The People, Process, & Progress Podcast - 5 Doses of Reality We Can All Use in 2023 | KEV Talks #27

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Five positive life-impacting statements that inspired and encouraged me and continue to give me a kick in the pants I need sometimes.“Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how.'��� – Viktor E. Frankl quoting Friedrich Nietzsche in Man’s Search for Meaning“There is no shortcut. There is no hack. There’s only one way. So, get after it.” – Jocko Willink, Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual.“Well, why don’t you just do it afraid?” – Joyce Meyer quoting a friend of hers.“We have an opportunity to make health so central that we have ample resources to help the downtrodden, the fallen, and the frail.” – James Geering, One More Light.“It is only when we listen to our pain that we can follow it back to its source…” – Johann Hari, Lost Connections.

Thanks for coming back to the KevTalks podcast, episode 27, five doses of reality we can all use in 2023. These are five nuggets, and there are many more of them, of wisdom, of knowledge, of a kick in the pants that we all need sometimes. And in particular, that have really impacted me over the past, gosh, five, six years, particularly in the past year, as I really squared away my mental, spiritual, and physical health again, which I wasn't quite doing and it caught up to me last year. And I hope this helps you and maybe can head off some stressors and some maybe self-doubt. I'm seeing a lot of that online, especially in Reddit and other places and just folks that don't have a great outlook. So I hope this helps your outlook.

Thank you for being at the KevTalks podcast. I'll see you right after this intro. It's time to lace up, chalk up, get logged in, and get locked on to the KevTalks podcast. Get ready to hear compelling interviews with extraordinary people, hear industry-leading best practices that will help you and your teams make progress together. Now let's get to this episode in three, 2, 1. Apple podcast and leave a rating or review, subscribe, share it with your friends. There's plenty of good content here, not just for me, but from the great guests that have had about leadership and mental health and public safety and a lot of good free resources there as well. So again, KevTalkSpot.com. So let's dive into these five doses of reality that we can all use in 2023. Number five is from Johan Hari's book, Lost Connections. And Johan Hari covers mental

health there as someone who was medicated early in his life for depression. And then he starts to study what's the reality of that, you know, what affects depression and all these great things. And I talked about that in a previous episode. But his quote that I am sharing that is a good dose of reality for us here in 2023 is, quote, it is only when we listen to our pain that we can follow it back to its source, quote, end quote. And this is near the end of the book. And so to me, you know, sometimes we want to get rid of pain.

I know I don't necessarily like pain, physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain. But if you think about when we have that pain, when I have physical pain from jujitsu or weightlifting or running, I know it's making me better so I can push through it. It also helps my mind that pain. But sometimes we try and mask it, right, with alcohol or drugs or prescription meds or ignoring it

or whatever vice or thing we use to hide that pain, but then we'll never solve it. And so Johan Hari's quote in the end of this book, and the book is great, so I highly recommend Lost Connections, end of this book, and the book is great. So I highly recommend Lost Connections, is really that pain gives us the strength that we need to push through hard times to find the core of what's going on. And if we just mask it, it'll just sit there and it doesn't make it any better. So if you're having pain, like pain that I that I had the fear I had of my family that were sick. And, you know, and what helped me was

facing the pain and honestly, just crying so hard and letting it out and then adjusting my sleep and cutting back on alcohol and all these different, you know, things that I wasn't doing well that contributed to me just, you know, being super stressed. I didn't face the pain, I tried to hide from it. And I highly recommend for you all, don't hide from the pain. Face it. Don't say, oh, I don't want to do this or that, you know, because it's too hard or it's too painful. And that's hard when we have memories, maybe traumatic memories or something that's happened

to us. And don't face that stuff by yourself. Get help. Get professional help. Talk to other folks. And we talked about this with the public safety guests I had, I've had on here before. You know, we want to talk to folks that we want to, that are like us, right. That have been on shifts, that have had bad calls that have, you know, gone. They're not just somebody that's going to say, Oh, I understand, but they've never lived that life.

So it takes practice, find the right person, but listen to your pain, right? You know, if you're feeling right physically and mentally, and if you're not sure, reach out to a buddy. And then if you're not sure, reach out and get some professional help. But again, Johan Hari lost connections. It is only when we listen to our pain that we can follow it back to its source. The fourth, we have an opportunity to make health so central that we have ample resources to help the downtrodden, the fallen, and the frail. And that's from James Gearing, who hosts the Behind the Shield podcast from his book, One More Light. This one, I think, is so impactful, because we're coming off this period where we were told, don't go outside and,

you know, don't go in buildings and wear this and wear that and get this pill and take that shot, all that good stuff. But what wasn't to me emphasized a lot was exercise, right? And knowing forever, forever, eating better and exercising is good for you. Going outside is good for you. Nature is good for you. And I joke, but I'm not really joking with friends and family sometimes when I see and we click through Netflix or Amazon or whatever, you know, not just them, but whatever streaming service, which is pretty much everything now, how many movies or shows are made that seems so horrible or just ridiculous, tons of money, right? Millions, billions of dollars. What if we took those billions of dollars and made more trails all over the place and outside workout areas, and we got healthier

school lunches for everybody and fed the kids that didn't have lunch, we could solve so many problems if we redirected money that we wasted on other things, right? Government doesn't, you know, do a great job with this money either, let alone private sector things. There's billions, I would say probably trillions of dollars out there that we could redirect. But as humans, for some reason, we choose not to. But James Gearing sentiment, I think that that we have the opportunity to make health so central. You know, we have ample resources to help the downtrodden, the fallen, the frail, we 100% do. And I believe that strongly, I've seen it. So for us as people, you know, why is that a dose of reality for me? Well, one, make make your own health central

and your family's health central, Get a good exercise routine going. Keep it simple at first, then ramp it up. Do some things. Eat a little better. It's actually not hard to eat well. And I talked about this on the EMS1 podcast. Even as a public safety person, it takes a little more planning, but it's possible. And take care of your mental health.

Give yourself rest. Practice mindfulness. The exercise helps the mind have some sort of faith, right? I talked about that in the episode got faith in something just all these practices together add up and for yourself, you're making health central, your holistic health central. Now, I can't redirect the resources in the world, but we individually can write the money I would spend on maybe that, you know, matcha frappuccino from Starbucks, and I like those things or the mocha frappuccino. Yes, I like frozen coffee

drinks. Maybe I'll spend that money or buy somebody else's, right? Or maybe I'll donate that to a better cause, a cause that feeds folks, a cause that does help, you know, cancer research or some other effort, is if collectively we redirect the money that we waste on so much stuff that we don't need just to have it. We could solve so many problems in the world. And that's that's I don't think too altruistic. It's it's the reality, right? So maybe give a little bit redirect it. And for us at the ground level, we can help redirect the monies while companies spending those billions and billions of dollars on movies can maybe start to

consider, you know, they could give a little bit more as well. This third one is, well, why don't you just do it afraid? And this I heard from Joyce Meyer and Joyce Meyer, I've mentioned here, is very influential for me, not just for me as a as a Christian, because honestly, my religion is something I'm kind of refreshing, is that she is a speaker as a Christian, because honestly, my religion is something I'm kind of refreshing, is that she is a speaker as a motivational person is heavily weighted in reality, right? Like you can believe what you believe. But you as a human being on the on earth have to put the work in, you have to. And so this came into me is really, I got sparked with some some triggers and some

traumatic things and just, you know, being super stressed out. And so I was very anxious. And sometimes I get like that. And what rings in my head when that happens is, well, why don't you just do it afraid? I know my body's healthy. I know I can walk. I know I can do things. I know I'm not crazy about flying, but I know planes are really safe. You know, jets are really safe. And so if we keep this in our head, why don't we just apply for that job afraid? Why don't we go to my first jujitsu class afraid? Everybody's afraid at some point, right? And that's just the reality of it. But if you can push past that, if you can take that step into your first jujitsu class, if you can go to that public gym and ask for help, if you can apply to that job that you're not sure you'll get, then you'll have more experience. Say you don't get the job. Okay, you didn't get it, but what did you learn?

You learned how to apply. I would ask for feedback, right? What can I do better next time? And now you're building up skills in applying for a job, which is his own skill set. But if we think of this quote from Joyce Meyer, and she was quoting a friend of hers in a conversation in one of her episodes, well, why don't you just do it afraid? Some folks are too afraid to leave the house to drive to really talk to folks. And that takes work, right? And I talked about professional help. And that's true. But if you think about, or when I think about, well, why don't I just do it afraid? I go, yeah, why don't I? It takes away

some of the excuses for me, and maybe for you or some folks that you know, to just do it afraid, take some breaths, get that heartbeat under control a little bit, right? Believe in yourself and do it. And I get it. It's not that easy. Sometimes the, the, the bad calls, the patients I've taken care of, right? They float around in my head.

I'm sure some like you all as well, or, and I'm not one to say, just get over it, just push past it. But we can consider, and I think it is helpful to consider, let's do it afraid, even though we're afraid, and give ourselves that confidence or get tools to kind of bridge more confidence. I've talked about the dare response, right of diffusing, like, Oh, cool, I feel anxious, accepting it. All right, I'm going to use that anxiety, I'm going to redirect it as energy. Nervous energy is kind of like excited pre-exercise, pre-sports match, pre-meeting energy. And then I'm going to engage in an activity. On KevTalksPod.com, if you look up anxiety in the search thing at the bottom of the page, it'll bring up the day response episode I did, the steps. Also, my interview with Dr. Tracy Marks, who wrote the book, Why Am I So Anxious?

So another great resource. And I would highly recommend looking up Joyce Meyer on Apple Podcasts. That's where I listen to mostly your Spotify. I listen to the radio version of her talks and they're in like 15 minute snippets. You don't have to be of any religion, let alone Christian, which she is, to get something out of them. They're very, like alone Christian, which she is, to get something out of them. They're very, like I say, very practical. And so I highly recommend it. But she's a great resource as well.

This next one is probably one of the most influential, not just sayings, really, but sentiments and people on my life in the past seven years. And that's Jocko Willink. And while I love and embrace the extreme ownership mindset, the dichotomy of leadership, my favorite book of his is actually the Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual, in which he says, there is no shortcut, there is no hack, there's only one way, so get after it. It's that simple. And he's a brilliant dude, English major, Navy SEAL, 20 plus years, right? But in just that simple statement, it tells us everything we need to know, because folks are looking for the shortcut, they want the life hack. They want some other way than putting the work in. And I say this

in seeing, you know, from from my career, different folks, and I'm sure you all have two that want to shortcut things that want to just cut to the head of line. And I've seen it again, I mentioned the Reddit boards, and I'm active there on the project management and PM careers and some other places where folks, you know, will post and say, how do I start making six figures in a year? How do I become a superstar? And the answer every time for me is, first, get a job, do really good in the job, promote in the job, and then you'll get more money, right? There's no way unless you start your own company and you happen to, you know, hit it big or I don't know, somebody in a friend or family owns the company and they happen to

hire you to pay you. You got to earn your way. Plus when you earn your way, when you don't take shortcuts, you learn how to get there. So when you are a leader, you can help bring your teams up. When you're not hacking, you get better skills. I don't mean computer hacking. I mean just taking shortcuts and, you know, trying life hacks or work hacks or whatever. The only way really is to get after it and institute that discipline. That's at work. That's 100% in fitness, right? Pushups won't do themselves.

Nobody's going to do a burpee for you. No one's going to raise your VO2 max to see how well your cardiovascular system works or not. You have to do that. And even if you're on some sort of performance enhancing drugs, you still got to put the work in, right? And so that is so true. And then your mental health, right's there's no getting around processing emotions and trauma and mindfulness you have to put the time in and make time and to say that there isn't time is an excuse and and another quote from Jocko all your excuses are lies the reality of that statement hits home I have it on a flag in my garage gym and this is an area where social media is a friend

to all of us. It exposes our excuses. When I see someone with cerebral palsy, they just run a marathon. Someone with one leg that's cleaning and pressing more weight than I can do. And I think, oh, I'm too tired. Well, it's a bullshit excuse, right? It just is. Why am I tired? Did I stay up too late? Did I not hydrate? Did I not do something? So just remember, in all aspects of your life, there is no shortcut. There is no hack. There's only one way. So get after it. This last quote I've mentioned on here before, I mentioned it probably to anybody that talks about being at a hard time and not feeling like they can make it, whether it's literally like they can't go another day alive, or they're having a a hard time and not feeling like they can make it. Whether it's literally, like they can't go another day alive. Or they're having a really hard time at work.

Or in the gym or on the mats or whatever. And it's from Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. But Frankl is actually quoting Friedrich Nietzsche. And he says, those who have a why to live can bear with almost any how. That is the most impactful statement I've ever read, I've ever tried to live up to. When I've treated patients at the end of their life, whether it was from age, injury, cancer, disease, or on the street, and for some of those folks, you think there's no way this person's going to live, and we're the ones there trying to save

them. And then they do. You have the ICU patient that's just has sepsis and and all these drains and all these fluids and you're doing everything for them everything you can imagine a person can't do because they're laying there unconscious and then you know a year and a half later they walk in with a walker and they thank you their why was power and in victor frankl's case, he was in a Nazi concentration camp. In fact, four of them, his family was killed. His why was keep going. His faith, right? His wanting to get his message out.

And he did it. And so when I think, you know, it's cold outside, I think of this quote, and then I think of Viktor Frankl and the other folks in the Holocaust that were outside in the winter with shoes with holes in them with no winter clothing. Or I think about our soldiers right in North Korea freezing or any other ethnicity or culture anywhere across the world where they're getting by walking miles and miles to get water and the waters might not even be that clean. Just think about their why to live and they're figuring out the how. So when you or I, not preaching at you, think, man, it's too cold. And I've done this before, right? I've skipped workouts or not gone to jujitsu or maybe not as well as I could in the meeting. And that's my fault. And that's part of the owning it, right? That extreme ownership. But

if we have that why, and sometimes the why is hard to find. Some people are at the point where they're like, I don't have a why. No one cares about me. It's too hard. I've tried and failed. But every person can make an impact on the world in some instance, right? And I hope this podcast is making a bit of an impact either on you or folks that you know, and that you share it with others. Like these quotes have for me from Johan Hari, from James Gearing, from Joyce Meyer, from Jocko Willink, from Viktor Frankl, and there's many other folks, and maybe I'll share some more later in the year with other impactful people. But read, listen, soak in the positive, shut out all the bull crap on social media and

in your life, if you have that coming at you in person. And give yourself a dose of reality and use it in 2023. There's still plenty of year left, plenty of life left. Use Easter as a rebirth, like some folks do, right, for New Year's. Thank you so much for being here. Remember to have a plan. Use this information, right?

Put your plan together. Keep your teams together and inform to one plan. Use that solid information, verified, not rumors and fear. Use facts and get involved so you can make a difference. You can do something in this world. You are doing something in this world. You're listening. I appreciate it. You're there for other folks. Godspeed, y'all.