The One You Feed - Mark Shapiro

Episode Date: April 5, 2017

Please Support The Show With a Donation   This week we talk to Mark Shapiro about being authentic Mark Shapiro is a former marketing director at Showtime Networks Inc., Mark left his six-figure corporate job after 12 years and is on a mission to bring more of what’s real & authentic to the world. He is the founder of AreYouBeingReal.com, the Host of The One & Only Podcast, and a heralded transformational trainer, coach, and speaker.  In This Interview, Mark Shapiro and I Discuss... His podcast, The One and Only What "authenticity" means to him What it means to live "authentically" Why authenticity is important How focusing on authenticity can build confidence, liberate you and fulfill you How living authentically can bring huge value to the world That it can be hard not to live authentically His choice to leave corporate America People who are not afraid to be themselves People who are afraid to be themselves How living in alignment with your core values can contribute to living authentically That we're either growing or we're dying To always keep the door open to growth and redefining who we are How to remain flexible to new ideas as we age That though we don't like to be uncomfortable, it's rewarding when we take smart risks and try something new How setting goals and being held accountable supports living outside our comfort zones Doing the thing that scares you the most first thing in the day The questions we can ask ourselves to see if we're living authentically Please Support The Show with a DonationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We take one courageous act and then parlay that into another and then into another and to another and all of a sudden, we're confident people. Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like, garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true. And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking.

Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor,

what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Mark Shapiro, a former marketing director at Showtime Networks Incorporated. Mark left his six-figure corporate job after 12 years and is on a mission to bring more of what is real and authentic to the world. He is the founder of AreYouBeingReal.com, Winning Weeks, The Ideal Workplace, and the host of the One and Only podcast. Ideal Workplace, and the host of the one and only podcast. If you value the content we put out each week, then we need your help.

As the show has grown, so have our expenses and time commitment. Go to oneufeed.net slash support and make a monthly donation. Our goal is to get to 5% of our listeners supporting the show. Please be part of the 5% that make a contribution and allow us to keep putting out these interviews and ideas. We really need your help to make the show sustainable and long lasting. Again, that's one you feed.net slash support. Thank you in advance for your help. And here's the interview with Mark Shapiro. Hi, Mark. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Eric. It's an honor to be here. I'm happy to have you on. I appeared as a guest on your podcast. It's been a while now,

but we had a great conversation then, so I'm excited to get you on and turn the tables on you. But before we do that, let's start like we always do with the parable. There's a grandfather who's talking with his grandson. He says, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. And the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second. And he looks up at his grandfather and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life

and in the work that you do. It's a great parable. And I absolutely love it because it really rings true for me. I'm someone who's very tough on myself. And for a lot of my life, I would constantly be feeding the bad wolf and would neglect the good wolf. So it's something that I've definitely been present to. And even on a good day, I find that my bad wolf still shows up from time to time. And with the light comes the darkness. So when I'm feeding my good wolf, Eric, I feel free. I'm in service and in contribution to others. I'm giving. I'm fun, actually, carefree and sometimes bold and operating from my heart. The bad wolf is definitely the side of myself that I don't love to see the light of day.

I don't love for other people to see the bad wolf, but the bad wolf is kind of a loner and angry and feels like an outsider and unappreciative and I'm a taker and operating from a place of fear and jealousy and, as I mentioned before, hypercritical of myself. So big, big difference between the good wolf and the bad wolf. When you notice that, do you have any ways in which you, if you notice you're in that bad wolf, do you have any ways that work for you to flip it around? Or is it sometimes just a mood and you roll with it? Or what do you do? Sure. Well, I'll start out with what I used to do. And I would just continue to feed the bad wolf and just continue to get lost in that spiral of stories that didn't serve me. So now when the bad wolf starts speaking to me, which it does on a daily basis, sometimes I'll stop feeding it immediately. So that usually works.

And it's easier said than done. But what I'll find is when I first hear that bad wolf speaking to me, I'll first acknowledge it and then kind of look at it from a 30,000 foot view point of view from the macro standpoint and be like, is this really what's real for me right now? Let's look at the rest of the picture because generally speaking, the sun is still coming out on that day. There's still so much to be grateful for and to appreciate. So when I can catch that bad wolf early, I find that's the best way of circumventing going down the rabbit hole. But I also find, Eric, that with that darkness, there's so much room for opportunity and for growth. So on days when I'm feeling like I'm working my butt off, but it's not working the way that I want it to work, and I'm feeling a sense of doubt

or fear or anxiety, I'll take that opportunity to look within and be like, well, what can I do right now? What in this moment can I do to really aid that fear and that doubt? And oftentimes, that will incentivize me to have an incredible brainstorming session with myself where I'll write down a list of maybe 10 things that I know that I could do that would support me that I just haven't done yet. And by getting the ball rolling and then starting to focus more on my vision versus my fear, I find that that really serves me. Excellent. Your podcast is called The One and Only, and you focus really on the idea of being authentic. That's kind of the heart of your work. So I guess I'll start off by asking you to tell me, what does authenticity mean to you?

Sure. So I think, first of all, what I want to share here is that there's a difference between talking about what authenticity means and then actually being it. So I'll first start out with what authenticity means to me. And that's honoring one's feelings in the moment, which I refer to as the micro. And then secondly, living in sync with your core values and lifelong dreams, what you dream about most. And I deem that the macro. And then the third is the wild card in that authenticity is we're always growing and we ultimately have the opportunity to choose who we want to be. So that to me is what the definition of authenticity is. But as I mentioned, there's a difference between talking about what it means

and actually being authentic and being open and speaking our truths. And oftentimes that requires us to be really courageous and get vulnerable. So in terms of interpersonal communications, it's saying that scary thing that you just kind of don't want to say to maybe a lover or to a friend when you're giving them feedback, but it's something that really feels true for you. And it's really empowering to speak our truths. And then in terms of maybe major life decisions, being authentic is if we're working a job that we don't like, like I did when I worked at Showtime for 12 years, I started feeling like this just wasn't my calling anymore. So I had the courage to make an authentic move, which was to leave that world behind to pursue my authentic

endeavors, which was the podcast. Why is authenticity important? Like, what are the reasons for us to make this something that we focus on? Because there's so many different things that we're all trying to be. And sometimes I think that's probably part of the problem. But why authenticity? Yeah, well, I'd say that in order to live a truly fulfilling life, we got to be ourselves. There are 7 billion people in this world, and there's only one of each of us. And what's going to be the most fulfilling and rewarding is when we're really trusting ourselves and living our lives our way. So when we have the courage to be authentic,

it's super duper liberating. And it's what makes us uniquely ourselves. And it's just so satisfying when we have the courage to really speak and own our truth. In my personal experience, Eric, that when I have the courage to be authentic, it really builds a lot of confidence and it empowers me and it creates some really positive momentum, which usually has a ripple effect. So I'd say that's probably the first reason. The second reason why it's extremely valuable to live authentically is that if we're choosing to live authentically in each given moment and we're living our core values, that over time that's going to generate exactly the results that we want in our vision as long as

we're really being true to ourselves. The third is that we create really immense value for others when we're being ourselves because no one else sees the world like we do. No one else has experienced all the same experiences in life as each one of us has. And our perspective is really valuable and it matters. And we can actually be doing a huge disservice to others when we don't speak our truths. And then the fourth is that we all want to fit in and belong. That's something that I know we can all relate to at some point in our lives. And when we try to fit in and we try to conform, we're not being ourselves. And usually that doesn't work. It definitely hasn't

worked from my perspective whenever I try to fit in. But what I found really does work is when we're ourselves, we don't have to try to fit in. We naturally belong. And Brene Brown has said that. And I completely agree with that. And when I look at people in my life that I think are just incredibly charismatic and attractive, they're usually pretty authentic people. They let themselves be seen. They don't care too much what other people think about them. And that makes them

incredibly attractive. And that's also super liberating. So I'd say those are probably my top four reasons why it's important and valuable to be authentic. And then on the flip side, it's hard not to be authentic and just try to keep up with the Joneses. And when we're not speaking our truth, that really opens up the door to be disconnected from other people in our lives and feeling misunderstood. And it's a great way not to feel good about ourselves and to kill our dreams when we're not honoring them. I agree completely. I think I have, I've said this on the show many times, that the more of myself I started to bring to situations, whatever those situations are, the more that I kind of brought all of me instead of the parts of me I thought belonged in that particular circumstance, everything got better

in all those areas. I had years where I think I thought like, this is the way you behave in like a work situation. And so I brought this part of me. It wasn't a lie. It wasn't a falsity. It was just only part of me. And what I found was when I started bringing all of me and taking more chances in those situations that I got much better at what I did.

For sure. And I can totally relate. I worked in corporate America for 12 years and I wanted to excel and really be successful in that space. And I kind of did everything that I perceived was the right thing to do, the right thing to say, the right way to show up. So to be super duper professional and eloquent and to only talk about the job at hand. And while that worked, I think there was more that I could bring to the table, especially in order to empower my staff and to create connection with others that I think I left

below the table because I didn't have the courage to bring all of myself to work. Yeah, I think so much of being successful in a professional environment is about relationship. And I think that when I only brought so much of myself, then I built relationships that were only so deep or so strong. And then when I brought more of myself, like all of me, the relationships I built, I think were stronger and better. And I think that helps contribute to success. Love it.

So you mentioned something a minute ago and I wanted to touch base on it real quick. And you talked about people who are not afraid to be themselves. And that's a wonderful place to be. But for a lot of people, that seems to be an incredibly difficult place to get to. but you do, you do care what people think. And I think we all do to some extent, right? It's, it's how, how strong is that drive or how strong is this worry about what people think of us, but what are ways we can move towards caring less about what people think of us in, in the negative way that we think of that term? Yeah, I would say I first, I totally agree with you that I don't think there's anyone on this planet that doesn't care what other people think of them. We're human beings and we want to be loved and we want to

be in community and we want to be respected. I mean, look at our president right now. He's always talking about his crowd sizes. So he's definitely trying to people please and trying to be liked. Whether he's effective at that or not, I'll let you guys decide that. But I think that that is inevitable. So I think one way of circumventing that or really grounding yourself and staying in your power is doing the best job at being yourself. So that's living your moral code, standing for what you believe in, and really shooting for the stars in terms of pursuing what you want, doing what you're passionate about. All those things, in my opinion, really have supported me personally, and I know support a lot of my clients and people in my

coaching programs, that when they're living their life, and they're on their track, and they're focused on their vision, they're going to be a lot less skewed by all the other variables and specifically other people in their lives and those people's opinions. Because if we're constantly seeking permission from everybody else around us, we're never going to take any action. It reminds me a little bit of the idea of confidence, right? And confidence doesn't seem to me to be one of those things that you can manufacture. I think it's something that comes as a result of actions of a particular type or doing certain things, you know, I think increases our confidence. It's very difficult to think your way into being confident, at least I've found.

And I think it's very difficult to think your way into not caring what other people think. And some of that stuff, I think, just happens with age, or maybe age is the wrong word, with maturity. As I've grown up, all those things have happened more naturally for me in a way that I'm not convinced that I could have done when I was 21 years old. Maybe I could have, I don't know. But, you know, I wonder how much of this has to do with this maturing process. Not that I'm saying that when you're 21, you don't have lots of wonderful skills. But I think one of the things for me that defined that age was that sort of caring more about what people think, trying to figure out what my path was, feeling more uncertain about where I was going. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me.

And to me, what I'm hearing here is just clarity and vision. I think a lot of youth and a lot of people in their 20s, they're just trying on all sorts of different hats and jobs and, you know, ways of life, you know, they're partying or not partying at all. And, and, you know, and with that doesn't give as much opportunity to really sharpen a skill or sharpen a behavioral trait like confidence. So with that clear vision, I think allows us to get more reps in this kind of figurative gym and to get more effective at being who we are, or at least who we're telling ourselves we are or at the job at hand. But as it comes to confidence and even authenticity or vulnerability, these things are

muscles. I don't think they can be easily manufactured, but they come with practice, and they come with putting ourselves out of our comfort zone and being courageous. We take one courageous act and then parlay that into another and then into another and into another, and all of a sudden, we're confident people. And I can definitely say that I've had that experience in my life. As I mentioned before, I worked at Showtime Networks and Sales and Marketing for 12 years. And it was a really good six-figure job. And I was happy there. I was certainly living a good enough life. But I always thought that I was capable of something greater. But I'd worked at Showtime my entire professional career. And if I were to leave, I'd have no idea what I would do. I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur and have my own thing. Don't know if that was a product or a

service. But when I was working at Showtime, I just couldn't even comprehend what that product or service would be. So I had zero confidence in myself professionally outside of the role that I was in at Showtime. And I guess fortunately for me, I was doing some things on the side. I was doing a lot of emotional intelligence work and personal training and created my first authenticity workshop. And then I realized with that workshop, like, hey, I actually had something. I can create something outside of a Showtime marketing campaign co-branded with DirecTV. And then started walking down that path and turned the workshop into a podcast and turned the podcast into a mastermind program. And it's one step at a time and flexing my muscles and getting stronger and stronger and daring greatly every single day. And with that said, who knows what

tomorrow will bring? And there's going to be so many challenges that come and I'm probably going to be scared shitless, but I'm going to put my best foot forward and be courageous and remember what has worked, try not to take things too seriously and we'll see what happens. Yeah, I think you're right. I do think that those things are a muscle that you can work regardless of what age you are and those things add a lot of value. I think one of the things that might have helped me when I was younger was really understanding and accepting that it's okay that I don't know yet. I think there's so much pressure to be like, I gotta know, I gotta know. And sometimes we're not there. And so I think in general,

anywhere we are in life, if we can relax into it a little bit, you know, it's one of the central dilemmas. I think that dilemma is the wrong word. One of the central paradoxes that I think this show circles all the time is this, you know, how do I be ambitious or how do I want to change or become a better person or do all that? And how can I be where I'm at content in the life I have present in the moment? You know, how do those two things, how do you balance those two things? And I think that's kind of what we're talking about here. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Enjoy, enjoying the journey and also creating time to explore. Uh, We're either growing or we're dying. And I think on the flip side of what you were saying earlier in terms of people maturing and

potentially building confidence, you see a lot of people in their 40s to 60s being incredibly successful in their careers because they've been putting in the time for so long. And then I think on the flip side, within some of those situations, is when we get too stubborn as to how we define ourselves, we close ourselves off to possibility and to additional vehicles of growth. And I think an extreme example of it is my grandparents never learned how to use smartphones. And now they're not really able to drive anymore. My grandpa's still driving, but he shouldn't be. But he doesn't have a smartphone, so he can't use Uber. Right.

So I think it really is that testament to all of us that it's okay to feel like we know who we are, but to keep the door open for growth and for learning because who knows what could present itself if we have that open mindset versus having a fixed mindset, which in my experience, when I had a fixed mindset, when I was working at Showtime, I felt my box was slowly shrinking. And now that I've kind of opened things up, I feel like anything is possible. Now that I've opened things up, I feel like anything is possible. I think anything is possible. With that said, I can create what I want, but it's probably going to take an incredible amount of personal growth. There's probably going to be so many obstacles along the way that I'll get the great pleasure

of navigating through. Thank you. And here's the rest of the interview with Mark Shapiro. I always wonder, like, when is the technology going to come along that stops me? And maybe it never will. Maybe, you know, but I just always look. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by.

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel

might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really? No, really. Yeah, really. No, really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really? No, really. And you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Look, and it's just funny to think like sometime in the future, like I'm going to be way behind the times. I probably am in certain ways already, but it's just fascinating to me how quickly things change. And I've been thinking about that, like what causes people to sort of harden into a very set beliefs and values and experiences and stay very small as they age,

what is that process? And how can I circumvent that? Like, what are the ways to remain flexible and malleable and open to new experiences as we get older? Because there's definitely some core, you know, I guess age seems to be the thing on my mind tonight. Some correlation there that, you know, more people as they age harden into those things. It seems to be something that comes with age. I don't think it's inevitable, but it does seem to be one of the risks. Yeah. What I'd say is that why would anyone want to be uncomfortable? So we have a really low tolerance for pretty much anything because we've gotten so good at playing it safe and we've gotten so good at avoiding discomfort that why would we do anything differently? So I think it's important to remind ourselves the times where we have been courageous or

taken a smart risk. Maybe it was like going on a ropes course, or maybe it was asking someone out or leaving one job for another job, but remembering how rewarding risk-taking can be when we're taking smart risks, not when we're operating from a place of pressure, but it's incredibly rewarding when we do take smart risks and open up the doors for something new and something different. And unless we give it a try, we'll truly never know.

So I think that curiosity is just so important as well as being open and taking smart risks and being courageous. Yeah, I think that's so much of it. And just, I find myself having to push myself. You know, I'll think like, that sounds like something that would be fun to do. And then when it comes, I just don't feel like it in that moment. And I really am like, no, I'll be very happy if I do that. I'll be very happy if I do it. So, you know, kind of pushing myself because the comfort zone is definitely there and I have to consciously work against it. Yeah, totally. And I've heard you talk about goals a lot on your show in the past. And that's what comes alive for me when we're talking about this, because I find that when I'm setting goals

and declaring them, I have an eight-week mastermind program called Winning Weeks where we set goals every single week. And I've set all these goals of things that make me feel really uncomfortable. And if I'm being held accountable to other people, I want to be able to accomplish the goal.

And that usually evokes me into action. And generally, exactly by the time that I declare I'm going to accomplish it by, but sometimes I won't accomplish that goal for like two to three weeks. But the reality is by declaring that goal and being held accountable, I'm still accomplishing that goal or I'm still moving forward, maybe reaching out to someone I want to have on my podcast or taking some kind of big risk or scheduling a workshop, putting myself out there in some kind of way. And even doing it in three weeks, even though I set the goal for one week, it's still happening versus just being like, oh, someday I want to get that person on my show,

or someday I want to do the workshop. And it maybe happens in six months or never. I agree. I mean, sometimes the time schedule isn't exactly the way we planned it, but being conscious about it, being focused on it and having people hold us accountable does accelerate those processes a great deal. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that whole eating the frog analogy, I definitely find to work as well when I've got a lot on my plate to go right at the thing that intimidates me and scares me the most. Knocking that out first and having the pleasure of doing that first usually just opens up the rest of my day to feed my good wolf and to accomplish everything else that is on my agenda. So you have said that there are questions we can ask ourselves to see if we are being authentic.

What are some of the questions that we can ask ourselves if we want to check in in this area? Yeah. So my signature question is, are you being real? So I have a website called areyoubeingreal.com. And that's a question that you can just ask in general, are you being real? And people are usually very quick to answer yes on that question, which is essentially the same question as, are you being authentic or are you authentic? And what I find is that people typically say, oh yes, I'm super authentic. And sometimes it gets me in trouble. And then other people say, oh, like I do my best. You know, it's one of my core values to be authentic and to speak and live my truth. And then there's other people that like, they're not even in the conversation at all. And that's okay too. But what I found is that it's really not a

black and white question. Like either you're being authentic or you're not being authentic because in this world we are faced with a million things and events and decisions every day that challenge and test our authenticity. So to me, it's definitely not a black and white thing. And that's kind of why I came up with this, are you being real question? Because it can be asked about anything. So are you being real? So are you living a life that's really authentic to you? Or are you being real in what you say? So when you feel passionately about something, maybe something that's bothering you in one of your romantic relationships that you speak up about it. How many do you have?

What'd you say? You said one of your romantic relationships. How many do we have? That's funny. That reference is a past time in my life, not a current one. A little slip right there. But yeah, so are you being real with what you say? Are you being real about your career? Are you being real about your finances and aren't looking the other way from your finances, pretending like they don't exist and that you'll just win the lottery tomorrow? Or are you being real about what's fact and what's fantasy? Or are you being real about your health?

Are you being real about the way you spend your time in that the way you spend your time actually aligns with what's most important to you versus just spending your time on whatever feels good in the moment? Oftentimes, we avoid what's real by distracting ourselves with our phones and social media and food and sex. So that's really my signature question that I encourage people to ask themselves about anything and everything because I find that it's a great check-in. But in regards to additional questions, what do you want more than anything else and why? And the why is an important question because sometimes the reason why we go after things we want, the why is just kind of made up and actually really wouldn't be fulfilling for us.

So I'll give you an example of one why for me is a couple of weeks ago, I put up a post on Facebook asking people about video cameras because I want to get more into video. We're living in the digital age and I'm looking to grow my business and my brand and figured if I make more video content, then that would attract in more people. And then at the same time, video cameras are very expensive. I think the one that people recommended to me was well over $5,000. And I asked myself, why do I want to do this? And the reason why I want to do it is because I want to make a greater impact. But at the same time, do I really need to spend $5,000 on a video camera? Can I use my iPhone in the interim? Can I use my webcam in the

interim? Is it about the camera or is it about the quality of the content? So by really getting into really just that thicket of the question allowed me to come to my answer, which is, I do want to buy a camera, just not right now. And it would be great to grow my podcast, my brand, and I'm going to put myself out there as I have been doing with creating more video content. But at the same time, really adding value for my current audience, both on the podcast and adding value for my mastermind program winning weeks, those things are higher priorities for me than having the highest quality video content, which basically helped me make the decision not to buy the camera. Yeah, I love that idea of asking ourself if we're being real in all these

different areas. That's such a good way to think about it, Because I think it's very possible to be real in certain areas and completely not being real in other areas. And as you went through those various different areas, I had a couple of those like, well, hmm. Yeah. You know, it's challenging to have authenticity in all those different areas sometimes. Sure. I mean, we have limited bandwidth. There's only so many things that we can focus on at all times. So that's why I think it's important to take inventory on things. But I'm just curious, Eric, what is one area of your life where you could feel like you could be more real with yourself or real with somebody else? Probably finances, although I mean, I pay attention to them, but maybe not as much as I should sometimes. It's just an area I don't devote

much time to, which I think has its pros and its cons. But that was the first one that came to mind. And then health was another one that I have felt lately, like I've been kind of on the edge of eating well and not eating well. And it's just been something I just haven't really given the focus to that I've kind of wanted to. And so it's one of those things that I just kind of keep letting slide by. So those were the two that came to mind for me. Yeah, I mean, I can definitely admit that the food that I put in my body, oftentimes I choose ignorance

versus thinking about where the food came from before I ate it. And I won't even take a moment to honor where the food came from before I put it in my body. So to me, that's definitely not being real about it. That's true. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make

the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today.

How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening?

Really No Really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Choosing ignorance or the fact that I eat out most meals. So those are definitely opportunities that I can focus on that can help me really align with being real with myself and being truly grateful for all the abundance that really is out there.

And I think that's a great way to feed our good wolves. Yeah, gratitude is definitely a good way to do that. Question for you about gratitude, because gratitude is one of those things that everybody talks about it these days. And I've been very focused on doing a daily gratitude practice. And one of the things that I run into gratitude practice. And one of the things that I run into is just days where I just don't feel very grateful for anything, or I'm kind of rehashing the same ground, or I'm going through the motions, I'm writing it out, but I'm not necessarily that in touch with it. And I'm just curious if you have that sort of thing and how you, what you try and do to snap out of it, if that is happening, or if maybe that's just

the nature of when you do something every day, there's, there's days where you're more into it and other days and that you're not. And the important thing is to do it. Both really resonate with me with what you said. Some days I am focusing on everything I'm grateful for, you know, the roof above my head and all these incredible relationships in my life and the fact that my commute in Los Angeles is from my bed upstairs, downstairs. I have it so good. And so some days I can really feel that and get in touch with that. And other days, like even today, I woke up with a little anxiety. I had a lot on my plate today. I was a little nervous about coming on this show. I've been really excited about this day for a long time. I felt some anxiety about it.

Sorry that we dragged it out for six months. No, it's beautiful and was supposed to happen today. But there are some days as well, Eric, as you alluded to, where I find myself in my head, intellectualizing my gratitude versus really feeling it in my heart. So I usually call myself out if I notice that I'm kind of coming from that place where it's just another item on my to-do list for the day. Oh, it's part of my morning ritual. I'm grateful for that beautiful tree outside my bed.

I'm grateful for my family. And most of them live in LA. But I'm like, wait a minute here. I'm just saying this to myself. I'm not actually feeling it. So that usually gives me the opportunity to really drop into my heart. So I find that that works. Not every time though, to be honest.

Yeah, there are times for me. I've been thinking lately about the concept of moods versus emotions. And it just sometimes seems like, at least for me, like I've got a mood system. And there's just certain moods that I get in that I don't know that they're tied to anything very deep emotionally. I don't know that there's, I don't know there's a lot to be done with them sometimes. I mean, I know the main things for me is, you know, to be moving and to exercise and to eat well and to meditate that all those things help manage my mood. But I've been just kind of, kind of recognizing sometimes like,

well, I'm in a down mood or a slow mood or a, you know, a big part of me is just learning to relax with that a little bit and think of it kind of like the weather, like the weather comes, it goes, it changes. It doesn't mean a whole lot. Again, I'm not talking about anything that's pathological or, you know, cause I've suffered from deep depression before. But it's more just sort of rolling with those things a little bit more and less feeling like I'm failing if I'm not always in a happy, you know, go get a mood. And so, you know, I just, it's something that has been on my mind lately. For sure. I know exactly where you're coming from.

I had a few weeks in early January where I was, I hit episode 100 of the one and only, and I made more money in 10 days than I had ever made in a month in my corporate job at Showtime. So that was really like a huge feat for me, having left the six-figure job to kind of start from scratch and make $0 most of that first year. Yet at the same time, I was just scared and unfulfilled and felt all this pressure with this kind of new normal that I was stepping into. And I found myself feeling a lot of anxiety and heaviness and then was judging myself for it. And what I found is that I just needed some time to adjust.

Yes, I created everything I wanted, but it was a little overwhelming at first. So once I was able to kind of turn down that volume and adjust to this new normal and realize that I'm doing my best and that it's life and that it's a blessing that I get to support people and accomplishing what's most important to them and giving them the space to create authentic, open relationships with other people in the community and in their lives. And I realized, wow, I get to have fun with this. And the second that I allowed myself to see that and feel that, everything shifted. And during those dark windows, like I'll meditate and oftentimes I'll still have action items on my to-do list, but there's dark days, like dark days are absolutely

inevitable. Everybody feels them. And you know what I've learned similar to your analogy with, with the weather that they, they come and go and consistently over time, I tend to spend, I tend to have more sunny days than dark days. And I tend to find the gold in the dark and turn it into light and create the momentum that I seek. And something that I love to share is we're human beings. We struggle. That's a part of life. A lot of it is self-imposed. But as long as we're going to feel that anxiety and stress in our lives, we might as well feel that and accomplish our goals and live the life we want to live versus just feel that anxiety and that stress and live a life that is just good enough.

Because it's pretty easy to settle for a life that's good enough and to call it a day and be like, that was awesome. But we're only on this planet once. We have limited time. So I always encourage everybody, no, don't settle for good enough. If there's an opportunity to chase a dream, then go for it. And that doesn't have to mean to quit your job, but to incorporate some passion into your life and to be in contribution to others. Because I think that at the end of the day, we want to feel like we're here for a reason. We want to be seen. We want to feel like we made a difference and that we mattered. And the way to really matter is to make a positive impact

in the lives of others. Well, I think that is a great place to wrap up a wonderful closing statement there from you about how to approach life. I thought there was a lot of wisdom in that. So, you know, I referenced a couple of times in this show jokingly about how long this took for you and I to do this. You know, the listeners, like we had appointments, I had to cancel several times, just things that came up at the last minute. I think you had to reschedule at one point. We finally got on the phone at one point, and Skype did not cooperate at all. And so we've been trying to get this done for a long time. So I'm glad we finally did.

I really enjoyed talking with you, Mark. So thanks for coming on. Likewise, Eric. And I think there's wisdom in that, that even though we both wanted to have the conversation, there clearly was some kind of higher power out there that said, no, not right now. And like I said before, I love your show. I've been listening to it for a really long time and see this as a big opportunity for me and really appreciate you giving me this opportunity to come and share with your listeners

on the show. So I really appreciate it. Throughout the whole process, I'm like, this conversation is going to happen when it's supposed to happen. And honestly, I feel like I've grown so much since that initial date that we had on the calendar that frankly, I'm grateful that it happened today and not then because I hope that I've shared more wisdom

and more of myself with everyone who's listening. And hopefully you've gotten more out of it in a way that will support you and bringing more of what's real and authentic into your relationships and across your life. Excellent. Well, yep, it did happen when it happened. And that's the way it is sometimes. So again, thanks so much, Mark. And we'll talk to you later. Sounds good. Thank you so much, Eric. Have a beautiful day. Okay. Bye. If what you just heard was helpful to you, please consider making a donation to the One You Feed podcast. Head over to oneyoufeed.net slash support.