The Overshare with Gemma Atkinson - THE LONGEST LIE: Secrets, Double Lives and Betrayal!

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

We uncover jaw-dropping stories of deception that went unnoticed for years. From hidden secrets to shocking truths, we dive into the lies that took the longest to be uncovered and explore the impact of finally finding out the truth.

welcome fellow over sharers we're back in our cozy safe space on our cozy couches from dfs so thank you to you guys abby's back as well abby's the expert on our podcast she was with us for series one she's back for series two because we do always like to have an expert in the field of subjects. I could get us into a lot of trouble with my advice. Hopefully you've heard our first series by now. If you haven't, they're all on here so you can check them out

if you want to either re-listen to series one or listen for the first time. We really, really appreciate it. We were gobsmacked with some of the stories we'd had for series two. We put out some of the episodes we were doing, and honestly, the stories we had back from you were amazing. I think because secretly we all love a bit of drama, don't we?

A bit of drama, a bit of gossip, especially when it's someone else's drama that you can just watch or listen to from afar. It kind of takes us away from the chaos and madness of our own lives. So thank you, as always, for getting in touch. Today's episode is called The Longest Lie. We want stories from people, well, we've got stories from people who are practically devastated because they've found out

that someone extremely close to them has been harbouring this lie for a long, long time. And from what I gather, there's more gasps incoming. Check this out. I don't know whether my mum knew about the first marriage and about this child. So then I went a little bit FBI, started doing a bit of internet stalking and I found out that he was married the whole time. It's six small lies per day on average, three big lies per day. That would put you in that bracket

over being a prolific liar. And he doesn't exist. Yeah, this guy doesn't exist. He was pretending to be someone else the whole time. As ever, to protect our oversharers, we've changed the names of some of the stories in this episode. Because it's a lot, isn't it, to come our oversharers, we've changed the names of some of the stories in this episode. Because it's a lot, isn't it, to come on and share your story, especially when you've not processed it yourself.

So some of the names have been changed. Let's get to it. I'm sat in Gawker's jumper. I nick all his stuff. And I've got makeup on that.'s jumper. I nick all his stuff. And I've got makeup on that. I've worn another one of his. And I've got some of my makeup on his neckline. And we're going to wind him up by asking him, whose makeup is on your neckline?

He'll be like, I don't know what you mean. What have I said? So our first guest on today's episode is Michelle. Thank you for coming on, Michelle. Thank you for oversharing. So talk us through the epic lie you discovered because let's go back to the beginning. You met someone online dating, didn't you? And it was all going well until he told you something.

Is that right? Well, yes and no. So I met him online dating years ago before the apps when it was like dating direct or something, you know. He used to just log on to the computer. I met this guy it was really nice we got on like a like a house on fire he came and picked me up for lunch that was our first day and you know there was chemistry shall we say so yeah we dated for about three months um we were talking every day, all day, every day, all night, every night. And he was newly single when we met and I knew that.

And he said to me one day, look, I found out my ex is pregnant and I don't really want to miss out on my kid. We're going to try and give it another go. So I'm like, okay, well, you know, fair dues, you know. I can understand you're not willing to miss out on your child I felt like he's a good guy um prior to his kid yeah 100% I think that was the right thing to do you know it was it was gutting but understandable and he was you know I'll give him clearly good guy vibes for doing that but we decided to stay friends we check in probably once every few months see how each other was you know see what

was going on and this was 12 years ago and I only know it was 12 years ago because my sister was pregnant and he was the very first person I told that I'd become an auntie like I was so excited and then he changed his whatsapp picture I knew we're doing football coaching now um he changed his whatsapp picture and it said the name of the football club so I was being nosy to be honest I wanted to see what he looked like I hadn't seen him in a long time and there was a picture of his his son I thought oh god he's got big as well and then I I saw the name and the name was not right I thought oh maybe maybe they got divorced or something and he's got his mum's maiden name and then they had like a pic that I think of the coach and stuff I thought oh I know he coaches for these guys.

Let me have a little look. And there he was, bold as brass. Completely different name to the name I've known for all of these years. The child was in, he was in the football age group that meant that he was born when I met this guy. He was already here. So he wasn't, he hadn't just found out the baby was coming so yeah i just met him so the baby already existed so then i went a little bit fbi started doing a bit of internet stalking and i found out that he's he he was married the whole time um he's been married this whole time you know we've spoken every few months for for 12 years

this guy was my friend and he doesn't exist yeah this guy doesn't exist he was pretending to be someone else the whole time and he's is he aware that you know all this now no so he's messaged me a few times since I found out but I have chosen not to engage because I don't know who you are I don't know who you are that's I mean first of all for to keep it all for 12 years is insane like that's just it's giving me like me myself and Irene vibes do you mean lie to you about being a father when you were giving him credit in your mind for prioritizing his child that was on the way but he already had a child and the fact that he what i don't understand with this abby is he had a get out card you know michelle was relaxed and mature enough to understand right

baby's on the way i will step back i will do the right thing and i'll let you thrive with your child's life that was his get out. Why then would he suggest, let's still be friends, let's still remain contact? He clearly had no fear of getting caught, no kind of worry. Because for me, if I was in that situation, that's my clean break. Michelle's not kicked off. She's happy for me to just go about it. Why then dig deeper?

It's almost like they still want a bit of control. He sounds like a prolific liar, which is about 9.7% of the UK population. Really? Yeah. And the prolific means they'll lie about anything and everything. They'll lie a lot. So it's six small lies per day on average, three big lies per day. That would put you in that bracket

over being a prolific liar and also prolific liars often think that it can't be changed so they just continue to do it it's like a habit wow and wow i'm thinking because i know i know people like that who yeah they just go along with their own kind of version of events and that's it but i find as well i mean obviously michelle the guy in question here must have had a very good memory because i always think the reason i'm a terrible liar is because i've not got a good enough memory i'd forget what fake name i had or i'd forget you know forget yeah you have to be a very intelligent person i think to be a prolific liar in some aspects so you don't trip yourself up well I think um so a couple of times do you remember when you used to be able to send

like a broadcast text message but if you changed your number or something you need to send it to your whole phone book yeah um a couple of times over the years I've got a text that looked like it was a group text um saying this is such and such's new number. Update it in your phones. So it makes me wonder how many other people there were that know him as that. And that's not his name. Yeah, but it was definitely consistent over the years. Yeah, and it's just a waste of your time as well.

That's why it's annoying like him to him deciding oh we'll just be mates or you know we've got this it's just a waste of of your time that you invested in him and you mentioned you met online dating i mean people can be deceptive on dating apps can't they mean that's the thing you can pretend to be whoever you like how can how can you really check people who they are? They say they are on a dating app because it could be anybody. It could just be a fake profile picture. no straight away is impossible and obviously you can do your fbi digging like which which happened here but i think really you have to maybe when you start to think oh i want to check that question why it is that you feel the need to check it like is that coming from your own insecurity which could be the case if you're an anxious data or if this has happened to you before or is it coming from like their behavior and what they're doing because there's something that triggers that and i think it's important to realize for

yourself when that's occurring and it's coming from them to move away yeah to pull yourself out of the situation with with you michelle do you not does a part of you want him to know that you know are you just like like you never tempted to just send him his real name on a text and say, hi, how are you, such a buddy? Yeah. Yeah, I am. And I know they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I wasn't overly scorned because it's been a long time now, but I was upset for the girl that I was then, if that makes sense,

because I really thought, oh, he's so nice and he got on so well. And I kind of always thought about him as the one that got away almost. Yeah. And I was so upset when I found out that this guy that I liked did not exist. But yeah, I definitely, I mean, he's got his own company, his own company's house. I went to some interesting levels of digging to find out who this guy is. And I thought, I'll just send a letter to his house tell his wife you know but firstly that's I don't need to explode a family that's just ridiculous but secondly I don't know who you are so I don't know actually how you'd react to I don't know

just difficult because you're clearly not anybody that you told me you were it's like you're you're blindsided and I've had relationships not where they've told me you were. It's like you're blindsided. And I've had relationships, not where they've lied about, you know, I know who they are, but the narcissism is like, how could I have thought you were so one way when ultimately you were the complete opposite? And you feel, obviously it's not our fault,

but I felt foolish. I was like, because everyone else, when I tell the story, they're're like how did you not know but at the time you're so it's not even about being invested I think you're just so hopeful and what I want to just quickly go back to is just to praise you for the taking care of your safety and thinking about that because I think with dating the most important thing is your emotional and your physical safety like number one and so it's probably the best move to not actually get involved with the wife not get involved in in it anymore and you've got such good self-control because I feel like if it was me I would be a very different person in this

scenario and it wouldn't be a good thing yeah I'm hoping Michelle it's not a case of you you've lost faith in men have you moved on since then yourself or are you still a bit cautious I mean I'm definitely more cautious definitely um yeah I I don't know like I haven't really dated recently but I don't necessarily think that's down to down to him I I definitely am more self-aware. I felt like an idiot, you know. But when I've taken time to give myself a bit of grace around the situation, there was no way of me knowing. I just took this guy as a word because you kind of have to trust people

until they prove that you can't trust them. And also, if you're not a liar, you're not walking around thinking everybody else is lying. If you're a liar, you're not walking around thinking everybody else is lying. If you're a liar, you're probably better at spotting a liar. Yeah. Think about it because you're operating in that headspace. Oh, Michelle, thank you so much for coming on. And again, for highlighting, first of all,

how you need to be careful with anyone you're dating. And the whole, it's a catfishing, isn't it? Is that what they call it when you've been catfished? Yeah. But Michelle, thank you so much for coming on and oversharing. Your story's so interesting. You're welcome. Thank you for having me on.

Thank you, Michelle. Okay, so our next guest, I want you to picture this. Imagine how you'd feel if you discovered that your father had a family before yours. So before you came along, your dad already had another family. This is exactly what happened to Pauline. I can't even begin to imagine. Welcome to the Overshare, Pauline. Take us back to the moment you found out that your dad had another life.

Well, there's actually, there was two marriages that I didn't know about. My mum and dad were married in 1957, I think. And they had me and my brother. I lost my dad in 1988, lost my mum in 1996. And as we were going through all of her stuff in her flat, my brother gave me their marriage certificate. And I just said, oh, yeah, that's interesting. He said, no, you need to read it. And when I read it, I saw that it said previous marriage dissolved. So I didn't know that he'd been married before. He didn't want either my brother or I to know.

But my mum actually told my brother. But I didn't know. That was the first time. I had an aunt at that point. She's now passed away, but I had an aunt and I said to her, did you know about this? And she did. And she thought that we knew, obviously my brother knew, but I didn't know. That was the first big shock. And then I was talking to my brother last year about something totally unrelated. He said to me, I just remembered I got a letter from somebody a few years ago saying that we might be related.

I said to my brother, have you done anything about it? And he said, no, I'll send it to me. Send it to me. I want to know what's going on. I want to know what's happened sort of thing. And the letter was from somebody. I've got it here actually. I printed it off last night because even I got confused about the date.

So he sent this letter in 2018 saying that he was looking for, and then he said my brother's name and then my dad's name and my mum's name. And it says, my family is a close relation to you. I'm guessing that you're probably unaware of that and he was very kind he said if you're not the person I apologize for making this contact if you are the person but you'd rather not be in contact I understand and respect your choice but I immediately got on the email and said to him what I'm I'm the the sister in this situation, what's it all about? He then sent me an email back and in it, he was saying that his dad was my dad's son. So his dad would have been my half brother. Shocked is not,

I mean, I was completely blindsided and I didn't know what to think. I was angry. I was angry that I didn't know. I was angry that my dad could have left a child. Why would they not tell you? Because like you say, you've missed out on another family with memories and relatives. And, you know, I mean, I've got cousins, I've got a sister, nieces and nephews. You're all connected in such a lovely way. Do you have any reason at all to try and work out why he would keep that but yet tell your mother but not no mama i don't know whether my mum knew about this first marriage with the son i don't know whether she knew i know she knew about the second marriage that was on was on

their wedding certificate there's two marriages here there's my dad first got married in 1934 and that's when he had the child then they split up and then he married again in 1945 that was at the end of the war what i'm assuming not knowing is that it was the end of the war everybody's happy and lala everybody's in love isn't it fantastic let's get married and yet that marriage didn't work out either and then he met and married my mum and had us. So I don't know whether my mum knew about his first marriage and about this child. And I was really quite upset by all of this, as you can imagine. And it wasn't so much, it's funny, Gemma,

it's not the fact that I grew up without knowing that part of the family. It's the fact that I couldn't understand why he actually left. It's changed the opinion of your dad, but without having a bottom line to it. I mean, had he been honest with you, he could have said, look, the times were so, so difficult. It was in my son's or daughter's interest to be with their mother. Or he could have said, you know, we made a joint decision. Best for the baby to be with the mum.

It could have been, I have no say in it. in it the mum took them exactly but you will never have that closure so now you are left wondering what happened in your dad's life that he either walked away from or had no choice in walking away from another baby that would have been your brother or sister yeah what you've just said there was spot on because I've got a very good friend and I was telling her about all of this and I was saying to her, who was my dad? My whole life has shifted. And she said to me, the bottom line is,

it doesn't affect your childhood. It doesn't affect the way your dad was with you. It doesn't affect the fact that your dad loved you and the way that he was your dad. And there's nothing you can do about it. So you have to just try and draw a line under it because you will never know. I'm a very firm believer that if you're bitter about anything, the only person who suffers about bitterness is yourself.

And I didn't want all of my childhood, which was a really good childhood. We were loved. We were looked after, my brother and I know and it doesn't change any of that but who was my dad but the reason why I contacted you was because I actually met up with the person who'd sent the letter and when I saw your Instagram post talking about lying I was like you want to know about a lie let me tell you about a lie it's like a puzzle i mean abby we've got abby here who's a live coach and and relations you deal with relationships how does someone come to terms in you know in pauline's case how do you come to terms with news like this because it's hard to get closure isn't it how do you process that when

the person in question can't fight the corner it's really hard and kudos to you for feeling like you've been able to move forward a little bit what i would suggest is in this spot is you want to express all the emotion of the emotions that you do have because they're all valid the way that you feel is normal you might feel annoyed at yourself even for feeling angry about it or upset but just express all the emotions and also speak to a therapist if you need to obviously not everybody's up for that but you need to be able to talk through it with somebody and then think about it from his perspective from a empathetic standpoint because sometimes we can be like oh he's such a demon he's an awful person

but there's a reason for it and if you see I've seen your dad as a really, really great dad. I think it's good for you to hold on to, actually, he was a great dad to me. And he's not here to defend himself. So if you can work towards letting it go, that's amazing. Because that's for you. Like you said, you don't want to hold on to that bitterness. And maybe you can find a way of channeling it into something good for example coming onto this podcast and speaking about it might make other people think okay so that's happened to me or

something similar's happened to me yeah you're there for helping other people so even though it's a negative thing you can spin it into a positive which is what I think you're doing right now yeah I think had had we been having this discussion a few months ago when I first found out about this, we might be having a completely different conversation than we are now. It's just I'm crossed, I suppose. I'm crossed that I can't ask anybody the question. There's nobody.

Nobody would know. You will have helped. There will be people listening with similar situations. So thank you. Thank you so much, Pauline. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much Pauline I really appreciate it thank you so much for oversharing with us all right no worries thank you very much so this is Kelly um who has a very familiar lie I'm'm guessing, involving a pet. I think perhaps a lot of people know what's coming.

Welcome to the Overshare, Kelly. I believe you had to involve your granddad into this. I know, awful. So my son was four at the time. He's now 20. So this is a long time ago. And we were going on holiday. It was our first holiday together.

We had a lovely cat called Lily and we'd had her for just over a year. My son was besotted with her. It was his first pet. And as you do when you're going on holiday, you manic getting everything ready. I was cleaning the house and I'd left a window slightly ajar,

bit of air in the house, as I usually did. She was a house cat and had never been out before. And I just couldn't find her anywhere, sort of all of a sudden. And I noticed the window was more ajar. Oh, my God, she's got out for the first time ever. Typical on the day going away and she's booked into a cattery. And I went outside looking for her. And unfortunately, there'd been an accident and and she'd been hit what looked like I'd been hit by a car and I just

panicked as you do I was going away I didn't know what to do it was his first pet and I think you know when it's your firsts for all of these things, first loss, you only make those choices based on your best interests of your child. And I just didn't want him to be so sad and so upset. So I rang my granddad, who is like nine and tied to us, my grandma and granddad. And I said, oh my God, what am I going to do? We're going away. We're meant to be taking her to the cattery.

And he came and picked up and said don't worry about it you go and enjoy your holiday I'll bury her in the bottom of our garden and you can decide what you want to do when you get home so we did that we went away and then we got home and for whatever reason I chose to do this I don't know but I didn't tell him the truth I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I told him that she got out and she'd run away but she hadn't come home and we'd not been able to find her and that she probably made a cat friend and was super happy living somewhere else and I'm sure many people have done that but this went on for 15 years and I just never could find the right time and I know that sounds ridiculous but I think he got to about maybe eight and he found out certain other things weren't real his reaction to that was really quite severe in that I'd lied to

him so then in the back of my mind I'm thinking oh my god I said to my husband I can never tell him about Lily because he'd never forgive me from the age of four right up until 19 when I told him he brought her up on so many occasions and I think then part of the reason for me not telling him was quite selfish because I then didn't want him to think badly about me for lying and then it was last year at the beginning of last year he was 19 and he just I don't know why but he just brought her up again in conversation randomly and it just like verbal diarrhea out my mouth and I just went I've got something to tell you and I thought oh no in my head I

thought I've committed now and how did he say it so we just sat down and I just said you know that day when you were four with Lily I said she didn't run away I said she actually died and I said I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I said but we buried her in Nine and Tides back garden she's been there the whole time and he was just really quiet because he's a bit of he's a lad's lad so the only thing he's ever sensitive with are our pets you know he's never really sensitive with anything else so I took him I said do you want to go and see sort of where she was and I took him to um my grandma's garden my granddad's passed was. And I took him to my grandma's garden. My granddad's passed now, unfortunately,

but I took him to my grandma's garden and I took him down to the corner and she'd been buried by this beautiful tree. And I showed him and I said, I'll give you a couple of minutes. And I went back up to the kitchen with my grandma and she's got a huge window. We stood there and watched him.

And I know it sounds silly, but he didn't say anything he was just very quiet and peaceful about it but i was looking and it makes me emotional now but for me i was not looking at a 19 year old young man that i just told i was looking at my four year old little boy at the bottom of the garden saying goodbye to his his cat that had died which is something i really feel i should have spoken to him about a very very long time ago but it definitely i mean i've got your other other children since him that are younger now and we've lost another pet since and it's definitely made me deal with it different completely differently yeah hugely because i just think that you can't feel

everything for your kids can you you know you've got to you've got to be honest as in even because you're proof that even a lie that's protecting someone can take its toll on you um yeah exactly and i think it builds resilience in them as well by them going through loss yeah upset and actually it's not your job to take that emotion away from them it's your job to support them you know you did what you did and it's in the past but obviously it didn't allow him that opportunity to learn that it's okay to feel these things yes if you if you're a child and you get to go through the grief which obviously is not nice you have to go through it at some point in time so it's a real learning curve and it means you're able to move forward with confidence in the future when these things happen like oh this

has happened before i know i can handle it yeah if we make death a subject that we don't talk about it becomes bigger and scarier and more of a taboo subject so it's better to be honest even though like i completely understand why you didn't want to tell him because it's obviously going to break his little heart especially before his holiday as well yeah a lot of times because we lost our dog norman bless him um when mia was it was just before you died on the first of july mia was five on the 4th of July. And, oh, it was awful. That was the hardest thing for me was having to tell her because from the minute she came home from hospital,

Norman and Ollie had been there. You know, they were the first things. She literally, every day of her life, had them there. And my first personal loss was my dog, Fergie, when Fergie passed away. And it was, for me was telling Mia and seeing her her not understanding he's just not here anymore yeah and she was like so is he gone to heaven then I said yes I said he's got but why why why is he and it's the you don't know how to follow up the

the I think I had a fear of how many times she was going to ask me about it. And I remember saying to Gawker, maybe I should have said he's just gone away for a bit and hoped she'd forget about it. But that's given her a false hope. Yeah. Because he's not going to come back. Yeah, you're meant to be quite final with it.

Yeah. Which is tough. Because you have to, it sounds awful, but you have to normalise death in a way. You do. Because it is actually normal. I think we all die. Yeah.

But it's such a final big, big thing. And I think it's because we're scared of death ourselves as adults. It makes it hard for us to talk about it too. To others. Because a lot of us, I'm scared of death. Not all adults are, but I think a lot of us still are. I think it's lovely, Kelly, in your case, that at 19 years old, your son still got emotional about.

That shows what an impact that little cat had on him at such a young age. And I always say that about pets. I think any child who grows up with a pet, it teaches them empathy, teaches them to be responsible for another being, responsibility to nurture. I'm all for kids growing up with pets. And even 15 years on, for him to still have that time shows what an impact that little cat had on him.

Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's lovely. And I think with my girls now we we have lost a pet since and did it completely differently my um my my I had six fish when I was a kid six fantail fish and uh one of them died and my I was so distraught I went up to my bedroom to cry like it was dramatic and my dad said don't worry I will i will bury her in the in the garden so i said okay and my bedroom overlooked the back garden and i was upstairs crying i thought i'll look over i genuinely hand on heart saw my dad look into the house with my little fish in his hand look do two steps and lobbed it over the garden fence into this like field behind and i went burst into tears oh no and it turned out next door neighbor next door had a

cat and he said he said if we if we put the fish in the garden we'll have next door's catting bloody doing its mess everywhere and we we had a dog, Fergie. My mum was like, David! Pretending she wasn't in on it. How could you? But it turned out, I thought for years, that all my fish were going to be buried in the garden. They were just lobbed over the fence. And that broke my heart.

Mine were flushed down the toilet. See, that would have been the better option but i physically saw it he looked back in the house and two steps and threw it and i was just like that was red she had a little red tail well thank you so so much i think a lot of people will relate to that yeah definitely definitely um and kudos to you you've obviously raised a very kind caring lad um 99 of the time. Yes. They have the moments.

Thank you so much, Kelly. Thank you for having me. Thank you very much. Good luck with the rest of the podcast. Oh, thank you. See you later. As you know, there's many ways to get in contact with us here at The Overshare. You can join us on an episode whenever you want.

You can go to our socials and leave us a message there. Or you can send us a voice note like Kate has done. Hiya. So when my kids were around six or seven, they were given a chocolate Santa. My son ate his immediately, but my daughter sat in the cupboard for weeks. Anyway, sometime mid-January, I needed a chocolate fix.

It hit the spot and I thought nothing more of it until a few weeks after that when she asked for her chocolate. Panic started to rise. I pretended I needed a chocolate fix. It hit the spot and I thought nothing more of it until a few weeks after that when she asked for her chocolate. Panic started to rise. I pretended to have a good look. She had a good look, but when we couldn't find it, she quite rightfully started to get a bit sassy. I probably panicked in that moment. The words, dad must have eaten it, fell out of my mouth. Ruby felt wronged by her dad, so needed to raise it with him when he got him from work. And Ade, being the most wonderful man that he is went along with it apologising for his error of judgement.

Every Christmas came with a warning from Ruby to Ade not to eat her chocolate. At one point she even entrusted me to help her find hiding places for it. By the time she was 16 I was absolutely dying of guilt so we sat her down and I confessed. She was livid telling me that she was disappointed in my actions and she asked me if the chocolate was worth it. I looked at my husband and he looked at her and said, yeah, I think it was. So Kate is bad Santa there, isn't she? I mean, that's a mum lie for a long, long time.

It is, but I feel like it's quite a tame lie. A funny lie. In the scheme of things. I found that one quite a funny one, yeah. And I relate to it because there are times when you do need chocolate and no one will get in the way of that, even your kids. It's like, if it's in the cupboard and I need it, I'm going to have it. Yeah, if you've left it for several weeks, you're obviously not that keen, are you?

That's what I'd be thinking. I love how the dad just went along. So for all this time, she yeah blaming her dad all this time when deep down it was a mum it proves how good liars mums can be actually and how far dad's go to keep the peace yeah i think gorka would have thrown me under the buffs and you know we're quite um bad at detecting lies yeah i found that the average person can only detect a lie about 54 at the time really yeah so it's like 50 50 almost oh wow yeah i wonder what it is something to do with their eyes moving a certain way so what they say if you look a certain way because i always think right if i

need to lie about anything keep eye contact because then they can't say she looked left she was lying yeah it's actually to do with like a change in behaviour more than the actual eye contact itself. Like if they blush, if they get a bit flustered. I feel like with my partner, his mouth changes when he lies. And I'm like, you're doing your lying mouth. The lying mouth is happening. And I can't even tell you what it is. And it's usually like a silly lie. And he kind of isn't trying to hide it that harsh. You know, like it's not a really hidden lie, like a deep lie.

Would you be offended if because obviously when it comes to lying some people it's the lie it's it's not it's not what the lie was about it's the fact it was a lie like for example if he ate something of yours yeah broke something that meant a lot to you and panicked so said it wasn't him it was someone else but then years down the line you found out it was him would that annoy you that he'd lied about something so little or that he just lied anyway i don't think that would annoy me because it's like a protective lie like it's not coming from a bad place okay so you've got your like malicious lies and then you've got your you know protective lies or you might lie about how you feel about something it's not a nasty lie

it would bother me if he was telling lies, like big lies. I don't mind a white lie. Yeah, because I remember when I was pregnant with Tiago, I was like, well, you saw me, three and a half stone heavier. My face was like a moon. And I'd say to Gorka every day, do I look all right? And he'd go, you look beautiful, Gemma. There's so much more. And I'd be like, do I really, though? And he'd go you look beautiful Gemma there's so much more

and I'd be like do I really though and he'd say yes and he since told me you looked awful you were so big with Tiago and I've said to him

did you really think that and he's like yeah of course you are so big like I just didn't look like myself but at the time he told me

that I looked gorgeous and he was like you're pregnant you're glowing you look beautiful it's only now I thought I look like 10 tons of shite I know you're offended by that I'm a little bit both I'm not offended as in because I think oh bless him he must have known I needed a pep up yeah sometimes you need the lie yeah yeah but also if he'd have said to me well you're massive of course you don't look yourself, I would have been probably kicked off with him for that.

So I don't think there was any right answer for him in that point. But it's the whole thing, I think guys dread it when a woman says, do I look all right in this? They go, yeah. Even when I think deep down, they sometimes probably think, no, you don't. Whereas a girl, mate, if I'm going out with a girl, sometimes I'll come downstairs and my best mate Laura will go,

are you wearing that? Why are you wearing that? That doesn't suit you and she's normally right and that's coming from a good place honesty from a good place whereas if Gorka said it to me I'd probably fall out with him isn't that weird? It's interesting What do you think's the difference? I don't know I think it's because you

expect your partner to always champion you I think So you want him to genuinely champion you, I think. So you want him to genuinely think you look amazing at all points in time. Even when I clearly don't. It's like, well, you should think I do. Yeah, your love's meant to be unconditional. Yeah, but then there's been episodes of Strictly where,

for example, he did an episode where he had these PVC pants on and everyone went mad for him, saying, oh my God, he looks amazing. And his bottom looked incredible but I said to him if you wore them day to day I'd be off do you know what I mean they wouldn't do anything for me I wouldn't like it like Ross on Friends. Felt like extreme. Yeah and he was like did you not like that I said no not they didn't do it for me so for things like that but then for his work I was like for the show it looked amazing just don't wear them like round asda anytime soon you know what i mean i told you it was juicy what an episode thank you so much don't forget to follow us you can

follow us on social media and Tell everyone about The Overshare because we would love to get more of you on. Please leave us a review, as always. We read them. Thank you to The Overshares for coming on. I know it was quite difficult to talk about some stuff. And thank you, as always, for listening. Without you guys, we couldn't do this.

So thank you for tuning into our little pod. Let us know what you thought. The Overshare is produced by Matt Foister and Molly Carter for Bauer Media. We shall return very, very soon.