The Nick Bare Podcast - 131: Listen to This If You Keep Making Excuses

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

In this episode, I unpack how making excuses quietly kills momentum—and how to break that cycle for good. Sparked by a conversation with a friend who’s been stuck in his own way, I share five tactical ways to stop making excuses and start showing up.We get into preparation, owning your time, and leading from the front—plus practical strategies like backward planning and thinking beyond the now. If you’re ready to stop hiding behind reasons and start taking control, this one’s for you.CHAPTERS02:15 Setting the Stage: Personal Reflections and Realizations06:20 The Importance of Time Management08:09 Ironman Prep: Challenges and Strategies11:07 Point #125:52 Point #234:09 Point #342:54 Point #453:53 Point #5ORDER MY BOOK HERE:https://www.amazon.com/Go-One-More-Intentional-Life-Changing/dp/1637746210FOLLOW:Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 20% off FOR LIFEhttps://bpn.team/memberIG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. This episode's working title is, it's a call to action. Listen to this if you keep making excuses. And I've really wanted to dive into this episode and this topic and this discussion. And what sparked this idea is a few weeks ago, I was talking to a really good friend. and this friend has found himself making excuses for an extended period of time. And those excuses have led him and distracted him away from his goals, his purpose, his mission.

And the realization was it's because of excuses, making consistent excuses for weeks and months and years. And eventually, when you keep making excuses, and that in itself can be come a habit on its own, you habitally make excuses of why you didn't, why you can't, why you won't, why you shouldn't, when that becomes habitual, it turns into this,

ever revolving wheel of not getting to where you want to be. And there has to be a moment in time, something that happens, sometimes for better or worse, it makes you realize, I have to stop making excuses. And I had a conversation with this friend. And during this conversation, I kept thinking to myself, there's probably so many other people who are experiencing this that could benefit from something, some sort of resource and guide and tool to help them stop making excuses.

And that's what this is. And I want to set some conditions before I dive into these five things I'm going to talk about. Because I myself am not immune to making excuses. I am tempted daily to make excuses very frequently. We all are. We are all tempted to make excuses and not do the things that we know we need to do to get to where we want to be. That is a reality of it. No one is immune to that.

But the five things I'm going to share are ways and things that I reflect upon and ways that I prepare for. for when I'm presented in the moment to make an excuse. And here's why these five things are why I don't make that excuse. They guide me to make the right decision, the hard right as opposed to the easy wrong. And I know the things I'm going to share are easier said than done. And we're all in different situations and we all have different circumstances in life. yes the life that I live

might look different than the life that you live we all come from different experiences and backgrounds we all live 24 hours in a day but our 24 hours all look different based off our responsibilities

our work what we're going through hardships struggles all of those things and for me right now in my life as many of you know I'm the founder and CEO of a growing business that has 45 full-time employees. I'm a husband.

I have two young kids. I have a three-year-old daughter and a one-year-old son. I'm training for an Iron Man. And I do have a fairly flexible schedule. It's a very full schedule. Very full schedule. I have a lot of responsibilities and commitments, but I have the ability to be somewhat flexible with that schedule.

For example, I'm training for an Iron Man right now. And the content that we produce, as I'm training for and preparing for Iron Man, Arizona, November 16th, I can train and we can film. And it is part of my job to do during the work day. So when I leave at the end of the day, I don't have to train again. I can go spend time with family. I am very grateful for that opportunity and that ability. but the reality is that I have worked for a long period of time to get to that ability. And in that process, I didn't make the excuses so that I could be in this position one day.

But I recognize, I truly do, that there are certain things that I can do in my life that you might not be able to do in your life. And it goes vice versa. We all are pursuing these big, ambitious goals. And what is hard as relative. We all have different responsibilities. We all have different challenges that we're trying to overcome. What's easy for you may be hard for me. And what's easy for me may be hard for you.

It goes both ways. So I don't want you to listen to these five things. And this is why I'm sharing this. These five things that I'm, I'm sharing and say, yeah, it must be nice. But Nick, you have this type of schedule. You have this type of job. You live this type of lifestyle.

Yes, that is true. But we can say that for anyone. But these five things that I'm sharing are applicable regardless of the job that you have, the lifestyle that you live, and what you're working towards. The reality is the clock is ticking. every single day, and it doesn't stop ticking. From the moment you are born to the moment that we die, that clock starts and it ends for our time being present on earth in this world.

And at this chapter of my life, my kids are young, my family is growing, and I don't want to miss any of it. I've set out to achieve certain accomplishments in my life and experiences that I want to be able to live presently with my family. And in order to do all of those things, I can't afford to make excuses. You can't afford to make excuses. None of us can. If we value time, which is a limited resource, this is nothing new. We all know this.

is a limited resource. That clock, like I said, it starts when we're born, it ends when we die. And we have limited time on earth to accomplish the things that we want to accomplish, experience the things that we want to experience,

spend the time with the people that we want to spend time with, achieve, accomplish, create and build legacy. And in order to do those things and experience life, We, I, us, we cannot afford to make excuses. Right now I'm in an Iron Man prep.

I'm in my third week of this prep. It's an 18 week prep total. So I'm about 16 weeks out right now. And I said before this entire prep started that it would look different than my previous fitness preps have looked, especially in Iron Man prep. The reason being is that preparing for an Iron Man triathlon is extremely time demanding. I will be training at the peak roughly 22 hours a week at the peak of training.

What I'm realizing going into this third week of prep, and the reason I said before this prep started that this fitness endeavor would look different than the previous ones is because my life looks different. My life responsibilities, my business responsibilities, my family. Every part of my life looks different now than it did in 2019, 2020, 2021. Before we had kids, before our family started growing, and before the business was at the scale and caliber that it is today. And what I'm realizing in this prep so far

is that those things that I identified three weeks ago are very true. I haven't been challenged like this in a long time in terms of time management. I am saying no to more things than I ever had before. And if it doesn't impact my business and the team, my family, the time I spend with my family, the present time I spend with my family, and the Ironman prep itself in the series that we were filming,

I am saying no to pretty much everything else. I am being ruthless with my time right now because I have to. I am extremely focused and intentional with everything I'm doing and I haven't said, like I said, no to this many things potentially ever.

And I'm realizing how many things I, usually say yes to that I probably shouldn't say yes to if I value my time and I want to get to where I want to be with the people that I want to be with accomplishing the things and living a life that is impactful and meaningful. There are certain periods of time in your life where you have to be ruthless with what you say yes to, but more importantly what you say no to to stop making excuses. So the five things that I want to share kick off right now. And like I said, these are things that you can write down, that you can reflect on, that you can implement to stop making

excuses right after you finish listening to this episode. The first, and they are in no particular order, but I feel very confident about this one. This is one that I've been thinking on for a long period of time years. The first is to stop spending time negotiating with yourself. I used to do this and I used to spend an unwarranted amount of time negotiating with myself to either do or not to do. It's a waste of time. First off, we sometimes find ourselves in this situation or this position where there's something we know we're supposed to do. We know there's something that we need to do, but we question it because we don't want to.

We place the want over the need. Don't allow yourself the option. Don't allow yourself the option to negotiate with yourself. Because every decision we make compounds over time, just like compounding interest in financial investments. I recorded an episode about this a few weeks ago, the power of decision. And I believe that we go through our day

in any given day where we are faced with and presented with the opportunity to make all these different decisions. And at face value, they don't seem significant or valuable in any way. But the reality is they all are. Every decision we have to make,

is meaningful and it leads to where we end up one day. The small, the big, the hard, the easy. And I truly do believe that. Every decision should be weighed more heavily than we probably do weigh it right now in this given time. Because decisions compound over time. It's like a snowball effect. When you make more of the right decisions,

that are driven with intentionality and clarity that compounds and grows and grows and grows. If you make more wrong decisions or bad decisions than good decisions, it also compounds, but in the opposite direction, where you lose progress and it sends you into failure and mistake and an unfortunate circumstance. and situation. But then if you find yourself in a place where you're making equally good decisions, as bad decisions, you just maintain the status quo.

You don't really digress or improve. You're just there doing exactly what you're doing previously or what you're doing right now. I believe that the decisions you make earlier on in the day, that sets the foundation for the rest of your day. That's one of the reasons that I run every single morning, regardless if I want to or not. And a practice that you can implement to hold yourself accountable to this, to stop negotiating with yourself, is to write down what you're going to do the next day, the night or day prior, and commit to honoring your commitments the next day.

I love that word honor. honor your commitments. Like if today is Monday and there's things that you know you're supposed to do tomorrow and today the day prior, it's really easy to say, well, I'm going to do these things tomorrow.

But then when you wake up Tuesday morning and now that thing is in front of you that you are supposed to do, it's really easy to say, I'm not going to do this. I'm going to push it back one day or the next day. So practice, on Monday or Sunday or Saturday or whatever day it is,

write down on a piece of paper or in your phone, here's the things I'm going to accomplish and do tomorrow. These are my commitments. And come the next day, I am now going to commit to honoring these commitments. It's a great way to just hold yourself accountable. Again, what needs to be done compared to what you, want to do. Don't allow yourself to negotiate with yourself. Stop spending time negotiating with

yourself of what you want to do or should do, but don't want to do. So here's an example. I have a few examples, actually. Last week, being week two into Iron Man prep, every Wednesday morning I have my speed workouts, my running speed workouts. And that rotates every other week between a tempo workout. So an example of that would be this week. It's 10 miles total of volume. It is a two mile warm up. It is six one mile repeats with two minutes of rest in between each and then two mile cool down. So it's 10 miles total volume. So it rotates between tempo and track being critical velocity. This week is tempo. Last week was critical velocity. So I woke up Wednesday morning being about 10 days into Ironman prep and I woke up sore. I woke up sore. I woke up fatigued.

You know, just getting back into triathlon prep managing about 60 miles of running a week. I think last week on the bike I rode 130 miles and then multiple. swims a week, that fatigue just starts to compound. And you really start to feel it. The deeper we get into prep, my body will acclimate to that volume and that training stimulus and it'll become more efficient at recovering appropriately. But right now, being so early into it, I am feeling the fatigue. I am feeling the beat down. Truly, last Wednesday morning, I woke up sore and tired. The last thing I wanted to do was the work I had scheduled that day. I had 10, 800 meter repeats.

Now, one of the things that I do to hold myself accountable the day prior to a big speed workout is I will go into my Garmin app and I will input the workout for that next day. So when I pull up my watch the morning of that next day's run and I go to start a new workout, it'll show me the workout that is scheduled and programmed for that. morning. So it's really harder for me to bypass that, especially once I start it. I literally in my Garmin app will program two and a half mile warmup, 10 times 800 meter repeat with 60 seconds resting between two and a half mile cool down and the watch will walk me through the workout. I can't exit it. I have to, I have to go through it. That's one way

that I hold myself accountable. But when I woke up Wednesday, the last thing I was want to do, like I said, was 10, 800 meter repeats. I knew my legs were going to be heavy. I knew I was going to be carrying fatigue. I knew I was going to be tired. And I started to negotiate with myself. There I was Wednesday morning, just ate my go bar, just consumed my two scoops of G1M sport. And I was sitting there in the kitchen negotiating with myself. And I was thinking to myself, you know what, I am sore, I am tired. Maybe I'll just push this workout to tomorrow, being Thursday. Or maybe I'll push it to Friday. Then as I started thinking, well, I already have my training scheduled for Thursday. I already have my training scheduled for Friday. I have

these meetings and I have to work around. And if I push it back a day, it's getting closer to my Saturday long run, which will affect my long run performance Saturday. Or maybe I can move my long run Saturday to Sunday to give myself some more time. I started going through all of these negotiating tactics with myself for why I shouldn't do the workout that morning. The one that I had scheduled, the one that I had program into my watch, the one that I had into my training peaks training program. And I was thinking of every way possible to not do this workout.

And then it just hit me. What am I doing? I'm wasting time. Why am I spending all this time negotiating with myself of why I shouldn't do what I know I need to do? Because I want a morning of comfort and ease. And I don't want to feel the pain. I don't want to feel the discomfort. That's probably exactly what I need.

I need to lean in, stop negotiating with myself, stop making excuses and just do what I said I was going to do. I wasted five to ten minutes that morning that I got to spent doing something else or working on something else. I wasted five to ten minutes trying to negotiate with myself of why I shouldn't, why I couldn't, and how I can make it work. I wasn't willing to honor my commitment initially until I realized what I was doing. I was negotiating with myself. So I decided to honor my commitment.

I went out in the garage, put my shoes on, still didn't want to do the workout, started my watch and just did it. Just didn't give myself the option to negotiate with what I said I was going to do. Another example of that, I was in my long run this past weekend. It was a 15 mile run. And in that run, I was just thinking about how powerful the mind was or is.

The only reason we're talking about excuses and in this context, it's not because of physical inability. It's because of emotional and mental inability or instability. It's a mind warfare as opposed to a physical warfare. And I was midway through that run. I was eight miles into my 15-mile run. And I was thinking in the middle of that, I could just stop right now if I wanted.

Eight miles is a solid run. I'm not going to stop. I'm going to finish the 15 miles because I said I was going to finish the 15 miles. I fueled up and I started that morning knowing I was going to run 15 miles. But it's so easy that when you're in it, you can just stop if you want. If you truly want, the mind is that powerful or should I say unpowerful, where we can decide to stop midway through if he really wanted to. And so many people do.

So many people quit midway through. I believe it's much easier, or should I say, it's much harder to get started than it is to keep going. That 800 meter workout that I did that week last week, it was much harder to get started. but once I got started, there was no option, there was no thought of stopping midway through.

Sometimes you just have to stop negotiating with yourself to get started. And once you get started, hold that momentum. One of my favorite quotes that I heard from Chad Wright, it is he said, don't quit in the chair. Don't quit in the middle. Quit because, and this was in context of an ultramarathon,

When you are running an ultramarathon, you come in to a checkpoint, you sit down in the chair to get some food, to recover for a few minutes, to change out your shoes. That's a rest, that's a reset. Don't allow yourself to quit in that moment. Don't quit in the middle. Quit when it's done. Quit when you finish. Quit when your body forces you to stop. But don't let your mind.

win, don't quit in the chair. Finish once you cross that line, when you finish that workout, when you said, or when you do what you said you were going to do. Stop spending time negotiating with yourself. Number two, consider what you lose, not necessarily what you gain. This is a mindset that shift. And just a different way to look at the decision-making process when you want to interface with the opportunity to make an excuse. If you end up making an excuse to not do something, we think of, well, if I don't do this, I don't gain X.

If I don't do this workout today, if I don't honor this commitment of doing what I said I was going to do, I just don't gain the incremental value from what I was going to go do. If I don't go do this workout, this 10 times 800 meter workout, the only thing that happens is that I don't gain more fitness. but I would argue and encourage you to think of it in a different way, which is why I say it's a mindset shift. If I don't go and do this workout that I said I was going to do

and honor the commitment that I wrote down and put out there and said that I was going to accomplish, it's not about the gain, it's about the loss. You lose the ability to fulfill your potential. And I know that's thrown out in so many different ways in circumstances. It's all about fulfilling potential, but what does this potential actually look like? Potential is what we can accomplish, who we can become, the impact that we can create from the time we are born to the time that we die.

As I've already mentioned, that is a finite amount of time. And from the moment we are born, that clock starts ticking. And I believe we all have the responsibility and obligation to accomplish as much as we can to fulfill our potential during that finite amount of time. Because if we end up making excuses to not do these things that allow us to fulfill our full potential, we lose. we lose the opportunity, we lose the ability to fulfill that potential. We underperform, therefore we under deliver not only for ourselves, but for the people around us as well. You lose time.

Something we can't buy back. Something that is a limited resource and asset that we get the opportunity and have to spend wisely. That's the reality is by making excuses, it's not that there's things that we don't gain, but there's things that we lose. And the more excuses we make, and the more time passes, the less chances we have to fulfill that full potential. Here's an example. When I was in the Army, which is a full-time job, active duty infantry officer stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, here in Central Texas. I was active duty for four years. And during that four years, while stationed at Fort Hood, I spent nine months in South Korea stationed at Camp Casey with the

first calf. Before I went into the Army as an active duty infantry officer, I started BPN, the company that I'm still building and working on today. Obviously, when I started BPN in 2012, we were much smaller. The ceiling, the potential that I visualized was much lower. And I was doing two jobs simultaneously. I would start working on the business on BPN earlier in the morning. And then I would go to Fort Hood and we conduct physical training with my platoon. And I would work all day as an infantry platoon leader.

And I'd come back at night on days that we weren't training in the field or we had overnight exercises. I'd come back that night and I'd continue working on the business. This was a period of time in my life for four years where I said no to a lot of things. outside of my job in the Army and building BPN. I said no to a lot of things. A lot of opportunities, a lot of experiences, which I do not regret,

and I don't view as sacrifices. I just view as necessary in that moment during that time to get to where I wanted to be. If I would have said, I'll start working on BPN after my time in the Army. That was an option. It was a very valid option. And I don't think anyone would have judged me or thought otherwise if I would have,

for those four years, spent all my time working as an infantry platoon leader. And then after work and on the weekends would have traveled, hung out with friends, visited family, pursued more leisure activities, watched more movies, watched more movies, Vinged TV shows on Netflix, all of those things, as many of my peers did, which I don't say as a negative. It's just I chose a different path and option. I decided to spend my spare and free time in a different way and committed to a different pursuit.

If I would have done that and started working on BPN after my time in the Army, I know for a fact for a fact, I wouldn't be sitting here today. BPN won't be the size that it is. We wouldn't be creating the impact that we are. I wouldn't have had these opportunities

because those four years of time were so necessary, ind valuable, that I would have lost four years of opportunity, experience, work, knowledge, skill, I wanted to have gained more life experience,

I would have lost actually, lost the ability to set my life up for where it is right now. By making excuses, consider what you lose, not necessarily what you can gain otherwise. The third consideration to stop making excuses is to know and recognize and accept the fact that preparation prevents inability. This is why a big part of my book titled Go One More is all about forward thinking and

backwards planning. I think this is absolutely critical because when you prepare, you give yourself the chance, you increase the likelihood to succeed and achieve. Lack of preparation is just asking to fail. Lack of preparation is setting yourself up for failure. So much of preparation is taking a step back, looking into the future. That's why it's called forward thinking backwards planning.

I learned this in the military, but I believe as simple as the concept is, it's a concept that many people don't implement, and it's been game-changing for me. In this moment, I can forward think about what my day today looks like, what my day tomorrow looks like, and what the day after it looks like. And then with all that consideration, I start planning backwards of what do I need to do today, tomorrow, and the next day to be set up for success.

How do I need to build my schedule? What do I need to move around? what do I need to cancel? What do I need to reschedule and shift? What foods do I need to prepare and when and why? Based off that, do I need to ask for help? Do I need to order more groceries? Do I need to dedicate and commit some time tonight to preparing some of those meals

or preparing for a podcast episode based off of moving things around? I am constantly, constantly. If you could see into my brain, it is forward thinking backward. planning all of the time. Forward thinking backwards planning. Forward thinking backwards planning. This third consideration will set us up for the next consideration I'm going to bring up. Lack of preparation is the result of excuses.

Not necessarily lack of resources. Preparation prevents inability. Here's an example. Before diving into this example, I think sometimes we think that things are very hard or challenging. And it's because we make them hard or challenging for ourselves because we don't prepare or plan appropriately. We can make our lives and our goals and our accomplishments actually much easier to achieve with a greater understanding and practice of preparation and planning. So earlier this week, we had a group in town that we work very closely with.

and we were in that conference room with that team from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. It was a full day in the conference room. And based off of my goal that I have for Ironman, Arizona, November 16th, I had to forward thinking backwards plan for that day. So this is a very simple example of how I forward thinking, how I prepare to not make excuses. So I knew this meeting was coming up for weeks. So I had time to prepare.

And I knew I was going to be in this meeting all day in this one conference room. But I wanted to get my training in. So I front-loaded two of my training sessions prior to that meeting. And in order to get two sessions in, two training sessions in before that meeting and not mess up the schedule and routine of my family so my wife can work out in the morning so we can get the kids up so we can feed them all of those things. I had to wake up earlier than normal. And waking up earlier than normal had to be done so I could get my training sessions in, not disrupt the routine of my family and be at the office to kick off that first meeting at 9 a.m. And throughout that

entire work session, I had to stay on top of my nutrition to make sure that I was fueling and recovering from previous training sessions and in preparation for upcoming training sessions in the following days. So during bathroom breaks, I would strategically ask for bathroom breaks at times I knew I needed meals. I had all my meals laid out in my office so I could go right into my office, take a bath and break, fill up my water, grab a meal, bring it back to the conference room. I hit my macros. I hit my nutrition for that day. And as soon as we get out of that meeting at 4 p.m., I had my bike set up in the gym. I walked out of that meeting, put my cycling shorts on, hopped on the bike, knocked out my bike session, went home. I got it all done because I had things

prepared and laid out because I practiced forward thinking and backwards planning. And someone walked up to me during that day. And it was as I was grabbing one of my meals in my office and going back to the conference room to jump back into this meeting, and they stopped me for a brief second. And they said, I have no excuses. And that comment there is what, triggered or sparked the need for what I believe this podcast can do and help people. They stopped me at that moment and they said, I have no excuses.

I know you're in this meeting all day. I know you're an Iron Man prep. I see you walking from the bathroom to fill up your water to grabbing your meal to going back into the conference room and sitting in a meeting and eating your meals that you prepped and planned for. I have no excuses not to hit my nutrition on any given day. And I have been practicing that for so long that it is now habitual. It is part of my routine because I know it's something that I have to do in order to achieve

the things that I say I want to achieve and then honor those commitments. Preparation prevents the inability to make excuses. and not accomplish the things that we say we want to accomplish. It allows us, it gives us the opportunity to actually honor our commitments. Forward think, backwards plan, prepare and plan. Prepare and plan so you don't give yourself the option to make an excuse. Because what would have happened, what would I have lost if I didn't do all that planning

and preparing. Probably a few things. One, I wanted to have gotten the quantity or quality of training sessions that I wanted that day. It's just one day. Yeah, but one day turns into two days and two days turns into three days and three days turns into ten days and that compounds. The way you do, one thing is the way you do everything. But it's just one day. Yeah, it's one day. It's a day. It's an opportunity for me to be stressed and tested and stay on track. I would have missed out on, like I said, the quantity and quality of training session. I would have fell behind on my nutrition, which would have hurt my recovery and would have affected my fueling for the upcoming days and training sessions.

And I would have fell behind all because I lacked the intentionality of preparing, and planning. Number four, manage your time appropriately. This sounds like common sense, and I believe it is. But Steph and I were having this conversation a few weeks ago. And I believe, truthfully, the number one most important trait of highly successful people who accomplish and achieve, whether that's individuals, teams, businesses, organizations,

is that they are extremely efficient and effective at managing their time appropriately. And there's levels to this kind of stuff. I believe it's one of my strengths. I manage my time very appropriately. and I'm very consistent with the way that I manage my time very appropriately, which allows me to do a lot of different things.

But in order to manage your time appropriately, you have to be willing to say no to 99 things so you can say yes to the one thing and the one thing that matters. If it really matters to you, you will make time. It's another section of my book. and that is something that I shared for the first time, I believe, about a year ago, and it resonated and connected with a lot of people. If it matters to you, you will make time.

But you got to figure out what really matters to you first. There are fewer things that really matter than you may be spending your time on. And that's another practice that I believe we should all go through. and I've had to do multiple different times throughout different chapters and seasons of my life is do an actual audit.

I get a piece of paper out and write down what actually matters to me. That's what I've had to do in this season of life right now for the next four months. What really matters? My family matters.

My family will always be number one priority. Always. My big, business, my team, the people, our mission, that matters. And this Iron Man Prep matters. Just like I've talked about so many times of these last couple months, the importance of having a vision. And vision is broken up into three components being core values, purpose, and goals. if you define, you clearly define your vision for your life

or a season and chapter of life that you're in, your core values and your purpose probably shouldn't change throughout your lifetime unless there's some sort of very significant altering to your core values and purpose, hopefully for the better or not the worse. But goals can be sure, medium and long-term targets.

Those goals are the things that matter what you're trying to accomplish. And when you're presented with a decision or an opportunity and you then go reference that clearly defined vision, core values, purpose, and goals, if it doesn't align with or fit any of that vision or the things that you say do matter to you, it's a very easy and consistent no.

No. I'm sorry, but no. No, that doesn't align with what I want to accomplish or what I'm trying to do right now. No, I'm sorry, but that doesn't truly matter to me right now. Sometimes it feels bad and it's hard to say no to people, but we have to be able to say no to people in certain situations and circumstances. It's not like this blanket no all the time. there's definitely exceptions to that rule.

But we have to be able to say no to a lot of things and opportunities and experiences so that we can say yes to the things that truly do matter in that moment. But I believe that is the number one trait of highly successful people. They say no to so many things so they can say yes to the things,

that really do matter. I was thinking about examples of this. And because I'm in this really, I don't say busy season, but a very focused season right now. When I go into a prep, especially a big prep like an Iron Man, and we do a full series around it,

I mean, right now we have three creatives, and videographers and editors working on this entire series. It's a huge undertaking. From all the filming and all the editing and all of the production, it's a really big project for us. And it requires a lot of focus and a lot of work. And I haven't gone into a prep or a YouTube series, a content series of this level for a few years.

So I'm learning all of these new things again that I haven't had to go through or I haven't been challenged with for quite some time. And I'm realizing how much I'm saying no to right now and how hard it is to manage time appropriately when time is demanding, energy is demanding, and there's a lot of responsibilities personally and professionally. So in the last week, there's been about 30 people, and I'd say that's the, that's low-balling it. There's been at least 30 people who have asked for 15 to 20 minutes of time in a week, just last week. And this comes from email requests or friends who just want to catch up,

DMs on social media, mentors, coaches, all of these things. People reach out and just asking for time. Time is something you have to protect, especially if you're trying to accomplish a big goal during that time. So what I found is when people ask for 15 to 20 minutes of time, it's never 15 to 20 minutes.

It's at least 30 minutes. minutes of time, sometimes an hour. But if I were to say yes to all of those requests, 30 people, considering each person gets about 30 minutes, that's 900 minutes of time. That's 15 hours. 15 hours in a week of just check-ins with people, which, again, I want to reinforce, this is not saying no to people when they need help or they ask for help, but sometimes these 15 to 20 minute requests are just check-ins or they want to present business opportunities or new products and services. I will make time for people, businesses, businesses, organizations when I think I should dedicate time to those things.

But for the mass majority, if I were to say yes to all these requests every week, especially in a very focused season, trying to find an additional 15 hours a week is really challenging and difficult. And it's going to take away from my ability to accomplish the things that I'm trying to accomplish in this given time. something's going to have to give. You can't just keep layering on hours in a day and a week. It has to pull from something else.

It's either going to affect my work and my ability to work with the team here in the business. It's going to pull away from my time or focus training towards his Ironman goal. Or even more importantly, it's going to take away from my time with my family. being present, being active, being there, being focused. 15 hours is a lot. And I'd say that's, as I've mentioned, the low ball. You might not realize it. And I know I didn't early on.

But I was giving away a lot of time to things that in the grand scheme didn't matter. And it was affecting my ability to, achieve the things that I wanted to achieve. And ultimately, it was an excuse of why I couldn't accomplish what I wanted to or said I was going to. If you can't manage your time appropriately and you're running out of time, that's an invalid excuse of why you're not doing the things you say you're going to do. learn how to manage your time appropriately and your life will change guaranteed the fifth consideration

is that we have to lead by example we have the responsibility to be leaders and when you're presented with this decision of making an excuse pursuing an excuse or doing and honoring what you said you were going to do i think we have to ask ourselves the question question, who are we influencing based off of our actions and decisions? Who are we leading? How are we leading? We have to set the standard and hold the standard. And when we're faced with this fork in the road of do I go left and accept the excuse and lean in and not do, or do I go right and honor the commitment? and ignore the excuse and do what I said I was going to do, we have to make this decision for them and not you, for them and not ourselves.

Making excuses doesn't just affect you. When I make an excuse, it doesn't just affect me. It affects everyone around us. It affects everyone around me. making excuses, I would love for us all to think of it this way. Making excuses is one of the most selfish acts that we can practice and demonstrate. It is one of the most selfish acts that we can practice and demonstrate. Benjamin Franklin has a quote.

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. if you become really good at making excuses and you're consistent at making excuses and you fall a victim to negotiating with yourself and making the excuse of why you should pursue what you want to do, not necessarily what you need to do,

you stop leading people, you stop setting the standard and holding the standard and you're placing yourself first and not others. You're not leading your family. You're not leading your team. You're not leading your peers. You're not leading people.

We have a responsibility to work really hard and lead others by setting a standard and holding the standard. This is one of the reasons I've actually decided to go into Iron Man Prep. At this period of my life, as I've mentioned before, it's a really full. It's a really full season of life. For the past couple of years, I avoided going into an Iron Man prep because I knew how much commitment was required.

Time and energy. It is a time and energy, I don't want to say suck, but it is a time and energy commitment that will take away from other things that you want to do or other things that matter or might matter in life. But this is why I felt the need and the obligation to go into Iron Man Prep. Because I can't make the excuse that I don't have time. I can make time.

I can practice and implement these five things that I've shared today to lead by example, to set the standard and hold the standard. I want to pursue this Ironman. I want to document the prep to show, not tell how you can be very ambitious with your own personal goals,

but also show up for your other responsibilities in life, for your family, for your business, for your team, for other people and individuals in groups of people, community. You can do it all. It is not easy. It is very challenging. It's supposed to be challenging. But if you learn how to manage your time appropriately and prioritize the things that matter, or at least the things you say that

matter, and then get comfortable with saying no to 99 things, you can say yes to the one thing, that is an opportunity to lead by example. To show what is required to honor your commitments. and keep growing and building and creating legacy and impact on other people. Another example that I wanted to share, you may have noticed this or you may have not. I have actively, the last couple months, made it a priority of mine to stop cursing. And it still slipped out occasionally here and there. but I'm very conscious of the language that I use and the way that I speak

because I do feel the responsibility to be a rule model for other people that consume my content, especially young people growing up and building a family and entering the workplace and leading a life through God and following Jesus. And if I'm going to be that role model, I'm going to be that person,

I shouldn't curse or use language that I used to previously. I used to use language sparingly. I wouldn't say it was excessive, but sparingly and occasionally, language that did not match or align with my values in the legacy that I wanted to create and leave. And I used to use the excuse that, well when I was in the military when I was in the army

cursing was so normal that we used it like commas which is actually pretty true especially in an infantry unit the F word is thrown out like a comma left and right and you don't think anything of it and it becomes part of your vocabulary and you become a product of the environment that you are in people you are surrounded by

and you, I accepted that, adopted that and using an excuse of why I cursed and continued to curse, even though it didn't align with my beliefs, my values, the way that I wanted to lead a team and be perceived and raise a family. So a few months ago, I made the conscious decision that I'm going to stop cursing. and it still slips out occasionally, like I said, but I'm working on it. But I'm no longer using the excuse of why curse because of the environment that I was raised in or the workplace that I started in. And it's just part of the culture and the environment. No, that's not an excuse.

It can't be an excuse. That's one way that I have recognized excuses. that I have made in the past and made changes to lead by example, to lead, influence, and set a standard for others because I feel that responsibility. I feel that obligation. I think God provided me the opportunity to build these platforms, these social media platforms, and create content and tell my story

and cultivate a community for a much larger purpose than that I once thought it was. I thought that my purpose years ago was to share fitness information and that's why I was put on this earth and that's why I was provided the opportunity to build these platforms.

But there's been a mindset shift over the years where I truly do believe that fitness is the medium and the bridge to cultivate community and this audience and these platforms to serve ultimately a greater good in purpose. Fitness is the medium. Fitness is the bridge. But my responsibility as a role model, as a business leader, a founder, as a husband, as a father, as a servant to Christ. I believe that's why I've been

gifted the opportunity to build these platforms. And that's going to guide the future of the way I use these platforms in my voice, in my message, and the way that I serve the community and the audience that have decided to follow me and support me on this journey for these last 13 years. But that guides a lot of my decision making. And it allows me to make the right decision and avoid the excuse, steer away from the excuse, because I know that there's an obligation to serve others in this journey. in this process. So my hope, my goal with this episode is that you can listen to this.

And there's practical key takeaways so you stop making excuses. And you accomplish the things that you say you want to accomplish. And you honor those commitments every day consistently. You're going to miss. You're going to be tempted. and you're going to pursue these excuses every once in a while. We all do it. It happens to all of us, but don't make it habitual.

Don't make it routine. Don't allow it to be consistent. So go forth, conquer. And as always, go on more.