The Nick Bare Podcast - Archive - Stefany Bare | How Parenting Has Changed Us

Episode Date: September 26, 2022

Episode #147 Stefany Bare is BACK ON THE SHOW! She joins Nick on the podcast for their first public conversation since having their newborn, Charli Grace Bare. They answer questions that you all submitted via their Instagram about how their marriage has adjusted since being parents and what they've learned about each other in the process. Nick and Stef have honest and specific conversation that makes for a refreshing episode. Follow Stef on Instagram: @stefany.bare Check out her website: stefanybare.com More Resources: BPN Website - Supplements and Apparel: www.bpnsupps.com Nick’s Website: www.nickbare.com Nick’s Instagram: @nickbarefitness Nick’s Youtube: www.youtube.com/user/barelifenutrition Follow Us On Social Media: Instagram: @thebareperformancepodcast Facebook: The Bare Performance Podcast

Welcome back to another powerful episode of the podcast. I'm your host, Nick Baer, founder and CEO of Bear Performance Nutrition. Every week, we bring you insightful stories, knowledge, and inspiration to help you reach your full potential in life, fitness, and business. If you enjoy the message we're promoting in this podcast, we would greatly appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review on the platform you're listening to. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes. that embody the go one more mindset.

Today on the podcast, we have my beautiful wife, Stephanie Bear. Hello, everybody. I'm back. Welcome back. A lot of things have changed since I've been back. I can now say that I'm a guest in the podcast that Matthew McConaughey's been on. He was not on it before I was. I guess you're, no. No, I was before him.

So now I feel like this is a big deal. Maybe you're right. And you're now a mother? Yep. Your dad? And our baby girl is officially two months and four days old as of today. Time is flying. So we have lots to talk about.

We opened up a Q&A on Instagram yesterday. A lot of the questions were in regards to being new parents. Yes. Balancing life as a parent, balancing health and fitness, balancing work, But I wanted to kick it off before we dive into some of these questions with an icebreaker. It's not really an icebreaker. It's a conversation about last night's date night. Okay.

I want to talk about Jay Carvers, who went to Jay Carvers downtown Austin. Yep. And we had bone marrow, which bone marrow is probably one of my favorite foods in the entire world. It is for me now that I'm not pregnant anymore. Oh, so good. Very good. It came out with this. It's Italian toast.

and three big pieces of bone with bone marrow in it and it was seasoned and I just scooped out the bone marrow onto that toast and it was like the greatest thing you hype up a lot of things but this was actually worth the hype and then we had oysters yep which I enjoyed because I haven't had those before or since being pregnant as well delicious we split a 40 ounce porter house the waiter told us you're going to need a doggy bag and we barely needed the doggy bag i mean i was i was eating the meat off the bone literally i had the bone in my mouth eating the meat off the bone and then we wrapped up oh we had some sides uh we had some baked potato noki that was great which how do you say noki nokey

because the waiter always goes he what does he say i would have said ganache i always said ganache that's a different food yeah but based off the weights he always goes niochi We got to ask Nikki. He's probably right. We had some beats, and then we had banana foster, brioche bread pudding. Damn, that meal was good. And I had an espresso martini.

Yeah, you did have an espresso martini. It was great. With that being said, we're going to try to do date night more often. Yep. The reason we were able to do date night last night is because Steph's mom and grandma were in town or are in town as of until today. Yeah, which is why I'm able to do this too, because they're watching Charlie. So our life is a little bit different now. And over the last two months and four days, we have started to navigate this next chapter of life.

But we still want to keep doing date night and we're looking for solutions to keep date night part of our normal routine. Yep. So let's dive into the first question. It is, what are some of the moral pillars? that you will raise your children with. You love this topic. I do love this topic. We talked about this a lot while I was pregnant.

Well, I think you need a foundation to not even just raise children off of. You need a foundation in your life based off of values and morals that when things get really difficult or challenging and you need to find a solution to issues you're dealing with, you resort back to your foundational values. I think it's important for you as an individual. It's important for you as a family, and it's definitely important for you as you raise children. Now, I know we're only two months and four days into raising a child,

but I honestly believe that these principles apply to any part of your life. So what would you say some of these moral pillars are that we are incorporating into raising, you know, Charlie, Charlie Grace, but also our future children as well? I think one of the biggest things we talked about because I think every date night we went on during pregnancy, we talked about our family pillars and how we want to raise our children and hell, a lot of conversations. And I feel like the backbone of every value we've talked about is like the word that pops out me is intention. Like that was the biggest thing for me that I just want to be an intentional

parent, intentional wife. I think that's so important. You're not just, and I think foundation and values as a whole, it's kind of like the bones of your family and it's not just reacting to things as they happen. It's like slowing down, remembering like the core foundation and addressing situation and reacting based on that. And I just think having intention behind everything you do is probably the most important for me. Intentionality. And not just reacting because I feel like having, and being intentional, it really makes you have to slow down a lot and making decisions. I think part of that is probably understanding patience.

Yeah. Being patient, you have to be patient to be intentional. Because if you're not patient, then you're not able to be deliberate or intentional. you're being reactive like you said. Yeah. And I feel like regret and guilt comes out of situations where you react quickly, if that makes sense. Like if I emotionally react to something, that's when I end up kind of regretting a reaction.

Do you know what I'm saying? And that normally is brought on by me not sticking to values or things we've talked about. I mean, I think I can give a very good example of this right here. There's a reason I have this fucking panther on my own. right now. Is there? Is because when I was 18 years old, I wasn't intentional and deliberate

with what I was doing to my body. Oh, yes. Okay. And I got a shit tattoo right here on my right bicep by this horrible tattoo artist in my hometown. And I spent over a decade trying to fix it.

And now I have to stare at a panther every day. And now you got this panther, this badass panther looking you in the face. Charlie's going to remember this. Panther. I'll tell you that much. She would say, my dad's got a panther on her arm. You know what that means? Don't fuck with my dad.

Is that what it means? That's what that means. Okay. Okay. I like the idea of I'm going to resort back to some things I've implemented into the business over the last couple years and through one of my favorite books, no rules rule, talking about leading with

context rather than control. I don't want to have to control our children growing up, but I want them to understand the context in which I'm trying to instill values so that they make their own decisions based off of the context that we've provided as they've grown up and we're not constantly controlling and micromanaging them. My goal is that they can make their own decisions based off these values of the context that we have provided over years and years and years. And I think by watching us too,

I think one of the smartest ways to teach your kid how to do something, not that we're in that level yet, but is leading by example. And we talk about this all the time with fitness. You know, having a home gym, so your child sees you work out and sees you make the time

to make yourself a priority and your health a priority. Leading by example, there, I mean, we have so many friends who are parents of kids who are, you know, at the age where they see their parents and they're kind of at that like sponge age where they see and then they do we're not there yet but when that day comes I know it's going to be harder and

easier said than done to lead by example but I think it's good to practice now. I was a I was in an interview last week and you know the whole team was listening to this interview and the person said oh you have a kid now I bet you that you're not working. not anymore, but you're not eating healthy anymore. And the whole team just laughed. They're like, nope, that's not the case. But I do agree with that of, I mean, that's how I was raised. My parents never really had to tell me how to live this life based off of values.

It wasn't like here's our 10 values that our family lives off of. Nothing was ever written down like that. But it was just instilled in us through context as we were raised and raised. grew up and I learned a lot just by watching my mom and my dad. Yeah, I think values are just non-negotiables. This is how we do life together. This is how we treat people. This is how we serve others.

And I think they're non-negotiable for a family. It's choosing unspoken. The hard right, the hard right over the easy wrong. My goal is that for all of our children, I think especially because our first child as a girl, a daughter. My hope is that my goal is that as we raise them, even from when they're younger, and they're starting to make their own decisions of where they point that arrow on their trajectory of where that life goes for them, that they make the right decisions, the hard decisions over the easy wrong decisions so that they are on the right path.

Yeah. And I don't want to be a helicopter parent by any means. It's like, no, you can't do that. No, don't do that. I'm going to do this for you. I think if we set them up correctly to fail and fail and fail and fail, and if they learn from those failures, it guides them in the right direction they're supposed to be moving.

Yeah. I think for me too, when I look at Charlie and I think about future Charlie, I think the biggest compliment someone can get as a human is like that person made me feel good. And that's what I want for Charlie. That's what I want for myself, for you. Like, I want Charlie to be someone that when she leaves a room, the room's like, that's a great person. Like, she made me feel better about myself. And that's something that, you know, we have to, again, lead by example. So I think that's just a huge core value for me is kindness and just intentionality, serving others. And you have to do all of those things by

dating by example. Like we can't, like you always say, we can't expect something out of her that we don't do ourselves or expect out of ourselves. It's kind of, I think we talked about this a couple weeks ago. Like having a kid is like having the most like transparent like HD magnified mirror ever, right? You're kind of looking right back at yourself for the first few years. Yeah, that's true. Because you're molding them. So lots of, lots of lessons learned about values. We got some time though because she still is kind of like a little blob. Yeah, it's very, very true. And I was at this wedding this past weekend

and the father of the bride gave a speech at the reception. He kept getting choked up as he was like talking about his daughter. Well, I started putting myself in his seat. Yeah. You know, maybe 24, 25 years from now, which feels like eternity. but it's going to be here at some point. And then I thought about, you know, the, whoever Charlie decides to live her life with

is going to be partly a reflection of what we've taught her as she has been raised. So I take a lot of responsibility in that as well because we're helping her make the decisions that are going to guide the rest of her life. Yeah. It's a huge responsibility. Yeah.

And it feels pretty heavy. Yeah. Parenting is heavy. So this is some of the values that, I mean, me and Steph talk about this all the time. Yeah. About what we want Charlie to learn from us, but also what we want to learn from Charlie. And in future children as well. Yeah.

But we're just in the beginning stages. But our people told me so many times before she was born, this is going to change your life. This is going to change your life. And I don't want to say. didn't believe it. I did believe it and I expected it but it changed my life in a way that I didn't necessarily expect or anticipate.

How so? It has reframed what is actually important in life and my priorities. I will butcher the quote from Ben Rector of the song Daughters

but in the song he talks about how you know when he was younger before having kids. He thought his career was everything. He thought making money was everything. And that's where all of his time, energy, money, and resources went towards.

And I can relate to that over the last decade. And now since Charlie's been born, my priorities have shifted. Or now it's, well, I want to spend time with family. I want to spend time with you. I want to spend time with my kids.

Like, I want to be present. and I don't know if I've ever told this story on the podcast, but I've told a lot of people recently about this story. I was listening to this interview. It was probably a year and a half ago at this point. And there was this CEO who was very successful. He sold his business for $100 million. And the person interviewing him asked,

you just sold your business for $100 million. What's next? What do you want to do? And he said, I'm going to travel the world. role with my family. And then his family said, well, dad, we don't want to travel with you. We don't even know you. So here's this man who spent all his time, his entire life, building this business, cashed out, sold for $100 million. But he's lonely because no one wants to do anything with him now and in the future because he wasn't present in the past. And I remember where I was

When I heard this story, I was driving. I was two minutes away from HQ. I was next to the McDonald's on university. Wow, this really stuck with you. It did stick with me. I remember the story. And having a child has reframed just some priorities in life. And I'm 32 years old now.

I'm getting older. I'm not getting any younger. And I don't want to be 65 years old saying, Okay, now it's time to dedicate to my family. And some of these other questions that we're going to answer will provide some more context into that. Yeah. But I'd say it's reframed priorities. Yep.

Absolutely. I've seen it. I've seen a huge shift in, and I can tell it's stressed you out a lot. You know? Yeah. It hasn't necessarily been a big shift yet in actions, but in planning. And mindset. In mindset.

Yeah. Totally. All right. Question number two. What has been the hardest part of being a dad and CEO of a company? So I'll talk about this briefly. One thing I keep telling people is I've realized I can no longer be selfish with my time and energy. And there's only a few people in my life who know what it's actually taken to get a business to this point.

Yeah. You can, you know, if you're watching this from afar on social media, you might be able to have a pulse on what it has taken to get here, but you really don't know unless you're around it on a daily basis, especially for a decade in time. And it is required all of my time and energy to get a business to this point, especially a bootstrapped business and built with a strong culture and choosing the hard right over the easy wrong.

And what I've learned, you know, now that I'm a dad and a CEO and a creator and a founder of a business, it's very hard to balance both. It really isn't. What I used to do is, you know, I'd go to work during the day. I'd come home, we'd make dinner. As soon as dinner was done, I'd go right back to work. Yep. And I would do that until 11, 12 p.m.

And that was just very normal for a long period of time. And you obviously had to sacrifice a lot for that to happen. And what I've realized since having a kid is, I can't do that anymore. I mean, I could, but I would... You'd be that guy that you just talked about. I'd be a pretty shitty husband and father. Yeah. So, you know, now get home from work.

We make dinner. Typically, when your mom and grandma aren't in town, I get home from work. That's your time to go work out. I throw Charlie on my chest. We start prepping dinner. When you're done working out, we eat dinner. And then, you know, we spend the night together and with Charlie.

Yeah. Even the weekends are different. Even the mornings are different. So what I've realized is I can't be as selfish with my time anymore like I used to be able to. But I needed that time the last decade to get the business to this point. Yeah. I know there's, there's. There's new fathers and new mothers out there who are building a business and in the startup phase.

And my hat goes off to you because I know how challenging that is. Yeah. So if you're in it, just keep going. Like just stick with it because I know how challenging it is to bootstrap a startup. And I can only imagine what the bootstrapped startup, you know, zero to one phase is like with a newborn or children. So I'm very grateful and appreciative that I've taken, I took that step

before getting married and having kids. But that's one of the biggest things that I've realized and it's probably the hardest part is not being able to spend all of my time building the business. Yeah, I mean, I've never, you have talked about guilt a lot since you've been

a dad. And I try my best to not let that you know affect you, but I can tell that when you leave in the morning, it hurts a little bit more. Or if you get home a little bit later, I can tell it stresses you out a little bit more. I can feel your energy. And you've said to me before, like, I just feel guilty leaving and go, well, this is an emotion.

I think that every parent feels. Yeah, and a lot of it, I mean, don't get me wrong. I miss Charlie when I'm gone during the day. But it's not a guilt because I necessarily miss her during the day. but it's a guilt because it's on me. It's on you. Yeah. And I know how time and energy demanding that is.

Mm-hmm. And also that I'm missing those moments. Yeah. That you never get back. Yeah. And some of the, you know, the follow-on questions are going to talk about what I'm actively doing to, you know, fix some of these issues that I'm currently dealing with. Yeah. Because when issues arise, it's one thing to identify.

It's another thing to take action, plan, prepare, execute on those issues. Well, I think you're doing a great job. I think a lot of people, a lot of fathers aren't also CEOs. You have like four full-time jobs, I feel like, honestly. And you have a new one with being a dad. And yeah, every day isn't perfect and we're still trying to figure it out. And I feel like the last two months have been kind of a blur. But like every day we figure it out a little bit more.

But I think at the end of the day we're both just like we're doing the best we can. And you've been doing the best you can. It's not easy. Even just running a business by itself is not easy. I mean this first three weeks after Charlie was born, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I know I had to talk you off a ledge a couple times. Remember that conversation by the pool? I remember like my mom was in the house and you were just like you were the dad that I thought you would be

but you are a lot harder on yourself than I thought you would be about I think you had these expectations of this type of dad you were going to be which I knew the dad you were going to be because I know the person you are you're a great human but I just felt like you were disappointed by yourself and I remember one night it kind of all just I don't know if she was fussy or like she was screaming or something but you just like went outside to take a minute and I'm like mom I need to go give Nick a pep talk I'll be back I felt like a failure in like all aspects of life yeah and I could feel that but I think that's what the first month of parenting is for everyone but you you just don't like feeling that and no one likes feeling that and it's not something you can necessarily instantly

fix yeah it was uh it was a hard first couple weeks for me to adjust I had to remind you constantly and I still remind you constantly. This is temporary. She is not going to be, I mean, we're already out of, I would say like the really hard, hard, hard, hard part. She's a little bit more regimented. But I think you are so, like you are, I don't know what the word is, but you are just like very present in moments in your emotions.

And sometimes I feel like you can't forward think sometimes when you're overwhelmed. And I'm like, hey, this is only for a few weeks. she's like this. This is only for a couple months. And you're like, oh yeah. I remember one day you're like, you know what I just remembered? I'm like what? You're like, she goes to school.

And then we have our days back. Like she goes to school. I'm like five years. I'm like, yeah. It's like you forgot about that. Because when you're in it, it is. It's super overwhelming. And it feels like there's no out of it.

Like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. So I've been trying my best to remind ourselves, both of us. I need that reminder too. But I can see the weight lighten a little bit when I just remind you this is temporary. You're like, I guess you're right. I guess you're right. I think the best way that I've described it yet is, and this reference is from the movie Ford versus Ferrari. I remember when I was watching this movie. It was on a plane like two years ago. And Ford versus Ferrari, the goal with driving these fast vehicles was to get them as close to red line as possible.

so you're pushing that engine, that vehicle as hard and fast as possible without it breaking down. And I think over the last, you know, 10 years I've gotten really good at operating at Redline. Yeah. And what having a child did for me was push that, you know, dial over Redline. And I became very overwhelmed very quickly because the engine blew up and shot down. Yeah. Essentially. But we're figuring out. Balancing being a father and CEO is definitely challenging, but, you know, it's definitely easier now than it was five weeks ago.

Yes. All right. Next question. How do we schedule slash divide work and family time? Over to you. Well, this was a big discussion we had with my work going into this, because truthfully, all I've ever wanted was to be a mom and I didn't know how work for me being a blogger, working with brands and all the things that I've been doing

for the past few years. I didn't know how that was going to look for me and I was giving myself the space to figure it out as I go. We're very fortunate that you know, you take care of us and I have the freedom to figure that out if we needed to. And I just didn't know how I was going to feel about work

going into being a mom. If I had to guess when I was pregnant, I'm like, I might, I think I'm just going to be like, I think my cup is going to be completely full from being a mom. And this is like what I've been waiting for. This is my moment. Like, this is all I'm going to need. And, but I kept talking about it.

And I kept saying, well, we'll figure it out. Like, I don't know how I'm going to feel until I get there. I'm not sure when I'm going to jump back into work. If I'm going to jump back into work, also our work is social media. So it's kind of vulnerable and kind of scary with a child. So I just didn't know. So I was giving myself the space to figure it out. and I was actually really shocked at how quickly,

and now that I'm on the other side of it, I can see why with my personality type and how we live our life, I was shocked at how quickly I realized, oh, I definitely need an identity outside of being a mom. And I definitely need something that I'm working for in life and a purpose outside of being a mom. I love being a mom, and it absolutely is fulfilling, but I'm not one of those people

who I wake up every day and I'm like, this is my job and this completely fills up my cup. So I'm still trying to figure out how to do it. Let me tell you, it ain't easy. We'll get into this later, but we don't have family here.

We don't have help. So, you know, I have been the full-time provider for the last almost 10 weeks, which I want. That's what I've wanted this past, you know, a couple months. But I've tried to jump back into work a little bit. And it's like work spurts of nap time and nap time doesn't happen.

And it's been, it's been tough. I think we talked about this a couple weeks ago. And I think the enemy gets you where, like very specifically. And for us, nights have been really good. We've been really blessed with nights. And I think I've learned I can do a lot better than I felt with a little sleep. We knew that you can operate with little to no sleep. That's just how you are.

So I feel like the enemy is attacking us and we're getting really challenged by our days being hard because me and you are such high performers and we have high energy, we want to get things done, we don't like to sit. Like I'm not someone that's going to like sit on the couch and watch Bravo all day.

Like I have a list of things that I want to get done same with you. So I think we've really been challenged by Charlie not being a napper. And with work especially for me, like I can't get anything done because our days are just consumed. Yeah, that was like one of the sub questions. Of this question is, do we have help with Charlie when Steph's mom is down visiting? But she's been down here like four weeks out of the 10 weeks. She's been alive.

She comes down every couple of weeks to spend some time with us. She's retired, yeah. But Steph's family lives in Michigan. My dad primarily lives in Pennsylvania, but comes down to Texas every once in a while too. So we don't have family living down here. And we lost your mom. Yeah. And my mom passed away in 2019. if my mom was so alive, she would definitely be living here full-time. Oh my gosh, yeah.

Helping. So, you know, we're trying to navigate that without family down here full-time right now. And like Steph said, we had been blessed at this moment of time. Can we knock on one? At this moment of time with Charlie's sleeping throughout the night. Yeah. So, like, right now our routine is at 8 p.m. Charlie gets a bath.

At like 8.30, she either gets a bottle or the boob. Or the boob. And then by like 845, 9, she's asleep in the snoo. And then she sleeps until like... God bless the snoo. Seriously, game changing. Not sponsored. Just really thankful for that piece of technology.

That was like one of the best investments we've ever made. Yes. and then she sleeps in there until 4, 5 a.m. She gets fed again. She gets changed. She gets put back down for a few more hours. Yep. So nights after four weeks have been pretty good so far.

Yep. And she's listening now, so tonight's going to be terrible. Exactly. We're waiting for the night where all these things just like change. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. We don't need you to tell us it's going to happen because we know it's going to happen. We know this is not here to stay.

Yeah. But that means during the day, she's like, she's up a lot. Yeah. So work-wise, you know, my routine for work is still fairly routine and consistent in terms of I'm at work between 8.30 a.m. And I'm at work. I mean, it can range from 4.30 p.m. until 8, 9 p.m., depending on what's going on. Like today is one of those days where we're shooting after work and I'll be gone until 8 p.m. Oh, I didn't know that.

We were doing the Roka shoot on Lake Georgetown with the boat, remember? Yeah, you said that was during the day, but we will plan accordingly. That is a sunset shoot. Okay. Blaming Tony for that one. Reminder to communicate. Tony. Tony adds Steph to my calendar piece.

That's actually be really smart. We will do that. Okay. But yeah, the schedules change a lot like that. But we're still trying to navigate work and family time. It's not perfect by any means. But I'm a pretty firm believer in the concept of chapters in life. And sometimes chapters in life are more challenging.

And you have to dedicate more time to one thing. And then that next chapter can complete change. I mean, we could be a few chapters down in a few years. years and we could be living on a farm raising cattle and chickens and pigs and bison who knows who knows what future chapters could look like but the best part is you're in control of your chapters and sometimes you got to weather the storm of the chapter you're in but take necessary steps to make sure that a chapter in the future looks the way you wanted to look. You are in control of writing your own book

and you can guide those chapters towards a happy ending that hopefully works out. But guess what? Some of those chapters are probably going to be filled with evil and destruction and death. And that's just part of life. You can't plan all the chapters. But, you know, my hope is that,

that our kids understand they get to write their own book. Some of those chapters they will be able to write, some they won't be able to, but the book of their life is their control. It is our control. Yeah. You call them chapters. I call them seasons,

and that's what's really gotten me through this, like, fighting this urge right now for me to be like, you know, I need to work. I need to be doing something. And again, like, I think the biggest thing that I've learned about being a parent so far is just like slowing down and being where your feet are and I remind myself too like sometimes she'll be like crying and I can't like figure it out which we've gotten pretty good at figuring out when Charlie's crying which is helpful it is true that

like I remember holding like my niece being like how does anyone hold a crying baby and not lose their mind but when it is your child you don't lose your mind at least we don't lose our minds and I think Nearly. Yeah, almost sometimes. But just being where your feet are. And yeah, I just remember this one moment. Like, I was walking to her nursery. I'm like, she's crying.

It must be the diaper. I can't figure it out. And for some reason, Charlie really loves her changing table. Like, that thing is like a pad of peace. I don't know why. Maybe because she's like level with us or something. I'm not really sure. But I set her down.

And then she started smiling. And I'm like, okay, this is where I am right now. I'm in this season where I'm not being called to work. I don't have to work. I'm really lucky that I don't have to work right now, that I'm not one of the moms that, you know, is navigating postpartum hormones, navigating breastfeeding,

navigating going back to work at six weeks, because that's a really big reality for a lot of women. And I do not take for granted at all that I do not have to, you know, report back to an office after six weeks. Because when we hit that six week mark, I thought about that. And I was like, holy crap, I could never imagine leaping. this child right now. Like, I have a lot to say about that, but we'll keep that. I think that's so messed up.

But just being present, being like, this is what I'm called to do right now. It's okay that I'm not accomplishing a lot or that I'm not like checking something on my bucket list because this was on my bucket list. Like I have to remind myself like being a mom, look how hard we work to be parents. It took us a lot longer than we thought and it was really challenging and it was one of the hardest years of my life. And sometimes I just have to remind myself like I have what I've always wanted. need to work right now. I don't need to put up four blog posts a week. Like people aren't waiting by the phone also. You know, this is like, Charlie needs me right now. Chapters. Seasons. Chapters and seasons. Yeah. All right. The next topic of discussion is if it matters to you,

you will make time. And the question was, from a practical standpoint, how does someone who gets easily discouraged, overcome these obstacles. Steph and I had a conversation about this question last night on the way to dinner. And I thought it honestly would be best to just give it to you straight. Be honest. And the way we kind of described this last night, I think some people have it rooted in their blood and DNA to be fighters and fight for what they. want, fight for what they believe in, fight for their family, fight for their values, just like

fight in general. Some people have that characteristic in, literally in their DNA, and that gets passed on to generation and generation and generation. I look at my grandfathers, I look at my parents, they had it, I have it, we fight for what we want to accomplish in life. And that breeds discipline and consistency and this just grit to do whatever it takes to win and succeed. However you define that. Some people don't have that rooted in their DNA in blood. And they will not and cannot fight for anything. And they constantly give up and they quit and they fail and they look at people who are

succeed in an accomplishing and they get pissy and they bitch and they moan and they complain about not being able to fight. I do think sometimes you are just, that's in your DNA. I don't know what that looks like. I'm not a scientist, but I don't know what it looks like in your DNA. I think some people are just born to fight and some are not. And that's not to say that it can't be taught or learned, but I think for it to be taught or learned, there has to be a, what my instructors in the military used to call a significant

emotional event that happens in your life that gives you reason or purpose to fight for something. And if you've never had a significant emotional event and you're constantly discouraged to overcome these obstacles that you're experiencing, if you've never had this significant emotional event, there's probably a reason you're not fighting. to search for challenge. You need to search for more obstacles. You need to experience hardship. If you don't have that reducing your DNA,

you have to experience something that course corrects the chemical structure in your blood to fight. Yeah. It's all about discipline. I feel like that's one of the biggest questions we've gotten. And this is something that people were like

shaking their finger at us. Like, just wait. You aren't going to have time to work out. You're going to get a dad bod. you're going to be too tired to train or to prep meals or to still eat healthy. And let me tell you, as soon as that little meat version was lifted from my body after pregnancy, I was like, it's game time. I'm getting back to how I felt. And I was so excited to have some discipline in my life again.

Because pregnancy does do some weird things to your body. But, yeah, I mean, I just feel like it's a non-negotiable. Like so many people told us we're not going to have time to take care of ourselves. And I'm here to report two months in. I don't think we've missed a beat, truthfully. No, we've missed very few workouts. Yeah. And for me, the second I got cleared, like I honestly probably worked out a couple of days before I got cleared.

Like I was like, give me a dumbbell. I need to do a bicep curl. I will hold my core tight. Just give me a weight. Like I needed to do something because I know how good it makes me feel. and I know that I am a better human being. If I have those moments that you always say of solitude, like for me, like moving my body and just using up some energy is more,

for me in this stage of life, more for my mental health and my physical health, 100%. And a great example is yesterday. Yesterday, for some reason, I was having a hormonal wave of a day. and we came here to work out and I was just extremely overwhelmed and overstimulated and if you're a new mom you get it and I got on the treadmill and I was just so pissed off I'm like I can't work out right now

and I was like mm-mm can't do it can't do it and then I gave myself a few hours, went home got on my bike and then I was good and like granted yes my mom was in town and she could watch Charlie but like when my mom hasn't been in town we have found I've worked out way later than I've wanted to we've prepped meals way later than we've wanted to or stayed up later, gotten up earlier.

It's just a non-negotiable for us because I don't even want to meet the version of myself that doesn't have that in my life because I know that I won't be a good mom or wife. Well, it's nice now that Charlie, as of right now, goes down at 9 p.m. Yeah. If we have to, we'll just work out 9, 10 p.m. Yeah. To get the training session in. Just make it work.

Yeah, and I just think you have to find. there's people that will find the pockets in their day and they will and you will there's people that will use those pockets and be you know productive and there's people who will be like I need to lay down and scroll and I think like you said you either have it or you don't like when I see a pocket in my day now even if I'm so tired and like sometimes I don't even remember like working out I will take advantage of any little hole in my day like you just have to think about it like that because I know that I'm going to be more energized and feel better.

It's true. You truly cannot pour from an empty cup. If I don't take care of myself, I am one empty cup. I remember I was telling that story last night. I'll never forget the story. It was a few years ago. I was dieting for a,

it was a YouTube series, but I wanted to put some size on and then document the process of losing weight, specifically body fat. through tracking calories and, you know, manipulating macronutrients. And we were in Pennsylvania, we were at breakfast with a bunch of friends. And I ordered like egg whites and oatmeal and veggies for breakfast. And this triggered one of the people that we were at breakfast with.

And they asked, like, what are you doing? They have pancakes. They have waffles. They have crepes. they have all this shit that you can order. And I was, well, no, like, I'm dieting right now. I'm, you know, trying to stick to this plan to achieve this goal

because that's what you got to do to achieve a goal, to achieve a objective. And their response was life's too short to be focused on that. And I was like, you don't fucking get it. I didn't say that, but in my head, I'm like, you don't get it. it you don't get me, this breakfast is not happening again. I will never forget that breakfast because it was so ridiculous to me that you're telling

me if you set a goal and a plan and you don't stick to it, you still expect to achieve your, you know, your hopes. And, uh, yeah. if it matters to you, you're going to make time and you're going to make the right choices. We've done some crazy things. Like, we went through this couple of week phase where Charlie wouldn't nap anywhere, but nap outside on our patio, like underneath the fan. And I remember one day I was like, I need to ride my bike right now.

I just need, I need this from my mental state. And I know that when Nick gets home, I want to spend time with him and I don't want to spend it. I don't want to just hand Charlie off to him, so I need to figure out way to get this done. She fell asleep in the patio, and I moved my how many pound sole cycle bike. I was actually really impressed by that. I took the bike out of our garage gym,

through the other garage, I wheeled it through our entire house with somehow out waking her up, and I wheeled it outside to our back patio by the grill, and I got an extension cord to plug in the dang bike so I could be biking by Charlie, napping outside, was 105 degrees out and it was absolutely terrible and the bike was like uneven on like a stone

but I did it because I'm like I need to figure out a way to make this work and like that's the kind of measures you have to go to like it's a non-negotiable it's discipline and it's again going back to being intentional that's all part of me being intentional parent is taking care of myself like I completely understand now how difficult to it is to take care of yourself and it's easy to put yourself on the back burner. But dang, the difference in days, like the, I mean, we're still not super consistent yet, but the days that I can just get up and take care of myself for a few minutes before Charlie wakes up, I am a completely different person. I did a podcast a few weeks ago talking about the difference between surviving

and thriving. That goes back to chapters and seasons of life. You don't, you, you're probably not to thrive in every chapter or season of your life. Yeah. But there's somewhere you're surviving. I would say right now, we're starting to thrive a little bit more. But like day zero of her being born on July 15th until like week six, it was pure survival. And we're still partly surviving. Yeah.

But I think that's a realistic expectation to set with yourselves and for other people. I think like a DM, I've been getting a lot. EM is like from one partner and I can tell the EM comes from like desperation. And it's one partner being like my partner doesn't understand that I need to work out like how do you guys do it? Like how are you okay? And I think I thought about this so many times like we both understand each other and we both know I know that if you don't get your morning run a few times a week, like you are not the Nick that I want to be around. I'm a piece of shit. And if you don't, if you don't, If you don't get a pump, a pump in, whatever you say,

that you are not the best version of yourself. And sometimes, yeah, that means I have to take care of all day and then start dinner because I know you didn't have time to do it, but you will be better if you do that. So I feel for partners, if you're not on the same wavelength, because I think we just get each other in that sense. You also know, too. Like, there's days where I'm like, all right, I'm not going to work out today

because I know he's had a stressful day and I don't want to just like strap Charlie to his chest when he gets home. But you come home and you're like, all right, give her to me. Now it's your time. And I think just seeing that and recognizing that in each other

has been huge. And it's, it would probably be easy to be selfish and be like, oh, you got dinner, cool. But you know that I'm a better part. I feel better and I'm a better partner to you if you give me that time. So it's been a lot of less quality time

with each other. but we're giving each other that kind of like solitude quality time for ourselves. It was like last night got home from dinner and we put Charlie down. And I just came back from this high protein, fat and carbohydrate meal. I was like, if I don't get a pump, I'm just, I'm wasting all this sodium and carbs circulating my blood right now. So we put Charlie down. I went into the home gym. I knocked down some pushups and some biceps.

which I had an epic pump. Which I didn't know where you were. This is a terrible example because you went missing. And then you came back in your pajama shorts and you were dripping sweat. I'm like, what were you just doing? I got a pump. Watching cops? I had to get a pump.

I honestly, I was so confused. You just came in with your pajama shorts on dripping sweat. You're like, yeah, I just did some picep girl. I'm like, whatever you got to do, honey. Well, when I wake up in the morning, I usually I work out in the shorts that I sleep in. Which is like so gross, by the way. Like, I don't want to talk about that.

No shoes, no socks. No underwear. Barefoot, no underwear. Which is dangerous. It's dangerous. There's no support in there. You do that to yourself. But I believe it's, it, you know, if I think about it, no support.

But without that support, I am building, stronger muscles down there. Okay. That's just a concept that I've Let's move on. Muddled on. Yeah. All right.

Next question. How has your work changed? I think this is targeted towards me. Are you taking on different roles or working less in certain areas of the business? So this kind of goes back to earlier when we were talking about, you know, what was been the hardest part about being a dad and a CEO of a company? you know, it's one thing to identify, like I said, issues or problems that you're experiencing, one of those being overwhelmed or, you know, redlined the way I described it.

So one of the things that I've done is over the last couple months made some strategic hires with experience of a very talented people that could, or that I could delegate some responsibilities, duties, and roles to within the business. which has been a tremendous help. It has helped scale and grow the company tremendously, also built and incorporated some key systems. We're also now implementing what is called EOS. It's called the entrepreneurial operating system.

I learned about it from Trey Freeman, our VP of marketing, through the book Traction. And EOS is essentially a system you implement in your business that holds people in positions accountable to scale a business based off of specific visions, targets, objectives, and milestones. So we've hired an EOS implementer. They are coming into the business to help our leadership team

implement EOS into BPN so we can scale appropriately without drowning in, work in the day-to-day. So that is one of the biggest things that I've changed. Those two things being strategic hires, delegating responsibilities, and implementing EOS into the business. And you have yet to see some of the results of those

because it will take a few weeks and months for a full implementation. But I've promised staff many times that... Systems are being put in place. Systems are being put in place to facilitate a change. Yeah. And I'm always looking for ways to optimize. And like I kind of said previously,

my goal is to be a more present husband and father. I can, I'm a pretty aware person and I can be pretty honest with myself in saying that, unfortunately the last couple years, because my head's been so down, focused on building this brand that I haven't been the most present

husband and we've had conversations about that and we've set expectations. Sometimes expectations are not met which we've both experienced but I think sometimes that there is some collateral damage in the process of building something

great and challenging but my goal now is to implement systems so I can be more present as a better husband and father. Yeah, I think that's probably been one of the biggest challenges for you. Like I said before, the enemy gets you specifically. And for you, you are not a patient person. Anyone who works with you knows that. When you want something, you wanted it five minutes ago.

I'm a visionary. That's one way to put it. You were not patient at all. which honestly has been a good thing for you, and I feel like it's kind of gotten you to where you are because you don't sit around and wait for things. You get things done, but there's also things you can't control, and you do a good job of controlling the controllables, like you always say.

But with parenthood, I think patience and being present in the moment are two things that are just required, whether you like it or not. And I think that's been a challenge for both of us. I consider myself to be a more. more patient person than you. But I'm patient in certain parts of life. Okay. For example, I'm patient in knowing that there's a process that has to be done to achieve

like this big ambitious goal. I'm not necessarily patient in the day to day. Right. And when you were a parent of a two-month-old, you're living your life day-to-day. So I think that's why you've been challenged. But I feel like you've seen so much growth from it. though. Like you, I've seen you grow, I've seen you grown into a more patient person, you know, not in a work sense, but in a personal life sense. Yeah, having a kid has definitely

challenged my weaknesses. Yeah, it forces you to slow down a little bit. Yeah, I would definitely say that. Like, it exposes, uh, it has exposed my weaknesses. Same for me. And has helped me identify, okay, there's some room for improvement. Yeah. How do I improve? What do I do? Like, how does the mindset change? How does my work schedule change? How does everything change to facilitate that? Yeah. All right. Next question. Would we like to have another kid after this experience? And what do you see yourself doing in 10 years as a family? I like that question a lot. Which part? Well, first off, we do want to have more kids. Yeah. It's tough.

but we want a big family. A lot of people are like, has this changed the number of kids you want? And honestly, we've talked about it. I don't know how many kids we're going to end up with. I'm not really sure. But no, absolutely. Like, I think a big family is the biggest blessing in the entire world. And I want that for us, 100%.

We need some time. Yeah, we need some time for sure. But we do want a big family. And like in 10 years, what do I see ourselves doing as a family? we kind of talk about us at dinner last night. We talk a lot about... The rules. Yeah, we talk a lot about

what we want our life to look like in the future because when we talk about that and we visualize it, we then start implementing things into our life to achieve that. But it's not necessarily like backwards planning. We don't say in 10 years, this is what life's going to look like. And we start planning accordingly to back up to where we're at. of like okay by you know may of 2024 we have to be here doing this by June of 2006 we got to be here doing that it's not necessarily like that but we naturally just start

taking the required steps to get to where we visualize our lives in the future and one of the things we were talking about last night is there's I think there's like this misconception that there's a certain way, like, life has to look. And again, going back to, like, you are in the driver's seat. You get to write the chapters. You get to choose what your life looks like and how you want to be interacting with your kids and your work and your relationships.

And I'd say in 10 years, ideally, I'd like to have more kids. I'd like to have some property. I think we both would like to be having a lot of fun with those kids and working and building things, but also taking the kids and traveling the world and exposing them to experiences in the world and give them hands-on practical experience

of how to live this fulfilled life. And I just want, I hope that our kids just gain this experience through living life through living life not through reading a bunch of books or going to school not saying I don't want them go to school

but I want them to understand cultures and people in food and fitness and health and education and all this stuff like fully submerged and if I can describe

what I think Charlie may look like in the future you know the movie Remember the Titans Remember? I haven't seen the whole movie That is like I forgot about that

But that is so depressing That you haven't seen that movie The daughter And remember the Titans The daughter to the assistant coach And she's like this tomboy But like She wasn't afraid

She told the football players How it is And And what to do And She was like confident And strong It's like man

that's what I imagine Charlie being like as a role model to her younger siblings maybe we have all girls I'd be cool with that same maybe we don't but we talk about a lot about what the future could look like sometimes we romanticize

about the future but I think it's healthy and I think it's important I think to capitalizing on every moment we've talked a lot about just today's day and age and screen time and filling how you fill your time with your children when there's not necessarily an agenda or something going on, just being intentional with those time gaps.

I know, again, that's easier said than done. Trust me, we're not there yet. I get it. But. You got to give them an etch-a-sketch. Do you remember? I do remember. I do. There are people that can actually, like, do the Mona Lisa on an etch-a-sketch.

I know. Do you remember? I'm going back. I'm putting us back on track. Do you remember this conversation we had at Peacock restaurant in Austin when I was pregnant? And this was like a big moment for me because we were talking. We were on the topic of iPads. And like, I feel like this is like a controversial topic. We're going to spark.

I don't even know. People just feel very passionate about iPads. We were talking about it. And I said something like, okay, yeah, well, I definitely only want the iPad in this scenario. and you're like, no, I don't want the iPads at all. And I'm like, whoa, we have to. And I'm like, whoa, I'm like brainwashed into thinking every child is like, they inherit an iPad at the age of whatever because that's what we've been seeing lately.

And you're like, we didn't have iPads. And I'm like, holy crap, you're right. We didn't have iPads. So when people say it can't be done, it can be done because we all didn't have iPads. And I think that's what we kind of stick to. Like, I want a childhood that we had for Charlie. Yeah, we're not doing iPads. We're not doing iPads.

We're doing, we're doing, check back with us. I'm telling you, we've talked about this. Like, there's a time in place for things like that. And it comes down to, are you going to put the time and energy and intention into, and planning, really, like we're going out to dinner. So I have to plan what Charlie's going to do if I'm not going to shove an iPad in her face. That takes extra time energy from our end, which I'm willing to do. And I will be willing to do because, again, that's non-negotiable.

But we've talked about, yeah, on a road trip. For me, I believe that screens should not be portable. I think they should stay in one place and it should be a moment thing. Like we're having a family movie night. We're going to put the movie on the projector or we're going to all like snuggle and make popcorn and have candy and make it this moment, this thing, right? Or like we're on a road trip. There's these screens in the back of the headrest and they stay there. They're not going to go with us into the bathroom and, you know what I'm saying?

Like there's these moments and these are just things that we're talking about and that are non-negotiables for us. And I hate when people are like, you just wait. The iPad's like a babysitter. Like it's going to save your life. We're going to figure it out. I'm going to have crayons,

coloring books, etch a sketch. There's so many things. Play-Doh. We're a Play-Doh. I do. You just have to not be, you just have to commit to not being.

I'm not going to say what I was thinking. I was going to use the L word lazy. But I just think it all comes down to intention and planning and choosing what's important to you and sticking with that. Easily. 100%. Remember I was telling you about that concept of a podcast with Charlie when she gets older? Yeah.

So I say Charlie is like, you know, four or five years? old. I thought of this podcast series where it's me telling, it's like, you know, say, this is how I imagine it. Charlie and I are sitting by a campfire, say, every Sunday night. And she has a microphone and I have a microphone. And I'm telling her stories, like the goal of this whole conversation I'm having with her is to teach her this lesson that we have experienced in life that we hope that she adopts and understands and learns. So it's built around like this story and it has this like lesson and value built in. And I record this podcast series and it's like talks with Charlie.

But every like Monday, for example, there's an episode that's released and it's all about a lesson or topic through stories that I'm telling Charlie. And then you know, she chimes in like, tell me more dad. So like that. Yeah. I think that'd be like a really cool concept. I think that's adorable. And she has like her hot chocolate and I have like a, you know, a margarita or something like that. Yeah.

Cute. Cute. By the bonfire. Talks with Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's how I envision teaching our children. Yeah.

I love it. Stories. And I also really quickly want to talk about our marriage because a lot of, of people asked, how are you making time for your marriage? Okay. We'll be real with that. Well, let's go into the marriage one first. Okay.

Yeah, a lot of people were like, how are you guys making time for yourself? How is your marriage changed? And we haven't figured that out yet. It's definitely, I definitely understand when people say, you know, your marriage kind of takes a spot on the back burner when you have a child. But, and I think a prime example is last night, like, I'm fully, willing to admit that like we haven't done the best job of figuring this out but we're also only two months in. I feel like I understand now when women are like, yeah, like you're laying next to your

partner and you like miss them. And I get that now because I'm like motherhood and parenthood, especially I think motherhood can be super isolating. And I understand now when people talk about how much it is on the mom in the first couple months, 100%. I mean, I can agree with that easily. Yes. And that takes a toll on your marriage. Absolutely. resentment bubbles, but like I think it comes down to communication. But I think one thing that I just want to, and I think we talked about this in the last podcast, and I want to remind myself of this too. And this might sound people won't like this, but whatever, on popular opinion.

Fug them. I think that I, we've, we've said this before. We said this when I was pregnant. You will, no matter how many children we have, you will always be my number one. I will always be your number one and Charlie will always be our number one. Our children will be our number one, if that makes sense.

I think if you put your partner behind anyone else, it's just going to crumble. I could totally see how that happens. Yeah, I could see that. And I said to you yesterday, when I was kind of having a harder day, I was like thinking to myself and being a parent has really taught me to meddle in my thoughts

and think before I speak because I'm constantly, even though Charlie's not watching me right now, like I said, I'm practicing because I know one day she is going to be watching me and she's going to be a little version of me. So I'm constantly mindful of that. So I've been really trying to think before I speak or act or maybe approach you in a way that I used to that I'm trying not to anymore. But yesterday I was thinking, why am I having such a hard day to day? Like, why do I feel? Like, Nick, you got home from a five-day trip. I should be like so happy and really. and like in a good mood. But I was having a really hard day yesterday

the first day you got back. And I'm like, I think it's because, I think not only because, but Nick got home and I was just so excited for you to be reunited with Charlie and like you ran right to her and like you loved on her. And it was so sweet and that's all I wanted.

But then I was thinking about it yesterday. And I'm like, well, wait a minute. I didn't really like even get like any love yesterday. Like I didn't get loved on. I want to get loved on when you get home from a trip. And I told you that. And I think. Maybe the old Nick and stuff, I think one of us may have gotten defensive.

I might have been like, I might have come at you and attacked you. But I like set it in a nicer way that like I realized that's what I needed. And what did you do? You said, I'm really sorry. You're right. I think that's growth. Yeah. I think it's just like realizing your needs and needs are ever changing, especially when you're a new parent and communicating that to you.

I would have loved on you. But as soon as I walked in, it was you, Charlie, your grandma and your mom. I know. But I think that's why I was a little... One guy, four girls. I know. But I'm just saying that I think that came into, you know, why I felt a little down yesterday. Because I just, we didn't get to connect.

We didn't get to reconnect and, like, speak to each other. And granted, yeah, we have like a household people right now. So it's not as easy. But making time is so important. I totally get it now. I get why it's more difficult. But I think I like, I still stand by my, you're my number one. I'm your number one.

Charlie's hour number one. I think it's why our date nights are so important. And some of our best conversation are actually driving to and from dinner. Yeah. It's one of the benefits of when we go downtown for dinner, I mean, it's a we have a drive. 45 minute drive. Some of our best conversations are spent coming from like dinner to come back home. Yeah.

And that's where we talk about what we want life to look like or currently experiencing like issues. It's never perfect, but I think we're both pretty good at identifying. We're very aware people. We can identify what we're doing wrong or what the other person might be doing wrong. We just address it. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about the pants question. That could be the last one.

You are going to skip the pants question. I was going to skip the pants question. Someone asked us, who wears the pants in our marriage? And we talked about this in the way home last night, and I loved our response. Okay. I just want to make... Because you said, you go,

okay, well, who do you think worth the pants? I want to make sure we navigate this one correctly.

I think we navigated it great. To make sure people don't take it out of context. So I think

historically, and I'm sure there are still people in relationships that feel this way, there's like this pride in,

it's like a competition who wears the pants than the relationship. Who's the alpha? Is it the guy? She's the girl. And, we had this conversation last night

because we were going through some of these questions that we asked on Instagram on the way back from dinner so we could talk about some of the responses that we might bring up today and one of the questions was who wears the pants in a relationship and I asked Steph also at the end of that question there was the little eyes emoji like ooh I know this is going to be controversial they knew and I asked Steph who do you think wears the pants in the relationship and

And I'll let you take lead on what we talked about. And I'll support and supplement. Yeah, I don't like that phrase to begin with because everyone, it's like outdated. And I just think it's not, it's not coming from a good place. I like, we talked a lot about we used the word lead last night. If we want to talk about it in the pants metaphor, I think we wear different. What did you want to be saying? I said, I think we each have a leg in the pants.

Yeah, and I think we wear different pants. It makes sense. I think that you have to look at your marriage, look at your family as a unit, and look at each individual in their strengths and let them lead in different lanes, which, again, like, you want to say, you wear the pants in this lane,

I wear the pants in this lane. There are certain things that you do way better as a parent, as a husband, as a human than I do. And I'm totally fine with taking the backseat in those areas. Like for us, financials, future planning, that's you, right? I would say that one of my strengths in leading the family is, you know, we talk a lot about what we want our life to look like in the future. One year, three year, five year, ten years, you make a plan to get us there.

We talk about that and we both agree, like, Yeah, this is where we wanted to look like. And then my job is now I'm going to go take the steps and make sure we get there. Yeah. That's where I believe I really take a lead in the family. 100%. I think that my strengths and where I lead are family is in relationships and quality time and family. Not that you have all of those core things, but your life moves faster than anyone's life that I've ever seen.

So sometimes you don't have that hat on. You don't think about that. And for me, I think I stay grounded in that. So I pride myself in leading our family and being family focused and quality time focused and building a home that we want for our children. Like that's where I think I lead the energy of, not the energy. I think we both lead the energy of our family. But just being like the grounding center, if that makes sense.

And also I think that I lead our family in faith. I'm like, all right, let's open this book. Let's pray over Charlie tonight. Like, yeah, we're tired, but I think you sit down. It wasn't like a conversation we had. I think it just naturally happens. It's not like, okay, Nick, I'm good at these things, so I'm going to take this. It just naturally happens and it just fall into a rhythm.

Like you lead different lanes. You wear different pants. I want to talk about it that way. I just think it's all about balance. I have a really good metaphor for this. Let me try to explain this. So in the beginning of this episode, we started talking about foundational values. Let's look at our family as a house.

Okay. And the foundation is our values. It's what we believe in. It's what we stick to. And we laid this foundation. It's faith. It's all those aspects that are foundational core of your family. and if one person tries to hold all the walls up at once,

it's like really, really difficult. Yeah. And imagine this person in the center of this room or this house, and all these walls have a string that are going to the center and this one person is trying to hold all these walls up. It's very difficult. So what do you do is, well, one person holds these walls up, another person holds these walls up and then the roof can sit on top and hold the whole house together.

So instead of pants, I think it's more appropriate to talk about what walls are we holding or supporting on top of the foundation to build a strong family or a strong house. Yeah, I love that. I just thought of that. It's great. Yeah. I think it connects to all those like bigger points and like the deeper points you talk about. But then there's also just like little day-to-day things that I am better at or I have more time to do. Like I think, I don't know, like travel, for example, like I handle all of the travel where we stay, what we do, the flights. So that's just something that like I do, right? Like just different areas of life.

And like you said, like you're really great at sitting us. down, being like where do we want to be, let's craft a plan to get us there and making sure we're taking care of. And I don't think there's no room for like power struggles in marriage. And if you let there be power struggles in marriage, it's not a good marriage. And we both block and tackle. Are you using a sports reference? No, but Kat was describing this the other day in terms of the business. Like we all have our lanes that we're accountable for.

Yeah. But like we're all also responsible to block and tackle things that pop up. up in a day. For example, like, I'm leaving the house. A dishwasher needs unloaded. I'm going to block and tackle that. I do that. I'm walking towards the door still. I look over into the laundry room and the dog's water and food is empty. I'm going to block and tackle that. I'm walking inside the trash and taken out. Block and tackle that. It's like we have our lanes of accountability, but we're also blocking and tackling together to make sure that the day to day gets done. being a parent brings out superpowers in you.

I'm really proud of us. I think we've done a really good job of keeping our values at the forefront of everything we do. And I think it's really easy to be down on yourself in the season. I think we've done a good job of encouraging each other and just being there for each other and I'm proud of us. I think, yeah. I think if one thing I've learned is we haven't been late.

easy yet. And I don't think that's in our DNA, as you say. It's not rooted. No. Well, eight weeks, four days? Nope. Almost 10 weeks. Two months? Four days? They all blur together. Yeah. Two months, four days. Charlie Grace Bear, born July 15th, 2012, Austin, Texas. That's right. It's Texan. All right. All right. Thanks for tuning in to a another episode. Steph, do you have any closing thoughts? I got to get back to this baby. All right. Thanks, guys. And we'll have Steffie back on soon. That's a wrap. Thanks. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bear Performance podcast. Please leave a rating and review on the platform you are listening to if you enjoyed it. It helps us to grow and reach more people with the intent of changing lives through the Go One More mindset.

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