The Overshare with Gemma Atkinson - PARENTING MISHAPS: Piles at the Dentist and Baby Mixups

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

Calling all Parents and those who have ever been responsible for a child…! This one’s for you; to let you know we’re all in the same boat… we’re all winging it from waking up to bedtime and everyone in this episode will prove that, there are mishaps and mess ups a plenty.

Well, welcome back. If this is your first time with us, hello. And if you've stuck with us since episode one, hello again. Everyone's welcome to our Overshare. It's our safe haven away from the chaos of day to day. And it's a chance to share a slice of real life mayhem with like-minded people. And this episode is definitely going to do just that because this Overshare is for every parent and anyone who's ever been left in charge of a child. I guarantee however low you think your parenting standards are, by the end of this you'll hopefully feel a little bit better about yourself and definitely feel a bit sorry for the people you're about to hear from. This episode is when parenting goes wrong. Now you may be one of those parents who brags on

Facebook about how organized you are or you may be one of those parents who sees posts off those organized parents and just tuts at them and eye rolls because the truth is we're all the same. We're all just winging it aren't we? We're all waking up desperate to get back to bed, but knowing there's another day of utter chaos ahead with the kids, because that's what being a parent is. It's professional plate spinning. Coming up, we've got tales of parenting disasters, and hopefully along the way, a helping hand as well. Now, as a reminder, this isn't for young ears. We're talking about the kids, not to them. So coming up in this episode of The Overshare. I've ran up to the nearest passing car screaming, I need your phone,

I need your phone. And this baby starts crying and I'm like, my baby's never made that noise before. I've pulled back the hood of the push. It's not my baby. Oh my gosh. My child will never have sugar, will never have processed food. And then I remember as soon as she could eat, I remember like once driving in the car, she was screaming. I was like, just give her the chocolate buttons. So when I was like laughing about the fact that I handed him over to a stranger and then just wandered off, they were really horrified by that

and just saying, how could you have forgotten? And as ever, I'm joined by someone who can definitely help us make a little bit of sense of it all. This episode, it's Helen Stroudley, who I met and worked with last year on the Toddler Club for Children's BBC. Hello, Helen. Hello.

It's so nice to see you again. Thank you so much for inviting me. So for everyone who doesn't know what you do, tell us a bit about your job role. Well, over the last 20 years, I've worked with families, running groups from antenatal, babies, toddlers, young children. So my role is an early years consultant and I work mainly with a charity called People and they support families. And also I have had the privilege over the last five years

to work with BBC projects such as the Baby Club and the Toddler Club. And then more recently, I've been doing some work with Moonbug with Little Baby Bum and Cocomelon. Cocomelon, every parent now is going, oh, Cocomelon, it's a little bee, isn't it? As soon as that's on the telly, you think, okay, I've got at least 20 minutes of peace while coca melons on it's an absolute privilege working um doing the educational

side of the stuff yeah i also do training all around the country well you did training with me didn't you before we started filming we had we had like a good three hours didn't we on how to handle the toddlers and it kind of went all right and you're you're not just a mother you're a nana as well yeah so congratulations and how different has it been to being a parent very very different you get more sleep yeah you get the good stuff and get to hand them back it's absolutely amazing i really recommend it i've got a target i've got a delivery to you and I'm like shaking.

Oh, don't worry. We'll get through it quick for you, Beth. Don't worry. Thanks, Beth. Brilliant. So our first guest is Beth. Now, Beth, this is something I can relate to, right? Perhaps not the situation,

but definitely the pain of when parenting goes wrong. Tell us your story. What happened? So it was earlier this year around Easter time. My daughter's term time only and it was half term. I had to take her with me to the dentist and she'd been listening to me and her dad talking at home. It couldn't be graceful because I was massive.

I was like seven months pregnant with my son and I like flopped onto the dentist chair and she just said to my dentist who was really serious, please be careful with my son and I like flopped onto the dentist chair and she just said to my dentist who was really serious please be careful with my mummy a bottom hurts because of her piles oh no oh bless her and I honestly like I am really open so like I wasn't really bothered but what made me bothered was that the dentist just didn't say anything. She just didn't speak. Oh, no. So then it made it really awkward.

If she'd have gone, oh, never mind, or something, I'd just been like, ha, ha, ha. Broke the ice a bit. She didn't say anything. I was absolutely mortified. I told my husband, and he was like, do you know what, though? You share everything with everyone. I said, yeah, when I choose to.

Not when my three-year-old decides to. I was mortified, and normally I'm not. Normally I'm just dead open about everything, and I just think, what's the point in not being? But, yeah, so now every time I see my dentist, I'm like, everything's good in the hood. I remember when I was pregnant, whenever I had any examinations down there,

I used to always want to tell them, it doesn't normally look like that, and those piles aren't normally there. Do you know what I mean I used to always want to tell them, it doesn't normally look like that. And those piles aren't normally there. Do you know what I mean? You kind of want to correct them. But it makes you wonder. I mean, kids, they do listen to everything. Mia listens to things and it makes you wonder,

is that just a common trait with kids? They want to be involved. Yeah, and they've got amazing ears, haven't they? Yeah. And it's their timing. I think that's quite impressive isn't it yeah save it up until it's the real time and also the dentist chair when you've got your mouth open you can't sort of hide away really can you no it came from a place of concern though

like she said be careful yeah and how are you coping with two kids now it's a whirlwind but it's good and actually my little girl reminds me of Mia um they're very similar very strong women and I keep saying to myself we need strong women in the world we need strong women in the world because I'm like well I I was just asking Helen because you've got a little boy now you said as well yeah yeah well obviously the same as me and I was asking Helen the difference just explain to Beth what you said to me about that it could be the second child or the different. Because I was saying there's a massive difference

in boys and girls, but it could just be the second child. It's so difficult to know. All children are so different, aren't they? Different personalities, different characteristics. So it's just a case of, yeah, wait and see. Everyone says that we're like dead similar because we're blonde and we're northern. We've got sassy little girls

and then we've got these little boys both had piles yeah we both had piles and we've got we've got bilingual fellas as well where's yours from?

Wales that's not very Spanish is it? we're just the same thank you Beth for coming on and oversharing that's fab

and I'm glad that you're raising a little sass pot. Fantastic. I washed my hair just for this. Mine's still wet from washing it this morning. I haven't even dried mine. Our next guest is the lovely Helen.

Now, Helen, your tale, whilst it does end well, it had a horrifying storyline, I believe. What happened? So first time mum with her. I mean, she was one at the time, but everything panics you. So she had a temperate high temperature. She was born with a hole in her heart. So from the go, I was always panicked. So any temperature, any pauliness was straight to the doctors. So I took her to the doctors. Yep, ear infection, needs antibiotics, keep an eye on her, X, Y and Z. I've left the doctors. Carrying toddler, bag, everything else.

I've put the child in the car seat thrown my car keys over the passenger seat as I've done that I've not known that the car is locked so as I fastened her in the car bag with my phone in toddler with a temperature fastened in I've shut the door and then i've heard it lock and then just fall into pieces because i've no phone because my phone's in the bag with the toddler my keys are in the front of the seat that i can see and toddler with temperature is just sat looking at me like no the doctors where i was was a good 20 minute drive from where I lived. So I couldn't walk. I've ran up to the nearest passing car screaming, I need your phone, I need your phone.

So I don't even know why he gave it me because I've literally just run up to him. I've not given him a backstory. I'm screaming at him, give me your phone. He's given me his phone. I don't know how to use said stranger's phone you know like somebody gives you a phone that's not what you used to so i'm screaming at him to type in a phone number didn't know anybody's mobile so i had to ring my mom and dad's landline they're on holiday luckily my sister was at home she didn't drive it's one of those where it just gets worse

and worse and worse so she ran into the doctors. They advised calling the fire brigade. The fire brigade came and were very calming. I was tears trying to sing, twinkle, twinkle. Through the glass. It's like a prison visit. Anything I could do just to like, she was dead calm. Hearing Helen and seeing Helen,

it's still quite distressing for you, isn't it, to relive it? But it must be a common thing, Helen, that we all have, I call it baby brain. Yes. And it is, you do things and you think, I would never have done that. Well, because your brain is literally all over the place, especially if your little one's poorly.

You know, you really are worrying about them and probably lack of sleep as well how did they get around did they smash the window or just do something the lock one of the firefighters managed to get a wire coat hanger prize a bit of the door hook the keys with the wire coat hanger and we managed to like press the boot buttons i mean i i'm one of them helen i i can't even leave the dogs in the car if i'm putting petrol in because i panic that something's, you know, someone will crash into them or someone will steal them or they'll just get too hot. So that's with Norman and Ollie. I'm trying to think if he was a child. I don't, I probably would have head-butted the window or anything. Just try and

get to them. I did go and take a crate of beer and some chocolates to them firemen afterwards because... They saved the day. Yeah. But I bet your little one didn't know any different. She was oblivious. Oh, brilliant. Well, thank you so much for sharing it, Helen. Oh, well, thank you.

Well, your episode last week with Tanya is... Because she's now a tween, the little one that I locked in the car. So we're going through the whole social media and phones thing so that episode last week was spot on she was good wasn't she tanny it just yeah really just made me go oh okay yeah i get it so thank you thank you so much helen So this is The Overshare and we're discussing all those moments of panic, chaos and confusion in when parenting goes wrong.

And next up we have Nick. Now you would think that when you take your mum shopping with you, you've got an extra pair of hands and you think it would benefit you. My little girl was about two weeks old. It was like our first time out, you know, out, out. Mum's proudly pushing this baby along in the pushchair, you know, and we were wandering around a clothes shop.

She sort of went off one way and I went off another. I came back and she wasn't holding on to the pram. And I'm a bit like, oh, you need to hold the pram so that's you know so I said don't worry mum I've got her and I walked off went around the shop went and paid for my stuff and we left and this baby starts crying and I'm like my my baby's never made that noise before what's that and I've pulled back the hood of the push. It's not my baby. Oh, my gosh.

I took someone else's baby. I don't know where mine was. I didn't know where mine was. I mean, the pram, it wasn't the same as mine. It was similar, but it wasn't the same as mine. It was different colours. Oh, my gosh. I rushed back and this woman's walking around the shop,

she had no clue. Oh, so she made the same mistake. That shows how tired mums are. I had a little girl, she had a little boy and we, you know. Yeah, they all look the same though, don't they, when they're a couple of weeks old? They're sort of all wrapped up. Yeah, they all look like little old men regardless,

I think, when they're weeks old. Yeah, they do. And I had one of those old big clunky travel systems, not with the car seat. The baby was in the actual push chair and the hood was over and the cosy toes was on it because it was October, or it was November at this point. It was cold.

She was all sort of bundled up. And how did you approach the moment? You'd obviously had no idea either. Did you just like, excuse me? She hadn't noticed at all. She was still wandering around the shop that we were in to start with thank god she was still there I imagine if she'd have like left and got on a bus or something and what did you say to your mum well it's funny because um you know my mum's my mum's you know she was brought up in a time when you left your kids outside the front door for a bit of fresh air you know

yeah um she she probably wasn't quite as protective as i am as a parent um you know i'm the youngest of five um none of us ever died or anything you know i do miss that kind of you know just playing in the mud and not having to quick get anti anything, you know. I do miss that kind of, you know, just playing in the mud and not having to, quick, get Auntie back, because you've got mud on your hands, you know. Oh, yeah, I'm going to go now. Stuff like that now. I mean, my Nana and Grandad, we used to do anything at their house.

And my mum, I mean, it's awful. I would definitely, definitely never recommend this to any mum. But my mum said back when she was teething it was a bit of whiskey on the finger and putting whiskey on the gums yeah a bit of rum when we were little yeah a bit of rum whereas now I think we panic more because of society like you don't know if the do you put a hat on them do you not are they going to be too hot are they sleeping for too long do you have to wait them There's so much like pressure and stress. And every single child is so different as well, aren't they?

Like, it's really interesting that you could recognise that cry after a couple of weeks. You're like, that's not the normal cry. It's not my baby. Yeah. I think you do pick that up quite quickly, I think. You know, when your own kid, the noises and sounds that your own kid makes. You have like a, almost a natural response to it, I think.

Yeah. I mean, I've got seven kids. Wow. That's a lot of room. Yeah, a lot of room. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and they're all, I mean, I've been quite lucky. My kids are all really, really, have all been really, really chilled out.

Apart from my youngest, she's autistic, so it's a little bit different. But the rest of them were all really chilled out babies. And, you know, I wasn't, I was really quite laid back. Yeah. You know, my oldest, my older siblings have all got kids. So I sort of grew up with a lot of kids. Yeah. You know, babies and stuff.

So I found that quite easy. But you do, you do really quite quickly pick up on those. You know when it's a real cry or a fakey, just a whinge or a painful, there's a tired cry and a painful cry, isn't there? You know them all. You start to tune in, don't you? Yeah. And how do you cope with seven kids?

Because you look very nice and normal and fresh. I am anything but normal I mean I so I had my my oldest daughter I had very young I was only just 17 when I had her right she's now 26 um I've only got two now that are still in school ones that well two at college and one at school still the others are all adult know, moving on and doing their own thing. I've got a few grandkids. I was going to say, you've kind of done, because my sister, she's got three kids, but the youngest is 20.

She had them early. And she says it now, her and her hubby, Rob, they've kind of got their life back in that they can go on holiday on their own. The kids are very independent, whereas I've done it the complete opposite, whereas I'm going to have no life until I'm at least retired. Now mine are a bit older and they are a bit more independent. I sort of sit here and think, well, what do I do now? Yeah, that's the thing.

Brand children, obviously. Well, Nick, thank you so much. Thanks for joining us and thank you for oversharing. That's OK. Thank you. Thank you for joining us, Louise Louise on the When Parenting Goes Wrong episode. So tell us about your worst experience as a charity do. Oh gosh, right so we off we went one day, got the kids ready as you do. Chaos every day. My kids, they're older now, but at the time my daughter was almost three, son was a few weeks old. So as you obviously know, a toddler with a baby in tow is crazy

getting them ready. But we went and we were milling around the stalls looking for things to do. Obviously my daughter clocked the face painting straight away and just wanted to go and get her face painted some sort of unicorn with glitter that you know is never going to come off anything so sat her down started looking around and there was like a kind of tombola stall next door seen a kind of frozen doll and thought well maybe take our chance at that so went over handed my son over to the lady so I could get some money out of my purse and got the money out done the tumble I didn't win turned around seen my daughter was almost done so went back and then she'd seen this kind of game the other side that she wanted to go and do so off we went to do that waited in

the queue and then yeah this woman just tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around and uh she says to me is this your baby and I was like oh yeah it's my baby I completely handed them over to this stranger to get money out and done the tombola thing and then just wandered off just completely forgot I had a baby like a few weeks prior I love that the tumbola took priority I suppose then you start thinking oh my gosh people are going to be judging me now but he's we were saying earlier when you're so tired and your mind's just it's all over the shop isn't it I was at the event with some other mums that I'd met through a friend of a friend who were most of them were first-time parents so when I was like laughing about theums that I'd met through a friend of a friend who were most of them were first-time

parents so when I was like laughing about the fact that I handed him over to a stranger and then just wandered off they were really horrified by that and just saying how could you have forgotten now luckily they've all gone and had more children and completely understand but at the time I think they judged me a lot. My nana left my mum outside the post office. She left, she went to the post office and she walked with the pram and walked home and apparently my granddad said, where's our Sandra?

And my nana screamed, burst into tears and she just left her in a pram and it's like near a main road and everything. And she just ran back and my mum was apparently flat out in the pram, knew no different. This is a classic thing, isn't it, Helen? Obviously, we're all in it together and it's not, I'm assuming you speak to lots of

families who have done similar things. Yeah, absolutely. First of all, can I say, I'm very impressed that you are outdressed with a baby that's a few weeks old. You know, because like you say, it's, you know, it's a real juggle, isn't it? Yeah. But, you know, going from one to two is quite a leap as you probably know Gemma yeah in some ways it's easier because you've done it all before so I'm a lot more relaxed in I know when it's a heat rash and I know you know it's a lot more relaxed that way for me yeah but it's also when the dad's home it's all right because there's two of us but when you're when you're outnumbered you know literally it's a right because there's two of us. But when you're outnumbered, you know, literally it's a minefield.

Sometimes, as you say, you're just so tired and you're just so focused on making sure that one's okay, you sometimes forget about the other one. We have to make clear, all of these stories that we've had on the episode, none of them, there's a clear difference in the between. They're just light mishaps that we all make, isn't there? You know, it's surely just a proof of how stressful being a bloody parent is that's all it is absolutely and it is tough being a parent and it's really about the support that you have around you

you know you need people to be able to sort of say it's all right I've been there too yeah and and I think there is lots and lots of support I mean things like listening to this podcast and someone's going to say oh thank goodness for that that happened to me and I felt really bad we really do beat ourselves up as parents don't we we put a lot of stress on ourselves sometimes as well it's about us being human we make mistakes yeah if our children made mistakes we'd want them to uh to to be able to cope and handle it as well yeah that's actually that's how we learn and that's how children learn as well thank you for oversharing and good luck with the parenting from here on thank you thanks for having me

so that's it for another overshare you so, so much to all of our guests. Thank you for all of your stories. We had a great response as usual. They've all been read and they're all very much appreciated. Please keep them coming. Thank you as well to Helen. I hope you have a safe trip home. Now, Helen, obviously you work with a lot of families.

If anyone wants to find you on social media, what's the handle? What's your name on social media? You can find us on all the social media channels um it's people center and it's people spelled p-e-e-p-l-e and also our website with lots of information and also we train practitioners so if you're out there and you're a practitioner and want to do some training to work with families then do have a look on there too brilliant thank you so much as ever we would love your comments on this episode and your reviews as well you can get in touch whenever you want via our whatsapp on 07761 039898 or you can email us at the

overshare at bowermedia.co.uk the overshare is produced by matt Foyster and there's much more to come in our special haven of Oversharing. Right, I'm off home now to two kids. Wish me luck. Everybody happy? Yeah, buddy!