The One You Feed - Mini Episode- The Exhaustion of Avoidance

Episode Date: November 30, 2014

Eric discusses how tiring avoidance can be and proposes some solutions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everybody, it's Eric from The One You Feed, and we're back with another mini episode. This mini episode is called The Exhaustion of Avoidance. On a recent show, we had Robert Biswas Diener on and he said that avoidance is the tectonic issue of our times. Here's a confession for you. I am a best in class avoider. I have crazy good skills in this area. If I'm not living consciously or paying attention, I will avoid a difficult or unpleasant situation if I can at all. And right at this moment when I came up with the idea for this episode, I am avoiding something that I don't want to do. I have a problem that I need to solve for a consulting client, and I don't want to do it.

So one of the things, though, that I've realized about myself lately is that when I'm avoiding something, especially work-related, I get very tired. I can notice it. I just overall get tired. And I don't think I was ever able to tie that together before. I start to get restless and morose. I'll start to surf the internet and that tends to numb me out and make me forget time. In the past, days could go by like this. However, I think more recently in the last couple years, certainly, I've become more conscious that I'm doing it. Doesn't mean I don't do it. I just

don't think it goes on for nearly as long. But what's amazing to me is the conscious that I'm doing it. It doesn't mean I don't do it. I just don't think it goes on for nearly as long. But what's amazing to me is the difference that I feel from when I'm sort of listlessly avoiding something and when I undertake it and actually start to work on it is remarkable. My mood almost instantly lifts. Now, this is not always easy to do, but like most challenges, I have a formula that I use to make progress. First, as with almost everything, is awareness. I've got to realize that I'm doing it. I've got to realize why am I feeling tired, listless, and sad the next thing and do it is obviously. But part of what I've realized is the reason that I'm not working on something very often is because I don't know how to,

or I can't see my way through everything I have to do, or I feel overwhelmed by it. So what I've found that works really well for me is to start by deconstructing whatever it is into its smallest possible pieces and at least get clear on what the first one or two of them are. So how can I take this thing like, okay, I've got to solve this problem or I've got to write this paper, and how can I break that down into very small pieces? In order to get the seven habits courses, I've had to do that

because coming up with all that can be overwhelming. So I break it down into smaller and smaller pieces. The first thing is I need to read the chapter that I'm going to work on. The next thing would be that I need to take notes on it, whatever those things are, but deconstruct it into the smallest possible pieces. And then I use my tried and true five minute trick where I find a timer, I set it to five minutes, and I tell myself that I only have to do this thing for five minutes. That is almost always a small enough interval to get me started. And after that five minutes, usually momentum is kicked in and I'm able to keep going and make some real progress. able to keep going and make some real progress. And usually the only time I get stopped after doing it for five minutes is if again, I haven't broken the thing down into a small enough thing,

I'm uncertain or I can't figure out what to do is usually when I will end up not getting past that five minutes. So that's really for me is become aware of it, deconstruct the task into whatever the smallest thing I can is, and then start work on it. But the big revelation, I think, for me has been how much not doing that when I'm avoiding those things, the toll that it takes on my mood and my energy level. So that's something I've been more conscious of, and now I'm off to do what needs done. So that's it for this week's mini episode.

If you are interested in getting the seven habits course, there are two episodes out now, and you can get both of those by going to one you feed.net and signing up for our email list. And that will get you those two courses. And I've gotten great feedback from some of you so far. I'm glad that you're enjoying them and thanks as always. Have a good week and we'll talk soon. Bye. you