The One You Feed - Dale Partridge

Episode Date: April 29, 2015

This week we talk to Dale Partridge about putting people above profit.Dale Partridge is a serial entrepreneur and CEO/Co-Founder of Sevenly.org and Startupcamp.com. In less than two years, Sevenly has given over $2.7 million in $7 donations to charities across the globe. Dale’s best known for his expertise in branding, marketing, and social media.Dale started his first company while still a teenager and has partnered and launched a few successful organizations since. His has a mission to lead a generation toward generosity.He has been featured in various business publications including the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine, INC Magazine Mashable, MSN Money, Forbes and the Los Angeles Times. His personal mission is to lead a generation toward generosity and empower business leaders through the teaching philosophy that people matter.  His latest book is called People Over Profit: Break the System, Live with Purpose, Be More Successful In This Interview Dale and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How love and truth always winFor more information visit our website  Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:Dan HarrisMaria PopovaTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This isn't rehearsal. This isn't just like version one of life and you get your second life later. This is it. This is life. Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.

This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor? What's in the museum of failure? And does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot

on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for joining us. Our guest today is Dale Partridge, a serial entrepreneur and CEO co-founder of Sevenly.org and StartupCamp.com. In less than two years, Sevenly has given over $2.7 million in donations to charities across the globe. Dale is best known for his expertise in branding, marketing, and social media. He started his first company while still a teenager and has partnered and launched a few successful organizations since. His mission is to lead a generation toward generosity. Dale has been featured in various business publications, including the

cover of Entrepreneur Magazine, INC Magazine Mashable, MSN Money, Forbes, and the Los Angeles Times. His personal mission is to lead a generation toward generosity and empower business leaders through the philosophy that people matter. His latest book is called People Over Profit. Here's the interview. to be here, my friend. I'm very happy to have you on. We've had a little challenge scheduling this, and you've got a lot of, we share some people in common who all highly recommended me having you on, so I'm glad that we're finally getting to do this. Thanks, man. Yeah, I think we're, you know, for anybody that's listening, we're recording this on a Sunday night, so we're, like, that's how dedicated we are to this show tonight. Yep, yep, Sunday night, 9 p.m. So, our show is called

The One You Feed, and it's based on the parable of two wolves, where there's a grandfather who's talking with his grandson, and he says, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second. He looks up at his grandfather and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do. That's a great story because I think that I would

look at history and history shows us that love always wins and that truth always wins and that transparency and generosity and authenticity and these things that really are at the core of life, meaning that the things that we struggle with most of our lives. And it's funny because I think so many people are looking, especially business people are looking for like the next strategies and tactics in like the Harvard Business Review. And most of us that have succeeded very well in not just business life, but in our personal lives have leaned more on the lessons that we were taught in kindergarten, which is, you know, to, to love people, to, to be kind, um, to share, you know, and to tell the truth. And it's these things that we struggle with as

humans for like our whole lives. I'm talking like I'm 30 years old and I'll still sometimes tell my wife that I'm around the corner when I'm like eight minutes away, you know? And it's this, it's this like, I don't know why I can't stop exaggerating. I don't know why I can't like be comfortable in my own skin. And I don't know why I hide things sometimes. And, um, so I think that at the end of the day, history just shows us that, that love always wins and truth wins. And I think that if we, if we can stand with that side, uh, we know that we're gonna, we know that we're going to win too at the end. Well, you've got a book coming out called People Over Profit, Break the System, Live with Purpose, Be More Successful, that I think really touches on some of that. It's sort

of a feeding your good wolf in the business world book, for lack of a better analogy. And you talk about seven core beliefs that create success by putting people first. Do you want to maybe talk about a couple of those and how they get in? Because I think these are around feeding other people's wolves also. Yeah, totally. So as a business guy, I'm sitting there, I'm going, okay, who's winning in the business space? And remember, there's no bad companies. There's only bad leaders. And so I sat back and I go, okay, who are the good companies? Because that means that they have great leaders. And so I look at companies like Whole Foods and REI and In-N-Out Burger and Chick-fil-A and maybe Ben & Jerry's and Patagonia and North Face.

Some of these outdoor brands especially kind of have this sense. And I look at their leaders and I go, like, what are they doing? You know, what are those men or women? There's actually a couple of those CEOs that are women. I go, what are they doing? And I looked and I studied at their

businesses for a few years and read tons of articles and actually got some good interviews with some people. And I found out that those people are just what I call constitutionally incapable of breaking away from these core beliefs. And they have the ability to value people. And they have this humility about themselves. They have this generosity and this authenticity and this ability to tell the truth or like honest Abe level truth. I mean, they just can't lie. And they have this integrity about themselves that is very rare.

And they think about business not out of the... They don't think of their businesses as parts of a machine or their employees as parts of a machine, but people. And it's something that they don't have written in their business plans. They don't have it tattooed on the walls in their HQ. They don't have it in their mission statement. They just have this thread of commonality between all these leaders that have the ability to value

people over profit, which makes their companies more profitable. And, um, remember, you know, in the books, not called people instead of profit, right? I'm not a communist, right? So it's, it's the idea is that, that if you value people over profit, you'll actually be more profitable because your company is healthier, your culture is healthier, and people work harder when they feel more valued. And so I started studying these men and women. And it was just incredible to see some of the stories and some of the insights that they were just dedicated to the simple things, like I talked about earlier, is that these truths that have always won across history and they're just better at it than most people. They're just dedicated, like fanatically dedicated to integrity. And, you know, they tell the lie even if, or they tell the truth even if it hurts,

right? They admit when they're wrong. They value people when it costs them money. when they're wrong. They value people when it costs them money. They give in the sight of not a practical decision. They're very true to themselves, even if people don't like it. There's so many unique things there. So I think that it's really the book's a study of the success of business. But if you go dig deeper, it's the personal development of the greatest leaders on the planet. And remember, we look at people all the time. I remember, Eric, I used to sit back and look at, okay, who should I start following? And I based that off of how much money they made or how successful their company was. I don't do that anymore. I don't follow people unless I can look at their lives and I go, okay, they're winning in business. They're winning in family. They're winning in relationships.

And those people are very rare. Like if they're healthy, they have a really great relationship with their children. They have an incredible marriage. And they're also on top of it, They have an incredible marriage. And they're also on top of it, running a multi-million dollar company. They're very rare people. And those people that can do that well, I think we have something to learn from. I agree. I mean, getting all those different things working well together is really a challenge. Oh, it's so crazy. The chairman of my past company, I'm still a co-owner, sevenly.org, his name is Jim Van Eerden. And he's been a great businessman. He's also got 10 children, a marriage of 30 years. And his children respect him and love him and care for him. And, and he's, he still travels and maintains this and runs these companies and, and his marriage is just flourishing and, and, and his relationships are strong and,

and he's constantly like consistent, you know? And I'm like, dude, all I want to do is just end up like that, you know? And so I'm trying to, I've surrounded myself with a couple of these men and my wife has surrounded herself with a couple of these women. And we learn like, whoa, like, cause I grew up in Southern California where this is just a rare thing. You know, you're really good at business and your family's falling apart, you know, or you're really good at family and you're broke, you know? So it's this balance that I'm looking for. And I think that's kind of what people need to start searching for more than just go deeper besides the professional and financial success.

Well, let's talk a minute about when you were running your company, you ran into some challenges there that caused you to step back and reevaluate what you were doing. And I think that's part of what led you to writing this book and doing the startup camp that you're doing now. Do you want to share a little bit about how the company was going and what happened with you and the changes you needed to make? Yeah. So, I mean, you know, Eric, at the core, I'm a ruthless entrepreneur, and which probably makes me very qualified to write this book because I've learned the lessons that I've written about over the years to change because I want to win and I'm incredibly competitive and I'm addicted to success and I'm addicted to achievement.

And I remember, you know, Sevenly was my sixth or seventh company. And I remember Sevenly was my sixth or seventh company. I had started multiple things by the time I was 26 years old and made a few million dollars. I was like, oh my gosh, this is it. This is what I really want. That's what I thought. I was like, this is what I really want to change the world. And we raised $4.2 million now in $7 donations. And I mean, literally, when I look back at it, I go, man, the money that we've given to charity, there's quite literally people that probably wouldn't be alive if we hadn't started the company. And I always ask myself the question, I go, what if probably wouldn't be alive if we hadn't started the company. And I always ask myself the question, I go, what if we didn't? For those of you that are dreaming out there that have dreams, I'll tell you this from personal experience, you have no idea the impact of the dream that you might have on someone else. So if you're fearful of starting, just know that I never knew that I'd be giving $4.2 million away

to charities and feeding people and rescuing girls from sex trafficking and building wells and stopping bullying and all the other things that we've supported. But the company grew very quick. And this is the first time that I realized that companies can grow faster than people can. And that was a really interesting learning experience to go, man, we went from zero to 50 employees in two and a half years. And I had a multi-hundred thousand dollar every two week payroll that was incredibly stressful at 27 years old. And I had people that worked for me that were 40 and that had kids and a wife. And I'm thinking, gosh, what a unique experience this was. And I grew a lot. I mean, I read more books than I probably have ever done in my whole life.

I mean, I spent so much mentorship with different people and went through coaching courses. And you know what? I just couldn't keep up. And I realized also that I'm a creative entrepreneur. I love the vision. And I needed to staff my weaknesses because I couldn't operate.

I was not an operator. And you give me 10 to 15 employees and I needed to staff my weaknesses because I couldn't operate. I was not an operator. And you give me 10 to 15 employees and I'm in. I could totally run that. But when it starts getting to the point where you walk in your office and there's people that are working there that you didn't hire and you have no idea who they are, it's a weird thing because you go, man, this thing's so much bigger than me now. And that was hard for me. And I remember wanting so badly to be the San Francisco VC, raising multi-millions of dollars and being on the covers of magazines and turning into this prodigy entrepreneur. And I had all the characteristics for it, but the ability to stay sane while doing it. And one of my favorite quotes is,

do you remember who you were before the world taught you who you should be? And I didn't. I literally didn't. I was so focused on achieving this success that I didn't care. And I put my family, myself at the back burner for a long time. And I remember I got to a point where I just started having anxiety. I just couldn't handle the stress and the pressure. And I didn't want to tell anybody. It would show weakness in my investors. It would show weakness to my staff. And so I just stuffed it down. And I was panicking all the time and walking out. And I'd literally be in a meeting and then I would jump out and run into a closet and take deep breaths and try to get my composure

back. And being a CEO is a real deal. A CEO of a seriously large company, anything over 10, 15 employees, it's a really hard stress. And I started having insomnia even like, and I still fought through it. I mean, I was still working hard. Like that's the crazy thing is that I was still running the company. I wasn't just like bailing, you know. And, you know, insomnia and anxiety and panic attacks. And I actually remember my wife started having them at the same time. So we were both going through this. This is craziness. I remember a time that I was sitting

on the bed with her and she was having a panic attack or she just finished having a panic attack and she was so frustrated with them that she was like suicidal thought thinking. Like she was, she was, I couldn't leave her alone. Like I had to literally take her to work with me every day. And, and I remember like fighting off my own anxiety at the same time, coaching her through the, you know, coaching her through what, like why she should live. I mean, it was, it was incredibly brutal. And we said, hey, it's time to change. And among a lot of other variables in the situation, I said, hey, I think maybe it's getting close for me to step down as CEO. And I think my partners and stuff were ready for it as well. They're thinking like, Dale, you need a break. And so I stepped down after about two and a half years of running

the company. And my wife and I, we just made a ton of changes. I mean, we made changes. This is the thing is that we also had the blessing of being able to make the change. Because a lot of people don't have the ability. They don't have the money. They don't have the resources to make changes. And we actually bought... We sold our house, forced us to drive in traffic everywhere. And we bought a house in the mountains outside of LA. And then we... In the mountains, 6,000 foot elevation, little cabin. And, we rented a little house at the beach and we split our time between the two of them. So we got, you know, got some more peace and quiet. We, we started exercising. We, we started, um, getting back into our faith a little bit. We, we started eating healthier. Um, we started, uh, uh, you know,

uh, reducing our commitments, um, to people and, and, and just try to figure out, okay, we got to serve ourselves. Because I think as people that we don't always remember that we have needs also, especially as leaders. If you're a leader and you're listening, oftentimes we are serving. We're, I'm like, my life is so good is what I'm thinking that I don't need anything. I'm the CEO and I'm successful. I have a good amount of wealth and I have this great wife and this house and all these things. I'm thinking the last thing I want to do is tell anybody that I need something. That's a massive mistake. Because it doesn't matter who you are. I don't care how successful you are. You still sometimes be able to go,

I need you to tell me that it's going to be okay. I need you to tell me that you love me. I need you to tell me that even if I screw up, you're still going to love me. You're still going to be my friend, whether I'm not the CEO here. And I think enough of that as leaders when you go, you know, hey man, if you fail, I'm still going to like you. And we need more of that. So we jumped into that season and eventually started redef, what did we really want? You know, like, who were we before the world taught us who we should be? And that was the kind of the journey that we've been on ever since. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast,

our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth.

Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you two? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir.

Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really, No Really. Yeah, really. No really.

Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How has the anxiety and insomnia been for you as you've made those changes? Nothing changes fast, right? So the way I've learned about it is that, and I've struggled with anxiety at various levels for 10 years now. When you start getting anxious,

it's because of the things you were doing weeks ago, right? So it's the pressure that's been building up for weeks to months. And that's what I say know, that's, that's like what I say is like, it's God's way of saying like, this is your breaking point and like chill out. And, um, the problem is, is that most people can't chill out, right? Like they got to go to work the next morning, you know? And, and so what do they do? They take drugs. And my wife and I just decided like, we're, we're going to do this without drugs. I mean, I'm not like, I'm not, um, you know, shaming anybody that has taken them, but we wanted to do it without drugs. We didn't want to get on anti-anxiety medicines or, you know, sleep medicines or different things because you get really dependent on that stuff, you know, and I think that it changes we stop and start calming down now, we're still going to be anxious. It's going to take a few weeks to months to start letting that

calmness catch up with us. So we had to be patient in that. And we started making progress, man. It was great. We started like, wow, we started started making progress, man. Like it was great. We started like, wow, we started having our lives back again and our thoughts back again. And, and, um, and I had to start replacing lies with truth. And, um, I think that a lot of the lies and we worry, you know, like there's, you know, um, uh, I mean, I'm a Christian guy, but you know, whether you're a Christian or not, I think the idea is that there's, there's a, I'm a Christian guy, but, you know, whether you're a Christian or not, I think the idea is that there's a quote in the scriptures that says, you know, what is worrying going to do to add a single minute to your life?

Right. You know, it doesn't do anything, right? Like worrying is like at the end of the day, there's just no point of it. I mean, sure, there's an importance if you actually have something that's like urgent and you need to go to it. But most of the worrying we do, the 95% of the worrying we do, it's just worthless. Right. So I stopped worrying. And my wife and I just came out of the hole. And we said, we're never going to go back.

And so we had to define, what does that look like? In the book, In People Over Profit, I talk a little bit about our story and that process and, and, and how it relates to work. Um, because I think that people think that, you know, the most dangerous person in the world is the guy that goes, Hey man, dude, it's not personal. It's just business. And I'm like, no, no, everything is personal. Uh, you're, you're, you're a dangerous person. The person that says that.

Right. you're a dangerous person, the person that says that, right? And so I looked at people over profit in the book. Is this like, this is the result of my internal change and how you can kind of create companies that are really who you are. So yeah, so now I'm on this journey of instead of having big companies, I want to do the highest amount of revenue, least amount of employees and be able to live anywhere I want. So those are the rules that we put in. So we wanted to have an online membership business was the business for us. And we had to think about that.

And we go, so we started a business called startupcamp.com where I would actually credit a 12-month curriculum on teaching people how to start a business, you know, from start to finish. And, uh, it's been great and it's, it's been, it's been still incredibly difficult and stressful, but not nearly as stressful because it's more me, you know, it's more me and, and, uh, you know, it's, we have, we have two employees. We have 300 and something members now and paying $99 a month. And the result of this company that actually fits with who we are

is so much better. We're so much happier. And so, businessmen and women out there, leaders, don't just chase something because it makes money. Don't just chase something because it makes money. Don't just chase something because you can be successful from it. Chase something that is actually you

and also successful and can make you money. Because I'll tell you what, I've made lots of money. And at the end of the day, I would rather be making a little bit of money and happy than making a ton of money and where I was. So that's been my theory is it's just somewhere where you love who you are because this isn't rehearsal, right? I mean, Eric, you know this, like this isn't rehearsal. Like you're not, like this isn't just like version one of life and you get your second life later. Like this is it, you know, right here. So like, don't wait on those decisions. Like this is life. Like you're in your 20s or 30s or 40s.

Like make those decisions now. Yep, exactly. One of the things that I think ties a little bit into this, and I saw it was something that you had written recently and you talked about, and this is a thing that comes up a lot in my mind and we talk about a lot, but the I will be happy when syndrome. Can you elaborate a little bit on that? Oh man. Yeah. I, when you, when you say I'll be happy when, um, it's incredibly dangerous because, uh, joy should, it has nothing to do with your circumstances.

I mean, your joy should not be affected by anything that you live on. Like, you should be able to be in jail and have the same amount of joy that you have today. And that's a harsh statement in a very extreme circumstance. But what I'm saying is that joy comes from a heart of contentment. It comes from looking at your life and gratefulness and gratitude. And so, I often tell people just, when you go to bed every day, just look at the things of your life like you're healthy. There's so many... And maybe this helped me a lot because of Sevenly. I got a chance to see some of the most unfortunate people in the world. And so, uh, we live in the covetousness era, right? Like where you're just like constantly coveting like other people's stuff. And I do it too. Like it's,

you know, I look at someone's life and I'm like, dang, man, like, look at their life. Like, you know, he's got so much freedom and look, he's, he made the cover. He got a New York times bestseller. Like, Oh, like I want that, you know? And, um, that's, I mean, our social media feeds are the highlight reels of our life. It's like, we almost do it to make people jealous, right? Like, like we put this, this picture out and they're like, Oh man, people are going to like this photo because they're going to like, they're going to want my life, man. They're going to want my life. And we love it. We, we get up, you We get 800 likes on that photo and they go, yeah, man, those people are jealous that they're not me. It's really sick. And so, yeah, I think that money is never going to make us happy. I mean, sure, there's that documentary, Happy, you know, money makes you happy until, you know, about $50,000 a year, you know, and once you have enough to like cover your basic needs, money makes no

difference on happiness. But if you, if you, if you're, you're making $12,000 a year and you need to make 40, you know, you're, you're pretty unhappy cause you don't have enough money. Right. But once you get there, uh, you're, you're definitely, uh, happy enough. So, I mean, I'll tell you, you know, we, we've been able to make, um, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. And, uh, I, I've listened to the lie before that, that money making more money is going to make me happier. And it, my wife comes up to me and tells me, she goes, you know, uh, just want to let you know, Dale, you know, you don't need to work more. Like, like, like, I'm okay. Like, you don't like, I know you're, you're hustling, Dale. Like,

I know you're hustling. I know you're doing the next thing, but like, you're doing it for you. You're not for me. You know, like, I just want you to know that. And I, I remember her saying that to me. I'm thinking like, like, she's she's happy if we made $60,000 a year. Her love for me has nothing to do with how much money we make. And her love for our life has nothing to do with that either. And so, there's a lot of that stuff there that just trying to figure out what it means to be content. And for us, I'll tell one last story. What we've done, Eric, is we've kind of made a decision that find this number yet, but we're getting close to this number.

We go, what number do we need? And because every time we get to a number, I mean, we go, oh, you know, 200,000. I think that we actually need more. So 300,000, oh, I think we need more. And dude, that is a dangerous road, my friend, because the people that get up to a million, oh, we just I think we need more. And dude, that is a dangerous road, my friend, because the people that get up to a million, they go, oh, we just need a little bit more. Like you don't need more. Yeah, it never ends if you're in that mindset. It never ends. So we're trying to figure out that number for our family where we go, hey,

you know what? Any money that we make this year past this number, we're either going to give it away or we're going to put it in a foundation for our children. That's it. And because there is a, there is safety in that. If you can, if you're open enough or mature enough to listen to that message, there's safety in that. And you need to define that number for your family. I think it'd be a good exercise for a lot of people. That mindset of I'll be happy when is that the core problem with it is that it never ends. It's always the next thing. At least that's been my experience is that I think that this is the thing that will make me happy. And I get there and I don't feel happier. And instead of questioning the entire mindset, I just think, oh, well, it wasn't that thing. It must surely be the next thing on the road. And it's insidious. We have to remember at the end of the day,

we're going to die. And we're going to sit there at... This is one thing I always tell people, the average age, blended men and women women is about 80 years old today. So, you know, I'm 30. So I got 50 years left, right? This is, that's it. You know, Eric, how old are you? 44. 44, right?

So you got potentially 35 years left, right? And you think about that and you go, no one on their deathbed, because there's tons of research projects and studies that goes, they go, you know, what would you have done more? And nobody says, I would have worked more. You know, one of my favorite quotes is, you don't get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life. And yeah, so it's the relationships that count. And I really hammer on that part in the book. I talk about relationships are the things that matter. That's why we're choosing people over profit. Because at the end of the day, sure, you built a great company, but everybody hates

you. There's nothing valuable about it. There's no legacy. Or you were so busy that you forgot to make friends. You're so busy. And sure, I'm all about or you were so busy that you forgot to make friends. You know, you're so busy and sure there's, I'm all about having a season of busyness. Like you might have a six month, like I'm writing this book and then getting it marketed and putting it out there. I'm way busier than I, than I like to be. But once we're done with this, I'm going to take a big break and I'm not going to be busy for another year. And, um And so we got to do that because at the end of the day, like the relationships that we make are really the only things that matter. And it's the only influence that those people are going to have on their children and their children and

their children. So like just focusing on the things that really matter because money's important, but it's not everything. Right. It is certainly not. But boy, are we culturally taught something different and that idea that it is money runs so deep. Oh, and fame and influence and things. I watched this video today on YouTube of this couple. I follow somebody that took photos of this couple and they're like a young model couple. They both have like a million followers on their Instagram account and they're both incredibly good looking. And they did these videos of like, they travel somewhere and they have this like, they're in helicopters and skydiving together and then like snowboarding and then like doing all these crazy things. And it's got like 3 million views on this video. And, um, it's awesome. Like, cool. Like,

you know, I'm not going to compare my life to theirs cause I don't know what their journey is. Right. Like there's that quote that says like, don't compare, uh, like don't compare your 20, you know, your mile 25 to someone else's, you know, mile one. Right. Um, and, and, uh, they're young and it, what I look at it as you go, so many people are watching this going like, gosh, I want that life, man. Like, gosh, I want that. Like, they're so uncon, like, they're so unhappy with their own lives that they're just like, oh, you know, and the people that produce that video are thinking the same thing. They're thinking like, oh, everybody's going to want our life, you know? So it's just a big thing of just, You're never going to be happy if you're not happy right now.

So just start learning how to be just as happy as you would be if you were a multimillionaire, famous, with a bunch of great kids. The happiness should never change out of your circumstances. That's the key lesson. Do you have any tips on doing that? Because that is really a challenge for a lot of people. I mean, I agree, but boy, it's harder to do that than to say it. It is. Without getting into the whole faith world for me, I think it starts with the gratitude of health I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like

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Bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the I heart radio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't know if anybody that's listening has been sick before, like sick where you're like really sick and you're like you're actually fearful of your life sick, you realize very quickly that if you're not healthy, nothing else matters. And so, I think the gratitude of the fact that you, whoever's listening, can actually listen to this and is likely having a decent day, it should start there. And just being like, man, I'm so stoked that I have a great life. And then also the idea of comparison. So we compare up all the time. All we do is compare

up. We go, oh man, I want that. I started comparing down and that really helped me. So if you haven't gone to a developing country, that's a great investment for your life. And, um, getting a chance to, you get to see people that live in like little huts with like definitely disease ridden things all around them with, you know, incredibly difficult situations that are happier than you. And it's so stinking frustrating because you go, how is this person who was completely upside down happier than me?

And you realize how broken you are. And so if you're going to invest in certain things, you're thinking about traveling. You're like, oh, I'm going to go to Europe and check things out. Europe's going to be fun.

But I'll tell you, if you want to do something that's actually going to make your life grow and change and be different, compare down, go, go somewhere that makes you feel very uncomfortable and almost fearful. And you see the people and you realize how happy they are. And you realize that, that you got a disease you need to cure.

So comparing down and, and as a, as a good, good little trick that I've, disease you need to cure. So comparing down is a good little trick that I've learned to do. We all sort of move through one thing and then the next challenge faces us. What are you wrestling with currently? What are some of the things that you are working on right now in your own life? Right now, I think I'm trying to be comfortable with who I am to find out if people like the real me. Because influencers are the best persona marketers you have ever met.

And they're so good at being social chameleons and becoming whoever they need to be at that moment. Celebrities are really good at it too, right? And so I'm trying to figure out who I am. I'm also trying to just be an incredible husband. I started thinking about if my wife doesn't feel like she's the most cherished woman in the world, then I'm not doing anything for my marriage. And I want my daughter and our future children to be able to see the representation of a husband and my wife's relationship with me so that they can carry that down and to say, I don't want my daughters learning, like having to look to anybody else to choose, to learn how to choose a husband. And, um, so I'm

really trying to say, Hey, you know, I, this is, this is exactly your, your whole life. You're going to see me loving your mother. Um, so that that's the kind of men that you need to be looking for. And so, um, the challenges is that I, uh, it's really hard. Um, it's really hard to be a good husband. Um, it's way easier to be a good businessman. That's for sure. Yeah, I agree. You know, being a good husband and a good father, um, is incredibly difficult. So, uh, it's slowing down because, you know, going down and, and from, from my computer to my Instagram, to my Facebook, to my book launch, to my speaking engagements, to because, you know, going down and from my computer to my Instagram, to my Facebook, to my book launch, to my speaking engagements, to my, you know, whatever I'm doing

and then like stopping and then like getting down on my hands and knees and like playing a, reading a book to my daughter. And this is only one kid, right? I want, we want as many children as we can possibly have just because we love children so much. And I'm concerned sometimes. I'm like, man, am I going to be able to stop? Am I going to be able to stop? So that's where I'm really trying to focus is just slowing down and being willing to be called out. I've gave a couple men in my life some permission to say, hey, if you see me going down a rabbit trail against what you know that I want to become, can you please tell me? And I give you permission to pull me aside and be like,

hey man, what you're doing right now is not what you want to do and you need to stop. to do and you need to stop. And I always say that self-evaluation is helpful, right? But evaluation from others is essential. So I've just been really stepping into that and letting people speak into my life from the outside in. And I think that's making a pretty big impact on my relationships. Excellent. Yeah, that is a challenge is to let other people in. The thing I wrestle with, even when I sort of say that, like, well, you know, I want you to call me out on my stuff is, and you mentioned it earlier, it's being, telling the truth or showing all parts of things or not hiding things even from those people because we tend it's pretty easy to rationalize at least for myself things in my own head about well you know i'm doing it because this reason and nobody else you know i don't

really need to talk about it kind of thing yeah it's it's it's humiliating it's it's it's it's embarrassing and remember like growth is growth is never, ever fun. I mean, hard growth, the ability to change is what makes people successful. And so that's why when I talk about people over profit, I go, hey, how do you make others feel about themselves? It says a lot about your leadership. And so people look at them and they, and so I'm saying that, so that ability to make other people feel good is something that's an

internal thing with you. So I urge people to go change, grow, get better. And that requires like fierce conversations and like embarrassing moments and sometimes humiliating, awkward situations, and sometimes just like incredible discipline to stop, you know, doing the things that are bad for your life. And it's the hardest thing. And also on the other side, someone that actually has to convince you or convict you, you know, nobody likes telling anybody that they got a booger on their face, right? You know, it's like you're at dinner with someone and you're like, Oh my, you're just staring at that booger. You know, you're just like, God, I don't want to tell them because it's so embarrassing for them. And, uh, you know, and then you like, you know, if you're close enough with them, you're like, Hey man, you just like start scratching your nose. Like you had a booger in your face.

And, uh, you know, and, but it's, you know, you gotta get a friend that's willing to do that to say, dude, the way you talk to people hurts them. You got to stop doing that because you sound like an idiot. And it sucks when someone says that to you, but I promise you it's better than living three years not knowing it, right? Yeah, exactly. So that's kind of the underlying philosophy of what I think makes the greatest leaders in the world. Excellent. Well, I think that is a great place to wrap up. You have put together a little special something for our listeners. Do you want to talk a little bit about that, where they can find that, and where they can find you, and when the book's coming out? Yeah. So the book comes out May 5th and we are pushing really hard to get this in the hands of leaders and the people that really want to become better business people, but also just better leaders, you know, and, and to think differently about business and to

restore capitalism, because I believe capitalism is great. What we have today is, you know, not a lot of companies are really practicing what I think is authentic capitalism. So we're trying to make this a better place. But I put together this $300 coaching kit with some coaching videos, a really good ebook called People Matter. And it's about leadership in business and for self-starters, entrepreneurs, dreamers, those kind of folks, a private podcast, a couple other things there. But if you go to peopleoverprofit.com forward slash wolf, you'll get directed to that and you'll get access to that for free when you buy the book. So really appreciate it if you would consider to pick that up and support kind of the mission that we're pushing there. Excellent. Well, Dale, thanks so much for taking the time to be on. I wish you a great deal

of success with the book launching and I've enjoyed the conversation. Awesome. Thanks, Eric, for having me. All right. Take care. Talk soon. Bye. Bye-bye. you can learn more about this podcast and dale partridge at one you feed.net slash dale