The Nick Bare Podcast - 181: Don't Feel Bad For Being Tired. Be Grateful.

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

I'm tired right now and I mean that as a blessing, not a complaint. In this solo episode, I'm breaking down why exhaustion is a signal, not a sign to stop, the three types of tired people, and how to flip your mindset when life is full and hard.CHAPTERS:00:00 Intro01:27 This season of life03:44 Mindset shift12:15 Leadership is behavioral change21:15 The habit that creates avoidable exhaustion27:15 Tired is not a sign to stop34:31 Managing your 24 hours37:25 The 3 types of tired43:28 Boys vs. Men46:41 Go One MoreORDER MY BOOK HERE: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Go-One-More-Intentional-Life-Changing/dp/1637746210FOLLOW:Become a BPN member FOR FREE - Unlock 25% off FOR LIFE ⁠https://www.bareperformancenutrition.com/collections/performance-nutritionIG: ⁠instagram.com/nickbarefitness/⁠YT: ⁠youtube.com/@nickbarefitnessThis podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal [health or profession] advice. Bare Performance Nutrition (BPN) is not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.This podcast may not be republished without the written consent of Bare Performance Nutrition (BPN)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today's episode is titled, Don't Feel Bad for Being Tired. Be Grateful. I shared this message on my Instagram a few days ago. I was mid-run. I was wrapping up a morning six-mile run, part of my morning routine every morning. alarm clock goes off 5 a.m. I slug my fuel, GUNM Sport, GUNM Sport Plus. I stand in front of the red light panel and by 5.30 a.m. 30 minutes after waking up, shoes are laced up. Sona is preheating and I am running. And as I was wrapping up my six mile run, I was thinking about this topic.

It was front of mind for the entire run. And I pulled my phone out and I just recorded a clip of me talking about it and I posted it and it connected with a lot of people. Don't feel bad for being tired. Be grateful. What sparked this thought? What sparked this idea? You know, right now, me and my wife, Steph, we are in. been a crazy, busy, chaotic season of life.

I'm a husband. I'm a father to two young kids. My daughter's going to be four years old this summer here in a few weeks. My son's going to be two years old this summer here in a few weeks. I'll be 36 years old this summer here in a few weeks. me and my kids' birthdays are all within a month of each other. I'm a business owner. I'm a founder of an organization,

a leader of 45 people within this building, this organization. I love the train. I'm an athlete. I'm a son of God. I'm committed to, to a lot of things, a lot of people. I'm responsible for a lot of things, a lot of people.

And I feel that weight. I feel that responsibility. And I'm tired right now. That's the truth. In this phase of life, I am tired. They are long days. They are early mornings and they are late nights. And what sparked this, this thought initially was I was sitting in the sauna one night,

which Steph and I typically do after we get the kids down for bed, sit in the sauna, first breather of the day, first silence of the day, and just let my shoulders kind of sink in a little bit, feeling the heat around me, dropping some water on the rocks to increase the humidity. And I thought to myself, this is an exhausting phase of life.

And I say this in all honesty. it is really hard being a committed and dedicated family man, husband, father, ambitious, career-driven individual, but it is so fulfilling. I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't want to be rested in this phase of life. I want to be tired. I'm asking for more tired. And I'm mean that. So when I say and I tell you, I'm tired right now, I'm exhausted. That is not a complaint. I'm going to be very clear. That is not a complaint. It is a reality. I'm going to lean in to that. I'm going to embrace that. Some of you guys can can resonate or relate to what I'm talking about. You might be in a similar season of life where you wake up early to have a few hours to yourself,

to get your training in, to prepare for the day. And then you're getting the kids ready and you're spending time with a family and then you go to work and you work really, really hard. And then maybe you find some time to get a second training session in in that day before coming home and getting dinner prepped and playing with. with the kids and being with a family to then start bedtime routines and bath time and then having a few minutes or hours maybe to yourself or with your partner or significant other your husband, your wife and then going to sleep after preparing for the next day to do it all over again in a few hours. If that's you, I see. I see. see you. I feel it. I feel what you're going through. But I see you. And my message here is if you're tired,

just like Jocka would say, I'm not going to try to take credit for this one, Jocko would say, good. Are you tired? Yeah, I'm tired. Good. That's good. Me too. So let's keep going. Let's keep leaning in. Rather than feeling bad for being tired or resenting the exhaustion, flip it on its head. Be grateful. Be grateful. Now, I found myself before, at the end of the day, and I share all this with you, because, I have at periods in my life, especially over these last four years since becoming a dad, I have found myself in low moments or periods of time where I have been mad at myself or the circumstances and the situation for being tired, for being exhausted.

I have resented the exhaustion that I have experienced. You know, sometimes when you're in it, you want the complete opposite. Not an opposite life, but an opposite feeling. Sometimes when you're extremely tired and exhausted, you just want rest. And then sometimes when I have rest, I don't want the rest. I want the tired. I want the exhausted. Because it is fulfilling.

It does feel accomplishing. When I call to action, what I would ask you guys to embrace, as I am trying to embrace myself is rather than feeling bad about being tired or resenting the exhaustion, be grateful. Be grateful that your life is full, your schedule is full, your heart is full, your relationships are full, your 24 hours are full because that is responsibility that you get to, you have the opportunity and responsibility to steward appropriately. Not everyone has provided that responsibility. Be grateful to have that responsibility, that obligation,

to go and steward properly. I found myself before asking myself at the end of a long day, man, why am I so tired? What do I need to change? What's wrong? What do I need to fix? How do I avoid being tired? How do I fix being tired? How do I fix exhaustion? And the answer is nothing is wrong. Nothing needs fixed. Everything is right. Lean in, embrace the season,

double down, stay focused, and get really good at saying no to things that don't actually matter. What I want you to hear in this is if you're in a busy season of life and you're tired, good. Embrace it. Truly. Embrace it. That small mindset shift, that tiny adjustment in your perception of the way you approach being tired and exhaustion changes everything. not in days, not in weeks in seconds. When you truly accept it, when you truly embrace and accept that being tired is good,

it will change everything. Now, I'm not here to tell you to burn yourself out, to run yourself into the ground, to take on irresponsible amounts of responsibility, or pursue too many opportunities, and distractions. That's not what I'm saying at all by any means. I'm not saying go do as much as possible, run yourself into the ground,

take on more, more, more, more, so you can unintentionally be tired and be exhausted just for the sake of being tired and exhausted. If being tired and exhausted is a byproduct of stewarding your responsibilities and obligations and owning it, and showing up for your priorities as a byproduct, if you are tired and exhausted,

as Jocka would say, good. You're doing your job. But don't pursue all these things just to be tired and exhausted. I hope that makes sense. If tired and exhausted is a byproduct of you showing up for your priorities and responsibilities, good. But if you are pursuing opportunities, opportunities and distractions just for the sake of being tired and exhausted. There's good, there's right, there's bad, there's wrong.

I'm here to recognize and be real that sometimes part of being tired is just part of the process. Embrace it. One of the things I've learned in this last year is you have to be careful with who you allow to influence your life. The word influence is really interesting. I've been reading a lot of John Maxwell stuff this past year. The Bible that I read right now. I get this question a lot. The Bible that I read is John Maxwell's Leadership Bible. It's my favorite. I love it. it has these very well articulated thoughts and comparisons and just blocks of additional text throughout to help you interpret part of scripture and apply that to leadership.

And one of the ways that John Maxwell describes leadership is that leadership is influence. influence can be good or bad, but true influence can facilitate a behavioral change in a person or people. If you follow someone and based off of their level of leadership, if they have influence over you,

they have the ability to change your behaviors, you will change your behaviors based off of their influence and leadership. What they do, what they don't do, what they prefer, how they think, how they act, how they speak.

Real leadership has influence. And that influence is much more than inspiring you to make a purchase on a certain website or buy a certain thing. It is behavioral, change that has compounding and ripple effects throughout your entire life. But you have to be very careful and watchful for who you allow to influence your life, who you allow to speak into you that facilitates behavioral change.

I've had some really strong leaders in my life, very strong mentors who have positively influenced me to make positive behavioral change. And on the flip side, I've also had some leaders who I won't say were bad leaders, but they have influenced me to make behavioral change that wasn't in the best interest of me, but may have been in the best interest of them. The wrong mentor,

leader or influential person in your life, whether this is just a guide, a coach, a teacher, a friend, they can make you stronger, but they can also make you weaker and softer. So to be very careful with who you allow to lead you, speak into you, influence you, because that will guide you into the person you are becoming and who you become. An example of that is I had a mentor in my life who, for quite some time, made me believe, influenced me to believe that being tired and being exhausted was wrong. because I was tired, because I was exhausted, I was doing something wrong. I was prioritizing the wrong things.

I wasn't creating enough boundaries. I was too ambitious. I was pursuing too many opportunities. And I believed it for a period of time. And as I made behavioral change and try to do less and prioritize less and pursue less opportunity because I was wanting more rest. I was wanting more recovery. I didn't want to be tired. I didn't want to be exhausted. I wasn't stewarding my responsibilities appropriately. And as I kind of pulled the covers back a little bit, you know, this specific mentor in my life

at a time, great individual who I have a lot of respect for and I admire and I love, but they were in a different season of life than me. They were married, yes, similar to me, but they didn't have kids. And they weren't a leader or an executive or founder of a business. They didn't have to work as many hours as I had to work. They didn't have as many responsibilities is I have responsibilities. And I was being mentored and coached by someone who didn't understand or cannot relate to the responsibilities that I have and I had.

You know, whether you have kids or not, we all have responsibilities. But I will say, once I became a dad and I have two kids, my kids are getting older, my responsibilities have increased significantly. significantly. The life that I live before having kids versus the life that I live now

after having kids, completely different lives. I have a different purpose. My schedule is different. My 24 hours in a day are different. I have less time for me. I want to be with my family more. I don't want to travel as much.

I love spending time with my family. I love my life now. now. I'm not saying it's easy by any means, but I love the responsibility that I have. The responsibilities that I am called to steward appropriately. But if you allow yourself to be coached and led and mentored by someone who doesn't understand your season of life, who can't relate, and tries to lead, coach or mentor you in a way when they don't understand your own responsibilities because they haven't been there themselves. I think that is a dangerous place to be.

To make it a little bit simpler, if you follow someone online and their life circumstances are situations and schedule and routine responsibilities are very different from yours, you have to take what they say and their advice with a grain of salt. There are certain things you might be able to apply to your life and there are certain things you might not be able to apply to your life. You be careful. You have to be watchful. You have to be intentional with who you allow to influence you

based off of your own individual responsibilities. You know, as I was previously talking about, there's a difference between being tired and exhausted when it's a byproduct of the effort and the work that you are showing up for versus when you just pursue being tired and exhausted because it feels fulfilling for the sake of fulfillment. One of the things that I've struggled with

that I believe and I hope I'm getting better at is overcommitting to things that I shouldn't have committed to. The call to action here is don't commit to things you can't commit to. we've all been here before and will be again. I've made this mistake many times before and I'm going to make it again. I believe I'm getting better, but only time will tell. I have found myself and still do to this day over committing the things. And by the time they come around of these things that I committed to,

I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. and I regret the previous commitment to saying I would go do the thing. So I've put a lot of focus and I still am trying to get better at setting boundaries, politely saying no from the beginning and protecting my priorities. You know, I don't want to be known as the guy that always bails. I don't want to be that guy. So I'm trying to get better at committing to less.

so I can show up for my priorities more. I would say the last couple years, I got really good at bailing on things. So in the moment, I would say yes to everything and anything. I would over-commit. I'd over-commit my time, my energy,

my responsibility to everything that looked like an opportunity. Yeah, I'll go on this business, dinner. I'll go on this travel trip for work. I'll be on this podcast. I'll be part of this project. I'll be in this meeting. I'll be the point of contact for X, Y, and Z. I used to do that. And I found myself overcommitting to a lot. And by the time that commitment came around, like, oh, crap, I did say yes to this. I did tell them I would travel on this work trip. I did say I'd be on this podcast.

And I found myself bailing one thing after another, after another, after another. And I don't want to be known as the person who is unreliable. I don't want to commit and then bail and then have that mark on me as that's the guy who you can't rely on. When he says he's going to be there, you can't trust him. I don't want to be that person. that's an easy way to set yourself up for exhaustion and being tired. That's self-sabotage. You do that to yourself.

I've done that to myself. I'm tired and exhausted because I have committed to too many things that I can't appropriately show up for and manage with the God-given energy that I have. This is a practice you can put in place today. Stop over-committing. When you stop overcommitting to the things that you shouldn't do, you can't do and you don't want to do, then your list of to do things, your priorities get smaller and smaller and smaller, and you can put more energy and focus on those things.

You have heard of the quote in the phrase before, go an inch wide in a mile deep, as opposed to a mile wide and an inch deep. If I look at my responsibilities in life, I'm trying to simplify how much I'm doing, how many priorities I have. I want to make my focus smaller and smaller and smaller, not so that I can do whatever I want to do and have all of this free time and just chill. I want my focus to be tight.

I want my responsibility and priorities to be tight and smaller so that I can go, a mile deep on those things. So at the end of the day, when I put my head on the pillow and I am exhausted, I am tired, I know that the things that I am working on, that ring of focus, those responsibilities,

I'm making meaningful impact in those areas of my life. Commit to less. But on the things that you commit to, go a mile deep. and the byproduct will be being tired. It should be being exhausted because you're putting everything you got

into those few things as opposed to just skimming the surface on a few. Being tired is not a sign to stop. I think we're taught that, especially right now, especially in the fitness, wellness space. I'm just thinking about this now, but I posted this workout online yesterday, which is a pretty normal back training routine that I've been doing for, like, no exaggeration, decades. It's no surprise that I love to train.

I love the run. I love the lift weights. I love high volume. And I love intensity when necessary. I've trained higher volume for many years. My body handles it well. I get a lot out of it. And for me, I'm not the type of person who wants to just get a workout done with.

I'm not the type of person who is going to go into the gym for 15 minutes, do a few sets, call today, and get out. I love being in the gym. I love training. I love taking 60 minutes in spending all of those 60 minutes getting after it, throwing down. And I shared this workout yesterday, which like I said, it was a pretty typical back training workout.

It was seven movements. It was some pull-down movements, pull-ups, rows, bicep curls, chin-ups, seven movements, three to four sets per movement and there are multiple comments and DM saying this is too much

this is too much volume says who I've been training like this for years and years and years and I love it maybe you don't like to train with this much volume or maybe you're not trained to that level to be able to handle that much volume but who are you to say that's too much

well you're going to be tired you're going to be exhausted you're going to work too hard. That's the problem. You're afraid of the work. Yes, there are points of diminishing return. You can over-train and under-recover by doing too much, too much volume, too much intensity, too much repetition. But just because you are tired does not mean it's a sign to stop.

No, no, no, no. It's a signal. It's not a sign. It's a signal to reflect. When you are tired, when you are exhausted, is a signal to reflect. To take a tactical pause and assess your goals, your priorities, and where or what you are spending your time. When I'm sitting in the sauna at night, after a long day, putting the kids down, preparing for the next day. If I'm extra tired or extra exhausted, I take a tactical pause.

That time in the sauna, that is my reset time. Let me assess what I'm saying yes to, what I'm saying no to right now. Let me assess my priorities. Let me assess my goals. Let me assess where and what I'm spending my time on. And if there's something that I'm pursuing that shouldn't be a priority, that's an opportunity for me to remove, minimize, or eliminate. If I am spending my time or doing something that is digging me deeper into a hole,

it has diminishing return, negative effects, or it isn't getting me anywhere, it's time to reassess and replan and re-attack. I think too many people, once they get tired, they stop. I don't want to push it too hard. I don't want to push it too far. I need rest. I need recovery. I am not here to say rest in recovery and sleep is not important.

Because I know people are going to hear what I'm talking about and they're going to take it the completely opposite and wrong way. I'm not saying that. I believe in sleep. I believe in rest. I believe in recovery. But there are seasons. There are times when it's not an option. There are seasons, there are times when being tired and being exhausted is part of the process.

And you just have to lean in and suck it up and embrace the suck. That's the truth. There's no way around it sometimes. I'm not here to tell you that it's not okay to rest and recover when you are tired. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is sometimes you don't have a choice and you got to double down and lean in and go one more based off of the season of life you're in, your responsibilities, your goals, your priorities. Sometimes you don't have a choice to stop because being tired is not a sign to stop. It is a signal to reflect and reassess and re-attack.

It's a blessing to be tired. Truly. It's a blessing to be able to work toward something. It's a blessing to be able to pursue. I feel blessed every single day that I have been called to be a husband, a leader, a father. That responsibility is really heavy on me. I feel blessed to be able to carry and steward that responsibility. Now, we all have 24 hours in a day, but I'm not one to sit here and tell you we all have the same 24 hours.

Everyone's life is different. Some of us have kids. Some of us don't. Some are married. Some are not. Some have high, demanding, hard, manual labored jobs, and some don't. Some people work and some don't. Some people have million dollars in the bank and some have zero.

We all have different circumstances. We're all in different situations. But we all do have 24 hours. They're not the same 24 hours. with our circumstances and our individual situations, we have to be accountable and manage our 24 hours responsibly. I'm not comparing my 24 hours to years, and you're not comparing your 24 hours to mine.

I'm not looking at my neighbor. I'm not looking at my coworkers. I'm not looking at my friends. To say, oh, must be nice. You live a different life. Must be nice. Like you go home and your responsibilities end once you leave work. No, cut that crap.

There's no comparing my 24 hours to anyone else's. But it's my job to manage my 24 hours. When am I going to sleep? When am I going to work? When am I going to train? When am I going to spend time with my family? When am I going to prepare food? when am I going to run errands?

When am I going to do all the things that I want and have to do in my 24 hours and make it happen? And as your life responsibilities increase, just like in the season of life I'm in right now, I have to be more strict and rigid and ruthless in the way that I show up and manage my 24 hours. So I'm not here to compare my life to yours or your life to mine. But what I am saying is we all had the responsibility to manage our 24 hours based off our life circumstances and situation. There's three types of tired people. And I've labeled them appropriately. The first is the lazy procrastinator.

The second is the play it safe reservist. And the third is the ambitious warrior. There's three ways to be tired. The first, the lazy procrastinator. This person is tired because they don't take care of themselves. They don't take care of their mind, their body, or their spirit. They don't manage their 24 hours appropriately. they don't challenge themselves.

They don't force themselves become resilient in the face of a hardship or a challenge. They're not pushing themselves. They're not growing. They're not filling their day with purposeful,

passionate, hard things. The lazy procrastinator is the person who waste time watching movies and playing video games and doesn't prepare their foods and when they're at work,

they're not getting enough work done so they get home late, they don't spend time with their family because they stayed at work late because they didn't get the things they have to get done, so then they have to get caught up on work at night and they don't work out

because they didn't plan appropriately. And over time, it is this, snowball effect that gets worse and worse and worse over time. The lazy procrastinator is the person who doesn't take ownership of their 24 hours and they are tired because they are not growing. They are not taking care of their health or their fitness. They're exhausted because they are unhealthy.

physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. The second type of tired is to play it safe reservists. They're tired because they are well rested. There's wasted potential. And they neglect their calling to steward their talents. They play it safe. There's opportunity in which they could grow they could get better, but they like being rested.

They like being recovered. They don't want to sacrifice what they have for the welfare of other people in their community, their family, or themselves. They just play it safe. And they're tired because they're not growing. They're not exceeding. They just plateau. They live right in the middle.

There's no tick down. There's no tick up. They play it safe. And the third type of tired, which is the tired that I want to be, and that I am. And for many of you listen to this podcast, it's probably you too.

It's the ambitious warrior. They are tired. You are tired because you are putting in the work. You want to reach your potential. You are managing your 24-hour day appropriately, where it is stacked. You're waking up early. You're taking care of your body, your mind, your spirit. You're showing up for your work.

You're excelling. You're setting really hard, ambitious goals, and you're chasing them down. You're carving out time for your family to show up and be present. you're saying no to a lot of unnecessary opportunities. I say no to a lot of stuff personally and professionally. So that I can show up for my real priorities. The ambitious warrior wakes up and thinks, if it matters to me, I will make time.

I got 24 hours. If it matters to me, I'm making time today. that might mean I'm sleeping less this might mean I'm waking up early and I'm staying up later this might mean that I'm saying no to all these other luxury items

and things and places that I wanted to do or experience because if it matters to you you will make time there's three types of tired which one do you want to be the lazy procrastinator to play it safe or serviced or the ambitious warrior.

This past week I was listening to a really good sermon by my friend, Pastor Noah Heron. He's from Way Church in Nashville, Tennessee. He planted that church. And the title of the sermon was called How to Be a Godly Dad. And he was talking about the difference between a boy and a man. And I've heard many different takes. on this before. I've often found that pastors do a really good job at describing the difference between a boy

and a man. And the way he broke it down and described it is that a boy consumes while a man sacrifices. A boy thinks, what do I get out of this? What are you going to do for me? How do I win? What do I get? How much am I going to get paid? Where's the transaction?

So on and so forth. Consumption. Boys consume. What makes a man different to demand sacrifices? He's not thinking, what can they do for me? What can I get out of this? It is how do I make myself smaller to serve the people around me? a man, which is different from a boy, is a selfless servant.

Sacrifice. Being a dad is the most important part of my life. Easily. But it does not give me a free pass on practicing a lazy life. There's always a joke about like the dad bod. I can promise you all never have a dad bod. I can promise you that. I've met a lot of guys, some boys, some men, who as soon as they became a dad, it's almost like it allowed them to embrace the dad life of becoming lazy in all these other areas and aspects of their life.

I'm a dad now, so I can eat a crap diet and it's accepted. I'm a dad now, so I can gain the weight. I'm a dad now. so I don't have to work out as much as I used to. Well, no, that's not how the ambitious warrior shows up because if it matters to you, you will make time. Training matters to me. Being healthy matters to me.

Being fit matters to me. I will sacrifice sleep and energy so I can make time for myself in the morning so that then I can commit the rest of the hours of my day to my family, my wife and my kids. The difference between a boy and a man, a boy consumes, a man sacrifices. Part of what you will sacrifice in the pursuit and the purpose of being a man to serve others, you're sacrificing at sometimes in seasons of life rest in recovery. don't feel bad for being tired.

Be grateful. Because to be tired is a blessing. If it is a byproduct of pursuing your purpose and your mission, to serve. And in my case, to be a man, to transition from the boy to the man, from consumption to sacrifice. So if you're tired,

if you're exhausted, if you're working hard, if you feel like you're burning the candle from both ends to show up for your priorities and your responsibilities, I see you. I'm here with you. I'm proud of you. So lean in, double down, and go on more.