The One You Feed - Kino MacGregor
Episode Date: July 9, 2014This week on The One You Feed we have Kino MacGregor.We interviewed Kino after one of her weekend yoga retreats that she held in Columbus. We talked upstairs in a loft above the meeting space. She was... warm, engaging and wise.She is an international yoga teacher, author of two books, producer of six Ashtanga Yoga DVDs, writer, vlogger, world traveler, co-founder of Miami Life Center (www.miamilifecenter.com) and founder of Miami Yoga Magazine (www.miamiyogamagazine.com). Her YouTube channel reached more than 2 million views within the last year(www.youtube.com/kinoyoga). She is one of a select group of people to receive the Certification to teach Ashtanga Yoga by its founder Sri K. Pattabhi Jois in Mysore, India and practices through the Fourth Series of Ashtanga Yoga.Without any background in movement training Kino tried her first yoga class when she was nineteen. Three years later, she joined Govinda Kai’s Mysore-style classes in New York City and became a dedicated Ashtanga yoga practitioner. After seven months of traditional Ashtanga practice Kino traveled to Mysore, India to meet her true teacher, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois (“Guruji”). Upon her return she began real self-practice by practicing alone and devoting herself entirely to the study and teaching of Ashtanga yoga. After seven years of consistent trips to Mysore, at the age of 29, she received from Guruji the Certification to teach Ashtanga yoga and has since worked to pass on the inspiration to practice to countless others.In This Interview Kino and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Keeping your peace of mind regardless of the circumstances.How hard yoga can be.How yoga intentionally challenges your nervous system.Save Time, Save Money and Support the Show!! Go to Harry's and Use Promo Code: oneyoufeed to get $5 off your first order.Retraining the habit pattern of your nervous system.Walking the middle path.Not craving pleasure and pushing away pain.Taking what you learn during yoga out into the world.The value of surrendering to a method.Finding a genuine teacher.Yoga as a spiritual practice.Yoga and meditation in a secular setting.Using physical limits as a mirror for the inner journey.Her story of becoming a yoga teacher.Her depression, searching and questioning.Learning to not force everything.Meeting her teacher.The definition of truth as "what works".How what works one day may not work the next day.The multiple versions of the truth.The paradox of ambition versus acceptance.Balancing efforts between striving and not attachment to results.How depression can be the ultimate quitting.That love doesn’t make the pain go away but love is still bigger.Kino MacGregor LinksKino MacGregor homepageYoga for Beginners with KinoAshtanga Yoga:Primary Series with Kino MacGregorAshtanga Yoga: Intermediate Series with Kino MacGregorThe Power of Ashtanga Yoga: Developing a Practice That Will Bring You Strength, Flexibility, and Inner PeaceSacred Fire: My Journey Into Ashtanga YogaKino MacGregor You Tube channelKino MacGregor on Twitter Some of our most popular interviews you might also enjoy:Mike Scott of the WaterboysRich RollTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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Everyone knows that. Some days you wake up and you feel full of life and energy.
The next day you wake up and you feel terrible and you want to stay in bed.
Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance
of the thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think,
ring true. And yet, for many of us, or you are what you think ring true.
And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.
We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear.
We see what we don't have instead of what we do.
We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit.
But it's not just about thinking.
Our actions matter.
It takes conscious, consistent,
and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep
themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.
I'm Jason Alexander.
And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast
is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like
why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor,
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Thanks for joining us.
Our guest today is Kino McGregor,
international yoga teacher, author,
producer of six Ashtanga yoga DVDs, a writer, co-founder of Miami Life Center, and founder of Miami Yoga Magazine.
Her YouTube channel has reached more than 2 million views within the last year.
Kino practices through the fourth series of Ashtanga Yoga.
We were fortunate enough to interview Kino on location at a yoga studio in Columbus, Ohio recently.
Here's the interview. Hi, Kino. Welcome to the Columbus, Ohio recently. Here's the interview.
Hi, Kino. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, we're really glad to have
you. We are here at the site that you just finished. I guess you've got tomorrow to go
still. Yeah. A weekend yoga workshop at our town, our hometown here in Columbus. So we're glad to
have you. Oh, it's my pleasure to be here. So our podcast is called The One You Feed, and it's based on the parable of two wolves
where there's a grandfather who's talking with his grandson, and he says,
in life there's two wolves inside of us.
One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and love and beauty,
and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like hatred and greed and fear.
And the grandson stops, and he thinks, and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the greed and fear. And the grandson stops and he
thinks and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed.
Yeah. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life
and in the work you do. Well, first and foremost, to me, that parable means that we have a conscious
choice that we can make moment to moment of what our life stands for and
what our actions stand for.
That we can choose to create the life that we want by changing our behavior patterns
from things that are based in the past into a conscious choice to live a more peaceful
life in the future, starting off with changing our behavior in the present moment.
So in other words, when we interact with people and situations in our daily life,
there's always a temptation to go, you could say, towards the bad wolf.
There are always things that will annoy us.
There are always things that will activate fear.
There are always things that will generate negativity.
And if we choose to feed those and we choose to think more thoughts about them
and give those more energy, then we'll be going down the same road that we've walked in the past. But the whole purpose of yoga is to be able to change the basic habit pattern
of the mind and to choose to craft a more peaceful life and a more peaceful response
into the world. So every breath that we take is a conscious redirection of our intention
into that more peaceful life. And this is the way that the yoga practitioner is able to repattern the basic
consistency of their choices and ultimately transform their entire life. That's something
we talk about on this show a fair amount, is that grasping for pleasure, resisting pain. And you
write about that a fair amount. And you actually say that yoga is not about getting rid of all
these things and controlling your environment.
Right.
It's about keeping your peace of mind regardless of whether you experience ease and flow or stuckness and difficulty.
Absolutely.
So how does yoga help someone do that?
And then furthermore, how does someone take that?
So I would say similar to meditation, right?
You can meditate. You've
got that period of time you're meditating. Then you've got your other 23 hours of the day.
So in the yoga practice, we have this tool called asana, which are the physical postures.
And these physical postures are like a laboratory for your nervous system.
So the postures are actually not meant to be easy. And many people misconceive yoga and they think,
oh, yoga, that's so peaceful. I'll go in and I'll just be at peace. And the same thing I would imagine with meditation. I'll just sit there
and I'll be in bliss. Right. And it's not. Not at all. Neither are. Right. So you go into yoga and
one of the first things you realize is this is hard. These postures are hard. They're not easy.
It's not easy to stand on your head. It's not easy to do a deep backbend. In fact, some of the
postures have the specific intention of
stimulating a negative response in your nervous system. They actually go in and create a false
stress, a stress that's voluntary, a stress that isn't an actual threat to your life. And then when
you're challenged, when you're on your physical edge, all of your neurological response to
stressful situations is triggered. So if you have depression inside of you, then that gets triggered.
If you have anxiety, panic, that gets triggered. If you have anger, frustration, fear, all of those things,
they get triggered. Then you get the chance in that moment to retrain how you respond to that
stress. So instead of caving into it, instead of buckling and giving up, instead of crying and
collapsing, you get the chance to retrain the habit pattern of
your nervous system. So you can literally pull into your breath. Through the power of the breath,
you gain equanimity. You gain the conscious control to walk the middle path. You neither
fight against those things which you deem as negative or run towards those things which you
think are positive. You don't hanker for a pleasant experience and you don't push away
the negative experience. You just experience it for what it is, whether it's
pleasurable, whether it's painful. You take your breaths in the posture, following the healthy
technique to make sure that your body is safe, and then you move on. So you neither feed it
nor you fight against it. And it's really that middle way that's the essence. Now, the idea with
the laboratory of the yoga practice is that whatever's inside of you gets triggered. So if
you have all that stuff inside of you, it gets triggered, you work on it. The idea being that
those basic patterns then are replicated in your life. So the next time you experience anxiety,
depression, this sort of thing, you actually are given the instruction to use the same tools that brought
you into peace and equanimity in the asana. So for example, if a situation comes up where you're
having a panic attack, which a lot of people actually experience extreme anxiety in say,
deep backbends, then whatever is the tool that got you through that same emotional state through the
laboratory of the physical posture or the asana is meant to be replicated in your life. So for example, if when you're in the deep backbend and you experience
that panic arising, if what got you out of that was to engage your pelvic floor, take five conscious
deep breaths, open the eyes, gaze at the tip of the nose, then you're asked to redirect your mind
to that task in the moment that your neurological system produces that same response in your life,
which I think would be amazing.
I mean, imagine if every time someone got really mad at you and you wanted to fight back.
Instead of fighting back, you just squeezed your pelvic floor and took a deep breath.
If it was really annoying, you looked at your nose.
Right.
You know?
I mean, the world would be a really peaceful place.
Everyone would be staring at their nose all day.
I was going to say, I'm going to squeeze his pelvic floor here.
So how early in, and I don't want to go too deep into deep yoga practice.
We're a general podcast.
But how early in the yoga practice, I do yoga semi-regularly,
how early do you start finding those negative emotions?
You've described backbends as a certain one and other ones.
Do you find that really from the beginning or a lot of times does it take a little while
until you get into the ones that really trigger a strong emotional response?
I think that depends on what type of class that you join.
Because there are some classes that have as their intention yoga for simple health benefits and then these postures are meant to be they are in those
classes they're meant for the postures to be easier and students are not encouraged to find
that edge inside of themselves so there are certain styles of yoga that are based in the spiritual
lineage of this practice which which have as their intention the
equalization of the two opposing forces of pleasure and pain, of inhalation, exhalation,
of openness and activation, this sort of thing.
Lineage-based styles of yoga can actually bring you up into that right from the beginning.
And sometimes people are not necessarily interested in that from the beginning. And so yoga that's interested, say, in just health or fitness-oriented yoga is sometimes more popular.
But, for example, in the kind of yoga that I practice and teach in the Ashtanga method, it's right from the beginning.
You know, it comes at you right from the very beginning because it's right from the beginning you're asked to follow the method and sometimes people even have a reaction to following a method so then already they're
being triggered i had actually a situation with a student recently who i was teaching her the method
and she just did not like it she just said well i don't want to do that i want to do like this and
i want to do that these are all my preferences and i paid good money to take your class and i think
that you should deliver that to me because that's what I paid for.
And she just went on.
And I just calmly had to restate to her again and again, this is the method.
If you want your money back, you can get that.
But this is the method.
And this is the goal of the method.
And I can't teach you anything else.
If you want something else, you have to go somewhere else.
We worked through that. And over the course of about two weeks, she really was able to see
some patterns inside of her related to anger and frustration that through surrendering to the
method, she was able to work through on at least an initial level. How do you know if you are
dealing with that type of yoga, the type you're describing, that's a very, sounds like a very
lineage-based practice is a good word for it, versus another type. Because a lot of the things
tend to be common, right? Even in yoga classes that are supposedly fitness, you've got the sun
salutations are happening, some of the basic things. There's a little nice reading, there's
incense burning, right? How do you know?
Well, I guess it's a little bit like, how do you know when you're in, where you're supposed to be
in your life? I feel like you attract the situations that are really appropriate to
what you're yearning for. I discovered the Ashtanga Yoga method as a result of a genuine
desire for how to live a more peaceful life. I was going
through a period of darkness and I turned to this method of yoga. I turned to yoga. I didn't know
that I was going to find Ashtanga yoga, but I had the intention of I want to start yoga in order to
lead me to live a more peaceful life. And from that intention, I was led to the Ashtanga yoga
method. So first and foremost, I think that if that desire is in the heart of the student, naturally, they will experience that.
They will find that eventually through the power of attraction, just through their sincere desire.
The second thing I would say is that if you can do the research, find out who your teacher's teacher is and your teacher's teacher's teacher and and look for
someone that is steeped in not just the physical asana but who is steeped in the spiritual journey
of the practice that understands the compassionate heart that comes from years of dedication to a
true spiritual practice i think that's really interesting we, we released an episode recently with a, um, a Lama, a Buddhist Lama,
who's in a very old lineage. And that, that conversation sort of came up from her about
finding out who your teacher's teacher teacher was. And, um, I also find interesting at the
same time that we ended up talking to a lot of people, um, who are start, who take those things,
yoga or meditation outside of their meditation, outside of their tradition,
outside of the tradition, and yet still seem to provide benefit to people in some ways. And I
just find that dilemma always kind of interesting to explore. Yeah, I mean, I think that there's,
particularly in yoga, you can clearly see that there are asanas, yoga postures that can be taken
just for health benefit and have no intention further than that there are asanas, yoga postures that can be taken just for health
benefit and have no intention further than that. The asanas are physically very, very healing.
So I think if the student's intention is simply to get more healthy, then there are ways to do
the practice to actually accommodate that. But if the student's intention is to walk down the
spiritual path and truly find a transcended peace that's outside of the realm of pleasure and pain,
something that is beyond the ups and downs of the sensory world,
then naturally that student will keep searching for the teacher that can provide that experience. Okay, back to the interview.
Any physical activity, any sport, you come up against that point you talked about.
I'm Jason Alexander.
And I'm Peter Tilden.
And together on the Really No Really podcast, You talked about the... us the answer? We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you, and the one bringing back the
woolly mammoth. Plus,
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to Really, No Really, sir. God bless
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Really No Really.
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Place where you feel like you can't do it.
Yes.
You're being pushed too far.
How is yoga different than other athletic things that take you to that point?
How is it a better way to learn to transcend and deal with that, perhaps, than some of the others?
Well, as far as I can see, the idea with yoga is that when you reach your limit, you're not forced to surpass it.
And you're not forced to sacrifice your physical health for any aesthetic or material goal.
Whereas my husband, who was a dancer for many years, he always had his primary concern in dance as the aesthetic performance.
So in many ways, he would reach a physical limit, but he needed to surpass it in order to achieve the aesthetic form. So he would
sometimes sacrifice his physical body in service of the temple of aesthetics, the temple of beauty
in dance, which is awesome. It's what he wanted to do. Now in yoga, we don't have the goal being
the physical form. So it's not the aesthetics that matters. Instead, it matters what the inner
experience is. So it doesn't really matter where you reach your limit. It also doesn't matter if
you surpass it, but it simply matters that you go, you touch it, you experience it. You don't
force your body to go beyond any limit. In the simple state of experiencing your limit every day,
the pure faculty of awareness will naturally expand your limits. You don't need to try to push through them.
You don't need to sacrifice your physical body.
So it generally has the potential to be very physically safe if done with patience and
non-attachment.
But if you try to sacrifice your physical body for the attainment of any external result,
whether it's an aesthetic result or the result of a posture, which would actually be aesthetic,
then you're sacrificing the inner journey.
So ideally, yoga is an inner journey that uses these physical limits just as a mirror
so that the student, really the spiritual aspirant, can figure out who they are when
they're at that limit. You talked just a minute ago about how you were drawn to yoga. Can you
tell us a little bit more about the story of where you were, what brought you to yoga and your journey so far? I can look back now on my life and I can see that from the time that I was
a little girl that I've gone through periods of depression, that I've gone through periods of
intense searching and intense questioning. And I can see that when I turned to find out how to live
a more peaceful life, I was going through a period of depression. And I was in a very dark place. And I was seeking to try to mask my sadness with an endless stream
of parties and an endless stream of, you know, external pleasure. And at some moment, it just
got me burned out. At some moment, it just stopped working. You know, the things that had brought me escape
no longer led to escape. It's like my depression was waiting for me at the end of all of the
sensory pleasure. So I woke up one day and I just said, I need to get out of this cycle. I need,
I want to live a more peaceful life. And it was from that desire that I, you know, turned to a
yoga class. And it was my luck that I looked at a sign near where I was working
at the time. And it said, Tuesday, Thursday, Ashtanga Yoga. And so I joined that class.
I had done yoga on and off, like in random classes and out of books, but I wanted to make
a commitment to join yoga as a spiritual path. And that's when I found the Ashtanga Method.
Within less than a year after I took that first class, I had already been to India for
two months and I'd already met Patabi Joyce and Arsharat Joyce, his grandson, the two people who
were my teachers. So it didn't take you long. You found something that helped really quickly and
kind of went all in. Absolutely. So that nature to be sort of all in, and I think I read something you wrote where you talk about your nature is to be like that,
to go kind of all into things and really just give it everything, and you approached yoga like that to start.
Talk about how you've learned to find that middle way over time.
I think that, first of all, when I found yoga, I had never been clear about anything
before in my entire life. So that clarity was probably the most enlightening thing that I'd
ever experienced. Because up until then, I was wandering, you know, I just thought, well, maybe
I'll go to graduate school. Well, maybe I'll do this. Well, maybe I'll be an academic. Maybe I'll
be a journalist. Maybe I'll do this. Maybe, you know, and it was just, nothing was really a big pull. My parents were really concerned,
you know, and they were like, oh, what are you going to do with your life, dear? And I'm like,
I don't know. You know, maybe I'll work in a club the rest of my life. And, you know,
maybe I'll do this. Maybe I'll do that. And then when I, after I did that first yoga class,
I immediately knew I wanted to take another one. And it was the first instant. And then when I read my teacher's book, Yoga Mala, you know, Guruji Sri K. Patabi Joyce
wrote this book called Yoga Mala.
And the night that I finished it, I had a dream about him.
And I woke up from the dream and I just knew I have to go to India.
And I bought the ticket.
It was the first thing in my life where I thought, this I want to do.
I am doing that.
And it was the first time in my life that I was clear about something.
And I followed it.
And even though I was clear about it, I had all this resistance. So the flight to India is 24 hours. And then there's a four hour taxi from Bangalore airport into Mysore. The entire, almost
30 hours of the journey, all I did was think about how I wasn't going to bow down to some man.
That's all I thought about for 30 hours. Because the tradition, Indian tradition, you put your
hands on the teacher's feet. I was like, I am not putting my hands on someone's feet.
And I just went out. Yet, when I got there, I looked into Guruji's eyes. My hands were on his
feet before my mind could question. And I really felt like my heart opened to him in that moment.
I didn't know, but that meeting would forever change my life. So now, rather than push forward and try to force
things to happen, what I've learned from 15 years of practice is that when things start to happen,
whether it's an asana or whether in the yoga posture or something in my life, I just wait
and experience, right? And then I wait for things to reveal themselves rather than try to force and make things happen.
I used to be really attached to, oh, I've got to make this happen.
I've got to get to India.
I've got to do this.
I've got to spend this much time there and try to plan everything.
And over especially the last couple of years, the thing that my practice has taught me the
most is to just show up and be present and then to wait for to wait for things to
wait to see what wants to happen and then when that happens to meet it with equal force and
energy so that there's um less force and more receptivity you could say i've studied a lot of
buddhism and yet i had never heard um the idea that the the buddha's definition of truth was
what works which i love because that's what
I love about Buddhism. And you wrote that. But what you go on to talk about next is what really
interests me is that you talk about, you say, if we look again at the Buddha's definition of truth
as what works, we see that what works constantly changes. What works one day will not necessarily
work for every day that follows.
And talk about what you mean by that. Well, in the yoga practice, our body is constantly changing. So we get this constant mirror of our body, but the body's never the
same. I mean, everyone knows that. Some days you wake up and you feel full of life and energy.
The next day you wake up and you feel terrible and you want to stay in bed. Now, if you have
to do this physical practice, you have this mirror for that every single day. If you force yourself in your physical body to try to replicate
the same type of experience, you will harm your body. So the truth of Monday could be that you're
tired and heavy. So then you have to honor that. And so what works in your practice when you're
tired and heavy is different than, say, Tuesday. Maybe you slept really well and you wake up
cheerful and joyful since something else is different. And then you follow that, but you can't force, you can't hold onto the past and
try to make it the present. You can't hold onto the present and try to make it the future. It's
literally that you have to experience your body in the present moment and honor what that experience
is. That's on a small individual scale, but I think on a larger scale, especially as yoga teachers,
we can get very attached into
this is how you do the posture. Well, you know, that's how you do the posture for now. But any
yoga teacher will definitely say that how they do the posture, maybe for one year, two years,
three years, changes after that. The practice is constantly evolving and you explore things and
new things are revealed to you. So there's always a possibility that what works for
you one year might not work for you the next year. And that's true with your students, right? If you
have 50 students in the room, the same direction is not going to work for each of them. So this
person's truth is one thing. This person's truth is another thing. This person's truth is another
thing. And so there's 50 different versions of the truth. How do you do a backbend? There are 50
different versions of that, one for each student, each of them all equally valid. And that's something I feel is so important as yoga
teachers to be able to embrace all of the different ways we can find our path into the
experience of ourself. Yeah, I think that's really profound in a broader sense of that when we,
people have a tendency, and I've noticed it a
lot they find something that helps them to feel better yeah and they become so
excited and so passionate about it and then that hardens into some sort of
dogmatism right that leads to that they can never it's very difficult to
transcend and I've had moments of that where you're so convinced I've now seen
the truth and yeah I think what you're saying is that truth is always evolving to some degree.
Absolutely.
Something I wanted to ask you about also, because on this show we talk all the time about the paradox of attachment.
We talk about the paradox of going after a goal versus when is that a good thing, when is that a bad thing.
When is personal change a good thing, and when is accepting yourself the way you are a good thing?
And you say that the greatest teaching of yoga is also the greatest paradox of life.
Yoga teaches how to walk this thin red line between belief and impossibility, goals and attachment, and temporality and eternity with grace and ease.
Can you talk a little bit more about how,
and you've alluded to it about finding that middle point,
but I think that's an idea that I know I wrestle with a lot,
which is how do you find that middle point between
I need a certain amount of energy and goal and drive
to even push the spiritual process forward,
and yet the spiritual process is largely about letting go.
And so how have you found that works for you?
The traditional yoga philosophy gives the instruction that we constantly balance all
of our efforts between the effortful striving of the path and non-attachment to the fruits
of our labor.
And this is a very important concept
that's presented in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. And I think in that, we find this way to work very
strongly and intelligently while at the same time containing the aspect of surrender. So for example,
the traditional story that's presented is the Bhagavad Gita, where the warrior prince Arjuna
is asked as his dharma, as his...
I'm Jason Alexander.
And I'm Peter Tilden.
And together on the Really No Really podcast,
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We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer.
We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you.
And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth.
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Bless you all.
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And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.
Really?
That's the opening?
Really No Really.
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No really.
Go to reallynoreally.com.
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Life path to be this archer
that will play a pivotal role in the battle of the Mahabharata,
then he doesn't want to do it.
And he ultimately says, you know, I can't do it.
I don't want to do this.
In the story of the Bhagavad Gita, he sees all of his uncles, his childhood friends,
and he sees that his job will be to kill them.
His job would be to kill his archery teacher, which is one of the biggest insults that you
can make as a student of archery.
And his charioteer is the incarnation of Krishna, is Krishna, the incarnation of God.
is the incarnation of Krishna, is Krishna, the incarnation of God. Now, what Krishna says to him is, Arjuna, in this moment, you must focus with your life force as the archer, as the divine
archer. You must focus on your goal with the full attention, with precision and detail, with your
full life force. That is your goal. This is your dharma. You must focus on it.
And then in the moment you release the arrow, it's what Krishna says to Arjuna, surrender the fruits
of your action to me and it will be my arrow and your work will be my work. And whatever you attain,
you will attain through me. So that when the action is done, it is not his karma. It's not
Arjuna's karma, but it's Krishna's karma. Like that in the world,
when you direct your attention towards your goal, while at the same time giving your full attention
to it, simultaneously realizing that whatever you attain, you attain through the grace of God.
You do not attain through your own efforts. So you release your attachment to the goal. So you
have strong effort simultaneously balanced with ultimate surrender.
And then when you attain the result, you have your humility because you know you didn't do it.
You know that it came to you rather than it was something you forced and you worked into being.
You showed up.
You did your dharma.
And then what you receive comes from a power much greater than you.
And in that sense, we're able to maintain our connectivity.
We're able to maintain our connectivity we're
able to keep our hearts open you could say and not be too narrow-minded in
terms of what that goal might be we release our attachment to the goal
another thing that I read that you talked about and we it's a favorite
phrase of mine which is a little bit of something is better than a lot of
nothing and you talk about that you've got a very busy schedule.
Before the interview, we were talking about how often you're on the road,
which is a lot, and you're clearly writing articles and writing books.
And so how is that idea that a little bit of something is better than a lot of nothing
play out in your life?
Well, I think for me, the little bit of something that I have, first of all,
is that I treasure what little bit of time that I have at home.
And I really, really enjoy the days where I don't have any appointments.
I don't have any schedules.
And I don't really need, like, a lot of those days.
Otherwise, I would think I would just be in a state of luxury, you know?
And for me, the idea of treasuring those little moments of waking up and seeing the sunrise and it's mango season in Miami right now and we have a mango tree and picking up some mangoes and just appreciating that and being in the little precious moment of complete presence without any need to be anywhere else, without any need to run around and go on a schedule.
For me, those moments are probably the most pleasurable and the most treasurable.
You tell a story about you're trying to do a one-armed handstand,
which you shouldn't be able to do anyway.
This doesn't make any sense.
But you were struggling with it, and you asked somebody who was in the circus to come teach you.
And during that process, you describe the way that you gave in, the way that you collapsed.
Tell us a little bit, because it sounds like it was a big learning moment for you.
Absolutely.
Can you tell us that story?
So when I finished the fourth series of the Ashtanga Method, I started to look ahead and, well, what's next?
Then a couple of postures away, there actually is a one-arm handstand in my practice. And I started to get
really scared. And I thought, who in the world could possibly teach me this? And then I remembered
that the only people I've ever seen succeeded a one-arm handstand are the circus people.
So I contacted the circus school in Miami, and I asked their top trainer to come and do a session
with me. And at first, he was probably one of the meanest trainers I've ever worked with.
Even Guruji was never, he was, Guruji was harsh with me, or stern, you could say, but
I never felt, I never, I just never felt that Guruji was mean.
And at first thing, his name is Ricardo Sosa, and he's actually a really awesome teacher.
The first thing that he said to me was, I can see right away that you're not strong enough to even do a good handstand. And then I immediately sort of felt
this kind of collapse sensation, like, oh, you know, and then he would try. And then as we began
to work together, he would push me to this limit and my body would just suddenly collapse. And then
he would yell at me and I would say, I'm sorry. And one of the most pivotal moments was he looked at me and he said, don't say sorry,
just do.
And I'm someone who always says, I'm sorry.
You know, if I do something wrong, I'm always, oh, I'm sorry.
And then I thought about it for a moment.
I kind of wanted to cry, but then, you know, I thought, well, let me just do it again.
And I thought about it later and I thought, you know, actually, sorry does nothing for
him.
He's right.
You know, what is sorry going to do?
Imagine, great.
Like, let's say you hit someone with your car. Oh, I'm so know, what is sorry going to do? Imagine great. Like,
let's say you hit someone with your car. Oh, I'm so sorry. Great. What did that do for them? You
know, just don't do it. If you're truly sorry about something, don't do the action. So, you know,
I took that as sort of a lesson for me to look inside of myself. And as I mentioned before,
I look back on my life and I can see that I've gone through periods of depression
and depression is the ultimate quitting.
Depression is the ultimate giving up.
You give up on yourself
and I've gone through periods of my life,
long periods of my life where I woke up with the thought
every single day, is life worth living?
Not in general, you know, like is life in general worth living?
I always believe that life should continue
but I woke up with the thought, is my life worth living?
Is my individual life, is that worth continuing? Because I woke up and I saw all of the pain and
all of the suffering around and everything that was around and all of the mistakes that I've made
and all of the ways that my actions consciously or unconsciously have harmed other people and the
most important people in my life. And I saw that and I couldn't see the purpose of continuing.
And I literally quit on myself every
single day. And there were very few things that kept me motivated. And in that moment of literally
being stronger in the physical body, I found an emotional strength as well that gave me the ability
to tune into something that was bigger than any and all of the pain that I'd experienced. And the
thing that I've learned the most from that is that love is bigger than any pain.
And it doesn't make the pain go away.
And I think a lot of people that talk about, oh, well, love is my religion and love this
and love that, I don't believe that love makes the pain go away.
I think it's actually much more gritty than that, that you still have all of the pain.
You still carry that with you.
I don't think it ever leaves you, not while we're incarnate, not here on earth, that the
pain is all around you and you're constantly generating new pain. And it's constantly pushing
you to the edge that you feel like you're going to break, but your love is bigger than that.
And you love through that. And you love because of that. And it's grander and bigger than any
of the pain, not because it makes it go away, but because it is bigger than any of the pain
you could possibly experience.
Wow, that's a great story and I think a great way to end.
So thanks so much for taking the time in a busy weekend to talk with us. You're welcome.
I really enjoyed the conversation, so thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you very much. It's been my pleasure to be here.
Namaste.
Namaste. you very much and my pleasure to be here namaste namaste you can learn more about keno mcgregor and this podcast in our show notes at one you feed.net
slash keno