The One You Feed - Richard Rohr Part 2
Episode Date: March 15, 2017Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Richard Rohr, again Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Chris...tian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized. Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation. In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss... That the normal two paths for expanding the soul are great love and great suffering Suffering = whenever you're not in control That Jesus is a map of the human journey That if there's no good reason for suffering you have every right to be negative and cynical How the honeymoon period and the grief period are non-dual states What you're learning in these times is how to stay there and if you don't do this you loose the wisdom that comes with suffering If you don't transform your suffering you transmit it That growth occurs when an individual has just the right amount of feeling safe and ok within the conflict And friendship and love give us this safety to hold us Order - Disorder - Reorder How we don't really want to see the pattern of loss and renewal in life When you hear truth, don't ask "who said it?" Just ask, "is it true?" And if it's true, it's always from the Holy Spirit How important the undeserved nature of Jesus' suffering is Grief = Unfinished hurt How we grow up in a world that is disenchanted That it's hard to heal individually when the culture one lives in is so dysfunctional Clear seeing means seeing the whole picture without our filters in place How love applies to imperfect things, and it's a terrible mistake to wait for things that are "worthy" of our love and perfect The reality and wisdom of "carrying the burden of the self" The greek word for sin literally means when you're shooting the arrow and you miss the bullseye which doesn't mean a culpable thing that makes God not like you How the clergy haven't been very motivated to move beyond a simple, punitive version of God because it keeps the laity codependant on the church Relationships based on Guilt and Shame and You Owe Me are largely co-dependent in nature - it passes for love but it isn't Much of religion - the church, catholic and protestant is built on codependence between the laity and the clergy It has been job security for clergy to keep things this way because you keep people coming back on shame and guilt (the lowest level of motivation) The truth is that God is infinite love. Any other version of God cannot continue and it doesn't lead to God's true nature Evil is almost always absolutely sure of itself - it suffers no self-doubt That faith is balancing the knowing and the not knowing How fundamentalist Christians have moved too far away from this That the great sin of America is superficiality How democracy only works if the people have some degree of awareness and critical thinking The incarnation is finding God IN things, in this world Christian meditation is freeing yourself of yourself so that you can see God in everything The "true self" is unique for every person and is also completely united The "false self" (not the bad self) is the raw material God uses to break you through to your true self. It's cultural, it's passing Please Support The Show with a DonationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Normally, when you give yourself to great love, you're setting yourself on a path of great suffering.
Welcome to The One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance
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really, no really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Father Richard Rohr,
a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to
the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the perennial tradition. He is a Franciscan
priest of the New Mexico province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation.
Richard's teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy, practices of contemplation
and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion,
particularly for the socially marginalized. He is the author of numerous books, including
The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, and his newest book, The Divine Dance,
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And here's part two of our interview with Richard Rohr.
Picking up from kind of where we left off talking about changing ourselves as a primary thing,
one of the things that usually drives us to want to change ourselves is suffering. You talk a great
deal about suffering being one of the main tools of transformation. You actually talk about love
and suffering as the two. You say, almost without exception, great spiritual teachers will always
have strong direct guidance about love and suffering. If you never go there, you'll never
know the essentials. You always quote me so well. You wrote it, I just got to repeat it.
You know, first of all, let me give my simple non-dramatic definition of suffering. It's
whenever you're not in control. So you have to practice not being in
control, or frankly, you become a control freak. And it's situations where you're not in control,
where you can hand over control to someone else. I'm sure we learn this in every relationship.
For a marriage to survive, you have to learn it. But I think for a relationship with the divine, you have to learn it too.
That if you're going to allow someone else to steer your ship,
you have to at least on occasion give up self-steering.
So that's called suffering.
I use the silly example of a red light,
where for 30 seconds you don't get your way.
You want to get across that street and who of us
doesn't know that experience? It's essential messaging. It's foundational learning. People
who don't learn that become entitled narcissistic control freaks, as I said before. Now, I think none of us wants major suffering, but I think that's when it gets hard
to understand. Why is so much asked of some? For the last two years, I've been thinking of the
women and children in Syrian refugee camps. Why? Why? Why should anybody have to suffer that much?
Why? Why should anybody have to suffer that much?
I don't have a rational answer for that.
Mystically, I can see it as the eternal suffering of God,
and God is going to transform all of it.
See, I see Jesus as a map, a map of the human journey.
Carl Jung said that too.
And we came forth from God, and we will return to God. And there's suffering in between.
we came forth from God and we will return to God. And there's suffering in between. If I couldn't see that, that this suffering is going towards some kind of transformation, it would be very
hard for me not to be very cynical, very negative, very disbelieving. I have to believe that there's
meaning. And I use that word meaning with all the meaning I can put into the word meaning.
If there isn't some meaning to suffering,
you have every good reason to be a bitter person,
especially once it happens to your family or your child or your partner.
But apparently you've heard me say the normal two paths of expanding the soul
are great love and great suffering.
And normally when you give yourself to great love,
you're setting yourself on a path of great suffering.
It's almost inevitable.
Now, the way I teach contemplation
is that I don't think you have to learn my sophisticated or Zen Buddha's sophisticated way of teaching meditation or contemplation.
But I'll tell you this, if you do learn it, it is a way of sustaining what you learn in great love and great suffering over the long haul.
You see, great love, as you well know, the honeymoon cannot be maintained,
that wonderful period of the honeymoon.
And the unique liminal space we're in after in grief too, in great suffering.
Thank God that can't be maintained in that level of sadness or depression.
be maintained in that level of sadness or depression. But you are in a non-dual state during those periods, in the honeymoon period and the grief period. Now what you're learning
in contemplative practice, strictly called, is learning how to stay there.
The wisdom you learn of holding the field open. I don't need to divide
to what I like and what I don't like. It is what it is, what it is, and it's okay. That,
for contemporary men and women, has to be learned, has to be taught. Otherwise,
you lose the honeymoon, you lose the wisdom of suffering. Usually a matter of months, sometimes weeks, sometimes days.
Well, I think it was Thomas Merton, and I'm just going to paraphrase,
and I think you mentioned it in one of your books, this, you know, watch out for success.
Well, yeah.
You know, it's one of the surest ways to avoid transformation is to be very successful.
Because you don't, why change if you feel like things are going well?
That's why
jesus says it's so hard for a rich man to know what he's talking about yeah because a rich man
is a man who's given his whole life to his personal success normally yeah suffering as a as a path to
transformation is is relatively well known krista tippett who does on being i think you had a
conversation with her not too long ago yes it's supposed to come out around Easter, she told me.
Yeah, I can't wait to hear that one. But she says something along the lines of,
you know, we don't become great in spite of our suffering, but because of our suffering.
Does she? Good.
But you also use a phrase that says, if you don't transform your suffering,
it becomes a wound.
You transmit it.
You transmit it. So what happens? One person
becomes another person and they become wonderful and warm and loving and somebody else becomes
biblical, biblical. That's a word for bitter and cynical together, a biblical person.
What are the elements that cause transformation to occur?
You know, I said to the class last week, when I see people change for the good
is when there's this, I'm going to call it judicious combination of feeling safe and okay
with conflict. You have to feel safe and okay, or you won't have a big enough soul to embrace the conflict. But
there has to be conflict. The way I've been teaching it to the students for
growth to happen. I say picture three boxes order, disorder, reorder. And there's
no non-stop flight from the first box to the third box to grow up you must go through
conflict disorder now christian language would be the the cross that a wrench has to be thrown
into your neatly constructed first box of so-called order, your salvation project, as Thomas Merton calls it. It has to
fall apart because you're not in love with God at that point. You're in love with the idea of being
in love, and you're in love with yourself. You don't know that when you're young, but of course
you are. You only can see that later and say, I did not yet know how to love. And yet God used me anyway, and God grew me up anyway.
Doesn't mean it was wrong. So when there's this wonderful combination of enough conflict
and enough safety, just put it that way, that's when it moves to the next level.
When there's too much conflict and not enough safety, you just get cynical.
You get angry. You get rebellious. You have to feel yourself being held, being sustained,
being believed in. And that's what a partnership does for you. Okay, I can't believe in myself
right now, but she smiled at me. You understand? That'll hold me for another half day.
And that's why we have to give that to one another,
because we can't always engender it inside of ourselves.
So we need to mirror the best for one another.
That's what friendship means.
That's what love means.
I think back on my moments of, my big moments of suffering,
you know, heroin addiction uh a
divorce and and i'm thinking about what was what was holding me in those moments and i think the
first one was alcoholics anonymous aa was holding me so many have told me that and then i think the
second one funny enough was pema chodron even though i don't know her but there was something
about her wisdom her wisdom and that belief in your essential goodness underneath of it all.
She's a marvelous teacher.
She sure is.
Wow.
Well,
good for you.
Both make sense to me,
you know,
but God gave you that to hold you.
I'm going to read something else you say,
because I mean,
you say it so well,
I can't help it,
but the loss and renewal pattern is so constant and ubiquitous
that it should hardly be called a secret at all, yet it is still a secret, probably because we do
not want to see it. We don't want to embark on a further journey if it feels like going down,
especially after we have put so much sound and fury into going up.
Yeah, that's the gist of my book, Falling Upward. Now, the Catholic language for that, which most people don't understand,
was the Paschal Mystery.
And it was called a mystery because it isn't logical.
It isn't common sense that the way up is the way down,
that the way through is the way of letting it fall apart.
The previous stage always has to disappoint you,
fall apart for you to go on to the next stage. You know, if I had to say, no offense if you were
raised in the Protestant tradition, but the great Achilles heel of Protestantism, because of the
period of history it emerged in after the 16th century, where we were all climbing and capitalizing and achieving and performing,
is there's almost no theology of darkness.
Almost none.
You have to go to the Catholic mystics.
You have to go to the first 1,500 years to get all the teaching on darkness.
And that might be the greatest single liability of Protestant spirituality.
That when suffering, darkness, absurdity, desolation, tragedy come,
there aren't the tools to know how to deal with it.
You can't just quote a scripture quote.
There have to be inner tools.
And that's why the recovery movement has been so important.
Because I think the recovery movement has been so important. Because I think the
recovery movement
brought a language of darkness,
if you will. Powerlessness was their word.
To a Protestant
world that didn't understand
any tools for dealing with
powerlessness whatsoever.
So thank God. I always say, when the Spirit
isn't getting through the main line,
the Spirit comes through.
The duct work has to come through indirectly, like Course in Miracles, Pema Chodron, 12-step program.
Those are all works of the Spirit.
Yeah.
You know, Thomas Aquinas taught us in the Catholic tradition,
when you hear truth, don't ask who said it,
because that will prejudice you.
Just ask, is it true?
And if it's true,
it's always from the Holy Spirit.
If it's true, it's all...
How could that not be true?
If it's true, it's of the Holy Spirit.
I don't care if Pema Chodron said it
and she's Buddhist. Who cares?
Jesus said it and he was a Jew. So
if I'm just going to take Christians, I'm in trouble.
Yeah. I try and do the same thing with listening to music. If I put on a Spotify or whatever and
it's playing, I'll hear a song. Before I go to see who it is, I want to listen to it. I want to
experience it without... Because as soon as I know who it is, I immediately have some...
Oh, he's going to be good. She's going to be terrible.
Exactly.
You've just taught me something. I like that.
That makes sense.
Because I can see my mind work that way.
Well, I won't like him.
Yeah, I can't hear it clearly once I know what it is.
One of the things that you talk about is necessary versus unnecessary suffering. I think
that's a theme on the show a lot. I talk a lot about the second arrow parable from Buddhism. I
don't know if you're familiar with that one where we get shot with the first arrow and that's kind
of what life does to us, right? And then we tend to shoot ourselves with the second arrow. And the
second arrow is what all this means.
Oh, you know, I break my leg, and I'm the kind of person who always breaks my leg.
Or why does this happen to me?
And you talk about, you quote,
Jung saying that so much unnecessary suffering comes into the world
because we won't accept the legitimate suffering.
Again, don't take offense.
I don't mean to say Jesus is my only teacher.
But I think it was important in
the Christian mythology, the Christian storyline, that Jesus' suffering be undeserved, be unjust.
That's crucial to the story, because of the very point you made. Because if it's just, well,
he deserved it, that changes it. But to deal with
undeserved suffering, which is most of it, let's be honest, almost all of it, who deserves anything?
That's the breakthrough to that Jesus was the willing victim, even though he was not the
telling victim, even though he was not the unworthy person, that takes such a high level of transformation to accept that when we're in it, when we're in that position, everything in us
wants to say, you know, I was jailed chaplain here for 14 years in Albuquerque. And I would say,
I never knew whether it was true, but my suspicion was half of the people I worked with
should not have been in jail, maybe more than half,
for all kinds of reasons.
But a lot of them weren't.
They didn't do it, you understand?
And I just would have to work through that with them,
sitting there every day, knowing you didn't do it.
Yeah, I can't imagine. I know.
What it must take to not be bitter.
Yeah.
And some people manage to not be, which blows my mind.
Yeah.
Or when a friend lied about you, bore false witness against you.
Can you imagine the kind of holiness, I don't know what other word to use,
the kind of holiness, I don't know what other word to use, wholeness and holiness are the same word,
that it takes to wake up each day and be happy. I was just on the phone with a prisoner yesterday, a young man who was, I'm quite sure, falsely imprisoned. He thinks he might be there the
rest of his life. He's just in his early 20 just oh so i'm not really answering your question i'm
talking around it but but um if we can't deal with necessary suffering the the cost of being
a human being which is i don't always get my own way i get old my body doesn't work like it used
to when i was your age and all of that is so hard to accept. And I can't change it. You know,
it is that way. But if I can't surrender to those things, imagine if I'm falsely accused tomorrow.
So you've got to use every chance of not getting your own way, not being in control.
You've got to use it as a practice, as a practicing, so that you don't
turn bitter and you can help other people not turn bitter. Because the natural movement of the human
journey is it devolves. You know, the rejections, betrayals, abandonments of life, the people who've lied about you, walked away from you, starting in
your childhood, they pile up. And I'm about to turn 74 in a few weeks, and there's a lot of pile
up there. Now, by the grace of God, I don't think I'm bitter. I don't think I'm cynical, but I have
to fight it every day, every day. Not always consciously, but you know, like I
said, I wake up yesterday feeling just, I think that's some of that leftover hurt. When I gave
the male initiation rites, we had a whole day devoted to grief work. And I defined grief,
as I talked to those men, as unfinished hurt.
And I would just talk to them for a while to find how much unfinished hurt they had in their life.
You would not believe. Men who were completely healthy, normal, happy, successful, smiling,
healthy, normal, happy, successful, smiling.
Once they were given space,
once they were given permission to go there,
I mean, I saw a lot of men sobbing,
unfinished hurt.
And I think we all have to compartmentalize it because we've got to get through another day.
I don't have time to feel this.
And we men are especially good at that,
as you probably know, compartmentalizing it, putting time to feel this. And we men are especially good at that, as you probably know,
compartmentalizing it, putting it to a side,
and so wanting somewhere to be a little boy again
and just cry it through.
And that's what a lot of my men's work was,
helping men do that.
But nothing in this American system
gives them that freedom, space, or permission.
So by the time they're my age, they're highly stuffed men.
No wonder they become addicts.
I drink vodka every night too, or something.
If all of that is just eating away at you, sure. I'm Jason Alexander.
And I'm Peter Tilden.
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Some people call him Papa Bear, so I'm not quite sure why, but just leave it alone, Chris.
Papa Bear.
Actually, this is the rest of the show with Papa Bear part two, because last week was Papa Bear part one.
A lot of us turn to spirituality with the hope of never hurting again. And I think
that's why a lot of people, it feels to me like on a spiritual bunny hop, one thing to the next,
to the next, because I'm waiting for it to take all the pain away. And as I've gotten older,
I think I've recognized it's going to take unnecessary pain away, but it's not going to
take the pain of my mother dying away, right? That's going to happen. It's just the way life is. And the comfort I think comes from knowing
that's part of being human and not taking that stuff personally. And I think that's what like,
you know, your work does, I think for people also is like, this is going to happen and it's not
personal. Yeah. You know, I take what's rather common American occurrence, but I've just known so many people just in the last year.
The dumb thing of a car wreck.
Why did that have to happen to me?
And why now?
I was on the way to this.
It was a normal day.
And my entire, not just day, but the next few months
are thrown into complete disarray
because of that stupid guy who ran a red light.
Oh, you want to talk about unnecessary suffering, but of a mundane nature.
You know, you weren't even hurt maybe, but it's a lot of pain.
Insurance and...
Oh, it sucks.
It sucks.
Yeah.
But we do have a very strong tendency to make it worse.
I'd be the same way.
I'd be pissing and moaning if I got hit by a car.
I've never been in a serious accident.
Because we like to go on the course we're on, don't we?
And we don't want anything to be interrupting it.
Yep.
And I guess that is the...
It's human nature.
That can be the power of suffering, is it interrupts your course.
You have to think.
As you know, I preached in much of the world for many years, and without any doubt, people
in poor countries and poor villages are much more practiced at not getting their own way.
They just don't show that immediate pushback and resentment that we do. It's, oh yeah,
well, this is what every day is i don't get
my own way yeah i was watching the sopranos um and in the show there's this fascinating part
where there's a russian woman who's talking to tony soprano and she says the problem is you
americans expect that nothing bad is going to happen and the rest of the world we expect that
mostly bad is going to happen yes and it ends up sometimes being a grace.
Now, I know it can be fatalism.
I know it can be a negative worldview.
But very often, they can maintain peace easier than we can.
And I think if you're tying it back to this middle way thinking,
is to recognize it's not all suffering and it's not all wonderful.
Yes, very good. You get both not all wonderful. It's very good. Very
good. That's right. I want to talk about clear seeing, about seeing things clearly is another
phrase I think that comes through your work a lot. And you say that postmodern people,
the universe is not inherently enchanted as it was for the ancients. We have to do all the
enchanting ourselves. This leaves us alone, confused and doubtful. You know, Owen Barfield,
who was the spiritual teacher of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and T.S. Eliot, he spoke of original
participation. And he says there's strong evidence that the ancient peoples who naturally felt that
they belonged to the forest, to the family, to the universe, to the sky.
It was an enchanted universe for them, and they were a part of the enchantment. Salvation came,
to use that Christian word, overused word, it came much more naturally. We grow up,
you use the word postmodern too, we grow up in a
world that is disenchanted. Where we're, and the philosophers call it the state
of alienation, you know, that we don't feel we belong to the universe, to the
forest, to the animals, to even our families. I mean, most people are alienated. I'm told most people
have strong alienation from their own family, you know, just because we don't have the skills
of human relationship, even at that level. So that creates a very incoherent universe
where you're grasping for belonging, meaning, goal, purpose, identity.
It's no surprise to me we have such a high amount of mental and emotional illness.
I'm sure any of us can name ten people.
Frankly, we're not trying to put them down, but they're not real stable or not real.
One of them might be behind a microphone right now.
I don't think so but it it breaks our my heart the amount of unhappy unstable people our culture is producing and i find as someone who has worked in the healing ministry trying to pray for people's
healing and counsel them toward healing that it's very hard to heal an individual
when the whole culture is so unhealthy.
You send them back after a wonderful weekend retreat,
and they're right back into the cynicism, the negativity,
the consumerism is going to make me happy, which will never work.
But everybody thinks it will, so they buy it again.
Yeah, it works temporarily.
Just for a few minutes.
If it didn't work at all, it would be so much easier.
That's a good way to put it.
If it didn't work, but it works a teeny bit.
Just a little bit.
Just enough.
Just enough, yeah.
Placebo.
What is clear seeing?
Oh, yeah, that was your question.
See, you're being so kind to me.
You're letting me off the hook.
Clear seeing would be, now this sounds obvious,
it would be to see the whole picture
without my filters of rejection, denial,
resentment, blocking, filtering out.
It is what it is, what it is, what it is.
Now, we all have created our filters.
You have to, to survive.
But when your filters so dominate
that all it gets in is what you already agree with,
what does not threaten your ego,
and will give you immediate comfort,
your seeing is so narrow, so
limited, you're going to be stupid, I have to say it. You're not going to see
reality or yourself or other people very well. So much of the work of teaching
contemplation is helping people recognize those blockages, those resistances, those filters,
and quietly let go of them.
So what can get in is both the good and the bad, which everything holds.
I don't have to just let in the good.
Now once you can learn that, frankly, you're capable of love.
See, I don't think you can love just perfect things.
Frankly, you're capable of love.
See, I don't think you can love just perfect things.
Love applies to imperfect, ordinary, broken, human things.
And I don't know why someone didn't tell us that early.
If you're not a non-dual thinker, you can't love anything.
You'll wait around for, I don't know, Mr. Perfect or, you know, a princess or something,
and then you'll find out she isn't a princess anyway.
It's just, we were done such a number by being given this expectation of finding objects that would be worthy of our immense and perfect love.
In fact, what God gives us things which make us learn how to love because they're imperfect.
And that grows us both up, hopefully.
So that's clear seeing.
To see, you know, when Jesus has some of his banquet stories,
he tells the disciples to go out the highways and the byways
and invite everybody to the banquet, good and bad alike.
In Matthew's gospel, it says good and bad alike.
I think to have your table fully set, as it were, the table of your mind and heart,
you have to invite everybody to the table, both good and bad, the parts of yourself you like.
And there's qualities of my temperament and personality that I started disliking when I was 19,
like my one energy on the Enneagram.
I wish I weren't that way, that I'm so idealistic, perfectionistic, pushy, judgmental, demanding, mostly of myself.
Now, I admit at this age it's become my greatest gift too,
but I still suffer that it's my greatest fault.
Yeah, I don't know that you can untie those two.
That's my point. You got it. You cannot untie those two.
I have to carry the big black bag of what I don't like about myself.
Some of the medieval Catholic mystics in their writing spoke of carrying the burden of self.
It was a common phrase, the burden of self.
Now, you and I were raised in a psychological age where we thought we could heal the self.
And you can, believe me.
I've had wonderful therapists in my life, wonderful spiritual directions, wonderful healing programs,
but I still have to carry the burden of Richard.
And I think we all do.
And when we say Jesus was fully human and fully divine,
I think the divinity of Jesus had to carry the burden of the humanity of Jesus.
And he loved it. He accepted
it. He forgave it. All the evidence is. But most of us had little training. We thought it was to
eliminate the human part, which largely meant the sexual part, the emotional part, the physical part, eliminate it. No. Spirituality of elimination and exclusion is over. We tried it for too many
centuries. And all it created was an exclusionary religion, which was always looking for, you know,
who are the sinners or heretics or black people or gay people that we can exclude now. There was
always a group that we could exclude.
The world doesn't have time for that anymore. © transcript Emily Beynon I'm Jason Alexander.
And I'm Peter Tilden.
And together on the Really No Really podcast,
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You used the word sin there, and I've heard you at different points refer to it in a variety of different ways.
Yeah, probably, yeah.
That's a place that is really
easy to get hung up on is, you know, if you're a sinner, it means you're this bad, worthless person,
right? And you put it in terms to me that seem like a useful, like I look at that and I go,
yeah, I don't want to be like that. That's good. Yeah. You know, so what, you want to hit me with
a couple of your ideas? Well, a few little things. Okay. First of all, the word that's used in the Bible, hamartia in Greek,
literally means when you're shooting an arrow and you miss the bullseye. That's very helpful.
And that doesn't mean a culpable thing that makes God not like you.
And now that's the way, if any of us were raised Christian,
that's the way in my early understanding of sin.
There are certain actions, somewhat arbitrary, I might add,
that this whimsical God has decided upset him.
I don't know if you've read my recent book on the Trinity.
Parts of it, yeah. Divine Dance.
You know, that's the reason we use him,
because when you don't have a Trinitarian notion of God,
you make God masculine almost all the time.
So I was mainly concerned about upsetting God, as if I could.
I was giving myself an awful lot of power that I could upset God.
Culpability.
So it built on parental practices of parenting,
which if I were a parent, I'd probably do the same thing. But most parenting till the very
recent West, and I mean very recent West, and I don't mean all of the West even,
more of the sophisticated West, and even there, most parenting was punitive and shaming that's
the way you control children i probably would have done the same thing if i'd been a young parent
sure because in the short run it works so all of that got projected onto god the father you know
especially if you had a shaming father too. You were just programmed to
believe that. That's why I make so much of prayer, because unless you go on an inner, interior,
mutual, give-and-take journey of prayer with God, most people will settle with a shaming, judging,
guilt-based notion of God. That's such a waste of time. It really is.
Takes much of your life to get beyond it. But once you see that clergy, and here I'm going to be
very critical of my own group, I don't think we were that motivated to move people beyond that.
And you probably know what I'm going to say. It kept the laity codependent,
to use that very good word,
which only emerged 30 years ago, by the way,
this understanding of how you create relationships
based on guilt and shame, and you owe me.
It's not love. It passes for love, but it isn't.
And I mean, I've been a priest 47 years, and I've worked with every group.
Much of religion, Catholic and Protestant, is massive codependency of the laity upon the clergy.
And we perpetuate that. I'm not trying to be cynical or unkind. I'm really not. But we perpetuate that without realizing it,
and largely in the name of job security.
If we want to keep them coming back every Sunday,
the best way to keep the tether, to keep them tied to us,
is shame and guilt and fear of God, fear of going to hell.
The lowest level of motivation.
And so when you appeal to the lowest level of motivation and so what when you appeal to the lowest level of motivation i'm sorry to say this but you get a lot of people in the christian world
who are very lowly motivated people you follow the logic of any world yeah any yeah any world
any world i don't think we can get by
if there is a future to Christianity
with motivating people by fear of God.
Because the God they end up with is not God.
So the whole thing falls apart.
The real people who pray,
the mystics all know
that God is infinite love, infinite.
Remember, that's one of the five. We can't form concepts
of infinity. So we don't know how to imagine infinite love. So we pull God down into a quid
pro quo, tit for tat. Okay, if I obey the Ten Commandments, then he'll love me. Who of us
wasn't trained to think that way? But it has nothing to do with the gospel.
It's not the gospel at all. It's cleaning up, but it's not growing up, it's not waking up,
and it's not showing up. Yeah, you talk about, you say the shape of evil is much more
superficiality and blindness than the usually listed hot sins.
You know, I've even refined that a little bit in recent, maybe it's what we've been through the last 18 months, but I find that evil is almost always absolutely sure of itself.
Evil suffers no self-doubt.
Yeah, I think that's a Bertrand Russell quote, right?
Is it?
Boy, I'm going to miss it. The
problem with the world is that the cocksure are so full of certainty and the other are so full
of doubt. I've mangled that. Okay, but it's the main point. It's the same point, I mean. Yeah,
and see, faith, as I understand the biblical concept of faith is to balance knowing with not knowing.
Now, when I say Protestantism didn't teach the not knowing very well at all,
that's what we're up against in fundamentalist Christianity.
This insistence on knowing and being absolutely certain, that's the character of evil.
What you and I, if we're going to be people of faith, what we have to endure is faith. And the
word faith implies not knowing, you understand? And being able to live with not knowing because,
quite frankly, God knows. And I can trust God's goodness enough. If God knows,
then I can live with it, you understand? And I don't need to know. So it's not only not knowing,
but not even needing to know that you grow in.
That's the journey you see in Mother Teresa
at the end of her life.
You see it in Thomas Merton.
You see it in all of the great mystics
that I would respect.
They can live without being certain.
But people who do evil
suffer no uncertainty.
And that
this has invaded
so much of fundamentalist Christianity
is what scares me.
That they call themselves
believers
not in the classic
sense.
They're believing in a system
that aggrandizes them but believing in a system that aggrandizes them, but believing in a
loving God despite all the contrary evidence, I don't see much of that.
Because anything that's outside their comfort zone, people of another
race, people on the other side of the border, people who are handicapped, they don't seem to have much love for them.
That's the giveaway that we're not dealing with faith anymore.
One of your phrases, we moved from wondering to answering,
which has not served us well at all.
The other definition of sin that you've used was refusing to go into depth
on particularly holy things.
I've said that for many years,
that I think the great sin of America is superficiality.
We're not malicious people.
We're really not.
And we're really very kind in terms of generalized charity and philanthropy.
We surpass most countries.
We really are.
There's so much good about America.
But I would still say that the stereotype that most people have of Americans is we're nice people,
but very superficial. And I think that's true. And that's what happens when you cannot embrace
the dark side of things. You have to remain on the likable,
superficial level. To go to the depth of anything is to see its dark side. And I don't mean that
means you have to hate it. It just means you see it's not perfect. Now, I could also say the
contrary. To go to the depths of anything is to see its good side. So maybe they're both...
Back to that paradox, right? anything is to see its good side. So maybe they're both...
Back to that paradox, right?
They're both equally true, equally true, yeah.
You know, what did they say that most of our television,
the commercials, and the vocabulary
even of the evening news,
and all the sitcoms are aimed for 14-year-olds,
14-year-old minds.
What can we expect?
But what we're getting
now when the
constant pandering is to dumb down
the population
and
that you know even
Thomas Jefferson said this whole thing
of democracy would only work
if we had an educated populace
some degree of
awareness let me just use the word awareness so it doesn't sound like I'm talking about you've got to go to Harvard.
I'm not saying Harvard, but to have the beginnings of critical thinking,
the beginnings of seeing things at a level of truth and not just a level of how do they advantage me.
So a lot of this do they advantage me.
So a lot of this we've talked about contemplation,
we've talked about prayer, we've talked about non-dual thinking.
What are some of the practices in these things? So people who listen to the show have been exposed to plenty of Buddhist meditation teachers.
So I think that part's been covered.
I'm interested in the things from the Christian tradition that are under this umbrella. Let me tell you the big difference, even though
I have learned so much from my Buddhist friends and Eastern religions about shedding of thoughts
and letting go of my filters and all. You know, if the Spanish word for emptiness or nothingness is nada,
the Spanish word for somethingness or things is cosa. And we Franciscans in particular said,
ours isn't the way of nothingness. It's a way of finding God in things. That's the incarnation.
things. That's the incarnation. Why God
came, we Christians believe,
as a person,
a thing, a human.
He wasn't
wanting to take us away from the world,
but trying to help us find God
in the things of
this world.
So I would still learn much
from the practice of
Eastern meditation to get Richard out of the way.
So he can see with the clarity you talked about.
But I still want to see things.
And I don't need to call those trees secular or merely natural.
For me, there's nothing merely natural.
There's only the supernatural.
You know, the early Eastern fathers in Christianity, they didn't limit the incarnation
to the body of Jesus. They say the body of Jesus was the symbol of what God was doing everywhere
all the time. God took on flesh, as John 1.14 says. God took on materiality. God took on flesh as John 1 14 says God took on materiality God took on physicality that matter
and spirit are two sides of the same mystery that the hiding place for spirit is matter
they've never been separate since the big bang this is going to be my next book so if you hear
me getting excited in my talk, it's because this is
filling me right now. I've already talked about it, but now I've got to make it complete.
So Christian meditation is the freeing of yourself from yourself so that you can see God in
everything, even your enemy, even failure, even the dark side. That's good seeing. And it
frees us from these centuries of Christianity where we've tried to get out of this world
for heaven. I think that's heresy. You look at the life of Jesus, Jesus healing people in this world for today. There's hardly any passages where he's
talking about an evacuation plan for another world. You want to talk about destroying the
gospel. We did it with that. A lot of Christians grew up with that understanding. It was all about
an evacuation plan for the next world. Once we recognize it's how to live with freedom
and joy and love today in this world, now you've got a real agent of transformation
for the world. People who love this world, who love the earth, and don't think of that as being secular. You know, I meet people, research scientists and lawyers,
honestly, who don't go to church on Sunday
and who are more passionate about their neighbor
and the future of the planet
than people who go to church every dang Sunday
and don't care about anybody except their own salvation.
I don't have time for that Christianity anymore because I don't think it's Christianity. I don't think they learned either the good
meditation would have freed them from themselves. And so they interpreted the whole gospel in a very
limited, self-serving way, which allowed them to barely love themselves
because they couldn't love their own dark side,
but only to be able to find God in other people
who were just like them,
which usually meant white, middle-class, successful,
heterosexual, and what else?
Not disabled.
That means God loves very little of god's own world very little it's not a very big number no it's not very hopeful and that we've produced so
many christians who live at that level god must just cry that's all I can say. That we could have missed the message that much. But all I can do
is work to do it better myself. I can't point the finger at other people because I know I've wasted
days there. I've wasted more than days, weeks, and months. Tell me about the true self briefly.
Oh yeah, I jumped over that. You alluded to it before.
The true self is your objective self,
your ontological self, I know that's a big word,
your metaphysical self, your eternal self,
your self which doesn't rise and fall.
It's who you are, to use religious language,
it's who you are in the eyes of God from all eternity.
You can't do anything to adjust that.
You can't push it higher.
You can't push it lower.
It's defined eternally
with its divine DNA
as a creature of God.
It's the anchored self.
It's the absolute self.
I'm just grabbing for different metaphors.
Is my true self different than your true self?
Yes.
We've got to maintain uniqueness,
but the true self is also utterly united.
And it took till the 7th century for the church to put that in the creed,
I believe, in the communion of saints.
That's what they were saying.
That once you get to the true self, we're all one.
So I'm glad you put it that way. And yet I have to protect uniqueness. I'm still Richard and you're
still Eric. And that's okay. That's why the title of my next book is Just This. Just This. Now,
you can only fully understand it in contradistinction to the false self.
So the false self, first of all, let me say, it is not the bad self.
It is not the self to be rejected.
I know the false might imply that.
But it's just the raw material that God uses to break you through to your true self.
But it's contingent.
It's temporary. It's transitional, it's relative, it's psychological, it's passing, it's cultural,
it's learned, it's your Myers-Briggs typology, your
Enneagram number, your gender, your gender too, and that's what a lot of people can
accept. Your gender is not your true self.
We could have dealt with gender issues much better if we'd known that.
But we define gender even in a binary way, you know,
eliminating a whole bunch of people who must have had very hard lives in all of history
till we started talking about it in the last century.
Just started talking about it.
That's how attached we are to our binary understanding of reality.
So many things that we define as the essential self,
role, title, bodily shape, appearance, skin color,
those are all the things that are going to die when you die.
They're not absolute truth.
And we go through this world advertising our skin color and our good looks and our hair or lack of hair. All of that,
you're going to lose. You're going to lose if you stay there because all of it is passing away.
And if you don't fall into the true self, the substantial self, the God self, the Buddha self.
I don't care what word you use.
You're like a movable famine.
You're just constantly grabbing for identity, grabbing for who am I now?
Who am I now?
Can you hear me now?
Am I significant now?
I do think the boomer generation that immediately followed me,
I think in the next 10 years,
I can only predict suicide increasing in this country
and addiction increasing.
Because they really, well, every generation does,
but certainly the boomer generation
put all their eggs in the false self basket.
Success, power, money, control, health, good looks.
That's all the false self.
Again, let me repeat, I'm not saying it's the bad self.
But you don't pitch your tent there.
You transition through it, and you don't take it too seriously.
Or it ends up making you settle for very little yeah i love
the word the small self yeah as a term for you know it's like the little it's there it's real
it's important and it's not even bad but it's so limited small self big self is very good which is
why jung capitalized the the one self and yeah small us for the other self.
Well, thank you so much
for spending this much time for us.
Having us out to your lovely place.
Glad you could come
to the land of enchantment.
We are proud of our state.
There's something spiritual about New Mexico.
Everybody who comes here, not everybody,
but an awful lot of people say that.
Yeah, it's been great thank
you thank you you're was helpful to you,
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