The One You Feed - You Become What You Practice: How to Train Your Mind for the Life You Want | Jim Kwik

Starting point is 00:00:00 People think training only happens in a classroom or maybe in a gym, but I think every conversation trains something like patients or impatience. Every setback can be training resilience or avoidance. Every difficult decision, either you don't suddenly become, like say, disciplined. You practice discipline until it becomes part of who you are. Welcome to the one you feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.

Starting point is 00:00:44 And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. Jim Quick thinks work-life balance is the wrong goal. Balance means equal weight. And nobody wants to spend as many hours at the gym as they spend with their family versus what they spend at work. He'd rather you think of your life as an orchestra where every instrument matters and none of them play the same amount. I love that. And in our conversation, I added one. one thing to it because an orchestra doesn't play every instrument at once. A piece of music moves through sections. Sometimes the strings carry it. Sometimes they go quiet so the horns can come in,

Starting point is 00:01:50 and our lives work the same way. Some seasons work plays loud, then it passes and something else takes its turn. His new book is Limitless Daily, a year of short morning readings, each with a two-minute practice. I'm Eric Zimmer, and this is the one you feed. Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia high interest savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit Scotiabank.com slash h-I-SA to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think.

Starting point is 00:02:34 Hi, Jim. Welcome back. It's good to be here, Eric. Thanks for having me. Yeah, it's nice to have you back on again. And we're going to be discussing your new book, which is called Limitless Daily, 366 keys to train your brain, master your mind, and win every day. We will get to that in a moment, but first we will start like we always do, and that is with the parable. And in the parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their grandchild, and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love. and the other's a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear.

Starting point is 00:03:14 And the grandchild stops. Think about it for a second. They look up at their grandparent and they say, which one wins? And the grandparent says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do. Yeah. I think one of the big secrets is having the life you want is stop feeding the one you don't want. for me it's neuroplasticity and imperable.

Starting point is 00:03:43 Neuroplasticity is the phenomenon where we're remodeling our mind. So the brain literally strengthens what we repeatedly use because if we're telling it our nervous system, it's important, right? And the brain really wants to be efficient. And so every repeated thought, every repeated emotion, every repeated behavior, it's reinforcing neuropathways. So every day we're feeding something, not just spiritually. but biologically.

Starting point is 00:04:11 I repeatedly practiced, let's say, gratitude. I'm not just becoming more grateful. I'm making gratitude easier to access tomorrow. I repeatedly practice resentment, compassion, or fear, those pathways become more familiar too. I think the beautiful thing is that our brains are always listening. They're always eavesdropping on those thoughts, and the question is, what are we teaching them?

Starting point is 00:04:37 Yeah, I really like that as a way of thinking of it because indeed it is true. We are shaping the structure of our brain and what happens. And I've joked in the past because it's like neuroplasticity is that word that shows up like in every book that I read to prepare for this podcast. I'm like, if I was going to have a bingo card, it would be on there. But that is because the core idea is so important that what we think about becomes more likely that we will think it. again. I mean, that is just the fact that happens is really kind of amazing and fundamental, and it's good and it's bad news. But the good news part of it is we can always change. And I think it's good just to have this conversation, because I think the most dull change has to start with the awareness, right? We talk about it in Limitless Daily, but metacognition that as humans, we can think about our own thinking, a movie like The Matrix, where Neo, Keanu Reeves, is going to see the all-wise oracle in her kitchen. I don't know, people remember this scene.

Starting point is 00:05:42 She's baking cookies. But when Neo goes to see this Oracle, this all-knowing oracle, right above her kitchen door that he walks through, there's a phrase that says, know thyself. And as human beings, we need two things. We need the curiosity to know ourselves, right? That's why people, they go inside, right? They reflect, because information by itself is not power.

Starting point is 00:06:05 or it's the experience that we reflect on, really turns into real wisdom and intuition. Once you get to know yourself, and people do it through journaling, some people do it with therapies, some people use plant medicine, or they go on silent retreats, whatever the process is.

Starting point is 00:06:20 But once you get to know yourself, like what you stand for, who you are, what you believe, your standards, I think the other part, besides having the crest and know yourself is having the courage to be yourself in a world that imposes their expectations, their opinions.

Starting point is 00:06:36 That Teddy Roosevelt quote speech has been read free in my mind for so long. It just talks about how it's not the critic that counts. The ones out in the cheap seats is the person that's in the arena that's doing the work, that's failing, that has dust on their face and tears and blood. They keep on showing up. And I feel like one of the things that we need to do in life more is to kind of show up for ourselves. I feel like confidence is something that we earn by doing the things we say we're going to do. If there was a lead domino belief or values, like doing what you say you're going to do and keeping those commitments.

Starting point is 00:07:18 I couldn't agree more. I mean, I often frame it as being able to make and keep promises to ourselves. And that is so fundamental in two really important ways, I think. The first is it's fundamental because that's how any change happens, right? We say we're going to do something. We do it. Change occurs, which is good. And that's an important part of it.

Starting point is 00:07:40 But there's another part of it that's really important, I think, which is that when we don't do that, when we don't have the ability to make and keep promises to ourselves. And I do think it's a skill that you could learn. It erodes our self-trust. And that is almost a higher cost than whatever benefit we don't get. out of changing, is that belief that we just don't trust ourselves anymore. So limitless daily is a great way of trying to bridge this gap because what you're trying to build is a small habit in people that is repeatable. So let's talk about that. Someone gets this book. It's got daily reflections. Like, how do you go about starting to incorporate this and use it in your life?

Starting point is 00:08:26 Yeah, I feel that we become what we practice, that what we think and feel and do frequently becomes our frequency. And if we become what we practice, it's a beautiful idea, but also a little intimidating. Are we really shaping our lives, ourselves every day, even in small moments? And I feel like we're always in training. People looked at it this way. We're always rehearsing something, right? We're either rehearsing, mentally rehearsing with our imagination, failure. When I talk about memory, and we've talked about memory, it's more than just the stuff that I teach, remembering facts and figures in foreign languages, client information, product information, giving a speech without notes, remembering names and faith, and this is all very valuable.

Starting point is 00:09:09 But what I want to do with this book is help people remember who they are, right? I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, and one of my 50s, so kind of started a little bit at a different phase of life, which has been a learning experience for sure. But everything is possible with that mindset early on. Like when I had my traumatic brain injury when I was five, when I had learning disabilities, put in special education, not be able to read for, it took me three years longer to learn how to read than the other kids. It really affected my self-esteem, my self-confidence, my worth, right? And when I was nine, I was slowing down in class. I was being teased bad. I was always called Slow, even though my last name really is quick.

Starting point is 00:09:47 It's not like my stage name. It's my father's name, my grandfather's name. but the teacher came to my defense, good intentions. She pointed to me and said, leave that kid alone. She was trying to protect me. She said, leave that kid alone. That's the boy with the broken brain. And that label became my limit because I didn't know I had a word for what I was going through.

Starting point is 00:10:07 So, you know, and adults have to be very careful of their external words because they often become a child's internal words. So every single time I was picked last in sports, which was every week, I would say, oh, because I'm broken. Right. Every time I did badly in school, which is almost daily. I have to say, oh, because of the broken brain. And your mind is always eavesdropping on yourself talk. And it's interesting that I reflect on it. Her sentence only took five seconds.

Starting point is 00:10:31 But I continue that story for 10 years afterwards. That's amazing how that is sometimes. I know, I know, just the smallest thing. And it just, it lodges. Yeah. I called my book in 2020 Limitless. And it wasn't about being perfect, right? It was about progress.

Starting point is 00:10:47 It's about being able to be, do have, share, contribute. beyond what you've demonstrated or believe maybe even possible. But, you know, at that stage, though, I felt I was limited. I think everybody feels a little limited in some area, their happiness or their energy level, their focus, they're learning, their self-worth. And so a limitation was that head injury that led to some serious, like, brain fog and migraines and learning challenges. But I think the bigger limitation was not my brain injury as much as it was my,

Starting point is 00:11:20 my mindset. It was like the limitation of the story I was saying about my brain injury because I was internalizing it and I was saying that's who I was. So what I do believe is that daily practice, that transformation doesn't happen through just an occasional burst of energy. It's been my experience and I train at all the big companies, Facebook, Nike, Google, the U.S. Air Force, the highest performers, and the Olympic athletes and amazing, notable people that perform, they didn't work out over a weekend and all of a sudden they were just fit, right? They're always rehearsing and they're always practicing and we're always practicing. People think training only happens in a classroom or maybe in a gym,

Starting point is 00:12:04 but I think every conversation trains something like patience or impatience. Every setback can be training resilience or avoidance. Every difficult decision, either you don't suddenly become, like I say disciplined. You practice discipline until it becomes part of who you are. You know, that one choice won't define you, but thousands of daily choices absolutely will, right? Duke University says that 40% of our behaviors, which yield the results in our life, are habitual, like totally unconscious. And so I think having a daily practice is so very important. And I do have them practice in the morning. You have a lot of morning routine videos that have millions and millions of views. The idea here

Starting point is 00:12:50 is if you want to win the day, however you define it, you have to definitely win that first part of the day because that sets your direction. And when I was doing research for Limitless Daily, in terms of when they should read it, not just what they should read, but when the day should do this practice, here's something interesting that I think all your viewers and listeners could appreciate and use right away tomorrow morning. When you wake up, there's something called sleep inertia. And sleep inertia is the transition between the sleep state to a waking state. It's kind of like imagine you wake up and your computer is rebooting, right? And it's totally clean, right? Nobody has opened up all your tabs or sent you messages and every kind of things that would take up your focus,

Starting point is 00:13:30 the energy on your computer, the memory. So when you wake up, your alertness is coming online, your awareness is coming online, your focus is coming online, your working memory is empty, like a cup. Like nothing is filled it yet in your short-term memory. Imagine like you're waking up over the winter and there's all the snow outside and it's pristine. And nobody's run their tracks through it yet or footprints and everything. So anything is possible. But in that window, though, and that window could be anywhere from about 15 minutes to 45 minutes when you first wake up. It depends on your circadian rhythm.

Starting point is 00:14:04 It depends on what stage of sleep that you woke up in, like REM sleep or deep sleep. And we can talk about that. This is what is interesting. the mental inputs you choose to let in mentally, right, in that window will have a disproportionate effect on the rest of your day. Specifically in the area what you focus on, it'll influence your focus disproportionately, how you feel throughout the day, and also how you frame just everything throughout the day, conversations and conflict and challenge and everything else. And it's interesting because what does 95% of the population do within that first core, pristine, clear,

Starting point is 00:14:43 full focus window? Check their phone probably. They do. They do. And then so what are they disproportionately magnifying in terms of their focus and their feelings? They get one message, like a text message or social media comments or whatever, and it puts them in a feeling state for hours, right? For like their mood, right?

Starting point is 00:15:03 What do they see? They see comparison. So they start focusing on comparison throughout the. day. They see war or conflict or, you know, all the things that come with, you know, all the distractions of that. So we're magnifying distraction and you wonder why you can't focus with your kids or when you're on work or when you have to study for a test. And so the top achievers protect our attention more than anything. And I feel like this should be priority number one because our life is a reflection of what we attend to, right? Right. Very direct. Nobody would wake up, Eric, and invite in their

Starting point is 00:15:35 bedroom, 200 strangers to talk about whatever they happen to want to talk about that morning. But it's kind of like what we're doing when we're picking up our phone and looking at messages and social media and everything. And so I think that's a challenge because, again, just to be clear, what you're doing is something in science called attentional priming. You're priming your attention for what's important first thing in the morning during that sleep inertia phase more than other times throughout the day because your computer is clean, your whiteboard is clean.

Starting point is 00:16:02 And this is the time, I always say, my mom. for this is like mind before media, mind before media, right, intention before interruption, direction, set the direction of your day before distraction. And on the positive side, what can people put in that window of sleep inertia when they first wake up? They could bond with a loved one, right? That will be magnified. They could do a gratitude exercise. I guarantee people focused on gratitude. And I always tell people, if you want to feel, a wealthy thing about all the things you have in life that money couldn't buy, right? Or what if the only things that you had tomorrow were the things you express gratitude for today,

Starting point is 00:16:45 right? Some kind of gratitude exercise, and those are in one of the entries, right? Yeah. Because I guarantee you primary or do attention and primary for gratitude, you'll see more blessings throughout your day because you're activating your particular activating system to focus on it. Prayer, right, gratitude, focusing on what the three goals are for the day. There are a lot of daily books, right?

Starting point is 00:17:07 Some pull on Christianity or Judaism or Buddhism or Stoicism, a limitless daily pulls on science, the science of the mind, which is psychology and the science of the brain, which is neuroscience. So every entry has a new idea that they could prime their mind for. As a science to back up, that idea has a little story because we learned through parables, as you well know, and then it has a two-minute exercise that they can employ right away. And the reason why that's important is because otherwise information just stays information, right? It never becomes purposeful or powerful because if you don't act on it.

Starting point is 00:17:44 What you feed grows. A lot of people, they struggle with forgetting because they'll listen to a podcast or they'll read something in a book and they'll forget the next day or something at a conference. Because if they're not using it, then you're telling your nervous system, your brain, that this is not important because you're not using it. What happens then? Then it'll delete it, right? you'll start pruning what you just learned and getting rid of it because you haven't repeated it or used it. And so, you know, I hope people will read the book. So the whole book, like, on page, is no more than five minutes.

Starting point is 00:18:16 It's a three-minute read with a two-minute practice. And then it ends with a new identity statement around that specific topic. And I don't think big transformation comes. Like, you don't go to the gym for a weekend and you're fit for the whole year. You don't floss your teeth for three hours and then you're good for the whole year. I think James Clear on the podcast, we had him on our show, and it was like, it was like you improve 1% a day at a subcertain area. People think after a year that maybe what, they'll double that like their progress or maybe triple or maybe five times. It's actually 37 times.

Starting point is 00:18:53 Yes. Consistency compounds. And I put 366 days to account for February 29th the week year because I don't want to get people an excuse not to practice. and going back to identity and self-trust when showing up for yourself, first thing in the morning before the world tells you what's important and what you should focus on and the demands. I feel like earning that first thing in the morning is such a win, and it creates positive momentum. Besides the fact that it'll get more people reading, because after you do it for a few weeks, you're just not like, oh, I have to read this morning.

Starting point is 00:19:27 It's like, I am a reader. Right. Because you created evidence of showing up for yourself, and every single, old time you do. It's a vote for who you say you are and you want to be. When I was in ninth grade, I started working at a restaurant right next to my high school, and I was there every single morning before class because I was obsessed with cinnamon toast that they had. I never got tired of it. So when Kachava came out with cinnamon French toast flavor, I was going to try it no matter what, and it is delicious. It tastes like the thing I remember,

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Starting point is 00:20:56 That's K-A-S-Syver. C-H-A-V-A-com code feed. Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia high-interest savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply.

Starting point is 00:21:18 Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-S-A to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Let's jump into some of the. them because I would just love to give people a little bit of a flavor of the book, and there's so many good ones. So what I thought I would start with is tomorrow's. So I'm going to just read the first little bit of it and then let you talk about it. Okay, here we go. Tomorrow is stop seeking balance, create harmony instead. I love this. How do you create work life balance? What if you

Starting point is 00:21:59 don't. The word balance means equal, except very little in life is equal. Would you like to spend an equal amount of time at the gym as you do with your family? Instead of striving for balance, what if you saw your work life like an orchestra? To create a symphony, every instrument plays its unique part, but they don't all contribute an equal amount. Say a little bit more about that or tell me about like a practice that we could do that. Yeah, I know what day that is too, so I'm pulling it up also as well. August 27th. Yeah, this is great. There's a really cool quick step here where you make a list of the important instruments in your work-life today,

Starting point is 00:22:40 such as your family, your work, you're learning, you're playing, you're sleeping, maybe exercising, and note which instruments might not be getting too much or maybe too little of your time and focus. And then what is one thing you could do today to create more harmony? And the affirmation for this is I create harmony in my life. I am limitless. This is something that I feel like stresses people out because of the phrase, how do you create balance or work-life balance? And again, balance in the dictionary is equal weight. And it's like a balance beam.

Starting point is 00:23:14 And that sounds like stressful to me. Right. Just like the passage says, I don't want to spend an equal amount of time at the gym as I do at work or do everything else. It's not like I think of four things to focus on, and I dedicate six hours to each one. That would be an impossible standard, nor would be practical, right? And so I thought of harmony because it gives you grace, right? There's some compassion that's built into it. There's a science to harmony, but there's also an art of what you're creating.

Starting point is 00:23:42 And I think one of our goals as human beings is I'm a big Bruce Lee fan for a number of reasons, but his goal was totally expressing yourself. And I have a quote on my wall saying the key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. And when I talk about remembering also going back to remember who you are, because I think limitless daily is a daily practice to remind you who you are and what you're capable of becoming and not taking away from who we are now. I'm wearing a shirt right now that says that you are enough. That's a great starting place, but you remember who you are because memory is so key,

Starting point is 00:24:15 not just again remembering all the facts and figures and names and faces and languages But think about confidence is remembered successes, right? Fear is often remembered failures. Wisdom is remembered lessons. Expertise to be an expert in something, your expertise is remembered experience, right? And so memory is very key for everything. You know, it's the foundation for all of learning.

Starting point is 00:24:42 And when we're talking about harmony, when people are coming in with their instruments, they remember how to play it, you know, and they practice it. They don't just show up able to do it. And everybody has the same kind of technical things, but they also bring a different energy, which is the art of creating something. So I feel like I could use a symphony with an orchestra or I could have been like using it,

Starting point is 00:25:03 like creating harmony in your day, being a creative, and you're the author of your story today. Every morning, it's like getting another rep in. And imagine getting 366 reps in a year. You'll be unrecognizable after a year from now. You'd have to reintroduce yourself to the people around you. Yeah, I love the orchestra bit. I also love the idea of thinking about it also a little bit like a symphony, like a score, a piece. Because if you listen to a piece of music, it goes through different phases.

Starting point is 00:25:36 There are phases where it's like the violins really, there's a lot of violin. And then there's another phase where maybe it gets very quiet and things are different. And then there's a period where it's like you get the horns. And I think that speaks to the way that our life is too. It's like sometimes this instrument gets played more than that instrument, right? Like you've got a book coming out from the time you and I are recording this about two weeks or so, less than that, which means this is a very intense time of book promotion for you. So the book promotion section of the orchestra is playing a lot.

Starting point is 00:26:14 that will pass, right? That will pass. And you'll be in a phase then where something else does. Like for me, I mean, when my book came out, I mean, that's all I thought about for a little while. But that passed. And then the rest of life kind of reestablished. So I love that idea of not just an orchestra, but a piece of music where different instruments get more priority at different times. Yeah, I think it's great that we could choose moment to moment where we're going to put our focus and our energy. and our commitment and to whatever we're creating at the time. You know, it is challenging, especially because it's summertime. And I did mention I have two young kids. And so sometimes the travel, I don't normally travel like this, but, you know, but you're right. You know, if you're building a score, there's certain instruments that I'm leaning into right now

Starting point is 00:27:05 with the opportunity to be able to, you know. And I'd be, but I was strategic because even with family, I would make emotional deposits leading up to this, you know, also as well. And then, you know, when this thing is book ended, literally ending the book, but also through the book ends of this promotional period for the book, then I'll put more energy into other instruments. Yeah. You know, I know people part of my team, my orchestra. I wanted to hit May 25th, which happens to be my birthday. And the beginning of this is move your body, change your brain, which makes a lot of sense to me. I mean, I often say that the most important thing I do to power the rest of my life is exercise.

Starting point is 00:27:47 Like, it is the thing. But there is something later on in here that I wanted to get to here, where you're talking about the Duke University professor and neurobiologist, Dr. Lawrence Katz, introduced the concept of neurobics, and practicing daily activities using multiple senses at one time. Talk to me about those. It's interesting. I'm getting feedback from the ones we gifted advanced copies to, like yourself, that they're

Starting point is 00:28:16 hearing something that they maybe either needed to hear that day or put them on this kind of creative ideation for some content they made that day or something that they shared with a family member that needed to hear it. I think as your body moves, your brain grooves and it's so important to use your senses. You know, let's talk about the five primary ones that we become more sensual. but something happens, though, when we eliminate certain senses, or we just kind of temporarily put it on pause. So, like, brushing your teeth with the opposite hand would challenge some of your physical senses, closing your eyes,

Starting point is 00:28:53 balancing on one foot, brushing your teeth with the opposite hand, we'll do even more. That would be a broken arm for me. Right, right. So you want to be smart about this, okay? We're using common sense and we're being safe about this. But the idea here in aerobics is just like with aerobics or doing some work or you're maybe doing crossfit for your body. This is like a way of doing crossfit for your mind because especially in a world of AI where people are more and more are using it and they're using it to almost replace their own thinking.

Starting point is 00:29:23 They call it cognitive offloading. And so that creativity, you know, any muscle is going back to feeding. It's always what you feed, right? If you're not exercising and feeding, your thinking, your decision making skills. your creativity and you're asking AI to remove all the friction and do it for you. It's like going to the gym and asking a friend to lift the weights for you, then you never get the benefit of doing the work. It's a good analogy.

Starting point is 00:29:48 Aerobics is like life. It's based on what challenges you will change you. So like with technology, like let's even back up before AI, like if you take an elevator to go to your apartment, it's a form of technology, but then you don't get your steps in, right? You don't take the stairs. And so I feel like there's like a little bit of a balance here. And aerobics is a wonderful way of challenging yourself eating with the opposite hand

Starting point is 00:30:13 or showering with your eyes closed if you're safe, you know, about it. But you're challenging yourself consistently or you're driving and you try to memorize a license plate, right? Not that you need to remember a license plate, but you keep your ability. Because isn't it interesting, Eric, that what you feed grows, right? Like that's the whole parable. It's and it lives and it flourishes. What you nourish flourishes. right, that your beliefs and your thoughts.

Starting point is 00:30:37 But isn't it interesting that if you want strength, you have to use your strength, right? Lift those weights. You have to do that resistance training. If you want energy, you have to use your energy. Like if you want energy and you're sitting on the couch, binge watching stuff, you're not going to have more energy, right? If you want focus, you have to use your focus.

Starting point is 00:30:55 You want better memory. You have to use your memory, you know. And so, neurobics is in that entry on May 25th on your birthday is all about just challenging yourself that day, you know, and I feel like there's opportunities to do that and not to take the easy, convenient thing. Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion.

Starting point is 00:31:42 Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-SA to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you. you think. Eight years ago, I was completely overwhelmed. My life was full with good things, a challenging

Starting point is 00:32:07 career, two teenage boys, a growing podcast, and a mother who needed care. But I had a persistent feeling of, I can't keep doing this. But I valued everything I was doing and I wasn't willing to let any of them go. And the advice to do less only made me more overwhelmed. That's when I stumbled into something I now call this still point method, a way of using small moments throughout my day to change not how much I had to do, but how I felt while I was doing it. And so I wanted to build something I wish I'd had eight years ago, so you don't have to stumble towards an answer. That something is now here, and it's called Overwhelm is Optional, Tools for When You Can't Do Less. It's an email course that fits into moments you already have, taking less than 10 minutes total a day.

Starting point is 00:32:56 It isn't about doing less. It's about relating differently to what you do. I think it's the most useful tool we've ever built. The launch price is $29. If life is too full but you still need relief from overwhelm, check out, overwhelm is optional. Go to one you feed.net slash overwhelm. That's one you feed.net slash overwhelm.

Starting point is 00:33:21 I love what you just said there because it's so obvious and yet, so poignant, which is that if you want these things, you have to use them. And that really is true. I often think about this, like, sometimes I'm traveling a lot for work right now. You're tired, right? Part of me is like, I just want to lay down and rest, which is good some of the time. I was sick recently. So I needed to do some laying down and resting. But then I was starting to, I was like, I'm tired? And I'm like, am I tired because I need to rest more? Or am I tired because I have not moved enough? Right? And figuring that out is sometimes challenging, but very often for me, it's this lethargy that comes over that needs to be sort of almost burnt out of me by movement. Yeah. I think the primary reason we have a brain is to control our movement, you know, and as our body moves, our brain grooves.

Starting point is 00:34:15 When you move your body, you're creating dopamine and serotonin, endorphins, all these great neurochemicals that will put you in a better mood. I don't know one person has worked out and said, oh, I wish I didn't work out. Never. Yeah. Like, it just doesn't happen. Yeah. I feel like that entry there was just a reminder for people. Like, sometimes they just need to hear something in a different way.

Starting point is 00:34:36 We'll validate it with a little science for it. But then maybe that'll get people to make a little different decisions. Because I think every morning you have a chance because you can make a new choice. And we could choose to do hard things, deliberate discomfort. And it's hard because we live in this comfort crisis for, where everything's optimized in the world around comfort. We have temperature control and lighting and water. We don't have to, and you have door dash.

Starting point is 00:35:02 You don't have to even leave your home. You don't have to see another human being for like days and weeks. But I feel like life is difficult for one or two reasons. You leave your comfort zone, life is difficult. But you stay in your comfort zone. I think life's going to be difficult also. Yeah, in a very different way. Let's talk a little bit about, as I look at your book,

Starting point is 00:35:20 it's in different sections. and we are about to exit one section. We are in the rise section, the season of power, July 1st through September 30th, which means we've only got a few days left. But one of the things you talk about being able to do over this period of time is learning to regulate your emotions. Talk to me a little bit about emotional regulation because it's really a very important point. Oftentimes the lack of ability to regulate our emotion is what causes the decisions

Starting point is 00:35:51 we make day to day about what we do to become very not optimized, not even not optimized, just not good sometimes. Yeah, that resonates for me. When I'm thinking about laying out the book, I didn't want to do like all January's motivation and all February's focus.

Starting point is 00:36:09 I just feel like after a few passages or definitely a week into it, the people are like, okay, I got this part. As you mentioned, I broke it down in the seasons. Metaphorically, it's like winter, spring, summer, and fall because we go through seasons of life, right? Seasons through your personal economics. We go through seasons of health. We go through seasons of relationships. So I organize it around that. I would say emotional

Starting point is 00:36:32 regulation is paramount because it's like things go from your head to your heart to your hands. Often you visualize things in your head, but you're not acting with your hands. I would check the heart, which is your emotional, the symbol of emotions. But you're right. If we're in a stress state, let's say like you're talking to a loved one, you're having a spirited debate. Most people think, like, what do I need to say? What do I need to do to either win or resolve this? But I think if we take a step back, it's like instead of asking what do I need to say or do in a conflict situation, well, which fill in your conflict, right, your challenge, financial, whatever.

Starting point is 00:37:09 And I would step back and say like, oh, maybe it's not what I need to say or do. Who do I need to be? Like if I choose to be loving this state regulation, right? or I choose to be compassionate, then the saying and the doing will probably take care of itself organically, right? We are emotional creatures, and we're social creatures.

Starting point is 00:37:30 When we're in an angry state, they always say, don't send it that text or that email when you're angry. Because when you're in that survival, fight or flight place, it holds you hostage almost away from your common sense, your executive functioning, your empathy, your compassion,

Starting point is 00:37:48 your ability to make good decisions when in that stress state. So I think having some kind of practice, some people use meditation with some kind of breath to regulate themselves. Other people would have some kind of mantra that they go to. Other people also will just kind of shift perspectives and just say, like, get curious. That's kind of where I go. If I'm being challenged or something, then instead of making a judgment or using a critic,

Starting point is 00:38:11 I would get curious and say, like, oh, what is this person like going through right now? You throw a pebble into a still water. you get a ripple effect, right? But you never get like a tsunami back and you never get under. It always gives you exactly proportionate to it. And I feel like in that situation,

Starting point is 00:38:28 getting curious will lead to a greater level of calm and self-control. Yeah. Do you have a morning routine that just stays the same, like every morning, year-round, whether you're traveling, not traveling? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:42 And I want to know yours, too. Like, it's changed over the years. So people watch old videos of me when I didn't have kids. I could spend, you know, an hour in a sauna and do that kind of stuff, which I can't really do now. Yeah. I'll give you a few things that might be useful. And I would say I wouldn't copy what I would do for those listening.

Starting point is 00:39:01 I would think about the principles of why I do it and then make it your own expression, your own art, your own symphony. I break my day in the three areas. All right. And I call them three Cs. In the morning, I always create in the afternoon I consume. and at nighttime I clear. So that's how I kind of segment my day. Is it always work out like that?

Starting point is 00:39:21 Obviously not. I could have meetings during the day. Like there's certain things, client things, and things I have to do for family. So it's never that way. But it keeps my energy high because I'm not task switching. Like, I'm task batching.

Starting point is 00:39:34 In order to do all my creative stuff, I don't have to switch off and take time to refocus on something that's not aligned with what I'm already doing. I also will make less mistakes if I stay in one kind of lane. And I'll have more energy because it takes a lot of energy to switch from creating to consuming. That's an example.

Starting point is 00:39:51 So what's the example of that? In the morning, I always write for as long as I can remember, Eric, I would write first thing in the morning because that's when I feel like I've got to get stuff out, things I dreamt about. Right after waking up. Yeah. It's always, it's always that sometime in the morning. And so in the morning, for those handful of hours, in the morning, I'm creating, I'm creating ideas for podcasts. I'm creating, I'm writing my next book. in the afternoon, then I consume.

Starting point is 00:40:16 I'll read guests, podcasts, books, I'll research, do a lot of research for my next book, I'll be consuming. And then in the evening, so if I'm creating, I'm pulling out on my mind, if I'm consuming, I'm pulling it in. At night, I just want to control, delete, right? And I want to clear so I could sleep.

Starting point is 00:40:34 So what I can clear? I talk to my wife, talk about my day. So I'm kind of venting and gate clearing. I could do some yoga nidra. I could write down in journal, what I want to do tomorrow because I don't think about it and ruminate about it at night. And so that's my way of focusing. Now, focusing back on the morning routine, I do have something that works really well.

Starting point is 00:40:54 It's actually why Limitless Daily was created. So I'll mention that also. But I mention I write every morning. And when my daughter was born, she's one and a half now. She was born early. And there was some issues. But when I was in the hospital, I was looking at my wife holding her and my two-year-old son at the time. And I mentioned I write every morning.

Starting point is 00:41:13 So I started to write, but instead of writing what I would normally write, like my goals or whatever it is, I started writing to my kids because I am in my 50s. And I was like, if I wasn't there 20 years from now when they're adults and they were going through a hard day, what would they need to hear from their father to help them go through a challenging day? And I started writing, you know, Eric, about like distraction and overwhelmed. But then also like fear of failure and fear of other people's opinions, their expectations, comparisons. and imposter syndrome, burnout. And, yeah, it's emotional for me because I wrote it for them because it's just like what I feed my kids. Everything has to be the highest standard.

Starting point is 00:41:53 And so that's what I embodied into this book. I didn't even know it was going to be a book until I started sharing these notes with friends. And one of them was going through stage four cancer. And so much of that is mental, you know, mindset, getting through hard times, like, you know, what you feel about that, you know, situation you're in, if it's happening to you or it's happening for you and so on.

Starting point is 00:42:13 And he started just getting a big lift in the first thing in the morning, having more hope because he had like a little help, you know, helping them through the day. And so I went back into the thing. I was like, this could be a book. And I started adding the science to it. You know, I'd turn to him as daily. Now, what do I do after I read that during the sleep inertia time? I'll give you four things.

Starting point is 00:42:33 That's free. And it doesn't take a lot of time, 10 minutes max. This is my morning routine. So after I do my reading now, because I read this every morning also as well, well and have my prayers and, you know, talk to my family. Then I go outside. And throughout history, like ancient times, people thought that everything was made up of four elements, fire, earth, water, and air. My thought was I just want to get those four things into my body. So I go outside, barefoot, touch the ground, you know, grounded, right? There's an electron transfer and there's some

Starting point is 00:43:05 science behind it, but so that's Earth. And then I get the sunlight through your eyes, which help you sleep better that night for sure. I reset your circadian rhythm, but the sun for me is fire. So I have grab earth and I have fire. I drink some water. We can lose up to a pound of water when we sleep through urination, perspiration, respiration, and just staying hydrated, kabush reaction time. You're thinking is beat up towards 30%. So I have some structure of water with some electrolytes. So that's water. So I have earth, fire, water. And then I do some breathing exercise to clear out the, that night's like mental cobwebs. And I'm, and I'm just, you know, I'm good to go. And then when I travel, I can do it too, which is great. I don't have to carry

Starting point is 00:43:45 like a big red bed or what, you know, all these biohacking stuff along with me. It's just, that's all I need. You know, I can just go outside and do this anywhere. I think that's great. Right now, what I do is, like, the first thing, I just head right out the door and I just take like a 10-minute walk. There's just a little loop near where I live right out the door, a 10-minute walk. Sometimes I'll listen to music while I'm walking. Sometimes I won't. Sometimes I'll listen to something inspirational. just whatever I kind of feel like. And then I make coffee. And then mostly what I've been doing lately is I play guitar for a while.

Starting point is 00:44:18 I've just been loving, sitting on my patio, on my porch, just outside, playing guitar, first thing for a while. And then I will read something that is spiritual. Usually, for me, it's usually a Zen book. And then I'll meditate for, you know, 15, 20 minutes. and then I eat, and then ideally I exercise, and then start my day. So that's the normal sort of pattern. I also, in there, I will give myself a little bit of time, like we're moving to Atlanta later in about a month.

Starting point is 00:44:55 And so I'll read like an Atlanta newsletter in the morning just to kind of learn a little bit about like what's happening in Atlanta. So I'm not like super strict about like no media at all, but I really stay away from much of it, you know, news. If I am going to do something on my phone, I try and be very selective about what that is. And I try not to check my email at any point during there. And some mostly I succeed, but often I don't.

Starting point is 00:45:27 I can't help it. It just sort of happens. But I try and make it minimal and not be perfectionistic about it. But that's what I've been doing these days. I think that's great because it's just like self-compassion is so very important. Right. Like I've never seen shame create any kind of lasting happiness or transformation. Kindness is so very important. I think self-care is not just having a green juice or getting a massage. It's looking at the mirror and loving that reflection that's looking back that's been through so much, but it's still standing, right?

Starting point is 00:45:58 But I think compassion gives us safety to grow, space to grow. Because it's not perfect. It's progress. It's just like diet, right? It's not like you eat perfect all the time. Because I know some people are so stressed out about eating everything perfect and pristine that I think it negates any happiness or health benefits because of that. So I think in having the flexibility of being able to do guitar, do some work out, sometimes you do it, sometimes you don't, be able to do this, then it's, again, it's going towards the harmony and the notes we want to play that day. Yeah. I mean, I really try and do that sort of 80 to 9.

Starting point is 00:46:37 90% sort of thing. If I can do that and maintain it over time, that 10% really doesn't matter that much, right? I've said differently for me, fixating on that 10% will cause more harm than it does good. I'm getting so much of the benefit if I'm doing it 80, 90% of the time. That little bit in there just makes life more enjoyable. I mean, I don't want to be stressed all the time about like, am I doing all the right things? every day, all that you. Like that's, you know, but it's easy to get that way. It's easy to get that way, but it's not really, it's not, it doesn't ultimately serve the greater purpose, which is to feel like

Starting point is 00:47:19 I'm living a life that's meaningful and feels good. Yeah, I feel like everybody has a different kind of art and everybody has a different taste for what they like to eat or listen to or anything. And there's a grace that comes from knowing that we live our life, you know, as long as we're not, you know, hurting other humans and breaking laws or what have you. then I feel like we live our lessons we teach. And I get to work with a lot of seniors and helping to polish off their memories. But also I learn a lot of wisdom because they have so much experience and life experience. But I also hear a lot of regret.

Starting point is 00:47:54 Yeah. Like at that stage where people say something to like, maybe they didn't pursue a relationship because of what other people would think or maybe they chose a career path because their parents expected them to or something like that, right? And it's just a clear reminder of what you're saying is that, you know, we have this one life here. And it's just like, you know, when we're taking our final breaths, other people's opinions and other expectations are going to matter. You know, what's going to matter with the things that matter? How we loved, how we laughed, how we learned, how we lived, right?

Starting point is 00:48:25 So I just feel like the most important thing is keep the most important things, the most important things. So easy to say and so challenging to do that. Yeah. But it's a nice filter. Even for this. When I had an opportunity to reconnect with you, you know, and, you know, or have you on, you know, talk about your book on our show. It's just for me, life, maybe it's because of the phase of life I am with kids now

Starting point is 00:48:49 or maybe because I'm like, you know, 35 years of my career. For me, and this is not always, but how I make my choices now, I have this filter system. I say, if it doesn't help me grow, glow, or flow, I say no. You know, and it's not, I can't do that for everything, right? And like, oh, do I want to pay my taxes and go to do all this paperwork or whatever? But for the most part, like here, like I want to be here because, you know, because I feel like helps me grow and helps me glow, helps me flow more.

Starting point is 00:49:20 Then I say, yes. No, can we always do that? No, of course none. But I think sometimes there's an entry in limitless daily. It talks about burnout. And I reframe it just like I can do about balance. And I say sometimes we're burnt out, not because we're doing too much. sometimes we're burnt out because we're doing too little the things that are lighting us up,

Starting point is 00:49:38 you know, flat out and things that make us come alive. And it's just like these little reminders that people have a conversation by reading this book, do some introspection, have some intention throughout their day, you know. Yeah. And I think ultimately what you just said there is the big piece of it. And I think this is where the book can be really valuable is about just remembering to be intentional about what we do. with our lives because life just rolls right on by it has a momentum of its own and the only thing that we can do is just a little bit at a time redirect and be intentional about what we do and what we

Starting point is 00:50:18 think about and this book is an excellent way to do that and so as always it's a pleasure to talk with you jim i always enjoy it so thank you so much for coming on thank you eric can i tell people where to get the book please yes yeah we made a special site where we added some special gifts. And it's at limitlessdaily.com. Really easy to remember, limitlessdaily.com. And it's a one-year journey.

Starting point is 00:50:42 It's not something you read and put it on your shelf. It's something you have into your nightstand and just five-minute conversation with yourself first thing in the morning to kind of set the tone and the tempo of your orchestra for that day. And I want to thank you, Eric, also, for the work that you do. I mean, these are important conversations, the reminders that people need.

Starting point is 00:51:03 Because ultimately, I feel like how do we become limitless in a limited world? We have to do it together, right? I think it's just purpose and connection, you know. And it's something that I can appreciate the nature of the work and a reminder to everybody to feed and nourish the things you want, not the thing you don't. Beautiful. Well, thank you, Jim. And we'll have links in the show notes to all of where people can get the book and everything else.

Starting point is 00:51:29 Thank you so much for listening to the show. If you found this conversation helpful, inspiring, or thought-provoking, I'd love for you to share it with a friend. Sharing from one person to another is the lifeblood of what we do. We don't have a big budget, and I'm certainly not a celebrity, but we have something even better, and that's you. Just hit the share button on your podcast app or send a quick text with the episode link to someone who might enjoy it. Your support means the world, and together we can spread wisdom one episode at a time. you for being part of the One You Feed community.

The One You Feed - You Become What You Practice: How to Train Your Mind for the Life You Want | Jim Kwik

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