The One You Feed - Langhorne Slim

Episode Date: February 18, 2014

This week on The One You Feed we have Langhorne Slim.Langhorne Slim is a singer/songwriter who is originally from Pennsylvania. He has been celebrated by numerous press outlets. Rolling Stone praised his latest record "The Way We Move" as "damn near perfect," while The Guardian proclaimed the band as "one of the greatest live acts." Additionally, Entertainment Weekly called Langhorne Slim "your next obsession," and The New Yorker described him as having "Leadbelly's gift for storytelling and Dylan's ability to captivate crowds."We caught Langhorne as he was moving from one town to the other and preparing for his next appearance on the Conan O'Brien show.In This Interview Langhorne and I discuss...The One You Feed parable.How two old Jewish men fed his good wolf.How important music is.How you can't serve two gods at once.His new-found sobriety.How alcohol can keep us from being real and raw.Facing life without a protective barrier.His moms favorite song.How to get the best stuff out of us and into the world.What the first song he learned to play on guitar was.How he got on the Conan O'Brien showLanghorne Slim LinksLanghorne Slim homepageLanghorne Slim Facebook pageLanghorne Slim Amazon PageLanghorne Slim You Tube MixSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I think that music is, at least for me and most people I know, the greatest medicine. Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort

to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for joining us. Our guest this episode is Langhorne Slim, a celebrated singer-songwriter described by The New Yorker as having Lead Belly's gift for storytelling and Dylan's ability to captivate crowds. We caught up with Langhorne in between gigs to talk music, sobriety, and life. You can learn more about Langhorne Slim and this podcast at oneufeed.net slash Langhorne. Hi, Langhorne. Welcome to the show. We're glad you could be here.

Glad to be here. Hello, hello. I first saw you, I think, in Nashville one evening. I was traveling on business and on a lark. I went out to a club to see you play. It's probably been five years at least, and I was totally blown away, and I've seen you a couple times in Columbus since. So great live show, and I've always enjoyed your music. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

Our podcast is called The One You Feed, and it's based on the old parable where there's a grandfather who's talking with his grandson, and he says, In life, there are two wolves inside of us who are always at war with each other. war with each other. One is a good wolf, represents kindness and love and joy, and the other is a bad wolf, and it represents greed and fear or hate or pick your poison. And the grandson stops, and he thinks, and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed. So yeah, the way I like to start the interview off is just to ask you, kind of, what does that parable mean to you in both or either your life or your work? Yeah, in my case, there were two old men, and they were old Jewish men that lived in Philadelphia that told me that, and in their

own way, those were my grandfathers. But I love that. That's what you sent me when you got in touch with the message. And I read that and thought how cool it was. You know, guys like me are fortunate to have people to want to talk to them about their music or what they do. It's usually driven with kind of less interesting, soulful topics and dynamics. So, so I really do like that and appreciate the, the chat. What does it mean for me? Probably what it means for us all. I mean, absolutely. There's two, I guess there's the, the dark demon, uh, of, like you said, of fear and greed and, um, and all that. And then, you know, the, the, the light and the, the true soul and all that. And so it's just kind of figuring out as we go through life, what, at least for me, what feeds my soul, what feeds the...

When I say light, I don't mean as far as weight, because I do like heavy things, heavy and soulful things, but what feeds the love and the light and what kind of detracts from from the the shittier the shittier things for me it's music it's friends it's creating it's uh traveling it's keeping very very very busy or else i get um i think i'm always a strange one, but I get strange in, in, uh, in not fun ways. So it's a daily, it's a daily weird ass adventure. Um, that sometimes feels, sometimes it's like you're walking and you can feel your footsteps and they feel heavy. And then other days you just walk in and seeing a little tune in your head and, and the sun

is shining and everything kind of feels, feels cool. Um, and then there's a lot of shit in between. So it's just kind of the, uh, the adventure and the, um, the, the paths that we choose in all of that. Yeah, exactly. And I, I like how you talked about, uh, the things that, that that feed feed you and music is definitely one for both chris and i which is why we try and get musicians on here as often as we can because it's a it's a big part of of what feeds our good wolf um you brought up the uh you brought up your grandfathers and that was actually a question i was going to go to at some point so you've got a song on your most recent record called uh song for sid which I think is about one of your grandfathers. Do you want to talk a little bit about that song?

I love that old man. I pray he's where he belongs. Hanging where the gray ones go when they're gone. I can tell you a bit about that song. I can tell you a bit about my grandfathers. They were huge, huge figures in my brother and I's life. But yeah, my grandfathers, my grandparents in general, had a huge part in raising my brother and I and kind of forming us into the men that we are. Both of them passed in the last five years.

Both of them I had spent significant time with at the end of their lives, their physical lives here. And I consider those to be some of the greatest gifts that I've been given, was to have them both in my life and to have been fortunate enough through what I do to be able to be close to them at their end and to have heard out of their mouths that they were ready to move on, that they enjoyed their lives, that they loved their families, imparted some wisdom to me and said, please don't spend a whole lot of time being too sad about this because it is time to get the F out of here. And it's been real, and I love you very much, and all that.

So for me in my 33 years, those were two of the most important guys to me and incredibly significant. Yeah. Yeah, that's a – the song is a – it's a touching song. And there's one other song where you reference your grandfather and you say – and it's a line that I really like and I think about a lot, which is that my grandfather once told me that all pain hurts the same. And the idea is basically even though other people may have less than us

or we can think about this person has no access to clean water or this person was abused by their parents, but realizing that hurt is hurt and we have to find ways to deal with that in ourselves. I really like that part of that song. Oh, thank you. That was exactly the conversation, and that's what he told me about it. It's relative to you and relative to me and relative to what I was doing with it. So one of the other things that I noticed recently that has come up in your life is you've recently become sober.

Can you share a little bit about, I guess, what brought you to that point and how that experience has been for you so far? Yeah, it's a new experience. It was a long time coming, but I've been for about five months. And when friends and people ask me why and what brought me to it, I think what brings a lot of those of us that are sober to it, which is a lot of whatever device that we liked. And for me, it was I drank as much as I could. I tried to drink it all.

I left some for those that are still drinking. And really, since I guess I'm about 15, kind of tried everything, 33 now, and it became more of a weight, more of a burden, and something that was just more in my way than I want something. And somebody told me a long time ago, and I didn't take this as a religious vibe, really, when she said it, but I was talking to her about it. I'm a man full of love and full of passion, and that well within myself is deep.

And I was talking to her about kind of where I wanted to go in relationships and in music and in career. And she said, well, you can't serve two gods, she said. And again, I didn't take that as a religious thing. I took it as if I want to love this human being in my life, you know, hypothetical human being, I'm a single man right now, but, you know, and put energy and love into this human being. How can you do that if you're spending, not everybody spends so much time and energy drinking or doing drugs, but some of us do and some of us did.

So how can you put all of yourself or the best of yourself into that? And the same with music and art. And I got to a point, even though I knew when I was 15 and I started drinking, I said to my high school sweetheart, who I just saw yesterday, it was her birthday. I said, eventually, I just started drinking, and I said, eventually, I will have to stop this to get to where I need to go. And it was on my 33rd birthday. It was a long time coming, but I said to myself, today is the day. And I haven't looked back since.

And shit's been wild. is the day and I haven't looked back since and shit's been wild. I think when you are, when you are invested in, um, being high and drunk, it's all that and medicated for, for a large part of your life. When you, um, when you transfer into a sober state, I've heard a lot of sober people say this, and I kind of thought nothing of it or maybe even rolled my eyes at it, but it's its own intoxicating feeling in and of itself, and it's its own trip in and of itself, and I'm doing that dance right now,

and it's been really cool. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really Know Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal?

The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you. And the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too?

Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No

Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Congratulations on five months. I've walked that road myself, and you're right. In the beginning, there's something very... I just remember sort of being blown away again and again with these insights. Like, whoa, whoa. And I agree that at a certain point, I think most people who end up giving it up, it is because they finally realize that that is the God they're serving. They're serving the God of their alcoholism or drug addiction.

And that is the most important thing. And that's, I don't think anybody intends for it to be that way, but that's the way it ends up. And you want to talk about feeding the bad wolf. I mean, that's the big bad wolf, right? You know, there you go. And again, it's not, when I talk about this, which I'm happy to, and I'm open about it, I don't mean it for any, I don't know what everybody else's path is and, and, and people's experience with it. So I talk very much on a personal level, but I know that, I mean, why I love music and why I do what I do in such a passionate way is to get to my center, to my truth, and to be real and raw. And for me, that became really clear that I wasn't being real and raw by kind of medicating my fears and my discomforts and my anxieties and to have a breakthrough in my relationships in this life. And one of those relationships, being my music is obviously very important to me. I felt like in order to have a true breakthrough with that, and then a true breakthrough romantically,

the next time that comes into my life, um, break through the ceiling that I've, you know, I've reached a certain level, but, but that ain't nothing to break through it. This was something that I needed to,

um, to have in my life and to see what, what it was all about. Um, you know, look, looking, looking through these, these weird sober brown eyes, as opposed to these weird, uh, fucked up brown eyes. So, yeah, the, uh, the, the first time that, that you, uh, or that people in general, myself, I guess I should say, experience some things sober, whether it be getting up on a stage and playing music for the first time sober or dancing somewhere the first time sober or, you know, intimate relationships. It's like, whoa, I have there has been sort of a nice protective barrier around me all this time. And now I've sort of taken that off. And and the thing about your show I mentioned earlier when I saw you in Nashville was I, I was,

I was sober at that, at that point. And I went there and in your music did have that sort of transformative effect of sort of free, you know, giving that, that, that freeing from the day-to-day cares and moments that alcohol sometimes gives. But it's wonderful when you get it other ways. And so I was really, I really enjoyed that. I really appreciate that. Thank you. So how is it, five months, are you finding it to be a challenge?

Are you wrestling with staying sober, or right now is it pretty easy for you? The benefits and the beauty that has been the last five months far outweighs the difficulty of it. I find life to be beautiful and wonderful, but also difficult and a challenge. I think that that's going to be the case whether I'm drinking or doing drugs or sober. I'm not struggling with that.

I'm very stubborn and set in my ways, and as weak as I can be, I can be that strong. So it's like if I kind of, if I say to myself, this is what I'm doing, and then I start talking to people that I don't know on recording devices like you, it means I'm really ready. I'm ready for it, on, uh, recording devices like you and say to you, it means I'm really ready. I'm ready for it, man. And I'm embracing it. And, um, just like I was when I was, you know, when I was drinking, I drank, I drank a lot and, uh, and now I don't, and I'm, and I'm into that. So I'm definitely, uh, an animal of extremes. Um, and I don't know if that's going to change much. But no, I mean, you know, I think the worst thing that has happened was I went to a party that they have in Nashville, a really fun party with a bunch of my friends, and people

dance and drink and have a great time. And this was some months ago. dance, drink, and have a great time. And it was a little, and this was some months ago. And I went in and I found that it was, it was, in fact, a bit more difficult for me to dance and like get into it. And I left and I was like, man, that really sucks. And I thought to myself, well, if that is the, if that's the worst thing, and I had a recording session the next day, the next morning, like if that's the worst thing that's going to happen, that I'm going to feel a little bit more uncomfortable in this kind of, you know, crowded bar dance party situation, but I'll be able to get up tomorrow morning and sing my ass off at this thing, then it's a pretty fair tradeoff. And it gets easier to dance.

You know, it's just, it's like, it ain't these things, booze or drugs or whatever that, and dance, let's use that as a metaphor. I don't just mean, you know, shaking your ass on a dance floor. Um, if you're, if you're able to do it with it, you have it in, it's within you. So I don't know, man, it's, it's a complicated subject because, you know, taking certain things throughout my life did inspire me creatively at times, did, did further the process. And since I've been sober, that has fed my creativity. So I don't regret things that I've done necessarily. Well, I do have some regrets. I can't say that 100%.

But I think it's just the past. And there was good things that happened in those years and shitty things. And within the five months, it's where I need to be. And it feels right. And that dance, I'm in rhythm with my own steps with that. So that's cool by me. And I'll keep going in that direction. You don't see.

Like I said, I told myself when I was a kid that eventually this day would come and that would further me with my things that I'm truly in love with in life, which is

this music and performing and, you know, I still, the dream is still alive that I will find a wonderful,

you know, relationship and stick with that. So, I'll put this new self up against those things and see how it looks. That takes time. That doesn't happen overnight

necessarily. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal?

The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, too?

Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Yep, and it's, you know, I think what you said about, I think all of us, the alcohol or the past, I mean, there was magic in it for a long time, and that's why we did it. It's just at a certain point that magic runs out.

That's right. And, you know, I think I always say that nobody's going to get into recovery until the pain of it is worse than the pleasure of it, and it takes a while to get there and if we're talking about the two wolves you know being the two wolves you're right nobody starts to do these things in a such an intense addictive way it feels like you're like you're feeding the delight and it can if you're a poet or a or a painter or a musician or whatever you are or just trying to be comfortable socially it feeds that fun like you know like I could talk a little bit easier. I feel like I look better or whatever it is, like it makes you feel better. And like you say, eventually you realize that it, it, um, you'd be better off without it. And it starts to feed the dark, the dark side. So that was true for me, man. That's, that's what got me to, to wanting

out of it. Yeah. I agree with you, your insight that all that stuff is sort of inside us anyway. And it's a matter of how do we get it out. And I think alcohol and drugs can sometimes be a shortcut to getting that stuff out. But you hit a point where it doesn't work anymore. And then it's just another level of discovery of how do I, how do I excavate these things that are inside of me that I want to get out into the world? And I don't have that shortcut. That's right. And if you get into that and embrace that, and I'm just, you know, I guess beginning my journey with that, that's a beautiful thing because that's a longer journey for your own personal truths and your own, you know, that it's a, it's a deep, deep well of

that, that we all have within us and, and the shortcuts could get there. You're right to those songs or those poems or this or that. Um, but yeah, I'm, I'm more into the long game than the short game at the moment. So, congratulations. Good luck to you with that. You're in a profession that is certainly challenging in that regard to be kind of around it all the time. But early in my recovery, I played in bands and was around it a lot. And it's certainly, you know, there's plenty of examples of people that do do it. There are.

I enjoy a good challenge, and I've never been too afraid of not sitting in. What I've learned, actually, is at 30, maybe more so when we were really young, but I think there's just as many of us in the field that I am in that are not doing it as there are that are doing it. It just seems to be what happens. Eventually, a lot of us decide that enough's enough, you know. Yeah, that pace will wreck you after a time, that's for sure. Yeah, it catches up with you after a little bit.

Yep. So I want to ask you a couple other questions about a few different songs of yours off a couple different records that I've really enjoyed. I think maybe one of my favorite songs of yours is Diamonds and Gold. Do you, anything you want to share about that song? You can have all the diamonds You can have all the gold

But someday you're still going to get old. You've got to learn to get happy along the way. It's my mother's favorite song of mine. It's one of the songs that kind of comes to you that I didn't have to work too hard at, which I really love when that happens. I think all songwriters are appreciative when that happens. It's not as often as I'd like it to happen. And it was really just self-therapy, advice to myself, a reminder that it's all right. It's all right to smile.

Yep. Got to get a little happy along the way. Speaking of your mom, did you recently do a trip with her and where you guys did a duet? We did. She got on stage and sang that tune with me in Philly. We had a Pennsylvania, Langhorne is a town in Pennsylvania that I'm from. It's right outside of Philly. So it was like a big kind of homecoming show for us there.

And she got up and sang. And then I took her to one of my best friends in the world, who's from Bermuda. And so I've been able to go there a few times, quite a few times. And I took her for her 60th there and had a little solo show. And she joined me on stage for that. Do you get some of your musical talent from your parents? My mom is a great singer. Could have been a professional singer, but didn't take it there.

My dad, not sure if he's got musical talent, but he's a music lover. And my grandparents were huge, huge, huge music lovers. My grandpop Jack was a jazz drummer. My great-grandpop Jack was a jazz drummer. And so I grew up with a lot of music around and a lot of passion and sensitivity in my family for music. I've got cousins that are... My cousin David actually taught me how to play guitar, taught me some Nirvana tunes. And yeah, it's in the family.

I think I heard you say that Polly was the first song you learned to play. Polly, man, that's how I learned how to play guitar. My mom tried to get, well, I begged to get this guitar fixed up, and she agreed to fix the guitar up. And then I got some lessons. But my first lessons I didn't learn anything from because the guy was trying to show me, like, teach me scales, which I still don't know how to do scales, and teach me aerosmith songs and i wasn't into aerosmith so i

couldn't learn and then um i really looked up to my cousin he was in this great punk band in new jersey and i would go and listen to his band play and was just so blown away by it and the feeling it was like one of my first feelings of real life this is what what I'm going to do. And just feeling wild and free. And you know, I could remember that feeling. It's incredible. Um, and yeah, so he taught, he, it, it took not learning from like in, in a, in a real regiment of like, these are your scales, your homework, and here's your arrow from the song to just like in his basement, teaching me poly that, uh, that blew the doors wide open for me. What's next for you musically?

You mentioned you were doing a recording session recently. What's coming up? Well, this has been like time off, quote-unquote, this winter, but I'm not good at time off. So I've been writing for the next record, which hopefully we'll record in the fall, but we'll see how that all pans out. In the meantime, I've just been working on a song called Animal,

actually, that will come out. We're going to have a limited vinyl seven inch release for Record Store Day that comes out in April. release for Record Store Day that comes out in April. And working on some demos and just writing for what will be the next record. And then I've got a tour coming up next month. We're going to get to do Conan O'Brien again on the 18th of February. So keeping busy in the off time.

Got to keep moving. How was it playing busy in the off time, got to keep moving. How was it playing on Conan the first time? It was great. Um, that old thing was crazy because he, um, he spent a lot of time to get like a publicist and manager and you try to like get on the shows and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I got a call or like a text from this painter friend i mean natalie irish who i only kind of sort of know she's a friend now but at the time i only kind of sort of knew and she really loved the band my songs and stuff and she said i just got on conan o'brien i have this feeling

or the spiritual feeling or something that he will love your music. So if you want, send me a CD, and when I do the show, I'll try to get it to him. So I thought that was a lovely thing and very kind and sweet. But I didn't think anything really of it, that it would pan out to anything. So I sent the CD, and lo and behold, she went on and gave our album to one of his producers,

who then gave it to him. He listened to it and really connected and loved the album so he wound up getting in touch with us like personally he wrote me a a note telling me how much he liked the record and that he was hoping that we could come on the show and um it's just been yeah i've been a fan of his and watched his shows since i'm a kid so it was just pretty incredible so we got to go and do a show the first time and then played the Troubadour in L.A. and he came and joined the band and played a few songs with us, and now we'll go back and do it again in a little under a month, so it's been cool as can be. What song do you think you'll play?

Oh, well, I know what song we'll play. We'll play a song called Past Lives. Okay, yep, that's off the latest record. So, yeah, we're excited about that for sure. Well, I think we're coming to the end of our time here. Is there anything that you want to talk about related to the theme or anything else that we haven't covered? I think that music is, at least for me and most people I know, is perhaps the greatest medicine.

So, to music. Yep. A non-alcoholic beverage to music, or if you drink a highly alcoholic beverage. Well, thank you very much for taking the time to join us. I know you have been kind of all over the place, so I'm glad we were able to squeeze in a little bit of time and talk. Me too. I appreciate it, and I look forward to seeing you somewhere out there. All right. Take care. Thanks. All right, man time and, and talk. Me too. I appreciate it. And, uh, I look forward to seeing you somewhere out there. All right. Take care. Thanks. All right, man. Thanks for the talk. Yep. Take care. Bye. you can learn more about langhorn slim and this podcast at one you feed.net slash langhorn