The One You Feed - 500th Episode: Feeding Your Good Wolf with Listeners of the Show!

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

This is our 500th episode (!!!) and to celebrate the milestone, we decided to do something a bit different. In this episode, Eric and Chris reminisce about the very first episode of the show, and then we hear from many listeners of the show! We hear what the parable means to them, stories of their struggle and transformation, and what the show has meant to them. We would not still be doing the show if not for you, our dear listeners, and we thought it would be wonderful to feature you in this special episode. Let us know what you think about this special episode – if you like it, we’d love to do more! But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!When you purchase products and/or services from the sponsors of this episode, you help support The One You Feed. Your support is greatly appreciated, thank you!If you enjoyed this conversation, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Eric & Chris on FriendshipThe One You Feed – First Episode with George WatskySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And we are rolling. No mic check needed. This is the 500th episode. You would think by now we would know what we are doing. No. No. I cannot believe we have released 500 episodes. That's right. George Watsky, the rapper, was our first episode. I know. I still remember very clearly recording those first few episodes. And little by little, a little becomes a lot, as I like to say. Apparently, we are testament to that little saying.

Yes. So this episode is our 500th episode, and we're doing something a little different. We thought what we would do for this episode is hear from you, our dear listeners, instead of hearing from us or our guests, so much as making this about you, because we would not still be doing this after 500 episodes if it were not for all of you being out there listening. That's so true. We also wouldn't be doing it if it weren't for that song by the Proclaimers, I Will Walk 500 Miles. Oh, no, we actually probably would still be doing it. We still would. So what I thought we might start with is maybe let's just start with the quote that began the very first episode. This is George Watsky, and this is the very first thing anyone ever heard from The One You Feed.

I love life. I love living. I believe in good. I believe in beauty. But I also think that it's important not to turn a blind eye to all the messed up things that are going on in our planet. Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.

We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast

is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So that was the first ever quote of the very first episode. And now we're going to play the first ever response to the parable. Now we are not going to play the reading of the parable because boy,

was I rough at it in episode number one, but here is Watsky's response. Yeah. I mean, it's very profound. It's awesome. I mean, the first thing that springs to mind is just, I'm not a perfect person. I know that the capacity for evil exists inside me. I mean, the first thing that springs to mind is just I'm not a perfect person. I know that the capacity for evil exists inside me. I've seen it rear its head, but I also believe that every human being is good too. And as an artist and as a person, we get to choose on a daily basis what direction we want to take our lives and our art. And I've tried to do that with honesty. I've tried my best to do it with integrity every step of the way. I try to make the choices that I think I'm going to be able to live with and that my parents are going to be proud of me for. And I fail sometimes, but I'm very proud of the little empire and world

that we've built with our fellow artists that we're on the road with, you know? So I think that relates to everyone. You know, everyone is fighting a constant struggle for trying to let the good parts of themselves emerge and nobody's perfect. So that was a great response from George Watsky. That was the first parable response we ever recorded. And then Eric, are we going to head on now to some interviews and listener voicemails? Yeah, what we've got here are me interviewing a number of listeners about what the parable means to them and how they feed their good wolf, interspersed with some voicemails that we asked listeners to send in about what the show has meant to them. So we'll go back and forth between those things really for the rest of the episode.

And thank you, everybody, again for 500 episodes of the One You Feed podcast. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We are so grateful for your listening, for your support, for your friendship over all these years. And since we have the microphone set up, we're going to record the intro now for our 1,000th episode. No, that'd be it. I might be getting a little ahead of ourselves. Okay. Enjoy, everybody. Hi, Jane. Welcome to the show. Hi, Eric. Thanks for having me.

I am really excited to talk with you. You are one of the people over the years that I have gotten to know very well from doing the show. We've worked together in a variety of different ways. You've been a longtime listener, and I'm so honored to have you on. I'm happy to help celebrate 500. a longtime listener and I'm so honored to have you on. I'm happy to help celebrate 500. So let's start like we always do with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their grandchild and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. And the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops and thinks about it for

a second, looks up at their grandparent and says, well, which one wins? And the grandparent says, the one you feed. So I'd love to know what that parable means to you in your life. So I started listening to the podcast back in 2018, and I was in a really dark place then. And I would say that my bad wolf was pretty much running the show. And I had no concept of how to live with intention or how to live a values-based life. And when I started listening to the podcast, the parable and the conversations really spoke to something inside of me. And I think what set the podcast apart for me was that it wasn't just ideas and information because I had a lot of that.

I was in my 50s, but it was how to take those ideas and really translate them into practices. And over time, those practices just added up to some really significant change in my life for the better. So what the parallel has come to mean to me is that I get to choose. matter so what the parallel has come to mean to me is that I get to choose and that's just not something I ever knew before that on any given day and in any given situation I can ask myself who do I want to be in the world today or who do I want to be in this situation and I can't always decide what the day brings or what life is bringing to me at that moment, but I can always decide who I want to be and how I'm showing up and how I'm responding. And on the days that I'm choosing to respond with

kindness and love and joy and gratitude and connection, my life feels like expansion and I can move in the world in a much lighter way. What I've come to learn is that I still hold space for my bad wolf. And when those aspects are showing up, whether it be fear or anxiety or impatience or a really loud inner critic, that they almost always have something that I need to know. So it's not that I don't listen to my bad wolf anymore. It's just that she doesn't get to be in charge of writing my story any longer. That's so well said. And one of the things that we thought would be great about doing an episode with listeners is that a lot of times people will say to me well you know the people that you have on the show of course they know how to do this stuff they're best-selling authors right and one of the

things I've so admired about you over the years is you have not had an easy few years. And I'll let you share to whatever degree you are not comfortable because these are personal details. But I have watched you really work to feed your good wolf through challenges. And I think that's one of the really exciting things about this episode would be for listeners to hear about. Yeah, this is hard. And here's some of what I do. Is there anything you feel like you could share in that area? It's been a pretty challenging few years. I lost my mother. We dealt with COVID several times. I have a son who struggles with mental illness. I've had pretty significant health issues. I struggled with addiction for a very long time. So I've had some significant challenges. But what I've learned is if I just keep relying on the practices and keep showing up in a consistent way, that over time, change isn't linear and it isn't easy, but it is possible.

What are some of the practices that you use to feed your good wolf? Meditation and time and stillness, preferably outside, is probably one of the most key things. I try to move my body every day. I look for the good and I notice moments of awe in life. That's really important to me. I have some morning rituals that are key. I intentionally practice kindness. I have joy and gratitude practices that I rely on every day. Those are some of the things. And a new one for me is actually connecting with other people. That's the way that I feed my good wolf. Yeah. You have done some really amazing things with kindness over the last few years. Share with me how and why kindness has been such an important

part for you of feeding your good wolf. I think that it was always one of my values, but when I started intentionally practicing kindness, it became a true spiritual refuge for me. And it just reminds me of who I want to be in the world. It's back to that bad wolf, good wolf. It's the essence of who I want to be in the world. It's back to that bad wolf, good wolf. It's the essence of who I want to be in the world. And when I'm intentionally practicing kindness, it's just a reminder of this is what matters. And this is who I want to be. So one of the things that I learned from you that I have since used with a number of clients, and I think it's a beautiful way of thinking about making progress is instead of just counting consecutive days of sobriety in your recovery, you've done something different.

Yes. One of my morning rituals is back in April of 2019, I started a marble jar. And for every day I was sober, I put a marble in the jar. And what I loved about that is I wasn't always sober. So on the days that I wasn't, I just didn't add a marble, but I didn't take anything away either. And over time, those marbles are now over a thousand marbles in the jar. And it's just a visual reminder of when my inner critic does get loud or when I think I can't do something, it's a visual reminder of, yes, you can, Jane. I love that practice because I've talked about it on the show when we've interviewed addiction experts about how I understand why we count consecutive days in recovery. There is something to be said for the length of time you are away from a drink,

but I also think it really is an all or nothing metric. And it really does not allow us to see that we can be making a huge amount of progress. Like to your point, you've got over a thousand marbles in there, which means the vast, vast majority of days you've been sober. If I had to guess, it'd be 97% plus or whatever. But if we graded that on 100% scale, it would look like I'm not doing well, which is what the abstinence scale is. And I just love the way you do that. Because A, we know that tracking progress is important. Yes. And we also know that, as BJ Fogg says, we learn better by feeling good than feeling bad.

And looking at a jar full of marbles is a way to feel good. It's a really powerful reminder of what I'm capable of. Yes, trust me, you are. Would you be willing to share a little bit about what making connections has meant to you? Yeah. Making connections has been a really important part of feeding my good wolf. And that's something new in my life because I just didn't have a lot of connection. I didn't think I was worthy of connection. And one of the things that the podcast brought me was to the spiritual habits program and the spiritual habits program gave me a chosen family. And the connections that I've made in the One You Feed community

are among the most cherished relationships in my life now. And in my mid-50s, my life is full of connection and meaning and love and acceptance. And the One You Feed has been really instrumental in bringing me to this place. Well, thank you, Jane, for spending a little bit of time to share with us what the parable means to you and the practices that you have put into your own life and the work that you've done to bring yourself to a better place. So thank you so much. Thank you. Hi, Eric, Jenny, Chris, Nicole. This is Elisa calling from Northern California. And I just

wanted to say thank you so much for the podcast. I absolutely love it. I look forward to seeing a new episode in my feed. It's my favorite podcast. And anyone that knows me knows this. I'm constantly sending episodes to friends and family members, especially my children. And yeah, I discovered the podcast in January of 2020 at the perfect time. The Pete Holmes episode was the first episode I listened to. And I remember I was about to go on oh my God, I love the wolf parable. And I love wolves. And that's honestly what pulled me in and seeing that Pete Holmes was the guest. So I gave it a download, gave it a listen, and literally have not stopped listening since. and literally have not stopped listening since. So thank you so much for continuing to just provide quality entertainment information. I've really enjoyed participating in Spiritual Habits, Circle of Connection, and even getting some coaching from Eric. So I'm just really appreciating

you all and congratulations. Thank you. I'm going to keep listening and feeding my good wolf. Hello, Eric. This is Colleen from Rosemary, Quebec. I really appreciate your interview style on your podcast. I find the conversations with guests enlightening, even when the same topic comes up again and again, such as the dilemma over whether to accept negative thoughts and feelings or find ways of influencing them. Thank you so much for the positive influence that you've had on my life. I look forward to the podcast each week,

and I hope you'll continue to produce it. Hi, Eric. Hi, Chris. I almost didn't record this again because I felt like it would be redundant and just not very eloquently put as all your episodes are. But I do feel a pull to send a message to y'all because your podcast has truly changed my life. And I've lived in my 20s with your podcast. I'm now 27. I started to listen to your podcast when I was in college at 22. I was having a lot of anxiety, a lot of panic attacks,

gone through a lot of hardships in my life. And your podcast just gave me the tools that I needed and gave me hope and helped me live my life better. And my relationships are just completely different. My life is different. My mind, my brain is different. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, from all of the people in my life. I thank you for all that you've given, all the time that you've invested, all the intentions that you've placed with each episode, each author, each book that you've decided to interview. Those books have changed my life.

And the ones that I've been able to read so far have changed my life. And I am going to always be grateful. And I know that one day I'm going to be able to give back in the way that you have. And so I'm just so glad that I've crossed paths with this podcast. I'm so glad that I know you and I hang out with you every week. So thank you. Bye. Hi, PJ. Welcome to the show.

Hi, Eric. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. Thank you for being here. You're somebody that I've gotten to know through the Spiritual Habits programs and through being a listener of the show. And I know listeners are going to love the chance to get to know you also. But let's start like we always do with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparent who's the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life. Yeah, thank you. I've heard so many people answer that. So

hopefully I do it justice. But I don't think actively how I strategically kind of feed my wolf. I think of kind. And when I had situations, I would wrap my hands around my brain and try and figure everything out. And that just made things worse. So finding things like mindfulness meditation, you know, different aspects of spirituality have really, really helped. It's allowed me to kind of take my hands off of the control aspect of it, which really allows me to be a bit more present, see my thoughts, see my emotions in a more conscious manner. And of course, it's still there. There's the pain, but maybe not as much suffering. And then I can build better habits. So it all starts with that for me, being present, being mindful. And then all of the, of course, challenging things that go along with building habits

aren't easy either, but it starts with the mindfulness. And so you're saying that for you, there's been a fair amount of mental health issues with OCD and anxiety. It sounds like some of it is not doing for you. It's letting go of the expectation that things would be a certain way. Yes. And how I handle that thought or sensation, because I would wrestle with it. It should not be this way. And sometimes it's just,

unfortunately, an uncomfortable feeling. But the less I wrestle with it, whether it's anxiety or OCD, generally, the less my mind hangs on to it. But it's an ongoing challenge. And kind of keeping up with my practices and doing things physically for my body, eating right, you know, exercising, all those things. It's a number of different things, but the less I'm trying to force it to be a certain way, usually the better it goes. And it was mind blowing how much my mind is naturally doing on its own and picking up on things and, you know, preparing for things. For me, personally, at least, I don't need to give it that much more incentive. It's very dialed into

what's going on. So for me, personally, that is a good strategy. Now, I'm sure it's different for everybody on how their brain handles different stimuli. But for me, that strategy works best. You referenced a couple things there, eating well, exercise. So what all are the habits that you referenced that broadly speaking, support your mental health? Yeah, so mindfulness meditation, first and foremost. And the other things probably are not rocket science, running, I started playing tennis recently, exercising, not eating crap too much. Now I definitely do. And I think an important thing is you're never feeding your good wolf 100% of the time. And I'll have weekends or

times where it's like, wow, that was awful. And I feel like crap because of it, or I miss mindfulness and I feel awful after a long stretch. And that kind of is a trigger to me that you need to get back with it. So those are some of the things. And I think one of the things is also begin doing those habits, starting small and not having big expectations. I got to a point where I was doing mindfulness for 15, 20 minutes, which was longer for me. But then I more recently had to go back to five minutes. So starting small, something you talk about a ton is a simple concept, but it's really

powerful. How do you find mindfulness meditation work for you with OCD disorder, right? It sounds like, boy, it could be hard to sit there with a brain kind of really spinning because that's the nature of your OCD. Yours is less about like the, I've got to touch something 30 times. It's more about the obsessive thoughts. So talk to me about how that works with mindfulness meditation for you. Yeah. And mindfulness is not the only treatment for OCD. ERP is very popular and I do kind of a blend of those. But mindfulness is helpful for me because it allowed me to get a little separation from my thoughts and see them for what they are. One of the things really challenging with OCD is

these thoughts are so invasive and often so off the wall, something you would never want to think, but they're really invasive. So getting that separation gave me a little bit of distance. And for me, at least the emotional response also dropped a bit. Again, it doesn't mean I don't do compulsions. It doesn't mean there aren't other ways to help treat it, but doing mindfulness and seeing those thoughts for what they are, and they do eventually always go away. Some are much more challenging than others, but just seeing that it was just mind-blowing for OCD or anything, just how invasive they can be, but also how kind of transient they are. So it kind of gave me that perspective. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, PJ,

for taking the time to share a little bit with us about how you feed your good wolf. Thank you, Eric. And I've listened to the podcast since I was struggling pretty hard with some of these things and I'm still working on them. It's still a work in progress, but thank you for all you do for people like me or anyone listening, trying to improve their lives a bit. Well, we are all a work in progress for sure, aren't we? Absolutely. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden.

And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you, and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth.

Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello,

Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, Really. No Really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really

and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Congratulations to the wonderful One You Feed team on 500 episodes. This show has been a life-saving, life-changing resource. It is the number one bit of media that I recommend to friends when they're going through hard times. And I guess in that way, hopefully the wonderful work that Eric is leading ripples across from person to person to person. So thank you, Eric, for sending that transmission out there and making the world a better place for all of us. My name is Kerry. I live in Edinburgh in Scotland. And the One You Feed means a great deal to me.

It actually helped me get through an extremely tough time in my life. It was during the pandemic. My partner and I were getting ready to go home to our respective homes of Ireland for me and Spain for her. And her father really sadly suddenly died. It was very painful and sad. And for myself, it actually opened up a lot of trauma because my own father had died when I was 11 on Christmas Day. And, you know, we're all sort of, defences are weak during the pandemic. So I really wasn't prepared for that kind of trauma. I went back to Ireland to try to get to Spain to go to the funeral.

I couldn't get there. So I was in Ireland for a wee bit of time, actually. And I couldn't get access to therapy and really, really needed it. So just Googled, you know know kind of self-help and through that then found the one you feed and honestly I tell so many people it really carried me through that really difficult time and I listened to it constantly in in the morning when I was cooking in the bath I had to listen to it to go to sleep. I couldn't get to sleep any other way. And just having that kind of pillar and that advice and allowing myself to kind of learn from people who've gone through really tough experiences and,

you know, they were okay and exploring all these different parts of myself and the strength that I didn't really realize I had, which and the strength that I didn't really realize I had which is so important whenever I didn't feel strong at all I felt so anxious actually the anxiety part really had taken over me and the one you feed you know the topics that were discussed the speakers and the host it was just really such a support pillar as I say so I'm kind of life-changing So yeah, thank you to the one you feed. Please keep making the podcasts. Even after hundreds and hundreds of times of listening to the parable, I still agree with so much and have different sort of thoughts on how I

interpret it. But I find it really difficult to move into that next step of kind of applying it to my life. So I always look forward to thinking about it more and I really want to move into action to make sure that I'm kind of applying it to my life in the right way. My name is Emily. I live on Vashon Island in Washington State and I've been listening to The One You Feed for a really long time. I don't even know how long, but years. One of the first podcasts I ever started listening to, and I've been a listener and a supporter ever since. I feel like every week I pick up some little nugget or not so little nugget of wisdom that I really apply in my life. So thanks for all you guys do. It's really made a difference.

Hi, Bodhi. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. It's great to be on the show. Yeah. You are coming to us from Australia. Yeah. What part? Brisbane. We're on the sort of outer margins of Brisbane. I have been surprised by how popular we have been in Australia in comparison to some other places. We have a lot more listeners in Australia than I would think for the size of Australia. So for whatever reason,

we've always resonated over there. So thank you. We're a more introspective bunch than people probably give us credit for, I think sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've also had a number of coaching clients from Australia and one of these days we're going to get over there because it seems like my kind of place. So, yeah, it is a beautiful place. It's real too. I know that some people in America believe that we're a hoax. Well, I do. I can assure you all that I don't get paid to pretend Australia exists. All right. All right. There you go. There you go. I actually did not know that people in the US thought Australia was a hoax, but I am not at the same time surprised.

So let's start like we always do with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparent, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life. Yeah, sure. It's a parable that I've loved for a long time. Part of what attracted me to show was that it's called The One You Feed. And so I knew that it would be feeding the good wolf, just listening to it with such a title. My experience of the parable is a very ground level one, I suppose, just of how it applies in my daily life. And the quality that comes to mind at the moment is gratitude. In thinking about speaking to you, I suppose, just of how it applies in my daily life. And the quality that comes to mind

at the moment is gratitude. In thinking about speaking to you, I was thinking of an experience I had recently where I woke up in the morning, there was no problems. Me and my family were getting along well, work was fine, everything was fine, but I woke up feeling super negative. I realized that there was no reason for it, there'd been no trigger, that I must just be in a habituated state. And I've been practicing a gratitude journal for around three months or so. I've been really committed to it. I've been doing it every day. And I just decided this morning, I'm over this, sick of it. There's no need for this. Seems spontaneous almost. I just decided to flood my brain with thoughts of all the things I'm grateful for. And it didn't even take long for it to have an effect, but it totally transformed my mood.

I went into a flow state. I went about getting ready for work in a really joyful way. And I had a great day. That for me is a story about how feeding the good wolf over time, it means that quality grows, you know, and that gratitude becomes more spontaneously accessible and naturally and inevitably leads to positivity and optimism and joy, even in that case, just the general acceptance that I'd been in a bad mood, that happens. And I was able to transform it. There's a bunch of things in that story that I think are illustrative. I think one is, like you said, there's just sometimes we wake up and we're like, I don't even know what it is.

But part of what is cool about that was you had the wherewithal to think about it and reflect and go, okay, well, I guess this is just a habitual tendency. And so right there, I think by just recognizing what was happening, you did some good work there. And then from there, I think by just recognizing what was happening, you did some good work there. And then from there, I love that, you know, on one hand, part of you was like, all right, this gratitude stuff, I'm done with it. It's not doing any good. And yet, like you said, all that time you had put in sort of was building towards something positive that then you were able to leverage when you needed it. It was quite a surprise, to be honest. The transformation was immediate. I didn't have to spend five minutes thinking of the things I'm

grateful for. Just the act of deciding to change that mood caused a flood of its own, really. Yeah. And my experience is there are times like a practice doesn't really do much of anything, and then it seems like it's magic for a little while, and then it stops doing anything again. And we kind of go up and down with this stuff, but I think that's part of the journey. So what are some of the other things you do that you think help you feed your good wolf? Lately, I've been very into mindfulness, partly because I'm doing the course with Ginny. But I remember learning through Buddhism some time ago that when we spend time in mindfulness and we allow the obscurations come and fall away or rise and dwell

and fall away, as they say, I think. We find that naturally the good qualities present themselves because that's our true nature. And so at the moment, that's helping a lot. I'm just finding that through mindfulness, I'm less attached to feeling negative. I'm less attached to interpreting things as personal attacks or peeves or triggers. I'm also doing a practice, the type of mindfulness, I suppose, called the silent observer meditation, where I just try to imagine the mind as the sky, you know, the sky metaphor and thoughts are just clouds. And so I imagine the mind as the sky and I try to not interact with the thoughts. And that's also giving me space in my daily life. I'm noticing that, you know, the Frankl quote about stimulus and response and the space between

them. I think that's the most beneficial practice for me at the moment is cultivating that space so that when a negative thought or a negative emotion comes up, I'm just more spontaneously able to recognize that it's kind of a fiction and I can choose to read it as I like. It's disempowering these compulsive tendencies and I'm just naturally feeling a bit more peaceful, joyful, almost less about feeding the good wolf than it is about just disabling the ferocity of the bad wolf. It's a dichotomous metaphor, I suppose, but there are nuances in between and things that fall outside the spectrum altogether.

Not that I'd be able to name any of those, I don't think. But really at the moment, it's about finding the space between the two to stop them fighting, maybe. I'm trying to flog the metaphor now. Yeah. Well, I think so much of what you're talking about is recognizing these habitual patterns of mind. I think so, yeah. You know, just recognizing like, oh, yep, okay, that's what my mind is doing. It doesn't mean it's necessarily correct. It doesn't mean it's necessarily true. It's just something that's happening. Can I step back a little bit and observe it and then respond as wisely as possible? Back to the story you started with strikes me as sort of a spontaneous, wise response to, okay, the emotional weather inside for whatever reason isn't good. And then a response by seeing clearly what happened, a response came forth.

Yeah. And the response is almost always more positive because of the practices that have been building the space for that. And I just also realized though, that something else that's helping a lot is I'm doing my best to prioritize sleep over productivity or sleep over gaining a sense of achievement out of my day. The window of tolerance came up in the class this morning, outside of which we stopped being able to cope. I can't remember the other words, but as I get older and less able to high function on minimal sleep, I'm noticing that if I neglect that aspect of my physical wellbeing, there's almost no hope of finding that space. I get way more irritable, impatient, self-critical, all of this stuff just reels its head really weight and no

amount of willpower or anything can transform it. We interviewed a woman years ago and she said something that stuck with me, which was basically, if you don't take care of your physical experience, you know, whether you don't sleep, you don't eat well, you don't move your body, you know, you're going to feel like crap in some way. Now, the way that manifests may filter through your unique mental disposition or psychological disposition. But the body, if it doesn't feel good, it's gonna show up mentally. And I think that is was more physically resilient when I was younger that I didn't notice that. Or maybe that's why I was such a basket case when I was younger. I don't know. But I certainly have recognized like, yeah, I've got to take care of myself physically. As boring as that is, as boring as like, get enough sleep. You know, I feel like so much of this stuff, I start to feel like, you know, it's like your mother, like get enough vegetables, get enough sleep. The stuff really does matter. Do you know what I'm more bored with though?

What's that? The low hum of suffering that comes from not being responsible and disciplined enough to just do what your mother said and go to bed early and eat your vegetables and the rest. Yes. Amen. Yep. I really enjoy looking after myself. Some of my biggest frustrations come from genuinely not having enough time in the day to do that sometimes like especially in my work at the moment because of the distance to the sites you know i do an eight hour day but by the time i've got up to get ready for work traveled there etc etc it's a 14 15 sometimes 16 hour day and then you've got eight hours sleep to grab right so like there's literally not enough time to do all

the self-care. So on the days that I do have off work, I work part-time. I went to part-time so that I would have more time to do this because the wellbeing reward that comes from doing that self-care is just way more exciting than how boring it is to go to bed on time. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. What's more boring is the low hum of suffering. That's great. Well, Bodhi, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me and talk with the listeners. I much appreciate it. Thank you too. Hi, Eric, Chris, and Ginny. I've been listening to The One You Feed for many, many years now. I'm an Australian who lives in London and I've hardly ever missed

an episode. In the midst of my chaotic everyday life with full-time work, two kids, it's always been my go-to safe haven each week. When walking to and from work or whenever I get a free second, I look forward to listening to Eric and his amazing, inspiring guests. The show really is an integral part to aid me with useful tools and practices on my spiritual journey. It helps ground me even if for a split second. At the beginning of the year after much contemplation I also took the spiritual habits program. This was a great experience with many useful and achievable tools on how to install spiritual habits. I especially find it helpful to have access to these recordings whenever I need a little reminder. I really wanted to thank, especially Eric, from the bottom of my heart for all the amazing work

you do on yourself and in turn inspire me every day to be a better spiritual being, mother, partner, daughter, and friend. Thank you and keep doing what you're doing. It's amazing. Hi, Eric. This is Marilyn from Oklahoma. I've been listening to your podcast for many months, and it's hard to even pick out all the ways it's been helpful for me. When I was thinking about recording this message, it made me smile a little bit because your weekly teaching song and poem, you're always expressing your gratitude. And it made me realize how hard it is to express gratitude. When things matter so much to you. It seems like the words fail. So I thought I could at least give you some examples of how it's helpful for me to listen

to your podcast and to listen to you. One way, really important way is watching you expose yourself and be vulnerable over and over is impressive and something to shoot for in my life. I really appreciate that about you, that you show up as who you are, and I'm sure lots of darts and arrows can come your way. So I really appreciate that about you, about how you do it, not just every once in a while, but all the time, which is even another level of something. So thank you for that. There are a lot of episodes that have meant stuff to me and have sent me off in, I think, really good directions in my life. But I will say one that has made a profound impact was one that you did about chronic pain. I forget the name of the guy now, but it has to do with

pain reprocessing therapy and the studies that were done with the Boulder Back Pain Study. And anyway, you know which one that is. So that has been an incredibly helpful thing to have learned about through your podcast. And I've started to employ that in my life and it's made a difference and not just in pain, but really it can be applicable to so many things beyond pain. So again, I'm exceedingly grateful for the opening that that particular podcast provided for my life. So I'll let it go with that, but I hope you just keep doing what you're doing. Hi guys, my name is Mario and I live in Denver, Colorado. The one you feed has been life-changing. I went through a very sad breakup a couple of years ago and then right

after that COVID hit. So you can imagine the state of depression and despair I was in. Thankfully, I came across the one you feed. You guys helped me feel connected to you. You made me feel valued. You made me company when I most needed it. On top of that, the knowledge I'm getting from you guys, from Eric, Jeannie, the guest speakers, it's resurfacing my inner light and I am turning into a more compassionate, loving, selfless human being. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like a totally different person from two years ago. So much more improved thanks to you. Hi, Debra. Welcome to the show. Hi there.

I am really excited to have you on. Now, I've gotten to know you through some of the different programs that we do and through being a listener of the show. And so I'm excited to let you share some of what works for you in your life to feed your good wolf. But let's start like we always do with a parable. There's a grandparent. The one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you, what does that parable mean to you in your life? Well, it's come to me a lot different than when I first heard it before I started listening to the podcast, of course. And now for me, it just has such a special meaning of like connection because I've taken like the parable

itself to just reflect on my whole experience and community with the One You Feed community. And it's just given me the words that come to mind are connection and opportunity and love. So all those Goodwill features have really just expanded and, you know, my horizon on them has just broadened so much, which is awesome. And then of course there is always the other wolf, there's always the bad wolf. And so I can acknowledge the bad wolf and I can definitely just have such a better perspective on what the bad wolf is trying to tell me and trying to teach me and trying to help me with. So it's just a lot about learning and love. And I love that it's like a grandparent teaching their grandchild because that just represents so much love and learning to me. So that's my answer.

Thank you. So maybe share with me some of the ways in which working to feed your good wolf has helped you deal with challenges in your life. good wolf has helped you deal with challenges in your life? Yeah. So my bad wolf was always more dominant, I think for me. So I think working with the good wolf is like recognizing what the bad wolf is saying, like all these things like jealousy, you know, cause if these things come up, I can look at them and understand them more. And I can work with my good wolf to again, have a better perspective on, we always talk about what could this mean? And that's just been like a really significant saying or question that I can ask myself, like, what does this mean? And what am I making it mean? And I'm able to

find new things for it to mean, you know, it doesn't always mean these negative thoughts. It doesn't always mean that I'm behind the curve or, you know, it just opens up what life means. Yeah. Learning to be a little more flexible with, like you said, what am I making this mean? Events occur. And as humans, we are meaning making machines and right away something happens and we give it a meaning and recognizing like that we're doing that and then saying, okay, well, what am I making this mean?

And what else can I make it mean is such a useful tool. Yeah, totally. And then it just gets me also like, it just gets me more excited to expand my good wolf and recognize the things that do feed my good wolf and continue to do them. What are some of those things for you that help you feed your good wolf? What are some of the practices that you do? Well, to be honest, it's, as we know, I'm a fourth timer in spiritual habits and coming every Sunday and just showing up and listening. And it doesn't matter what mood I start in. When I leave these discussions, I feel so uplifted and so like ready to take things

on no matter what it is. And whatever struggles or challenges I might've been having seems so much smaller. So coming to the groups and the courses has, has definitely been something that I do for the past couple of years. And it's just so great. What about outside of those? Well, just my life perspective is much more open. I was telling someone in our small group yesterday, like I've noticed over the past, I don't know,

year or so, I've gotten the most meaningful random compliments from people of just how I present myself and my attitude on life. And that to me is like so heartwarming and just such a compliment. So I like that. And I know it has to do with the way I've been learning these practices and stuff and actually putting these practices into my life. I think that was, you know, something that was really challenging at first because you take a course, you know, I definitely, I was like, okay, I'm going to take this course and everything's going to be fine. And my life's going to be great. And, uh, you know, here I am taking it for the fourth time. And I realized like, yeah, my life is great and things are better and it's not a one and done,

you know, it's like, it's just an ongoing practice, which is kind of cool to finally realize that and accept it. Yeah. I will always say this, that it was very, very grateful, obviously for you and for the courses and for the podcast. And I will always say this, that it was very, very grateful, obviously, for you and for the courses and for the podcast. And I definitely, I started off as a podcast listener and I used to work out in this solo gym, like no one else was in there. And I would listen to the podcast. And every time I'd be like, God, I just want to talk to these people. I just want to talk to these people. And so to have this opportunity is like, you know, something that I'm so happy about to say dream come true. I don't know if that sounds cor to have this opportunity is like, you know, something that I'm so happy about to say dream come true. I don't know if that sounds corny, but it is like something that I

put my mind to and it kind of came to fruition. So opportunity is there for everyone anywhere with whatever it is that people want to do. And that's something I've gained from this too. Excellent. Well, thank you so much, Debra, for spending a couple minutes with us and sharing, you know, some of what you do to feed your good wolf. Thank you. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really.

Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Maureen, and I live in Munich, Germany. I've been listening to The One You Feed for about a year and a half. Germany. I've been listening to The One You Feed for about a year and a half. And I found this podcast to be so relevant to my ongoing struggles that it's been kind of a go-to for me for support

and perspective. And through The One You Feed guests, I've discovered so many tremendously useful sources of information and jumping off points. Since first listening to the podcast, my personal interpretation of the parable has evolved over time quite a bit and what's been transformative for me is to change how I see the bad wolf and now see the bad wolf as not really bad but but feral it's greedy because it worries that it won't have what it needs it's angry and fearful fearful because it's hurt. And I think it sees itself as the protector, as the stronger one. In the past, I think I tried to beat it into submission, which obviously doesn't work. It just makes it more fearful and more aggressive.

Today, I try to treat that wolf more kindly, to parent it in a way, to hear what it has to say, to comfort it as much as I can, and focus on nourishing the good wolf so that it's strong enough to take the lead and that the bad wolf can safely step back. Hi everyone, this is Morag from San Diego, California. I am really excited to share in the celebration of the 500th episode of the One You Feed podcast. This podcast has been so influential in my everyday life and the range and diversity of the different topics that gets discussed each week. I always look forward to listening in and gaining some great insight from the content being discussed. I love that Eric and Jenny get to the heart of the matter with all the discussions and

so that I always feel as if I walk away with some great information that I can use right there, right now in my everyday, quite often crazy schedule of a life. So thanks to everyone at the One Year Feed podcast. I have been listening now, an avid fan for several years, and I can quite honestly say it is my absolute favorite podcast of all time, undoubtedly. Thanks everyone and have a great day. Morning, Eric. So great to talk to you. Congratulations on your 500th episode. Quite an accomplishment. We've met at two of your lectures in Rocky River, Ohio. And at one of them, I brought my stepdaughter. We both listened to a talk on getting unstuck and getting things done. And I really liked your system and I have incorporated many of those tasks and ideas. Really, as a family, we really value you because

I've also told my three sons about you. And one of my sons, Austin, has contacted you for it by phone and continues to listen to your podcast, as does my other son, Eric. And I would tell you, this is my number one podcast I recommend to friends. For one thing, your parable taps into such important start on self-reflection, which I think is lacking nowadays. It's so important to begin with self-reflection. I think your guests are excellent, engaging, they're smart, they have great ideas. And I would say a third thing I love about you is that you're so darn approachable. You really share your vulnerabilities. You don't come on like, hey, I've got it all together. What's wrong with you? And that's what keeps people coming back. I feel like you're a friend of mine only because I hear your voice

all the time. And I will continue to support this podcast. Congratulations. I hope you and Jenny are doing great. She's also a sweetheart. And keep going on this journey because I think you're helping a lot of people. I think you're really spreading love. Love for self, love for one another.

I think the world needs much more of Eric Zimmer and the one you feed. So keep up the good work and congratulations. Bye now. Hi, Charlie. Welcome to the show. Hi, Eric. Great to be here. I'm really excited to have you on and get a chance to talk with you. And we'll start like we always do with a parable. There is a grandparent, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do. I found this podcast in early 2021, so I'm very familiar with this. You know, I never thought of how I would answer it. The first thing that comes to mind for me really is you reinforce what you constantly do. So, you know, one thing that's really been present for me

is what you focus on, that becomes more or less your reality. And with, you know, everything related to the bad wolf, I've really changed my perception of that to be an all-inclusive, like a holistic form. I've really learned to try to understand, well, why am I saying he's bad? If it's in me, that bad wolf is also trying to show me something. It's trying to elucidate a

point that maybe I'm calling it bad, but if it's in me, is it really bad? Or is it just a different take on something that might be uncomfortable or something I term as quote unquote negative or something like that? So I'm really trying to take a more holistic, healthy view of the partnership between the good wolf and the bad wolf and understand how they work together to make my life healthier, more wholesome and more fulfilling. That's great. And so you're really looking at what are those energies trying to tell you? I think so. Yeah. And the positive ones, focus on them more, reward them, keep doing them as much as you can.

But the bad ones, don't be afraid of them. I think for a lot of my life, especially with regards to the emotional side coming up, I think I've learned a lot to, in ACT they call it, diffusing for expanding as needed. And I think the bad wolf is really, can be a compass or like a guide or a flag. they call it diffusing for expanding as needed. And I think the bad wolf is really, can be a compass or like a guide or a flag. I mean, those uncomfortable feelings can be so brutal when they come up that let's take a pause, step back and see what is this trying to tell me,

be curious about them and learn from the bad wolf. As you were talking, I was thinking the bad wolf, it's the energies come up and the emotions. And those are, as we would say, neither good nor bad. They're just feelings. It's the response to them that we might say is more or less skillful. I've joked on the show before that I like the term skillful and unskillful better than bad and good, but a skillful and unskillful wolf parable just really doesn't have a lot of teeth in it, right? But I think that's what you're saying is, you know, how do I not immediately turn away from the negative emotions, but learn to work with them skillfully? Yeah, I think that's a great summary of that. So can you think of any challenges in your life that working with these ideas from the show have helped you overcome or deal with differently? Yeah, 100%. Actually, this is something I've been

meaning to kind of bring up to you and Ginny. It's really in career type things. And also, I think, and more importantly, personal and romantic relationships where I guess I don't really have a great design of what a healthy romantic relationship looks like all the time. And I've taken so many of the principles and applied them directly to, you know, relationships with others, even friends and family, I should add in that category. But really, I think in the romantic realm, that's one of my main focuses over the course of the past couple of years, you know, having just turned 40, not having a wife or kids yet, I have a girlfriend, but we have our issues and, you know, just working through all of those,

I think it's made me a healthier, more well-adjusted kind of like, okay, what do I want? What are these deep feelings coming up? So I've applied nearly every podcast to romantic relationships. And if, you know, if a course in that ever came up, I'd be all in. And I have a thought in mind to go back to school to get an MSW and really study modern relationships and things like that. So I think I am light years ahead in that realm of my life due to some of the principles that I've learned and I'm trying to work into daily life. I had a friend and him and his wife were having struggles and they asked me if I would coach the two of them together. And I did that for a little while and I quickly realized like, that's a different thing than the sort of

individual coaching that I do. I quickly learned like, okay, but the same principles really do apply across the board. You know, the big one being kind of back to what you said earlier is like being aware of what's coming up within me, recognizing it, not having to suddenly have a reaction to make it go away. And then thinking about, all right, how do I want to respond? Right. Those layers of your personality, your family, your closest friends and your romantic relationship, I think they get right in there and trigger that the deepest, darkest stuff, which is often places that we don't dwell in.

You know, whatever the issue is, I don't think people naturally delve or even are aware of, you know, trauma that came up in childhood that is still playing out in their daily lives, that that comes up all that often, you know, email at work can do it, I guess, but like email and going to the grocery store doesn't, hopefully it doesn't drag up, you know, your deepest, darkest stuff. And if it does, that's, I don't know, but yeah, I think romantic relationships, family, close friends, they get in there and you discover things that, you know, sometimes you're like, where is this even coming from? Again, there's the bad wolf showing you, well, what is the issue here? And delving into that discomfort and being more self-aware of what you want and being able to clearly and responsibly communicating to your

partner what you want. I think that's an ongoing challenge that these principles are really helpful, if not critical, but they do seem like a base layer, right? They seem such a foundation. You've referenced some of these principles. Are there a couple that come to mind that have been particularly important for you? Yeah. Acceptance has been, of the things that we've discussed in classes, that one has been the hardest and the most fruitful in terms of, okay, allow everything to be as it is. Okay. Got it. Then we can work with that, right? Like, you know, serenity prayer stuff. What can you control? What can't you, the discernment between, you know, is this a controllable or is this external? And I can't focus on it. Just the

delineation of that is extremely helpful. So that's the one that I need to work on the most and has been the most beneficial. And then are there any practices that you do in your own life that help you to feed your good wolf? The practices that have helped most are doing a dedicated journal of morning pages. I think I heard that on your show. So I started to do that. That has been super helpful and walking, like walking meditation, or just setting aside when I'm walking around my house to be mindful of as much as I possibly can in those moments. And to me, it does feel like a meditation. Being mindful while doing things is kind of my form of meditation that I find to be

really helpful. I mean, I will lay down on the couch for five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever, and just be silent. I don't count that as much as meditation as much as I do just be silent. Yeah. I'm glad that you're able to sort of notice what does work for you, you know, writing, walking, and just trying to be present as you go about your life are more helpful than sitting down and meditating. Cause I think for everybody, different practices resonate differently. Well, Charlie, thank you so much for, uh, agreeing to come on and share a little bit of your experience with us. Thanks so much. Uh, really appreciate it and honored to be on. All right. See you, Charlie. Bye. Bye Eric.

Hello. My name is Sarita. I have been a listener since 2016 and recently became a Patreon supporter. Thank you for all you do. Such a great program. Thanks for being an inspiration and support over the years. Congratulations on your 500th episode. Hopes for many more. Congratulations on your 500th episode. Hopes for many more. Also from the When You Feed podcast that, yeah, there is no perfect three piece. Can I get them together? Nothing's permanent, personal and perfect. Got that from the When You Feed. I try to have more balance in my life with the middle way and try not to go to either side too extremely.

Otherwise, I wanted to express my gratitude towards the When You Feed for helping me in a time of crisis. I had a majorressive episode when i first encountered the one you feed and the interviews eric conducted with the wise people really helped me i try my best to focus on important things in life and leading a healthy lifestyle with sleep and food and sports and everything that you just need to do as a human being to be psychologically healthy i really appreciate the scientific approach that you often take in The One You Feed. Yeah, I guess I got a lot of techniques how to deal with me when life is hard again. Sometimes life as a human is hard. And yeah, I learned this also from The One You Feed, that it's okay to have these intense emotions and they're okay.

Thank you very much. Hi there. My name is Vicki Hunter. I live in Boulder, Colorado half the year and Kona, Hawaii half the year. And this podcast has been so meaningful to me in so many ways. In particular, I appreciate the episode 402 where Eric spoke with Jay Michelson and when they spoke about the running and returning theme in mystical Judaism, it really spoke to me and actually helped me find the title for my memoir. It is upcoming in June. It's going to be published by CG Sports Publishing Company. And I'm so grateful for everything that I learned from listening to this podcast. And once again, that particular episode really informed a lot of my thoughts about intergenerational trauma, which is

at the heart of my memoir, and how we go through life, kind of experiencing bad things and how we deal with them. So once again, Eric, thank you for all you do. I really appreciate the podcast and grateful. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who allowed themselves to be interviewed. Thank you for all of you who submitted a voicemail. We are so appreciative. And again, thank you to all of the listeners. We are so grateful for you and we look forward to many more episodes together. Take care. If what you just heard was helpful to you, please consider making a monthly donation to support the One You Feed podcast. When you join our membership community with this monthly pledge, you get

lots of exclusive members-only benefits. It's our way of saying thank you for your support. Now, we are so grateful for the members of our community. We wouldn't be able to do what we do without their support, and we don't take a single dollar for granted. To learn more, make a donation at any level, and become a member of the One You Feed community, go to oneyoufeed.net slash join. The One You Feed podcast would like to sincerely thank our sponsors for supporting the show.