The Ramsey Show - App - Afraid, Angry, and Divorcing a Gambling Addict (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

The show about you

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. This is your show. Thank you for joining us. It's your show because it's one of the few talk radio shows where we actually talk about you the whole time. We're glad you're here. Thanks for joining us. AJ is starting off this hour in Cincinnati. Hey AJ, what's up? Hi Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? I just have a question for you. My situation is a little

rough, so I apologize for starting out your show on a horrible note, but my husband decided to walk out on our marriage. We've been married for eight years, and this was at Christmas time this past year, and this was all while I was nine months pregnant with our third baby. Wow. Yeah. He is still contributing financially to our bank account. However, he's basically moved out with his sister. Basically, as soon as I got home from the hospital, he was gone. And he is at the point where he's pushing me to divorce. And pretty much quickly, he wants to get his own place.

And so he wants to get his own place. And, um, so he wants to sell our house super quick. And, um, I'm kind of coming to grips with the fact that, you know, I'm a stay at home mom. Um, so I'm kind of understanding now I'm at the point where I'm going to have to become a full-time worker in my future. Um, I'm a believer in Christ, so I know that he holds my future. future, but I'm scared at the same time. And, you know, if I'm your daughter in this situation, what do I need to do for my financial future? I'm so sorry. That is scary. It's very scary. Yeah. So what in the world has he just, I mean, gone off the ranch? I mean, that's just wild.

Yeah, he doesn't really tell. I'm assuming it's because there's another person, but he won't admit that ever. And I've also recently found out that he's gotten himself into a $30,000 gambling debt that occurred two years ago when I thought we had been tithing to our church. Come to find out we weren't. And he had been paying about $500 something a month just to pay that debt. And that's kind of, you know. Is that debt in his name only?

Yes, correct. Okay. And what does he earn a year? He just got a new job where he's making $105,000. And I work part-time from home. I make $6,000. Okay. Let's first establish that a normal human in your situation would be afraid,

and right after that you would be angry? Correct. Okay. And then while you're doing all of that, you also have to stop and set those two things aside for purposes of negotiating with him because he's a world-class liar and manipulator because he's a gambling addict. And so I know that. i know that he's an

addict because of the amount of debt and the fact that he was hiding all of it yeah okay and so and 100 of addicts and addicts will all shake their head with me are manipulators and liars it goes with the disease okay so you got to understand that's what you're dealing with and so uh a friend of mine that does divorce recovery says divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction and so you are in a business partnership with a person who manipulates lies and is addicted to gambling you will not let him listen to me carefully you will not let him set the terms of this divorce yeah he is not in control of this you are right you're going to take everything for those kids yeah you understand yeah and i think everything because he makes makes the month the bulk of the

income he thinks that you know he can. No, it's the opposite. You're about to control the bulk of his income. It's called child support for three kids, one that was just born. The judge is going to knock the mathematics into next week. He is not going to like this process. I'm telling you, can you imagine going before the judge with a newborn? Right. And this guy's a gambling addict.

I mean, can you imagine how bad the judge is going to beat and this guy's a gambling addict i mean can you imagine how bad the judge is going to beat the snot out of him okay so you totally are in a position of power here while you're afraid while you're angry you set those two things aside from a negotiator's perspective you hold all the cards he's got none no pun intended okay you really got to hear that loud and clear because child support for these three kids on a hundred and something thousand dollars a year it needs to be sub-frequential yeah it's a big deal okay now what do you guys owe on this home um we're currently about 115 We just moved in about a year ago. What is the home worth? I don't even know, to be honest with you.

Roughly, roughly. Is it worth $500,000 or $200,000? I would say probably $200,000. Okay. You got a little equity then, maybe. Okay. Yeah, like I said, I mean, he knows a lot more than I do. Is there anything in his 401K?

Like $1,500, not much at all. Like we have barely anything in savings. Do you have any other debts? Car? I have my car and he has his car. Debt? I leased my car. Is that exclusively in your name?

No, it's in his name. Good. Is the other car exclusively in his name? Yeah, he just bought it like a his name. Good. Is the other car exclusively in his name? Yeah, he just bought it like a week ago. Good. So he's making lots of decisions. Good. So the judge is about to give him two leased cars,

and you're going to get you a beater that you pay cash for. You don't need a car payment. Right. So you've got a big pile of child support, no car payment and no debt, except maybe you keep this house. That's a decision we'll think of later, okay? Right. You kind of got a big pile of child support, no car payment and no debt, except maybe you keep this house. That's a decision we'll think of later, okay? Right. You kind of hearing how this is going?

Yeah, I do. Now, what do you think you're going to do for a living? That's another thing. I have an associate's degree. In what? That was another office administration. How long has it been since you've worked? I work from home still with the same job, but full-time it's been about four years.

What did you make last time you worked full-time? Like $30,000. Okay. So here's the last piece of the equation then. Okay. Yes, you're going back to work. Yes, you're going to have a big pile of child support. No, you're not going to have any car payments.

You're not going to let him hand you that car. He gets these cars. They're in his name they're his problem okay and this is your negotiation and you're in control believe me you're going to get what you want in this negotiation if you will stand strong because you have the story to tell and he by the very nature of this story becomes the bad guy i'm not trying to beat him up i'm trying to protect your kids yeah and i got a thirty thousand dollar a year single mom with three kids on the line that's all i'm concerned about his welfare is not on my list of things to worry about right now okay right and yours either yours either right here's either you didn't take him to race you took them other three to either. You didn't take him to race.

You took them other three to race, but you didn't take this one to race. Okay. Well, thank you, sir. And listen, I want you to go through Financial Peace University as our gift. We're going to put you in the class and the one-year membership, so you've got access to all the videos. And I think you're going to get a job making $45,000, and I think you're going to get a pile of child support,

and you're probably going to be able to afford to stay in the house. That's questionable right now, but don't keep the house if you can't afford it, okay? Sell it and go rent something cheap, and don't let this redefine your whole life. This is just the beginning of the next chapter of your life, kiddo. I'm sorry. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. One Dental is a company I've been telling my listeners about because I know these guys will save you money at the dentist. One Dental is a dental savings program that allows you to go to one of over 158,000 dental practice locations nationwide and save on things like cleanings, dentures, root canals, crowns, and even orthodontics. Here's the really cool part.

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It's all about you. God's and Grandma's ways of handling money. Parker is with us in Ames, Iowa. Hi, Parker. How are you? I'm doing well, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve.

What's up? I'll try and make it quick for you. So I am getting married in about five months, and I'll have one semester left in school after I get married, and I'm super thankful that my fiancée has done an excellent job with her finances and will have about $20,000 in a saving account for us when we get married. Cool. She graduated last December, so not this most recent Christmas, but the one before that,

with a nursing degree from the University of Iowa and paid off the tiny bit of debt that she had, because she's debt-free. And I will be coming into the marriage with about $30,000 worth of college debt remaining and about $5,000 worth of vehicle debt remaining. So the question that I had for you was, do you think, in your opinion, that we should use that money that she'll have already saved to pay off that debt during the last semester that I'm in school, or if we should wait the six months until I start my job?

And the reason that it didn't seem straightforward to me was because the amount of money that she'll be making will have us living very nearly paycheck to paycheck. So we were thinking that the amount of money that she already had in the savings account would be used for the little bit of paycheck overruns that we might have each month. Okay, I wouldn't set up my budget to have paycheck overruns. I'd set it up to live on less than I make, regardless of what it is. While you have that last semester, you're still half college students. Now, in that last semester, you're already married at that point, right?

Okay, and what is your degree field in? Okay, cool. Yeah, well, you're coming out in a boom time so be perfect landing on that um in terms of landing a good position and so forth and what does she do uh she's a nurse okay and have you got the balance of school paid for uh no sir i will have about like i said about thirty thousand dollars worth of debt to pay off when i graduate i got that part but i'm saying uh during the time that that you're married and we're getting ready

to start paying off debt with her money what was formerly her money is now our money at the point you get married uh are you turning around and borrowing money to go to school um i will have to borrow about five thousand dollars for my last semester of school i'm super blessed to have my parents paying for a little bit of my schooling okay and the last semester of school again you will be married yes sir so the first thing i want you to do is stop borrowing after marriage and use some of that twenty thousand or whatever it is to pay cash for college let's not add debt. Yes, sir. First step of getting out of debt is don't add more.

Now, this is all after you're married. Then that last semester, you get ready to write the check. You don't borrow. You just write the check out of the money that is now ours because we have combined finances, okay? Okay. That's step one. So now we're dealing with $25,000 in debt,

but we're dealing with less cash left in the bank, four-year scenario. It's not the end of the world either way to hold that, but I would just challenge you to say, let's lay out our budget in such a way that we can live on less than we make during that semester. Let's live like college students, not like young marrieds buying everything in sight, and let's get you through school and get out there and double your income up. And then what will happen is that what little debt you have remaining, if we use up what was formerly her money to pay off the debt, will be cleared, and you all will build your emergency fund at light speed once you graduate.

So I'm going to clear the debt. And part of it is to force you to live on her income. Okay. Set your budget up to do that and you know but don't you know again part of getting out of debt a big part of getting out of debt is to raise your right hand it's where to never borrow again under any circumstances and so we just have to figure it out because we don't borrow money we have to figure it out because we don't borrow money so we have to figure it out because we don't borrow money. So we have to live on less than our income. If something comes up, car breaks, we've got to figure out a way to pay for it. I may have to deliver pizzas the last semester of school to add to some income

so that there's a little bit of fluff there. Or she may have to pick up some OT in her job, which she certainly can in her field of study. So all of that's good. But you get through that six months, and then you go just boom, man, it's going to be great because you're going to have great incomes, household, and you'll be able to just really attack, and the math will kick in big time. So you could do it the other way, but I suspect it's going to cause you to be sloppy in the management of your

monthly budget if you do that. Manny is in Chicago. Hi, Manny. How are you? Good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Well, first of all, I just want to say thank you for all the advice that you've given everybody else, and I'm just grateful to be able to speak with you finally. Well, thank you. How can I help? Well, I'm on Baby Step 2, and I got my $1,000 saved up. I am 22, about to return 23. And I purchased a car about a year and a half ago, of course, before learning all this new stuff. So right now the car is worth about $16,000 and I own $19,000, and I owe $19,000, about a little bit high, $19,000. I also have about $5,000 in credit card debt.

I'm trying to pay off, like you said, the lowest amount to largest amount first. But my question is, do I wait for me to catch up to the car loan so I won't be upside down, or should I try to get rid of it as soon as possible and then get like a beater car like you suggest? What's your income? I make about $35,000 a year. I would sell it as quickly as I could find a way to cover that upside down amount. Have you got the ability to borrow that amount? Yes, yes. I mean, I know how strict you are in paying the lowest to highest. And I mean, of course how strict you are in paying the lowest to highest. And, I mean, of course, that's probably one of the higher-end ones. No, that wasn't what I was talking about.

I mean, the $3,000 that you're upside down, do you have the ability to get that $3,000 together? I only have the $1,000 saved up on my emergency fund, and then, I mean, I can maybe get, like, a small-time loan to cover that for the that for the meantime yeah that's probably what you need to do because you have a car you can't afford either way yes i understand yes so you think i should um sell it as quickly as possible before i pay off the credit card sell it as quickly as possible as quick as you can get the three thousand dollars borrowed or whatever and get you a beater because you have a car that you can't afford you3,000 borrowed or whatever and get you a beater

because you have a car that you can't afford. You're trying to run a race with ankle weights on. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I wish I would. You're trying to go swimming with an anchor. It doesn't work. And this thing is the math of a $19,000 car debt for a 22-year-old that makes $30,000, $35,000 a year is absurd.

It's insanity mathematically. And so it's a nice car, but you have a car that is way beyond your means. Even if it was paid for, I would tell you to sell it. You have too much invested in things that are going down in value based on your income and your net worth. And so, you know, you need to be making $50,000, 60,000 bucks a year to even own a $19,000 car, even if it's paid for. So for it to make sense, because otherwise you have the largest thing we buy that goes down in value is a car.

So this thing's, it's punching you in the face, man. I would amputate the Tahoe. Kyle is with us in Indianapolis. Hi, Kyle. How are you? I'm wonderful. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve.

What's up? Awesome. Hey, I am so thankful to you. I cut up my credit card last year, and life has never been better. So thank you for all you do. Cool. I've currently got $209,000 in my 401K, $125,000 in an individual account, and another $20,000 in just checking savings. My question is, I have $134,000 to pay off on my house.

I'm just wondering if I should kind of cash in some of that individual to get the house paid for. I'm 40 years old. Why would you not do that? No other reason than just the safety of having it sit there yeah well you know you know how it works if your house was paid for and you didn't have this account would you go borrow 134 on your house so that you could feel better absolutely not you know it's the same thing, but I just did it backwards, right? Yep. So, hey, I'm debt-free by Friday if I'm you. Oh, this is Friday. Ha-ha!

Yeah, I'm out of debt. Thanks for the call, man. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Are high health care costs getting you down? Are you confused trying to navigate your options? Do you wish you could find an affordable, biblical solution to your health care costs? Based on New Testament principles, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together as the body of Christ to share their major health care costs. Christian Healthcare Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry, a Better Business Bureau-accredited organization

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In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Zach and Hannah are with us. Hey guys, how are you? Good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. Where are you all from? We are from Bartlesville, Oklahoma. What is that near?

That's about 40 miles north of Tulsa. Oh, okay. Cool. And all the way to Nashville to do a debt-free screen. Yeah, absolutely. Very cool. How much have you paid off? We have paid off around $49,000.

How long did that take? About 40 months or three years, four months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? We started off at around $65,000 and just in this past year bumped it up to $80,000. Good. What do you guys do for a living? We are both public school teachers.

I teach high school. She teaches elementary school. I'm also a part-time contemporary worship pastor. Oh, very cool. Very cool. What do you teach in high school? I teach Oklahoma history and financial literacy. Ah, there we go. Good. Very good. Very good. And in elementary school, you teach everything. Pretty much. Yeah, that's just, that's how that works. Okay, good. So what kind of debt was this, $49,000? We had about $26,000 worth of student loans and about a $23,000 car loan. Whoa.

And you kept the car. We did. And you cash flowed your way out of this, the whole thing. We did, yeah. We actually probably would have paid it off a little bit earlier, but last year she came to me and said she wanted to pursue her master's degree. Uh-huh. And so we figured out a way to pay for that without having to borrow a single penny.

There you go. We just slowed down the debt snowball a little doing that. But that made your income go up, right? It will. It was the part-time worship pastor position that actually bumped our income up from 65 to 80. Okay. But have you completed the master's? Not yet.

Oh, okay. I will in a year. Oh, when you do, that will cause the income to go up. Yes. I see. Okay, but have you completed the master's? Not yet. Oh, okay. I will in a year. Oh, when you do, that'll cause the income to go up. Yes. I see. Okay, good. Very cool. So what started you on this journey 40 months ago?

Is that when you got married? It was close. About the time, yeah. We actually, in teaching financial literacy, I used the state curriculum for about a year. The Oklahoma state curriculum is not really great. So I started looking around for other things and ran into some of the things you teach and thought this was really, really good stuff and we could use this.

And what better way to teach my kids than to apply it to my own life. Wow. So did you share with them you were going through that free journey? Oh, yeah. I teach the seven baby steps to all of my students to my own life. Wow. So did you share with them you were going through the debt-free journey? Oh, yeah. I teach the seven baby steps to all of my students. Oh, okay. Wow. Good for you guys.

Well done. So when people find out you paid off $49,000 in debt and they say, how did you do that? What do you tell them the key is to getting out of debt? Probably the biggest key for us was the budgeting, the envelope system. I will admit that I am more of the impulse spender. No, not the music guy. We won't mention a few things that I did buy. But that's why I kind of gave her charge of the envelopes.

I'll just say that. But the budget was probably the biggest deal, and sticking to that, and especially the cash system, because it really is harder to get rid of cash out of your wallet than it is to swipe a card. Hannah, what do you tell people when people ask you how you got out of debt? A lot of hard work. Kind of just having tunnel vision, knowing what you want, and being willing to sacrifice things to get there, and knowing that we're going to be better because of it.

Was it worth it? Oh, yeah. Our family will be better off for it. So we're hoping to start a family soon. Yeah. So we'll hopefully be teaching our kids those lessons too. Yeah. Yeah.

Very cool. Very cool. Will you ever go back in debt? Absolutely not. You're done? Absolutely. For life? Yes.

For life. Changed your family tree, then? Absolutely. Very well done. Good. Good. What was the hardest part of this for y'all? Ooh.

I think changing my mindset was probably the hardest. He was kind of all in from the get-go, and um i don't want to say leery but just um it was uncomfortable for me um i had just graduated when we started this and he was already out of school for a while so in my mind i have a brand new job i have money to spend you know well it's that was hard i think that was the hardest part probably for him too was changing my mindset but oh my gosh once he did and once we did, it was green light. Yeah, very cool. Very cool.

Good for you guys. Thanks. Very well done. Did you have people cheering you on or people saying you were nuts? Maybe a little bit of both. I think both of our parents were very, very supportive. My mom's an accountant, and so she cheered us on the whole way. She's extremely proud of us.

But I think both sets of our parents are really, really proud. That's good. That's the way it should be. Well done, you guys. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, number one bestseller, Retire Inspired. We want that to be your next chapter in your story, where you become millionaires and be

outrageously generous along the way. Absolutely. Thank you very much. Well done, you guys. Zach and Hannah from Oklahoma, the Tulsa area, $49,000 paid off in 40 months, making $65,000 to $80,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Ready?

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! There we go. I love it, I love it, I love it. Very well done, you guys. Very well done. That's fun stuff.

David is in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hi, David. How are you? I'm so much better than I deserve. It's a pleasure to talk to you today, Dave. You too, sir. How can I help? Hi.

I own a small business currently. We have about three employees. My wife and I are on baby step two, hoping to be done with that personally by the end of the year. And so I'm looking towards investing, and especially as a company, investing in for my employees. And I'm trying to figure out kind of the best avenue to go with that. I have one employee who's been with me over three years currently, so I'm just trying to figure out the best avenue. I'm part of a co-employer.

They're the people who do our payroll, workman's comp, and stuff like that. They're considered co-employers, so they have a group 401k plan as well okay uh that we could be a part of so i'm just trying to figure out maybe what what you would consider the best avenue for me to go towards that at the end of this year starting next year well the 401k if they're paying all the fees and stuff uh by the way this is structured um if it's not that doesn't have a lot of cost to you the employer then i would find out what your obligations are on matching and how much flexibility do you have setting the terms of the 401K, like how long somebody has to be with you before they can participate or whether or not you match

or whether or not you have loans on it. I believe I have full control in terms of, like, matching or setting how long they have to be an employee before they can get the benefit. Okay, good. And then set it up where they can't borrow on it. The loan part I don't know about. Yeah, set it up where they can't borrow on it as well. Yeah.

So, I mean, when I first started, I was at your size. The first time I put a plan in place, you had to be with me a year to participate. And I put in a simple IRA, which is a 401K for small business. But what you've got is probably better because the simple. Okay, the group plan. put in a simple IRA, which is a 401k for small business. But what you've got is probably better because the simple. Okay, the good plan. Yeah, the simple is a good plan. It requires, though, that you match 3%. And if you can choose whether or not to match, that gives you more flexibility.

If this plan allows you to set up how long they have to be with you before they join, and then whether or not you match and how much you match, then you get to choose all of that. I would probably use this plan with your company that you've got ties to. And you don't worry that I may have limited mutual fund choices? Well, if the mutual fund choices are lousy, then that would be another reason not to do it okay all of them have limited i mean 10 12 options is most what most of them have you know and that's what we've got here you know so you just you just pick out if you were gonna do a simple ira you just it's a 401k for small business you're required to match the first three percent and you get to set how long they have to be with you before they start.

But you have to match 3% on the simple, and you can choose any mutual funds. I mean, you could usually go with one company like American Funds or Fidelity or somebody like that, and a SmartVestor Pro can help you set that up if you want to set that up. But again, if you're if your company you probably have more flexibility with the other thing it's already preset in your payroll it's real easy to manage and easy to do it's not going to be a lot of work for you to get it set up as long as they have good mutual fund options and i really you know i don't feel good about having the option to borrow on a 401k because i think it's a disastrous idea and so we don't have that

option here for anything and um you're not required to offer that option by the way that's how this works this is the dave ramsey show Yeah. our scripture of the day proverbs 12 18 there is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Oliver Wendell Holmes said, Speak clearly if you speak at all. Carve every word before you let it fall. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee that means even if you mess up, if you goof up, if you screw up, you mismeasure,

you pick the wrong color, they will remake your blinds free. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY to get the best possible deal. Today's question is from Jameson in Virginia. We're making our last debt payment Friday with a bonus check I received. We have about $6,000 left over after the payoff. Should we use that to jumpstart our emergency fund or upgrade my car?

I currently drive a 1998 Volvo with almost 300,000 miles on it. Well, you definitely need a new car, Jameson. I don't argue that at all, but it's not an emergency. And you get your emergency fund in place before you do non-emergencies. I think the first thing I'm going to do after I get my emergency fund in place is save up for that car. But I want your emergency fund of three to six months of expenses in place, and then we're going to move up out of the hoopty and move on with our life. Rachel's with us in San Diego. Hi, Rachel. How are you?

Hey, I'm doing pretty good. Good. How can I help? How are you? Good. So my husband and I had a question. I'm at home full time with um my two kids um and i from home um i make about nine thousand a year um between watching my niece and nephew and then ubering on the weekends and then my husband takes home about $34,000 a year. We've been doing your financial

peace class. We're in our last couple weeks of the class. We got our emergency fund set up. The last debt that we have is our credit card debt. It's about $8,000 in credit cards. Go ahead. So, and we found a way to zero out our budget. Our highest thing is our car payment. I thought you said the last thing was your credit card debt. So you've got a car. How much do you owe on your car?

So it's a lease. So we pay about $431 a month. We're about 18 months into it. 18 months into how much? Out of how many months? Three years. Okay, so you're about halfway through. We're about halfway.

We are starting a savings to be able to buy the car afterwards. That car that I'm currently making payments on is also the car that I use to make money every weekend. Mm-hmm. Okay. We've been zeroing out the budget. We have our emergency fund. We've been saving. How can I help today?

My husband has asked, well, let's ask Dave Ramsey. We're wanting to expand our family with one more child. And he says, oh, we need to be 100% out of debt and, like, sitting perfectly before we have more kids. And I told him, well, you know, it's part of life. You know, we can just plan for it. I have all the cloth diapers because we cloth diaper. And I still have all the baby stuff or baby needs that we would need because i knew we were going to have more and i have uh clothes sizes and here's the

deal here's the deal dave ramsey does not make baby decisions yeah people make their own baby decisions with god i don't make those decisions and so you guys decide you guys decide you guys decide i i never tell people that they should be debt-free before they get married or before they have children. But you do have to use some common sense. Correct. Okay? And that means you're probably going to have to get rid of this car. This car is completely out of control.

A $431 payment in the middle of all this is nightmarish. And so, yeah, I can help you with stuff like that and um and you know yeah he's probably looking at some extra work himself because you do you do need to clean up this debt because raising three kids in san diego i don't care how many cloth diapers you got raising three kids in san diego on on fifty thousand dollars a year which is about what you guys are dealing with, is tough. That's tough. And you're sure not doing it with a dadgum car payment coming out your ears.

So, you know, it's not worth the Uber return. I would not finance a car to drive for Uber. And effectively, that's what you've done here. And I don't think with the numbers you're giving me, you're going to have the money to buy this car at the end of 18 months. And if you don't, then for sure we know you should have gotten rid of the car. So if you guys are willing to pick up a bunch of extra work and clean up these last two things, the car problem and the credit card debt problem, it's going to make it a whole lot easier to manage having a child. Oh, I totally agree. But, you know, but don't i don't make baby

decisions god and god and people make their own baby decisions uh but you do have to you know you gotta understand that this is hey going from one to two is double going from three two to three is 30 percent more i mean 33 percent more um and so you go from a one-on-one defense to a zone defense when you go from two to three. And it changes the dynamic. It changes a lot of stuff. But it's not untenable. People do it. But you live in an expensive city, expensive state, and you guys don't make a lot of money.

So we need to work on your income side of the equation, and you need to clean up the other stuff, regardless of when and how you have kids and so forth. That's part of the equation and you need to clean up the other stuff regardless of when and and you have how you have kids and so forth that's part of the equation but um no it's not it doesn't justify the car by the fact that you drive it on the weekends for uber to keep a car you can't afford it doesn't justify that at all beverly is with us in baltimore maryland hi beverly how are you hi how are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Very good. Question about loan forgiveness. I'm two years into a public service loan forgiveness for student loans. The 10-year one? Right. Oh, good lord lord i'm in my late 50s and looking to retire in about 10 to 12 years and so my question is how much student loan did i have you got 250 000 oh my lord right on what

what did you become a doctor no what'd you do not at all um program manager a what program manager what kind of programs do you manage for 250 000 oh not enough what kind of program this wasn't any it just wasn't it this, I guess it wasn't a good decision. So, I mean, what's your income? I'm 120. 120, all right. So my question is, do I just let this ride out for eight years and get the rest of it forgiven, or should I do the pay off the debt?

I would pay it off. Eight years is just too long. But I know it's a huge mountain but i i mean let's go ahead and get everest climbed and just knock it out as fast as you possibly can you're going to be living on beans and rice rice and beans because you you have made a uh as you said a large mess here and so anything you can do to get your income up and your out go down and just live on nothing. Let's say you did that and you put $60,000 a year towards this, which you ought to be able to do that. $70,000 a year.

You're done in three years. And that's where I want you to be. I don't want to put anybody in a jail cell for eight years. And that's what you're facing here. Because you basically got no life at all. I mean, this thing owns you. And I would just I would say this thing has to go and I've got to do whatever it takes that's legal and moral to get it done and clean it up as fast as I possibly can. Wow.

Ouch. Thanks for calling in. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We teach people really basic stuff because it is how you become wealthy. Number one, you get out of debt and stay out of debt. And don't go into debt. Your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income. Number two, you live on a written plan every month.

It's called a budget. You give every dollar a name before the month begins. That's why we named the world's best, most robust budgeting software EveryDollar. Number three, you save for emergencies and for your future and to change your family tree. Number four, you give like a maniac. Outrageous generosity. You do those things, you give like a maniac. Outrageous generosity. You do those things, you will become successful financially. And it's really the only way.

You can try some of the other stuff. I'm going to do Dave Ramsey late. It's not Dave Ramsey. It's God's and Grandma's ways of handling money. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made the Dave Ramsey Show one of the top five most downloaded podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration, subscribe today.