The Ramsey Show - App - A Powerful Debt-Free Journey That Leaves a Legacy (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Preparing for filing taxes, How to walk through a potential job change, An emotional Debt-Free Scream. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today as we answer your questions about your life and your money, your relationships, your mental health, your jobs, and your careers. This is The Ramsey Show. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Chad is in Minneapolis. Hi, Chad. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Thanks for having me on. Sure. What's up? So I'm in kind of step five slash upgrade to six. Quick back story. I've got a $130,000 paid for home with $100,000 in the bank, and we'll be looking to upgrade here recently or in the future. I think I might have had the question, but my salary was about $110,000 and then through some

restructuring negotiation within my organization, I got up to $120,000 salary with a $30,000 bonus and a 12,000 car allowance. So that brings me up to about 160. There's not any income restrictions on having a designated Roth 401k through my employer, is it? Or is that through IRA? No income restrictions, only on IRAs. Okay. And then, and that, so that that sort of solves that one. My one question there is, because I'm going to be looking to upgrade my house. You're single, right? I am engaged. So we've got six kids together, so it's a very busy household.

So we need a little more room to grow. You've got six kids and you've been too busy to get married? No, so I have four children from a previous marriage and she has two from a previous marriage. I thought you had six together. You're just trying to still feeling it out a little bit, see if this is the one. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Jeez. Yeah. But I'm going to be receiving a check from, I never took care of it through the divorce, of about $28,000 through a QDRO for my ex's pension. Does it make sense to... That you can just roll to an IRA. Right. make sense to that you can roll that you can just roll to an ira right but does it is it is it very anti-ramsey to pay the pay the penalty get that in cash so i can have a larger down payment on a bigger house it doesn't really matter if it's anti-ramsey it just you're going to give the government a whole big pile of money that i wouldn't do i mean it's not well you're ramsey thing it's you know you're

going to give the government 30 30 you're borrowing extra down payment money at 30 interest right no but i wouldn't give the government 30 of my money earned that money i would have been i would have paid that same. Yeah, but I mean, I have a pile of money. I have the opportunity to borrow money at 30% interest to put more on my down payment on my house. I think I'll pass. And you didn't earn it. Yeah.

Like, if I got hit by a meteor, I'd probably do things differently today, but I didn't, right? So you didn't earn the money. And so, yeah, I wouldn't. Would you take out an additional small loan at 30% to put a down payment on your house? No. Same thing. Same thing, man. Same math.

Yep. So, yeah, just roll it to a traditional, max out your Roth, a 401K over at work, or up to 15%, and then save like a crazy person and finish up your down payment. Get the down payment as big as you can get it. You're heading in the right direction. I know it feels like you had a pile of money coming, and it's going to feel so good. It's not.

It's just not. You're going to give a pile of money to the government if you do that, and we don't give money to the government. It's not a Ramsey thing, though. It's just a math thing. You stole that principle from math, Dave. You're full of one-liners on this particular call, I'm just saying. Cubana is with us in Baton Rouge.

Hey, Cubana, what's up? Hi, Ramsey. Can you hear me? Absolutely. How can we help? Okay. So my husband and I, we opened up a company back in May of 2021, and I wanted to know how can I make sure that our personal and business finances is ready for the tax season? Okay.

Back in May of 2021, I would have started this. If you haven't you're gonna have to go back and do it starting now does the company have a separate checking account that you only do business out of yes it does okay if you only put business money or income into that account and you only paid business expenses out of that account and you didn't do it anywhere else that account the income and outgo of that account will show what your business has done because it shows your revenue and it shows your expenses and what's left is called profit um it does but uh honestly i never really looked at it because i didn't know what to look for and i recently started looking at

it when i found when I found you on YouTube, I think, or maybe it was an influence on Instagram, I'm not sure, but I started looking, and I was getting a little insecure about the numbers, because I know we have an audit coming up in May for the company, what is it called, Workers' Comp? Oh, a Workers' Comp audit. It's a people-based agency. audit agency yeah yeah i wouldn't be i wouldn't be freaked out about it jump online at ramsey solutions.com and click on uh elp it stands for endorsed local provider find a tax person there in baton rouge that we endorse

they probably also do small business bookkeeping and you'll be able to pay them a fee to untangle your barrel of fish hooks so basically you got like three ski ropes all wrapped together and twist it up and that's all of your numbers but they're all there they're all in the barrel we just got to get them out and untangle them and show your proper income your proper expenses, and your proper profit, and that'll also help you get your taxes ready for 2022, and it'll set you up perfectly for your workers' comp audit, so you can know what to pay properly on the workers' comp. It should, if you have all your expenses in there, in that account, or anywhere where you can get your hands on them, then you can go back and develop a profit loss statement for the six months of 2021, and that's really what needs to happen and a bookkeeper can help you

do that this is it's really sixth grade math and organization is all it is it's not a it's not a super difficult uh intellectual exercise anybody can do it uh it's just a matter you got to get all the expenses for each month categorize got to get all the expenses for each month, categorize them by category, all the income for each month, categorize it by category. The difference in the two is your profit. And if you do that six times for six months, you have your income statement or your profit and loss statement for the year 2021 since you opened around June 1st of 2021. And you'll be there.

But if you need some help, you can pay somebody a few hundred dollars. If the company's making money to do it for you, I personally can't stand to do that kind of stuff. It drives me nuts. So it's one of the first things I'd pay somebody else to do. But I know how to do it. I just don't want to do it. I'm just lazy in that way. I don't want to. It. And just lazy in that way. I don't want it.

It's just ugh. It's ugh. Yeah, but if you want to do it, we have people that we can hook you up to do the ugh, right? That's how it works. This is The Ramsey Show. At 25, I thought I was hot stuff, but I was actually a hot mess. The good news is the dumb mistakes you make in the past do not determine your future. Your decisions today do. After going bankrupt, I set out to learn the right way of managing money,

and I developed the Ramsey Baby Steps. Now, after three decades of guiding millions of others through the Baby Steps, it's clear this proven plan works. Right now, my number one bundle, the starter special, is 70% off and has everything you need to get rid of debt and plan for your future. In this bundle, you'll get our best-selling book, The Total Money Makeover, Rachel Cruz's newest bestseller, Know Yourself, Know Your Money, and her new money assessment, plus so much more. If you want to get out of debt, build wealth, set your children up for success,

and plan for retirement, here's where you start. So order the starter special while it's 70% off at RamseySolutions.com. That's RamseySolutions.com. Seems like January 1st is two years ago. How are your resolutions going? You're like most people, you hit it hard in January, and by Valentine's Day, they were done. Well, you can reach all of your money goals this year, but it takes accountability. It takes intentionality.

It takes a plan to get them done. And you get all of this by joining a Financial Peace University class. You'll go through our proven money plan with other people who will help you stay motivated. They'll hold you accountable. They'll encourage you because they're trying to get out of debt and build wealth just like you are. Financial Peace University classes are both in person and they're online. There's no excuse not to give this a try.

You can get back on track with your money goals. Almost 10 million people have been through this class and have had successful results, not only getting out of debt, but many of them have gone on to become baby steps millionaires following the baby steps. That's where we wrote the number one best-selling book from. So get started for free, a free trial for Financial Peace University at RamseySolutions.com. That's RamseySolutions.com. Adam is with us in Atlanta.

Hi, Adam. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, guys. Thank you for having me. Sure. What's up? So I've made some pretty dumb mistakes, and I'm pretty terrified of making some more, so I was hoping I could get some advice on, I guess, how I can

move forward with getting a house. I've got some car debt from some pretty stupid mistakes. Been there, done that, trying to get rid of it now. I've got about $20,000 in savings that I could either use to dump into the car debt and try and get rid of it as fast as possible, or do I try and keep building off of that to get enough for a down payment for the house cool good that's a good question it's a valid question how old are you i am 29 okay and you're fairly new to this whole ramsey stuff right um i've been around it a lot but pretty much ignored it most of my life but uh that means you're new to it trying Trying to get started now.

That's okay. That's okay. It's all good. And what do you make a year? I'm right around $105,000 a year. Good for you. And you're single? I am.

Okay. What do you owe on the car? Right around $38,000. Okay. Is that your only debt? I kicked my student loans to the curb uh last month they are gone now way to go yeah the car's it the car is it all right well there's two ways to go at this okay the fast way to get a house is dump the car and get you a cheap car get you a cheap

car and pay cash for it the slow way to get a house is get the car paid off and then save up your down payment. I tell people, and there's a reason for this. It's not just because I don't want people to. Here's the thing. I want you to own a house. I grew up in the real estate business. I love real estate.

I think owning real estate is an essential part of building wealth long term. So I do want you to get a house. I just don't want the house to get you and when you have a thirty eight thousand dollar car debt uh you don't need a house till you get that mess cleaned up okay because it's going to bite you in the butt uh so i want you to have here's the thing you move into a house with a car debt and no money and you put all your money down on the house as soon as you do something's going to break on the house, the roof's going to leak. Yep.

Just Murphy's Law. Okay, but if you move into a house with no car debt and an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses and put your down payment down, so you've got money in the bank, no debt when you move in, nothing will happen to this house. It'll be perfect. You'll love it. That's how life works, man.

What kind of car is it? It's a late model Kia. it's a couple years old what could you get for it right now probably more than i paid for it probably more than 38 i could probably get around 45 according to kelly blue book brother sell it yesterday do you love this car has it wormed its way into your heart um i do like it but i don't know if i like it that much yeah so here's the thing yeah i'd sell it what i just told you was the best way the only way i would tell you to buy a house and i do want you to buy a house is when you have no debt and have an emergency fund plus your down payment okay gotcha so the two ways to get there are quickly dump the car buy a seven thousand dollar car for cash you have no debt build your emergency

fund then build your down payment and then buy you a house that's going to happen very quick you have a house by christmas or pay this car off keep it build your emergency fund build your down payment and you'll have a house by the next christmas or the one after that either one's okay there's nothing dumb here because the car is not completely out of control given your income it's getting close but it's not completely out of control if you want to know what out of control is, don't own things with wheels and motors all totaled up to be equal more than half your annual income. And you're not there. Fair enough. Unless you've got other things with wheels or motors that we don't know about.

No, sir. But if this is the only one you've got, it's below half your annual income. So it's keeper. It's okay. But you need to get it paid off for you by a house. Or the stars have aligned and you can get rid of this thing. You can have $7,000. You can walk over to the lot and buy a beater. $ stars have aligned and you can get rid of this thing. You can have 7,000 bucks. You can walk over to the lot

and buy a beater. 7,000 is not a beater. Right? A sustainable car. Yeah. And man, now you're talking, you're debt free.

You got 20 grand in the bank. You are well on your way now. You could buy George Campbell's Honda for less than 7,000. You could buy that for about $1.45. Have you seen that thing? He starts it with a rope out in the parking lot, Dave.

A rope. It's ridiculous. A rope. He has to spin the propeller to get it to stop. I drive bad cars, and that car makes me go, come on, man. George is truly not a car guy. I've been giving him a hard time on the air about his car.

So, yeah, you can go either way, Adam. Personally, I like cars. I'm a car guy. But I like houses more because they go up in value. And until recently, cars have never gone up in value, and they won't long term. But recently, they have been. So I personally would dump a stupid thing while the getting's good and get me a house and then move up in car with cash later after I get my house.

But it's not a big deal either way. You're not in the dumb column either direction. Not compared with what you after I get my house. But it's not a big deal either way. You're not in the dumb column either direction. Not compared with what you and I have done before. You're nowhere near us, Adam. Yeah, yeah, you got both of us beat. I mean, you're a lot smarter than we were. So, all right, Nathan's in Birmingham. Hey, Nathan, what's up?

Hey, Dave. Quick question for you about long-term disability. I just switched jobs, got a new job, and looking at purchasing it. Question is, do I go through my employer or do I go kind of the personal route and get my own long-term disability and keep it with me, you know, if I were to switch jobs in the future, et cetera? Yeah, you can get it most anywhere i would get it through your employer just because you're going to find it to be about

probably 25 probably 75 cheaper than in the open market a group policy on on long-term disability is just it's one of the best buys out there it's very inexpensive i'll tell you how inexpensive is it's it's the only kind of insurance at Ramsey that I pay 100% of as the employer. We furnish it as a benefit. It just doesn't cost me much to give it to everybody. Nothing like health insurance, for sure. And so, you know, we pay almost all the health insurance, but not all of it. We want everybody to have a little skin in the game on that.

But this stuff just doesn't cost much. But if you go buy it as an individual policy, I bet you're going to find it's 4x okay i maybe it may be 3x but i mean somewhere in there it's a lot more so buy it through your employer and here's the other thing if you will buy it with after tax dollars after your check has gotten the taxes out of it not before tax dollars that's what I would do. Because then if you become disabled, your disability income is not taxable. Oh, that's a good one. I didn't know that.

If you buy it with pre-tax dollars, your disability income is taxable. And it's a big difference. Big difference. I had no idea they would tax your disability income. Man, they will take it all. They tax everything, man. Yeah. Tax everything.

So, yeah. But still, especially if you're in this cost issue will be better, especially if you're in some kind of an industry where you're not just driving. If you're just driving a desk, it's just white-collared. The category of work you do dictates the cost of long-term disability more than your age or health. What about those little $12 a month to buy the three-month? Oh, that's awful.

Is it bad? Awful. Stay away from that stuff. That's just gimmick stuff. You need an emergency fund to cover that, John. So that's all you need. You have self-insured through that. It's the long-term disability that's the problem.

This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Debbie, Austin, Kate, and Allison are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? We're great, Dave. Welcome. Where do you live? We live in Northwest Indiana, just outside of Chicago, Illinois. Okay, cool. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you.

And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. Yes. Very fun. How much did you pay off? $168,000 in 12 years. But our journey actually started in 09, or actually, no, 07, when we paid off $40,000 in two years. And that was credit cards, student loans, all the stupid things that my husband and I did.

So when you put the two together, that's our total. Okay, all right. And yeah, okay, I got you. And your range of household income, I don't know, through the 12 years maybe? Yes, we started at 100 and just doubled. Okay, all right. What do you do for a living?

I work at a church. I'm a children's ministry director. Very good. And what was the $8 000 um the mortgage oh look at the she's rolling out the spreadsheet covered the whole refrigerator yes it did i love it that is a spreadsheet of all spreadsheets. So that's the 12 years of marking it out. Yeah.

Okay. So 09, you guys ran into us, I guess. In 07, we ran into you. Okay. And then two years later, we paid off. You were debt free, but the house. But the house. And then 12 years more, the house is paid off.

Correct. Very good. What's the house worth? I believe the house is worth $350,000 now. Cool, cool. And how much do you have in investments? Well, my husband recently passed away. Oh, my.

Five months ago. Oh, my. So that's a part of the story then, a big part of the story. Yeah, this is a big part of our story. Okay, well, tell me the whole thing. Let me back up. Yeah, I'll let you start, start you tell the story okay um so ryan my husband uh loved to spend money and so his mentality was just to charge it and so um when we found you in 07 he was a deacon at our

church and they asked him they asked him to find something um to get us to help people in our church to do our finances. And he came across your program, and he listened to it in two days, and he came home and he said, Honey, we're cutting up our credit cards, and we're going to get out of debt. And you're like, Who are you, and what have you done with my husband? I was. Because it was something that I always wanted, but just wasn't able to get both of us on board at the same time so uh we went

through it we he delivered pizzas i watched 10 kids in my home um the kids picked up cans in the ditches like everything we paid towards that forty thousand dollars went off um to the forty thousand dollars so then after that um we kind of slowed our lives down because we were we had three kids and we were really busy. And during that time, Ryan found the job that he was currently at, Milwaukee Valve. And so he was working more and had a goal in mind and wanted to get to that goal. And so we kind of slowed things down. And so then over the 12 years, we colored off our lines as much as we could.

We did cash flow Christian education. My kids went to Christian school. Austin just will be graduating in May with a degree in business, and we cash flowed his four years of college. Allison's in high school, and Kate is a freshman at Florida Gulf Coast University studying marine science. Yay. So with all of that, we cashed Flo $300,000 in tuition.

Wow. So, yeah. So what happened? What kind of illness did he have? He had a blood clot to the heart. So no warning? No. It was a complete and utter shock.

He passed on September 22nd. Oh, my. How old was he? 46. Oh, Lord. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So my family and I are, I would be in a completely different situation today had Dave Ramsey not crossed my husband's path 15 years ago.

Because I know that I would not be financially secure where I am today. I know I would be selling my home. I'd be getting a full-time job. And I don't because he had everything in place and I'm completely taken care of. What a good man. He was the best. Oh my gosh. gosh so um yeah god is good he is providing for us he has been amazing um i just can't speak enough about our lord yeah and uh but the suddenness of this tragedy it's that that's what gets you yes i mean it always gets you but the suddenness of this and as young as he was amazing and he was a great dad and great husband to boot oh my gosh his dream was to come here when we saw um paid off the house and so we're that uh picture i just saw in the corner over there that is a car that is a truck i drove um it was a 2002 uh yukon excel

and uh she sees the truck we see the husband look at that there's the truck for those of you watching on youtube you saw the photo the real heartache in that photo is that truck right he always uh said honey that truck's gonna make us rich one day oh that's a good line hey just just so you know debbie he's here with you yes he's, he's here with you. Yes. He's here. He is. He's here with all of us. Absolutely. It's awesome. Yeah, and Austin's got the headset on, the second headset. Yes.

So, Austin, you were in college when all this was going on, right? Yeah. So, he was sick for about two weeks. And, I mean, me and him would talk on the phone every day for like 40 minutes every day. And for two weeks, he just wouldn't pick up his phone. And it was pretty hard. But then the day before he passed, he felt better, and we talked on the phone.

And I was like starting to apply for jobs and stuff like that, and he just said he was proud. And then the next day, he was gone. Those are the three most important words a father can say to his son is, I'm proud of you. I'm so glad you got to hear that, man. What a gift. He said that to his kids a lot. Oh, gosh. What a great man.

What a great man. It looks to me like he had good reason to be proud. Absolutely. Absolutely. You guys are studs. You're amazing. Thank you. Very cool.

Well, paying off the house and all that stuff really doesn't matter um in the light of all of this except that it gives you a comfortable uh safe place to grieve this extreme loss uh i mean god if you had payments and stuff coming out your ears and everything else would be a whole different world for you yes and so it's a horrible thing that you guys have gone through, but the best possible way to go through a horrible thing, I guess, is the only way I know how to say it. And there's nothing cooler than people say the words, I love you, a lot, I'm proud of you, a lot.

And right now, y'all are living what love looks like, what love, love with feet and hands on it, right, which is a plan that he worked at in the middle of the night, probably while we were sleeping to make sure that things were going to be okay. Well, look at that spreadsheet. That's unbelievable. Well, yeah, there's that one. That's unbelievable. There's the insurances and the stuff.

Just beautiful, man. I love this guy. I was in the office next to, he had it on the wall, get up, leave the cave, kill something, drag it home with the mortgage principle right next to it. Love this guy. Oh, my gosh. He was a huge, huge Dave Ramsey fan.

I'm a huge fan of his. He would listen to your podcast every day. It didn't matter where we were. It was always on. What a legacy. Talk about changing family tree, man. Yes, he did. Wow.

Yes, he did did thank you guys for coming to share and it's a painful thing for you to have to share um but uh what a wonderful way to honor the work your whole family has done but certainly the the leadership that he brought to your family on this subject was pretty incredible and set you guys up to win so thank you for sharing that oh i think my allergies are acting up john yeah there's dust in here man there's dust in here i'm not crying you're crying oh you guys are awesome thank you so much you're we're so proud of you thank you very well done well we've got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you uh if you're not already you will be you've got the got the table set

and the next chapter. It wasn't the way you wrote the book. It wasn't the way you were going to write it, but the next chapter is here and you guys are all set up to go on and move to what God's got for you next. Pretty incredible. Count it down.

Let's hear a great Dead Free scream. Three, two, one. We're dead free! We're dead free! scream three two one wow this is the Ramsey show Thank you. Our scripture today, Psalm 145, 18. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Winston Churchill said, Truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it.

Ignorance may deride it. Malice may distort it. But there it is. I have never heard that quote from him. I haven't either. I love it. Fab it fabulous quote all right we went out and okay take a minute after that met with debbie and the kids after during the commercial break almost didn't make it back in uh because the hugs and oh my gosh what a um poignant thing oh my gosh how often i've heard that question asked um when somebody actually sets everything up to take care of their their family i i hear that question with some

regularity over the years it's almost as if they knew yeah well we do know that's right i love your answer so her in-laws ask her because he her husband had everything set up the wills and everything was set up uh so what happened her in-laws said did, because her husband had everything set up, the wills and everything was set up. So what happened, her in-laws said, well, did he know he was going to pass? And we're like, yeah, we all know we're going to pass. That's why we do this. You can choose to love your family or not. We get our act together.

Oh, my goodness gracious. Beautiful. What three incredible young men and women. Their kids. Their kids. Wow. What a great legacy. All right, Alan is in Chicago.

Hey, Alan, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? I got a career question for you. I'm a driver trainer for a small mom-and-pop-owned trucking company. I make about $93,000 a year. I got an offer at a bigger, more corporate trucking company. I make about $93,000 a year. I got an offer at a bigger, more corporate

trucking company, and the new job would be about $6 more an hour, but they're not guaranteed overtime. The job I'm at now, I'm guaranteed $20,000 to $25,000, so I'm working about $25,000. Translate all of that into annual income. What are you going to make at the new place annually, and what did you make at the new place annually and what did you make at the at the current place annual 93 annually at the current place the new place they're not guarantee me over time there's some available i know what do you think you'll make about 70 why would you go down well it'd be 15 hours less a week so i'd'd have more home time, I guess. How many hours are you working? 65 now.

Okay. Will mom and pop operation let you adjust down? Could. Yes, probably would. I like the income, though. That's the only thing. I like the income. I don't mind a baby step seven, no kids, anything of that nature. So the hours aren't really bothering me.

Hours aren't bothering you to make more money. why would you take less hours and work less then because i figured the bigger the bigger company the corporate company would have probably more um uh future opportunities i guess they have to be a lot because you're taking a 30 pay cut and there's something about there's something about going from a small organization where you're kind of the big dog you're a leader to man you will be a expendable number at a big giant corporation yeah that's where i went your guys advice on it at i think that the new job obviously would have more an hour but less hours they weren't guaranteed the overtime there yeah but you're gonna make less money and you told me money was important to you and hours didn't bother you true true so why would you go make less money and work for a big company no if you were a burned out

father with a couple of young kids and you're like man i'm working 90 hours a week i miss my family okay i got this other off ramp well Well, then that's a different discussion, but. I wouldn't want you to describe. Yeah, I'd stay where you are, man. Jennifer's in New York City. Hi, Jennifer. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you.

What's up? So I was calling for some advice. My mom's husband just passed a month ago, and they had nothing planned, no will, no advanced directive. So my brother and I are trying to take this as a learning experience and I did print out will, advanced directive, and I'm planning on speaking to her about it. And I just want to see where I should, any advice where to go from here. She also is a hoarder, and I have my own family and my own. I'm very busy, so I'm just trying to navigate. So what is your question?

What do you want? How can we help you? Just some advice of how to speak to her about this next chapter of her life and what advice you'd have for speaking to her about what to do with all of her stuff and basically, yeah. You mean in terms of what to do in terms of her getting a will done yeah yeah okay trying to get her to put something on paper something concrete so we don't have another nightmare yeah well that's the way i would approach it it's mom

it would be a gift to me and to my brother if you had a will, even if you leave it all to someone else. I don't need the money. But if you would just make it easier to deal with upon your death what you want done by having a will, it would be a gift to us. And if you want some help getting all that done, Jennifer, just go to MamaBearLegalForms.com. MamaBearLegal legal forms.com mama bear legal forms.com and you can get a downloadable will very inexpensively and she can you can you can help her for 30 minutes to an hour she can get it all filled out and she'd have a will

um but yeah you know that but then she has the right to you know if you make it easy for her to do by coaching her holding her hand and getting her to sign it, but not because she thinks you want her money or you want her dead or something weird like that, but just because you want to be able to make sure her wishes are fulfilled and you're asking her to give you the gift of clarity and legal clarity. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that sounds good. It sounds like your mom has struggled with, does she have mental health challenges? She's a hoarder. She's got stuff going on in her heart and mind?

Yeah. So have some space in reality. Have some space in your heart that this conversation may not go well, that she may accuse you of all kinds of things, get mad at you, and not want to think about her own death or letting go of her stuff. And know that that's stuff that she may accuse you of all kind of things get mad at you and not want to think about her own death or letting go of her stuff and know that that's stuff that she's struggling with that's

not on you okay you're the responsible thing is to have this hard conversation with dignity and respect but if it doesn't go well it doesn't go well you know what i mean and it's not worth going to war with um a mom who's not well But it is worth having that conversation. You know, you ask, and you hold the subject lightly. Don't let your relationship with her hinge on whether she does this or not. Okay. And maybe tell her that you, hopefully you are, you and your home, y'all are getting your wills all taken care of, and your brother's getting his all taken care of.

This is just, hey, the family learned a hard lesson with your husband passed and we're going to make sure this doesn't happen we've got it all set up and we'd love to have this conversation with you yeah that's that's a big deal and the big thing is this it's very hard for any parent to take instruction regardless of their age from their children yeah we call it the powdered butt syndrome once someone has powdered your butt they don't want your opinion on sex or money from their children. Yeah. We call it the powdered butt syndrome. Once someone has powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion on sex or money. Okay? And so it's hard.

It doesn't even, even though she, you may be, you might be an estate planning attorney. Doesn't matter. And she might have never graduated kindergarten, but it doesn't matter. She's still your mother, and she still thinks she knows better than you. That's just how parenting works. So this is not something you're going to go tell her, you need to. That's not how you do this. No, no, no, no, no. Here's how you can love and help me.

Please give me the gift of, use the word gift. It would be a gift to me, just like if your husband had had all this done, it would have been a gift to you and us we wouldn't have been working through all this in the barrel of fish hooks right now we would have instead been um you know we would have been just grieving his passing instead we've got to work through all these legal challenges and ownership challenges because he didn't have this done and so it's reminding me i'm doing it for my family brother's doing it for his family and it would be a gift to us if you would do it to help us with you.

And, Mom, we don't want your money. It's not about money. You do whatever you want to do with your money. It's your money. It's your money. We're not here to try to get your money. That's not the agenda or your stuff. We want to honor your wishes the best we can.

Yeah, we want you to have your will upon your death told to us, and it's called a will. That's why they call it that. So it's absolutely vital. John Deloney, good show. Thank you, sir. Good show to the folks in the booth. Great work back there.

I'm Dave Ramsey. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you,

go to ramseysolutions.com slash show.