The Ramsey Show - App - A Large Income Won’t Protect You From Debt

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Jade Warshaw. And we are here to take your calls. And you can call us at 888-825-5225. And we'll be answering your questions on life and money and career, relationships. All of it. All of it. So let's get to the phones this hour.

We have Amy in Pensacola. Hi, Amy. Welcome to the show. Hi. How are you? Welcome to the show. Hi. How are you? We are doing great. How are you? Good.

How can we help? I'm really, really excited to be on the phone. I have a bunch of questions, but my husband and I are definitely in need to help with overall financial plan. We have more than over a million dollars in debt. Whoa! What's it in? What's the debt in?

Well, we went through a really long school life. Okay. So our student loan was a million when we graduated. Oh my gosh! Wait, you can't just cruise past that. You got to tell us more.

What are your degrees, Amy? So we are both in dental specialist. So, you know, college. Well, we actually didn't have any loans for college. Dental school, we had loans. Specialist residencies, we actually didn't have loans because my husband served in the military. So they pay for that. So just until four years of them alone, we

have a million dollars together. Okay, but you earn a lot of money, right? I sure hope so. So now we came down to like $750,000. So we're proud of it. But since he's

in the military, we don't actually earn that much money. But the good news is he's getting off of military and we're going to start a new job where we should, our minimum income will be about $600,000. Okay, so wonderful. That's good. Is this a business that you're opening a practice together? Is that what it is? Actually, no. So we wanted to make sure like our life is in a little bit less of a mess before we even think about opening our own. Sure. That would require a lot more capital. So you just said we, so I didn't know if you were working together or you're just going out and getting separate jobs. We are working together in a practice together, but we don't own them. And combined, you'll be making $650,000. That will be a minimum, yes. When does that start?

Summer. Okay, so soon. And these are guaranteed jobs and salary. Like this is what you're going to make. Yes. So it's a production. So, you know, that's going to be a minimum. And if you make more, you know, you're going to get more. Well, that's the great news of this story, Amy. So for you guys, I mean, I would work to live on 70K. Uh-huh. And you throw everything at this debt and you get it paid off in a year and a half and be done and then go right off into the sunset making six hundred thousand dollars a year debt-free like your numbers sound really big but ratio wise it's the same as the person who calls in and makes sixty thousand dollars a year and has a hundred thousand dollars

of debt like that's right it's it sounds a lot because a million dollars is just a big number, but the ratio is the same. How are you living right now? Tell me about your numbers right now. What is rent cost? What are you bringing in right now? So that's another question. Thanks for asking because that will be my next question.

Because we now technically own a house but not pay off. Okay. So we are planning on, well, in the beginning, before I started listening to you guys show, I wanted to either rent this place and buy another place in our new job will be because we have to move and buy another house. But then I was thinking that our ceiling was so high, we decided to sell this house, pay all the mortgage.

If you sell it, what will it bring? Doesn't bring much because our financial advisor told us to pay as minimum as possible. So we actually didn't pay that much off. Okay. We bought this not that long ago, actually, not even three years ago. So we are trying to sell this and then not even buy another house. Amy, talk in real numbers, because right now you're saying like, it's all kind of up here. I want to know real numbers. If you buy, if you're moving, give us more details. If you're move, where are you moving from? And then where are you moving to? If you bought, if you're moving, give us more details. If you're move, where are

you moving from? And then where are you moving to? If you sell the house, how much will it bring? And what do you plan on doing with that money? Like, give us a few more details so we can really dig in with you. So we have a mortgage still left for about $370,000. Okay. So you owe $370,000. If you sell it, how much will you take home do you think after the sale maybe 40k and that's after fees and whatnot from the realtor and everything like that okay so the 40k you're thinking you're going to roll that into a new mortgage when you move this summer for this job is that what you're thinking we were thinking that but now we're thinking that maybe we should just rent a place.

I'm thinking that too. Yep. Yep. Yeah. And that's $40,000 more to the student loan. Yay. That makes some progress. Yeah.

So Amy, here's going to be your struggle. It's not going to be income. And usually when we're talking to people like this, we're like, you got to get side hustles, all this, all this. And honestly, with what you guys have, you can have this paid off in a year and a half yep but your problem is going to be amy that you guys are going to if if me and jade were in this position i would just tell you like both of us with our spouses our decisions would probably be very similar we're getting a one bedroom apartment we're living as cheap as possible

for two years and amy the biggest struggle that's going to happen is you're going to get into this new job into this dental world where people are making insane money which is great and they should they do great work but they're going to be living insane lives i mean to make six hundred thousand dollars a year the crossing season yeah the trips the cars the out to eat the uh parties the gay i mean everything could imagine, Amy, is the world you're about to step into and you're not going to be a part of it. And you're going to say for a year and a half, 18 months, 24 months, we are not going to live like we make $600,000. We're going to live like we make $60,000. And I'm telling you, the faster that you can just stay in this mentality and get through this, Amy, the unbelievably

better part this is going to be. Not only are you going to appreciate that $600,000 even more, but you're done with this mess. I mean, yes, your shovel is big and a million dollars is big, but it's a million dollars. I think to anyone, I mean, it's a gasp. Like, it's a lot. And if you just act normal in this, you're going to keep this around for five six years and you'll make the payments and you'll figure it out but it's just going to be floating where we want

more intensity and be done and then you can go get a bad a home i mean you can get so much like here's the upside much with this the upside is you're moving somewhere where you're brand new and you don't know anyone and you don't have any heirs to keep up. Like, do you know what I'm saying? It's harder if you had been, if you had called us and it was five years later and you were in this job making 650, you had the house, you had the cars, you were used to this lifestyle and you had to cut back, it'd be difficult, but you haven't even got into it yet. So you, and you don't know anybody yet. There's no standard to keep up. Like you can fly under the radar, do your thing. And then after a year and a half, you can pop out like, what's good. Let's take a trip. Let's spend some money. So Amy, the faster you get rid of this, I'm telling you the faster

that burden lifts and you guys, I'm so glad you found us. I know you're kind of your new listener, but I'm telling you, this is the proven plan. So do it, do it well. We're excited for you, Amy. Congrats on the big education and the big salary. Yes. But make some right decisions here. This is The Ramsey Show. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get ten different answers.

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To change their family tree and have peace, is what we're shooting for when it comes to the subject that is not peaceful for a lot of people so um yeah leave us a review share the show we so so appreciate you guys listening and watching all right up next we have jared in cleveland hey jared welcome to the show hey rachel hi jade Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. How can we help? Well, I'm in, well, Jam doesn't begin to explain it, I guess. I'm a bivocational pastor. I work 60 hours a week for my secular job and about 30 hours a week in the ministry. I'm married. I have two wonderful boys. Love my church because I love my God. You know, God's been good to me. But I've got back against the wall, my back's into the

wall, if that's a possible thing. I've got a mortgage that's out of hand. I've got two car payments that are out of hand. Kind of got dealt a bad hand when it came to those particular debts. Got lied to in both of them. And it cost me a lot more and stuck me where I kind of didn't have a choice. But I'm looking at a mortgage where I'm paying $1,700 a month. I'm $18,000 in negative equity in my car. And I've maxed out my credit. I've got nowhere to go.

And I could really use some sound godly advice from you ladies. Oh, Jared, I'm so sorry. So tough. I know it's really, it's stressful. And especially when you feel like you're trying to do the right thing and it's not gaining traction,

then that is difficult. But yep, hopefully we can help here. Okay,, what do you do for your, your vocational job that you said? Um, so I'm an on-call supervisor, uh, and what I do is I take care of people with developmental disabilities. Okay. And how much do you make in that job? Um, my, my take home is 1900,900, and it's biweekly. Okay, so $1,900 every two weeks. Correct. Okay.

So how much do you make as a pastor? What does that bring in? My salary is $1,500 a month, and then I have a housing allowance and stuff like that, too. I don't know if that figures into this or not, though. Yeah, it does. So what's your housing allowance? Because is that going towards your mortgage? It is, yes. And it's $1,900. Okay, good. So is your housing allowance covering your mortgage then if your mortgage is $1,700?

Yes, it does cover that. And it usually covers most of the electric bill as well. Okay, okay. Yep, that's big. Okay. And then how much do you owe on the cars? For mine, I owe just under $25,000, like 24-7. Okay. And then for the other one, I owe $8,900. Okay. And how much in credit card debt? $12,500 for the one, and then the other one is a total of $13,000. Okay. And does your wife work outside the home at all? She does. She works from home. Yes. Okay. What does she earn each month? Bring home. She's about, it depends on the hour she's able to get but uh i'd say she's about uh 800 a month or so somewhere in there what does she do

uh she does uh medical billing okay okay so i've got you uh eight thousand dollars a month between the two of you obviously um 1700 of that is going to the mortgage um okay so help me when i look at this i'm like okay mortgage is covered there's some debt here it's like 6500 left after mortgage so where's it going yeah are you guys on a budget yes uh we are on a budget um where we're at now too So the credit card debt that I gave you, one of them was the 12, five, the other two are through,

I I'm doing a debt consolidation because they were maxed out and I couldn't afford the minimum payments. So I moved that into one payment. And then also, I'm trying to, I'm nervous. I'm nervous. You're fine.

You're fine. We have time. We have time. You're good. And're fine. We have time. We have time. You're good. And then in addition to that, I pay for my son. He goes to a private Christian school. That might be an area. How old are the boys? My oldest is seven. My youngest is four. So seven and four. How much is tuition for the private school it is

uh 3,700 I want to say for the year okay um what else so you're paying 308 bucks a month for yeah I'm I'm curious where the 6,500 is going though because how much is how much payments for your car? How much are they for your car? My car is $480 a month. Okay. And then I pay for my wife's car as well. Which is how much? $240.

Okay. So I've still got you at $5,280. Keep going. Okay. Then there was student loans involved in that. What's the payment? That is now no more because the president, he just took those. Well, let's pretend.

Let's just pretend. What would the minimum payment, what was it? $200. Okay, minus $200. So now we're at $5,080. Keep going. I'm just helping you work through this. It's not to try to call you out. No, not at all. I appreciate it. Let me think. Then cell phone bills, $190 a month. And then I've got car insurance, which is up at $180 a month.

Okay. Okay. Then, of course, you know, we're talking about tithe. So 10% of the amount that I gave you there. So $800? Yeah. Okay. $3,900. What's been on these credit cards, Jared? What are you putting on that for $13,000 and $12,000? Well, a lot of that was just trying to make the ends meet, not having enough to make the bills. I just recently, my income is higher the last couple months because I started asking four more hours at work. Okay, that's good. So that's new. So it was below that. Okay, okay. Okay, so Jared, I mean, just looking at these numbers, there's not like a, oh, I forgot the $3,000 bill here, whatever that is, right?

Like there's a month, there's not a big gaping hole. I may just call it out, Jared. I just feel like you guys have been sloppy. Would you agree? Well, I wouldn't disagree. Yeah, I think that's it. And Jared, and I'm going to say this, because you mentioned this, and as believers in this room, I think we're spiritually somewhat consistent.

Scripture has nothing good to say about debt. Nothing. Every time debt is mentioned, it is in a negative fashion. Now, it's not a sin. We'll still go to heaven. It's fine if you still got your credit card debt. Like, okay, everything's fine in that regard. But the wisdom that comes from every time it is spoken,

it is in a negative fashion. And so in that sense, I would say, let's lean on the spiritual conviction that we all believe here from something that is consistent. And that is eliminating debts. You've been running to something that is getting you deeper and deeper in a hole, right? And so I think for you guys, if you tighten the subject, I'm encouraged by it because I think your numbers are there.

I really do. And so I want you to hang on the line because Christian's going to pick up and we're going to give you every dollar premium. And I want you to cut up these credit cards. And I want this to be a moment where a line is drawn for you all. And you're going to say no more. We are not running to these credit cards to make minimum payments and make ends meet. Because you don't need to. You have thousands of dollars. And you have a really blessed situation of even in this pastoral role to have the mortgage paid for, the housing allowance.

I'm like, you guys are in a really great position. You're going to be working a crap ton. You're probably exhausted, Jared, working 90 hours a week. But for a period of time, I mean, truly, if you guys, if you guys threw, I mean, five grand at some of this, I'm like, you could be knocking this stuff out. I mean, month after month. And so I would get on a really tight budget that there is nothing, no expenses going

out that are not necessities, Jared. And you guys can do this. I really believe in you. I think you can. This just has to be a turning point from here on out. This is The Ramsey Show. you're listening to the ramsey show i am your host ramsey personality jade warshaw and i am joined by my co-host today host of the rachel cruz show i've got rachel cruz with me to my right and guys we're taking calls all afternoon about your life what's going on in your financial situation maybe you have questions about things you've read on the internet regarding finance or things you've seen on the news or just whatever's going on in your life. Give us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. And on this show, man, we're always talking about things that directly affect you. And we're always filtering it through how we teach money here, which is

a series of baby steps. You might hear us talk about baby step one or baby step six. You might hear us talk about things like Financial Peace University. You might hear us use lingo like gazelle intensity or certain things. And you're like, what the heck are they talking about? So here's the thing. If you're a new listener and you want to dive deeper into the Ramsey baby steps, we want you to go to RamseySolutions.com and click the get started button. Okay. And what's going to happen here is we're going to help to ramseysolutions.com and click the Get Started button. Okay, and what's gonna happen here is we're gonna help you figure out your best next step for your financial journey based on exactly where you're at today.

You're gonna get some education, some knowledge. We're gonna put you on the right track. So remember, go to ramseysolutions.com and click Get Started. All right, let's go straight to the phone lines. We've got Mark on the line from Los Angeles, California. Hey, Mark, what's going on? I'm headed out your way this evening, Mark, to Los Angeles. Awesome. Awesome. Thanks for taking my phone call, Jade and Rachel. Appreciate it. You're

welcome. What's going on? It's a little bit cloudy out here today. Oh, yes. Well, I hope the weather holds up for me. Yes, I know. I don't think you'll get the sunshine this week, but I appreciate it. Hey, thanks for taking my phone call. I got a question for you. I'm looking to purchase a third vehicle, a fun vehicle, and it's approximately $55,000. And I'm debt-free other than our house, and I'd be paying cash for it. And I really want it. It's a pretty rare car. But I think the thing is, in my heart, I'm a paying cash for it. And I really want it. It's a pretty rare car.

But I think the thing is, in my heart, I'm a really good saver and I'm a really good giver, but I don't really spend a whole lot of money. And so I'm just kind of torn on it. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, this would be great. A lot of great family memories of my wife and three kids. You're already emotionally attached to it, I see. I know, I know it is. Mark, how much do you make a year?

It's usually around $225. This year is going to probably be around $350. $350. Very good. Good income. And so you said this is going to be your third vehicle? It would be a third vehicle. Yeah. Purely just fun to toy. Yeah. How much, how much do you already have tied up in your other two vehicles? Value wise? Um, my wife's car is worth about 45,000 and my car is worth about 15,000 daily drivers. Yeah. So I don't know. Yeah. Probably 60,000. I have total tied up in cars right now. Okay. Yeah, because kind of our rule of thumb, Mark, is that we don't want more than 50% of your take-home pay for the year,

annual take-home pay, to be more to have motors and wheels. So you want at least half of that. But you make great money, so you're going to be under that. Just barely. Yeah, just barely under that rule of thumb, if you make, I mean, you make great money, so you're going to be under that. Just barely. Yeah, just barely under that rule of thumb, if you will, because we just don't want so much tied in of your net worth being in, you know, things that have wheels and motors because those tend to go down in value so quickly. But, I mean, technically, yeah, you're in that space. You guys have good other savings? Do you have an emergency fund and everything?

Yeah, I have, um, I have about 200,000 cash on hand. Okay. Very good. Why so much cash on hand? Yeah. Um, you know, I had, had some investments and I, we've just, we've done really well this year. And so we've had a lot of cash come in. And so I just, I haven't invested it other than just small stuff like um you know three to five percent interest in the market and stuff like that but um

you know I've got I have other other retirement funds already set up as well so we're in good shape it's just um you know it's one of those things I like I said I'm such a saver and I'm such a giver just but like spending that kind of money it actually has me worried about it so I'm like well said, I'm such a saver and I'm such a giver. I just, but like spending that kind of money, it actually has me worried about it. So I'm like, well, I'll just give you guys a call because I love listening to your guys' show and you guys have such great advice.

And, you know, I just don't want to get something and have that buyer's remorse or, you know, everything's so inflated. Housing market, car market is so inflated. It is, but I think you're doing great and i think that um there's things that are part of it's just part of financial life and inflation is part of life and i think that when you're in a situation like yours where you've done really well with your money you've been smart with your money you've got to live life while life is here to live you

know what i'm saying that's right absolutely and you know, I'm guessing the 55K, is it going to come out of this 200? That's cash that you have sitting or is it separate even from that? No, it would. Okay. It would. It would come out of that. Yeah. And then I have about $200,000 in retirement.

And then, yeah, I have about $600,000 equity in our house. Very good. That's great. And are you contributing 15% or more, you know, 15% to your retirement currently? Yes. Yes. Very good. Yes. I've got saving that and then also have a pension system too that I'm on. So, yeah. Mark, it's a green light from us. That's fun. Yeah. You think so? Okay It's one of those things You know I've Always put family first And you know

This is an experience For you though Is what it sounds like Right It's that And it's all ratios Mark I mean if you called us And you were making

You know $75,000 You wanted to spend $55,000 And you still had Credit card debt And student loans I mean it would be

A different answer It's all about Where you're at And ratios of your life And you're in a situation You you've set yourself up so well. So kudos to you for doing, you know, the really hard work of that foundation of saying, hey, we're going to get out of debt and have an emergency fund, have some other savings on hand. We're going to do in retirement. I mean, you've done it all so well. You make great money. So it's all around ratios. And this is not. Yeah, I mean're you're in that formula you're in that

line so let me ask this mark because we always this is what winston and i say sometimes if we go to buy something that's kind of bigger and we're like oh my gosh so say you bought this and you had no insurance it burned to the ground you never have it there you go does it make you lose sleep at night besides the fact that you loved it and it's gone now but just financially does it absolutely put you in a panic no no no i'm we're we're in good shape like i don't owe anything except for a house payment and so um we're we're in good shape and then there you go i think that's a great emotional well the the answer from us is yes thank you so much for that call mark hey i love getting to say yes.

I know. I think people think we say no all the time. We're always like, show of no's. We're like, no, no. Sacrifice, get out of debt. Yes. But when you've done it all, it's like this is the live like no one else. So later you can live and give like no one else.

And I love to say, too, that he's like, I'm a saver and I'm a giver. But the spending, it's always hard. And we get that a lot that people shifting that so so actually enjoying your money enjoying the money that you've worked for enjoying the progress that you've made with the money you have like absolutely all of that is a reason to celebrate and to enjoy life and I love I want to highlight this because I think sometimes you know Rachel it's intense what we're teaching and preaching over here it's intense and i think sometimes people follow that intensity past baby step three and they don't take those moments to go okay like i paid off my debt i saved up this money like i can do a little something something

for myself and sometimes people speed right through and they want to pay off their house before they do something like upgrade or buy a car and I'm like guys no chill out like just cool out for a second and enjoy all this hard work that you've done when it's within reason that's right we laid out the math for him there's there's method to the madness it's not just go spin spin spin but man you got it learn to enjoy some of this you've done the work and um you can give your money you can save your money and you get to spend your money that's a big part so love it mark that's i appreciate i appreciate the call because the um because like you said jay it can be it's a psychological game almost that once you have sacrificed and saved and put things away and said no no no saying yes to yourself can be difficult and it can be hard so that's why i

think looking at the math is so helpful because math doesn't have emotion like it doesn't care but when you see it and you're like okay good that's less than 50 percent of what we make a year is tied up in you know in motors and wheels and all the things we're in a place that we can do that okay this is smart this is wise that's the math and that's where logic really can come into play when your emotions are all over the place i love that math math doesn't have any emotions. I love that. And look, don't let the economy, don't let what's going on in the world when you've done well, don't let it scare you into not being able to enjoy yourself. Don't let it cripple you with fear. And that goes on each side. Whether you're trying to get your money in place while

you're trying to do the right thing, it's always the right time to do the right thing. So don't let anything hold you back. Don't let anything scare you. This is life. Life is cyclical. There's ups, there's downs. That's the way the economy goes. Don't let that scare you. I'm proud of Mark. He gets to buy himself a new car. This is The Ramsey Show. Thanks for being with us. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw, your co-host, and I'm here with Rachel Cruz. This is a great time. Hey, guys, if you've got calls, we want to take your calls.

The number here is 888-825-5225. And let's take a call, Rachel. Let's see what Megan is talking about in Dallas, Texas. What's going on, Megan? Hi, Jade. call, Rachel. Let's see what Megan is talking about in Dallas, Texas. What's going on, Megan? Hi, Jade. Hi, Rachel. So I just graduated with my master's in August. However, my mother passed away in June.

Oh, I'm so sorry. And yeah, I've been living with him for some time because I had a problem. I've been sober for seven years. So I was like living with him while I was going to school and now I have my new job and I'm making like $60,000 a year. I have a car payment and I have some credit card debt. I also have $15,000 cash and 27,000 in retirement. Um, the thing is, is like, I, I feel like I'm not really intentional with my money because I still live with my dad. Um, so I still kind of feel like a perpetual 18 year old. Cause I'm like, ah, it's okay. I pay my credit cards off every month, but I use my credit card so much

that it's like, I don't save any money. So I was thinking like I probably ought to just move out to like get more serious and independent with my money. However, part of me doesn't want to leave him right now because it hasn't even been a year since my mom passed away. What's her passing? Was it sudden Megan or was it, um,

she was, she was, she was sick since like 2021. She was doing really well. And then she went to the hospital and all this other stuff and she got COVID and then her organs started shutting down. Oh my gosh. So yeah, it was like really, really crappy. So it was kind of sudden, like me and my dad both believed that she would get

better. Um, unfortunately that's not what God had planned. Um, but like, I just don't know because like my dad has never lived on his own. He has seven brothers and sisters to went straight to the army. And then him and my mom got married while they were both in the army. So it's like, it's hard because I don't want to just leave him with no one. You know, number one, I'm so sorry. That sounds just unthinkable. It's so tough navigating a loss like that. And, you know, I'm just thinking about in a lot of situations, especially dealing with money, we would tell people not to move quickly, you know, take time to grieve and take time to adjust to this change. And I feel like in the same situation, it applies. I don't feel like you need to be in a rush to do anything. Like you said, it hasn't even been a year. It hasn't been a long span of time um i i'm okay with you doing whatever you need to do

to process this if that's staying at home a little bit longer um while you're there i do think it's important that you think about a plan of what's going to happen next yeah you know because i like i got the every dollar app and I'm like looking at my spending and I'm like holy crap girl like you're nuts with money oh you're not I'm not you're not nuts Megan with money that's that yeah but you are a daughter who lost her mom and so that that brain fog the processing that that has to go through um what you go through, it's a lot. And so was there probably some spending you did maybe to feel better and to feel good? And, you know, was there a level of that?

Maybe I'm not sure. Possibly you could say yes or no to that. But I don't want you to sit there and just absolutely wring yourself out on this. I mean, you've gone through a tragedy. And so I think you're starting to kind of come out of it the way you're talking and you're kind of seeing, okay, I need to kind of get into, I need to get my money under control. I need to start looking and to see, okay, how can I be an adult? But yet here's my grieving dad over here. But I would say with that relationship too, Megan, we love our parents and honor them, but also he can't be your responsibility. You can't be the thing that saves him because then that's how you're going to spend your entire life.

And he has to be able to do that work on his own. And he may grieve and feel lonely and all that. And you can be a great daughter and walk beside him. And maybe there's still a season, like Jade said, that you don't move out right now, right? Maybe it all still feels fresh and you're like, I want to get a few things under my belt. And so I'm going to stay here and maybe have a date

that you talk to him about to say, hey, dad, I'm looking at this. And be honest with him and say, dad, I'm nervous to leave. I don't want to leave you. I feel bad leaving you. And you guys talk through that. But also, I want you to say, Dad, I'm nervous to leave. I don't want to leave you. I feel bad leaving you. And you guys talk through that. But also, I want you to know, Megan, you can't be his responsibility. He can't be your responsibility. There can't be that codependence there. There kind of has to be that breaking that you do have to stand on your own at some point. But again, you don't have to rush that. We're not telling you to rush it. But I do want you to think about that.

You're not a bad daughter or you're not being mean or cruel if you say, man, I need to get my own apartments and start really doing my life this way and all of that. That is not negligent or cruel. Because you're both gonna grieve in different ways. Yes, for sure. And that time process is gonna be different for both of you.

So you might be at a point where it's like, okay, I feel like I'm coming out of this fog a little bit. I feel like I'm ready to go to this next stage. And he might still be feeling like, oh, I could really use somebody here at the house, but that's when it's going to be time to have those tough conversations. I do like that you're looking at your money and that you're realizing that something's going to have to change in order for you to stand on your own when that time comes.

And I love that you're looking at, are you using every dollar? Yeah, I like, so I'm 30, you know what I mean? And like, I'm still single. And I'm like, I wouldn't want to be a 30 year old man still living at home sure so that's like yeah yeah and I think you know yeah it's like I'm 30 I don't want to be like 40 having my first child right so like so it's like six and one half a dozen and the other because it seems like almost every day for him is a bad day. Yeah. Has he done it?

Do you guys have a great church, a good pastor or a good, or a, or a therapist or any, anyone speaking into this process of your mom's loss? He, he goes to church every Sunday with my aunt. And then also I got him to go to grief share. That's great.

Good, good. At a local church. And I'm like trying to ease in the counseling thing like he said probably he might ought to yeah yeah yeah because because i mean the big goal too i feel like i sound like dr john deloney a little bit but but to become whole people through this journey as well megan right there there can be that level of healing and so for you that may look like the next step is to say hey hey, dad, I'm going to sit down and here's the dates,

you know, by May of this year. Here's what my plan is. And I still want to be there for you and still support you where I can. And then Megan, you know, as you're calling in for this show specifically with your money, like what Jade was saying, and then you start,

you can even start now working the baby steps. You can start now. You have the EveryDollar app. Start looking at all your credit card debt. List it out. List out the car. Keep your retirement. Don't cash it out.

But you have $15,000 of cash, which is wonderful. That's a big step. Yep, to throw some of that at the debt. Start getting some of these quick wins with your money. And that's also going to breed a level of confidence for you to maybe even say, okay, I can do this and step out and start living on my own and really taking that turn. Because you can, Megan, you can do this. You definitely can. And in every dollar, one of my favorite features, Megan, is the financial roadmap. And you can plug in all

your numbers and you can actually start to see the date that you'll be debt free, the date that you'll have, you know, three to six months of savings. And that's something that will build a lot of confidence and help you to see, OK, what would happen if I were to put more on my debt? What would happen if I were to put less on my debt? So you can really customize that timeline so that this can become a real a reality for you moving forward. Yeah. And hang on the line, Megan, because we'll give you and your dad two separate codes to have Financial Peace University for a year, because I would love him to maybe go through it as well on his own,

because like you said, he's never lived on his own. He's always had someone with him, and so giving him a little bit of boost in this area of his life, we would love to gift both of you that. So Austin will pick up and get both of those. And also, own your past, change your future. Yes. Yeah.

Throw one of those in too. Throw two of those in, guys, for both of them. Because we do. We want to see you and your dad do really well out of this really excruciating, terrible loss. I'm so sorry, Megan. I'm glad you called in. That was a tough call.

I appreciate you guys joining us for today. That does it for today's show. Be sure to join us next time when it comes to changing your money. You can tell me you won't do it, but please don't tell me you can't. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries.

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CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with fellow Ramsey personality and great friend Jade Warshaw. And we are taking your calls, America. Free call anywhere in the country at

888-825-5225. So give us a call. All right. Up next, we have Alexandra on the line. Hey, Alexandra, welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel and Jade. How are you? We are doing great. Doing great. How can we help? Okay. So I'm in a bit of a situation here. So we purchased a, well, okay. So we closed on our house on the 24th of August. Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. I don't know how we got it, but we went in with all we had. I'm kind of desperate. Just wanted to get out of a $2,100 rent. Oh, nice. Yep, and then we're at a $1,400 mortgage now. First-time homebuyers, we've been together since sixth grade. We're 37 years old.

We have two kindergartners that just started, the twin boys. So this is our situation. We closed, we moved. So we're, I think about two hours north from his previous job. And I say previous because two weeks after we closed, he lost his job. No fault of his own. It was just, you know, a car that was given to him so that he can drive to work. He was doing that, you know, obviously every day. And so now he didn't have a transportation to get there because I need the car to bring the kids to work, to school, because they just started school this year. So he's unemployed right now. This is my husband. But I'm so scared because, and I'm hoping that he can get into something, right, very soon. We were able to make, so we closed in August. Our first mortgage payment was on the 1st.

We were able to make that, so we sent it out. That's done. And it's $1,400, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. And so now we're having to pay again no on the first um we only have like sixteen hundred dollar in savings um the big thing is if he so we're we're hoping he can get into this new job next week um so it's going to be a little bit of a a cut. So it'll be at $62 a year. He was earning more, closer to $80 a year. But now we're out in the country, farm life, this is what we wanted, this is what we get.

He's going to get paid less. Sure. So he's down at $62. Can you pay all the bills with him at $62? I think we can because if we were already doing it then, and, yeah, he was making more, but we were spending much more. And then now I'm like, uh-uh, when I'm doing that, you know, so we can, I know we can. But this is the thing, let me get to it quick. The RV, we have an RV

that is 30K, a note of 30K on it, and the payment is 400 bucks a month um i don't know what to do with it with it because we're just just parked in our land here and in 2017 we got it desperately in uh 2021 because we were needing to get out of an apartment that we were living in and the house that we had you know we were trying to get into at that time, the sale didn't go through, so that I won't have to release, you know, another contract. We just went to a campground. And so we got the RV, and then we just kept house searching.

We found the house, and then so here we still have it. What can you sell it for? I don't know, to be honest. I'm sure it's going to be less than what we owe. Yeah, you'll take a hit on it. But you're just trying to stop the payments and stop the depreciation from taking it. We don't have any late payments on it. We were able to make that last month, but this is the month right now coming up. This one in November is the one that's going to hit us. I don't know how we're going to do it.

When will you know if your husband has the job? He will find out Monday. And I want to go within 90% they're going to take him on. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, and so it's going to be a pay cut, you know. So I want you, the first thing I want you doing is, you've got a lot going on. And I can tell by the way you're telling the situation, it like you're just like in this and you're just keep keeping going

um and i want to kind of clear your head a little bit tonight when you get off the phone you guys sit down run run the numbers use every open up every dollar budget if you don't have it austin will get it to you and i want you to run the numbers for your paycheck and his paycheck at the $62,000. All right. Then I want you to run the numbers just in case he doesn't get this job and go, what do we need coming in the house to make sure we're able to fill it? Because once you have those numbers in your head, Alexandra, you're going to feel so much better because at least you'll know what the real numbers are, what the anecdote is, and then you'll be able to make a game plan going forward what i really want to hone in on and i think rachel will do a good job with this too is i want you guys there's a lot of desperate moves going on

everything is oh we got desperate and we had to do this and then we got desperate and we had to do this and we got desperate and the chain here the the pattern that's happened is when you guys get desperate you do you make bad choices and i want that that's got to stop today so what that looks like is it in the here and now making a plan for the here and now but not only that but going forward i want you guys to be on a plan with your money so you know what your goals are you know what's going you know what's coming down the pike and you're in control and you're happening to your life instead of everything around you just happening to you guys and you're reacting and you know you're on the balls of your feet all the time um that's got to change and i think that a plan for your money is going to help

you have you ever heard of financial peace university um so no um just recently i started listening to you guys i you know i know, I grew up, I want to say in the ghetto, to be honest, I never had money in my life. My, both my mom and dad just worked just to take care of five of us, you know? So, um, you know, I just grew up, you know, working and paycheck to paycheck, you know, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent all my life until we were finally able to get this. And it was through an FHA. That's why I say we got in. Yeah, lucky to get it. So here we are. We're so happy. We have a nice little house. Sure, sure. But but also, you're so happy, but you're also very stressed. Okay, so what we want you to see is and Jade's exactly right being proactive with your money versus reactive. And

you just said it. And I think the way we grow up with money is a huge part of our story. And that's what was modeled for you. But now the beautiful thing is now you get to change that. So Alexandra, stay on the line. Austin's going to pick up. And we're going to give you every dollar premium, which is our budgeting app that will attach to your checking account. And you guys will be able to bring in transactions.

You'll be able in real time to be budgeting your expenses, which Jade was saying. And we're going to give you Financial Peace University, which is our nine lesson course and you and your husband, you guys need to learn how this stuff works. And Alexandra, I'm going to warn you, it's going to feel uncomfortable. You said you're new to all of this and when you, you have to get to this point and you're

there, I feel it in your voice and why you called, it's you're not happy with your current situation. What you guys have done that led you up to this point, yes, he lost his job unbeknownst to him, I get it. Stuff has happened. You are not happy with your current situation. What you guys have done that led you up to this point, yes, he lost his job unbeknownst to him. I get it. Stuff has happened. You are not happy

with where you are, which means you have to change what you've been doing and change is hard, Alexandra. It's hard. And so you're going to be doing some painful things that are going to feel uncomfortable

because they're new, but they're the right things to be doing. We are the best in the business at getting people in control of their money. So listen to the plan. Follow the plan. Don't stray from it. And so looking at your numbers, getting facts on paper is going to give you some breathing room. You're probably gonna be selling

the RV. You guys may have to take a second job in order to float the bills for the next month, which is okay. Hopefully he gets his job and you guys are on track, but you guys got to get your crap together because you're going to end up in the same place again, but we believe you guys are on track, but you guys gotta get your crap together because you're gonna end up in the same place again, but we believe you guys can do it. You can, you can. You gotta make the change. There's a time in your life and at the baby steps for renting,

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Refy, R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey may not be available in all states. Okay, so today's question comes from Evan in Kansas. He says, my wife and I are debt free except our mortgage, which we owe $120,000 on. My wife recently quit her job to stay at home with our baby. And now after all our basic expenses are paid, there's nothing left over. We've been contemplating ways to save and the only area we could really cut is food. We're considering going to some of the many food pantries in our city a few times a month to get the majority of our food so we could still have a couple hundred dollars to throw out the mortgage. Is this ethical considering I have a stable job and it's not like we'd go hungry without the food pantry? We agree that once

our mortgage is paid, we would donate these food pantry items to give back. Is this the wrong way to become debt-free? I'm going to go with yes, I would not do that. You said it best, Evan. You said you've got a stable job and you don't need this. And I think food pantries are really there for people who need it. Like they're in need. Yeah. And there's also the side of this where, again, we kind of talked about this earlier in the show, but if you choose the stay at home route or you choose any route that's going to have

one of the spouses not working, then you make that bed. And so you lay in it. And that's not to have one of the spouses not working then you make the that bed and so you lay in it yeah and that's not a bad thing it's just you've both decided okay this is going to take down our income significantly and we're okay with that and then you've decided if this means it's going to take a lot longer to pay off the mortgage you two decide on that and I would not yeah use like community resources basically for yeah, that are not of need. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. Yeah, I don't think I would either. I wouldn't do that.

So, yeah. And I think he knows that. To Jade's point, yeah, he wouldn't probably be asking if he didn't feel great about it. Yeah. Yeah. So I think, again, it's maybe a shift in the budget. Maybe it's waiting a year or two and you'll get a raise and you can use some of that margin. Because when you get to the point of paying off your house that's where we always say you can kind of relax off the accelerator and you make decisions then you know that may be different

than baby steps one through three right um and and the baby's gonna grow up and she might decide when the baby goes to kindergarten she goes back to work and then you guys are you know that's right going forward again absolutely well thanks for the question evan all right next we have connor in jackson mississippi hey connor welcome to the show forward again. Absolutely. Well, thanks for the question, Evan. All right. Next, we have Connor in Jackson, Mississippi. Hey, Connor, welcome to the show. Hey, guys, thank you for having me on. Absolutely. How can we help? So I am a 19-year-old college student in the Mississippi area, but I'm also a business owner. And I'm kind of teetering on, this is my second year of college. I'm at a community college in my local hometown. And I'm just trying to figure

out if I want to go off and pursue a four-year degree from a university, or should I stay at home and continue working on my business? What's your business? So I own a landscape company. It started off as, you know, just a side hustle. When I could first start driving at 16, I just bought a push mower from Home Depot and started mowing yards. That's for you, Connor. Thank you.

Over time, it just got bigger and bigger. Now we have three full-time employees plus myself. How much are you making a month off this? So it varies, obviously, you know, in the winter. We don't do as much. But right now we're doing about, I'll say this last month we did 40,000 in sales um what do you take home I think I will I mean I try and spend as much as possible I try and reinvest as much as possible since I'm young I don't really have any bills I do live in an apartment yeah but um I really don't have any bills. If you did, though, because what you're talking about, not going to college at some point, then it's like, okay, well, you're going to get your own place and you're going to need

income. So if you did draw on income, what do you think it'd be? If I needed to, I could probably scratch out probably about $60,000 a year right now. Okay, that's great. So the question is, do you 60,000 a year right now okay that's great so so the question is do you go to college or work on the business that's growing what do you want to do Connor do you are you enjoying this business are you wanting to do this full-time are you going to go to is your is your mindset for going to college to help grow the current business or to start something new get a different degree like what would be the four-year college goal um it would probably so my major right now is just a business administration it's not in like landscape

architecture or anything like that i'm not necessarily tied down to landscaping but i do i do enjoy working with my hands but what i enjoy more is being a business owner. I've always been an entrepreneur ever since I was young between flipping shoes and clothes and buying stuff low and selling it high. Yeah. It's just always it's in my blood. I think that's I think that's a great indicator because obviously the college and university route is not for everybody. in your education is for everybody um what i would say is really looking at your five to ten year picture if you when you picture yourself in five years what do you see yourself doing and when you look and then when you reverse engineer that you go okay does that require me having a degree how did i get there like really think through that because you know there's the societal timeline of when you're

18 you go to college but if you're not ready to do that yet and if you can't afford to go there yet yeah well I mean because I was going to say Connor there's you know you go to college to either get some type of degree to get you in a field that you need right and there still are definitely routes career routes that require a college degree and you mentioned like landscape architect right maybe there's a architectural degree that you need because you want to work for this firm in five like there's a there's a route so you're getting somewhere but i would personally i would not go and get a business degree and spend 60 70 000 because you know what connor i'll be honest you're learning a heck of a lot more

running your own business than you're going to be some theory sitting in business class it's gonna be behind anyway i mean honestly seriously it's so true and like the life experience that you have is so much greater than usually what you can learn in a classroom not always yeah but in a business entrepreneurial route people run and grow businesses all the time without a college degree and you're getting you know a really basic degree you know degree there with your community college which i think is really smart to do i do too um but i mean if if your goal is to have this company continue to grow it i don't play that out need a you don't need a college degree to do that so i would save the investment of what you would pay for college and continue down this route if I were you.

But again, if you get into something that's a little bit more specific and tied to some type of licensing or, you know, degree that you need, then maybe you look into it. But for now, Connor, I mean, you're killing it. Is there anybody that $40,000 with three employees? I mean, it're killing it. Is there anybody that you're... You made $40,000 with three employees last year. I mean, it's pretty impressive. Do you have a business that's doing what you want to be doing that you're watching? Yes. So I actually have two mentors.

Before I started my own company, when I was 15, I worked for one of my good buddies. His dad has been in the landscaping industry for 30 years probably. And he's very large, and he did not go to college either. And so he is from a suburb of Jackson. And as Jackson in the metro area grew, his name just spread out everywhere, and he does multi-million sales every single year. I believe it. No commercial. It's all residential.

And so that's kind of what I want to do, and I talk to him very, very often. That's great. You know, I hold on the line, Connor, and Christian's going to pick up, and we'll give you a copy of Entree Leadership, because I think there is a – what you're experiencing as a small business, I mean, you're having to lead people, which is what you you really enjoy running that business side um but it can be tricky and as you continue to grow it there's going to be you know more avenues to go down and it's going to get a little bit more complicated and then the entrepreneurial side that is so ingrained in you you obviously have that

inside of you which is just amazing so we'll send you a copy of entre leadership and make sure to check out even the podcast. And we have a, yeah, part of Ramsey is helping small businesses because we believe in them. We think it is the backbone of America and it's incredible. So Connor, 19 years old guy, man, kid.

I was gonna call you kid. You're not a kid. A man. A man, yeah. But you're doing really great, Connor. So I appreciate the call. Very good. This is The Ramsey Show.

This show is sponsored Ramsey Show. We're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social media feeds, everything. It's easy to forget that no one can do life alone. And I don't care if you're an introvert, an extrovert, or whatever you wanna call yourself, we all have to have a community and a support system to do life with. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all by ourselves to knowing that we can only be well and whole when we ask for help.

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And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. This month, start to build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Ramsey Radio to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Ramsey Radio. welcome back to the ramsey show i am rachel cruz hosting this hour with jade warshaw we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225 up next we have sharon in springfield hi sharon welcome to the show hi thanks so much for having me today. Absolutely. How can we help? Well, my husband's been handling our finances for the last, we've been married almost 20 years,

and to the point that I really don't know what's going on in our finances largely. I say in a lot of ways he controls a lot of what we spend and how we spend it. And we'll have financial discussions and we'll talk about it. But I don't really have a full understanding of our financial picture when we make decisions. Okay. And I can't get him to sit down and make a budget. Now, we've been through the Ramsey programs. I think we've been through them twice.

We've even been out of consumer debt in the past. But keeping a consistent budget is a problem. I am the breadwinner in the family. And I'm wondering if it's worth just pulling my money out of our joint account and keeping my money separate so that I can at least budget part of what our income is. Why won't he budget? Like when you say, hey, I want to sit down and do this, what's his reason? Is it he doesn't have time? He doesn't think it's like,

what's his problem? I think a lot of it is just understanding like how to plan for little things that come up with the kids, like costumes that the kids need for programs or, you know, posters that they need to, you know, for school presentations, you know, making sure we've got money for those little things. And of course, there's more than just what the kids. And he doesn't want to do that or you want to do that and he doesn't think that's necessary to plan for those details um he's hesitant about the zero like the like getting all of the money and giving it a name like i hear that a lot take all the money give all the money a name and you know like that zero budget but it doesn't mean zero dollars in the account maybe that's what's making him nervous i'm sorry say that again so zero based budget doesn't mean zero dollars in the account and that might be really clear like really

important to make clear to him zero based budget simply means we've talked about that okay so he knows that so at the beginning of this call sharon you mentioned that he is he's more the one that's controlling all the finances. What does that mean? Does that mean, do you have a debit card to your account that you share with him and you go and buy the costumes for the kids? Or how is the money flow happening right now? I do have a debit card.

I spend very little of the money out of the account without at least clearing it with him first because I'm so blind to what's there. Why? Why do you feel the need to ask his permission? Because we don't have a budget, so I don't know what money is there and how to use it. Okay, let's get down to it because our screen says, my husband has been withholding money, has been withholding finances from me for our entire marriage. And that sounds different than what you're saying so help us understand well yeah he does withhold all of the information about the um about the account yes so you're you don't want to you ask permission to spend because you have no idea what money's in there so it's just you're you don't

want to blindly spend with the debit card can you not log into the do you have the login information sharon i don't currently have the login have you have you asked it for him and he what does he say i have asked him for it and i have tried to look at it uh not here recently but i have tried to look at it and i'm so overwhelmed like i don't even know where to start So he gave it to you or he didn't give it to you Um He logged in himself He logged in himself and let you look over his shoulder

Oh Sharon that makes me nervous Um Yeah I think at this point I would be okay with you having your own Account But hear me say sharon that this um it's going to fix one part of it that you're going to have money to be able to spend but it's not going to fix your marriage um this is a temporary solution to really dive into the deeper parts because sharon what makes me nervous is and we've we've seen situations

like this that if you don't know where you're where the money's going I would uh I I would be I would be very highly concerned that there's stuff going on that and other parts of your marriage that you have no clue about yeah you don't know what he's hiding Do you have do you do you feel that I Yes in some ways yes Okay Um Yeah I would I would start laying down an ultimatum With him um

And again this is and for anyone Listening right now this is regardless of Sharon Is the breadwinner or not okay so Her making the money great but Even if Sharon was a stay-at-home mom, my viewpoint would be the exact same. Because as a married couple, as you guys, you are a team working together,

and he has control issues. And sometimes, Sharon, and I'm going to just say this, and you can correct me in here, but sometimes it puts you in a dangerous situation with a lot of abusive husbands. They use a level of power and control that you can't even go to the grocery store. Has there been abuse in your marriage

in the past 20 years? Physical abuse, no. Okay. Never. Do you feel in danger? Do you feel like there's danger in your home? No. I feel like my husband is very insecure.

And so he's trying to keep hold of the money so that I can't leave. I know that sounds terrible. No, it doesn't. No, that's the truth. That's very real. That's what's going on. Yeah. Do you guys have kids?

We do. We've got two kids how old are they um almost nine and thirteen they're both about to have birthdays okay um yeah i would i would have an ultimatum conversation and it is you're going to give me all this login information yeah and i i want to see everything that's been going on. Any bills. Do you know how many credit cards he has? I believe we've just got one active credit card.

I would ask him to pull his credit report. And pull yours. I want to see both of your credit reports. I want the login information to all of our accounts, including retirement, including retirement, including checking, including savings. Any of those accounts, I want the login information,

and I want them tonight. Because if not, tomorrow morning I'm going to be at the bank at 9am and I'm opening up my own account. Because, Sharon, he has put you in, he has done this. You're not the crazy one. He has put you and he has done this you're not the crazy one he has put you in this situation so you're not being the bad guy here you're protecting yourself

so important and if you ask him hey because of the state of our marriage we're going to go to counseling what what would he say to that if you said enough is enough we need to talk with someone what would he go or would he fight that he would tell me we couldn't afford it okay so how much do you make a year sharon how much are you bringing in i know what my salary is i make 105 okay um i don't know what my actual take home would be he's handled our taxes what does he bring home i don't know how that i don't know exactly um i think it's around 60 okay um yeah those are the two ultimatums counseling and you're and he's he's changing by morning or like rachel said you're going on opening an account and i just want you to know like you're doing well like for yourself you're going on and opening an account and I just want you to know like you're doing well like for yourself you're doing well and you don't have to stay in a situation where someone is

abusing you financially and I'm just going to put it at that hard to hear it's hard to hear. Yeah, I know. Yeah, Sharon, we want, what we see so much is money issues are the symptom of a lot of things going on. And so the issue of you not knowing numbers and not having the accessibility to see what's going on financially in your home is a symptom of having a controlling husband. And there's only so much you can do. You can't change him. But what you can do is protect yourself. And if you stay on the line, Christian's going to pick up and I want to get you with one of our certified counselors. It's just spending seven minutes with you on a radio call. I feel like it doesn't do it justice um i want someone walking with you sharon in this because this is really important this is really important and i pray

your marriage is healed in this process it's going to be a really hard patch but i pray redemption of that i really do i pray that you both come to the other side and are redeemed in this but if not i want you to protect yourself this This is The Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible, are people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills I'm going to eat next week yeah in

the middle of all that grief like it's just it is it's terrible so life insurance is the one thing especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance and it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You've got to say it out loud, and you've got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them

and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com. So one of the expenses that is hard to face as adults, but it's true, there's a couple of them. But one of them is insurance. And in recent years, or recent months, I mean, I guess close to 18 months now, they just seem to keep going up, up, up. Home, auto, I mean, it's just, it continues to rise.

And according to Quadrant Information Services, home insurance rates are about 23% higher than they were last year. Car insurance is up 39% compared to December of 2019. Yeah, it's a lot. And the factors that are playing into it, it's interesting. So even if you look at like car insurance, I mean, you do have to think about where you live in the United States is climate issue. Or do you live in a place where there's tornadoes? And so there's hailstorms and it damages your vehicle. You know, it could be something like, I mean, wow, I just had to completely blank my brain out there. No, but I mean, but yeah, you think about whether it's got tornadoes, rain, hurricane, anything that can be damaging your climate.

Climate's a thing. And then you think about models, right? We're doing a lot more electric vehicles. There's more technology inside of them. And so there's that part of it. And so by and large, we're seeing an increased amount of car accidents, which is interesting. So there's that's playing into it um some people would still say supply chain although part of me is like i feel like that's it's pretty much caught up i feel like do you remember though in that in that height

of covid you would drive by a car lot and there would be like no cars it was so eerie and now now they're pretty full i would say the car lots are there might be some cars still on back order but i think for the most part, you can get it if you need it. And so, you know, a lot of people are probably like, well, what can we do about it? And this right in here, Rachel, is where what we teach really does play in

because if you do buy a car in cash, you run the, if you buy it in cash, it's used, then you are qualifying yourself for a lower rate. And so that right there is a good motivation. Obviously the car model that you choose still plays a part in it uh how old you are still plays a part in like so all of that plays a part so there are some ways to get around this but even when you do all those things correctly there is still the idea like it is getting higher and that just i mean the truth

is that that just sucks yeah and it's one of those expenses too that you're like i can't do anything about it right like when your property tax goes, I mean, whatever it is, you're just like, oh my gosh, I just feel, you feel stuck.

You feel trapped because you have to have it. Yeah. But yet it's one of those things that just continues to rise. I mean, you could raise your deductible. That's something that you could do. You know, there's another thing about if you buy your car in cash and you have enough

money saved up that if something were to happen to that car you could replace it in cash then you could drop off like uh comprehensive insurance uh because you're like hey if something happens national like natural disaster something that's crazy i have the cash that i could actually repair it if i need to yeah yeah so there's things that you could do to save on it um but there's just a big part of this that it is you know it's frustrating yeah for sure yeah so there's other things that you can do um whether it's look for discounts you can even bundle policies and then you'll get a better deal yeah that way but i would again shop rates because sometimes the bundles it really is helpful and

sometimes if you're shopping from just like one carrier and you're not comparing prices, you may not be getting the best price. So make sure to do your research there. And I mean, the same thing's happening also with home insurance. We're seeing certain states are not willing to cover things that they once did. And again, some of this is linked to climate. Some of it's linked to natural disasters, that sort of thing. And I mean, we had a call the other day where a lady called in. She said, I'm being dropped from my insurance because my state has decided that they don't cover you if you have a flat roof

and it's like okay great you know and so all of this at the very least it really ties in what we teach and trying to put yourself in a position where you can have as much peace as possible so if these things do crop up it's not a disaster. It's like, okay, this is very inconvenient because I've set myself up. I can deal with it. And so that's how this works. If you want to work with an independent insurance agent, you could contact a Ramsey Trusted Insurance Pro. The good thing about our Ramsey Trusted Insurance Pros is they are going to advise you and help you do things the way we teach. And so that's what you're looking for. They're not tied to any one carrier and they'll pull quotes from all companies

to help you pick the best deal. So you can go to ramseysolutions.com slash bundle to get connected and to start saving money on your insurance. Because it is a part of the budget. It's just part of it. Part of the life that we live. Yes.

All right, up next we have, is it Shay in Chicago? Hey, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. I'm going to make this quick. I'm thinking of doing a voluntary repossession of my car. And I'm just wondering if that's a good idea. Well, I'm going to call it.

Well, let me rephrase that. I call it a voluntary repossession, but I'm really trying to get rid of some debt. I'm tired of paying a car note. I thought that was the right idea. Yes, but can we sell it? Can we sell it? That's my goal. I'm hoping to try to sell it to the dealership.

And I'm assuming, of course, it's going to be a different. Can we sell it private sale? Ah. I'm not. Well, I currently pay on it. So I'm not sure if that's going to be ideal. OK. So here's what I would do.

I would not give it back to the dealer. I would not do a voluntary repossession. Even though that's not what you meant, I would never do that because that's going to destroy your credit and just be heartache. And I wouldn't sell it back to the dealer because they're not going to give you the best price for the vehicle. If I were you, what kind of vehicle is it? It is a Buick Encore GX. Okay. What year? 2021. Okay. I'd get on Kelly Blue Book today after you get off this call and I'd see how much can I get for this private sale? What do you owe on it?

$22,000. Okay, and just your best guess, if you're like, hey, I have done a little bit of research, what do you think you could get for it? I'm hoping to get at least $20,000. Okay, so if you thought that giving it back to the dealership would give you $20,000, then I bet Blue Booking it, you might be able to break even on this,

just based off of what you've said. Yes. Jay, what's causing you to get rid of it? Is it just because the payment is so high? Yes. And honestly, I'm just trying to get out of debt. I want to be able to pay off. My mom and I just bought a family duplex.

So I want to put my money into paying this off. Not a car note. Not a car. Yeah. Do you have any other debt? Yes, I do have credit card debt. How much? $9,000.

Okay. Anything else? No. How much do you make a year? I make $73,000 a year. Oh, good for you. That's so great. Okay.

What's caused you to just up and say, I want to get out of debt. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just tired of living the life that I've been living. I don't feel like I'm living i'm just tired of living the life that i've been living i don't feel like i'm living like a 25 year old you know i'm making okay money and i'm not seeing the benefits from it yeah for sure well done i mean that's that's a good why we usually find shade people that start saying god something's got to change uh a lot of it comes like that to say i work hard and i don't feel like i have anything to show for it. It's just this feeling of, I mean, there's nothing.

And yeah, and you're 25 making $73,000. That's a lot. That's great. Where'd the credit card debt come from? Because you've got a good income. Honestly, poor decisions. And then also before I got this car, I had a car that was giving me trouble. So I was putting some money into it and putting it on my credit card, trying to get it fixed.

And it honestly still ended up going out on me. So I love this car. so I was putting some money into it to put it on my credit card trying to get it fixed and it honestly it still ended up going out on me so see I love this car I love when people stop and realize that they have a choice like you don't have to keep going the way you've been going you have a you can opt out of that lifestyle and you can go you know what yeah I want to do better than this I want to feel like I'm making an impact I want to feel like my income matters I don't want to keep living like this. So Bravo. I think so.

Great. Shay. Have you been, have you plugged into the Ramsey baby steps at all? No, I have not. Okay. So I would,

I would encourage you to, to yeah. Dive into some of the stuff. We'll have Christian pick up and we'll, we'll give you financial peace university, which is our, our nine week course that we always say every high school or should have taken.

But at 25, if you can get this, Shay, because there's a process, because your emotions there, the decision in Shay has been made that I don't want to live like this anymore. So now the best way to be effective of this and to actually see a lot of impact is to have a step-by-step process of what you do. So Shay, we have what's called the Ramsey Baby Steps, which the first thing you do is gonna get a $1,000 emergency fund. The second thing you're gonna do is pay off all of your debt, smallest to largest.

So it'd actually be you getting rid of this car, which is great, and then knocking out the credit card. So if you have multiple credit cards, write each of those out separately, smallest amount to largest amount, regardless of the interest rates. Pay minimum payments on everything and pay off that smallest credit card first and work your way up. those out separately smallest amount to largest amount regardless of the interest rates pay minimum payments on everything and pay off that smallest credit card first and work your way up um i would

be getting a side hustle i mean i would do anything i could to to knock this out and again you make some great money so even limiting your lifestyle uh living on a budget doing a couple of those things is going to help you and then your next goal Shay, will be to get a fully funded emergency fund, three to six months of expenses saved in the bank. Okay. And what, I mean, could you, how would that feel right now? If you had no debt and you had five months of expenses saved in the bank, how would that feel? Amazing. Amazing. So good. Okay. Stay on the line. Christian will pick up and we'll give you some stuff to help you on your journey. I'm so glad that you, that you called in. I know. So great. Okay. Those of you that are watching on YouTube or listening on podcasts, make sure to

download the Ramsey Network app. We'll have the third hour there. If you're listening on radio, keep listening and we will be here in the next hour. Thanks to all the guys in the booth. Thank you, Jade, for a great hour. And thank you, America. This is The Ramsey Show. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with my good friend and bestselling author, Jade Warshaw, and we are here to answer your questions. So give us a call at 888-825-5225. And we'll talk about your life, your money, your relationships, your career, anything and everything. We are here for you. So first up, we have Ashley

in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hey, Ashley, welcome to the show. Hi. Sorry, I'm really nervous. No, you're good. Don't be. It's just us. It's just us girls. It's just chatting. You're great, Ashley.

How can we help? So I'm trying to figure out if I step away from work, if I'm going to financially ruin my family. Let's talk more about that. Why do you feel like that could be the case? So I make about double what my husband brings in, and he works at a small business, so they don't offer, like, health care or retirement plans or anything like that,

and, like, he's never going to leave that. That is his life. Okay, what does he earn? Like what are the real numbers? So he earns about 60 and I earn about 115 roughly. And how old are your kids? I have a four-year-old, a three-year-old, a two-year-old, and a one-month-old. Wow. Ashley. Oh, my Lord. You're in it.

I feel like we should just take a moment and pray. I just almost fell asleep just listening to that. That's crazy. Goodness. Okay. So, and I totally get this, Ashley. Like, after my third, actually, when I was pregnant with my third, it was the moment I was like, oh, man, do I want to go back to this work thing?

What does this look like for me? So like this, this heartstring that moms feel, it is so real. And so for you, you're a month in to a new baby. You have three little ones around. And what does your husband say when you're saying, golly, my, I'm feeling, you know, pulled in this direction? Well, he, he says that we'll figure it out and it'll be fine but he feels like if I do step away that I'm not gonna feel fulfilled staying at home he feels like I was meant to work and that I'll get bored well I think that you I feel like no one's going to know that better than you, how you'll feel. Right. So it's possible that being new, you know, after having a baby for the first time and you're just a couple of months and it's possible that you're feeling more emotions

in the moment and that you could step away and feel a little bit like, OK, several months have passed now I'm feeling better about this. That is possible. But I do think at the core, you probably do know yourself best. My question, like when I'm looking at all of this, I'm just really wondering if you do get to the point where you decide I want to stay home, can you actually afford to do it? Because I feel like that otherwise you wouldn't be calling the show. So that's really the question is, what's your financial situation above what you both earn? I mean, we're doing the baby steps. Honestly, we're doing pretty well. We're debt-free.

We have a fully funded emergency fund. We own our house outright. Oh, great. And we have a P4 rental. Okay. And have you done a budget with just his income just to see if, you know, from basic necessities, if everything would be okay? We have, and it's tight. It's going to feel tight.

It's covered with my work. And so if we went to his, we would be about $2,000 short a month. Oh. If we start paying, if we get insurance on his. And I don't know where to cut or what to do. Because $2,000, yeah, that's a significant gap. That's not $200. Is there something you could do to bring that in to where you're still not working full time,

but you're closing that gap while still staying at home um i'm not sure i haven't really looked into that okay and why doesn't he look at for another job that's another i know you said that that this is his life but like what what's the situation um i mean is this is his life he he's known what he wanted to do since he was 12 years old. Yeah, but what is it? What is it? What is it? Well, he partially owns the business.

He is a martial arts instructor. Okay. So is there a path to growing the business to where he's earning more, basically, is what I'm asking. There definitely is, but it probably won't be for like another year or so. Okay. So, okay. So I think what it gets down to, Ashley, is you guys, you and your husband, y'all have to sit down and decide what is, what is a priority for our family? What does a priority look like? What are our values when you both have desires that are conflicting, right? He has a desire to stay in a job where financially you wouldn't be able to do it.

It would force you to work. And is that for him greater than having his wife who doesn't want to go to work be forced to go to work? Do you know what I mean? Like there's a level for me where I'm like, man, there's something about, and if you you work Ashley I'm like you're paying child care for four kids that's a lot so there's a point too that your income at that point it starts to dwindle really quickly for that and so I don't know I there there's something in me that I I

don't know and Jade you can you can correct me on the other side. I fight for the mom that wants to be home with her kids. I really do. I do too. Because I think some moms, us, Jade and I, we love to work. And so we're working and it's great. But when you have that feeling, because I've had that feeling before, Ashley, where like, I just know for this season,

this is where I'm supposed to be. And here's the deal too, Ashley, it may not be forever. It may that you guys do it for three years and then half of the kids are in school and maybe one has a five day a week program and you know like and you start going back going back in um but motherhood is such a seasonal time and and i really do i fight for women to be able to honor that and the thing that sucks is that the math has to math that's 100 and so something has to give Ashley.

So there either has to be a level that you say, hey, part time, I'm going to do something on the side to bring in income, like Jade said, or the only other or you go back to work full time or he has to find a different situation to sustain the life that you guys both wants. Right. So when you're crunching those numbers,

be careful because I want to make sure that you're crunching those numbers, be careful because I want to make sure that you're crunching them. If you're doing your budget, your lifestyle as it is with both incomes and you say, hey, we could get this. We're just $2,000 away. That's pretty good. That might just be the difference in you changing your lifestyle a little bit. Does that make sense?

Is this a lifestyle thing or is it, hey, Jade, even with our bare bones budget, we're $2,000 away. I think those are two different questions, right? It might be. It probably is the lifestyle thing. I mean, there's definitely things that we could cut. Like there's some programs that our kids are in. But you have to ask yourself, like they do dance. But you have to ask yourself like you always like they do dance but you have to ask yourself about that quality of life too because there's part of this where i could look at this and go hey you go out and make an extra thousand he go out and make an extra thousand like that should be easy enough but if that still just gets you to a barely baseline how much are you going to enjoy staying

home with four kids when you can't put them in any activities yeah so there's you got things to weigh out here. Yeah, so maybe there's another option, Ashley, even for you for the time being. Or maybe you guys say for a season, for three years, we're going to grind it out. And you do. And you cut the lifestyle way back.

But yeah, so thanks for the call, Ashley. I don't know if that helps, but I think you guys sitting down and deciding what you value the most because something is going to have to have a sacrifice. And you guys need to choose that. That's right. You're listening to The Ramsey Show.

I'm Jade Warshaw, your host, joined by Rachel Cruz. And we are taking your calls all hour long. The number is 888-825-5225. Give us a call and we'll chop it up with you. You know, we're always looking at what's going on in finance, what's going on on social media, what's going on in the news and what the trends are. Because this is what people are talking about. And we want to be talking about what y'all are talking about and what's important to you guys. And so I saw initially an article come across my email that was talking about this. And then there's TikToks and it kind of started popping off a little bit. So it's like,

we need to talk about this. And it's essentially, Rachel, this idea that if you make $74,000 a year, Gen Z doesn't think that that's middle class. Like they don't think, they don't agree with that. And so I don't want to say much more. I want you guys to watch this and decide for yourself and then we will discuss. Gen Z doesn't agree that $74,000 is middle class. No kidding. It's not even close. Check this out. If you take $74,000 for a Gen Z or let's say they have a bachelor's degree and they're 25 years old. First of all, $74,000 is much higher than the average income. Most Gen Zers are probably making anywhere from 40 to 50, maybe 60, but let's use 74. The take home after taxes 401k and health insurance is $4,300. The average college monthly payment on a loan is about $500.

You're down to $3,800. Let's say this person is financially responsible, decides to split a two-bedroom apartment in a medium-sized city like Orlando so that their payment is $1,200 apiece, $200 for utilities, so $1,400. Now, unless they're going to have Lucky Charms and peanut butter and jelly, their groceries are going to cost about $600 if they're trying to get chicken, beef, and some healthy stuff. You have a $400 car payment, $200 insurance, $150 for gas, $100 for a cell phone, leaves you with $950. This is no savings investment, no emergency fund. Let's give them at least $300 to go on a couple dates or hang out with their friends for the month so they can enjoy life a little bit. They're left with only $650, a bachelor's degree, 74K salary. You are splitting a two-bedroom apartment with a

friend and only have $650 left a month. It would take you years to save up to $30,000 that you would need for a down payment on a house with the closing costs. But even if you could get that down payment saved, you would still need to make $120,000 a year to be considered for a $400,000 loan. The middle class, the goalpost has been moved from 70K to $120,000 in just the past two years. Okay. Okay. I got some thoughts, Rachel Cruz. I did too. You go, Jade. Number one, when my guy said only $650 left, there were a couple of things that are screaming at me. A, only $650 left. I think that if you're just starting out, you're in your 20s. I'm like, yeah, that's that. You're 22 years old and you have $650,000 left over. Come on, somebody. Number two. That's good. Then I'm like,

OK, I'm just getting $300 on fun money again. That's a lot of money. Like that ain't bad. Can I be 100% real talk? Yeah, go. On my budget right now, where it says Jade Fund Money, it's $300. And I'm telling you, I make more than $74,000 a year.

So, okay. Okay, and then, so then add in, which is normal, I get. But what if you decided to get an extra job and pay off this debt? You would free up a car payment. $400. And free up $500 student loans.

That's $900. $600 for groceries for a single person. I think you can do it at $500. So that's an extra $100 that you take out. So there's an extra $1,000. So that's really $1,600 extra. Yeah. I think we're okay i think this is an expectation conversation yes yes and we're not gonna make seventy four thousand dollars forever ever amen no or forty thousand dollars forever and ever and amen or whatever it is right as you get older and you work you will be making more money over your lifetime. That is true. I just, this really rubbed me the wrong way, Rachel.

I just, I think that like what you said, this is all expectation and it's kind of tunnel vision and getting caught in the now. You know, it's like you're looking at everything that you're seeing on social media and you're creating this bar of what you should have. You're even looking at maybe what friends and family members have. So many people, they come out of their parents' house and you've been living in this environment where there's nicer cars, the home is larger, and you immediately kind of feel like, oh yeah, I'm supposed to have that too. And I'm like, listen, these things take time. It took

time for our parents to get where they are, If that's what you're comparing it to. And we'll say this. I'll say this. Number one, has life changed? Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Is stuff more expensive? Real estate being one?

Yes. Yes. Like we are not denying that. Of course. It is. It is more expensive. But the problem I have with it is, is honest. It's kind honestly, it's kind of his attitude of like, oh, Mark. Versus saying, well, I have $650.

What can I do now to better my life with that? You know what I mean? There's an attitude shift as well of how you view this. You can view it like Eeyore or you can view it like this is an opportunity. So what am I going to do? What am I going to do different? How am I going to pay off debt so I can free up an extra thousand dollars a month?

Yes. What am I, what are, what's my opportunity here to do? What if I invested 300 of the $350 every month from 22 to, you know, run those numbers, like, like find the opportunity in it. I agree. Versus this like, well, well, well, you're, you're all screwed.

We're all just screwed. I don't know what we're gonna do you know and you're just like oh my gosh like yeah they're approaching it from the wrong angle it's just like yeah that drives me crazy i agree it's like oh must be nice like you you're looking at it and like you said he's it's $650 that's a lot of money that's where i'm like listen i'm standing on business that's $650 a And here's real talk. What we do on the show is talk to real people every single day for three hours a day. People are in the red. They don't have $650 left over.

And that's what I'm saying. The mindset, it's almost like he's solving the wrong problem or focusing on the wrong thing. And not just him because he's speaking for hundreds and thousands and maybe millions of people who feel this way. But if you're, like you said, if you're looking at $650, that's not enough. And you're looking at $400 and he's not addressing that. And he's not addressing the student loan. It's just, this is the way it is.

There's nothing that's gonna change. You're looking at the wrong piece of the puzzle. You've gotta look at, I was listening to somebody today that was saying that healthy people, whether it's in a relationship or just you as yourself, you always look at something and go, okay, what am I contributing to this? Like if there's a problem, it's very easy to point out there and say, it's because of that, that, that, that, and that. But when you're healthy and have this area of maturity, you're always looking at and

going, what can I own in this situation? Yep. And if you're finding yourself, even if it's not a $74,000 budget that we're looking at, if you're looking at your own finances and you just find yourself feeling trapped, blaming your job, blaming the fact that you have student loans, blaming your spouse, you have to stop for a moment and go, OK, wait a minute. What am I contributing to the situation? Because here's the guarantee.

If there is something that you're complaining about in life, I don't care what it is. At this point, I'm beyond money. If there's something that you're complaining about, I guarantee, I bet your bottom dollar, there's something that you are doing that's contributing, even if it's slightly, that you can tweak to make your situation better. And if you start to turn the dial up on that and start focusing on that, that's going to point to another thing that you can tweak to make your situation better. And if you start to turn the dial up on that and start focusing on that, that's going to point to another thing that you can change. And you start focusing on that and that points to another thing. So it really goes back to that

idea of whatever you're looking for, that's what you find. So if you're looking for problems, all you find is problems. If you look for solutions, you're going to start to see, even if it's so small, like Rachel, you just went through all of this. Like, okay, like what would happen if you paid off your car? What would happen if you paid off your student loan? What would happen? Start asking yourself those questions. What can you contribute? Listen, it's a whole different equation at that point. I know. And I do wonder, you mentioned it earlier, but expectations, and this is something I always wrestle with. And it's, and it almost could be just subconscious of what we just naturally expect in our world

because we're so exposed to everyone's lifestyle. I mean, whether it's like reality TV or social media, Instagram, TikTok, like you see into people's lives more than at any other time in history. And you start to see a glimpse and you start to expect what you see. You become numb to it almost.

And it's like, oh, this is normal. And if I don't have that, I'm not normal. I was talking to my mother-in-law at Christmas and she was like, oh my God. You know, she just made a comment how all they did with their little kids at the time, they just all played in the driveway and all the cul-de-sac would get together and chase. Now I'm like, there's memberships to things. Like there's all this stuff that's normal. But I'm like, that wasn't, that doesn't have to be normal.

Yeah. So it's just this like subconscious expectation. We have to reevaluate all the time. And I think it's really important to keep us grounded in it because you can just float off into this world, spend a lot of money that's unnecessary and complain and do a TikTok video. That's a word, Rachel.

That's a word right there. Check out your expectations, figure out what's motivating you. Is it the money or is it an emotion that you're seeking out? This is The Ramsey show I'm your host Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruz join me joining me today as my co-host guys I am like tripping a little bit because during the break we decided that we are going to pull back the curtain Rachel we are going to expose ourselves because here's the thing we we're always talking to you guys about your budget and how you need to be spending your money and this is how this is how it goes and y'all are probably sitting back there going i bet y'all are not perfect i bet sometimes you go over budget jade

and rachel i bet sometimes you guys don't track your financials jade and rachel i bet sometimes you guys you know spend more on groceries or more on going out than you said you were and you're right you're right you're right it happens man and so i'm pulling up my every dollar i have pulled up my every dollar app i have it is right here you can see the green banner every every dollar. And I'm going to look at April because May just started. And I'll be honest with you. I actually want to say something, but you guys might laugh at me. What? Okay. Since I started working at Ramsey, I used to work from home. Yeah. And since I started working at Ramsey, I spend so much less money because I'm working. I like, I'm not at home. Oh yes, totally. I think when my office was at home, I would look around and be like, oh, I need this or

I need that. And I spent more money. Yeah. I hardly spend any money now. Sam Warshaw is in the lobby and he's putting two thumbs up because he knows I have probably saved us hundreds. Okay. So what we do with our budget, Jade, which I know not everyone is this, because again,

I think you go more detailed with the budget. I go more detailed with the budget. For some people, you don't have to. You can go more broad categories if you want, right? If you've been budgeting for a while. Yeah. So I just went through a few of our months. Because if there's anything new added to the budget that's not in an obvious category,

we just create a new line item at every dollar. So I went through February, March, April. Okay. So here we are. Oh, you went back far. That's good. I just went back real fast during the break. Okay. So summer camps in February, Jade, and I remember this happening. I don't know if it's like this everywhere, but in Nashville, where we live to sign your kids up for like cheer camp at the local high school for the week or a church camp. You know, if you go to the church for the day, our kids like, you know, they're

little. So they're doing like elementary school stuff. These people, stuff is signing up like in February. And it's like, it was crazy to me. It was like a waiting list. It was nuts. So I had to get all organized and all of this. So we had a whole line item, Jade. And they're doing like three camps each

through the summer. They're each a week long. So there's like a cheer camp. Caroline's doing a little dance camp. They're both doing week long. So there's like a cheer camp. Caroline's doing a little dance camp. They're both doing church camp and they have swim lessons. Wow, that's good. And all of this came in February. So I had a whole line item with camps that are not cheap. I'm like, which granted, if you have my kid all day for five days, I get that I'm gonna pay for it. True that. But it's a lot. So summer camps was like one that it cost us way more than I ever thought. And I had to sit there and like redo the budget to get the money

for summer camp. So that was February. Then Winston had some doctor's visits that we weren't expecting. Nothing major, but just some just some like checkups and that kind of thing. But they all fell in March. So we had a whole line item for doctor's visits. Amelia's birthday is in April, early April, but we did a skate party. So I had to rent the skate center, a little birthday thing in March. So that was, yeah, that was what I was not expecting in March. I was thinking April birthday, but no, we have to pay for it in March. Oh, good call. Yeah. And then this past month, one of our team members, Nicole, hi, Nicole, she helps with my social media, is getting married. And I was like, I want to get her a great

gift. And so, you know, I figured out kind of how much we could spend but that you know but i created a whole other line item for nicole's wedding gift for it uh so yeah so stuff i mean it does it will just life happens throughout the month and things just pop okay how about you jade what's yours okay so i only looked at april i don't i don't know why i didn't go back further and i i am very detailed like we do a line item that's got like all of the giving um that we want to do and it's like tallied out um by like tithe by fun giving like that kind of stuff we love giving tips like that's yeah a line item to give extra tips I love that fun all right so let's see here well that's a great thing I need to add that I love in our giving area yes in our budget because then

specifically when we go there I'll be like hey do you want to use some of our tip budget which makes it because then it doesn't come out of your restaurant line item when you get more rachel i hear you jade that's it that's how we play this i hear you i hear you all right so i'm gonna all right let's see here i would say that the thing that popped up was my son's school enrollment ah the application fees for his school for the fall yeah for the fall i didn't look at all this stuff happened and so i put it just a separate line item there because i was like well here it is um i went over my date night budget it's in the red i it's red hey yes it is there's any line item to do that that and clothes it's it's red i will

justify that one my grocery budget is not i did not go over my grocery like i didn't even hit all of it oh good and i'm just gonna say this because i said this on live the other day and people came at me the average amount for a family of four to spend on groceries is between 800 to 1200 the last time i checked wow i spent 1200 do you yeah i I do. Okay. You know what? I'm not going to, I'm not going to fault you on that because I have a different line item for, do you do Costco? Yeah. I have a household items line. Okay. But just grocery store. Just grocery store. Yeah. And that's what they say. And I'm like, I could spend 800 as a matter of fact, for a while I did. And then I was like, you know, as you have the margin, as you come up in margin, it's OK.

But there are a lot of people I did a Facebook or Instagram live about it. And a lot of people were like, yeah, me too, me too. And I was like, I do buy a lot of like organic. I was going to say that the quality of food to you buy it, you pay for it. You pay for it. So that makes sense. But I mean, it just goes to show there's plenty of space where you can cut money. Now, kids birthday came up. Both of my kids are born in the month of august the 18th and the 21st um and so there were more expenditures there because we weren't going to do as much and then it always you know you say it and then as it starts happening and honestly the weather became nice and i was like i feel like it would be nice to have a few more plants

in the backyard and i got some yes that was not you know what our i had to come out of another category for that one rachel if i'm being honest with myself you know what winston did and not to blame him because it looks it looks beautiful but in april we have literally we have a line item but what and it's called rocks it's really called rocks because he got these like stepping stones to create this like little sidewalk from our garage to our back porch uh and that's nice and it it and it it was nice jake because i see the dollar amount next to rocks it's not just rocks out there we we bought some nice rock doesn't it make you feel weird that you have to buy rocks and we put it in the budget we do we're such nerds

yes but again you guys it all goes back to the idea of stuff is going to happen. Number one. Yep. Number two, it's your budget. So you get to shift categories. You get to figure out, like you're saying, being flexible. Shift categories to make it work for you. Detailed, realistic, flexible.

And it feels like permission. It's like, yes, there's the amount of money we need for rocks. Yes. Go get some rocks. Now, I'll be honest. I try not to, like like if something comes up that i want to do or that quote i'm going to put need in quotes because it's rarely a need let's be honest it's usually a want i try to if i have to you know do a little magic work on the budget

i try not to ever pull from like the savings you know yeah i try to pull it from another category and so like in this case i had a certain amount budgeted for counseling, but I ended up not seeing my counselor as much. So I had a little chunk of change there and that ended up going towards plants. Yeah, but that's great. And that, yes, that's the game to play is don't, if you guys are past, especially maybe step three

and you just have some, you know, if you have money left over at the month and you're putting it in savings, that's what we do. And we try to hit a number every month. And it's a great game of discipline to go through the budget and say, okay, where can I move up? Because like even our miscellaneous category can start to grow. Yes. And I can look to be like, wow, we've.

We can cool out. Yeah, we can like, we can shrink that and pull money here. Our out to eat, it had more. It's funny because we spent more on groceries than out to eat last month. So we had some margin there. Yes. Right? Then I'm like, okay, there's, yeah, we can pull money there.

And you can just go through it. It ends up being kind of like this game. Maybe we're just sick in the head, Jade. I don't know what it is, but it feels like a game. I don't think so. It feels like a game because you think, okay, I can find that. I can find that extra, you know, whatever it is in all these categories. I will. And again, it just, it it allows the discipline the discipline to come in so what's one thing that you are like if like this I must spend money on like it's it's a want not a need that you're like

no matter what this has got to be in the budget please Winston I have a I have like a clothing personal line item and it's not the Rachel we have the Rachel line item but then I have a, I have like a clothing personal line item and it's not the Rachel. We have the Rachel line item, but then I have a separate one for like clothes and makeup and my hair and all that. Gotta have it. I do. It's just like my, it's my outlet. I feel that I'm the same way. I gotta have my nails done. I know I must have my nails done. I just, I'm not the same woman if I don't. All right, folks, go back and look at your budget and now you won't feel so bad because you see we're real people. We're all trying to cut our way through this. We're all trying to make sure we stay on the budget and we do. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day comes from Proverbs 5, 20 and 21.

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. I like that, man. That's like what George says. George Campbell? Yeah, like when he says if you follow the trends, you fall for the traps. I feel like that's, all right, George, you're a you're a thespian. That's right. We were just talking about how people are like, oh, 401ks and they're boring. They laugh at those old fashioned jades.

But man, man, it works. It works for a reason. Well, I am a personality. Rachel Ramsey, personality. Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with our newest Ramsey personality Jade and we are taking Your calls America 888-825-5225 All right

Up next we have Joy in Watertown. Hey Joy, welcome to The show. Hi, how are You ladies? We are doing well How can we help? All right, so Before I ask my question, I'll just give you a little context. But my husband and I, we are on baby step two.

He is in the Army active duty, so I stay home with our children and I homeschool them. And just recently, we have found out that we're expecting our third. And that's great news. Congratulations. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. third and that's great news congratulations yes thank you thank you but the struggle has best been there is this first trimester has not been easy for me and I'm afraid that it may mess with like our food budget because it entails me wanting to like not cook from fatigue and um I figure it be perfect to call you ladies because I know you both are mothers.

And I really want to honor our budget and get out of the student loan debt we're in. But how do I do that when like all I want to do is go to Buffalo Wild Wings? Girl, I feel you. I feel you. You know, go ahead, Rachel. Well, number one, thank you for your husband and his service and your service as well, Joy, being a spouse here while your husband is deployed. So, man. Okay. How far along are you? So we found out a few weeks ago.

So I'm eight weeks. Okay. I'm in like the thick of the morning sickness and all of the fun stuff. Yes. So, I mean, realistically, if I can go back to my pregnancy days, you know, you may have about two more months of this exhaustion. So, I would be okay, Joy, for two months just knowing your reality because part of the budget is the reality of your life, right? Like, we tell people, like, don't go and try to budget $75 for food. You're never going to hit

that. Like, that's stupid to even try to do that. So, if you're in a position, especially, and he's deployed right now, right? Is you said no he's not deployed he's active duty although he will be soon okay okay but he's in this first trimester he won't he's here okay that's good that's good so i was going to give you even more grace if he wanted to be like i get it like oh my gosh i can't imagine um so yeah so i would say as much as you guys can plan the food because the food budget is always the thing that gets people. It does. And again, I want you to speak in because Jade does so much of this stuff, especially on Instagram, which is amazing.

But just hear me say, Joy, if it's two months of adding in a little bit more because you just know the situation, but it's going to stop after two months, right? Like you see that end point. I would give you some grace in that for sure. But also I think there's a way that you don't necessarily have to do that and you can plan and have a meal plan and do some things that are easy cooking that can still stay within the budget. I agree. You know, I'm with Rachel. I mean, the fact is sometimes like mamas want what mamas want. And sometimes you just, you know, you're, you're, you find yourself at Dairy Queen, you know, at, at 10 PM. But, you know, I do think there's some things that you can do practically that don't involve you, you know, paying that premium of going to a restaurant. And I think at the grocery store,

as much as you can, and I normally wouldn't recommend this, but as much as you can buy like prepackaged things, like, you know, your thing is wings, like buy a prepackaged bag of wings that all you have to do is like throw them on the sheet pan, put them in the oven or put them in the air fryer. And as much as you can pre like on that one day, you know, that those few hours that you're feeling good, as much as you can meal prep a couple of things. So if it's like, all right, I'm going to like make this grown beef right now and I'm just going to put it in a thing so that when I'm hungry, I can quickly put it on some tortilla chips and eat some nachos.

You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying you have to eat chicken and broccoli, but if you have those pregnancy cravings that you can quickly open up the fridge, it's already sitting there in a Tupperware. It's frozen. You made your chili the night before, you know, you've got your chili frozen. You got your wings that are in there. You know, whatever those favorites are that you have, you've got an apple pie, got your wings that are in there you've you know whatever those favorites are that you have you've got an apple pie you know in the deep freeze that as much as you can do those things you keep your own ice cream at the house so you don't have to go to Dairy Queen yeah that makes a big difference it really does and let me say this joy someone said

this to me years ago as a mom and it was such like it seemed like such simple advice but it was so freeing for me so all the moms out there was like, every dinner does not have to be this beautiful gourmet dinner. Sometimes it's just sandwiches. Like sometimes it's peanut butter and jelly and we're going. So I also want to give you permission. Don't feel bad because I think moms can take on that level of responsibility of like, okay, we need to eat healthy.

We need to eat organic. It needs to be gluten free and everything needs to be homemade. It needs to, it's like all this stuff. And sure, there's a place for that, um but overall too like it's okay it's okay that some nights it's like listen we're doing cereal we're doing eggs and bacon and breakfast for dinner but it's like it's that things don't have to be you know you don't have to have this perfect spread every night so give yourself a lot of grace a lot of grace joy a lot of grace keep Joy, a lot of grace. Keep it simple. Keep it simple.

That's what I, that's one of my meal planning things. I'll tell you this real quick. I always tell people, I'm like, if you're trying to meal plan, cook four, cook four, no more. That's what I say. I cook four things and then I double the recipe and I freeze it. And that way I'm good, not only for that week, but I'm good for the next week because I've got, you know, or, you know, weeks to come because there's stuff in the freezer.

And then when it comes to recipes, keep it simple. I mean, I'm talking like two, three ingredients sometimes. Yep. Three, four, you know, there's nothing wrong with, you know, getting a piece of French bread from the bakery and putting some sauce on it and some cheese and making a French bread pizza for dinner. I like Rachel's thing of peanut butter and jelly. If somebody gave me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich tonight, I would be a happy, I would go to sleep a happy woman. That's right. I know, but it's, it's, it is so funny that I, you, or I did, I felt that. And I remember talking to a French, like I was just doing sandwiches for dinner. And I was like,

oh my, that's an option. Like on a hard day, like that's an option and it's good. So free yourself from that joy and, uh, and good luck. And luck and i pray yeah all health and stuff for the baby and delivery and pregnancy and all the things yes for that third um that's so great but yeah that but food it is it's the number one budget buster it's the place that we tell a lot of people even to cut with restaurants um and you've done so much, Jade, on especially Instagram, about figuring out, hey, what are healthy, you know, good, healthy meals. Yes. But also quick and easy. Quick and easy. All of it. So yeah, you know, from for me, it's all about being realistic. Because if you don't like to cook, then don't plan on cooking like this elaborate meal, like choose recipes. It's

like, okay, I will actually put in the work to do this. This is something that we'll actually eat. You know, I think so much of it is being realistic. And from my point of view, it's about for this season in my life, because that's another part of it, picking things that I can pre cook,

keep them in the freezer, pull them out when it's ready. Cause your girl is not trying to cook when she gets home. Like literally this whole week has been about me grabbing whatever was in the freezer the night before putting it in the fridge so when I get home all I have to do is dump it in the pan heat it up put the rice I pre-cook rice I do so many portions of rice and do them ahead of time so many portions of quinoa and do them ahead of time I you know pre-cut andcut and steam the different vegetables ahead of time and they're already there, ready to go. And it really takes the guessing out of it for me.

It's like the other night we were coming home and I thought, oh, we could stop at Chick-fil-A. I could pick up salads. And I was like, I already have food. And it's things that we like. So it kind of just simplifies it. And, you know, it makes life a lot easier. And I got to say a lot healthier. That's right.

That's right. And the saving money on that side. I think it was George that had a video about the average meal when you cook at home, what it is versus out to eat. And you just look at the numbers, you look at the stats and you're like, man, it is so expensive. And for a family of five, when we go out,'m like even to chick-fil-a it's painful like you're spent i'm like this is like this is crazy i mean it just it feels if it because it is it's so much it is so much so you can spend fifty dollars at chick-fil-a if you're not easily seventy dollars if you're not careful easily like it's it's wild so all of you on the journey of getting

out of debt that we're cutting the restaurants Eating at home Is a great jump start To freeing up Some margin in your budget Jade Great hour So fun Love hosting with you Thank you to all

The gentlemen there In the booth And thank you America for listening This is The Ramsey Show