The Overshare with Gemma Atkinson - FIRST DATES: He Was Lathered in Baby Oil!

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

These aren’t just bad first dates these are horrific moments in anyone’s life! Forget bad manners and poor punctuality we’re talking impromptu nakedness and bringing out the baby oil! There's high shock factor in this Overshare.

Hello, it's Gemma Atkinson and welcome to The Overshare, the podcast that goes much deeper than simply scratching the surface. Right, now listen, what you're about to hear in this episode will stun you. Believe you me, you are in for a treat, right? We're calling this one, When Your date was your last date and these aren't just first dates gone wrong right these are the most horrific dating disasters you will ever hear they actually make my group whatsapp look tame which is saying summer now i really must warn you from very early on there's some very adult content in this so please please bear that

in mind don't listen to it in the car if you've got the little ones this is definitely one to enjoy in private right coming up on this episode and i noticed that he changed his whatsapp profile picture to a photo of him and his girlfriend he told her he was in florida with his mates and he was in the bahamas with me and there was a the men's loo and the women's loo and the far exit. And I went through the far exit. And as I turned to pull my seatbelt round, he is in my passenger seat, but he's got his pants down and his penis is erect. So I asked for your stories and you definitely delivered.

We asked for the shocking and we got the shocking. We got the shockiest. I can't even, there's no word for how shocking some of these stories are. You're going to love them. I also thought it'd be useful to get some expert advice in the field today. So that way I can just sit here and be gobsmacked and leave all the professional stuff to them. So I've roped in Abby Blairs, who's a professional dating coach. We've got producer Matt here as well. And Matt has kept all the details of these stories secret from me, which I'm kind of worried about because I'm going to find out as you do. So we'll all be shocked at the same time, at least. Steph, hello. Welcome to The Overshare. What's your story? So, my story is on my first date, I was on a first date and we went out for a lovely meal,

absolutely fantastic, and he said, I'm looking after a friend's house, why don't you come back to it? So I went back, opened the wine, had a few drinks and it was going really well. We had a few cheeky kisses and you know how it goes. And he said, I'm just popping up. I'm just popping upstairs and I'll be down in a minute. And I was like a deer and crunching around upstairs. Oh God! And then all of a sudden, he just reappears like quite later on, but I'm quite drunk at this stage. He's stark naked and he's dripping in baby oil.

Oh, my God! And he had the baby oil in his hand. Oh, his poor friend in his friend's house. No wonder he's at his friend's house. Imagine it was his. You don't want the clean-up, does he? How did you react? How did I react? Just like like i am now i burst out laughing

for starters he had a stonker on as well he absolutely had a boner on so i had a good look at that and then uh just just that's see that for me would i would be saying what has happened to get that boner up there what have you done in done in between then and now? Have you watched something? Why have you got a boner coming down the stairs like that? Because he was obviously coming down to me. Very presumptuous, isn't it? For a first date. Very, very, very presumptuous.

I did, I laughed a bit and then I sort of was like, this is no, no. I thought you were going to say, I laughed a bit, then I slept with him anyway. I imagine, Abby, for some people, that's quite frightening, isn't it? Definitely.

In a house you don't know, you've not been before. Yeah, like we laugh now because you're absolutely fine, but it could have gone a totally different route, couldn't it? And I think it is

quite triggering for a lot of people. But yeah, I mean, I suppose if you'd want advice on it, it would be, don't go back to people's houses. We need to be a bit more classy, Steph, because I'd have gone back as well. I mean, to be fair, no judgment from me. It's definitely happened to me before.

Not that scenario, but the going back too soon. You know, we've all made those little mistakes. Wow. It was so nice. He'd even rocked up with a CD. So the day was great. What CD was it? We're talking quite a... I daren't say the CD in case he ever listens to this and he knows it's going to be him.

Oh my God. And did you have any contact after that? Well, I was out in a pub with the girls because obviously I did inform my circle of friends what had happened. Yeah. But we were out in a pub. I'd gone to the toilet and I'd come out of the toilet. And as I was drying my hands, I felt somebody put the hands either side of the wall to me and I just turned around and it was him.

And I was like, what the fuck's he saying? You should just at least be dressed now. What a bizarre thing to do. And the fact that after doing that that he was so okay with it like you'd think he'd go into hiding almost the fact that he tried that and it hadn't worked i mean it'd be interesting to find out what if that was his thing like if he's done it a few times and it's worked you know what i mean he must have had a bit of confidence about him to think i did this last time i'm gonna do it again unfortunately, some people do get off on the reaction

of shock from another person, right? Some people are dark like that. Yeah, so he might have enjoyed the discomfort. Have you seen him since? Yeah, he's someone local, yeah. See, that's what I find bizarre, because I've dated lads in the past. One guy on and off, he was a complete narcissist. He was awful.

And he knew that I told people about his behaviour, but he was still so blazing in that he didn't care. And I thought, how could you not be upset or ashamed that people know what you've done to me? Do you know what I mean? Is that like a behaviour issue? That's quite a strong narcissistic trait to not actually care like in the way that you and I have feelings of like shame around things

narcissists wouldn't so if you were dealing with a narcissist he genuinely wouldn't care and it can be difficult I think for us to understand that because we tend to think how I think is how all other people think and then it can be quite shocking when you discover that actually that's not the case. Thank you so much for your overshare. It's enlightening. You're welcome. Yeah, you've set the bar high. So I'm intrigued to find out who's next.

Thank you for joining us, Steph. Oh, thank you. Bye. Thank you for joining us, Hadley you can you see and hear us okay yes i can see you and i can hear you fab brilliant you're the only other hadley i know my nephew's hadley really yeah he was he was headley for the first month of his life and then my sister said headley was a bit posh so she changed it to hadley it's's a lovely name now. I've never met another Hadley. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. Tell us what your story is. My story, where do I start? I've been single for around two years now. I was in quite an intense six or seven month relationship in the pandemic. I did meet my boyfriend on a dating app. I assumed it was going to be reasonably smooth sailing, but I've sort of found the opposite. Some of my friends

have advised me to do something called the three man rule. What it means is that you're dating three men in the early stages at any one time just so that you're not getting too fixated. I had a successful first date a couple of weeks ago so I said yes to another date. We met for a drink in a pub but from the moment I got there he was just acting really erratic and strange. He kept saying that he needed to go to the toilet, but I would see him outside vaping and talking on his phone. When I asked him why he kept going outside, he said it was because he was talking to one of his mates. And I was like, oh, okay. I didn't know it was the done thing to go outside and chat to your mates when you're on a first date but all right then um he went to the bar

to get us another drink and I saw him arguing with the bar staff he just wasn't happy with his pint he wanted them to change it and at this point I'm thinking this person is not the future father of my children he's actually quite aggressive um so he came back to the table and he plonked the drinks down and he said if you want another drink I I'm not staying here. It's shit. Oh, bearing in mind that he had asked me to choose a pub in a very specific area of London. So he went outside again. He came back in. I just kept trying and trying to have a conversation and all of a sudden he finished his pint stopped me in my tracks and said Hadley got to be honest with you I am not feeling anything don't want to waste my money don't want to waste your time so I'm gonna go oh my god that's awful savage what what Awful. Savage. What did you, how did you react? Did you say, all right, off you pop? Or what happened?

When things like that happen to you in life, it almost feels like it's happening in slow motion. I think if I had have been not totally floored by it, I would have said, okay, that's fine because you are vile. And I cannot believe I've suffered two drinks with you. Good luck. Instead, I sort of sat there and just went, okay. And he then thought it was okay to invade my space and to pull me into a really tight hug and to kiss me twice on the cheek and I remember just like his like hot slobbery breath and just thinking why have I dressed up and come out and done this what I find baffling with that on his side it's just lack of empathy lack of being

a decent person because we've all been on dates where you know you get a vibe don't you pretty much straight away but you don't say it then and there i think you go through with the date have a polite evening and then when the second one gets mentioned you say i'd be really honest i didn't really feel it so i'm and then that way you think okay i mean what how would you describe that behavior abby for him to be so maybe it was the beer kicking in i don't know maybe he was doing more than just vaping outside i mean who knows um but that's really rude isn't it i think he was yeah it's completely rude and i think massive bullet dodged and also i think you know like you could leave that situation and think oh i've just been rejected by somebody but i think rejection is quite a good thing because it's like

a filtering it's like i filtered you out also just going back to the the men that you have like having a few options at the start I think that if you're a bit of an anxious dater it's a really really good advice to have a few people not like once you're in the point where you're sleeping with people not dating you know once you're committed to somebody that's different but when you're at the first date stage talking to a few people can be quite good because when these things do happen it's not ruined your entire day you moved on from it and you seem okay about it now how do you feel about it now I think it makes a great story which is the one positive but I have also been stood up for the first time in my life in the last six weeks and that's never happened to me and that has been a bit damaging to my self-esteem and my sort of

confidence in the dating process so it was a man who was messaging me quite incessantly to meet him for a drink. So we agreed to meet in my local pub. He was messaging me up until I think it was an hour before the two of us were supposed to meet. And then as time kept ticking away, I just had this feeling and I was like he hasn't left the house so I whatsapped him to check I was left on read I called him as well and he didn't pick up and at this point I'm thinking I've just got dressed up I'm not walking up to the pub to be stood up and my instincts were spot on I just never heard from him again until completely by coincidence I was scrolling through my whatsapp chats a couple of weeks later and I noticed that he changed his whatsapp profile picture to a photo of him and his girlfriend. The thing with

WhatsApp though and stuff like that that's how my one of my exes was caught out cheating on me and it's the same guy I spoke to Abby about about this narcissist I dated we went on holiday to the Bahamas and I took a picture of a sunset and it was so nice I put it on my Instagram page he loved it and said oh can I put that picture can you send it me he put that same picture as his whatsapp profile picture the week after I thought nothing of it and then I got a dm from this lovely girl um asking me woman to woman you know are you with such a body because you've put a picture on Instagram I follow you on Instagram, and my boyfriend's got the exact picture

as his WhatsApp profile. And it turned out he told her he was in Florida with his mates, and he was in the Bahamas with me. And that's what caught you. I was thinking, you're so stupid. Like, if you're dating multiple people, not even dating, if you're in relationships with multiple people

you've at least got to have a bit of intelligence and remember your lies and not trip yourself up but I guess that if someone's selfish enough to do that they're also stupid enough to make mistakes do you mean definitely people often get caught out don't they yeah especially when it comes to social media I mean because you can you can vet someone literally are you single yeah okay I'll look at your profile and you go down and a month earlier they were with the love of their life take me back you know all that stuff um so yeah but I'm glad you're feeling a little bit better now though Hadley and I guess like Abby said I always think every rejection is a redirection that's how I I view it and the fact that your gut instinct told you

he wasn't there, that's good. That's good intuition. Something I'm finding with a lot of dating apps is it's men flattering their egos a lot. Yeah, they like knowing that they're desirable to other women as well as the partner at home. It's like you're in this situation where you think that someone's single, but in reality, they sort of want that validation. They are still desirable and they're in a relationship. You've touched on something there because that is true. Why is it that some people, some women as well, but I think mostly some guys, they do want the cake and to eat it as well. Why do they not grow out of it? Why does that happen? I think for some men and women, it's about variety. And it's not even necessarily that they're not even happy in their relationships. So studies show that women tend to cheat more if they want to upgrade their their partner which probably doesn't sound great no but

men might cheat just because they can haven't got control of like an urge at that time or they just want to get away with something or they it's the variety thing so it's that sexual variety which when you're in like say a long-term relationship that you know you could get a little bit bored and then you want to bring something in instead of turning towards your partner you might turn away which of course is not the right strategy no but it's kind of like I guess I think as well for for guys and for men and women the difference is I've got male mates who can just be sleeping with people and not get attached it's just that's what it is whereas my one of my girlfriends who's been single for a long time as soon as she's intimate with someone she's she's like not in love with them but it

means a lot more to her and it's harder for her to be intimate with someone without then craving oh I wonder if he's thinking of me I want he's not messaged me back he's not this and he's not that and it sends her into a spiral of kind of like self-loathing that this guy isn't he's slept with her but yet he's not responding to her text he's not calling her whereas my lad mates are like i mean you're gonna see her again oh maybe might do not bothered and it's like they can just cut it off can't they whereas we we can't i don't think that's a very interesting point because we all form romantic attachments slightly differently some people don't get close to other people that easily and some people get attached very very quickly so

your friend for example sounds like somebody who might attach with people very very quickly and get quite anxious she might also be attracted to men the bad boys do that. Yeah, she is. Because the dynamic works. So people who are more avoidant of relationships tend to be attracted to people who are anxious and vice versa. Whereas what we want to be doing is we want to be looking for someone who's secure. So someone who shows up, is reliable.

And sometimes the ones that are like in and out and all over the place and blowing hot and cold they can seem like really fun options and it can feel like spark but it can actually be quite unhealthy yeah it's kind of fun at the start but you won't want to like you like hadley said have a family with and you need someone who's reliable and you know securing themselves because i guess you mirror each other's energy imagine having a baby with someone who keeps you on your toes oh well Hadley thank you so much for um for sharing your story and yeah sorry you've had those experiences but hopefully from here on you know onwards and upwards and you sound like you're very very smart young woman anyway so definitely I'm sure you'll

uh you'll get Mr Right one day I'm sure sure. Thank you. Well, fingers crossed. Maybe you should up the rule of six. Maybe do that. You have too much choice. You have too much choice. You don't want too much choice. That sounds like a lot of admin, so maybe not. So I said I'd give you the details of how you can get in touch and if you ever want to get in touch with the overshare you can you can whatsapp us whenever you want on 07761039898 that's 07761039898 and amongst all of these wronged women there were were some guys as well. Adam Rayton, he texts us. He says, Gemma, I once turned up on a date with a girl whose dad sat on the table behind us. He said, it would have been fine if we were 12, but I was 36. And at one point, she went to the loo and he came over, crouched down beside me and said just so you know I will always be here

so Abby that's that's too overprotective isn't it that's insane that is um intense isn't it it's interesting because it's like it says a lot about her and the dynamic between her and her father and I often have clients come to me and they are dating to the criteria of other people, so members of their family. And I think it's really important to trust your own opinions and date to your own criteria so that a woman like that, she could have been, you know, overpowered by her father. His opinion's more important than her own.

And that's quite sad, really. And I'm sorry for the guy. It must have been so uncomfortable. It must have been awful. And I guess as well, it's kind of, you kind of mirror your parents in a way my mum and dad divorced when I was 10 so I've always been brought up on if you're not happy in a situation

get out of it and they remain friends I mean my dad passed away when I was 17 so and my mum was devastating she came to the funeral of course and they remain friends but she just said we weren't right as a couple anymore once you and your sister grew up

we realised that common thing we had no longer relied on us to be together but I've also got friends whose mum and dad have been together 40 odd years so they are adamant they want to stay I can't get divorced because you know I want to be like my parents for better for worse I'm staying in this even though they're so unhappy cripplingly unhappy but the fear of leaving someone because their parents and grandparents you know stuck it out it's that expectation

it's tough Rob's also been on Rob Drummond and he said Gemma I had a first date with a girl who before the starter had taken her shoes off she kicked them off under the table

I thought nothing of it but by the time the main course came out she started to rub her foot up and down my leg he says i'd never been put off food so much in my life what reaction do you give to that kind of behavior it all seemed too intense especially for date one it's a bit odd isn't it yeah it is odd and usually you hear stories of like the reverse really you hear a lot of tales of men being like that with women. Because most guys would have loved that, I guess, being rubbed up on the first date.

I mean, maybe. Who knows? I guess it's individual. But it's a bit of a boundary push, isn't it? Yeah. You know, he said, like, how do you even react to that? And I'd say in that spot, when someone takes things a little bit faster than you want to,

sometimes we freeze, sometimes we, you know, we want to get away. But what you can do if you don't want it to get too serious is just lightly say something like, oh, this is more of like a third date kind of behaviour for me. Yeah, make a joke out of it. And just say it in a light way and say, so if we get there, then we can move on to this type of stuff. And you can also say like, I'm really attracted to you

so you don't like invalidate the other person or offend them. And then you say, you know, this is more of a third date kind of thing for me. And then hopefully they respect that boundary. And what's this, I'm just curious, because I've, I've, i'll throw my hands up i i've been on dates before where we've been intimate the first night but i've known them in advance i've never i've never just met someone randomly someone who i've either worked with or been mates with and we've took it to that step gawker is genuinely i it was a long time before me and gawker got intimate and i don't know if

that's the reason it's lasted is there a rule of thumb where you will say to them, do not sleep with them on the first night? Because I guess for girls, again, it's weird. Because I've got loads of lad mates, they say, oh, she slept with me on the first night, she's a proper slag. And I'm like, well, no, she might just like you. And yeah, exactly, and you also slept with her.

But I think for guys to sleep with someone straight away it's brushed under the carpet it don't matter but then long term down the line well I don't trust her anyway I slept with her on the first night why would I trust her why is it okay for some but not others I don't I've never understood that I don't really understand it either and I don't agree with that and it annoys me because it's like one rule for one. One for the other, yeah. And one for the other. And I don't like that sort of stuff. In terms of like advice that I would give,

I also don't like telling people, don't do this, do do that. You know, like really rigid rules around dating. You should go with how you feel. Yeah. Don't you? With the guy, with the person, whatever. The longer you wait, the less risky it is, right?

But even if you wait there is still a risk there's always a little bit of a risk that you're going to get hurt in some way so what you want to do is you want to difficult when you're in the moment on a day a little bit drunk but you really want to before you have sex with somebody to safeguard yourself think about your motivation for why you're doing it think about whether that's a motivation that you're comfortable with and whether it feels right for you. And if it feels right and you're happy with your motivation and it's protected, then I think it's actually okay.

If that's what you want. If that's what you want and feel like doing. And it also depends on the goal. Your goal might not be to get into a long-term relationship. Let's not assume that all women want to get into long-term relationships and men don't. You know, it depends on what your agenda is. But there is obviously more of a chance that someone's going to not be emotionally connected. Once you've done that on the first date.

Yeah, if you've done it on the first date. So it's really, like, probably wiser to build an emotional connection first and then sleep together we used to me and my mates again it's rank sorry we used to say don't shave your legs or your fanny because then you definitely won't sleep with them straight away i think that's a good tip and then on date two maybe have a little preen so then it's it's okay if it happens that's just my advice and why I'm not the professional. No, but I've definitely had situations where I've been like,

oh, why did I sleep with him? And, you know, I regretted it. And then I reflect and I'm like, yeah, but you did shave your legs. You know, you prepped for that. You're acting like, oh, it just happened. It's like, didn't just happen, you were prepped. Stop lying to yourself.

Brilliant. Well, thank you for getting involved with this, Natalie. We'll go straight in. I don't know your story. Producer Matt's not told me. So I'll find out as our listeners do. I have a book of first date stories, Gemma. But I think the one that we were going to mention today was a lad here that it was a first date with a professional person so no alarm bells ringing at this point um we went to Wagamama's met at Wagamama's met this guy sat down with him and had spoken a little bit to him before we met we're looking at our menus and he says to me would I first of all would I like to share a main course red flag straight away no no so we got past that hurdle and then we were talking and in Wagamama's everybody is with you aren't you like on these on the benches yeah people can hear what you say and you

know and we're having this conversation and then he i can't remember the name he used but he began talking about an ex and he mentioned a name that was quite obviously male so let's call him Bernard he spoke about going on holiday with his ex Bernard so again in my head I'm like wait what who and yeah my my ex like Bernard so I said is Bernard a man and he said yeah he said I've never dated a female before, but things haven't worked out. So I've decided to give women a chance. So, again, second red flag, like I'm some kind of project here, you know. Yeah, like an experiment. Don't want to be a project.

So we were chatting and I knew while we were eating, this is not going anywhere. I do not want a second date with this man. So at the end of our food, he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else. And I said, no, I am. I'm going. I'm going to get in my car and I'm going home. Lovely to meet you. And he said, well, if we go in, can you take me back to work to pick his car up? And I said, yeah, yeah, absolutely. No problem whatsoever. So we walked from Wagamama to the car park,

pressed the button on the car. He gets in the passenger side. I get in the driver's seat. And as I turn to pull my seatbelt around and clip my seatbelt into the seatbelt clasp. He is in my passenger seat, but he's got his pants down, and his penis is erect in the passenger seat. I am obviously horrified.

What are you doing screaming, like, get out of my car and he begins screaming back at me all i want you to do is mark it out of 10 what would you mark it as what was it marked minus 10 i mean what is it with these with men getting erections so quick why has he got an erection so quickly walking from Wagamamas

no what is it he's seen or thought of that's made him I've had me ramen noodles and I'm gonna get hard do you know what I mean

what oh my so did he get out did he get out of your car yeah he got out of the car did he put it away first yeah I think so. Yeah.

I was in shock afterwards. I bet you got to crap yourself. So he first of all wanted to share food. Then he confessed to you he was obviously bisexual, to be dating men and women. And then within minutes of getting in your car, he's cocky in hand asking you for marks. What is wrong with that man?

Why? What's? Oh oh my gosh and what did you tell people about it did you tell the police because that's essentially flashing isn't it that's really bad i mean i was i was young and quite naive at the time so i didn't tell the police i told my friends it went down in history and still is amongst my friendship group. And we still laugh about that. But yeah, I suppose in hindsight, it was quite serious, wasn't it? For some people, that would be like deeply traumatising. I mean, you look like you're, you know, you've said you laugh about it with your friends and like you're OK with it.

But ultimately, like it is one of those situations where it's like you have to contact the police as a mum now if my daughter came to me and told me this story oh you'd go mad you know you you had a lucky escape literally so to speak i guess for everyone it's not it's not a happy outcome like that so thank you for oversharing i mean wow i i'm totally taken aback by that i don't know what i would have done i don't you'd be a mixture of utter fear and then confusion and then when like you say you laugh about it now and think what the hell was was that about have you been to wagamama since or can you not go i'm a face on topo now hey Cassandra what's your story um I so my story is about probably a slightly dishonorable thing

I might have done maybe oh I like it already um so it's about 10 years ago now and I went on a particular date with a particular guy that I'd met online and um yeah I kind of should have been a bit suspicious before we met because he he communicated with me in a slightly odd way he would only sort of communicate with me via voicemail so he'd send me a voicemail this is for the day of voice notes send me a voicemail and then he wouldn't pick up the phone if I rang him back I'd have to respond in a voicemail it was all very odd but anyway isn't it I got to the date and everything and then um he had very strong views about certain things one of which was apparently he was quite a hit with the ladies which you wouldn't have thought to look at him in the nicest possible way

um but he had dates with various women both European and British apparently and his view was that the British women um weren't grateful enough for his view. European women are much more grateful to have a man that wants to be with them. So therefore, he generally goes for the European women. So as you can imagine, it wasn't really my cup of tea. So I went to the loo and there was the men's loo and the women's loo and the far exit. And I went through the fire exit. So you just left, left the fire exit.

What a weird thing to talk about on a first date. Very strange. The comparison of women is one thing, but I always think it's a red flag. I've been on, I was in a relationship with, I was only 17. And he used to tell me, genuinely, he told me he'd slept with 123 women, genuinely.

And he was older than me, he was about seven years older than me. I mean, we met in Magaluf, so that should have been the red flag. But he used to constantly

remind me, through our relationship, I have slept with 120 odd women, Gemma, and you know, and at the time, I used to feel a bit, not upset,

but a bit kind of like oh my gosh because I was only 17 I'd like it was all new to me then but I think it's their way of because he's not set with 120 odd women

my god do you know what I mean I think men lie about the amount of women they've slept with and women lie because we bring it down and they bring it up

Gorka thinks he's number two that's it um and he's like way into the uh 20s um but yeah well why why do they do that why do they think that listing exes and bigging up exes will make us want them more to be honest with you i don't know why someone would think that that would make you want them more in terms of the numbers thing i think it's because they think that it makes them look like a man right it makes them seem masculine that they know what they're doing but actually men have fewer options than women do oh really women if you think about it how many how many guys would have asked you out versus how many women have actually asked men out so men are not having as

much sex as women are and women have more prerequisites before they'll sleep with somebody. So we've got more criteria than men do, as men tend to be more chilled about it. And as for that guy with his, you know, views on women and British women versus European women and all that sort of stuff, it's a good example of someone who's got an unusual belief, I guess, or a fixed belief on something. And I feel like people who are really fixed on their opinions are going to be harder to date. So you want someone who's a bit more flexible. Like offering that on a first date is strange. But ultimately, you know, it's like you're putting the other person down to, I guess, elevate yourself.

Yeah. And it's kind of like you're putting everyone in the same basket it's kind of like saying well guys in Manchester are better than guys in London yeah it can't be it can't be true to the person yeah and since your your date disaster where you went through the fire is it just fire exits or have you since like looked through windows or you know do you look for an escape route is that the first you're like the FBI they have to sit facing the door don't they, in any place? Is that on your mind if you go on dates now? Yeah, yeah.

How you can get out? I must admit, I mean, I'm not trying online dating. I don't think it's for me this time around. But it's that sickness you used to feel when you go on that first date. You've met someone and they walk in the door and you think, oh, my God, I don't like you. And it's like, yeah, that fight or flight does kick in. But, no, I don't generally have a habit of jumping out of windows

or anything like that. I think the key is to always keep a first date quite short. So, you know, you say in advance, I'll meet you for a quick drink. Yes. Quick drink. Quick drink. No meal, just a quick coffee. And then maybe you have to leap out of any fire exits.

I won't be doing that again. Oh, brilliant. Well, thank you so much for oversharing, Cassandra. It's been lovely to speak to you. And yeah, good luck with everything. Thanks a lot. I did warn you, didn't I? Thank you so much for your stories.

The ones we didn't feature were just as shocking. So thank you so much for everyone who got in touch. We could have made an entire series just on this subject. Thank you for joining us as always. I hope it provided some escapism for you and probably made you feel a little bit better about your

dating life at the minute. If you've got any comments on this episode of The Overshare, you can get in touch via text or via WhatsApp on 07761 039898 or you can email us at theovershare at bowermedia.co.ukuk the overshare was produced by matt foyster for bower media so make sure you look us up subscribe and tell your friends all about us we will see you next time i just laughed and was like wow why just why would you do that? We've had such a nice night. You paid for dinner. You bought me a CD. Why? A CD? You got me a Tom Jones CD in a state. What makes you think I want that?

Crikey. It was actually the Bee Gees for whom the bell tolls. I love how at the start you were like, I'm not going to say it in case it identifies him. And then five minutes in, you're like, yeah, throw him under the bus. He'll probably love it, won't he? He'll love the fact that he's being talked about.