sister and my friends. And they've been so supportive and absolutely incredible. But also, I want to show people that. you can go through hardships and you can still be okay and you can come out the other side of it. And it has been lovely if you've been like, oh my God, you're really glowing. Like we can see something different in you. That's lovely hearing it from strangers who don't know me.

My parents and my sister have said the same thing. And when they said that, they were like, we feel like we've got you back. Like there's something different about you. I was like, whoa, that's hit me more than anything ever could because I've been trying so hard to like just feel what I'm feeling, allow my emotions to just run wild and, you know, I felt happier so I'm going to express that and I'm going to be confident and I'm going to show that. But it's when the people who are closest to you. Like it's so nice that people are like, oh my God, I'm like, that's really nice.

when the three people who were closest to me in the whole entire world said there's something different about you and we're like so proud of you and we're so happy for you that's when I realized ah I definitely made the right choice to not just be like down and low and slumber and just carry on and it's hard to carry on when you really really don't want to and there's a lot going on but that I almost had just like I had a split decision you either go down this path or you go down this path and I chose this one and I'm liberated and it's I feel great. I'm very happy. Well, Lucy Davis, I am happy for you. Thank you. It's great to have you here in Texas. I love it. I'm going to, I'm back. I'm back on

the 17th because I'm coming to watch you kill it in Dallas. It's been fun. I'm, I can't wait. I can't wait for you to experience high rocks in all honesty because it's a proper buzz. It's different to a marathon. It's different I think than anything you will have ever experienced. and I'm very privileged that I get to come in, watch that race. When I think of a marathon, I think of very focused, intentional racing. I can't say that when I line up for a marathon, I'm about to go throw down. But I feel like that phrase around high rocks just feels right, like I'm about to go throw down. Yeah, you are.

That's what I'm excited for. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. Well, I appreciate you. It's been great to having you in town. I'm so thankful you're on the VPN team officially and thank you for just sharing everything, your insight, your strength, your power and you're always welcome to kick my ass in a high rocks workout whenever you want. I don't know.

I appreciate you and the team so much and getting to know everyone. It's just been an absolutely blessing. So thank you. Thank you.