The Nick Bare Podcast - 096: The Role of Fitness in Family and Personal Growth with Jason Khalipa

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

I welcome back Jason Khalipa to dive into a conversation on the importance of fitness as a family value and the responsibilities of being a father and leader. Khalipa shares insights into his training regimen, personal experiences with professional CrossFit, and the necessity of leading by example both in fitness and family life. We discuss managing time, the significance of exposing oneself and one’s children to intense physical exertion (RPE10), and fostering mental resilience through regular exercise. Chapters 00:10 HYROX Training and Preparation 05:37 Cardio Training Insights 12:18 The Importance of Personal Responsibility 17:31 Balancing Family and Fitness 39:30 Fitness as a Family Value 46:03 Memories of Fitness in the Family 46:48 Impact of Parental Fitness on Children 48:11 Struggles with Eating Disorders 50:45 Balancing Fitness and Family Life 52:44 Parenting and Setting Examples 59:25 Fitness as a Responsibility 01:04:55 Training and Time Management 01:13:32 The Importance of RPE10 01:26:01 When Iron Sharpens Iron Strength, endurance, and wellness supplements to fuel your performance. Save 10% at BPN Supps: https://bit.ly/nickbare10audio Follow for more: IG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@nickbarefitness Keep up with Jason: IG: instagram.com/jasonkhalipa/ YT: https://www.youtube.com/@JasonKhalipa

Fitness and being able to perform is not just time spent in the gym, but it's applicable for all things life in longevity. It amplifies the joy and fulfillment that we can experience because you can actually perform. I think it's a huge pitfall for so many families, especially in America growing up, is if the parents can't perform, the kids don't know what that looks or feels like. I think being capable is a requirement. And when you make that decision to have children, I think it's really important to all. also recognize that that's a responsibility that you just took on to stay as fit and as capable as possible for the rest of your life. Like you signed up for that. I want to be able to go swim with my daughter. I want to be able to go on walks with her. I want to be able to go play all the

sports with my son. That's really important to me. I want to be able to provide those experiences. But as I get older and I age, I also don't want to be a liability. I want to be an asset for my family, right? I don't want to be looked at as like, oh, yeah, dad can't do that. What is in my control is training hard today to build this hedge so I can be as fit as I can. for as long as I can. Welcome back to the podcast. Today we have Jason Kalipa, return guest second time.

Welcome back, brother. Thanks. Thanks for having me, man. Fired up to talk. So I want to... Are we can talk about high rocks first? We will, but I want to sit the stage. I want to curate and guide this conversation

around the topic like I discussed with you earlier. Fitness is a family value. And our responsibility, our obligations as fathers and leaders to be able to perform, be able to protect our family, our kids, our spouses. That is eventually where I want to get this conversation moving towards. At one point, we're going to get there. We'll get there. But let's talk high rocks first.

I know you're prepping for Hirox Dallas. Yeah. I mean, your prep and my prep are a little bit different, but yes, I am doing Hirox Deluxe deluxe as a team, like as a, you know, like a pair. you're going solo. You're doing doubles. I'm doing double. Yeah.

Doubles. So you and Gabe? Yeah. Okay. So I mean, yeah, I've been, you know what's been good about me committing? So we were on a, him and I were recording a podcast. We were just kind of riffing. And he's like, yeah, dude, I want to do a high rocks.

And he kind of brought it up. I was like, okay. And then he brought it up again. I was like, all right, if you want to do it, I'll do it with you. It wasn't much more thought than that. It's just one of those things where like, if an idea pops up and someone like has something that they're excited about and it might be able to push you to get a little bit uncomfortable. That's why I decided to do it.

And my running isn't where it used to be. And so it's been a nice reason for me to ramp up my running. Has that been the hardest part of prep so far? Oh, dude. I mean, well, I haven't even really prepped anything else but the running just because the running has been so difficult for me. Like, you know, when I was running, when I was competing professionally in CrossFit, I was, you know, hitting the track twice a week. I was very structured. I was really trying to get my, you know, we were.

looking at different time domains, but in general, you know, we, we spent most of our time in, like, that two to three mile range because a lot of the events were circulated around that time. Right. Obviously, we went longer, you know, like marathon length, but very rarely. But as of recently, I just hadn't been running much, man. I just, I prefer doing anything but running. And so that's why I've been doing it. What's your, your mileage at right now weekly, roughly?

My weekly mileage right now, I mean, you're going to, it's like embarrassing. probably less than, it's probably like eight miles a week. I did 10. I did 10 this morning. Okay. I was like, so the reason why, dude, is because I'm, oh, I'm, and it's, it's really bad. The other day we were doing a test of a high rocks, and I got about 45 minutes in, and I just hit a wall because I trained so much like anaerobic.

I trained so much shorter time domain that I wasn't properly fueled nutrition-wise, but I also just had not worked that like kind of slow twitch and I got smoked. And so I need to start ramping up my mileage. But really I also like, I don't know if it's my ego or what I'm excited about. I like dude. I like those 400s, 800s, repeats. Like I like the way those feel. I don't love like just running for miles.

Yeah. I love a little bit of both. I like speed. I like shorter distances. But I also love the long distance running. and I think it's going to play to my advantage and benefit going to High Rocks Dallas. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, it's a 60-ish mile or not mile.

60-minute-ish event competition. And that just requires a level of conditioning that I'm assuming is greater than what you are experiencing when you're competing in CrossFit because it's shorter time domains. Yeah, in general, I mean, so in CrossFit, you know, like I won an event that was a half-marathon row and the way that one went was a you rode 2K it was two events you rode 2K as fast as you could and then right into a half marathon and so we sat on those rowers for like an hour and a half or whatever it was so there was some longer events like i did a triathlon at camp penulton once that was badass you swam in the ocean biked and then you ran um you ran 10 miles but it was like

really gnarly hills so i definitely had some exposure longer but not in a while because a lot of my training now is based on like what we're about to talk about and you know protecting and providing for my family and thinking about what I need to do as a capable as a capable man what do I need to do and oftentimes that doesn't involve but it could involve going out to these longer time domains I have not exposed myself well enough to that you spend a lot of time on the biker though right yeah so I like the biker I do that every morning just like 20 30 minutes just to like that's just like a I'm sure just like you, man, there's just some stuff you do that just like, it's like, just part of your day.

It's like you wake up, get on the biker for 20, 30 minutes, level set, you know, and then, and then move on. That's not even a part of like your training protocol. That's just something I'm doing. Yeah, that's, that's one piece of equipment that I've started introducing this high rocks prep. That's amazing. That I never used before. Really?

Like, two pieces of equipment that I recently introduced, Bikerg and the ski erg, right? Ski erg, it's been a few months now, but more. recently, the Echo. Echo bike. I didn't really use any of the concept two stuff for the ERGs prior to this high rocks prep. Because I really didn't have a reason to fit it into my training because a lot of my cardiovascular conditioning was done running. Right.

But what I love about using the rower, the ski concept two bike, echo is you can get a really good aerobic and anaerobic cardiovascular workout without overtaxing the muscular system. Yep. Because some of your weight, someone asked me a while ago like, hey, what's the hardest form of cardio? And when you really think about it, and I'm curious what you think, I think hill sprints, I think running is the hardest because you have all of your body weight on you. Like everything else, some way, shape, or form, some of that weight is being taken off. Like, they're different, right?

So I'll give you an example. Well, what do you think is the hardest form of cardio? Running. Okay. And I think running is where people experience the most amount of injuries related to fitness as well. It's overuse injuries. Yeah. A lot of people start, like, ramping up volume and intensity way too fast.

Knees, elbows, ankles, hips. You're just exposed to so much overuse and so much pounding as you move. Well, so let me. I want to get back to something I want to bring up. But while we're on the subject, do you have a very structured warm-up you do before your runs? Because I have something that I do that I almost feel like is mandatory for me. Do you have something like that or no?

Or do you just start running? No, it's very light what I do. So I will take a lacrosse ball that I keep in the freezer out in the morning, put it on the ground, roll my bottom of my feet out. I stretch out my calves. I will roll out my ankles. I'll do some stuff from my back, just stretching my back out. And that's pretty much it.

It's very light. And then I just slowly start running. Do you use the lacrosse ball in the freezer because your feet start to cramp? Is that why? No, it just feels good. I feel like it activates the bottom of my feet. Yeah. And when I'm running, I want to think of spreading my toes and like grabbing the ground

as opposed to having a dead foot. and it feels like when I roll them out in the morning, it activates those muscles so I can grab the ground. Okay, I haven't heard. Like most of the time when I foam roll my feet or a lacrosse ball, I also have flat feet. But when I do it, it's because certain movements when I was competing cross foot would make my feet

cramp for some reason. Regal of how much hydration I had, whatever. But if I lacrosse balled them, my feet wouldn't cramp anymore. So that's what helped me. But what I need to do, dude, I have like, I got to get my hamstrings warmed up.

I got to do leg swings. Otherwise, I just can't run well. I don't know if you feel that same way sometimes. I'll do leg swings. I'll do a larger warmup if it's a higher intensity run. If I'm doing a tempo run or a track workout, the length of my length and duration of my warmup is much greater than say I'm just going to run easy eight to ten miles in the morning.

Okay. So, you know, when it comes to the cardio stuff, it's interesting because I feel like the C2 erg, like the bike, the um is really good for like you see you have both you have the echo bike and you have the C2 bike what i feel like on the C2 bike is that it's more of like a leg stamina thing i don't get a big stimulus in my lungs i get more like leg burn same like like stamina like like it's a stamina issue i'm breathing fine i just my legs are burning whereas on the echo bike or a salt bike depending on obviously how fast you're going but even if you're at a moderate pace

because of the upper and lower body, I feel like a dramatic cardiovascular stimulus. For sure. You know what I mean? And so that's where I use both of those in different ways. Like if I'm looking to develop, so like when I was competing in CrossFit, I was looking at developing leg stamina for an exercise.

Let's just say it was something where it was like heavily, I don't know, you had to do 200 squats. Well, it's more of a leg stamina issue. You could do it once. You can do it twice, but if you're doing it hundreds of times, so I would do the C2 bike to develop that. Whereas like my conditioning wise, I'd be using the air bike.

Yeah, I do the same thing. If I'm using the echo bike, it's higher intensity. And I'll measure my effort there on calories. Yeah. How fast can I get a certain amount of calories done? The way I use the C2 bike is actually within a workout as my active recovery. So if I'm doing like, like here's a workout I did last week. It was six rounds.

each round was a 3K C2 bike and then a 1K run on the assault runner so the assault runner that was my big effort then when I get on the bike that was my time

to kind of recover yeah and that was taking me like six minutes but I'll throw the damper at 10 because I want that that resistance yeah yeah and are you standing up or sitting down?

I'll sit down but if I need like some some quick turnover I'll stand up for a brief second yeah no it's really interesting I mean, from a cardiovascular tool perspective while we're on the subject, the way I use them is I use the air bike for definitely like sprint conditioning. I use a C2 bike for like leg stamina and like longer duration, like what you're talking about. I use the ski erg for lat stamina and for like core strength. And the reason why I like it, especially for swimming. I think it translates really well for swimming. Freestyle swimming when I would burn out when I was competing would be my pull through the water. Now my swimming technique is not perfect. It's obviously it's, it's not. nowhere near professional swimmers. But where I felt like I was fatiging was in my pool and in my lats.

So by using a ski erg, it helped to develop that. And it also translated over to pull-ups. For me, that's why I use a ski-erg. It was kind of like a low-impact stamina-building cardio tool. I love the ski-erg. Yeah. I like the ski-urg more than the rower, actually. I also think the ski-urg has a great transfer for grapplers and jujitsu for snapdown and for stand-up.

So for people who are listening who are into that space, I stagger my foot position to get into a snapdown position, which is different. We can show it later. Yeah. The thing I like about the skier and the rower is you can generate a lot of force. So I think a lot of people think of rowing, skiing is just moving. Now watch people, they just slowly move through the movement. Say, I'm going to do 500 meters. We can do 1K.

It's like, no, like rip 500 meters, rip 1K. and you have to find where you can generate the most force. And when you can generate force on the rower and skier, and you see those numbers. Oh, it's a beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful. It feels so good. Dude.

It'll wreck you. It'll wreck you. Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. All right. So I want to move this conversation now into the meat and potatoes. Oh, yeah.

But I think a good place to start, actually, is something you briefly mentioned before we walked into the podcast studio. Obviously, the election. was just going on. Yeah. And ended last night. And you made a comment where, as we're talking about, our responsibilities and obligations as parents, as fathers in this situation,

instead of distracting yourself and being so worried about the White House or someone else's house, be more concerned about your house. Can you kind of explain that a little bit more? Yeah, I put out a newsletter. and so I put out a weekly, a weekly newsletter. And this one, the title, I pulled it up on my phone. The title of it was the power of personal responsibility. And this was just my newsletter this morning.

It's just an excerpt. But I said the day after the election day is always filled with headlines, opinions, and plenty of noise. And while elections certainly matter. So 100% they matter, absolutely, especially this one. The truth is what matters most hasn't changed, regardless of the headlines today. what matters most is how you lead your family, show up for your community and take care of yourself. You know, so what is in your control? And then I kind of go on to say like, you know, now is it time to look, you know, ask yourself the hard questions. Are you capable? Are you physical?

So I think it's really easy, especially with the election season going on for people to get focused on things that are outside your control because it gives them a sense of like, I think this actually subconsciously, people do this a lot with many things in their life, where they, they lean on things that are outside their control and almost like focus on that. But if you really take a hard look and you start asking yourself these questions, like the White House matters. But what you're doing in your house to lead your family to show up as the husband and father that you're proud of that you look back on 10, 20, 30 years from now and said,

I reached my potential in those areas. That matters the most. Because if that's not on lock, none of this other stuff even matters, right? Like you have to take care of your home base and what's in your control. and everything else will start to permeate. Could you imagine if every man, like started training hard, started working out, started exercising, started being intentional in the way that they raise their children and they work with their spouse?

Dude, it would change the landscape of the country, right? The White House definitely matters. I'm not saying it doesn't, 100%, but we need to make sure we take care of our home base first. I was actually just thinking about this in my run this morning. in terms of leadership. Yeah. Because I was thinking about this conversation today. As parents, as fathers, that is a leadership role.

We are leading our kids. We are leading our families. And one of the responsibilities as a leader is to let our team, but our family that people know what is important, what they should be working on, what is priority. Because if we don't let people know as leaders, what is priority, what they should be focused on, what they should be learning about, what they should be reading, what they should be consuming,

they will naturally gravitate towards the easiest thing. And sometimes the easiest thing is just sitting there watching, consuming, being distracted by content that they can't actively shift or change or influence. So as leaders, it's our responsibility to let our team, let our family know, here's what we need to prioritize, here's what we need to focus on. It's not going to be the easiest thing, but it's the thing or things that actually move the needle in our lives. Yeah. I mean, something I think about on a regular basis.

And sometimes it's in the sauna. Sometimes it's at night. Sometimes it's just at some point. It's like, how am I doing? You know, how are we doing? And I think checking in on yourself, like, is really important. Having a community of like-minded men around you to check in with, I think is really important. And then obviously having good communication with your wife, I think is really important.

So, like, I think if you could do those. three things, you're off to a really good start. Like, if you're sitting there listening to the podcast and you don't have a network of men that you have any conversations with at all other than basic sports, you know, I think it's important to start creating a community of that. And I've been blessed in my life to have to have that through CrossFit and to get that through Jiu-Jitsu and now get that through our weekly men's club workout that we do in a parking lot where you could start having conversations other guys and learning from them and

leveling up. And I think that we've missed that as a society as as as things have evolved over the years. I also think we're missing out on, you know, spending a, you know, really dedicated time with our spouse and having good conversations. I think that's really important. And then finally, I think it's just these daily check-ins. It's like, because you know when you're not doing a great job. You know, you have a general idea.

I think if you messed up and apologizing the children, apologizing your wife and level setting, I think is really important. But if you don't have that self-perspective, it's tough. I'm not perfect. I made a ton of mistakes, but I try and reflect on it so I could try and get better the next day. So I'm curious how you set the conditions to have these conversations with your wife and other men, because I think the issue is people assume, men assume that just by being in the environment, in the room, those conversations are going to naturally happen.

But I believe you have to intentionally facilitate those. conversations to achieve a certain outcome. Yeah, I agree with you. So I think it's like developing your team at work. I think creating a baseline, creating, like, just knowing that you and your wife are on the same page, like you're trying to achieve the same thing. You want success for your family. You want success for each other. Like you should be each other's like kind of like, for example, I think the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life is meeting my wife at 15. because when we met at 15, I've had a champion with me the entire time through highs and lows and ups and downs. And but that, you know, knowing that I think is really important that, hey,

we're on the same team. We're trying to accomplish the same thing. And we're championing each other. But when it comes to the men, what I think has been really powerful for me seeing. So every week for about maybe 65 weeks. So well over a year now, we've had 30 to 50 guys show up in a parking lot, do burpees and whatever, and then go get coffee after. And I'd say at this point about 50% of them

go get coffee after. And that's where I think the real good conversations happen is because you sweat shoulder to shoulder, you're pushing each other, you're breaking down these barriers, and then afterwards there's opportunity when the kind of the guards are down to start fostering a deeper understanding.

And because these people, you only maybe see them once a week, you start creating a relationship that starts getting more than just surface level, but it's not like your brother or sister. So like you could have conversations that are just different because you're all guys, you all just trained hard. And now you just are having conversations about real life shit that's going on. And so that's been really impactful for me and my life is that weekly knowing that, hey, there's going to be a hard training.

And then let's just see where the conversations go. And sometimes there's nothing to talk about. And sometimes there's stuff to talk about. Sometimes someone else is talking about something else. But it's like, I think as men, we need to iron, that theory of like iron sharpens iron. I think that at times it's hard because online, it's hard to have constructive conflict online because everybody takes things out of context. But when you're in person, you just sweat with each other.

You might start having a conversation and give feedback that maybe that person doesn't want to hear, but they know that it's coming from a place of care and love, but it can only be done in person. And so that's what I've been leaning on is that. And then obviously with my wife, recognizing we're both on the same team, on the same page, and we're in this for life. And we need to treat each other with respect knowing that. I was listening to this podcast.

It was actually a Mel Robbins podcast a few weeks ago. And her and her husband had a conversation about things that they've learned over 30 years of marriage that has kept them together. some really great things, some really hard things they experienced. And one of the things they talked about was being in the same boat. And far too often that people in relationships, especially the longer you're in that relationship, at some point you get in different boats. I mean, you start in the same boat.

Hey, we're in this together. We're row in the same direction. Then at some point, you get out of the boat and you get in your own boats and you start rowing in different directions. and it has to be, hey, let's get back in this boat together and go to the same place as a team. Because even as Steph and I have been together for seven years now and our relationship when we first met and got married

is definitely different and has evolved after we had kids. Oh, for sure. It's become much more challenging to be in that boat together. And I think like the season and chapter that I'm in right now, I know that a lot of the people that follow me are also in that same season and chapter where could be newer dads, people who just got married who are thinking about starting a family or the family's growing. But that season and chapter of life brings on so many different challenges than life as a single

guy and then life as a newly married couple. This is a challenging chapter for us right now. This is a lot of distractions and a lot of priorities that can be conflicting. Like imagine like for you, right? You have two children. They're both young. My children are 13 and 10. It's a little bit different.

My wife and I have been together 25 years, right? And we've been married for 15. And you talk about the boats. I was talking to Nick Fratis. Do you know who Nick Fratis is? I don't know. Dude, he's awesome. You should check up.

I should introduce you guys. But anyways, I was talking about a podcast and he's like, dude, my wife and I, like, we burn the boats. Like when we made our commitment to each other, like our understanding was like, we're burning the boats. There's no going back. Like, we're in this together. And if that's the mentality, right, and that's the mentality that I have, and that's the mentality you have, like, do you work, work, it's done. Well, then, you know, what you need to do is, I think focus on how those boats, I mean, you already burned them. There are no more boats. But how do you do it where you don't create this wedge?

Because like a small wedge today, for example, for you, like it's such a priority to, you know, obviously you're spending so much time on your new family. It requires so much time and attention that it's easy to kind of allow the relationship with your wife start to start to be on the back seat, right? And I'm speaking from experience on this. I'm not saying this is in your case. But because this initial priority is like so strong. You have to take care of the baby.

You have to do these things. But then sometimes this wedge starts to build just a little bit. And then if you don't correct it, I think that's where it starts to really start to bridge out. And so my recommendation for anybody listening, I talked about this a little bit on the last time we were on the podcast is to have a structured date night with your significant other and start doing that before there becomes any problems. Because then what you're doing, it's like at work, right? Let's just say a BPN or whatever. When we have employees, if we're doing weekly, if I'm doing a weekly check-in with them and I'm reaffirming the mission, the vision, where we're going, over time every week,

I'm just making sure I'm staying in tune with how they're feeling, how I'm feeling. And hopefully, if something small comes up, we're able to nip it in the butt and it never become something bigger. But if you don't create that opportunity where you have that weekly check-in, I think that's how it starts to divide. So I would say that's the most tangible item I think people could do is start having a date night and make it regular. Yeah, ours is every Thursday. There you go.

We have, in the time of this recording, it's Wednesday, so our day night's tomorrow. And I always get super excited about date night because I'm a big foodie. And I love a good meal, love a good environment, especially spending time with Steph. This is a side tangent real quick. but I was searching, and I love steak. I love meat. I was searching top 100 steakhouses in the world two weeks ago. How many of them are in Texas?

There's a few actually, but there's one in Austin. Okay, there we go. Jeffrey's Steakhouse in Austin was on that list. So I made a reservation right away. That's where we're going tomorrow night. I can't wait because I love a good steak. And if it's top 100 in the world, I mean, I eventually wanted to visit every one of those hundred steakhouses.

Yeah. But there's a few in Texas for going to tomorrow night. Oh, man. I love a good steak, too, man. Love the last night I was with Tim Kennedy. He cooked up some damn good steaks. It's like, oh, I love it. I love it.

You know, he's talking about elk. I haven't, I haven't had like a really good elk experience before, but have you had like a nice elk steak? Oh, yeah. I love, I love it. It's leaner, too. That's my next thing. Yeah, it's leaner, which I enjoy. So when you were younger and, you know, you know,

you and your wife were earlier on in marriage, did you experience that wedge that you're talking about? And if so, what was that wedge and how did you self-correct? Yeah, I think the wedge was created. I think the wedge, so her and I are very, very, very, very fortunate that we met at our early age, we kind of grew together, right? We met as freshmen in high school and we kind of grew together and didn't grow apart. So I'm very fortunate there. But I think it takes. It takes a It takes work. It takes communication. It takes a lot of things. It's like when I started, so in, I graduated from college and opened a gym the same month. I also won the CrossFit games that same month. So I knew coming out of college, I was going to open up a business. And so I opened up a business. I, I graduated from college and we then won the CrossFit games. And so at that point, it kind of stirred this whole thing. where we didn't have kids. I was like in the gym all day, every day. It was all good because she had her thing. I had my thing. All was good, right? But then we had kids. We had a kid at the time.

And at that point, our business was really growing. So we opened up maybe 20, 30 locations across Asia with Western Digital as corporate accounts. So I was doing that. And then I was competing in CrossFit still doing that. And then I had a new family. And that is, I'd say, where the wedge was starting to kind of create where I was getting pulled in a variety of different directions and it was hard for me to prioritize what really needed to be prioritized, which was that relationship, right? Because if that relationship's on point, everything else can fall into place from there. But I was so distracted by the immediate attention takers that were right in front of me,

traveling to Asia once a month, opening locations, doing these different things. And so what happened for me was just like I had like when it was all-ha, moments where I felt like I wasn't being, you know, reaching my potential as a husband, as a father. And I had to start embodying the Amrat mentality where just being more present and focused with her when I was with her and not thinking about all these other things, like really being present. And that was where I think there was a turning point where instead of the wedge being created, the time I was spending was very engaged and very structured. And we were able to kind of be good.

And then when my daughter got sick, that was an opportunity to just like, like clear the deck and like really, really come together and focus. And that that mentality has stuck with us since 2016 when she was diagnosed leukemia. So that's the same thing. What did you stop doing during that time? Because I'm assuming there are all these distractions in your life. You're working on all these different things. And in order to like really hyper focus on something, that being the relationship, my first thought is, okay, there's certain things I have to say no to and turn off. Did you have to turn things off? Oh, yeah. I mean, when you mean when she got sick? First, when you decided that, you were refocused on the relationship and then when

your daughter had sick. I think where the wedge was being created was that when I was spending time, I wasn't present and focused. So I didn't necessarily need to turn anything off other than my brain when I was when we were together. Does it, you know what I mean? Like, so at that point, I just wasn't structuring my day well enough where I was, you know, having dinner with her and my daughter, but thinking about walking on my hands of the CrossFit games or thinking about the, you know, conference call I had later on that night with Asia. And what I needed to do a better job of is that when I was there and I appropriately managed my time so I could spend more time, but then also being present in that time. And I think that that's something that fitness can really

teach us is that if you're not working out in your guilelessness right now, like, tomorrow. Like the single greatest variable I think people can add into their life to fix literally everything else is fitness. Like because it just creates this like ecosystem where you show up better mentally. You show up better physically. You feel more self-confident. There's so many things that transfer from that. So I try to take the mentality that I took to my workouts, which was being very present, very focused. I tried to embody that with my family. And I ended up calling it the Amrat mentality. I was going for as a bit. I was going for as a bit of many reps as I could, being present on my wife, being present on my daughter at the time.

I mean, a lot of people, a lot of men and a lot of boys find fitness when they're younger. Yeah. And you find the gym, you start eating healthier, you prioritize protein, you start building some muscle, you get into supplements, you build this confidence. You'll see a lot of high schoolers, college students going to the gym on a regular basis. But then as they start getting older, and I've seen it with the cohort of people that I grew up with in graduate college, life gets busier. You have more distractions. You have a full-time job.

You get married. You have kids. And it seems like fitness is one of the first things to go out of the window. It's never football games on the weekends or it's never the barbecue parties. It's never the easy things they get rid of. it's the hard things they get rid of and fitness seems to always be that one. And I was in this gym a few weeks ago.

I was just telling the guys here this yesterday. I've had this conversation a million times with a bunch of different people where you start talking and they tell you about when they were in high school or they were college and the sports they played and the miles they ran, the weights they lifted. And then they go, yeah, but like,

I just don't have time for that. anymore. Oh, yeah, always. And I look at it, I'm like, I got time. They're like, well, you work out five hours a day. No, I don't. I wake up at 4.30 a.m. I go run my miles, and then after work, I lift my weights. Two hours a day, which is a lot for some people. You don't need two hours. No. But if it matters you, you will make time. But it seems like the first thing that people just forget about, especially guys and men, which is a responsibility and obligation, is the ability to perform in our fitness. I don't know how we got here.

I do know how we got here. I do, actually. That's a better way of putting it. I know how we got here. The way we got here is that as a society, we have been working for endless years to make things easier. And you could go on a whole tangent here between air conditioning, like, you know, not exposing the hot and cold.

I'm just talking about literally going from more of a manual type labor component to then identifying ways to make it easier, which is, dude, look, that's all good. It's just we have to recognize as a society, we have became more sedentary, right? We have identified jobs that are more like what, like, I mean, you and I are having a conversation right now. We're sitting down. Yeah, we're going to go train and get after it, but we have to be intentional on that. We don't have, our careers are, and maybe we're not the best example of this, but like most people's careers are not very active anymore. I'd say many people's careers.

Maybe not, obviously not everybody. But as a society, especially as men, what we used to do for work or maybe in school or action, you know, activity has now gone, has gone away. I mean, imagine if you're in the tech industry and you have to be intentional with exposing yourself to fitness because it's not just going to naturally happen to you as part of your job anymore. You know, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, and so we have made things easier by design, but then also by design, we need to recognize that and see where the pitfalls there. And the pitfalls are, we're not exposing ourselves or our youth to hard things as much anymore. And I think that's going to be

detrimental long term. I do. I think that I, there is, I, I never feel better. Dude, two days ago, I go to Jiu-Jitsu, Sunday Open Matt. I just, crush it. I do a bunch of stuff and I come home and I feel great. And I know every guy listening to this. They know that feeling where you feel accomplished. Do you feel like you, you set aside a short period time for yourself to then be able to show up the best you can for the rest that day? And I think that if men just realized how easy it is and stop putting on such a pedestal, that's the first step. Well, as my kids are getting older, that's the exposure I want to create for them. Right now, we're, you know, we moved back to Texas in May.

Yep. And we're renting a house right now because we're building our house we're moving into next month, actually, almost done. That's awesome. So excited. Yeah. But the house we're building is in a neighborhood. And it's great. It's a beautiful neighborhood.

But I want my kids to grow up. running around, playing with dirt, going into the woods. So before we started recording, I was telling you about this ranch that I'm planning on building out. And as much as that ranch is a property to use for BPN and events and hosting athletes, and honestly a big passion project to myself, it's to provide that experience for my kids. I want them to spend the weekends there, bonfires late at night, building fences, taking care of animals,

running around, being active. I want them to learn that fitness and being able to perform is not just time spent in the gym or on a treadmill, but it's applicable for all things life in longevity. It amplifies the joy and fulfillment that we can experience because you can actually perform. I think it's a huge pitfall for so many families, especially in America growing up, is if the parents can't perform, the kids don't know what that looks or feels like. Never will. I think being capable is a requirement. You know, like as a husband, I signed up for something. And what I signed up for was a commitment to my wife forever, where I will be her greatest,

you know, champion. I will do everything I can to protect and provide for her. It's very important to me that commitment I made when we got married. And if you're not prepared to make that commitment, then just don't get married. Don't, don't like, that's like, but if you want to make that commitment, then take it seriously. That's the way I looked at it, at least for me. And when my wife and I decided to have children, I kind of took that same mentality. Like, it's my responsibility now. Like, we chose to do this.

This wasn't, this didn't have to happen. We chose, right? And when you make that decision to have children, I think it's really, important to also recognize that that's a responsibility that you just took on to stay as fit and as capable as capable as possible for the rest of your life. Like you signed up for that. Yeah. You know? And I think you're not only signing up for it now today. Like as a dad today, it's important to me because I want to be able to go and do all the things. I want to be able to go swim with my daughter. I want to be able to go on walks with her. I want to be able to go play all

the sports with my son. That's really important to me. I want to be able to provide those experiences. But as I get older and I age, I also don't want to be a liability. I want to be an asset for my family, right? When I'm in my 50s, 60s, 70s, I want to be an asset. I don't want to be looked at as like, oh, yeah, dad can't do that, right? Or dad can't do that or I have to go take care of them doing this. And obviously there are certain things that are outside of my control as I get older, of course. But what is in my control is training hard today to build this hedge so I can be as fit

as I can for as long as I can. I want to ask this question, because this sets me up for where I want to take the conversation next. What do you think the difference is between, or how do you view the difference between health and fitness? Like, what do those two words mean to you? I mean, I think that they're, okay, so I just got my blood work done recently. So I'd put, I think health encapsulates, uh,

Like your overall thing for me, this is where I look at it. And I'm just answering this real quick based on what your question was. I think your fitness is your physical capability, your ability to perform tasks. I think health is a little bit more holistic of an approach. It takes into consideration your physical capabilities. But I think it also starts to take into consideration your mental state and your internal. Like so health is like an overarching thing. Like how are you doing underneath the hood? How's your blood work? What are you doing mentally to stay in the right state of mind so you show up for

everybody else around you and you can be in, you know, the optimal health mentally and physically? And then that's where fitness comes into play. I guess that's why I'd break it down for myself. That's what I view it as well. I wrote down here that health is a comprehensive state of well-being that encompasses physical, mental, emotional, and social aspects of a person's life. and fitness refers to the ability to perform physically,

endurance, stamina, strength, power, speed, agility, balance, coordination. And I asked that question because Steph and I were having a conversation two weeks ago. And I asked her the question, what do you think of this fitness is a family value thing? Like, we should make fitness a family value. And then she said, well, I think health should be a family value. And I was thinking about it. There are two different things. I think health is a non-negotiable.

We have to live and embody a healthy life. Like no questions asked. That is like foundational. Fitness though is like our responsibility to go above and beyond and be able to perform. And I want to really like guide this conversation more towards fitness as a family value as opposed to health is a family value. Not saying health is not important by any means. It is just as equally important. But there is a differentiation between fitness and health. So I ask that question now, and I'm curious, and I want to share my experience as well, how was fitness involved

in your family growing up? What did your parents teach you? What did you do when you were younger? Like how was fitness perceived or accepted in the household? You know, fitness wasn't really a conversation in our house much. You know, my dad came from Iran. He grew up with like soccer and he was an engineer. My mom, you know, she didn't, she didn't play too many sports. And I guess just growing up, like I was exposed to mainly soccer as a young kid because that's what my dad knew.

Then I found BMX bike racing because of our next door neighbor and that really changed the game for me. I became very competitive in that. And so I think I pursued my fitness because I wanted to. It wasn't necessarily a family value at the time, right? Like that was something that it was important to me

because when I found BMX, I wanted to win. And I recognized that fitness or my speed off the gate, right? Like I could be good at all the jumps, but if I didn't get the jump off the gate, I needed to increase my leg stamina because I'd burn out towards the end of the race. And so I started doing a bunch of training to get better at that.

And I think that's what stemmed the idea of fitness becoming a part of my lifestyle because I wanted to be able to perform a certain way. How was it, you know, where you were growing up, your friends, your peers, the community, was fitness a thing where you were at? Not really. You know, like, I mean, thinking back on it, yeah, like, no, it just. It wasn't, maybe it was the times. Maybe now we had to be more intentional. But I guess back then, no, it wasn't a concerted effort to encourage some type of movement, I'd say.

I think that I took the initiative, but it wasn't like a family value. We didn't, like, fitness wasn't really a part of what we were doing. You know, like, I don't, I don't have any memories of my dad. Nowadays, my dad's totally different. Like, but back in the day, I don't have any memories of him. necessarily like working out or anything like that it wasn't like it's not even something i could think of but you're probably more inclined to be outside because back then there wasn't much to do inside 100 percent so that i think that's the difference right is like you know my my parents had a pretty

big backyard um that backed up into like the giant hill and you know i didn't get a cell phone until i was uh a sophomore junior in high school so that's like and that was like one of those like old school no kia ones yeah so the internet really wasn't a thing thing until around then, right, give or take. You had the dial up AOL. So a lot of what we did was getting outside, you know, especially we had one TV in the house and like, and so for the most part, that would be taken up by whatever. And so we just got outside and did the thing. I remember, you know, it was always a rule. Like, just come home and light, street lights turn on. But that's different nowadays. It's not quite the same. Yeah, we grew up playing every night.

It was, we grew up on this dead end. So our backyard was a farm field, central Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, our driveway was part of a dead end. So we'd do street hockey in the dead end. It was like the size of a nice hockey rink, capture the flag almost every night. And we were always outside doing stuff. But growing up, like for me, fitness was a huge part of being raised. From when I was very, very little, before I can even remember, I only know this because of home videos. My mom would teach aerobics classes. So she would run out at the studio at night after work. She was a school teacher and then she would teach aerobics at night. And me and my brother would go sit in the back of the aerobics studio. She taught aerobics classes.

Big, like huge hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like spandex. Yes. I have like a vision of it right now. Like super like colorful spandex. It was wild. My mom was so into this. And my dad was in the bodybuilding. So I remember him coming home from work. Before he'd come home from work, he'd stop at the gym and he'd work out. And he'd roll into the driveway, windows down. rock music blaring. He'd get out. He'd have like his leather lifting belt in hand, his duffel bag.

With the spaghetti taintop. Stringer, stringer. Yes. He had like the mullet. Yes. My dad was so, so into it. Like a Joe Dirt type of mullet? Yes.

And he still trains. He still trains hard. Still runs all the time. He has a race coming up this weekend. My uncle was always running growing up. Oh, is he doing a half marathon this weekend? He's doing a, like, a 10-mile trail race this weekend. Yeah, Gabe's doing one locally. But, you know, it brings up a really good question. So you and I were almost talking about complete opposites in general, right?

What impact do you think that had on you? Because this is something that I've thought about a lot as like a fitness guy. And like I've had to do some like, you know, introspect. Like I've had to ask myself some questions on this about am I putting pressure on my children? How am I approaching? Obviously food is a whole different subject. But like, what? am I doing and is it is it the right path for our family when you look back on like your dad and your mom they weren't necessarily like forcing you to do anything but you could it created a culture in the house of fitness like you watch your dad come home jacked playing Metallica and you're like all right then your mom's you know I could just see it like the 80 like whatever like you know aerobics what what do you think lasting impression that had on you I got you know well they never pushed it on us right that's a thing and we were just around that culture growing up.

And I think what I took away from that experience when I was younger was self-work, self-development, commitment, discipline. Because I didn't instantaneously at a young age fall in love with fitness. When I was like 14, 15 years old, I developed a very severe eating disorder. I didn't go to the gym at all. I didn't really train. I was playing sports, but I was playing sports just recreationally to socialize with friends. It wasn't until I was probably 17, 18 years old that I walked into a gym and started training.

And I was hooked right away. So there were years in between being around this when I was younger growing up until I actually said, I'm going to pursue fitness because I want to do it at this point in my life. but there was definitely something there at a young age that inspired that passion. It wasn't forceful. And you don't think the way that that, do you think that that had anything to do with when you're like 14, 15, the eating disorder? Like the way that you had that around you or had nothing to do with it? To be honest, I don't know.

It's such a interesting chapter of my life that I never really went back and revisited. The thing that I can remember that I loved about, and it's so weird to say, I loved about my eating disorder, was that I loved being able to control something. And that was my weight and the food that I consumed. And even so now, if I go to a big fitness prep, my competitive advantage is my ability to control my diet and my food. I can dial in. I can lock in. Same thing goes to my training. Like when I know it's time to dial, it's time to lock, I am locked, I am committed. Nothing will break me. When I was 14, 15 years old, I had an eating disorder.

Same thing. I was committed to that unhealthy relationship with food. Nothing could break me. So that was more so like a control that I manipulated and used to achieve a certain outcome. I don't know if the exposure to fitness early on, maybe it did, had some sort of influence on that. Yeah. It's something I think about a lot, obviously, you know, like at our house. And I'd be curious your thought on this, too.

What if your dad had trained in the garage instead of at the gym? Do you think that would have been more positive or the same? I mean, he had some weights at the house too. And he'd pump sometimes. And he'd pump. So we were around it. It was those old sand-filled plastic weights to. Yeah, you don't see those very much.

No. But, dude, but that's what I'm talking about. It's like for me, the other day, this is so, I can't believe this happened. I mean, I do believe this happened. I'm sitting, it's nine, it was super late after one of my son's baseball games. And he really wanted Chick-fil-A. I'm like, all right, we'll go to Chick-fil-A. And so I'm taking a Chick-Fleigh, and I look at the drive-thru.

I look at going in. I was like, oh, dude, you know what? Because I always, I don't like going to the drive-thru. I feel very lazy. I was like, hey, I'm just going to go park. And he's like, dude, could we just go through the drive-thru? My son asked me. And I was like, all right, whatever.

I'm not, this is not a battle I want to pay, It's like late at night. I'm like, whatever. So I'm in the drive-thru, and I'm like, clearly getting a little bit frustrated. And he looks to me and he's like, dude, what's up? I was like, I'm just frustrated. I feel lazy right now. And he's like, dad, you don't always have to go like level 10.

Like, it's okay. And it was just a good reminder for me that like he's paying attention, right? Like, and it's good and bad, right? The good is that he knows that I'm like, I'm the guy who's taking the stairs on the guy who trains hard in the garage and tries to embody this like mindset. but there's a time and a place, you don't always have to go so crazy. It was like the reminder I had

waiting in the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A. It's interesting how, I mean, even my daughter, she's two months, or sorry, two years, like four months right now, and her personality is, it's changing overnight every night. It is wild, the sentences she is forming. Oh, yeah. It's like, last time I was putting her down to bed,

and I put her, her in her crib. I tucked her in this routine where each one of her animals has to say good night to her. And she points in my chest and she goes, boobs. I just started dying, dude. I was like, what are you talking about? Did you not have a shirt on? I didn't have a shirt on. I mean, I never have a shirt on like at the house. Yeah. But I've learned of the last go once, they're always watching. Oh yeah. They're always listening. They're always observing. Dude, you know what's, you know what the the pressure of that is, is we talk about responsibility as a husband,

as a father to train. And I think that when you, when you, when you have your fitness unlock, it starts to, just unlocks everything, in my opinion. But your kids are watching the way

you're also having conversations with your spouse, right? And one of the things I think about all the time is like, I try and be overloving to my daughter. I try and show her what I want her to one day

finding a man to treat her the way by me showing that to my wife. Because I know, that if I don't do a good job now, years from now when she's looking for a, you know, significant other, she's going to, she's going to desire what she wasn't given or what she was shown as an example. And that's a lot of pressure. But that's something that we need to remind ourselves of, you know, as men is like, do we need to embody the characteristics that one day our daughter? She's going to look at that as like, and this might not always be the case,

but like that's what I'm approaching it. Like, I want to be the example that my daughter sees the I treat my wife that one day I hope she finds a man that treats the same way. And that's, again, that's something that every guy should be reflecting on because that's a real thing that could be coming up, you know? What would you do if your daughter brought home a man who didn't train, who didn't prioritize fitness, and who didn't really believe in that part of a lifestyle? Dude. Honestly, what would you do? So I was with Tim Kennedy last night and his daughter is actually getting married. We had this exact conversation. I think that I've learned over the years, and this is a really important note.

Like, I am convicted in the fact that I believe everyone should be training. I believe that because I believe that not only to protect and provide for your family, but also because of what it does in between your ears, right? However, I also believe that we should not be forcing people to do anything and that we should not be pushing people, that we should be pulling people. We should be a beacon. We should be like this example. And when people are ready, they're going to find us.

So I guess what I would do is if my wife or if my daughter brought home a guy who didn't train. I would really reinforce with him like the standards that I think are really important, that training is the foundation. And I believe his responsibility is to protect and provide. And I don't think he could do either of those things unless he first is training. then layers on some combatives. And I think I would just have that conversation and continue just to like, try and like,

hey man, come with us to a workout. Come with us to jihitsu. Come with us here. But I'd be really careful not to push too hard because I've pushed people away that way that way and that's not the way to do it.

I'm also a fan of the pool versus push approach. That's kind of our culture here at BPN. There's a lot of people who start working here who they aspire to prioritize fitness in their life. Yeah. And people ask me the question all the time. Like to work at BPN, do you have to run marathons?

You have to lift certain amount of weight. No. Never. But you have to embody like that lifestyle. You used to be open to it. Can't be against it by any means. And when people start working here, I never push them towards, hey, you have to go sign up for this race.

You have to be in the gym at these hours. Never push that. But the culture that we've created in the environment is so warm and inviting that people naturally find it. And then before you know it, they're signed up for a race. They start running. They start losing weight. They start reaching their fitness goals. But it's the pool. It's not the push. That's the approach that I want to take with my kids and my family. Yeah, I mean, like the approach that I've taken, and again, I think that it's really important to note that when it comes to raising kids, anybody who tells you they have it all figured out

is full of shit. Like everyone is, what I do believe, though, is, what I do believe, though, is, there are quite a few people out there that are being intentional and doing the best they can. I think that's really important. Like, I have always tried to be intentional with my family and do the best I can with the information I had. And I'm going to make mistakes. And I'm going to not show up the way I want some days, but I'm going to try and do my damn best. But, you know, I think that when it comes to pulling instead of pushing, it's just, it's for our

family, what we embodied earlier on was just sweat once a day, just like do something, whatever you want to do. And that's taken shape in a variety of different ways. But that's been the best option for us is putting the responsibility on the kids that they don't feel like they're being forced anything. They could do whatever they want. They can go play. They can go do whatever.

They just need to get outside and sweat once a day. And that's been, I think, the best way to do it so far. One of my favorite things that my daughter does, I love that she's picking up on, my son's still too young. My son's three months old. Yeah, I'd say so. But like when we eat dinner at night sometimes, I'll just like touch a little steak toward his lip.

My wife's like, stop doing it. I'm like, I just want him to get a little taste. Because my daughter, if we cook a piece of meat that has a bone in it, she'll ask for the bone. So I'll give her the pork chop or I'll give her the ribby bone. And she'll eat that meat right off the bone. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is my daughter. But in the evenings when I come home from work sometimes,

she'll ask if we can go in the backyard and run. And she wants to hold my hand and we'll run just back and forth. Yeah, but imagine if you couldn't do that. Well, that's what I wanted to ask because I saw you, that sparked an idea. I saw you post this a while back. We should never be too tired or unable to do something physical with our kids. Yeah. I really believe that.

I believe that as well. Like, could you imagine, though, like a Nick Bear who runs all these miles is Super fit. Dude, there is nothing that your daughter can ask you to do physically that you will not be capable of. Nothing. Like, there's nothing that I could think of that she's going to want you to do that you can't do. And that is awesome. That confidence is incredible. And you've earned that from years and years of training hard. I feel like I have that same confidence, right? And I also think there's something amazing as your kids get older, they'll start to realize that not everybody is like you like their dad who can do all those physical things.

And I've seen little sparks of this every now and then. And it makes me feel proud. Like, like, it makes me feel proud that I have the physical capability to do whatever my kids want to go do with me. And I believe that we should never be limited by our physical fitness to do something with our kids. Like, imagine if you want to go on a hike with you. Like, let's go.

You want to go swim. Let's go. You want to go play football. And I think what happens is a lot of guys that go to work and they get tired. Naturally, I come home and I'm tired, right? But the more you train, the more energy you have and the more likely you're going to be to have the energy go play pickleball with your son if you wants to go play at night. And I think that you can only say no so many times before they stop asking.

And I think that that's something I reflect on regularly. Every time that I want to say no, which is very rarely, but every time I want to, I remind myself, I can only, I only could throw out that no card so many times before my son will no longer ask for me to play toss up with him in the back so you could hit into the net. Like, how many times you got? You know what I mean? Yeah. And also, at the same time, there's only a certain number of years that you have to-

You're going to want to do that. You have that opportunity. Did you talk about your daughter, you know, win the bone with the meat? And like, enjoy those moments because, kids, they're going to evolve. They're going to change, right? Like right now, she might love the pork and the bone. And you know what?

10 years from now, she might decide that she doesn't like pork anymore. And we could encourage and whatever. But ultimately, like, what I've realized is the harder I push, the more they just go away. And I just need to allow them to kind of like figure some stuff out and like enjoy the season I'm in for the time. Because those seasons change very quickly. Like my daughter and I was 13, she no longer wants to hold my hand. That sucks. Like a while ago, whenever it was, a year ago, I held her hand, like, for an extended

period of time for the last time. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll hold her hand, like, but she'll, like, pull it away. She's uncomfortable. And I need to make sure that I, obviously, I'm not going to force me to do it. But like, you know, I remember a year ago, we're on a walk and I could hold her hand for a minute or two.

Like, not the whole time, obviously. But like, now that's gone. I can't do that anymore. Yeah. I mean, my kids are so young still that, like, I haven't experienced those things yet. But it's weird. I know it's going to come one day. What's crazy since becoming a dad, I've gotten, like, I'm not an emotional guy. And I don't say that proudly. Like, I just, I'm not, I was never a big crier. I was not always very empathetic. But since having kids, especially my daughter growing up. Dude, the smallest things will make me choke up. Yeah. Like we were at, me and my wife, we actually did a one-night trip to Colorado two weeks ago.

We went to see Hardy at Red Rocks. Oh, really? It was our first time, first time ever at Red Rocks. Really? It was legit. And Randy Houser opened up for Hardy. And Randy Houser is one of my favorite artists to watch perform live because his voice is so good live. just as good as the recording.

And he brought his five-year-old son out to sing a song with him. Yeah. And instantly, you're out there crying on the-in. In my throat, I feel the lump. So I'm like trying to, I'm looking around. I can feel my eye swelling. And Seth looks over at me. She's like, what's wrong?

I just let it out. Yeah. I just cannot hold it in. I'm like, the smallest things now because I see parents with their kids. Yeah. The first time I heard, um, dirt cheap on. on the music video online, Cody Johnson's Dirt Sheep, started crying because I see my kids and the season I'm in right now, and it's so relatable to these seasons that so many other

parents go through that I just feel it. Dude, I hear you. There was a country song that came on, like, maybe a year or two ago that, like, talked about like, like, it starts off here, then they get married, then they have kids. I can't remember this song now that I'm totally butchering it, but there was like a great country song. But anytime, like, my wife was in the car, like, she's like, she's like, hey, I can't, I listen this without crying. Because it just, it reminds you that your kids will get older and this will change.

And, you know, when you see, that's, that's the biggest advice I think I would give myself currently today is like, enjoy the season you're in because the season will change. Like, like my son is currently really involved in travel baseball. And I was at the baseball tournament till 10 o'clock on Saturday night. And I reminded myself. that like this is not a liability. This is a this is this is something special. And one day I'll look back on these and these are some of the fondest memories I had, which is taking him to all these things because we have time to connect and then talk through sports and use sports as an

analogy for life. And like, but I need to continuously remind myself of that because otherwise I'll be telling myself, dude, it's 10 o'clock. I want to get home. Like he has another game tomorrow at eight. Like all we're doing is prioritizing baseball. But that season's going to end eventually. I don't know when, hopefully not for a long time. But I think that's a good reminder for all of us. My daughter goes into high school next year. Like, where did that go? That's crazy. Where did that go? Like that? As a competitive athlete, when your kids started growing up, was it hard to deprioritize your fitness and your training that might have used to be prioritized over your family to then shift that to be family first, then fitness?

Was that a tough transition? Yeah, I mean, that was a tough transition. I think what ended up happening is I started to recognize, like, I started creating this like, got to go where I just showed to the gym, my training partners, be like, do, I got to go. And I just got to go, got to go. Like, we got to get right into it. And I think that this goes back to what we were talking about with men thinking they

don't have enough time. At this point, what I get more than anything is guys saying, hey, I'm going to show up for your men's club workout. And I just like, okay, dude, or like, I'll be at a party. Like, hey, man, like, I'm ready to get after it. I'm like, dude, cool, awesome. Like, I'm no longer falling up with people. I send out a weekly email and text telling people where I'm going to be at and what we're

going to do on the weekend. And if they show up, they show up. But I think this idea that, like, guys, they want to, they want to work out. They want to do it. They really do. But they can't get past like that first initial hurdle. And what I would tell people is, like, consult at your time. Give yourself 30 minutes.

Give yourself an hour. And if you don't have that in your schedule, like start prioritizing differently. And that's what I had to do when I saw. started having a child prioritized different, two children, prioritized different, and take my training block that I knew I needed and just wake up earlier and or consolidate down from a 90-minute session midday to an hour session because 30 minutes of it was me on my phone, right? Those are the things that I had to make changes on, not so much like, because I still wanted to win the CrossFit games. So I wouldn't reduce my training. I would just reduce the downtime.

You know what I mean? And I think for any guy listening who says, hey, I don't have time train. It's like, dude, you do. You do. Like, I keep a sandbag in the back of my truck. And I, it's 80 pounds. And anytime I'm out of practice, I'll back swat with it. Or I'll run on the track during, during practices. And people say, well, then you're not watching the whole practice. Like, dude, for the first 45 minutes of practice, they're warming up. They're doing drills anyways. I could get in 45 minutes for myself that is only going to help me show up better for the rest of the family for the rest of that day. And I think that once we start reframing it, that people do have time and that you don't need to put on a pedestal and that something is more than nothing,

I think that's the key. Can we go back to when you would approach your training partner and say, got to go, got to go, got to go? Yeah. That resonated with me a lot right there because I feel like my schedule and timeline is very tight now that I have two kids. I have a wife. I have a business.

Fitness is a priority. We're creating content. It's a busy schedule. And when things get thrown into my schedule, that throw off that timeline that I had allocated it for the day, I feel like I'm falling behind her. I'm rushing some time. So if I'm in the gym and I allocate 60 minutes to the gym, but then someone pulls me aside starts having a conversation, I am looking at my watch thinking, I'm losing minutes right now. I got to go. I got to go. Is that what you mean by that?

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, we called it the got to go program. And like, it was just like people knew that when I walked in the gym, what I do. And I still do this to this to his day. and I walk into the gym, I walk into my garage. I know what I'm doing for my program, right? And I'll start a clock, put a clock on the wall. And this is way I used to do with all my training partners in the CrossFit, big time. This is always what we would do. I'd walk in, be like, what's up, everybody?

Fired up. Like, dude, like, because I'm fired up to see them because it only makes my life better because that energy is so infectious, right? You know the way it goes. Yeah. I start a clock. Guys, clock starting at minute 10, I'm doing this workout. You could join me or you don't, but at minute 10, when that clock hits 10, we're going.

And so what would end up happening is, and I just have countless memories of this, is you'd have people like, you know, the kind of bullshit for a minute or two, minute or two, and then all of a sudden, like, oh, shoot, we're starting at minute 10. So they start throwing the clamps on the weights. And I mean, they would be, bo, pop, pop, pop, blah, like a NASCAR circuit, you know, trying to get the barbells ready. But sure enough, we'd start right on time because we had a clock holding us accountable. And that's what I do today is, like,

whether I'm in the morning, like one of the things I do with my son and my daughter, but I'll just start a clock. I'll be like, okay, man, we're going to train for 15 minutes. Boom, we're going to do this. But just using the clock's an indicator, I think is important. I think a lot of people waste a lot of time. Of course they waste a lot of time. They never get to the things they want to do it.

It makes me think back to you. I got so angry a few weeks ago. I showed up, and I usually trained by myself, but I decided to train with this group a few weeks ago and do a workout, which is very rare for me, especially a group that I don't train with regularly. And the workout was supposed to start at 6.30 a.m. sharp, which is late for me.

I kick off my morning run every morning 5 a.m. So the workout was supposed to start at 6.30 a.m. So I was like, all right, this is going to be a 90-minute workout. And it's 25 minutes away from home. I want to be home at a certain time to help out with morning routines with the family. 6.30 hits. People are still rolling in. 6.40 hits.

People are still rolling. in, six, 45 hits, people were putting their shoes on, seven hits. I'm like, all right, now I'm pissed because my timeline is all thrown off because you couldn't show up on time to achieve the standard. And this is why people don't do the things they say they want to do or achieve the things they say they want to accomplish or they don't have time for their fitness is because they're not forward thinking, backwards planning and holding themselves accountable to that timeline. Well, and maybe they just don't care. So like, I guess the way I'd kind of put it back on you or them is like the standard wasn't set, meaning like, I'll take, for example, my training crew.

The standard was set that for me, it was the got to go program. But for them, it wasn't. And that's okay. Like, I don't judge them. So for example, I had plenty of people on my team that we trained with who had more time than I had for a variety of reasons. So if they want to spend three hours in the gym, bullshitting and training, go for it, right? But I just clearly expressed my desire, right? And I guess something I've had to learn over the years, like, who am I to tell somebody that they shouldn't spend three hours in the gym? If that's a part of, like, who you are and you have the time, go for it.

If it makes you happy. But for me, like, for example, with your thing, like the men's club, when we put out the workout, we start at 6.30 every Saturday morning in a parking lot. everybody knows that the timeline is from 630 to 715 that's it and I will not be a minute late or a minute early because I want to prioritize their time because I know that there are busy husbands and fathers need to get back to their lives but if that expectation isn't set with your crew it's hard right because then you're on a different sheet of music than everybody else is and I've had that happen to me before and it's easy for me to get frustrated and I've just had to be like guys I need to start at 630

if you can't start at 630 I just can't be there that's what I've had to do It's actually a great point that if expectations in the standard is not communicated and set even though it may be assumed you can't be mad at anyone else and it kind of goes back to how we started this whole conversation is be focused on your house

instead of worrying about the White House or someone else's house and those distractions and sometimes you have to set the conditions to facilitate that goal that you're trying to accomplish. Yeah, like I know that in Brazilian jihitsu, for example, I know that if the class says it's going to start at noon, in general, it doesn't start to like 12, 15. And I know that. And I just have to be okay with that. And I know that it's going to go a little bit long. But I just plan my day around it probably going long. But if I'm on a crunch, like, I think that setting the expectation, like, hey, we're having a heart, we're starting at 630. We're finishing at this time. And that's all we got has been really helpful for me when training with a lot of partners. Because everyone has a different expression of like, oh, when you say 630, we're talking to 630. We're talking like 638, start to work at around 7.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Have a cup of coffee. Talk about life. Because there is some value there too. But it's just not the value you're looking for because what you're looking for is get in, get out. And so I'd recommend any guy listening, dude, find a program, right?

I have a train hard app. We have a bunch of different programs that could help you out. But have a program in mind. Know what you want to do. Go in there, crush it and get on with your day. And you'll realize that you only need 30. to an hour of structured time to really get a big impact on your fitness. Yeah, I agree with that.

Let's look RPE10. Ooh. I loved, I loved this post you made, how we should expose ourselves to RPE10 at least once a week. And caveat to that, I think it's important for ourselves to experience RPE10. But I think it's important for our kids to see us reach and achieve RPE10. And one of the things that, one of the reasons I want to continue setting these hard, ambitious, challenging fitness goals is because as my kids grow up and they get older, I want them to see me in the pain cave. Yep. I want them to see me sucking and hurting and suffering.

And I want them to see that. And I want them to witness and experience and watch me go through that pain, come out the other. their side and finish what I started. What are your thoughts around RP 10? Yeah, I mean, I agree with you. Of course, you know, it's, I just finished competing in a, what they call it tactical games. I was getting ready for it. I think maybe when I came on the show last time, tactical games is like it's, it's a two gun. It's a pistol and rifle and you do fitness and shooting. So my kids knew that I was getting ready for that. And so it's nice because they're still seeing that I'm putting myself out there. I'm trying to get uncomfortable.

I'm competing. Like I'm doing the high rocks. Like granted, it's pairs. It's low key, but still I'm competing. Or I'm competing in jujitsu. But I'm trying to set these goals because I think it's important for me that if I'm trying to encourage my children to get uncomfortable, right, uncomfortable by trying the new class, AP class, trying to try out for a musical, trying to try out for a different

team. I also need to lead by example and show that I could get uncomfortable. and to be humbled by that experience. I think that's really important. When it comes to RPE10, RPE is a rate of perceived exertion. And, you know, I think that hitting the 10 once a week is really important for law enforcement, for men, for everybody. Because I think that there's this false impression, especially men have this, that they think that,

they think that, hey, if something happens, they're going to be able to show up. Like, if something's going down, I'm going to be able to protect. Like, if I needed a sprint to get my daughter or my son from running the street, I could do it, right? Like, they think that. Or, and in particular, they even have more unearned self-confidence when it comes to combatives, but that's a whole different conversation, right? And I think that if you're not exposing yourself to sprint mentality at least once a week,

it's just not going to be there. So you've got to go RP 10. You could do that on a bike. I'm talking 15, 30 second intervals. I'm talking hill sprints. I'm talking sled sprints. I'm talking just nasty. Like 30 second all out.

And the reason why I do it now and I have the men's club do it is because I think about the practical application, right? Something is happening. My child needs me. I need to get to them fast. And that's why I think you should do it once a week. Not to mention the cardiovascular benefits. Ability to react and respond.

That's it. In the event of some sort of emergency. Fast. Yeah. Aggressive. Like, hill sprints. Like, the reason why I love hill sprints is because traditional sprints, if you're not warmed up well, a lot of people can, like, you know, tear it, you know, can I like hurt their

hamstring, pull a hamstring. I've just seen it too much where, like, people aren't warmed up enough before they get into that. So if we do do traditional sprints, which I think are great, we typically will do them towards the middle of a workout after people are already warmed up. and we ramp them up from like 60% RP, you know, perceived exertion to like up to 90%.

But I think the hill gives us like difference in the way that your foot plants and a difference in like just your stride that I think really provides a phenomenal impact. There was this viral video probably years ago at this point. And it was this older woman. Oh yeah, getting out of a car.

The shopping cart one. It was in the shop, her kid was in the shopping cart. And the shopping cart starts rolling. towards the road. Yes. And she falls down and she can't get up and the shopping cart is getting closer to the road, close to the road. And the kid is so young that they can't get out. They don't know what's going on. And it doesn't end up getting hit by any cars, but it's getting so close to oncoming traffic. And this lady is so unable to get up that she can't go save this

kid. And that's so unfortunate. It's an extreme. And I think everyone thinks of, lack of fitness and being able to perform it at that extreme. But I also don't think that we have to think in terms of that extreme where it goes back to having the level of fitness and being able to perform just so you're not tired or unable to do something physically active. Play with your kids. Not just being able to save your kids is one thing, but being able to be presently physically fit and active with your kids.

kids, that's a daily responsibility. Well, think about this. So the movie, the video you're talking about, what happens is there's a kid in the shopping cart. It looks to me like on the video, it was like a grandma who fell and the shopping cart's going, a guy runs out of nowhere and ends up stopping the car from getting in the street. That's right. Yeah. And the lesson I took away from that was not to bash the grandma. Like, like, I think that, you know, sure, will the parents of that child and this is assuming it's a grandparent, I don't know if it's a grandma. Would the parents of that child second guess now, right? Like, I've had experience where I know that some parents second guess having their children

with certain grandparents because they know they're not physically capable to lift them, right? So that could be a problem too. Or maybe they're not physically capable to move themselves. So I think that that's a whole different level of like longevity that we could get into. But the lesson I took from that is like, you had that guy who, ran out of nowhere and had the capability and was able to stop it. And that's something that I aspire to have the capability to do. You know, like, I want to be the guy where if, if a physical

need comes up or if something comes up, I want to be prepared to be able to help somebody. That's important to me. I agree with that. Do you view fitness as a luxury or responsibility? No, I mean, it's the single greatest responsibility, I think, as a dad, is a luxury. You know, is to maintain my health and fitness for the reasons we've talked about. I just think that I just think that at the bottom of the pyramid, if compassion, love, physical capability, like name all these things you want to have, all these things you want to be able to do as a dad, at the framework of it, I think, is your own physical and mental health.

And I think it's, I think physical health manages mental health. Like, it plays a big part. I'm not saying that you can't be physically. Here's what I'll say. If you're physically fit, I imagine your likelihood of being mentally fit are probably in a better scenario

than if you're physically unfit. I think your likelihood of being mentally fit is more difficult. It's more difficult to be clear of mind, to feel self-confidence, to feel all the things that we need to do to show up for our families when you're not physically active, in my opinion.

Have your kids witnessed you in the pain cave? Yeah, of course, yeah. How do they react? Count those times. I mean, right now it's just like a normal. Like, I mean, I did sled push to my son yesterday. Like, I mean, it's just like a normal thing at my kid's age. That's why.

Like for us, it's just like, it's just an everyday, too. You know, it's just an everyday occurrence. And my wife, too, you know, she has a group of girls that trains in the garage. I have a group of guys and, you know, they have definitely witnessed us in the pain cave many, many times. And I think that there's something special about showing them that because, again, you're overcoming adversity. I think that's really important. You know, everything that I want to do for my children, I hopefully am trying to do for myself as well. Like, I want them to be resilient. I want them to be hardworking. I want them to be compassionate, loving, caring. And hopefully I'm

trying to embody those same things and I'm doing certain things to get there. And I'm not where I need to be, but I'm always chasing. I just dream for, you know, say my daughter's 15 years old and say my son is my 13 years old. And I'm doing like a 100 mile race. Yeah. And some crazy technical train environment up in the mountains. And I come into Checkpoint at that 80 mile mark. And I'm just.

zombie mode. Yes. Everything hurts. My ankles are bleeding. I fell at some point. There's dry blood on my knee. And I'm just sucking. I want my kids to see me as I come into that checkpoint.

I sit down in a chair and my eyes are just doing the thousand-yard stare, preparing to go and bark on the next 20 miles, get the finish line. I want them to witness that and then watch me get out of the chair and go run another 20 miles and cross the finish line. And I've been thinking about this for the last couple months, and I want them to see me endure pain and be resilient and struggle and succeed. And not just through that race, but the months leading up to that in preparation, and that's where I was from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m. every morning before they woke up,

and I was logging the miles, and I was putting in the work and during the process and seeing how that fitness is a family value and the importance of it, not just for the ability to perform, but for the standard it sets for my family, our leadership, our environment, our community. That's like a dream of mine that... It's going to happen. It's going to happen maybe a decade away,

but I want them to see that. No, it's going to happen. They're going to be holding up a T-shirt and a flag. They're going to be fired up for you. It's going to happen. Like if you, if you, it's going to happen. And I think the key term that I pick it up on what you just said is endure, right? Life is going to be hard.

It is. And it's, it's different for everybody. And, you know, some people like are blessed in many ways. But everybody doesn't matter who you are has to overcome some level of adversity in some way, shape, or form. And I think that it's not, you know, if, you know, things will come up, it's just when. And I think that the more that we could train. our children and ourselves to endure, to do hard things, the more capable they'll be, in my opinion, when those hard things actually come across their path. The way that we're trying to deal with

for our children is, is different. It's a little different for everybody, right? But it's showing mom and dad doing hard things. That's number one, right? And then it's exposing them to a bunch of sports where I think they learn a lot about overcoming hardship. In particular, I've found that baseball is just absolutely incredible about that. Because the way the sport is. But yeah, I mean, look, we spent months and months and months in the hospital, and I've seen some really, really, really bad situations. And I think that what helps people get through it is a tough mindset, that life is going to be

hard. And we need to learn how to overcome adversity. And we could choose to do that by starting with these workouts, by having a baseline of fitness. That's it. agree. You know what I mean? I love it, man. I love the messages sharing and the role model you are for men and fathers and the mentorship. I look up to you. Oh, thanks, man. I got a lot of work to do, man. It's just the beginning. You know, I got a crazy story for you. So have you heard of,

have you Psalm 2717? I might butcher that. It's iron sharpens iron and men sharp. And men, have you ever heard that Bible quote? Yeah. So the other day I bring it up on, I'm pretty sure it's 2717. And I bring it up on like a podcast I was on. Just like, hey, this like this or I brought up, I brought up something like this conversation. And someone emails in and says, hey, that reminds me of this Bible verse where it's iron sharpens iron.

I talked about the idea of like bringing men together and trying to sharpen each other. Even through this conversation like listening, learning, what you're talking about. I'm talking about. And then we come together and we try and sharpen each other. And so I started like Googling iron sharpens iron, you know, men sharpen men. I was like really intrigued on it. I started looking at like YouTube videos on it. So I'm sitting in the sauna. It's like six in the morning. And I think about texting a friend of mine. I'm like, dude, you know what? This really speaks to me about the men's club, like whatever. I was like, no, I'm not going to bother him at six. So I think about somebody else. I'm like, hey, I don't want to bother him. I don't want to bother him.

So I just like, I get out of the sauna. I'm just like chilling. and I'm thinking myself, you know what, I really feel compelled to text message. A friend of mine, his name is Sal. He's actually one of the partners at Mind Pump podcast. I don't know if you've heard of it. Yeah, I've had Sal on the podcast. Yeah. So I text him.

I was like, bro, this really spoke to me, this Bible verse. And he goes, that's weird. I'm literally wearing that shirt right now. And he texts me a picture of him wearing an iron sharpens iron, Proverbs 2717 shirt in the car at that very moment that I happen to text them. And it really just spoke to me like, it felt like a message, you know, from God, from the universe that just said, hey, the work needs to get done. Like more men need to sharpen each other. We need to get back to that.

And the only way we could do that is by, by, you know, breaking down the barriers, doing fitness and and having conversations and getting back to some old school type stuff, man. That's the mission I'm on, man. That's the mission I'm on through train hard. That's the mission I'm on in my local community through the parking lot is trying to sharpen each other. And in the process, sharpen myself. Like it is selfish in some way, right? Like the time I get to spend with you, I can also learn from you.

So it's like, all right, let's do it. Yeah, I mean, I'm the same way. I'm trying to constantly sharpen myself and refine my tools and skills and become a better man, father, husband, leader. You only do that by putting yourself in the arena. with other people who are doing similar things or better than you. And I'm a firm believer in that. Dude.

But yeah, isn't that crazy? So the guy messaged me, I'm interested, and then I happen to text the guy who's wearing the shirt at that very moment. I don't know. Some people are going to sit here and say, oh, it's coincidence. Is this and that? Maybe it is.

But nonetheless, it made me feel like I had a clearer vision of what I want to do and what I want to accomplish. And it starts with, like, myself and reflecting on those different areas and then try to make an impact in my local community and then hopefully spreading that out. And I'd encourage any guy listening to this right now, like start your own men's club. Like, go get a couple of guys, you know. Nick has his guys that he runs with.

Find people to go do hard things with and start with some male friends of yours. And I guarantee you six months from now, you're going to message us. And I'm like, this is really impactful my life because you don't know what type of conversation you're going to have until after you're done sweating. Agreed. Well, Jason, I appreciate it, man. It's time to train. It's time to eat. Let's get after it.

Let's do it.