The Peter Attia Drive - #01 - Tim Ferriss: depression, psychedelics, and emotional resilience
Episode Date: July 2, 2018Excited to kick off the podcast with special guest and close friend Tim Ferriss, lifehacker, podcaster extraordinaire, and author of multiple best-selling books that includes The 4-Hour Workweek, The ...4-Hour Body, Tools of Titans, and Tribe of Mentors. In this podcast we cover mental health, depression, and our mutual interest in psychedelics as potential therapeutic agents. Tim talks both experientially and from his own deep dive into the literature of psychedelics and mental health. Tim is shifting his focus from investing in startups to funding experiments that he hopes will establish more reliable knowledge and therapeutic options for those suffering from anxiety, depression, and addiction. Tim also shared his list of acquired wisdom he returns to most reliably, which might be worth the price of admission alone.  We discuss: Tim’s history of depression and his TED Talk on his close call with suicide [11:15]; The type of thinking that triggers Tim’s downward spirals [17:15]; Tim’s transformative experience with ayahuasca [48:45]; How Tim’s experience and research has led him to focus on furthering the science on psychedelics and mental health [53:00]; What some of the meditation modalities, and meditation apps, are out there, why meditation can be so hard to do, but also worthwhile to stick with [1:13:00]; Why Tim made a big commitment (more than $1 million) to funding scientific research, and to psilocybin and MDMA research, in particular [1:31:00]; From all the habits and tools that Tim has learned, the five things that he returns to most reliably [2:33:00]; And more. Learn more at www.PeterAttiaMD.com Connect with Peter on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
Transcript
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Hey everyone, welcome to the Peter Atia Drive. I'm your host, Peter Atia.
The drive is a result of my hunger for optimizing performance, health, longevity, critical thinking,
along with a few other obsessions I've gathered along the way.
I've spent the last several years working with some of the most successful top performing
individuals in the world, and this podcast is my attempt to synthesize what I've learned along the way to help you
live a higher quality, more fulfilling life.
If you enjoy this podcast, you can find more information on today's episode and other
topics at peteratia-md.com.
Welcome to episode one of the Peterity of Drive. I can think of no better person to begin this podcast with than my very dear friend Tim
Ferris.
Not only is Tim a really close friend, but he's also almost single-handedly the reason this
podcast is coming into existence.
In other words, if you hate it, you can blame Tim.
Tim has been kind of on my case for about two years
to do this and more than anything else,
he's just really helped me think about how I can
sort of put something together that allows me
to create something that is sort of new
and that isn't already out there in terms of content,
but also is something that I'll find enjoyable to do
and that hopefully will come across
as this podcast gets underway. I'm guessing most people listening to this know a lot about Tim but on the off chance
that there are some who don't, I think it's just worth kind of giving a little bit of background
on Tim.
He's been described as a quote, a cross between Jack Welch and a Buddhist monk by the New
York Times.
He's one of fast companies, most innovative business people.
He's an early stage tech investor and advisor.
And that includes a number of companies that most people have heard of such as Uber, Facebook,
Twitter, Spotify, Alibaba, and least 50 others.
He's also the author of five number one, New York Times best sellers and Wall Street
journal best sellers, the four hour work week, the four hour body, the four hour chef, tools
of Titans, also known as biggest tools.
That's an inside joke in reference to the podcast
and tribe of mentors. The observer and other media outlets have described him as the opera of audio
due to the influence of his podcast, the Tim Ferriss show, which has about 300 million downloads
at the time of this recording. It's also been selected as the best of iTunes for three years
running. Now, I want to say something about this episode
that will become apparent, obviously,
once we get started.
One, we talk a lot about things that are topics that Tim and I
don't really spend a lot of time discussing publicly
and certainly personally.
And so it's important to understand here that while Tim and I
do talk quite openly about psychedelic experiences,
we've shared in South America, it shouldn't be taken to mean
that that's what we are recommending that anybody go out and do.
We're absolutely not doing that.
There are physical, there are psychological, and there are legal risks among these things.
And it's important to remember that in the United States, at the time of this recording,
psychedelics like psilocybin, which we speak about quite a bit, along with mescaline and
things that we don't get into much detail around such as ayahuasca, these are currently
schedule one, which means that they are illegal.
While we believe, obviously, that designation is completely unwarranted and will likely,
you know, eventually no longer be the case when the scientific community has a chance
to catch up and understand the great potential of these things.
Really the purpose of this podcast is informational only and well.
I do generally provide a disclaimer at the end of my podcast that explains that all of this podcast is informational only. And while I do generally provide a disclaimer
at the end of my podcast that explains
that all of this information is informational,
I want to be really clear about this particular issue.
We talk a lot about these things.
We talk about a few other things as well.
And I think even for the listener who doesn't find this topic
to be particularly interesting, one thing
that we talk about at the very end of the podcast
that I've been meaning to ask Tim for a while and certainly I get asked a lot is
what are the things that you still
Incorporate in your daily routine Tim has written so eloquently about this stuff and has codified so many ways to
Find these minimum effective doses and to optimize everything he's doing that I think people wonder hey
Which are the things that have really stood the test of time?
And so I actually found that last part of the podcast to be especially interesting, even
for me, though I knew these things and I can see all the things that Tim does day in and
day out, but this sort of have him say, look, if I had to pick five, these would be the
five.
Tim can be found all over the place, but I think the best places to see him are on his blog,
which is Tim.blog.
You can follow him at T Ferris,
that's F-E-R-R-I-S-S on Twitter,
and you find him at Tim Ferris on Facebook and Instagram.
I hope you enjoy this first episode,
half as much as I enjoyed recording it, and there will be lots more of these to follow so with all of that said, please welcome Tim Ferriss
Hey Tim Peter. Thank you for having me out in Austin this weekend. My pleasure. It's been a good weekend
Good view too. Yeah, what I can't believe is in the relatively short period of time you have lived here
You've become essentially the unofficial mayor of Austin
I
Like to get involved and to explore all the various nooks and crannies of any city that I live in and after 17 years in the Bay area
I felt like I'd left almost no stone unturned.
I have many dear friends who are still there, but many of them have traveled
outside and one of the places that was an annual migration was South by
Southwest here in Austin and had wanted to move here right after college, gotten
to know it year by year with increasingly longer stays in the city before and after the festival itself,
and now it's home, couldn't be happier.
I feel like every place we went in the last three days,
everybody knew you like the owner of the restaurant
would know you and the coffee shop, and it was...
I don't think I've drank more coffee and Topo Chico
in a short, a period of time, as I have it last three days. Yes, coffee, Topo Chico in a short period of time.
I have it last three days.
Yes, coffee, Topo Chico.
And so many things here,
a breakfast tacos,
it's something I haven't yet explored.
That's another form of religion here,
right next to barbecue and a bunch of other things.
But it's a cozy feel.
It has a neighborhood feel,
and I've come to value that type of
neighborhood feel and cohesion, which is something I probably wouldn't have paid much attention to 10 years ago.
Yeah, I've sort of always assumed I would live forever in California and I gotta say all your hard work here to get your friends to move out here
It's I think it's gonna pay off.. I think I can see Austin in my future.
Yeah, I have a lot of friends who are moving. I think in many respects, it's defined by
the fact that it's difficult to categorize. There is no one mono conversation about tech
or entertainment or finance.
And some people might view that as a weakness,
meaning if you're looking to live in the epicenter
of a certain industry and you're in your early 20s
and want to cut your teeth and live that hyper-canetic,
super-aggressive lifestyle while you're building your foundation
for the future, that's one thing.
But in my case, I'm much more so in placing value on the general friendliness, the cultural
diversity, which is not just skin deep.
It covers so many different bases here.
And I enjoy the fact that you can go from a strict vegan restaurant to a deer processing
plant to an electric scooter, start-up office to a cowboy boot store all in the stretch of
a few blocks.
That's exciting to me.
And though I've never really bought the argument that people in New York and Southern
California, which are the two places I spend most of my time are, you know, I've never brought the argument that those are snotty, super snotty places
in nobody's nice, because I do think that people are actually pretty decent everywhere, including
in the middle of Manhattan, but that said, it's a different level of nice here that is completely
foreign to me. Yeah, it is. I remember when I first moved to Austin and I had a number of neighbors drop
off cards or come to the door to ring the bell to ask if I want to come over for dinner.
And I didn't even know how to respond, which really, you know, like, what are they
selling?
Hold me more about myself that I was so mistrusting, perhaps, but in San Francisco, that
does not happen as far as I know.
I've never heard of that happening.
Certainly in New York, it would be a time to check your security system and consider your
avenues of getting out of the house, but here that's just par for the course, and it's
really been nice to embrace that.
And even within Texas, Austin is known for being very, very friendly.
And I've met many different people here who've moved from Houston and other parts, which
are also fantastic in their own way because of the general level of friendliness.
So I'm a fan.
I'm a fan, you know, I always thought I would be, felt the gravitational pull here when
I graduated and did not the gravitational pull here when I graduated
and did not get the job here that I was so coveted
at trilogy.
And it turned out being a blessing to Skies
that I didn't get the job.
And I think also for trilogy,
because I most likely would have been a terrible employee.
But that took me to Newarkow, had a great stint there, but that chapter came to a close, and it was just the right time.
Well, as I said, it's been amazing to be here, not my first time here,
but each time I come, I like it more and more.
I guess with that said, we are kicking off effectively the first episode of a podcast
that you, more than any other friend, although several friends have played an enormous role
in the so-called cajoling as I referred to it earlier,
in making this happen.
So, if this ends up sucking...
I'll take all the blame.
I'm blaming you.
And if this ends up doing okay, I'm thanking you.
But either way, I think this will be fun.
I think my customary 30% is very reasonable.
30% of water, right?
Yeah.
Now, obviously this podcast is on some level,
and probably on a large level,
going to come down to things that I think a lot about
and hope to bring to people.
You asked me the other day,
what am I hoping to accomplish with this?
And I don't have a great elevator pitch on it,
but one of the things is I find myself so often
having conversations with people that I think,
God, this person's so much smarter than me
and knows so much more than me.
And they're letting me be a sponge right now
and absorb so much information from them.
And so many times I find myself
at the end of those discussions thinking,
I can't believe nobody else got to hear that.
What if I didn't extract everything from that correctly?
What if there was more to be gathered? And so it's really that desire to have as many of these conversations
as possible and be able to sort of share them in their natural state that I think is a
large part of this motivation. And while most people sort of associate me, I suspect, with
thinking about longevity, we probably don't spend enough time talking about what longevity
means. But the way I talk about it with my patients is it's both enhancing lifespan, but also
a health span.
And lifespan is the easier of those two to understand because enhancing lifespan just
means not dying, which is not to say that that's easy, but it's conceptually easy.
I think the health span stuff is harder to understand.
And as I have come to learn in the past three or four years,
I believe for most people, it actually matters more.
Many people think, you know, if you helping me
doesn't add one day to the length of my life,
but improves the quality of my life,
especially at the end, that would be sufficient.
And so in many ways, what I wanna talk about today
is one piece of health span that I know the least
about by far, but also I think is the
one that we are least likely to talk about as a society, which is sort of mental health.
Now you've spoken really publicly about your interest in that.
I knew a lot of this before you talked about it at TED, but can you tell me a little bit
about that?
Again, and I'm thrilled you're doing a podcast because I do think that just as as a bit of overlay on what you said
There is so much focus on extending lifespan rightly so but the
Equal obsession equal level of obsession that you bring to performance and health span. I think
creates a compelling combination that I don't find in many places.
I find the combination of those interests are common, but the combination of competencies,
broadly speaking, in both of those domains, is very uncommon.
So I'm excited to listen to other episodes of the podcast.
And as a release to mental health,
of the podcast. And as it relates to mental health, I should as maybe a introductory preamble say that this is not a topic I've always been comfortable talking about publicly. And
in fact, I would say for the vast majority of my adolescence and certainly throughout
high school and college, I somehow came to
the conclusion that I was just not designed to be happy, that evolution did not optimize
for happiness and I just did not have the code for happy and that was okay, that I would
be an instrument of competition. I would learn to be good at various things
that were valued at colleges and then by the business worlds
and so on and that it was,
it was not worth trying to be happy or to not just love myself,
trying to be happy or to not just love myself, but really have a high opinion of myself, and in fact that was self-indulgent, and that I would just focus on being the best competitor
possible, and hopefully turning that into something that was not only of value to me, or that
I was rewarded for, but that would help other people, and that perhaps I would find some joy
in the joy of other people, but that was the extent of it.
And suffered from many different bouts of extended depression
for as long as I can recall, really.
And that is also something that you can spot
very easily looking back at my family history on both sides.
And if you look back to grandparents and great great grandparents, a fair amount of alcohol
consumption, certainly a fair amount of alcoholism, I thankfully have not soothed myself with
excessive amounts of alcohol.
But you see a lot of patterns that scared me certainly, but the depression was one that
I could just not seemingly navigate around.
And the TED Talk opened with a particularly close call, the closest call I've ever had.
This is not a common experience for me, but in college where I can very, very close to
kill myself and actually got to the planning stages, it wasn't just rumination about what if I wonder what it would be like
take my life. No, it would, it was a decision that had been made and I was already in the
planning stages and to give people the short punchline to that, which explains why I'm
here today. I had reserved a book, which was going to be the last of many that I had read on this subject related to suicide.
It was already checked out of the Firestone Library, Princeton, whereas at the time, taking a year away from.
And it was checked out to some other poor student.
So I put in a request to be notified when it came back into the library, but I forgot to update my address
at the Registrar's office, and the address that I had on file
after taking this leave of absence was my home address
in New York where my parents lived.
And so my mom got this postcard, which was,
dear Tim Ferris, this is to notify you that, and then whatever it was, you know,
the final solution that it had, whatever it might have been, the how to kill yourself
manual has arrived.
Please come to claim your book within the next X number of weeks, or it'll be released
to the next person who has it on reservation.
Whatever the postcard said, and I got this very heartfelt, understandably nervous call from my mom with her
voice cracking, asking about it. And I lied. I said it was I was very fast on my
feet. And I said it was for a friend at Rutgers who wasn't able to get the
book for dissertation or thesis. He was working on. So I reserved it for him.
Know everything's fine. But in that moment, after that call, I realized how these, in retrospect,
little waves, small events can be blown, or even large events can be blown so out of
proportion or seen as permanent in such a way that regardless of socioeconomic status,
regardless of race, regardless of gender, people can be so knocked off course that they end up taking their own lives.
And certainly, recently, that's been very dramatically demonstrated and tragically
demonstrated with the deaths of many people, including Anthony Bourdain,
who comes to mind most recently. And that's just on the high profile side. But in my case, personally, I realized how my blinders and pessimism in this downward
spiral had led me to really only focus on my pain. I didn't realize how until that phone
call committing suicide would have been like taking 10 times the pain that I felt
and imposing it on the people who loved me the most.
And that was a huge wake up call.
So that is why I'm here today is the lucky accident that I did not update my address at the
registrar's office.
If that had not happened, I mean, I was ready to pull the
trigger so to speak, although that wasn't how I was going to go, but it was all spec'd out. It's
terrifying to think of, really, really terrifying to think of, and I have some of my best friends
in high school who you never would have suspected from the outside looking in, killed themselves, college, same story.
I just know so many people who have taken their own lives and it always came as a
shock to people, at least to knew them in school, for instance.
They seem to have it all together.
They seem to have the good relationship or the good job or the good grades or
whatever it might be, the good family.
And that's led me in the last few years, in particular to it, the very least want to
focus on discussing mental health, different facets of mental health from an experiential
firsthand basis, simply to tell people if assuming I don't have any type of ready answer for them, you're not alone.
This is exceptionally, exceptionally common, but it's the dirty little secret that so many people
carry around and are unwilling to discuss. And so at the very least, I want to say you're not alone.
There are millions upon millions of people fighting similar battles, and everyone you meet
is fighting some inner battle you know nothing about.
So do not assume that you are alone.
And I think in that, hopefully people can find some solace, and then beyond that, I've
spent the last few years really investigating using the contacts and network that I've developed through the books
and the podcast and the tech investing to explore avenues and potential treatments or interventions
that can certainly help people who are on the brink get back to stability potentially,
but also to take people who might view themselves as stable or normal and
to
mitigate against the potential
of losing their footing and
Then there are we can go beyond that certainly, but
That is the might interest in this certainly began on a very personal level. How do I?
Is it possible? I should say?
Forget about how, is it possible for me to manage this?
And the type of thinking that triggers the most dangerous
downward spirals is, what's the point?
If I'm constantly going to default to this negative thinking,
and I'm so blessed for A, B, and C reasons. What's the point?
And that is a really, really poisonous, toxic mental landscape to immerse yourself into it and
get caught in. So is it possible for me to somehow decrease the frequency of those types of episodes. Is it possible somehow to decrease the severity of those episodes?
Is it possible to look at my quirky biochemistry, my software in a way that I see some blessings
within my day-to-day month-to-month experience that in some way counteract the tendency
to view myself so harshly when the inevitable
dips come.
Long answer to a short question, but that's really been particularly in the last, I would
say, two years, three, mostly starting about five years ago, but in the last two or three,
really diverting a lot of my attention that was going to start
up investing, a lot of my resources that were going to start up investing to areas that
are related to this.
And there's so much of that stuff I can't wait to talk about today because you've brought
a lot of people along on this ride with you.
So obviously I can only speak from my own personal experience, but we have so many mutual
friends who have also been heavily influenced by sort of a sense of awareness that you've brought to us with respect to all of these things but also
potential solution spaces that are outside of our realm of thinking. You know, you said something at the outset which was
You just thought you weren't wired to be happy which I I mean I can resonate with that completely
I remember as a child my mom would always say to me, you know Peter
Do you just not want to be happy?
And I would look at her like,
I don't know what kind of dumb question that is.
Like, it's not an option.
Like, you might as well be asking me
if I want to be 12 feet tall.
Like, I have some say in the matter.
It's not about wanting to be happy.
It's just about metaphysically not being able to be happy.
And then furthermore, my thought, which was even a bit more
obscure or maybe bizarre was happiness was a bad thing because you would stop being hungry.
Makes you complacent. Yes. So right along with self-indulgence, there was that.
Yeah. It was like, mom, if I was happy, I wouldn't get up at 430 in the morning and run harder and
faster than anybody else. And of course, I didn't have the, I don't think I had the mental framework to probe that idea further,
which is what are you proving, who are you proving it to,
why do you feel the need to do all of these things?
But it wasn't until quite recently that I even began to entertain the idea
that being happy is not a bad thing.
We'll put another way that it's a good thing.
Yeah.
The double negative.
Yeah, right.
Right. Just to touch on a few things you just mentioned, I think, are really important.
The self-talk, Jim Lair, who is a performance coach who has worked with many, many of the
most famous tennis players and other athletes in the world.
I had a chance to spend time with him for my last book and then also for some tennis
training in Florida.
And he's spent time with one of my very close friends, Josh Wateskin as well, who's
best known for being the basis for searching for Bobby Fisher for those people are familiar.
And he talks a lot about the inner voice, the most important coach and voice you ever
hear is your inner voice. So I've learned to pay
increasing attention to the words I use, particularly when I'm ruminating, referring to myself,
talking to myself, making a note to self. That's a long story inside you guys, another time. And
inside joke guys, another time. And I found myself using perhaps very unsurprisingly
similar language to yourself.
If I were happy, I wouldn't be doing the things that
are very clearly contributing to my success, whatever that
means.
And not only that, but on every possible level,
if I were to find joy in too many moments,
or to not feel deficient or inadequate,
or loath, loath-worthy, which is honestly how I felt
for the majority of my life.
No, I don't just not love myself.
Like there's a deep sense of,
well, I hate to use the word hate,
but it's the right word, like, loathing.
Like, how could you be so stupid?
How could you be so lazy?
How could you be so film the blank?
Tough in the fuck up.
And you may not have control over all things,
but you know what, you can get really, really good at doing
is absorbing pain.
Like, get really good at absorbing pain.
It's like, okay, if you
work hard and have a high pain tolerance, maybe you can win. Maybe you can be successful.
And I should put win and successful in quotation marks because they're so seldom well defined
by people who use this type of language, including myself for decades. But what I've come to
realize, and this is also a, I think, a common concern among type A personalities who consider or are told by people they respect that they should take a stab at meditation for a period of time.
There is this highly prevalent, almost universal concern among type A personalities by which I just mean driven. Like hard charging, head through walls, I can take the pain,
fuck it, I'm just gonna grit my teeth and white knuckle through anything that comes my way. Which,
hey, let's face it, that serves people very well up to a point in certain ways.
They worry about losing their edge.
This is the exact wording that I hear so often in the exact wording that I use with
my friends when they first recommended a few of them. Rick Rubin and Chase Jarvis, very
specifically Rick Rubin, legendary music producer, although that doesn't, it's not even a drop
in the ocean of what Rick does and who Rick is. But Rick Rubin and Chase, very, very famous photographer,
also the CEO of a company called Creative Live, which is an incredible company in and of itself.
Both of them recommended meditation to me, and I resisted for more than a year I want to say, because I was afraid of losing my edge.
Even though what I came to realize was, if you want to use your edge indiscriminately, like a kitchen knife, which is only a blade
front, like the handle is also bladed on both sides, you can continue doing what you're
doing.
If on the other hand, you want to put a nice ergonomic handle on that beautifully honed
blade so that you can use it as an instrument for its highest purposes, you can utilize different tools, meditation being one
of them, and we could talk about all the different types of meditation as well, because I think
they do have slightly different applications.
Is a tool in the toolkit that allows you to build this beautiful kitchen knife instead
of holding onto the blade itself, just bleeding over and over again,
scabbing, bleeding, scabbing, bleeding,
which is I think day to day how many driven people
experience life, whether they are financially stable
or not, if they are compulsively active,
if they are using the distraction of constant motion
and absorbing pain and seeking pain to numb themselves so that they don't have to be in their own head any longer than possible, which is what I did for a fucking long time, pardon my French, but I mean decades. develop other skills that allow them to and I've certainly less less than seeking happiness I have been looking for ways to both develop in myself and help others
to develop a sense of peace even if it's 10 minutes a day. That does nothing
nothing negative in my book other than magnify your strengths and allow you to
maybe for the first time see some of your weaknesses that are very often self-imposed.
And the blind spots that have been like an invisible hand guiding your life for in some
cases decades.
I see no, I really see no downside to that. And since I've had two
cappuccinos and I guess have some extra personality, I'll further extend my long-ass answer by saying,
my books very clearly track my priorities in some respects. You have the four hour
work week which looked at different types of currencies,
time being the most valuable non-renewable of those, and how to address a few rungs on Maslow's
higher give needs. And as I've moved along and suffered my own burnout of different types, not necessarily financially related,
but certainly for our chef took me out for the count.
I bit off more than I could chew in part because I was having some personal difficulties
and some relationships and I wanted to numb myself.
I went back to that numbing behavior, which included taking stimulants, which included
overcaffeinating, in addition to the pills and so on, using
alcohol at night to wind down, engaging in exercise that was far more painful and ridiculously
punishing than it had to be for any type of health or performance purpose.
And I crashed and burned.
And that led to the podcast is a way to take a break
from book writing, which led to the explorations
and talking to people like Brunei Brown,
talking to people like Tara Brock,
talking to people like Jack Cornfield,
and many, many others that then led to say,
tribal mentors or tools of Titans,
then tribal mentors, and where I am now,
where I look at this
mesoes hierarchy of needs and realize, at least for myself, let's say you cover your
food, you cover your shelter, you cover it, and you get up to these rungs on the
ladder where you've checked off success. You are blessed. You are hopefully healthy. Your family might be healthy.
And you can meet all of your basic needs. You probably have some
disposable income and yet you have trouble living with yourself. That's a
fucking tragedy. I mean it's it's to have deciphered how to achieve and yet not be able to appreciate is just the
tragedy of tragedies.
It's this kind of fools errand that could have taken five years, could have taken ten,
could have taken twenty.
And then you see people like that who do not know which way to turn and then perhaps just withdraw into
a shell and you know, sit at a table with their family and look at their phone for the
entire dinner over and over and over again because they don't know how to emotionally engage
with themselves, let alone other people.
Or you see the more dramatic cases where they're like, all right, I thought these things would
make me happy.
I was told these things were the necessary ingredients
for eventually solving this emotional Rubik's cube
that I've been struggling with my whole life
where I assumed that poof one day I would just wake up
and have made it.
Even if having made it just means you're not struggling
with alcoholism and rant like your parents did
or something like that.
And I've come to realize you don't need to and you should not wait until you think you
have all of the other pieces, non-emotional, non-psychological pieces that puzzle together
to start working on self-acceptance among other things.
And untying some of those Gordian knots that you have that you might have carried for
Decades since your childhood and
That it is not esoteric. It is not intangible when you start to address some of those things
it makes everything more effortless it makes everything more rewarding and
That I think is a project worth tackling. It's a lot, but that's, yeah, this depression, I think, particularly among men who are very,
very, very bad generally. And I'm just going to paint with a broad brush because that makes this
type of conversation a little easier. But broadly speaking, cross across cultures, it really doesn't matter where you go.
Women are generally better at social cohesion and building groups of friends who are mutually
supportive.
And we can look at it through an evolutionary lens, but men very often are biologically, culturally, who knows,
fill in the blank, trained, and maybe born to just bite their lip and suffer in silence.
And I do think there are certain places for that.
Look, if you're going to be a Navy SEAL commander, waking up every morning and telling your
direct reports about your really hard dream you had, probably not strategically, tactically,
professionally or ethically, the right thing to do when you have to go out and then risk your lives
doing things that are mission-critical to fill in the blank, right? So there is a time for that,
but to make that your one coping mechanism for navigating life, or like the sort of the mesh
that is imposed on everything else that you suffer in silence and that the the mesh that is imposed on everything
else that you suffer in silence
and that the solution to that is just to get tougher,
to get better at accepting pain,
to use cheesy tech parlance, doesn't scale.
It just doesn't scale.
You know, when I was on your podcast, the first time,
which I don't know how long ago that was,
it feels like it's probably been three or four years ago,
one of the questions I remember you asked me, which of course you asked
many of your guests, is what book have you gifted more than any other? And I remember the book,
I mentioned at the time it was and remains a great book, but I now have to update that answer.
What wasn't just for people who were curious? It was mistakes were made, but not by me, which is
just an amazing book on the psychology of cognitive dissonance.
But of course, that now has been surpassed.
There is now a new book that is my most gifted book
and amazingly, I can't believe I didn't bring a copy
to Austin to give you, because I now,
I probably, I think I just buy Amazon out of this book.
Like I just have stacks of it all over,
like you have stacks of certain books in your place.
And this book is called, I don't wanna talk about it
by Terence Reel, who I've since reading the book
and becoming obsessed with.
Actually, it comes back to you.
You introduced me to Esther Perel.
Esther recommended the book.
The book was one of a series of little nudges
that ultimately led to me meeting Terry.
And of course, that book has now been the book I have given most.
But what she said is spot on, which is there is just this epidemic of male depression.
And it's not always overt. That's the thing, right? People have this image of what depression is.
But you know, like a guy who's constantly angry or emotionally volatile, he can be quite depressed.
So depression isn't always dysthymia. And I think that's where people miss this idea of how much pain people, both
men and women, carry around, but how men have this more orthogonal way of displaying it that
makes it get masked longer and longer. And I want to go back to something you said earlier,
because it really hit home
about a year ago when a mutual friend of ours, Paul Conti, made this point to me, which
was the way you treat yourself is ultimately how you will treat those you love most. And
when he really pushed me to think about that, which is, do you want to be the guy who treats
his kids the way you treat yourself? And I had to be put that way for me to think, no, I mean if I'm
going to be brutally honest, I would not want to watch my kids get treated by
another human the way I treat myself, even though I think it's good for me to
treat myself this way. So again, I think the challenge is, by far, the hardest part is getting people to accept
that maybe what they're doing isn't the right thing.
Or isn't it maybe rights the wrong word?
It's not the best thing, it's not the optimal thing.
I love your analogy of taking the best blade in the world and not having a handle on it.
I mean, it's a limited tool.
Yeah. a limited tool. And there are, so I would say just to maybe put a fine point on it, going
through life merely tolerating yourself, which would have been a dream for me. I mean,
I actively loathed myself in any weakness, any mistake, any FOIABLE, any FLOWS, I was in and still at times, I'm
so incredibly violently critical in my own head that it is not the treatment I would wish
on anyone I care about. That is not a state you have to accept. It is not programming that you have to accept,
and there are ways to begin to chip away at that,
and to rewire it, and to reformat in a sense.
Certain behaviors that you've experienced for so long,
many of them are thought patterns, self-talk, that you've come to
believe they're completely unchangeable. And in my experience, and more and more, the experience of
dozens and hundreds of that and thousands of other people, I've observed in the last five years,
that is patent, it is patently untrue that you have to accept that. And I think what you said is really, really important to digest and
ponder. And that is how you treat yourself is how you are going to treat the people you care
most about. And I think it was actually glorious, Steinemann, that I don't know if this is accurate,
but somebody on the internet, I'm sure will fact check this, who said, in
effect, I'm paraphrasing here, but the goal, you have to remember that the golden rule
goes both ways. So we all know, do one to others, as you would have them do one to you.
If you flip that around, it is, do one to yourself, as you would do one to others. And that is really has very profound and wide-ranging implications.
And when you really sit with it for a minute, and it's
spice to say though, you do not have to accept the inner voice or
the patterns that have led you to pursue success with rare glimpses of any type of
interpiece. That is not something you have to accept.
So, one of the most sort of profound experiences I've had and sets of
experiences I've had in the past few years, our experiences we've shared
together around certain plants, that honestly I was completely unaware of an
ignorant of for most of my life,
had never really given them any thought, and probably much of the stuff that you've talked about,
written about in the past, in particular, there were two podcasts that you did.
One was with Martin and then I'm trying to think of the other one.
Parteen, Palanco, and Dan Engel.
Dan Engel, that was the other one, yeah.
And those were two separate podcasts, but they were very close together,
if I recall, a couple of months.
They were a few together and then a few apart.
So you had James Fatiman and then Dan Engel
and Martin together.
That's right.
And then later Michael Pollan.
Yeah, but that first wave was probably 2015-ish.
Yeah, it was a few, it was a few years ago.
That was the thin end of the wedge.
And interestingly, the thin end of the wedge for me
was around something that wasn't a personal issue,
but more of a societal issue, which is I was blown away
by the discussion and the clinical results
that they were achieving in Mexico using a plant called IboGA
and using Ibogan as
well to treat patients who were opiate addicted.
And that's something that even back when I was sort of in my residency and you would see
in a city like Baltimore what the effects of heroin addiction are.
And of course today it's even a much bigger issue and it's spread far beyond just heroin.
So that just interested me purely for an intellectual
standpoint, which is, wait a minute,
we have a drug or set of drugs that are so categorically
addictive to so many for which our only treatments
are at best useless.
And there's this other thing that admittedly comes
with plenty of risk and plenty of unknowns.
But it seems to fundamentally change the way a person's brain is wired,
which would seem to address the root issue as opposed to the band-aid.
That led, of course, to me wanting to understand more about those entire classes of compounds.
And that led to my very first experience with them,
which I shared with you, meaning which, you know,
you helped me through, which to this day remains
one of the most profound things I've ever done.
And if anybody's listening to this who's thinking,
what are they talking about?
What are these psychedelic agents?
Aren't those drugs, you know, all these things?
One of the most remarkable things I remember
after the first time I tried psilocybin was, I don't feel like doing that again anytime soon.
Like, these are the most anti-addictive compounds on the planet. What started your interest
into that space? The interest began, and for those people listening who are wondering
if we'll discuss any other tools, I think we should also discuss some other options on the table. Aside from this, although
this is very fertile ground for discussion. So we can talk about meditation and some other
tools and books and so on later. But my interest in psychedelics began long ago with a close friend who introduced me to Silsaibin, contained in what
is commonly called magic mushrooms, must have been in college, midpoint, perhaps in college,
and it became an annual ritual.
And once a year, I would meet up with a few of my closest friends
and we would consume mushrooms.
In retrospect, it was a very haphazard.
We were not measuring any doses.
We just have a big bag of mushrooms and split it up
and then hope for the best, which is not ideally
how you go about things.
And nonetheless, despite the lack of controls, and I
do not recommend anyone use these compounds under uncontrolled circumstances, I
experienced what I began to refer to as a reboot. And I would have this anxiety
and depression plaguing me. I would go very, very deep and looking back now, I was almost certainly consuming minimum
of five grams.
I'm sure I was consuming quite a high dose of mushrooms, which is for those people who
might read the writing or listen to some of the presentations of someone named Terence
McKenna, five grams, is referred to as a heroic dose, and that is a dose sufficient to flatten
even the most resistant ego.
I believe it was the wording that was used.
In any case, I felt this decrease or even complete removal of depression anxiety that
extended far beyond the supposed duration of
effect. Let's just call it five to eight hours. And there would be this afterglow period that
certainly lasted most acutely for a day or two after the experience. And I was going into this
also with none of the best practices that we know of now in terms of preparation, intention-setting,
perhaps some of the preparatory steps you can take and then integration.
There's none of that.
So this was very bare bones, haphazard experimentation with a few friends.
Nonetheless, there were these periods of let's just call it two weeks to two months where I was able to finally see things clearly,
appreciate all of the incredible chance blessings that I experienced in my life,
and make decisions about things I've viewed as serious problems or challenges or opportunities, whether it was
making a decision about academics, making a decision about a relationship to either start a relationship or end a long-standing relationship. These were things I was able to look at very
calmly and make decisions about. And ultimately, after I want to say four or five years of this,
Ultimately, after I want to say four or five years of this, had a very, very, very scary and dangerous experience, which was, again, with no sitters,
in other words, no sober person supervising this. Any number of things can go wrong, and one is,
people can wander around and get themselves into dangerous situations. In my case, I ended up
coming out of my trip, very late at night, walking
on the side of a street with cars whizzing by me. I mean, that could have very easily been
the end. And that scared me enough that I stopped. So never again, too dangerous, and I
stopped. I didn't revisit psychedelics until, let's just call it, let's think about this, 10 to 15 years later.
When a girlfriend at the time who had some very, very, very difficult traumatic experiences as a child
traveled to Peru, which has its own set of very real risks that we can talk about if we would like.
If you are going down explicitly for the purpose of using a psychedelic, most commonly, in this case, Iowaska,
but her experience was strong enough and meaningful enough that she came back and said to me that she wished it for me because it was like 15 years of therapy in two nights.
Now, if anyone knows anything about any of the books I've read in the way that I tend
to view the world, that is a very, very effective sales pitch for Tim.
15 years of therapy in two nights?
Interesting.
And I put that in the back of my mind, did not move ahead with it because of my fear,
which I think was very, it was well-founded.
I had a, what could have been a very, very dangerous experience or fatal experience.
Things had to get much worse for me to finally decide to re-enter that world,
which I did first through a guided psilocybin experience.
I did not wanna go straight to Iwasca,
which I, to this day,
believe is a very, very big gun
and can be very destabilizing.
I didn't wanna go,
I didn't want that to be my reintroduction.
So I did, I had one guided psilocybin experience, which also lacked much in terms of any type of prep integration or post.
So it was effective in the sense that it was like a returning home and it was a familiar feeling that I came out of un-escaped.
I took an absurdly high dose because I didn't know what I had taken before.
So for those people who know anything about it, I began at seven and a half and then did a booster
in nine, which for me is it is such an absurd overkill as to almost defy belief at this point,
which by the way is a counterproductive. Taking too much is counterproductive.
It is not more as better by any stretch of the imagination.
Being strapped to the icebreaker is very rarely what someone needs.
In any case, came out of it, realizing that you could approach this in a safer fashion
with a container, physical, and otherwise
that allowed you to avoid the risk I had
that it scared me off.
Then went into the Ayahuasca experience
about six months, perhaps six months later,
took it very seriously, had people sign
non-disclosure agreements, had someone act as my proxy to try
to vet people in several different countries and ultimately honed in on someone I spent
two nights with.
And it was one of the most disorienting, awe-inspiring experiences of my life without question. The first night I was prepared for all
of the sickness and vomiting and terror that I knew could be part of the
experience and it was blissful. It was an incredible first night. Second night was
without any exaggeration the most painful experience of my life, at one point I experienced
full body seizures, so grandmaw uncontrollable seizures for about, I would estimate, two
and a half hours, end up with rug burns all over my face and hands and feet, and was completely lost. There was no contact, no footing in this reality whatsoever.
And my subjective felt experience was one of being torn apart a thousand times a second,
dying a thousand times a second, only to remanifest and have that repeat in finitum. It was beyond horror. And when
I came out of the experience, or the main roller coaster was coasting to an end after
let's call it six to eight hours, I was partially detached from reality for probably 36 hours, and I had very
fortunately paid someone in advance to babysit me and act as a shaperone for
that extended period. In the off chance that it happened, which ends up being the
case. And the entire time, as soon as I was co-he coherent enough to even think in English, which took a while, I thought,
never again, never again, will I touch anything like this.
And it was only six to eight weeks later.
And I should mention that my intention, I did have an intention this time going in to
the second night specifically, which was to let go of anger towards
myself, towards other people. Very a handful of very specific people. And I swore I would never touch
this stuff again. It was just too scary, too potentially dangerous. I thought there was a real
chance that I could lose my mooring from a sanity perspective and never come back.
And I realized six to eight weeks later, after spending a lot of time with someone I've known forever, who I've had a very contentious, emotionally volatile relationship with,
lots of triggers. Things I thought were beyond repair, meaning couldn't spend more than an hour with this person
without feeling extreme agitation and anger well up in some fashion.
And I had given up on that, changing that long ago.
I realized, let's just call it six weeks after my two nights, that 90% of that was gone with
this person.
And completely gone.
And to this day it has not come back.
And that has repeated itself, or I've seen that in a number of my closest relationships.
The value of that is hard to overemphasize. It's hard to even
put it towards. And it's so far outside any conceptual schema in medicine or therapy
that I've run into. It's hard to convey in a way that makes any sense. Because I've had
so many people ask me, well, how did that happen?
I do not have a good explanation for that.
All I do know is since then, having explored this both on an experiential level, having
spent time in several countries, working with people who are some of the best at what
they do.
I do think I'm very, very good at vetting that. Hopefully people believe that after looking at the books
and the podcasts and so on.
I'm really good at getting a hold of people
who are really, really good.
And I'm very good at vetting.
And having explored this space also
from a scientific standpoint, it just gets more interesting.
It just gets more unbelievable yet at the same time compelling. And some of
the changes I have seen in people are they defy explanation by any conventional means. And
I'll throw out a few examples, but before I throw out the examples, I want to make it really clear that these compounds are not for everyone.
There are contraindications, things can go wrong, and they're not a panesia.
They do not fix everything by any stretch of the imagination, but for certain types of of debilitating conditions, thought patterns, and fear, they are remarkable, really, really
impressive to the point that it is outside of the care and feeding and love of my family
and myself, my closest friends.
It is what I am most focused on, furthering from a scientific standpoint, certainly.
So you and another friend, who is a mutual friend of ours, so it's all this big circle of people we know,
but shared an equally remarkable story with me about a single experience he had had,
in this case, it was so asciven, as opposed to ayahuasca, that also took him to this place of,
you know, incredible emotional pain that led to a change in a belief.
In this case, it was for this individual, it was a belief system around a person who was no longer alive.
So someone they had lost. I will never probably forget my first experience with psilocybin for the same reason.
It's interesting. I didn't know that that experience you described came from your very second time with ayahuasca.
I was familiar with that story because you'd shared it with me before, but hadn't pegged
it to such an early time.
But my first experience with psilocybin, if not for the fact that I had that experience,
I wouldn't know what the hell you were talking about right now because it seems so improbable, implausible, and impossible
that something that occurs over a span of six or eight hours, that is nothing more than
these compounds that come from these plants, could so fundamentally alter the way we interact
with other people.
In my case, it was very similar.
It was a very important person in my life
for whom I'd not had a great relationship in a very long time, because I simply had no
empathy. Now, Michael Pollan has written about this so eloquently, and I wish I could even
half reiterate what he said, because I remember him writing about it going, that's exactly
it, which is, for the first time in your life, or at least for me, I'm not seeing the world through my eyes anymore. And David Foster Wallace has
talked about this so eloquently in his talk, which is one of my favorite talks.
This is water. Every experience we have is through our own eyes. And these
plants give you that ability to be out of that. And I still remember watching myself as a 13 year old boy
in this situation, and for the first time ever not seeing that situation from my vantage point,
instead seeing it from the vantage point of others. And that led to the most profound emotional
breakdown, which again, these are very durable changes.
I mean, I'm a couple of years out of this,
but I truly believe that 40 years from now
I will still have this exact set of feelings
about this particular individual
and this particular experience.
And you're right, there is, how do you explain that?
It's very difficult.
And these compounds, many of the classic psychedelics,
let's just, for the sake of argument,
will leave LSD out of the running for a number of reasons,
including just the political PR baggage
that that acronym carries.
But if we're looking at, say, Mescalin,
which is found in Piodi, it's found in the San Pedro
or Watchuma cactus in South America
among other places.
And we're looking at psilocybin found
in quite a few different mushrooms.
These are compounds that have been used
for hundreds of years, probably millennia
by different civilizations.
And you have Aminita Muscario, which was used in Europe.
You have psychedelics that have been used all over the world.
Psychedelics, referring to, and there are different ways
to try to define this term, but mind manifesting
is what the word refers to if you look at the etymology.
But I would say experientially, one
of the defining characteristics of psychedelics,
and we probably will talk
about, we might have a chance to talk about MDMA later, which is in some way can be used
for many of the same conditions, but I wouldn't consider a psychedelic simply because psychedelics
provide what is often referred to at high enough dosages, ego dissolution
or a controlled death experience,
where you cease to exist as this subject
who is viewing your experience of reality.
That is so powerful that again,
we talk about it with these sort of,
in this sort of banal way,
but until you experience that, that statement
is so difficult to comprehend.
It is.
Imagine if you will, and they're different analogies or metaphors you can use, but imagine
if your whole life, you have been the protagonist, at least in your own mind, you are the primary
actor in the play of your life.
And you've always been the primary actor in the play of your life. There are other actors,
of course, all these people you've ever met. And for the first time, you realize that it's a play
and you're sitting in the audience and you're the playwright. You're the person who has the ability
And you're the playwright. You're the person who has the ability to look at it from every perspective and you can
change the lines of the primary actor, that person known as Tim in my case, that person
known as Peter.
If you want to change their lines, you want to change their backstory, you want to change
the stories they tell themselves, you have the ability to do that because you're sitting
in the audience as an observer of this person who is known as Peter or Tim. And this is similar to the type of experience that
people can have through meditation. And they might describe it as instead of being outside standing
in the storm, you're standing inside looking through the window at the storm, or you are, instead of being inside
the washing machine, you're zooming out 18 inches
so that you're looking into the washing machine
and you're observing what is happening
as opposed to being tumbled by it.
And in fact, the states achieved through psychedelics
and in very experienced meditators,
although I'm convinced that you can achieve this state pretty quickly through meditation.
It doesn't have to take 20 years.
Is remarkably similar as best we know, or there are some similarities, as I should say,
neurophysiologically, in the sense that both seem to not necessarily deactivate, but
decrease activity in something referred to as the default mode network.
And this default mode network,
and Peter, you may do a better job of explaining this.
Michael Pollan does a fantastic job
of describing this in his book, How to Change Your Mind,
which I recommend to everyone.
Yeah, we'll link to the book.
We'll also link to your interview with Michael recently,
which was excellent as well, even if people say
they're not quite ready to read the book,
at the very least they should invest the time
and listen to the podcast.
And by the way, I would not suggest that anyone jump out
and tomorrow go on Craigslist to try to find a shum
and to take you through some experience,
even if you felt like that was an inevitable step,
you ultimately want to take.
There are some things that I would recommend first
that can by themselves be exceptionally,
exceptionally useful. So to come back to it though, the ability to, for the first time,
view this ego that refers to itself, in my case, is Tim, who is a combination of many different
things,
the identity that we have had to voice it upon us
or conditioned into us,
but also that we've created for ourselves
by the stories we tell ourselves,
that we've always told ourselves.
Oh, my wife always does this, my dad always does that.
I always do this, I never do that.
These stories that we've told ourselves just so long that we've come to accept it as just
a fiber in our being.
To look at it and realize that you can reform that almost every part of that, or you can
take trauma that you experienced as a child and for the first time ever, recontextualize
it as an adult without a motion to look at it with a level of
emotional calmness so that you can finally close that circle is difficult to
describe. So I don't want to try too hard to put words to something which by
definition if we're talking about mystical experiences, which is a corollary to the durability
of these effects, let me restate that in English that is a little easier to understand.
When you look at, for instance, studies that have been done, research that has been done
at whether it's Johns Hopkins, NYU, or other places.
And I've gone to know the team at Johns Hopkins quite well and a huge amount
of respect and admiration for what they've done and continue to do. In many of the studies,
whether they're looking at terminal cancer patients and end of life anxiety, or they're
looking at lifelong smokers who came into a study specifically to look at how
psilocybin could be used for the cessation of smoking. The duration of a fact,
the durability of a fact, is very closely linked to something that you that you
could refer to as a mystical experience. And it turns out, as you would hope, there are different types of scales
and measurements one can use to determine if something is a mystical experience or not.
And there's some debate about this, but there are ways that you can assess whether something
qualifies as a mystical experience based on looking at the historical accounts and
writings of people who would consider mystics and one of them is
Inephability The inability for someone to verbalize their experience that the words somehow do violence to
The experience or don't do it justice. Paulin gives a great example of that in his book
I believe it was Michael Paulin in his book, How to Change Your Mind, about you take somebody
from whatever, a thousand years ago, put him in a time machine, bring him the time square.
Let him hang out for five hours, shoot him back.
Can they describe what they saw?
Not really.
They could say that it was big, loud and bright.
But other than that, they couldn't explain what a car is.
They couldn't explain what a building is or a skyscraper
because the vocabulary hadn't even been developed.
And that, to me, is like the greatest example,
albeit somewhat, glib of this idea of being ineffable,
which is you and I can sit here and talk about it
in a shorthand, but it's very difficult to explain
to one of our friends, maybe who hasn't experienced this.
And again, these things sound so goofy when you say them, like these experiences, seeing yourself from outside of yourself.
If someone hasn't experienced that, I can understand why they would look at you a little funny and say,
okay, intellectually, I understand what you mean by that, but why would that matter?
Why would that be profound?
How would that disrupt your ego?
It's very difficult to convey.
And I would say that what I've experienced and what I've certainly seen and heard other
people experience in their reports to me and in writing in various books that I've read is the
importance of the felt experience and that in some senses it's not that you have a psychedelic
experience, you have three realizations, you bring those realizations back to this ordinary reality, you take certain actions based on those realizations and
based on that intellectual legwork, your life changes.
It is not something strictly in the domain of words and thinking and just thinking harder
and working harder.
In other words, you're not taking the things that got you here. If you've achieved anything professional or personally, the pro and con list, the spreadsheets, the logical
arguments, it's not that you just get a better set of those things that you bring back.
It's that you are finally able to see an experience and feel something like empathy. Deeply for
the first time for someone you've never felt it for, or you feel love for yourself
truly for the first time and you think, holy shit, like that's what's been missing.
I've never even felt that.
If someone had asked me what a self love feel like, I wouldn't have had an answer for it.
These are the things that really stick.
And I think given the plasticity of the mind or plasticity of the brain, that allow, as one researcher
put it to me, you, to instead of going to the top of the ski slope and then taking the
tracks that have been worn, and of course the deeper the tracks get, the harder it is
to kind of hop out of them as you're skiing, but to get to the top and to have four fresh
feet of powder fall on the entire mountains that you have the ability
to choose an entirely new path, an entirely new record to play.
It's hard to verbalize.
But one way to think about it for me has allowed me to come to grips with this because there's
a part of me that has sometimes thought, like, this is too good to be true, it's going
to go away.
This new found empathy I have for person X
or this reduction in this horrible negative emotion
I've had, that's gonna go away in six months.
And I've thought of something which is,
when you look at the opposite of that,
which is how often is a person's life changed
for the worst based on one event?
And the answer is all the goddamn time.
A child could be abused once, and that can change their life forever. And again,
we're not going to go into that now because that is its own topic. But so many of the horrible
habits that we carry into adulthood are really because we never became adults. We are basically adaptive children who are taking on a set of behaviors to protect wounded children.
And sometimes those wounds occurred very acutely.
And so in many ways these experiences with psychedelics, if administered correctly in the correct setting,
with the correct integration, can act as the exact opposite of a wounding event.
In other words, with something that is so acute and so poignant, you can just change the
direction of this trajectory, this vehicle.
It doesn't necessarily mean it's orthogonal.
And of course, there's so much more to it than that.
Many people go through similar types of abuse, and they don't all have the same impact.
And similarly, many people can experience a psychedelic and not have the same impact.
But I think when I started to think of it in that way,
it started to become much more understandable
why this could happen.
Just is something horrible could alter the course of your life.
And I'm gonna, one of the podcasts I've already recorded
that will be coming out later this summer
will be with Corey, who you and I spent a couple of days
with, but Kern. It's a maximum couple of days with, up at Kern.
It's a maximum security prison.
Yeah.
When we did this, we spent this, this time up there with the five ensures.
The story of Corey's life is unbelievable.
And it's just a, again, at no point in there, I think is Corey using any of these things that
happened to him when he was young as excuses for the road he went down.
But it's impossible to argue that those experiences, many of them very
acute in this moment, on this day, in this place at this time completely set him on a different
path and he could have been otherwise.
So as you said, I love the idea of the stage analogy because to me, that's actually one of
the best analogies I've ever heard about how mindfulness meditation works is it's the
awareness that there is a stage
That's simply what it comes down to and to be able to leave
Your vantage point as one actor to step back and see that you are an actor on a stage is I think one of the most empowering things
And that's why I sort of love this interplay between you know meditation and these psychedelic agents
There's an interplay. There and these psychedelic agents.
There's an interplay, there's an interrelatedness, there is a reinforcement, a mutual reinforcement
also, which is why I'd love to mention a few things just to give people a chance to crack
their knuckles and stretch for a second in non-psychedelic territory.
There are a few things that I'd love to suggest people
which help you to develop the same types of meta awareness
that you can be thrust into through psychedelics
that serve a purpose, whether or not you ever choose
to take one of these compounds.
One would be certainly mindfulness meditation.
And I think by the time this podcast recording right now is live, Sam Harris is waking up
up. I think it's just tremendous. I think it does an exceptionally exceptionally good
job of this. And there's certainly guided meditations. If you search, say, mindfulness meditation,
Jack Cornfield, Tara Brock, both outstanding.
Sam Harris also has some guided meditations
that he's recorded.
Awareness meditation and Peter, you feel free to jump in,
if I don't do this justice,
but awareness meditation being different from, say,
other forms of meditation, many of which I have used
and still use on occasion, perhaps one of the more popular of which being, say, forms of meditation, many of which I have used and still use on occasion,
perhaps one of the more popular of which being, say, transcendental meditation.
Mantra based.
It is a concentration practice where you are repeating a mantra to yourself over and over
and over and over again as a way to hone concentration and although not everyone is going to love
this description to give your psyche
and self a break from the incessant monkey mind. And you really can reach a transcendent space where
you feel like you are a point of consciousness floating. If you do the 20 minutes, twice a day,
very consistently. That is a concentration practice. If you were thinking of a candle flame and
that were a focal point for a period of meditation,
whenever you found yourself swept up and thought,
you returned to a candle flame.
That would also be a concentration practice.
If you're doing, there are many also within
awareness meditation, there are different types,
but if you're doing say something referred to as,
I think it's sometimes called open monitoring,
where you're paying attention to anything that comes up as it comes up, and there it's sometimes called open monitoring, where you're paying
attention to anything that comes up as it comes up, and there are different ways to approach
this, but very often begins with the breath. So it is in some sense a concentration practice,
but you're focusing on the breath, you're not chasing it, you're simply observing it,
then you focus on sounds, then you focus on any discomfort or weight that you feel on
your body, then you perhaps later after 10 sessions, 10 daily sessions, begin to practice
with your eyes open, which I had never really done before, SAMSAP, which I found tremendously
helpful as a bridge into then waking reality. These are all practices that help you to spot the gap between sensory
input and cognitive response. It's so that you become more response able in so much as you have a tiny gap within which you can choose your
response as opposed to simply reflexively going through life like some type of slug that's
been shocked in a Skinner box or something.
You have more optionality.
You suddenly realize there are just more options on the menu than, oh, whenever someone
so does this, I always get pissed off. There are more options on the menu than, oh, whenever someone does this, I always get
pissed off. There are more options on the menu. And that, by the way, having that basic
ability, having the, just the ABCs of that awareness and control will give you a tremendous
advantage and allow you to get very often much more value out of any psychedelic experience.
Because you will have had, let's just call it, 50 sessions on a boogie board before they're
like, oh cool, here's a surfboard, it's hurricane season, have fun, good luck.
Like maybe you catch a wave.
Chances are, your first experience is going to be getting tumbled a lot. And you can accelerate the, you can steep in the learning curve
really dramatically for later getting more out of psychedelics very often if you develop some of
this basic awareness beforehand. I'm kind of amazed at how difficult it is for me to
convince some of my patients at the importance of meditation. And I find sometimes by just telling them
about my own struggles and my own journey to accept, first of all,
that this was something that was beneficial,
even when it didn't feel beneficial.
And to realize that you have to figure out
what's going to work for you, but it's worth making that effort.
I agree with you.
I think that just even putting the apps aside,
it's different people have different ways
of explaining things.
And I remember a math professor I had in college.
And this was early, this might have been like,
I must have been, I was either a freshman or a sophomore,
but he said something that always resonated with me.
Because now you are sort of getting outside
of like, you know, rudimentary calculus and stuff
and mathematics was starting to get very abstract.
And he said, look, if you're reading a proof and you don't understand it,
assume that the person who is presenting it doesn't know how to present it to you,
find somebody else. And so I think that that really holds also for meditation, which is,
there are just going to be some people who guide in a way that you're willing to be guided.
And so you shouldn't be pulled off if someone's listening to this thinking,
ah, you know, every time I try meditation, it doesn't work for me or something like that.
And so I don't want to sort of name the app size went through.
But there were many apps that I went through that just didn't resonate for me.
You know, just the way that they talked about this didn't make sense to me.
But then when you find the ones that do, and there are several that do for me, including
Sam's waking up, which you and I have been lucky enough along with a number of other
folks to get the beta version of that, which it's been six months.
It's been a while.
Yeah, I remember Sam giving it to me in January.
The way Sam explains it really resonates with me, and there are others that do so the
same.
Jeff Warren was also one of the guides on Dan Harris is no relation to Sam Harris, 10% happier.
I just love the way he explains stuff.
And so, I would say to anybody who's listening to this
who's feeling sort of bearish on meditation,
try a different guide, try a different book,
try another way, keep going until you find someone
who can walk
you through how to do this in a way that resonates. And the others mentioned two others since
they're very easy to test. Another is headspace, the 10 and 10 program, I think is a very, very
well-done format for beginningists, 10 minutes a day for 10 days, and it is quite well done.
Calm for some people who like the background nature sounds, for instance, I've used that
app and many of my friends really find that to be with a female guide to be their preferred
mode of meditation. And then you can meditate in silence. You can consider taking a TM course
as I did, which actually really served to kickstart a lot of my meditation because
it cost money.
So I had that sunk cost working in my favor.
And it's effectively four lunch breaks over four days I want to say if I'm remembering
correctly.
And you have to meditate in between those sessions.
So you have homework and you are going to feel like a doofus and a disappointment and be embarrassed if you don't do those sessions. So you have someone
holding you accountable, i.e. the teacher, to actually put this into practice for at least a
four day period. And that in and of itself, I pushed off for so long, for so so long and I remember Chase
Jarvis I'll give him credit again at one point said
Tim you can afford it it worked for me
What is the downside if it doesn't work for you?
You still get to meditate with someone else for four days might that be worth it and
I didn't have a good counter
Eventually I acquiesced and and took that step, which was very, it was one of the first times I finally felt what I had the first hand experience of what meditation could deliver,
which is in some ways equally difficult to describe as the psychedelic experience.
When you have your first session where you've completely lost any
rumination or
compulsive thinking about your to-do list and it might just be the last five minutes of a 20-minute session and you come out of it
and you just feel this serene piece that perhaps you haven't even touched on for 10 years.
You go, oh, okay.
Now I get it.
If this is something that I could actually call upon reliably, that is a super power.
And for that reason, I would say that if you're going to commit to this, commit to it like
you would a workout program or a diet. You
don't go to the gym once and come back and wake up with, you know, six pack abs the next
morning. For me at least, if I take a break and there are periods when I last-
Especially by the way, if you eat like we've eaten in Austin.
Yeah, we have, you know, there's so much good food here. You have to be very careful about
portion control. But if you want to get a taste for what meditation can do, I would say commit
to 10 days.
And for me at least, if for whatever reason I lapse, and there's certainly periods when I
lapse, this happens to me with diet, happens to me with exercise and occasion, it's like,
you know what, I haven't meditated for two weeks for whatever number of reasons.
It will take me, I would say five to seven days to finally stop grinding years and shift into a
calmer state.
There's a certain loading phase almost like Crete or something.
It takes me five to seven days to click into that different gear at which point I go,
oh yes, this is why it's so important.
Now I remember.
Yeah, there's a great book out there called
Altered States, which I read this year
that I think does a great job of parsing that concept out,
which is,
Is it Altered States or Altered Traits?
Oh, it's Altered Traits and it makes the point
that it's not about the state.
Thank you for that correction.
We've had a whole bunch of people potentially going to Amazon
and going, I can't find this book,
or maybe the read that book does exist,
and it's completely the wrong book.
But that's exactly the point, right?
Which is that we don't meditate for the state.
The state can be pleasurable.
To be honest, I don't find it that pleasurable.
I don't actually enjoy meditating that much.
Sometimes I do, but as many times as I do,
it's difficult for me, it's work.
It's sometimes truthfully, it feels like I suck. Like I'm I do, it's difficult for me. It's work. Sometimes truthfully, it feels like I
suck. Like, I'm, boy, it's really amazing, the frequency with which thoughts keep entering my mind.
I forget who, and again, I can't remember if it was Sam Harris or a different guide who made
this point, which was, actually, I think it was, actually Jeff Warren, which was, he described it as the bicep curl of the brain is not the cessation
of thought. It's the recognition of the thought that then allows you to go back to the breath
or whatever the focus is. And boy, that really, again, that's just an example of like that's not
a particularly like profound, difficult to understand concept, but it's exactly what I needed to hear, which is, don't be discouraged that you keep having thoughts.
That's the exercise.
The exercise is acknowledging it, recognizing it, going back to the focus, which in this
case could be the breath or a sound or something like that.
And so it's not about that state that you may or may not achieve, just as some people
who exercise, like you and I, we love exercising, so we actually get a pretty good state
out of it.
I actually, if exercise provided no benefit,
I would still do it, just because of how I feel
when I do it.
But for many people, that's not the case,
but exercise is still valuable.
If you spend an hour a day exercising,
it's really what it's doing through that other 23 hours.
So that's, I guess that would be the next thing I would say
to anybody listening to this, who's tried meditation, who has found it to be unpleasurable or uninteresting,
or whatever, it's like, that's okay. You're not doing it for what you experience in that 20 minutes.
I would also add, and this just occurred to me, because I think you're in some ways
looting to this, that in my experience, having observed hundreds of thousands of listeners and readers attempt
or not attempt succeed or not succeed with different forms of meditation, it's very important
and this applies to many, many different things, including physical exercise as far as I'm concerned,
but the good program that you follow,
let's lower it even further.
The consistent program that you follow
is better than the perfect program that you quit.
So, if you're having trouble following a meditation program
and you've committed to doing it daily,
which is a very important commitment in the beginning,
keep lowering the bar.
If you think 20 minutes is too much, do 10 minutes.
10 minutes is too much, do five minutes.
If concentration meditation is too difficult,
use a guided meditation.
And I recall at one point, there were two things
that I recall having been said to me.
I think Tara Brock mentioned the first, I could be misinterpreting, but I think it was
Tara Brock at first said this to me.
Her book, Radical Acceptance, by the way, ties into everything that we're talking about
beautifully.
It had a huge impact on me and has had a huge impact on many people.
It's the type of title that's going to scare off a lot of people because I think it's
going to be a bunch of woo-hoo hand-away V stuff
There's a little bit of woo in there, but it is a
Incredibly good book radical acceptance if you have any type of emotional
Patterns or thought patterns that seem to control you as opposed to the other way around
this is a worthwhile book and her guide in meditation is very good, but we were chatting ahead her on the podcast on my own podcast and
I believe was Tara said, the repetition if we're doing the bicep curl,
isn't the 20 minute session where you sit perfectly
without having a single extraneous thought occur.
The repetition is when you get distracted
and something comes up and then bringing it back to the breath.
So you should be happy when
that happens because that is the work. The work isn't doing it perfectly every time.
It took me three years to understand that. Three years of frustration and am I doing this
right and you know why can't I stop thinking and just all of this misunderstanding. But boy, once you get what the bicep curl is, it's freeing.
It makes the pass fail bar lower, which for many of the people who most need meditation,
which I think has a branding problem.
It should be called emotional non-reactivity training or something that sounds very appealing
to type a driven people.
Emotional non-reactivity conditioning program. There you go. Or just warm bath for the mind might be
appealing to other people. But meditation as such, it's a word that becomes, it's so overused and
unfortunately could use a rebrand. But for the time being, meditation and a successful meditation session should in the beginning
be as easy as possible to fit into your life.
You need to stack the deck, particularly in the beginning.
And TM Transcendental Meditation was very good at instilling this in the training for me
at least.
They said, if you say the mantra once in a session, that is a successful session.
You have 20 minutes to say a two-cellible mantra once.
That's a successful session.
And you might even drop it further and say, you know what, this is the goal.
This would be miraculous.
But if I just sit for 20 minutes with my eyes closed. That's a successful meditation session. And sometimes
I've honestly wondered how much of the benefit comes from some of the mental practices versus
just sitting still and breathing with my eyes closed.
Well, that's actually really interesting. That gets to something I want to talk a little
bit about, which is the study of psychedelics. But while we're on that topic, it's hard to sometimes
study these things because of these performance biases.
It's hard to disaggregate the effect of just sitting there
for 20 minutes.
And luckily, some of those experiments have been done,
which is you take a group, and instead of saying the control
group just doesn't do anything,
maybe you have the control group sit in silence
for 20 minutes,
and then you can sort of disaggregate those things.
So Tim, you've spoken with me quite a bit
about your interest in funding science,
and that goes back to even before the discussion of psychedelics,
but very recently you've made a pretty large commitment.
Are you comfortable talking about that publicly?
I am. I am very, very comfortable talking about publicly.
I have almost
entirely redirected not just what I would have invested in startups, but a multiple of that
into scientific research. I've made the commitment for me, which is by far the largest commitment
to not just science, but even any given startup that I've ever made financially.
And that's a million dollars, a minimum of a million dollars over the next several
years, several meaning three or four.
And I expect I'll exceed that one million dollar amount with primarily a focus on psilocybin
and MDMA, but that could extend to other compounds, which I also find to be
understudied and that have been in some ways shelved for decades, for primarily political
and not scientifically justifiable reasons. When we started talking about this when you were
thinking about it, I remember one of the stories that you really liked was a
relatively unknown story in the world of philanthropy unless you dig deep in the annals about the woman by the name of Catherine McCormick.
That story really resonated with you. What was it about that story?
Well, you should tell this story because I think it's
It's so noteworthy on a number of different levels.
But what struck me was how if timed right,
and if thought about intelligently where you're focusing on points of leverage,
how even a single person with relatively moderate amounts of investment,
and moderate is relative, right?
But let me rephrase that. moderately moderate amounts of investment, and moderate is relative, right?
But let me rephrase that.
How someone or a small group of people, if concentrating on points of leverage in furthering,
in this case, scientific studies, can really bend the arc of history in a way that most people would find unbelievable.
Because when folks think of, say,
pharma or bringing a new drug to market in the largest scale
census, billions and billions and billions and billions
of dollars.
But that story was appealing to me because, on many levels,
but what I'd love to do is have
you tell it, and then I will point out the parts, if this were a kindled chapter, which
parts I would highlight to go back to to remind myself of certain things.
But why don't you tell the story?
Because it's such a great example of what one person or a small group of committed people can do.
I'll leave it at that.
Well, it can be probably read about more eloquently than I can restate it,
but the gist of it was Catherine McCormick in,
I believe the early 60s or late 50s met a gentleman,
I believe his name was Gregory Pankis if I'm not mistaken.
I think that's right.
At a dinner party or a cocktail party.
Yeah. And basically, he explained to her that he was pretty convinced I think that's right, at a dinner party or a coffee party.
Yeah, and basically he explained to her that he was pretty convinced he could chemically
synthesize hormones that could be served as a birth control pill or serve as a birth control
pill for women.
And she was no dummy herself.
She went to it with MIT.
Yeah, I believe so.
And it had been involved with also funding housing for additional female students so they could attend.
Yeah, and her hypothesis was if we could create
a birth control pill, we could completely change
the interaction that women can have with education,
with work, with the family balance, et cetera.
Now we take this, we listen to this story today
and we think, well, what's the big deal? Like so what? She funded the research for the birth control
pill. But the reality of it is at the time, again, I can't remember, I must have the
dates wrong, but certainly it was long enough ago that this was viewed as an absolute no-go.
I mean, there was simply, you know, birth control was such a taboo. And what's really interesting
is she decided
to fund something that was incredibly risky that no pharma company was willing to touch
with a 10-foot pole because it was viewed as just a way to sink money into a bottomless
pit that could never achieve the regulatory approval. And using, again, a relatively small
sum of money, and I believe in today's dollars. It's to the tune of about $25 million. She sunk into the work of this guy, Pincis and one other gentleman
whose name is escaping me. Over the span of something like about a decade.
About a decade. Yeah, maybe eight years. And when you, my favorite graph that I ever saw,
which was kind of the holy shit moment, was the graph of the number of women in graduate schools, professional
school, law school, business school, whatever, pre and post the introduction of the
birth control pill.
And it's, you don't get to see a lot of hockey sticks, you know, as one of my friends once
put it, it's really cool when the data don't need statistics to be analyzed.
It's not like, well, there was a statistically significant increase in the rate at which
women entered the workforce.
No, no, you didn't even have to say the word statistically significant.
It was a step function change.
And I don't know.
I just, I thought that was such an interesting story.
And I remember when you and I were talking about this a while ago, I, I don't know, we
even know why I told you the story, but you, you seem to really grip to it.
There were many reasons for it.
I think partially being at the time in Silicon Valley and surrounded by venture capital,
I saw some of the stupidest, I don't know how else to put it, just stupidest non-viable
ideas raise tens of millions or hundreds of millions of dollars.
Let's just be stupid.
Film and Throbbing dollars? No, I mean for profit. Okay. Startups repeatedly. I mean, you just saw dozens and
hundreds of examples over time of this and it struck me that we find ourselves in a unique time,
which supposes something that goes without saying every time is a unique time, which supposes something that goes without saying every time is a unique
time, but in the sense that long ago, this is worth discussing for a quick second, psychedelics
specifically LSD were through the controlled, I think it's the controlled substances act,
scheduled put into the schedule one class of drug classification, which means high
potential for addiction, no, no, no, no medical or no medical application, no
demonstrated medical application, putting them in the same class as heroin.
And to be clear for the listener who might not appreciate that even cocaine is
scheduled to. Right. Which means it still has potential for addiction that
everybody acknowledges, but it does have at least one viable medical application, which is it turns out to be a pretty good local anesthetic in the nose, which is ironic, of course.
But it therefore does have a medical use, and it's used routinely in ENT surgery. These compounds are so useful if they can have some of the effects without guarantee.
Of course, it's not batting a thousand every time.
If you have a hundred people at random who are using some with direction, some without,
you're not going to have a perfect record.
But if even some of the time the effects can be achieved, the outcomes can be seen that
we're discussing.
How did these compounds, including LSD, end up in this category.
And it's a multifactorial problem, and it's hard to say there's one causal agent, but there are
few things that happened at the time. Number one, many people don't realize Paulin gets into this
really fascinating, but LSD25, which was first isolated or synthesized by Albert Hoffman, was developed
on the part or on behalf of a pharma company.
It was later used.
It was roast, correct.
I want to say it was sandos.
Oh, you're right, you're right.
It was sandos.
And then it was later used in a program that, if I'm remembering correctly, was CIA-led,
called MK-Ultra, where it might be used as a
truth serum for interrogations and things of this type, or to confuse and sabotage enemies of the
state, and it got out into the wild. And then the adventure began, so to speak.
And LSD was widely distributed.
And at the time you had parents who had never experienced psychedelics.
We were going into the Vietnam era.
And we had a number of characters come on to the scene in very high profile ways.
One of them being, and he cannot be be even though he is often given the blame
I don't think it's it's fair to do this
You know, literally but Tim Leary came onto the scene. He was at Harvard as was Richard Albert who later became Ram Das and
The things exploded at Harvard and they they were both a belief fired. I don't think they resigned
things exploded at Harvard and they were both a belief fired. I don't think they resigned
preemptively because Solasiven was given to an undergraduate when it was only supposed to be administered to graduate students and
at some point
Leary decided that science was too slow and that the way to affect cultural change was to have tens of millions of people
He had a specific number in mind,
and that that would effectively lead to a tipping point
where all these positive effects on society
would be inevitable.
And if you think about the cultural setting,
you have a lot of young people being told
to drop out of school to resist war efforts and all
of that made a number of figures including Larry, very high profile targets that could not,
in some ways, be ignored by the administration.
So Nixon famously said, Timothy Lerie is the most dangerous man in America and you had
parents who could not in any way conceive of the experiences
that their children were having on these compounds, and that, along with dozens of other things,
was a recipe for political crackdown, which is exactly what happened.
What you have now is you have parents who are, in many cases, certainly products of the
60s, who have had psychedelics experiences.
You have people who are in positions of power or in regulatory organizations
who have, in some cases, experienced psychedelics.
You also have studies now being conducted,
even though it's with great difficulty because of all of the approvals and DEA
oversight and so on that's required
that are going back to the dozens and hundreds of studies that were performed before the
crackdown and rescheduling and applying more rigorous scientific standards.
And that is combined with a number of, as you mentioned earlier, epidemic level problems that we're experiencing
that are costing, I would have to imagine, billions upon billions of dollars,
namely, opiate addiction, depression, PTSD.
If you add up the costs associated with those three,
if we want to be a little crass about it and just look at the profit loss, it makes a lot of sense based on the data thus far to explore some of these compounds.
And that's part of the reason why, for instance, in the case of MDMA and PTSD, the FDA has
granted MDMA breakthrough therapy designation, which means that not only is the process expedited for ultimately face
through trials, that the FDA is in a sense a collaborator.
So instead of saying, all right, your methodology is approved, and I'm going to apologize in advance.
This is not, face through trials are not my area of expertise.
So if I make any, if I misspeak, I apologize and certainly feel free to correct me in comments
somewhere.
But the FDA is effectively a partner who helps them to navigate the entire process.
Instead of saying your methodology is approved, see in three years and you're going to get
a pass fail, which is a precarious position for any compound, let alone something that is
currently scheduled the way that MDMA is.
And we don't have to get into it right now, but there's also something called the special protocol assessment SPA,
which should hopefully, if the stars align in some ways,
which I think they very well might,
give MDMA a very high probability
of ultimately being prescribable
and used in supervised settings.
It would not be a take home drug, in other words, but PTSD,
and specifically with respect to, let's say, returning war veterans or victim of sexual abuse is a
it is a highly bipartisan issue. I should better say it's a nonpartisan issue. It's very hard
for someone to say fuck the vets. So the risk of that
getting shot down politically, I'm not going to say zero because it's never zero, but it's
there are more attractive targets. If you're looking for re-election or looking for press
time, there are safer targets to go after to achieve that than this. And then within the
scientific community looking at psilocybin,
which there are at least two entities right now
that are presenting phase two data to the FDA.
And I'm optimistic that within the next year,
at least one of them will proceed into phase three trials.
psilocybin has shown remarkable efficacy,
at least based on preliminary data for end of life,
or I should say event-based depression
and people with terminal diagnoses, terminal cancer diagnoses.
And that may end up getting extended
to major depressive disorder, which is to be continued
or to be determined.
But I've already helped to raise funding
and also applied funding myself to
a study that will be looking at treatment, resistant depression at Johns Hopkins, utilizing
psilocybin.
And that means, I believe, by the book, chronic depression that has failed at least two
interventions or two other treatments.
Are there other agents Tim?
I mean, loosely speaking, and this is a gross over simplification,
and we'll probably get into a few of these time permitting. Certainly, as you said, MDMA has
really shown pretty remarkable efficacy in PTSD. It's wild. It's one of those similar to the graph you
mentioned, related to McCormick. Yeah, it's just not subtle. It's not subtle. You don't need the
P value to see the difference. No, no, no. I think I'm getting this right. Anyone interested can certainly look up maps. You can find them
at maps.org who have spearheaded a lot of this. But I believe that psychotherapy alone, something
like 27% effective at reducing the scale measurement. And I'm ad-leaving a little bit here. But let's
just say that there is a rating of 0 to 10 for determining the severity of PTSD. Anything above a 3 is
PTSD. Something along those lines, this is a bit of ad-lib, but I think it's something
between 20 and 27% decreased to below a 3, so they would no longer be diagnosed as having
PTSD with psychotherapy alone. I don't remember the time frame.
When psychotherapy was combined with MDMA, it was something like 70%.
I mean, it just not set a little.
So which, again, we could spend just two hours just talking about the relationship of trauma
and psychological damage and how MDMA can help with that.
The other thing, of course, which we talked about very briefly earlier was IBoga, and IBogane in the treatment
of opiate addiction, which probably has the worst success
rate amongst societal epidemics that are being treated
by conventional means.
I mean, there really aren't great options
for the individuals with opiate addiction.
And then, of course, psilocybin, as you said,
on end of life depression, major
depressive, along with smoking cessation, I heard it's even being looked at now for alcoholism.
It is. And there are a few predominant classes people can look at when it comes to psychedelics.
I believe you have the, they're the triptomines and then the fenethyl amines, I believe it is,
but we don't have to get into all that, partially because I'll just embarrass myself,
but coming back to the default node network,
which I think is worth returning to for a second,
which listeners might recall is this collection
of different parts of the brain that appear to be active
when you are doing nothing.
What is doing nothing mean?
And this was discovered, I believe, in part,
when scientists were doing calibrations
within FMRI machines.
I said, all right, just do nothing.
We want to get a baseline.
And this is the part of the brain that's
keeping it lighting up.
What the hell is going on?
And it appears to be highly activated
when people are engaging in any type
of self-referential thinking.
I, how does it affect it?
So not only like, think about fear, but what makes you fearful, okay boom, and then default
mode network seems to light up.
Any type of temporal projection, in other words, thinking about the past, thinking about
the future, seems to also light this up.
And Pauline does a great job of digging into this in the book and a number of people
have written about this in very eloquent terms. Robin Carrhart, Harris out of the UK,
is one of them. But to just pose a question that I think is something that's being explored
currently, if, say, anxiety is being stuck in the future and being depressed is being stuck
in the past, what happens if you're able to temporarily suspend or deactivate that system to some extent and to give yourself that
witness perspective so you can look at yourself without being yourself. And the implication, if
many of these psychedelic compounds are able to achieve that is an even Tom Insul, who
I think is the former head of the National Institute, honor of mental health and IMAH.
If you look at OCD, you look at different types of depression, different types of anxiety
and so on.
These are very cleanly separated out in some type of, what is the term for this desk reference
that people use for the DSM?
DSM.
In the DSM.
But, they may all be slightly different species of the same thing, which is why something
like psilocybin appears to be LSD, very similar story, mescaline probably a very similar story at high enough doses can be used for anything
that appears to involve obsessive thought patterns or behaviors.
That includes alcoholism, it includes smoking, it includes opiate addiction, and there are
studies that are seeking funding right now.
I know at Johns Hopkins related to opiate addiction Through the lens of psilocybin treatment, which I'm very very interested in eating disorders like anorexia
these may in fact be
very interrelated
Phenomena and conditions so you mentioned a few that are
LSD I think is off table, not for scientific reasons,
but for political reasons.
It's just too loaded. There's too much baggage.
And let us not forget that the media plays a very large role
in how politics respond to things.
And in today's day and age, I do not have a high level of confidence
that LSD, since it was once painted as the villain,
is not, it's too seductive, I think,
in a clickbait world to not fall into the same bear trap
in a way.
So, psilocybin, then you have MDMA,
which is thought by, referred to as some people as an
anactogen or an empathogen.
This is not, probably not scientifically too granularly accurate,
but it appears to tone down,
that's not a scientific term,
but tone down the amygdala and fear response
that we have to say recalling or reliving traumatic events.
And it allows us to people, say with PTSD who have seen their friends head's blown off
or had to blow other people's heads off, whatever it might be, people have been raped, etc.
To, in some sense, clean up a very messy experience that did a lot of damage. And to help people to heal themselves
in nonverbal ways, this is really key.
It's very hard for many people to talk their way out
of something they didn't talk their way into.
That's so well said.
I mean, you said in one sentence,
what I tried to say in like 20 cents
is a while ago about the experiences
that can cause pain, can be so jarring that it should be at least acknowledged or considered
that equally jarring chemical experiences might be necessary to put that new powder on
the slope.
Definitely.
So you have MDMA.
MDMA, I'll be honest, I was biased in some ways against MDMA
for a long time because A, I didn't have much personal experience with anything chemically related
to MDMA. I had a fear associated with it because of research which I think has since been largely debunked in
terms of risks for people who are predisposed to depression, for instance. It was also at one point
viewed as, and is still used recreational as a party drug. And I've really been swayed to the
other side. I'm very bullish on MBMA as a therapy. I think that it is extremely, it's an extremely powerful,
inflexible tool that does not entail the type of perceptual distortion that some of these psychedelics do,
which is not to say I am not bullish on psychedelics, I am, but it requires much more sophisticated
training to administer. So, MDMA.
IBoga and IBagin.
Going back to MDMA, I do think it is important to point out if anybody is listening to this
thinking, well, of all of these compounds, MDMA is pretty easy to get, and you know,
you can get it packaged in other things, and it's ecstasy, et cetera.
But this goes back to intent, setting, and integration. I really do not, I am not convinced
that just taking MDMA going to a party
is somehow going to unwind any of these problems.
I mean, this really, I would go further than that
and I would bet against it.
If someone gave me a hundred grand and they said,
all right, this person is gonna take MDMA
and go to a party 10 times.
What is the likelihood that it's going to fix X longstanding problem?
I'd go a hundred thousand dollars every single dollar against.
I would shorten it.
I know people, in fact, who have used MDMA recreationally and then used it in supervised
settings as if they are taking a different drug.
Yeah, that just can't be overstated, and I'm not just staying that because I'm a doctor
and I'm supposed to say something responsible, but I mean that regardless, and that for me
is the urgency around this stuff.
I think about myself, frankly, but I think about my patients, and I think about a lot of
my patients that would benefit from these things that I've experienced or even things that
I have an experience that I've seen people experience.
And I just, I've never had such a sense of urgency around this.
I mean, prior to this, the most urgency I ever had was waiting for PCSK9 inhibitors to come
on the market when I read that first paper in the New England Journal of Medicine about 12 years
ago on the discovery of this type of, you know, these individuals who had mis-sense mutations in that enzyme that lowered their LDL significantly.
But, boy, the anxiety might be the wrong word, but the anticipation I had for that
class of drugs, which anybody listening to this is probably falling asleep thinking.
That's, you're an interesting guy, if that's what was keeping you up at night,
waiting for that drug. But, but this takes it to another level, which is
Almost nobody I know has not been traumatized on some level and it doesn't always have to be
Something that is so obvious. So, so you know, we've all been traumatized. We've all sort of been hurt
We're all dealing with these things and yet I feel
How quickly can these things go through this regulatory pathway to get into the hands of people who would know how to administer them?
I certainly wouldn't, right? Even if these things were legal today, that's only half the battle.
It's, can you create enough practitioners that know, you know, how to select the right patients and how to apply the treatment?
Because this is, in many ways, harder than any other treatments we have today.
You know, people talk today about the importance of combining psychotherapy with any depressants,
but that's really the tip of the iceberg compared to this stuff.
And it's also tricky from a commercial standpoint in so much as part of the reason these compounds
haven't been picked up like a football and run to the end zone by Big Pharma is that many of these studies only involve two or
three sessions with psilocybin.
Yeah.
A naturally occurring molecule.
In these cases, it's synthesized, but there is a lot more money to be made in something
that you can charge an arm and a leg for that you have to take on a daily basis or in every
other day basis, indefinitely, as opposed to two or three times with some pre-work and post-work with
durable effects in many cases.
That's financially an unattractive model to many people.
I think it's a mistake.
There are some for-profit companies out there, I should say startups who are going after
this, and I'll be very disappointed if they try to make their money on the molecule by blocking
other people from doing research or manufacturing and good manufacturing in GMP facilities and
so on.
Rather, I think they should make their money on the services on the therapy.
So that's maybe a separate discussion.
Now why has IBogane taken the longest track?
And why is that still the one that seems to have gained the least traction for testing
in the United States?
I've spoken to a number of people, philanthropists, who are really interested in this opiate
addiction problem, and yet they are understandably not interested in funding research outside of
the United States.
And basically, their view is until the DEA and the FDA allow for a similar pathway, we're
not interested in funding this.
And I worry that there's a bit of a stalemate there.
Is this thawing?
I don't think it is yet to thaw.
There are some researchers in a blanking on names, I apologize, but there are a number
of researchers who are doing very good work looking at eye began and have been studying
it, Iboga and Ibegan in the United States. Part of what makes eye began tricky. If on one end of
the spectrum you have MDMA, which again I don't consider a classical psychedelic, but as a tool
that can be applied to some of the same conditions. What makes MDMA attractive is general low toxicity,
relative ease of administration, short duration,
if we're looking at, I wanna say four to six hours,
let's say maybe a little bit longer, four to eight hours.
I begin falls on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Now, before we get to what puts it on the opposite end
of the spectrum, I should say I know
people very directly who had family members who were herwinatics and say prostituting
themselves on death's door.
If they weren't going to die from an overdose, they might die from getting shot in the
street.
And in a case like that, where nothing else has worked, including some, say, alternatives
like methadone, I've seen cases where I began has worked.
I mean, don't the practitioners of this offer that at one year the recidivism is only
20 percent?
I don't know the exact numbers, but that's given what else I've seen with these compounds that wouldn't, I don't find that
unbelievable. If I'm recalling, that's only with two weeks of intervention. Now
these are people that are put into a you know a very heavily supervised detox
environment where the the iBoga and the iBogane itself are administered over a
one-week period outside of the you know pre and post IBUGAIN itself are administered over a one week period outside
of the pre and post-integration.
So I think the entire therapy, if I recall, was about six weeks.
There are many different formats, and I know people who have been involved with running
some of these clinics, and certainly there are people like Gabor Maté, who have looked
at opioid addiction very closely, but ended up, as I understand
it, at least looking at Iowaska and others for helping people who are addicted to opiates.
I begin is very, it's unlike some of the others, such as Solsai bin, in that it acts on
a whole slew of different
receptors.
And let's discuss what puts it on the opposite end.
So yes, it can have these seemingly miraculous effects on opiate addiction.
And part of the reason for that experientially is I understand it and I've never gone for
a full ride.
I began or Iboge, psychedelic experience and I have no desire to.
It is very unpleasant, it is very long.
So it can last as I understand it,
people feel free to correct me, but 24 to 36 hours.
That is a long time.
And many people experience a full review of their lives
and a controlled death experience whereby they get to see
from the beginning of life almost like a slideshow, the decisions they've made, how they've hurt themselves, the other people they've hurt,
how their addiction has affected things, and what government they would, how he might frame it,
is instead of asking why the addiction asks why the pain, and the addiction is often a response
almost inevitably, but often a response, I'll say often, to some type of trauma or pain.
And if you don't address that in some fashion,
allow people to reintegrate that somehow.
The likelihood of recidivism is very, very high.
So just from a phenomenological perspective,
which is fancier, I was saying,
subjective experiential standpoint,
many people report that.
Biocannically, and there are people who are looking at, for instance, using a metabolite
of IBegin, nor IBegin, which may mitigate some of the risks.
This is part of the reason why IBegin hasn't taken.
And then the risk, I think we've stated explicitly.
Cardiac arrhythmias.
People have and can die of cardiac events
in using I began.
I don't know the specifics,
but I believe you can screen for this
in a number of different ways
to minimize the risk.
And then certainly you can monitor in ways
having other types of more conventional pharmaceuticals
on hand.
In the case there is some indicator
of a pending cardiac event
or cardiac event itself. That's one of the major risks. It is one of the more potentially
dangerous psychedelics. It almost certainly is, compared at least to say LSD or psilocybin
for which I don't believe there is a known LD50, meaning, well, you could explain it better than I can.
Yeah, the LD50 being the dose
at which 50% of a population would receive a lethal dose.
Exactly.
Biochemically, what I was gonna say,
this putting all that stuff aside for a moment,
what's so odd about this,
and I'm not an opiate specialist,
but I've had family members die from opiate overdoses.
I don't even know if I told you about this relatively recently.
And my best friend growing up on Long Island also died of a fentanyl overdose.
So I have firsthand experience with the pain of losing loved ones to this epidemic.
It appears that many people can come out of these
eye-bagane treatments with close to no physical withdrawal symptoms.
And I don't know how that works.
I really don't, but it does seem to be certainly one of the
constituent pieces of this experience that lead to the
success rate that many people are reporting.
Which is really interesting because it's true that opiate addiction,
opiate withdrawal is not physiologically harmful the way alcohol withdrawal is.
So delirium stremons, so these DTs that people get when they withdraw from alcohol will be fatal.
So you actually have to manage these people with benzodiazepines and other medications
as you taper someone off.
You don't have to do that with opiates, but the withdrawal is nevertheless psychologically
devastating.
So that's interesting that you could mitigate that.
I've read accounts where people talk very similarly about I began the way you described,
or the way I don't know if it was you or if it was Michael Pollan on the podcast talking
about the smoker. I think it was Michael Pollan on the podcast talking about the smoker
I think it was Michael Pollan talking about the smoker who says you know my lungs are just too beautiful to be
Insulted with this stuff and like I realized that and I'm like and it's like as silly as that might sound to someone listening to it that
Experience if profound enough can have a have a life-changing event that is durable and that's that the key is the durability
And similarly, I've heard these I've read these accounts of people
who have been completely addicted to narcotics.
The account I'm thinking of in particular
was someone using heroin.
And they came away from this thinking,
I could never stick that needle in my arm again.
Like I could never do that to myself again,
because I now saw this connection I have to a plant and or another
person and or another organism.
And again, I know that I realize that when I say that, it sounds really silly.
It takes us or brings us full circle in a sense also back to the beginning when I said that
you shouldn't and you don't have to go through life simply tolerating yourself at best.
Because there are a thousand things that could follow because.
But in part, if you don't have any regard for yourself, if you think you're worthless
or if you think you're fatally flawed, if you think you're a fuckup, if you think you
can't get anything right, or you just don't have some intrinsic love for yourself, you
don't see any beauty in yourself. Why wouldn't you be addicted? Why wouldn't you stick that needle in your arm? Why wouldn't you smoke pot five times a day and
Two now it why wouldn't not to say there aren't applications of cannabis don't freak out people out there
It's an interesting space. We don't have time to get into it right now
But there are so many ways you can numb or damage yourself
But there are so many ways you can numb or damage yourself,
which is a, in some ways a logical coping mechanism if you have a low regard for yourself.
But when you sense an interconnectedness
and you suddenly have empathy, not just for other people,
like we've felt through our experience,
but an empathy for yourself.
You look back at like the 10 year old Peter,
the 10 year old Tim and I'm just like, Jesus Christ. Fucking poor kid. I mean, and I can sit with that feeling
and actually identify with that kid and forgive that kid and assure that kid everything's
going to be all right. It's right now in words through this microphone, probably not
going to have the impact that I would hope it to have, but for people to feel that as if you are in the same room with that younger version of yourself,
can be transformative beyond anything that I could convey right now. And when you have an experience
like that, as ludicrous as it might sound, the idea of injecting some type of numbing agent into your body just becomes inconceivable.
In the same way that it would be inconceivable, as you mentioned earlier, how you treat yourself as ultimately, how you would treat others, like, well, would you inject your son with that?
To numb his experience of life? Of course not. Yeah, that was just one of the most powerful experiences I ever had when I really finally
accepted all of the issues I needed to accept and go into therapy was something they made
me do, which was carry around a picture of me at a certain age before certain things
had happened that were pivotal in sort of shaping both the positive and negative aspects
of my personality.
And the idea was, and again, it just works out that way.
It worked out that way for me, that my oldest son
is at about that age.
And just for what it's worth, looks like me.
So it became a very easy way to look at him and say,
well, that was me.
And it turns out that that was the bridge to understanding.
It's actually, if you're a parent,
what parent can't find empathy for their child?
And that's like this stepping stone.
And so to think that these agents can do that,
because maybe not everybody has that luxury
of having a child or having a child
that looks like them at the same age
when they were traumatized or something like that.
I mean, it's very powerful. And,
you know, it just, I guess it's, there are many problems to which I really honestly have
known, not even the foggiest clue how to go about solving them from a practical standpoint.
Like, like, talk about climate change. Like, we could talk about climate change all day long,
and we could certainly wax philosophically on the lots of
regulatory things that could be done to mitigate it.
But you start to realize very quickly that politically these things become challenging, and you have all sorts of different
economies around the world, and they'd all have to be in lockstep.
And you sort of, not to be dismissive of these things or say we shouldn't work very hard at solving these, but
the solution space isn't that clear to me.
And yet when you see a problem that in my mind is the single most important problem that's
plaguing our civilization.
And I know that's a big statement.
That's a super big statement.
And I realize it's also probably naive when you consider that there are many other problems
going on, but unhappiness is at the root of more pain I would suspect
than any ailment that falls in the quote unquote physical body, and to think that we have compounds
that could play such an important role that are really facing challenges and getting approved.
I just find that really frustrating. It's frustrating, and it has been frustrating for people like, for instance, Rick Doblin, who heads up maps, who've been...
He's been at it since 1986.
1986, which is just to me that's amazing.
And probably beforehand.
If you take into account, I believe that's when maps was officially formed, if I'm not getting my facts wrong.
And we're at a very exciting time now where MDMA is being expedited.
Siliciman is certainly on its way.
For people who are interested in learning more about this,
I think maps.org is fantastic.
Place to look, in fact, one of the areas where maps could use support, as I
understand it, is in taking their approach to legitimizing MDMA use
therapeutically in the US to Europe. So there will be steps they'll take with the
EMA, I think it is, which is the FDA equivalent in the EU
for hopefully facilitating MDMA use in Europe. So that that
certainly if you're looking to become involved with
exploring and potentially supporting this as I am, that is one clear and present need. And it're also at a very exciting point because psilocybin is one example,
which has a lot of good research to support it.
There's a lot more being done at places like Hopkins
and NYU and many other places now.
May have, and this remains to be studied,
but it's plausible that it could have
profound applications to opiate addiction, for instance.
And this comes back also to the McCormick story with birth control because the, I don't
recall what the first compound was that was FDA-proved, but it wasn't approved for birth
control.
I think it was approved for menstrual disorders.
That's right.
That was the thin end of the wedge was women whose menstrual cycles
were unusually heavy or uncomfortable
were the first approval.
Exactly.
And that's the most important step is,
it's much easier to use something off label
once it's been approved than to get something approved.
Right.
So you pick the right indication.
That's what's also impressed me about these organizations
is just the strategic
thought they've put into this, which is understanding a roadmap that is interested in the least
resistance. Right. Because to what does it take to reschedule something? If you want to take it from
the same class as a heroin and put it into a class where it can be prescribed with proper supervision, medical supervision.
You need to, well, you, you, you, one of the approaches, like cocaine and the, the nasal
anesthetic, demonstrate one clear medical application.
And if that is depression in terminal cancer patients,
that is a legitimate medical application,
and then that entire train can get in motion.
That's one nice thing about where the DEA
and the FDA fall out is for the most part,
there's a sense that, look, once we've,
as these agencies done our job in scheduling something,
we're going to put faith in the practitioner
to use his or her judgment as to how much latitude to grant around the application.
And I'll also mention one thing just in case we have regulators or lawmakers, policy makers, people within the FDA or DEA who are listening.
And that is Read Pond's book, check out Pond's book, and immerse yourself in this fascinating area of
research, and I'll give, like a lot of people you just don't have to bandwidth to dedicate a lot of
time to this, something that Pollen has referred to on a number of different occasions, and that is
the addictive potential. So what is the addictive potential of these compounds
for looking at, say, psilocybin specifically?
We could use other examples,
but if you take a rat, put it in a cage,
and you give it one dispenser,
a little lever that they can push to dispense food,
and another dispenser with cocaine
that it can use to dispense cocaine,
it will consume cocaine to the exclusion of food until a dius in many cases
If you do that with food and say psilocybin and it gets delivered a whopping dose of psilocybin it will press that lever once
The rats like okay
That was enough and it goes to the food and
that rather than having high addictive potential,
many of these compounds have anti as we've already discussed, anti addictive potential.
And my God, it is terrifying when I look at where I grew up on say Long Island and you look at
the obvious putting aside the all the stuff that I don't see or hear about,
but the obvious among people I grew up with,
among my friends who have died of overdoses,
family members who have died of overdoses.
These are, in some cases, educated people,
in some cases not, they're using prescription medications.
These are widely distributed, easily prescribed medications
that have demonstrated incredible abusive potential.
And to think that we have these molecules that can be produced at relatively low cost at
scale that are not just non-addictive, but anti-addictive really provide some hope that we can
counteract some of these incredible epidemics.
I mean, I, you might have been the person who told me this could have been someone else,
but was it last year that opiate deaths exceeded automotive accidents?
Yeah, for it used to be that automotive accident was the leading cause of death for people.
Up to a certain age, and I believe the age is 40 and now opioid overdose has offset that.
So, you know, this isn't an isolated issue anymore.
You know, for me, I think the rate limiting step is actually going to be training the clinicians
to administer these things.
I think that's going to become the bottleneck and that's why I hope that, you know, and
we have friends who are psychiatrists, psychologists who have become very interested in this and that to me is really heartwarming because they're actually going
to be among the people who need to lead the charge on this.
Yeah, and there are groups thinking about this.
Certainly both maps and other organizations that are involved with suicide and are thinking
about this.
People who have come to the table to provide some funding, like myself, and for instance,
the Bronner family of Bronner's soap, and others, certainly their technologist, Sue, who have
come to the table. Many of them have done so anonymously, are very well aware that having these
compounds legalized for supervised use is step one and that there will be a very
very real need for training clinicians.
And the wheels are already in motion with prototyping some of this.
There's a group called CIS out of California, which is prototyping some training protocols
for therapists who are licensed in various ways already so that when these compounds are
available through prescription that there are trained clinicians who get administer.
So we'll see. We'll see. I'm very optimistic, but this is where I will be applying a lot
of my focus. And these problems do not, they do not discriminate. These problems, these
addictions, depression and anxiety
that people experience on daily basis,
don't care what color you are, don't care what gender you are,
don't care how much or how little money you have.
I mean, given how publicly I've talked about,
for instance, the content of the TED talk
that I put out there on the depression,
I've had people come out of the woodwork
from my listenership, my readership,
some of the wealthiest people in the world
who suffer from debilitating depression,
whose kids are addicted to heroin,
and then on the opposite end of the spectrum,
people who listen to the podcast
who are just scraping by the same set of issues,
debilitating.
And, you know, in the last few years,
I've developed a real sense of optimism
about myself and my life, quite frankly,
number one is a starting point,
which I think is a starting point.
Like before you try to save the world,
it's a good idea to try to save yourself. And I have come away completely convinced that
many of these stories I told myself, which were crippling, were unnecessary, and that they can
be wiped, and you can write new stories, new narratives for yourself. And we talked about meditation.
There's a book you introduced me to.
Then I think we should certainly mention also.
It's a solve for happy.
It's solved for happy.
Can you talk about this?
Yeah.
So Rick Gerson, who is a mutual friend,
and you actually introduced me to Rick,
probably about five years ago,
he gave me a copy of this book.
And it was one of those things
that just sort of sat there
for, I don't know, six months.
And it was just in the queue, but didn't, you know, I didn't really appreciate why I ought
to read it as soon as it was given to me.
You know, something in the midst of a crisis sort of brought it to my attention a little
more quickly.
And I just devoured it.
And so if the Terrence real book,
I don't wanna talk about it,
has now jumped into the number one spot
of books I've gifted most,
Solve for Happy is probably in the number two spot.
And-
No, go that.
I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing that right,
but M-O last name, G-A-W-D-A-T.
Yeah.
And that's sort of pushed mistakes were made, but not by me into the now number
three spot.
Just ahead, probably of surely you're joking, Mr. Feynman.
It's weird.
It says something about us, the books we like to give people, doesn't it?
You thanked Michael Paulin at the end of your interview, or maybe it was somewhere in
the midst of it, but I thought it was at the end of the interview for writing the book
that he did because you said, it was the book you wanted to read
and that you wish you could have written.
But you're no slouch yourself
when it comes to writing books.
Is there anything that if Michael Hedden have done that
and you would have been writing that book?
In addition to all the stuff we've talked about today,
is there anything else that you would have included
in that book that wasn't included?
And that's hard, he's a tough act to follow.
A very tough act to follow.
A very tough act to follow.
And I'm so pleased that he wrote the book
because I have been very clearly biased in the sense
that I am a, I've seen the power of these compounds firsthand.
And I'm not shy about, as we've seen in this conversation, putting
myself clearly on the side of support.
I don't think they should be available at every 7-11.
Some people think every drug should just be available for anyone else to pick them up
at any time.
I disagree with that position completely, but I am nonetheless exceptionally bullish on the scientific research and ultimately the rescheduling and widening
of making these compounds available
to people through qualified professionals and supervision.
Michael has such a pedigree and is so widely respected
as a, and I don't think he would mind me saying this,
a skeptical, highly skeptical investigative journalist that I'm, I couldn't be happier that he published his book
before anything that I might write on the subject. If I were to write a book about, or including,
I should say, a discussion of psychedelics, it would differ along the lines of
Collins and my writing styles. Meaning,
Paulinus is so brilliant at taking the history and science and
characters in a given field and weaving it into a first person
narrative of his exploration of all of those things.
Much like John McFee, I don't want to digress, he's also just a hero of mine, but they're both so good at that.
I would never try to out-pull and pollen, I'll get my face ripped off.
My book would just be a poor, poor, poor imitation of something that he would do masterfully. You know, as I'm writing a book now, sort of interrupt, it makes it that much more apparent
to me when I read good books, how much I suck.
And I'm not saying that in a, that's not a negative self-talk, although it sounds like
it.
It's just the reality of it's like, look, I mean, these people are great for a reason.
And it's exactly what you said.
It's like the best books are not lecturing you.
They're bringing you on a journey.
And when they can do that in really complicated topics
and bring you along, and also interweave history non-linearly.
That's, yeah.
Oh, it's amazing, but I would say,
just to give you a smooch on the forehead,
that much like the best meditation approach or app or teacher in
the world for me may very likely drive you nuts and is not the right person for you.
That stylistically, some writers, some books will speak to you or grab your attention in
an otherwise overflowing workload and someone and that differs person to person.
So rather than trying to outpollon pollen or outmick fee,
McFee for God's sake, that would be a losing attempt.
I've realized that I'm not what I enjoy doing is providing first-hand accounts
of my self-experimentation followed by prescriptive recommendations
that aren't intended to work
for everybody, but that serve as more of a choose your own adventure buffet of options
that I have vetted to at least work on myself and a number of close friends who span some
different genders, different age groups, and so on.
And that's what I did with For Our Body, that's what I've done with all these different
books.
So if I were to write a book including psychedelics, it would likely include experiments with other
modalities, other vehicles, other tools that also produce not minutely noticeable, but profound
changes in consciousness, which is really the stage upon which everything happens, right?
And in doing so, provide you with an opportunity
to rewrite the story of your life or to gain perspectives
that are otherwise inaccessible,
and that might include sensory deprivation tanks.
It might include neurofeedback.
It might include other types of non-psychedelic
pharmaceuticals. It might include ketamine, for example.
Ketamine, for instance.
Ketamine, we didn't get that today. That would have taken a while, but...
Yeah, ketamine is a whole separate kettle of fish. And I think my book would be more diffuse in that sense, thematically connected, but with independent modular chapters
that includes some likely extreme experiment
that I conduct on myself.
And then report back and say, I guess what?
I pushed the envelope and went way too far,
so you don't have to.
Let's dial that back 80%.
And here's something you can try that I think
has an acceptable risk benefit profile. That's probably the book that I would write.
Speaking of earbooks, I don't know if I told you this story. I think I did, but if, if
not, it's worth retelling. It's totally unrelated to this, but it just made me think of it.
So like, I don't know, maybe a year ago or so. I'm in the airport. And I just remember
like my flight was delayed and I was sort of like a friend who I don't know, maybe a year ago or so. I'm in the airport. And I just remember, like, my flight was delayed,
and I was sort of like a friend who I don't talk to that often,
like maybe once a year.
He called me, and he's like, dude,
I just read about you in a book today.
I think I know where you go.
And I was like, I was like, really?
What do you mean?
He's like, yeah, yeah, you're in this book.
It's called, biggest tools.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, you're in this book. It's called Biggest Tools. And I was like, what?
He goes, yeah, yeah, there's a chapter on you in this book.
And I mean, oh, do you mean tools of Titans?
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it, that's it.
And just kept like, he just didn't even.
And it was just, and he's Israeli.
And he has like an accent.
So it's like, you could tell that like the expression,
biggest tools didn't mean
to him what it meant to me.
I just thought that was the funniest thing.
So, to this day, I feel like proud to be one of the biggest tools.
Well, that would be maybe the alternate title of the podcast that you and I have joked
about, which is dumb things that smart people do.
And that's a separate conversation, but there are so many ridiculous habits and obsessions
that anyone who could be considered smart has.
If you have not seen it already,
just where should people find egg boxing?
I will link to it,
but it's got its own Facebook page at this point.
It's hilarious.
That'll be a teaser.
I do have one final question that's not on the topic at all of what we've
discussed, but given that we have now between the two of us in the past two and a
half hours, drink, I want to say 20 Topo Cheekos. My bladder right now is
probably at its maximum capacity. I think pretty soon I'm going to develop
hydronophrosis. So we're going to have to bring
this thing to a close. One of the questions I get asked all the time is, you know, people say,
oh, you're such good friends with Tim. Like, does he still do X? Does he still do Y? He wrote about
this. He talked about this. I wondered if he still do it. And so I was thinking, for the person
out there who's sort of wondering like how his Tim evolved
when you think of all the things you have written about when you think about all the lessons
you have codified for people. What are the three, four, maybe five things that you have written
about in some of your books that still consistently shape how you have continued to optimize your trajectory.
So the three to five things that I would say I return to most reliably are perhaps
unsexy to some people, but one would be some type of hinging exercise movement.
I noticed that problems crop up when these are emitted for any
extended period of time. By hinging movement or hip-hinging movement, I mean some
type of deadlift or kettlebell swing, two-handed kettlebell swing. Very, very simple
to incorporate that into an exercise program. I do not believe unless you have
some type of competitive agenda that you need to do these more than once a week.
You can certainly do them twice a week for extra credit, but ketobull swings or deadlifts
once a week prevent a whole host of issues and improve a whole host of performance factors.
So that would be one.
Number two would be fasting and entering a state of ketosis for at least one week,
at least once a quarter, in conversations with Peter
and conversations with Dom to Agostino,
his mutual friend, very impressive,
not just published researcher and scientist,
but also athlete himself,
the intermittent use of autophagy
and entering this state of fasting and ketosis seems to
me to deliver a host of potential benefits with very minimal downside.
I also like the pure asceticism of the practice.
So we have the hinging movement like a deadlift or kettlebell.
We have fasting plus catosis for an extended
period at least once a quarter.
I just actually finished my latest segment about a month ago.
Number three would be some type of meditative practice first thing in the morning.
I'm also asked constantly one of the questions that I ask sometimes, which is what advice
would you give your 20 year old self?
What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?
What advice would you give your 30-year-old self?
And it would be, meditate 10 to 20 minutes first thing in the morning.
Don't do it after you.
Check your email and do A, B and C because you're going to fail 50% of the time.
You just will not go back to it.
Wake up.
Right now, for instance, I have a foldable chair that goes on the floor I believe it's
called a back jack or a jack back something along those lines use quite often in meditation
centers right on the floor in front of my bed that faces out a window looking at a bunch
of beautiful trees and I get out of bed through some some water on my face, sit down and meditate.
I would say that's number three.
Absolutely.
A some type of non-reactivity training for 10 to 20 minutes, or put another way, non-reactivity
rehearsal, which is another reason why meditation sessions where you feel entirely scattered
and you only return to the breath a few times,
feel like a waste of time, but they are absolutely not a waste of time, is that there are going to be
periods throughout your day, on many days, when life is going to just roundhouse kick you in the face
over and over again, and you are going to be in that scattered state. So it is good to rehearse
mindfulness in that scattered state, which is exactly what you're
doing.
So we have the hip-injig movement, at least once a week, exercise-wise, ketosis-slice-fasting,
meditation would be three.
Number four would be the importance of group ritual.
This is something that very often falls by the wayside that I forget because I've so often
retreated into myself whenever I felt pain or depression or anxiety. I don't
want to impose that on anyone else and I feel like I should be able to figure
it out on my own and just climb back into the cave that is my brain and this
very often results in isolation. I'm just by myself, even if I'm surrounded
by other people, by myself sitting in a coffee shop, by myself in my own head.
Group dinners, at least once or twice a week, cooking I have found, and this was not always
the case for people interested, you can check out the four hour chef for all the reasons
why I find this so incredibly therapeutic, but don't have to cook.
I just happened to find it adds another level
of decompression, but group meals,
at least once or twice a week, would be number four.
And then if I had to pick a number five,
I would say, I'm not gonna use the psychedelics
because we've been talking about this entire conversation.
If you feel like you're having trouble
making yourself happy, try to make someone else happy. And I think that that is the work
around that very often then improves your own state. So it's like if you're
feeling just awful or depressed or in a funk, it's like go get a coffee and pay
for the person behind you. I mean just exercise some of those random acts of kindness.
Think about someone who has helped you
and called them and leave them a voicemail.
I get them on the phone to thank them
for how they've helped you.
And closely related to that,
that ties back into the meditative practice,
is if the Mimi me practice focusing on your breath,
focusing on your thoughts, focusing on your, on your your your your Mimi me me is maybe exacerbating some of your
problems and you feel like you're you're having trouble escaping your own head. Take a look at
meta meditation, METTA also known as loving kindness meditation and I have found that to just be
powerful beyond belief. I didn't think it would
do anything. I found it kind of cheesy. I thought it was kind of cliched. I wrote about this a bit
borrowing from the teaching of someone named Shade Mank-10 who was an early engineer at Google
and created a class called Search Inside Yourself, which was hugely over-subscribed by employees at Google, I think it had some insane waiting list. And this was one of the techniques he recommended. So
loving kindness, typhinated loving kindness meditation, which Jack Cornfield has some fantastic examples
of. So Jack Cornfield, K-O-R-N field, and loving kindness meditation, also known as meta-METTA
meditation. And there have been multiple reports. I've certainly experienced this myself,
but by doing meta-meditation, say at night before going to bed,
do that for a few days, and you might have the most
at-piece week you have experienced in years. It's really something else.
It's worth experimenting with. So I would say those are my five, at least the five that come to mind right now that I would feel very comfortable defending and backing.
Tim, that's super helpful because we manage just somehow figured out how to spend so much time together that I,
when you say those things, I'm like, yeah, of course, like that's just what you're always doing.
But I think it's great for people who are listening to this, who don't get to interact with you frequently,
to get that little update on stuff.
You've been incredibly generous with your time,
but what people probably don't realize is how generous you've been with your time
off this podcast, including sending me the links to
which pieces of equipment to buy for the recordings and sitting down with me
and giving me not just the 101 but the full
course on luck.
Do this, don't do that.
Waste time and energy on this, don't waste time and energy on that.
So I really want to thank you.
I can't imagine having anybody else be the number one episode of this podcast.
And I do hope that this podcast continues beyond the initial 12 or 13.
But even if it doesn't, this will have been incredibly worthwhile.
And thank you again for your hospitality this weekend in particular.
I remember I put out something on Instagram the other day about what was the
over under on how many tapotchicos I could drink in a weekend.
And I think I said it at 15 or 16.
We have blown through that.
So much.
I can't imagine.
I still don't, to this, anyone who's listening to this who doesn't know what we're
talking about, we're talking about a sort of bottled water.
It's in a glass bottle and it's a carbonated water,
but anybody who's tried it will agree.
It's not like a periae.
It's not, there's something different.
A little touch of magic sodium
to keep you coming back for more among other things.
Hahaha.
Anyway, Tim, I can't thank you enough
for taking the time to be on a little rinky dink podcast
at this point, but anyway, it's been wonderful.
Oh, my pleasure, man.
I expect to see you right up there with our mutual friend, Jaco, who you introduced me
to.
So thank you for helping to unleash Jaco on the internet.
And ever since our episodes on my podcast,
how I had you on as a guest,
I've been beating the drum,
wanting you to start your own
because I think that you're just gonna do a fantastic job
and then it's gonna become one of the regular listens
in my own rotation of podcasts that I listen to.
So keep it up man.
Thanks brother.
You can find all of this information and more at pteratiamd.com forward slash podcast. There you'll find the show notes, readings, and links related to this episode.
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