The Nick Bare Podcast - 168: Why I've Changed My Mind About Chasing Success

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

I’ve changed the way I think about success. I don’t see it as a finish line anymore, but as a pursuit rooted in purpose, obedience, and who I’m becoming along the way. In this episode, I reflect on failure, legacy, faith, and why chasing money, status, or approval will always leave you empty if the mission behind your work isn’t clear.CHAPTERS:00:00 Why This Matters02:40 Success Is a Pursuit06:28 Stop Being Impressed09:04 Character Over Strategy13:15 Mission Not Milestones17:29 Hard Work Without Hustle22:28 Heath Evans Wake Up Call28:41 Legacy for My Kids32:57 Ecclesiastes Chasing Wind35:33 Rest Without Guilt40:07 Envy Drives the Grind41:28 Final Charge Purposeful WorkORDER MY BOOK HERE: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Go-One-More-Intentional-Life-Changing/dp/1637746210FOLLOW:Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 25% off FOR LIFE ⁠https://www.bareperformancenutrition.com/collections/performance-nutritionIG: ⁠instagram.com/nickbarefitness/⁠YT: ⁠youtube.com/@nickbarefitnessThis podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal [health or profession] advice. Bare Performance Nutrition (BPN) is not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.This podcast may not be republished without the written consent of Bare Performance Nutrition (BPN)

everyone and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's episode is all about why I've changed my mind about chasing, not pursuing chasing success. And to be honest, I feel a lot of weight around this topic. I feel a huge responsibility to really deliver on this one because I believe it is very, very important. So I'm a little intimidated, to be honest, about this conversation that I'm about to have with you guys, because I want to make sure that it just comes across in the way that I intend to and that all of these thoughts that have been circulating my mind for the last year plus can be articulated in a way that is clear, it makes sense,

and it hits right where I intend to. And I just want to share that because this is a really important topic to me. This is something I struggled with for a long time. And to be honest, as I spend time with team members, employees, athletes, friends, peers, people in the space and industry, I have observed that a lot of people struggle with chasing success and chasing success for the wrong reasons that leave you empty, unfulfilled, wanting and needing more and more and more,

and it is this endless chase for the wind, something that is fleeting, something that is intangible, something that comes and goes over and over and over again. I see this in a lot of not just younger people, people my age, people older than me. And I don't say that I have it all figured out, but I've learned a lot in my short 35 years of life so far. And as I was planning out this conversation,

I wrote down this quote that I'll share with you. That's inspired by some people, entrepreneurs, leaders, speakers that I'll be referencing. But the quote is that success is a purposeful pursuit, not driven by the carrot, but by the character refining failures. A few notes here. Purposeful pursuit. Success is a purposeful pursuit. It is not a finish line. It is not an end goal.

It is not a milestone. It is a pursuit. Always ongoing. Success is a purposeful pursuit. Not driven by the carrot. I use the word carrot because I think of someone who is running and there is a vehicle in front of them and they're dangling this carrot that has the person running chasing the carrot. but the person driving can speed up and slow down to keep the person running forever.

You're chasing this thing you'll never get, not driven by the carrot, but by the character refining failures. We are on this purposeful pursuit, on a mission, pursuing failure, because we know failure defines character and character produces endurance to keep going

for a long period of time success is a purposeful pursuit not driven by the carrot but by the character refining failures I don't want this episode to come across as me preaching to you guys

that's not the intent It is me sharing what I have learned in my lifetime up until this point. I'll turn 36 years old this coming summer in August, August 1st, 2026, I'll turn 36 years old. I'm very grateful and appreciative for what I've learned in my 35 years up until this point. But every year, every quarter, Every day it feels like I'm learning so much. I'm being humbled, significantly being humbled,

making me feel smaller to really gain wisdom and knowledge, and understanding of what really matters and what really doesn't. I spent most of my life up until this point, like 90% of it, building, and accumulating on this mission to build and accumulate a resume, accomplishments, money, wealth, success to come to realize that none of it really matters that much in the grand scheme of things.

And I've also realized that living a life to try to be impressive is meaningless. I was having a conversation with one of my mentors last week. And one of the things he told me is that he is no longer impressed by other people. Because we're all weak on our own. We're all sinners. We all have problems. We're all trying to figure it out.

We will never have arrived fully. So to put someone else on a pedestal, and view them as impressive, not knowing their true character sometimes, their flaws, their mistakes, their weaknesses. That puts a lot of power in that individual in your eyes. So I've come to the realization through what I've learned over my lifetime and talking to people who mentor me on a regular basis and experience. failures and successes is that I don't look at other people as impressive anymore. And that's not in a way of putting me above others. It's just I've learned and realized that it's useless and meaningless to idolize other people,

not knowing the true intent character and drive behind their work, actions their being. So in a sense, we should also stop trying to be impressive to other people. If I think of why I've done certain things over the course of my lifetime, it is to be impressive, to be relevant, to be known, to be idolized, and praised. But how would your work change? How would your pursuit change if you were no longer. driven by trying to be impressive to others around you. So it's a hard conversation. It's a deep question,

but I challenge you to challenge yourself, why are you doing certain things? And is it to be impressive to others? So last week, I was in my Bible. And the Bible that I read is the John Maxwell Leadership Bible. And I really enjoyed this Bible because throughout scripture, he has excerpts and sections that relate the teachings in the Bible to leadership principles. There's some really good key takeaways. And last week I was in Deuteronomy and there was a section added in there that quoted General Norman Schwarzkopf. His last name is a mouthful.

It's S-C-H-W-A-R-Z-K-O-P-F, General Norman Schwarzkoff. And the quote is, leadership is a potent combination of character and strategy. But if you must be without one, be without strategy. Leadership is a potent combination of character and strategy. But if you must be without one, be without strategy. That's how meaningful character is. Character development. This past week, it just so happened that John Maxwell was speaking at our church, Celebration Church.

And I mean, John Maxwell is such a wise man. He is one of the best to teach in terms of leadership. And there was a faith foundation, there's a faith component as a Christian to his leadership principles. Just really good stuff. And he came to speak this past Sunday. And as I watched him walk up on stage, I mean, you could, you could feel his presence. It was incredible. You could feel the wisdom in this man.

you could feel just being around him the experience that he brought the lessons that he has learned over decades of leadership and as he walked on sage you mean you could just feel it the energy shifted in the room which i haven't been in many places before where that has happened and i was taking notes in my phone and the first note i took was on that and step leaned over she's like, what did you just write? I said, you can feel the wisdom that this man brings. And his whole sermon was all about the valuable lessons around failing. Small failures, big failures.

But these failures being character defining, just as General Norman Schwarzkopf, said, if you must be without one, be without strategy because character is that important. And one of the ways that we refined character over years and years and years and years is not through success, it is through failure. That's what drove that quote that I shared in the beginning this conversation. Success is a purposeful pursuit, not driven by the character refining failures. Our character is rarely refined by success in wins, but it is more frequently refined and defined by our failures.

This was the foundation of what John Maxwell was speaking about at Celebration Church this past week. And some notes that I took away from his teaching was that we have to pursue a mission in life, not success. There have been many years of my life where I have been driven by success, numbers, money, accumulation, a resume. And it was very unfulfilling.

It was very fleeting. But when I've pursued a mission, that fills my cup. That responsibility feels much heavier. It's weighty. It's important. It is like, legacy. It is legacy. One of the things he spoke about this past weekend was the importance of

keeping success and failure together. Because when we keep success and failure together, not separated, it helps us value failure. He said that, remember, when you lose, you don't have to lose the lesson. There are lessons learned through failure. And he was talking about how by grace, by God's grace, we oftentimes get a second chance. And I was thinking about this a lot. You know, there are a lot of opportunities and moments to fail in life. And there will be many moments in my future that I will fail as well.

And by grace, I get a second chance. But we have to make the decision and choice to go for that second chance. Because if we don't try, we don't actually believe that we can do it better than the way that we did it before. Failure develops character.

And the greater the risk, the greater the return. When there is a risk and that risk involves other people, that risk is greater. Then when we fail and it only affects ourselves and our personal interests. John Maxwell was also talking about the difference between a divine comeback and a personal comeback.

A divine comeback is a spiritual restoration where God intervenes to turn setbacks into success. Often bringing greater blessings than before, a personal comeback is a self-driven internal process of rebuilding, resilience, and personal growth after hardships. both aimed to overcome adversity, but divine relies on faith while personal relies on willpower. With all that being shared, what I'm trying to get across here is I used to view success as financial targets, milestones, accumulation of things.

But I've come to realize and learn that success is a mission of a purposeful pursuit. As my mind has changed about chasing success, I'll be very clear, I don't value hard work any less. And this is the hardest part to understand, comprehend, and put into practice. as I've had this conversation with a lot of people

and I struggle with myself. How do we put success into a perspective that is a purposeful pursuit but still be really ambitious and driven to go after these big goals that we have? How do you balance those two? And I don't have all the answers to it. I'm still trying to figure it out.

But if you're asking those questions, you're on the path. You're on the path. to finding the answers, to gaining the wisdom. I value hard work so much, so much. I appreciate hard work. I believe in hard work. I've seen what hard work has done for my life.

I've seen what hard work has done for other people's lives. I grew up surrounded by hard work. Both sides of my family were very hard workers driven on a purposeful pursuit. it's not the what that I'm questioning, but the how and why that I am, and I think we should be. This for me puts it into perspective. Hard work is and should be purposeful.

It is not punishment. Hard work is not punishment. It doesn't have to be punishment. This is why I think hustle culture is dying and should die. Hustle culture the lifestyle of grinding, it is put on this pedestal as a punishment, as opposed to being purposeful. Hard work is a calling on every one of us to steward our talents well and serve others appropriately.

Large goals, ambitious missions, and failed attempts they forge characters. Character is not redefined by easy work. You can't accept this massive goal, this ambitious target that is purposeful in pursuit and then not try to go do it and learn something from it. Your character isn't defined or refined in the easy work. Your character is built. It is forged when you set these. massive targets and you work really, really hard to go chase them down and then you fail.

You fail and you learn. And then you get a second chance and you work even harder to go back again and to succeed. That is how we improve. That is how we get better. That is how we steward our skills. We steward our talents and we serve others on a purposeful pursuit. it's not a punishment. I think we have to stop viewing hard work as a sacrifice and a punishment.

It is purposeful. That is one of the biggest mindset shifts that I've had in terms of the way that I view pursuing or chasing success. Chasing success before was a punishment. It was, I'm going to put my head down and work and suffer and suck just to get, the carrot at the other end. And then realizing that once you get the carrot, you have to go chase the second carrot and the third carrot and the fourth carrot

because that carrot doesn't bring the fulfillment and joy that you were hoping for or wanting. It is his endless journey. It is a chase after wind. One of my favorite people to follow online is Heath Evans. I'm going to have Heath Evans.

on the podcast in the next couple of weeks. We've been talking back and forth. He's an NFL vet then gave his life to Christ, was saved, and the good news that he shares on his platforms online is so wise and insightful and just powerful and humbling. And he had this post the other day. We transcribed it, and I'm going to read it to you guys

and it's so powerful and it hit me so hard which sparked the want and need to record this episode. I'm going to read it and it's going to set the stage for what we're going to talk about next. Heath Evans and the guy brings so much passion

to the message that he delivered. There's so much passion. You can see it behind his eyes. You can hear it in his voice. Grind harder. Stack more. Sleep less.

Hustle until you drop. That's the false gospel of every motivational page you follow. And it's a lie straight from the pit of hell. You're not building an empire. You're building an idol. And the thing that you're killing yourself to get, God says, is already gone. Here's your proverb a day.

Keeps the stupid away. Proverbs 23, 4 and 5. Do not toil to acquire wealth. Be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone. For suddenly it sprouts wings like an eagle flying towards heaven. 2026 translation. Stop killing yourself for money that's already leaving.

That bag you're chasing has wings and it will fly away faster than you ever earned it. Did you catch that proverb? God didn't say that wealth is evil. Wealth is not evil. He said the obsession with it is stupid. You're grinding 80 hours a week, missing dinner with your kids, neglecting your wife,

skipping prayer, skipping time in the word. All this stack paper that scripture says is going to sprout wings and fly away, you're sacrificing the eternal for something that was never meant to stay. I've been a man who thought more money meant more peace and more success would give me more significance and more hustle

would give me more self-worth. But God broke that idol in me, not by giving me less, but by showing me that everything I was chasing was never meant to satisfy what only Christ can fill. So let me ask you something, men. What is your grind actually costing you? Your health, your marriage,

your relationship with your kids, your walk with God. Because if you're gaining the world, but your soul is starving, that's not winning. That's the most expensive L you're ever going to take. You've got men out here who can close the business deal in their sleep, but they can't lead their family in prayer.

Men who can build a business from nothing, but they can't muster up one word of encouragement for their wife. men who hustle all day for a boss but won't open God's word for five minutes for the king of glory. That is not strength. That is slavery with a salary. Men, be discerning. Be discerning enough to stop. Don't be lazy.

Be discerning. No one that grind has become your God. No one provision has turned into a person. obsession. Don't be lazy. Be discerning. You can work hard and still be discerning. I highly recommend go follow Heath Evans. The man is wise. And there's so many people in this world who have succeeded significantly to come to realize that they've been chasing the wrong thing for a long time and something has to change to actually feel fulfilled and at peace and rest and full of joy. It's not one of the other. That's what I'm going to get across in this.

It's not you either work hard and succeed and you're unhappy and unfulfilled or you don't work hard and you aren't successful and you lose, but you are fulfilled and joyful and happy. It's not one of the other. That's what I've come to learn in this last year. And that's why I feel so called and responsible to share. Because I meet a lot of people, especially men, especially guys. That's just who's in my circle who are chasing. One thing after the next, after the next, after the next, after the next.

after the next. And it's not only a purposeful pursuit, but it's because the grind is their idol. The grind, which is a punishment, is their God. And I think that a lot of what has shifted my perspective and narrative around chasing success has been starting a family and putting more time into my marriage and raising children.

What drives my content, what drives the messages that I share if I think, like, why am I talking about certain things? I want to leave a legacy for my kids that they can go back and watch and listen to and learn from. That teaches them the lessons that I've learned in my lifetime so that they don't make the same mistakes that I made. They avoid some failures through my lessons. and they approach life differently. At the end of the day, that is why I share these messages.

Yeah, I want you guys to benefit, but I want my kids to have these legacy pieces that set them on the right path that follows the truth, that doesn't leave them chasing something that is fleeting. I want my kids to work really hard. I want them to live a life that is on this purposeful pursuit to change the world, change people's lives, do good in society within their community. I want my kids to work really hard to do really meaningful work.

But for me, I will have failed as a leader and as a father and as a family man if my kids, pursue this life of chasing success for all the wrong reasons. That for me will hurt really bad. I will view myself as a failure and an unintentional father if my kids don't understand these lessons that I've learned in my now 35 years of life. We live in a world where the lost are leading the lost, It's cyclical in nature due to ignorance and lack of wisdom.

We have the lost leading the lost. We have to break that cycle. I can't lead or disciple my children if I myself am not being disciples. We can't do it on our own. Deuteronomy 8.5, know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son so the Lord your God disciplines you. I can't lead my children.

I can't disciple my children if I am not being disciplined and disciplined and disciples myself. That's my personal responsibility. I have to be led by God so I can lead my children to pursue a purposeful mission in life that is driven by the right things

for the right reasons. If you haven't spent much time in the book of Eccle, I highly recommend it. It is a humbling read, a very insightful read, but also a pessimistic read with an optimistic perspective, I guess you could say. The question that people ask all the time is how do you work hard and pursue your goals while simultaneously experiencing rest and peace.

As I've shared, that's probably going to be a question that I ask myself for a long time. Ecclesiastes 4-6. Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Within ecclesiastes, there's a lot of reference to chasing after the wind, which we're replaced with chasing after success. The wind, just like success, just like money, just like things, it is a metaphor for meaningless in temporary human pursuits that lack eternal significance. World achievements, like wealth,

pleasure and wisdom are intangible, fleeting, and impossible to truly grasp. Just as you can't catch or hold the wind, you cannot find lasting satisfaction in material accomplishments. Life under the sun is repetitive and transitory. Success are short-lived. Go spend some time in ecclesiastes, and it will humble you. It will shift your perspective on all that is meaningless, but not in the absence of a purposeful pursuit. One of the things I struggled with for a long time

that I was just having a conversation with someone yesterday about that they are also struggling with is the guilt that is associated with, with rest, recovery, and enjoyment. I talked about this before, but I used to be a horrible person to vacation with, or even weekends. Like, Steph can attest to this. When I used to go on vacations, family vacations, I was a miserable person because I felt guilty that I wasn't working.

I felt guilty that I wasn't training twice a day. I felt guilty because I wasn't perfectly, hitting my nutrition plan and all my macros for every single meal of the day. There was a lot of guilt that I carried going into vacation. Same with weekends. Come Saturday morning till Sunday night, I was angry because I wasn't working. I felt guilty that I had rest in recovery and enjoyment.

because I viewed hard work as punishment and that punishment necessary to succeed and succeed in success being the only thing that mattered in life that was this chase after the wind. And I was just talking to someone about this yesterday, a good friend that I'm now mentoring. And he also struggles with the ability to rest, and celebrate wins and take time off from work.

There's this huge guilt that just weighs on his shoulders. And I encouraged him to, like, one, go celebrate the wins that he's experienced his last couple years because he had a bunch of wins personally and professionally. And go take your significant other on. a vacation, rest, recover, and try to do this without feeling guilty. And I will work with you through that journey. I used to hold on to my life with just like the tightest fists ever, white knuckling everything, trying to control every moment of the day, every moment of the week, everything I was doing because I wanted to be in control. I wanted to be God.

I wanted to be the God of my life. And I eventually realized I can't do this all my own. I can't white knuckle my way through life. I could probably do it and accomplish the things that I want to, but at what cost? Being burnout, exhausted, resentful,

angry, irritable, that's where I found myself. And I've come to learn and realize that As crazy as it sounds, rest is important. Recovery is important. Being able to enjoy the moments where we're not working is absolutely critical and important.

But we're chasing success. We're chasing the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. For so many of us, we can't appreciate the downtime. because it's not punishing to us. And we thrive in punishment because punishment is hard work. And hard work is what leads to success. And success is what we hope leads to fulfillment and enjoyment. And it doesn't.

And then we're on this hamster wheel of chasing after the wind. Something that is meaningless, lacks eternal significance, and is of the world. Ecclesiastes 4-4 And I saw that all toil And all achievements spring from one person's envy of another This too is meaningless A chasing after the wind

Are we toiling And are we wanting and trying to achieve Not for a purposeful pursuit But because we have envy Of what someone else has a bigger house a faster marathon time better abs

a happier marriage more money in the bank a newer car all these things is that's what drives our toil and our chase is the envy of

what someone else has and if so all that work is meaningless It's chasing after the wind. Success is a purposeful pursuit not driven by the carrot, but by the character refining failures. Be on a purposeful pursuit. Work really hard.

Work really hard. And fail. Because that failure is going to refine our character and put us on a path that is fulfilling that is meaningful and that is successful but in terms that we define it not the world