The Nick Bare Podcast - 146: The Bare Family Testimony

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

Today, Stef joins me to talk openly about how our faith has changed everything — our marriage, how we parent, how we see purpose. Stef walks through her journey from growing up Catholic to pursuing a real relationship with Jesus. I share the moment I got saved and how that forced me to realign priorities, identity, and how I lead at home. CHAPTERS:00:00 Welcome / why this conversation01:21 Ironman prep, strength work, and family04:22 Stef’s faith journey09:45 How faith changed our marriage and home14:18 My spiritual wake-up call20:44 Growth and struggle27:52 Salvation story40:45 Purpose and identity41:25 Marriage shift47:51 Training in a changing household50:02 Identity and control54:14 Raising kids to know God01:00:24 Daily rhythms from “Habits of the Household”01:12:05 Community and accountability01:17:54 Encouragement for husbands and wives01:21:11 Final thoughtsORDER MY BOOK HERE:https://www.amazon.com/Go-One-More-Intentional-Life-Changing/dp/1637746210FOLLOW:Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 20% off FOR LIFEhttps://bpn.team/memberIG: instagram.com/nickbarefitness/YT: youtube.com/@nickbarefitness

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today, I have a returning guest. That guest is my wife, Stephanie Bear. Thanks for having me again. First time in the studio. I was telling Matt, I drove here and I drove to the old HQ. That tells you how much I've been here. I really haven't been here much.

We've been in this new HQ now, May, June, July, August, September, October, six months, which is actually crazy because it's been a fast six months. How many times would you say you've been here? Well, I feel like we always bring people that are in town. We let the kids run around during working hours, maybe twice. How many times have you trained in the gym here? Zero. That's sad.

But once you, I'm in my rhythm of working out first thing in the morning. Working out, like how we used to, at 2 p.m. sounds terrible. I would rather not work out than work out at 2 p.m. Like, I need to get it done. Speak for yourself. I still train it 2 p.m. I know, but there's just something about the ease and convenience of the garage gym. Like, I don't think I'll ever train anywhere else, which sucks because this is a beautiful facility.

But I love our little garage gym. Shout out play. I meant to tell you this, actually. Yesterday, I tried to do a pull-up for the first time in, this is no exaggeration. Probably 14 or 15 weeks. Just because I've significantly. It pulled back on strength training during this Iron Man probe. Just core, right?

Pretty much just core strength. And I'm training 20 to 22 hours a week between the swim, bike, run, and then core strength. And I wanted to do a pull-up. Could you do one? It was so tough. Wow. It was so tough. Wow.

I would be so curious how much you could squat right now. It was extremely humbling. Now, I will say, I did that pull up after an eight-mile run, a one-hour swim in a 90-minute bike ride. Yeah. But still, it made me realize the strength journey is going to be a humbling one. Yeah. I mean, I feel like we've been talking about how lean you are a lot lately, but when I met you, you were 230 pounds. And what were you this morning?

after my run 178. Yeah, I mean, you were a big husky boy when I met you. I can't wait to put size back on. Yeah. This winter is going to be...

What's crazy, too, is like... A bulk. You still wear the same clothes. They hang off me. I know, but you still wear the same clothes. And I don't... I'm never like, oh, he looks like he's swimming in his clothes. It's just somehow it all fits.

I don't know. But you told me the other day that you like this, lean this. I didn't say I liked it, but I don't even know how to respond to that. I like it when you are comfortable and fed and happy. What is my ideal body weight for you? That's a weird question. Why?

Because I just don't know. I mean, right now you feel a little scrawny, a little, but maybe 200. Maybe, I don't know. That's my plan is after this. Ironman prep, get back to 200, 205, more strength training, moderate endurance. But I can- You're still going to swim? No, I'm not going to swim. No, I'm not going to swim. I might not swim ever again after this prep. What about biking? I enjoy cycling. Yeah, but I just can't let you bike down the road. It's dangerous. I can't take that, yeah. But I do enjoy cycling. But going

into this winter, I mean, post Iron Man Prep, I think our life is going to look a whole lot different. Yeah. And we can get into some of that throughout this conversation because our life has transformed significantly. Yes, it has. Over these last couple months. That's really what I'll talk about today. Yeah. I think that was the goal of this conversation is how our lives, our marriage, our family has transformed since I've been saved. Yeah. And since I've committed my life to following Jesus Christ. Yeah.

But I would love, before we get into that, for you to share your faith journey over the last couple years. Yeah. Or you started from when you were young. My testimony. Share your testimony. Yeah, just tell me, tell me everything. Well, first of all.

Where'd you start? Where are you at now? Well, first of all, you know, it's really cool is, I don't know if you saw it, but before I left the house, I was like, oh, we'll do like a fun rapid fire Q&A at the end. And I just, like, put up a question box to see if people had to see if people had. But like, I only saw a few before I came in here. But every single one was like, tell us more about what Nick's Faith journey has been like for you. Like, that's all people want to know about. Well, that's what we can talk about today.

I know. But that just is so cool that that is of interest to people. And people are curious. and I feel like that reflects people either wanting advice on it or they're going through something similar. So I'm really excited to talk about it. But anyway. God is good.

Jesus is king. Okay, so I think we kind of grew up pretty similarly when it came to religion. Back then, that's what it felt like was just religion. I was raised Catholic, did all the things, you know, communion, catechism, confirmation, all that. but I just had no idea. I just didn't know what it was. I was like, I'm doing this because my mom and dad told me to. And, like, that's why I'm doing it.

And we went through phases where we went to church on Sundays, but I dreaded it. I feel like my parents didn't even really have, like, a sincere joy or interest in it. We just went. How often were you going to church? Seasons where it would be, like, more frequently, but then sports kind of overcame people's lot, like our lives, like a lot of people do. and then it just slowly became Christmas Easter and then it slowly became oh we should probably go Christmas Eve

and then like we just didn't it just kind of fell I wouldn't even sit to the back burner it just completely fell off but in my family and this is like not to you know talk poorly about my parents

the way they raised me because I love the way they raised me and I actually love my story and I wouldn't want it any other way so I'm glad that it shaped out the way it did but we always had a foundation of praying and I heard my parents talk about God, but it was just never in the sense of a relationship, really. It's just, it was very foggy in this concept that I just didn't fully understand. When you say praying, what do you mean? Like nighttime prayers, but it was very

robotic, you know, like now I lay me down to sleep. Yeah, we said that prayer too. Right, yeah. God is good, God is great, let us sing him before food. And that is what we did before dinner. All men. For sure, yeah. So, and I had grandparents, like I have a grandma, my only grandparents and still living. She is, I feel like, very close to the Lord. Like, she goes, she doesn't miss a Sunday at church. My other grandparents are the other side too. Like, I heard them talk about it.

So it's almost like it was a little bit more ingrained in them. But it never really trickled down to me and my siblings. My sister, on the other hand, she got saved way before I did. And it's been awesome to see her journey. And she's such a strong Christian. And she's a huge part of how I'm on my journey too. But, yeah, I didn't grow up a really. friends who had a relationship with God, went to college, didn't surround myself with anybody

who talked about God, knew God, good people, good girls, like still some of my lifelong friends, but I just didn't have anybody in my life that was close to God, so I just didn't know what it was like. And I moved to Nashville when I was 24. I think I tried to find a church, and I just like went once and kind of got freaked out because it was my first mega church experience and I kind of just stepped back. But again, like, I did. Yeah. And, um, why did? Why did you go? I don't know. I think it's because I was alone in a new city. And I'm like, I need something to do on Sundays. Maybe I can meet people this way. I think it was crosspoint is where I went. And I was just super overwhelmed. Because coming from the Catholic world, I was like, what is this? Like,

it was like a rock concert. So again, like in my single years and my 20s, I would pray at night. And it definitely was more conversational. I don't know how I got to that point because I wasn't doing any work or I wasn't reading the Bible. But I think it all kind of really came about when I met you. I remember, do you remember when we were in Whistler and we talked about religion? Do you remember that? No, not really. It was like the last dinner when we talked about at the time when I was like, you need to move to Michigan. I remember you were like, I want to be a sucker dad. I'll get the minivan.

Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember that dinner. We did talk about religion there. And I'm like, so where do you stand? You know, like, I grew up like going to church and I believe in God. Like, I remember that. I don't remember that. And we both were kind of on the same playing field at that point.

Just like, not even lukewarm. We were just, I don't know, I think we were both looking back, just not believers, just kind of conforming to worldly ideas of what religion is. So it all started to change when I moved here. And we were actually just talking about this last night. But I remember the first time I ever really was around someone who was talking about Jesus in a way that made me curious, a little uncomfortable, to be honest, but curious, who's Jordan and Michaela. And they were, Jordan was coming down. They committed, Jordan was what higher for us?

Three, four? Four. Four. This was the first time he brought Michaela down. and we met them. They stayed with us. And I remember we were just talking in the living room. And Michaela was showing me pictures of this mission trip they went on in Uganda. And they were just talking about, you could tell, like, I think they were, I don't want to say newly saved, but they were like pretty freshly saved, I think, at that point. But you could tell they had that fire in them, kind of like how we do now. And I remember them talking

about it. And I'm like, oh, wow, this, I've never heard someone talk about Jesus this way. But looking back, like, they knew Jesus, like, fully. So at that point, I was a little curious, I guess. And then I think it was Michaela. And then Phoebe, because Phoebe and Trey are two of the strongest believers we know, like just huge influences in our lives, which is why I think Michaela and Phoebe gravitated towards each other. They invited me to Radiant Conference at our now church celebration. It's a women's conference.

And I think at that point, I don't know if we've been. had been to celebration. But went to the conference, was super uncomfortable. Not going to lie. Hands up in the air. I was sitting in the front row because they invited me. And I was just super overwhelmed in a good way. But I was like, oh, there is something to this. And from there on out, it was just lukewarmness for me. I think we started to go to church every now and then. I think when Charlie was born, we tried to go a little bit more. But the big turning point for me, we've told the story a bunch of times, though, was, I knew your mom was a big believer. And right before she passed away, she was on hospice in, you know, in your living room that you grew up in, she, one of the last things she told us,

she had this, like, insane spur of energy. Like, she was sleeping most of the time that we were with her. And we had that little wedding ceremony in your living room. Was it after that? I think so. I think it was right after we had that little wedding ceremony. She just got this insane burst of energy and gave the speech. I wish so badly we had that on, like, video, because I remember we all felt the same way after. But the thing she said was, if you guys ever want to see me again, you have to know and follow the Lord. At that point, I was like, wow, that's profound. And then from there, that was just the biggest seed that was planted. And I think I've been a little, I don't want to say ahead of you, but I've just been, I was doing more deep work, I think, earlier than you were. And that was because of your mom. And just all of these little seeds that were planted. Phoebe, Michaela, your mom, Celebration Church, even getting to know Pastor Lori. And then, yeah, from there, I just, I think a really pivotal time when I really got close to God and learned more and actually spent time in the word for the first time in my life was when we were going through infertility with Charlie. And I think that's, the case for a lot of people. You're like, well, I have nothing else to lean on. Like, I have no control over this. Like, where do I go? And that's when a lot of people will find God. And that was the case for me. And that was a really big growth year for me. And then just year by year, it's gotten stronger. And then just, you know, the past few months with you, I've seen my faith and

walk with God, just 100 X. It's because of you. So it hasn't been one big moment. I don't have this one moment at church camp. It's just been all of these little seeds planted that have gotten me here now. And now I know we both feel this way. But I just cannot imagine life without it. And I'm just so glad that we've gotten to this point in our life at the point in life we are right now with young kids because we are just changing the trajectory for our children's lives, doing this together. And I don't want to say I was ever, I never felt like I was doing it on my own. but what I've told you a million times is I didn't know how much better our life could be

until we were totally lock and step with the Lord together you would always go to church with me you would always pray with me like you would always hear me out but you never led until now and that's when the changes have just exploded. Yeah, I would go to church with you

but I didn't want to go to church. Yeah, but you would go and I feel for people that have spouses that don't won't even go because that's a very real thing. So I'm grateful that you went with me and you supported me even though you didn't want to go. I didn't. But I think, I was thinking about this in the way here, I'm wondering my question for you is, do you think my journey that was just a little bit further along than yours, did that play any seats for you? Do you think that had anything to do with it?

It's okay, the answer is no. Or is it just been kind of recently like what you've been feeling? I've never asked you that. That's a great question. If I'm being honest, you can say no. I'd say no. Yeah.

Because I've been surrounded by believers, people, especially men of God for the last couple years. And just being around it, if I'm being honest, it really didn't drive much interest or curiosity because my priorities were, so unbalanced and out of alignment where it felt like a distraction

to what I was trying to accomplish and reach. The only way I can describe it is I was attempting to find peace and joy and fulfillment and the finish line. I was looking for the finish line

to finally have hope but I was looking in all the wrong places and I was avoiding the one person that would provide me all of those things and I eventually got to a point where I realized there's nothing else. I'm hopeless in this pursuit. I think I'm missing out on the one thing.

So what was it like for you? Was it frustrating knowing that or thinking that I was never going to, to get there or I wasn't interested or I didn't want to form a relationship with Christ when you were committing your life and dedicating time and really on that journey? I don't think I ever had moments of frustration because again, I didn't know how good it could be if that makes sense. Like I just didn't, I didn't know what the other side felt like. You don't know what you don't know. Right. And I think it to you like I remember when we went to

Nashville, what was 2019, the first time for that. loved one event. And we were around the Marinic family. I remember seeing like Suzanne speak and her husband Michael speak. And you could tell they both were just like equally just on fire for the Lord. All their children were. And I remember being like, I want to get to that point. Like that's the family. Like I just, I look up to that family so much like so many people do. And I remember thinking like will Nick ever get there? Like I'm not sure and how far can I get on my own? Like I don't think I can get very far on my own. But I was never frustrated or angry. I was just happy that you were willing to go to church with me, that you were willing to pray with me. But again, I just didn't know

how good it could be. And it's like, I just can't even like remember life before because it's just so much more adventurous and joy-filled and light and purposeful now. So yeah, I don't think there any moments of frustration. Definitely glimpses of like, man, I wish, I hope. But I prayed for it all the time. I always would pray. Like, Lord, I just pray that you become, like, the center of next existence, like, the healings on you, that you guide him.

Like, I was praying a lot for it. And I think God hurt those. Because, I mean, we talk about this all the time. Like, I think you got saved at the time that God wanted you to get saved. For sure. He chose a time so strategically. and just poured everything into you at once, which is why I feel like your experience was so just,

I don't even know the word. I don't want to say fast, but it was just so abundant all at once. Yeah, it truly took over you. It took over me. Yeah. Yeah, I almost feel guilty saying this, but like going back to sitting that,

house where you're looking at that family thinking, I want our life to look like this, I was probably sitting right next to you. You were sitting next to me. Yeah, I was. But I was probably sitting right next to you thinking these people are so distracted from like what really matters. And that is success and money and accomplishment. And I look back now thinking, you were so ignorant and stupid, Nick, because I was sitting

there thinking, I got it figured out. And you guys are wrong. You guys are off course. Yeah. I'm this entrepreneur who's building this thing and who is achieving and succeeding and performing. And all of you guys are distracted. But the reality is, like reality, reality check, I was the one that was distracted. Distracted by worldly one. and desires, distractions coming from the enemy. And, you know, fast forward a few years, all these people who are filled with peace and joy and fulfillment from putting God at the center of everything,

they're winning in life and I'm losing. Yeah. Because I couldn't find any peace or joy or love or any of those. things. So I just look back to younger Nick and I just want to shake them. Like, dude, you were so naive and ignorant and distracted from what really mattered. What were some of the problems you think we were experiencing in our marriage? So we just celebrated five years of marriage last week. years together, five years married?

Eight years together, five years married. We just celebrated five years. The first four and a half years of our marriage. Yeah. What was the, what was it the center of our problems, would you say, that we experienced? Man, I don't really know how to articulate it. I think it might have just been, I felt like we were always missing each other when it came to communication. and how both of us felt loved.

Like, I think all I remember is all of our arguments just being like, it sounds so petty, but I just want you to pay attention to me. Like, I just want you to see me and want to spend time with me and I just want to feel loved and seen and prioritized. I think that's probably what it was. And that makes sense.

I mean, I'm sure so many people that are married to business owners or people who, you know, have really demanding career, like that's a common thing. You go through seasons of life where marriage is a priority, but I just, I feel like until, you know, the last year or so,

I just haven't felt that. So I think it was just like, if I had to put like an overarching theme on it, it was priority alignment. Yeah. That's, I have that written down here because that's like one of the main things

I wanted to talk about. Yeah. I've always been a proponent of prioritizing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But what I've learned over these last couple months is I had my priorities misaligned. Yeah. It's one thing to say you prioritize certain things.

It's really easy to say my priorities are my family, my priorities are my health, and then it's work. But what ends up happening is, you know, when you go to. plan out your calendar, all things work, go on your calendar first, and then maybe some personal things, then some family things, and then if there's time for God and going to church, we'll throw that in at the end. We'll sprinkle that in. But it's really hard putting priorities into real life and in practice, but once you do, it is a solution to many, if not all of your problems. Yeah. So like priorities now, God first. Which I would say I was out of alignment with that too.

In what way? God not being first. It's probably you, kids, God. Yeah. But now I've learned through this journey we've been on together that it is 100% God first. God is always first. Everything is his, not ours. God first, family second, then everything else.

Yeah. And that's why I say that post Iron Man prep, I think our life is really going to change. Because being in this Iron Man prep right now is even showing me, I think showing us that that Iron Man prep, this Iron Man prep even challenges our priorities. Yeah. A little bit. Talked about it last night. We did have a conversation about this moment.

We had a conversation. My one and only moment in this prep, though. It was. Yeah, it was. Last night was the first time this came up. We're a few weeks out. but that has been the center of just being very transparent here. These fitness preps since 2018,

all these fitness preps I've done for the last seven years have been the core of many of our problems in our relationship. Yeah, and the first time you jumped into one, it was Iron Man, right? I go true, and that was shortly after we got married. No honeymoon phase for us. Yeah. I mean, I kicked off Iron Man Prep in 2019, 2020. So engaged when we were engaged.

Yeah. It was right after your mom passed away. Yeah. And that's where it really started. Yeah. Because when I decide I'm going to do something, I go all in. It's fully committed. Yeah.

There is not a one foot in, one foot out. which is exactly why my relationship with Christ and my faith was so unsuccessful for so long because I had one foot in, one foot out. I was lukewarm. And I don't do anything in my life, lukewarm. I don't do anything in my life, one foot in, one foot out that I actually care about. So when I go into these fitness preps, I dive fully in. Yeah.

I'm all in, which I teach. Peter on the line of all-in and all-consumed. Yeah, I was just thinking those two phrases, because I don't know why that was that you brought that concept up. Jeff Cunningham introduced that to me. Yeah, yeah. And I would argue that these fitness preps all consume me, this they have in the past.

I think I've navigated this Iron Man prep a little bit differently. Yeah, you have, yeah. Oh, something just came up. What was it? Oh, when you said you go all in for everything. I don't know if we're here. talking about this yet. But that was one thing when you were going to this transformation, like those first couple weeks. Do you remember when I was like, hey, you're drinking from a

firehouse? Yeah. Like I had this little, like, need-dric reaction. Like, oh, no, I see him getting all-consumed with this, which, like, if there's anything to be all-consumed with, let it be Jesus and the Bible, like, amazing. I couldn't ask for anything more. But me being your wife and knowing you, I'm like, I don't want this to be like a prep where, this ever fizzles out and he gets burnt out. So I was a little like weary. As weird as that sounds, it's like, why would I ever be weary about you being on fire for God? But you were just going so hard at this pace where you were like, I want to know everything. I want to talk to everyone. And then you kind of enter this phase where you're like, no, this is my solo journey.

You're kind of like blocking out noise and people that want to interject. But at first, I felt that all consumed with this, which was like, I was like, yes, finally. But I was still a little nervous. It's valid. Yeah. Because typically when I dive into something, I burn myself out. Yeah. And I'm like, please.

I don't want this to even be a slow burn. But yeah, I feel like you really paste yourself. Thank you. Yeah. So let's explore that for a little bit. What was it like watching me be saved? It was a crazy time. Like, looking back at it.

Give me a lot of, like, all the details. I don't even know. I think like the biggest moment that I remember because, you know, the Brandon Lake concert, I didn't even really like, you say that that, it sounds like so cheesy. Like, hey, God saved at a Brandon Lake concert. Like, praise God for Brandon Lake.

Let me provide some context first. But for real. Yeah. So you and me. It was you taking the first step. You me and Charlie. Yes. Went to a Brandon Lake.

Which like, I still cannot believe the way this. all happened because I bought these tickets like probably a year ago. Anyway, I just, yeah, thank God for Brandon Lake. So you, me and Charlie went to a Brandon Lake Phil Wickham concert. I've sat in church many Sundays where there's a pastor on stage. It says if you want to, commit your life to Christ right now, put your hand in the air. Yeah. Or come up to the elders afterwards. You know what I do? I always go like this. You peek?

Yep. And I was always like, I ain't put my hand up. I'm like, is you put his hand up? It's like, I'm not putting my hand up. Yeah. And it was something about, I was, I think something at that point in the concert for maybe the weeks leading up to, like something was brewing inside me. And I reached a point this past summer, I would say of hopelessness. Yeah, it made sense given everything that was going on.

This past summer for me was the pinnacle so far of my professional career in many different ways. And I thought reaching those levels of success and accomplishment would bring joy, peace, rest, hope, all of these things. And it just didn't. Yeah. It did the opposite. And I had this realization of, oh, man, like, if this still can't bring joy in it. in happiness and peace, nothing can. Yeah.

So it was brewing in the background. The good old God-shaped hole. Yes. And then we go to this concert. And I can't remember who was on stage. I even remember sitting there. And I was like, hands up. I was loving it.

And I remember just being like, is he uncomfortable right now? I remember feeling those feelings sometimes. I've had that feeling so many times in life. Like at that night before the first loved one event years ago, like listening to Suzanne speak. Like, Suzanne is a force. And like she is just like an amazing woman. And hearing her talk about the Lord.

And I remember just being like, oh, who, who, who I can tell next. It's just going to be so uncomfortable. And then even sometimes in church, I'm like, is he feeling like this is just like all BS? And then even at the concert, I felt that a little bit. Fair. Yeah. But at the concert, someone was on stage. They said, here's your opportunity, commit your life to following Christ, right here tonight.

And something that just spoke to me in that moment. And I said to myself, I'm going to do it. I was looking over at you and Charlie. So I got my family here. I'm going to do it. And what's crazy is we were about to leave the concert that night. And someone Justin who

We met briefly before We met him before We met him multiple times Throughout the years In passing Yeah But we didn't really know each other And

We're about to leave the concert And he finds us and walks up to us And just asks if he can pray over us Before we leave Yeah It was like a 10 minute prayer It was in the middle At the middle

But it was it wasn't The concert was not over Like Brandon and Phil were still up there. And he was praying over us and me and saying things that were just like so personal that no one else would have known

and called me out right where I was for what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear. And I left after that prayer. I was like, what just happened? How did he know what to say? And how did Charlie stay still

through the whole thing. For a 10-minute prayer. Yeah. And I didn't wake up the next morning this new person. But I would say over the next couple of days, it's like God reached down inside of me and flipped this switch. And I could feel the Holy Spirit in me. The Holy Spirit took over my entire body, mind, and soul.

I was reborn. I was not the same person. And it lit me up. For the first time in a long, long, long, long time, I had a fire in me again. And I had joy and peace and rest. And it was crazy what I felt. That's what I felt. But what was like watching that happen?

Yeah, I don't think it really hit me. I don't remember my. about like a couple days after the concert. I know this was all within a week. But, you know, we were going to Napa for your birthday with Joe and Maddie Greer. And I just remember, I remember on the plane, you just, like, you basically, what, you, you wrote something on your stories, like giving your life to Christ. Yeah, I put some of my Instagram story, just like, making it publicly known.

Yes, exactly. I'm committing, like, Paul and Jesus Christ. And I remember in that moment being like, oh, my gosh, like, something, like, not something. the Holy Spirit has overcome him. Like, I've never, like, I, I've had moments like that, but I've never, I think, had, like, an experience like you're having. Like, God really knew what he was doing with you. It's almost like, God, he, obviously, he knows you best.

And he's like, I know if I'm going to make this a lifelong transformation for Nick, like, I think I need to, I think God knows he had to come in, like, hard. He's like, I know, Nick. I know what he responds to. And he's an all-in guy. So I can't just plant seeds with him. Like I need to come in like fast and hard. And it's all I wanted to talk about.

Yeah. So I do feel like God 100% knew the way to start this journey for you. And it was so catered to you, which is like just so beautiful and sweet. But yeah, I remember having you put that post up, I was like, wow, this is crazy. And then I was just excited that we got to spend a whole weekend with Joe and Maddie because they're two believers and I was just so excited for Joe to have the chance to speak into you. And that was like the perfect couple for us to be around like right when that was happening, truly. You love them so much. So that was awesome. So many great, like deep, rich conversations that weekend with them. And then from there, yeah, I think it was just a mix of like, wow, I can't believe this is happening. Like you want to talk about out of body. It was the same for me. Like, Everything was just looking back now because it was months and months ago. Everything, like our sleep was different.

Like, it was consuming our home. Like, it was just, like, I felt it too. So it was just this incredible, incredible thing that could only be ordained by God. But then again, like I mentioned before, I had those emotions of, like, our whole life is changing. This is amazing. But then I also was like, I'm a little nervous. like he's drinking from a fire hose like he's going really hard and fast but i think that you were just like now looking back at it i think you were just matching the pace that got kind of set for you

um so i definitely was like please don't want this be a sober and i don't want this to burn out i like this is all i've been praying for i want this to be forever and then over the past couple months i've really known there's so much confidence that it is so it was a lot of mixed motions and i feel like we were told this a couple times, but it was like, you were on fire. I had definitely moments of like the enemy coming in and attacking me for sure. And I feel like I'm still kind of in that season. Like I've been in a very stressful season for no reason, really. But I do feel like that is where the enemy likes to just come in and pray. Like, oh, your husband, see how close he is to God? Well, I'm going to pull you apart. And like, I remember, do you remember the conversation we had when

you were just like at that point when I'd be like up for three minutes or not? I would be up in the middle of the night going to pee. And that was when you were getting, like, woken up at 3 a.m. every day, and you just go read your Bible. And you'd, like, come in, and I'm, like, peeing, clearly going back to bed. And you're like, hey, just for a second, can I just share with you the scripture? Yeah. And, like, that was so good.

But I remember, like, telling you, like, I feel like you were just becoming so fluent. And you're just really understanding all this. And now I'm, for some reason, questioning everything. And then when you made us watch Passion of the Christ After Nika's birthday party Yeah I remember we were watching on the back porch And it was like 95 degrees and I was sweating

And I mean that movie like I don't know if I can recommend That movie to anybody because it is brutal But I'm just very highly sensitive But what I love about that movie The Passion of Christ is It makes you rise It does sacrifice that like God gave his son and Jesus was crucified in such a brutal way.

And he was sacrificed. He died to forgive all of our sins. Yeah. Such a brutal death that like we cannot take that in vain. Yeah. No, I do think, I didn't sleep for three nights after that movie. And I do think it was necessary for me to see. again it's super

darring but it definitely like makes you feel the weight of it but I just remember while you were like up going up this mountain I was like already up there a little bit but then I feel like for a second

you like almost passed me and I wasn't jealous but I was like what is going on like why am I feeling less like more distant from God and I know that was the enemy, but it is. It's just the reality of it. Like, even when things, like,

even when you get something that you pray for, there's still going to be challenges. Yeah, because this isn't a race to see who's holier. No, not at all. We're all in our own unique journeys and paths and walks with God. Yeah. But what I think it's really important for us to do as a a married couple is to make this journey together. Yeah, for sure. And that's what we're trying to do. Yeah, 100%. I mean, how many times have I put like a devotional on your nightstand?

Or be like, let's read this book together and you just don't. Well, that's the thing is I was, there's so much to cover like in this one conversation. But for the last decade, I've read every book. I've listened to every self-help podcast looking for the answers. And they've gotten me to a certain point but they're these very temporary solutions and fixes. Yeah.

So you have to keep reading the next one and the next one and the next one and they're all tactics. They are all transactional. And I was avoiding the one truth, the one book the entire time, which is right in front of me right now, and that is the Bible.

and everything you ever need, all the answers, the way to live is right here in this truth. I was avoiding this one book. And I think that one of the reasons that I went in, I've gone in so hard, is because they say you are blind but not you see. Imagine if you were physically blind for the first 34 years of your life.

and then when you turn 35, you can finally see for the first time ever. I want to go see everything. I want to see the mountains. I want to see the ocean. I want to see the wilderness. I want to see the animals. I want to see everything.

Because you now have that ability. That's the only way to describe the way my life feels right now is I've been blind and now I see. And I want to see it all. I want to see what I've been missing because I know I've been missing. Grace God for that. Praise God. Yeah. So how would you say that we've been experiencing transformation within our marriage, our home, the way we're parenting, just life as a whole?

I think the biggest story that can paint a picture of how much has changed is just from our anniversary. So like a big, I wouldn't say conflict, but a pain point in our marriage is, and I'm sure a lot of couples can relate to this, is the, you know, the difference in which you celebrate, if that makes sense. So for me, I grew up, everything was celebrated, gifts, food, cards, decorations, like, everything is so big and so fun. So that's my normal. For you, not so much, right? Well, I think we were raised around different experiences in terms of celebrations. Yeah, yeah.

So something that we just learned early on in marriage was, you know, I would decorate the whole kitchen and spend a whole day getting ready for next birthday. And I think it was naive of me to think like, oh, I'm going to get that back. And when, you know, the birthdays and Valentine's Day and stuff would roll around, and I, in the first few years, you know, cards, flowers, all the things. But there was a little law in our marriage where you would just not. you just, I don't even think you'd forget. You just wouldn't because it just didn't feel important to you, which I totally understand that. Yeah. But for me, I mean, I remember like, I remember lots of tears on holidays and occasions just being like, I feel like he forgot about me.

And it's not like GIFs is my love language, but it was just how I was raised. And it's like how I like to show love a lot, just like effort. And so that was a really big pain point for us. And it's always been this like inside joke in her marriage. marriage that I'm a card person and all I need is a card. I don't need gifts. I don't like gifts. I just need words, cards, just the thought, like you thought of me. So our anniversary last week, I just got you a card and I, like I always do, I just wrote a thoughtful now in the card, put it by your running stuff in the laundry room so you would see it in the morning. And I didn't

think of anything. Didn't even think of like this is five, this is a bigger one. Like, whatever. And that morning I woke up and you never come and find me. Like I always just see you in the kitchen. You gave me to the bathroom and you were like, happy anniversary. And you gave me a big kiss and a hug. And you're like, I promise you, I've got two flowers and a card. And I was like, I had this moment. I don't know if I said it right then and there. I don't think I did. I think it was like a few minutes later where I was like, oh my gosh, I don't care. I didn't even think about it, truly. And then I shared that with you a couple minutes later.

And I'm like, you know what's a really cool big growth marriage moment is that I don't care. Like even though you did get me a card, whatever, which did you? So I ordered flowers. Yes, you did. They came there. A week before, I made sure they were scheduled to be delivered. Yeah. There was a card on.

Yeah. I mean, even that card, like you wrote more than you've written in your whole life. So it was amazing. I will say that one. the night before our anniversary I was like I should get another card so she can wake up to a card

even though there was a card on the flowers that was coming later that day and I don't understand why but sometimes when you order flowers they deliver them they you ask for the day they deliver it like that night yeah it was that night

it was late but I thought you know I should have a card for her for when she wakes up so I instacarded three cards, three anniversary cards, just in the event that one was sold out. I ordered three, and then I didn't have enough in my cart for delivery.

Did it add random things? So I added two packs of taco seasoning, Siette taco seasoning mix. So we get the kids down, you're like getting ready for bed. I go out to the front porch where it was delivered. All that was in the bag was the taco seasoning. There's no card.

it's okay. It's okay. Because I just had this moment where I was like, I didn't even think about it. And I didn't, like, just zero emotion. And like a year ago, I would have just been, I think it was last year. I like was getting weepy about it. I'm like, how do you not know? Like four, year seven being together that I just want some words and like thought of. But it just made me really stop and pause. And number one, like, thank God. Because like, how. sweet that he knew. He knew all along. He's like, I will give you what you need eventually. And you do not need worldly things. You don't need cards. You don't need flowers. You don't need gifts and things. Like, I'll give you what you need. And this year he did. And I just feel like that showcases how much our marriage has changed. And it made me think, like, okay, well, why did cards matter to me so much in the past? And I think it was because I don't, I've never been insecure

in our marriage. But I think I might have been a little bit insecure in like, How much does he really think of me with all that he has going on? And that's just not the case anymore. And that's what putting God first and aligning your priorities with what the Bible says, that's how much it can change your marriage. It is absolutely wild. Yeah, it goes back to priority alignment. Yeah.

And correcting if I'm wrong, but you probably felt like you were competing with the business. Yeah. Like competing in terms of my time for many years. Yeah. And I'm very sorry and apologetic about that. Thank God. Thank God for God's grace. I know, but I haven't been the most gracious human ever.

Like, we've had our moments for sure. And I'm sure there's couples right now listening to this that are better in it. And I'll tell you, if you're not aligned, with God's plan for you in your marriage, it ain't going to happen. That's not going to happen. Have you seen any differences in this Iron Man prep them in right now? And in terms of the way that I'm showing up for you and the family compared to others in the past? If you're looking at tangible physical things, no, because you've always, you've never, I think like what people like,

are thinking or that maybe they want me to say is like, oh yeah, like you're getting up in the middle night with Nico and you never used to do that in other preps. Like no, you've actually always done that. Like you've always, you've never done less when it came to parenting or household things or yes, we do less socially when you're in preps. But you've never like showed up less physically and tangibly. Like you've always shown up for us. But as far as like emotionally, like I've never seen you in a prep, and I've never been fully like, okay, if that makes sense. And this time until last night, I have been. Just had a moment, you know. But that's the biggest difference for me. Like, it's nothing physical. Like, you're still getting up with Nico. You're still feeding the dogs.

You're cooking dinner. Like, you're doing bath time. Like, none of that's changed. But it's just, it's like the lightness around you and the joy. That's been the biggest difference. not so much the physical stuff because you've always been very reliable. It's just like now you're like emotionally reliable in a prep. Well, I've learned a lot in this prep. Yeah.

And I've learned that this is this is my last prep for a hot minute. That, that, that. A hot minute. And a lot of what I've learned, I mean, I've learned a lot

these last few months by prioritizing God. And committing my life to following Christ. I've learned a lot in terms of who I am in my identity.

One of the things I want to talk about was this identity crisis that I've had for most of my professional career, especially post-military, where my identity, who Nick Bear was, he's the founder and CEO BPN. He's an entrepreneur. He's an athlete. He does these races.

Nick Baer signs up these preps and documents it. And if he's not performing or striving or competing or training, he doesn't have any value or worth. And my entire identity was rooted in being this performer for everyone but myself and my family. and I no longer feel that. My identity is rooted in following Christ and our family and our marriage and then the other things that I do. And just learning and realizing that

has shifted my whole perspective around what's going to happen the morning after I wake up after Ironman, Arizona, November 17th, and how our life is going to look different moving forward. Yeah. I'm excited. Like I've told you, one of the biggest things I just didn't see coming that was kind of like a side effect of all this or just a result is I feel like I've done a pretty good job.

Like I have my bices too when it comes to striving and performance and busy. busyness for sure. But I feel like I've always been open to, okay, God, what do you have for me? Like, I'm open to whatever. I've done so many different things. And I, I'm grateful that I've been that way, but you haven't been. Like, you've been, like, white-knuckled your own life controlling every single little thing. Because I thought I had to. For sure. And my brain has gone there before. I'm like, oh my gosh like Nick is holding on so tight that he won't even hear God if God put something just so wild and crazy on his heart like that makes me sad because I've had those moments and um it's just life is going to be so much more adventurous for us and I'm just I'm so

excited to see how it unfolds because we are now both living palms up and it's like what do you have for me. Oh, that? Okay, we're going to be obedient. We're going to do what you say. Like, who knows? Who knows? And it makes me sad, people that don't live like that. Because you're only living within your own limitations. And chances are God has something so much bigger. And people don't even know it. And it's just the most, like, overwhelmingly just filled with gratitude feeling, like knowing that you feel that way too because now it's like us and God against this crazy broken world and it's just really cool to it's going to be cool to see how he uses us um with our children with our community I just feel like life's a lot more exciting now yeah I was previously living life based off of Nick's will yeah and now I and we

live life based off of God's will yeah and it's wild to see what happens when you fully surrender your life to Christ. Yeah. And he just paves the path for you. Yeah. It is insane. Like, like lamp to our feet, opening up doors and creating opportunities for where we were trying to get to,

but white neckling trying to get there. And there was so much resistance along the way. And then when we finally just, like you said, palms up, surrender. Yeah. The path became so clear. so fast. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. I'm just so excited we have that for our children too. Like one thing I think the biggest thing for me, just being around godly people and just making what the Bible says, I mean, it's just, it's very black and white. Like, what is right, what is

wrong is very easy to understand when you actually spend time in the Bible. And we've had so many discussions about like how we want to raise Charlie and just like the life I know I can only control so much we can plant as many seasons as we possibly can but I just look back at my I don't want to say childhood because my parents gave me the most beautiful amazing blessed life but you know in that pivotal time that a lot of us go through when your parents kind of let let you go when you go to college like that's where I wish I could just redo everything like high school in college I was not a bad kid at all I was a good kid. I was, if anything, a goody two shoes.

But I could, there was just like so much more. Like, if I would have just been around people that knew God and could point me to the Bible, I'm just like, dang, like, I did so much stuff that was just such a waste. And now it's such a clear path for me, like how I want to. Like, I'm grateful that I was on the path that I was just with, like, drinking in college and partying. And it just, it was all just so empty. and like I see it's cool now to see this, you know, generation coming up. Like so many people are like in college going to Bible studies and small groups.

And like that lights me up. That's why I've gotten involved with our student ministry at church because I'm like, I'm jealous of these kids, that they're making this decision at this age. Like I know we're all going to fall off and on and have our moments and stuff. But the fact that like I sit at the wave nights and I look out into this crowd and I see sixth grade to high schoolers with their hands up, crying on their knees fully like surrendered and understanding and I'm like this is the best thing ever and this is what I want for our children. And it just makes the path so clear of what you say yes to, the people you surround yourself with, the people that you let around your kids,

the things they watch, the things they listen to, like everything like is at the forefront of my mind now. And I'm glad that I had the journey and path that I did because now I can use that to sit down and talk to Charlie like thank God I have a daughter and I can be like hey this is what I did when I went away to a big 10 school I do not want you to do this yeah like I know now I know like what is right and I know the path that God has for you and we're going to do everything we can to make sure that you stay on that path it's just so clear like nothing nothing lights me up more than seeing young people just be fully surrendered like it's the most beautiful thing Well, we used to always have the conversation of how do you raise good kids. Yeah. And I was like, well, here's this. Yeah, we never talked about that. This strategy and here's this tactic.

And now, how do we raise good kids? Just teach them to love the Lord and follow Jesus. Yeah. If they follow Jesus and love the Lord and they go to their secret place to pray and they're in their Bible reading the word. Yeah. they're set up for success. I spent a lot of time recently in the book of Ecclesiastes,

a very humbling book in the Bible. I absolutely love it. But Ecclesiastes Chapter 2, 13, wisdom is better than foolishness, just as light is better than darkness. For the wise can see where they are going, but fools walk in the dark.

The way that you gain wisdom, the way that you gain light is in this book that I'm holding right here. It is the scripture. It is the Bible. It is the truth, the word. So it's teaching our kids, like, what does light look like? And how do you gain knowledge and turn that knowledge into wisdom and live by that wisdom? And the hope is that they make the right decisions based off of,

following him. Yeah. Yeah, there's only so much you can do. And that is a scary part about, like, I think the hardest thing that parents can do is, like, hand over your children to God and be like, okay, you got them right. Like, that's really tough. That's going to be really, really tough. Like, we haven't even entered those years.

But all we can really do is plant seeds. And I feel like now that we're both planting seeds, her odds are going to be a lot better, you know? Yeah. Whereas before, you know, I would, I've been playing with Charlie since she's been born. But now that we both are, it's like she's hearing 50% more. You know, it adds up truly. And it's just been so cool. Like she's really entering an age of soaking things in and understanding and remembering and questioning things.

And she talks about God more now. And she wasn't when it was just me on this journey, you know? So remember that, like how much of an impact you've already had on her. And it just feels really good to just be on the same page with everything. Like, yeah, it's just, it's made all the difference truly in parenting. And I'm just very excited. I feel like we've been given the golden guidebook of how to parent by us, just both being in the word and just being like, this is the truth.

This is the way. This is the only way. It's planting seeds. Yeah. We can't expect our three-year-old daughter to understand. Oh yeah, she's like, who's God? Holy Spirit is not within me. Yeah, you can't expect her to truly understand and be able to rationalize with her,

but it's planting seeds, which kind of brings me to, like, this book that I wanted to talk about, that you read first and then you introduced to me, and I listened to the audiobook this past week. I finished it on my morning runs by Justin Early. It's called Habits of the Household. practicing the story of God in everyday family rhythms. So good. So why do you love it?

I love it because I've read so many habit books. And I've even read like a hunt gather parent, which until I read this book, I really liked hunt gather parent. A hunt gather parent had nothing biblical on it. So looking back, now I'm like, blah, whatever, scrap that. Sounds like a evolutionary. It was, it was.

There are some great points in it, for sure. But this, to me, just feels like a very simple foundation to lay if you want your kids to grow up knowing Jesus. And also, too, it gave me so many tangible things, like for me, in frustrating parenting moments. It was just very, like, the author, it's cool because Justin, he writes this book, and he's fully in it right now. He's got, he's not this, like, 65-year-old guy that's an empty nester. Like, I'm pretty sure he's like in his early 40s and he's got four little boy. So he's like, the beginning was just amazing. And this is what hooked me. He's like, I don't expect you to read this book sitting by a lake or by a bonfire or by yourself with a glass of wine. As I'm writing this book, my kid is scribbling on the page. And one page just got ripped out. Like my life is chaos right now. And I'm like, we're going to click. Because that is chaos right now. That is exactly what we're through. So that level of trust, I feel like, and this book was there right off the bat. And just little things. like, yes, it goes through, like you can see on the cover, like it has all these different subjects, like bedtime, meal times, discipline, conversation, play, work, and it goes through all these

topics of how to incorporate God and what the Bible says into all of those lanes of parenthood. And it does it so beautifully and just, it's so simple. Yeah, the habits of the household are waking, meal times, discipline, screen time, family devotions, marriage, work, play, conversation, bedtime. Yeah, and it was all so realistic. Like, he's not, like, no screens and kids must read their devotional. Like, he is, it's the most real book. And it just, it really taught me loud about myself, too, as a parent.

And also, too, like that, yes, we are parents, but first, we are children of God. and we are still being parented by God. And to have that childlike posture as a parent to see it through that lens, like really, really changed it for me. And just, yeah, I just can't recommend it enough. It was so awesome. We've already implemented a lot of the little rituals and things that he talked about. Just a great, great book that I recommend for all parents.

It's crazy because, like, as I post about it, everyone's like, yeah, I read this book like years ago and it's changed our family's life. I've actually got a lot of responses to me posting about it too. Yeah. Share the story about are you making bread? Oh, yeah. Because it's very applicable to you. It is, yeah.

I always read like the first thing in the morning and I always come out and most of the time I have something to tell you. And I've just been going through a season of life, a challenging one, like just more anxiety and stress for some reason and I just really don't know why. but it happens and there was this part in the book it was in the subject of or in the chapter of play and he was correlating this to playing with your children like getting on the floor and playing with your children but he just in the author was like I have this friend who you know we do like monthly check-ins we just catch up and whenever we catch up this friend always asks me are you

making bread right now and he asks me that question because he knows if I say yes my life is balanced It is peaceful. It is calm. I have the time to spend making bread, which is not a short process. And it's something that you have to do. Like you can't rush through it. You can't skip steps. It's a very intentional thought out process. So if he is making bread, his friend's like, great. I'm glad to hear you're doing well. But if the answer is no, his friend's like, all right, so what's up? Like, why are you unbalanced? Why are things chaotic? How can we fix things? And they came out to you and I'm like, I haven't made bread in so long. months. Yeah, and I feed my starter and I keep her alive, but I haven't made the bread, partially because you've been favorishing the farmer's market bread. But your loaf, your loaf this week was really good. I know, and that was just a beautiful metaphor into like how I'm trying to just like be missed, do less and just slow down again. But I thought that was just so beautiful. And he correlated it to playing with your children. And like we should also, yes, that is, if you make sourdough, that's a great metaphor. But also like, are you playing with

your children. Like, are you sitting on the ground, about your phone, carving out time to play with your children? And if you're not, that means your life is out of balance. You're distracted. And I feel like we always play with our kids. But like, there's a difference between like, sure, I'll have a piece of pizza. Thanks, Charlie. Oh, yeah, let's play doctor. And you're just like laying there like a deadbeat. And then there's a difference of like actually engaging and like being a part of the magic and like making her feel things. And like, like, making her feel like you want to play with her. And I feel like we haven't been doing that lately.

We've been tired. Well, that's one of the reasons I feel guilty about being an Iron Man prep. And why my, just like, my appeal to doing these fitness preps has changed a lot. I don't want fitness to be this thing where it's where I spend all of my mental and physical energy. And that's what Iron Man prep is. unfortunately I'm in it right now there's 23 days left

of this prep you know it is what it is we're gonna finish strong we're gonna finish strong we're gonna finish well but when I'm training three and a half

four hours a day and I come home and the kids want to play I play you do yeah but like am I fully physically

and mentally there you want to play exactly yeah and the answer is no and that's very disappointing yeah

in myself. But the same time, though, I don't want to play sometimes, too. And that is, like, I get what you're saying. But, like, this book also said this, which is amazing. Like, you cannot play with your children all day, right? Like, no parent wants to play Barbies all day. So it's, it's okay to not want to play all the time, but to have those, like, at least a few moments every day where it's, like, magical, like, stepping into the little magic. Like, Charlie is living in a magical world right now. So I think the important thing is, though, that you do play. I do play.

Yeah. But I want to be able to play better. Yeah, and me too. And I am not training for an Iron Man. So a lot of the times I'm like, what's my excuse? But for me, it's like, and we've had so many talks lately. I have to make some changes in my life for sure. But I, every, all my stress and craziness in life is self-imposed.

Like I'm very blessed. I'm very, very lucky. I don't need to work. I like to work and I like to have projects and passions. But I have had this realization that I'm making myself tired and exhausted for no reason, really. And it's been impacting my health. It's been impacting everything. So for me to slow down is really important because I'm not training for an Iron Man and I feel those things too. No parent is like perfect and it's like playing dress up every day all day. am fully loving it. But I am excited for us to get to the point where we genuinely can just be present in those moments. Because I think we've said the last few weeks, we're like, the rhythm's off. We're distracted. There's going to be seasons like this. But I think the most important thing is that we're

aware of it. And we know what to lean on to get out of it. I mean, that's one of the reasons I love the book of Ecclesiasty so much. It's all about like toiling. Toiling under the sun. Yeah. And chapter 3, verse 12, says, I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all their toil. This is the gift of God.

I know that everything God does will endure forever. Nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so people will fear him. Yeah. You know, I actually just got a DM. See how you would respond to this. I shared that post that you shared by John Bevere this morning. That thought was great.

Which was amazing. So good. But this, I don't know who it was, and I haven't responded yet because I really want to think about it. But this person responded and was like, but why is the word fear used? Like, why can't it be honor or respect? Like, this makes it feel like you're bowing down to this authority. We are bowing down. I know.

And I'm just trying. I know. It just feels so submissive. And I'm like. It is. Well, but I do think people get confused with that word. For sure. There's a difference between this.

I struggled with this initially too. Yeah. The All of God by John Mavir will clear it all up for you, by the way. The All of God by John Bavir is such a great book. Yeah. There's a difference between being afraid of God and having the fear of God. Being afraid of God, being afraid of God, being afraid of the Lord, is being afraid of what he's going to ask you to do. If you fully commit your life to following Christ and God says, I want you to move to Africa and do ministry work, I don't want to fully commit because I'm afraid he's going to ask me to do that.

The fear of God is, I don't want to lose that fire. I don't want to lose his presence. I want to be, I bow down to him. He is the king of kings, the Lord of Lords. Yes, he is the authority. Yeah, I also think too, like people can think about it like, oh, well, this is the wrong way to interpret it. But the fear of God is in like, if I sin, I'm going to be punished. If I'm going to like get cancer if I sin or someone that I love is going to die if I sin.

Like, I'm scared. Like, and it's like, that's a weird one, but I've heard that a lot from people. Like that isn't it at all. You're right. It's just being like, wow, look at all these beautiful things that he created. look at everything he's given me the least I can do for, you know, what he sent his son and what his son did for us is abide and be obedient to what he calls us to do. Because like for me, the fear of God is, I don't want to miss one thing that he's going to do in

our life. So why wouldn't I do everything he asks us to and live by the Bible? That's the only way you're going to see the fruit of that. I fear not having him. Yeah. I've seen the other side of not having him. Yeah. I fear going back to that.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, I think from habits of the household, one of my favorite parts that was an eye-opener, kind of all centered around community. I think community is so important. And he broke down the difference between entertaining and hospitality. One of the things that I think we both want to do more of is hosting again.

When I'm in these fitness preps, we don't do much hosting. because I prioritize my sleep and my diet and training. And honestly, I just don't have the energy to do it. Which I hate about that. But when you entertain, it's like you're putting on. But having hospitality and hosting, it's like come into our home and spend time with us. And that's what we want to do.

In the past, I think what we've done is someone will Texas, saying, hey, I'm going to swing by real quick. Yeah. It's all hands on deck. Hide the kids' toys, light a candle, vacuum. Can you think of a recent experience we had with someone who was hospital? It's when we were in Nashville? Yeah.

Yeah. And we stopped at the RAD's house. Yep. Toys everywhere. Like, kids everywhere. They didn't, like, we told them we were stopping by. They didn't clean up. Nope. They didn't move things around.

Come on in. Just come on in. And like, I sold that and I was like, wow. Yeah, this is where we need to get to. Yep. Yeah. So the way he breaks down in the book, entertaining guests is when you clean everything.

Make up nice plates of food and batches of drinks and maybe get a sitter for the kids. At best, entertaining is where we honor our guests by offering an experience of comfort and beauty. At worst, entertaining is where we honor. ourselves by showing off what we can pull off. In any case, hospitality is different. Hospitality is simply opening the door. Hospitality is welcoming someone into the unbarnished mess. It is inviting someone into the chaos because that's where a real family happens. We could take a page out of that book and be better at hosting and hospitality as opposed to entertaining. Well, I think of, I just thought of both for our moms. And this isn't to dog either mom because I've learned like I do. I love

entertaining. I do. And I think there is a time for entertaining, right? Like I just hosted a baby shower and I pulled out all the stops for that. Like that is a time to put all the effort in, make sure everything is beautiful and whatever. But you were honoring Allison. Yeah. In that, in that, uh, intention of entertaining. Yes. Which is good. Yeah. Right. But I just, when you were saying all that, I was thinking about how I grew up and like my mom, my grandma, everyone was like, you know, if you've seen like the Instagram video, it's like, make your bed, you haven't made it yet, just throw out the bed, we don't have time. Like, that's how my mom was. Like, that's okay. And that's kind of how I am. Yeah. And even just like being at Dee Dee's house, like you just

mentioned, like, they're like the warmest hug of people ever. And yeah, I was like, wow, I do need to like care less for sure. And I'm not saying like the way my mom was, isn't the way I want to be because, like, I have learned so much from her. And I, every experience she curated for our family and friends was such a gift. But I want to be a good mix of both, right? Like, I also want to be, I want Charlie to see me, like, sweaty from a workout. And, like, neighbors run over and be like, come on in. Yeah. Come on. Just come on in. Who cares? You know what the thing is, too? Like, I don't even want to have to say, like, excuse the mess. Maybe, maybe, whatever. But, like, I shouldn't have to. But then I think about your mom.

And while I really only got to see your mom host once or twice, I feel like your mom was more of like a come on in type of woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't really clean up when people are coming over. Yeah. Like I envy that. That's awesome.

There is a difference between being careless and caring less. Yes. I love that. And you mentioned care less. And I think caring less can be important. in that context. Yeah. But it doesn't have to mean careless.

For sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big difference. So the future where we're heading, it's actually biblical. It's called sanctification. Yeah. And I'm going to read this off.

What sanctification is. The process of being made holy or set apart for God's purposes. It involves being separated from sin and being transformed to become more like Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. The process is considered to begin at the moment of salvation and is a lifelong journey. So we're on a lifelong journey now of being set apart for God's purposes and that will guide everything we do into the future, which is super exciting because we don't know where it's going to take us, what God has planned for us, but we know.

it's going to be absolutely amazing because we are following his will. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I said, it's about to get a whole lot more adventurous and pun for us and everyone around us. And that's just how I want to live my life. Yeah, exactly. Well, we've experienced absolute transformation. Yeah. Oh, can I say one more thing? Yes. So if I was thinking about us in my way here too. if your spouse isn't a believer send this to them because chances are like you heard from Nick earlier in this podcast it's probably not going to work but what I do want to speak into and who I want to encourage is if you are a husband or a wife and you're listening to this and you're like that you know how Nick and stuff were that sounds a lot like where I am right now I just want

to encourage you to stay the path and not even just stay the path but like like, bunker down and make it your mission to get as close as you can to God and just don't stop praying about it because I'm not going to say, like, I never thought Nick could get here because I never had that thought, but if you feel that way, like, I promise you, like, I hope this whole conversation just encourages you. Like, it is going to happen in the timing you may not be able to control, but all you can do is plant seeds, stay in the word, don't make your love for God in the way you praise him and don't make it smaller, like make it bigger, and just be so confident and proud in it, and it will happen because I feel like I did do that. I did kind of

minimize a little bit. Like I stayed in a little box. And it's cool to see you being with me now on this journey, us together, like, there is no box anymore, which is really cool. So I've just, I've gotten so many DMs from people being like, my husband isn't there yet or my wife's not there yet. And I feel for those people like so much. And it's, it's a hard thing to go through, especially if like you have a spouse who isn't willing to go to church, if they're totally closed off to God. But my only advice for people is to just don't stay in the box and just like pray. Don't stop praying. Tell people close to you to pray about it. Like there's so much power in that and just don't go backwards. Just keep being bold. Yeah. Romans 12 too. Do not conform to the pattern of

this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. I share that because since being more bold and public with my faith, there's been a lot of people who have said, hey, I follow you for fitness information. You're a fitness platform. Stick to what I follow you for. Yeah. It's been, yep. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. My mind has been renewed. I am a new person. I've been reborn. God is priority.

then marriage, family, then everything else. So when it comes to what I'm going to share, this can be in that list of priorities. Yeah. God, marriage, family, than everything else. Well, that was a great conversation. It was good, yeah. I hope it helps people.

Yeah. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me. Well, until next time, we'll see you guys.