The Ramsey Show - App - All Relationships Are Either Growing or Dying (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW. My co-host on the show today, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, Christy Wright, joins me as we talk about your life and your money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225 it's free and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it 888-825-5225 christy tyler is going to start us off in kansas hey tyler what's up hi dave thank you for your time sure Sure. How can Christy and I help? I'm in a situation where I know I'm going to be laid off later this year, and we've been pretty smart with our money,
Starting point is 00:01:12 and I'm wondering if it's time for me to try something new and not worry about my salary. Like what? What are you suggesting? Just anything that I would think that would make me feel better because I've been in engineering for 20 years and I think I'm kind of burned out. And so my wife is pretty supportive because, you know, financially we've been smart again. And I'm just wondering if I should be able to take the risk and I want your input on it. Well, what are you risking? I mean,
Starting point is 00:01:40 what are you going to go do? I guess just something locally. I was thinking maybe even teaching at the schools or something. I'm not hearing something. Yeah, you said you're burned out and you're going to be laid off. So are you saying to just do something now, just switch gears now, or go ahead and plan for that whenever you get laid off? I guess there seems like some gaps, Tyler. Yeah yeah i guess i really don't want to do engineering and i was thinking if i was to go work for retail and even get minimum wage you just want to do something different yeah that's that's ridiculous okay that's ridiculous you're running from
Starting point is 00:02:20 something not to something and uh everything you're describing i'm hearing is just like roll over and surrender and let life roll over the top of you well no thanks i'm not going to participate in that plan no you need to come up with a new dream dude that's better than engineering not working a big box store for freaking minimum wage but would it matter if i've been doing this for a while and i guess i think i've reached the point where we're financially independent that i should throw my how old are you 43 okay so you're gonna do lame-o underpaid work for the next 25 years because you're financially independent i'm not doing that and i've been financially independent for 25 years I guess my wife tells me I should at least do something mentally stimulating and that benefits
Starting point is 00:03:09 society well here's the thing Tyler the whole premise of what you're asking is can I either make good money as an engineer and be miserable or make no money and be happy there's a different option here where you make good money and you're happy. Yeah. It doesn't have to be one or the other. And you do something that has meaning. And so what we need to do is step aside from the burnout and say, okay, that's going to be in the rearview mirror at whatever point you decide to make that step. But let's run to something that has some zeal to it and some passion to it and make some dadgum money. And you're a smart guy, Tyler. You're an engineer like you can
Starting point is 00:03:45 use those skills in a different way even if if you don't want to use it in the traditional way you've been using it for 20 years that that burns you out you can still use your skills and do something that makes good money and makes you happy yeah the the the thing is just because you've got a problem let's say you got 10 million dollars okay i'll just make up a number uh you don't have to work but it still doesn't mean you need to go work a brain dead job you know you need to go do something that's fun and that's stimulating and that your wife is right that that uh benefits society and you might go make more money than you've ever made in your life not because you need money but because you're finally
Starting point is 00:04:21 doing something you love and you got some passion for so i would jump into ken coleman's materials if i were you and start dreaming again it sounds like you're just your spirit is just low uh it's just like well i'm gonna have money i'm doing anything instead of like woohoo i get to do something you know so you need to that's what i would want for you uh so yeah you need to make a. I don't have any issue with that. And depending on how much money you got and how much money you're going to spend on the change, how you make the change would be up for grabs. But right now, I don't have anything I can sink my teeth into to help you with that part of it. So, yeah, get a hold of Ken Coleman.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Go to KenColeman.com and start thinking about, you know, what it is that makes you smile, dude. What it is that makes you happy. I know what it is that makes me smile. I love helping people. I'm a great teacher and communicator. And when I'm doing those things, I feel alive. And, you know, if I can do all those things and make money too, it's a touchdown. Yeah. And it's interesting too, because what I keep hearing, Dave, just like you said, he's running from this job that has burned him out or whatever. But what's interesting is if you work this retail job at $8 an hour, whatever it is, and you're used to making really good money,
Starting point is 00:05:28 and you're a really smart guy, and you're not challenged at all, you're not going to like that either. That's not going to be fun. You think it's fun because you've escaped the bad situation. You need to find something that's going to give you the dignity of your intellect and your experience with the paycheck as well, and you'll actually be proud of it and have fun. And it's not because you need money no no so being financially independent just allows you
Starting point is 00:05:49 to do some of those things but it doesn't it doesn't mean we have to dumb it down the purpose of uh becoming financially you know building a pile of cash to live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else and that's not living all right annette is with us in colorado hi annette how are you hi dave i love you so much we love you annette what's up kiddo um so i bought your book the total money makeover about a year and a half ago and i cannot explain to my husband anything. And I don't even know how to begin to talk to him anymore about it. Cause it is an ongoing fight.
Starting point is 00:06:31 We're in marriage counseling because, um, every time I try to tell him, no, you don't need to spend everything you make. He's like, well, I don't work this hard to not spend my money. And I'm like, yeah, but we're so far in debt. Stop. So just going to see if he had some advice to like, I don't work this hard to not spend my money? And I'm like, yeah, but we're so far in debt. Stop. So I was going to see if you had some advice to like, I don't know, knock some sense into it. I think you've been trying to knock sense into him. It didn't work.
Starting point is 00:06:54 So knocking sense into people usually doesn't work. So you're in marriage counseling for real? Yeah, we're, we're seriously in marriage counseling because the fighting over money has gotten to the point that like, we don point that we don't really speak sometimes. How many sessions of counseling have you gone to? Seven. And how's it going? Are you making progress?
Starting point is 00:07:17 Not particularly, but this is our eighth session coming up next Monday on our fourth round. But are you making progress? No, no. Why? It's still that ongoing battle. Because we're really not that far into debt. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I asked about your marriage counseling.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Are you making progress in your marriage? No, because all we do is fight about money and we so the counselor sucks or you guys aren't listening um eight sessions and there's no improvement no he's still because i tried to see his side of it and i'm like okay it's okay to take a little out to have fun. It doesn't have to be the whole paycheck. And he'll agree, and then we'll come home, we'll do a budget, and then he'll end up spending like $300 or $400 that I'm having to go, wait, wait, wait, no, where did it go? Okay, you don't have a money problem. You have a money problem. You have a marriage problem.
Starting point is 00:08:25 So stay in marriage counseling and learn to work together. And it's not about you acquiescing or him acquiescing. It's about learning to communicate and being agreeing on your values. And that's what you're going to have to lean into. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but I'm not a fan of traditional belts. They never fit right, and they're uncomfortable. Grip6 belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly modern minimalist belt made of high quality materials with no holes, no flap, and no bulk.
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Starting point is 00:10:21 Hi, Morgan. How are you? I am great, Dave. Thank you to you and Christy for taking my call today. It's an honor to speak with you. You too. How can we help? My question is about term life insurance and whether or not my wife and I need it at this point in our lives. We just completed FPU online. We're on baby step two. We're about halfway through our debt with $38,000 left, and we expect to be debt-free by the end of November. Our household income is about $170,000 before tax. We're currently renting.
Starting point is 00:10:53 We don't own our own home yet. But we're planning to buy a house in the next year, year and a half. We don't have any kids or any dependents. Currently, through my employer, I have a small amount of life insurance. I think it's one time my actual salary, one time my annual salary. My wife does not have any through her work or any other form of insurance.
Starting point is 00:11:15 How old are you? We are 32 and 30. Okay. We're just wondering if we need more life insurance, or if we need term life insurance more than what my employer provides. Yes, you do. At this point in our lives, or if we need term life insurance more than what my employer provides. Yes, you do. At this point in our lives, or if we need to wait.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah, you do. Because if something happened to you or something happened to her, your life is going to be materially changed by a lack of money. Right. And so we have to supply the money for that loss. And so it's not as acute. The need is not as acute as if you had three kids running around there. But if something happens to you, her life is a mess.
Starting point is 00:11:59 And at 32 years old, it didn't cost anything for you to buy half a million on you and half a million on her or 750,000 on you, 750,000 on her. It just doesn't cost anything. It's the cost of a pizza. And so, and, you know, the way I know this, and Christy, we've seen this so many times, is we get to talk to the spouse of the 30-year-old that wasn't going to die and did. And how they feel, you know just just run the picture out what happens if there's no insurance or just enough to bury you and you're gone and how what does that what's the situation financially the structure of your wife's life after you're gone if you get hit by a car tomorrow vice versa versa. Same thing if something happens to her.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And you go, well, I would just keep working. Yeah, you would, but you would have been knocked over on your head. And, you know, it just doesn't take a lot of money to make sure that everything's okay. If it was thousands and thousands of dollars, it would be different. But it's just a few dollars. Yeah, it's interesting how you always weigh out that cost because, especially when you're young, you can get it for relatively cheap. And I think people always think of life insurance as just a thing for kids. Even how he asked that, it was like, well, we don't have any kids.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I think a lot of people often think that, that I need it if I have kids, I don't if I don't. But like you said, it's going to change their lives, and you need to account for that. Well, the need is more obvious when there's kids. It's more cute. But, you know, would she be able to struggle through if something happened to you? Yeah. I mean, she's making good money. You're making good money for a total of $175,000, unless one of you is really killing it and the other one's not.
Starting point is 00:13:38 But, I mean, would she be able to make it if she's making $80,000, $90,000 a year? Sure, she'd be able to make it at 30 years old. But there's a gap there, and she might like to have some other options. And so I would put life insurance on you guys now and get used to carrying that until you have a large enough pile of investments to where you don't need any insurance because your investments would take care of you. You become self-insured by getting rid of all the debt, and that includes your home, and you become self-insured by the kids being raised and leave if there's kids involved, and you become self-insured by the pile of money. And so if you have no mortgage,
Starting point is 00:14:19 the kids are grown and gone, and there's a million dollars in mutual funds, you don't need insurance in most cases. You'd be fine. But if you're sitting where you guys are sitting you got no money and uh you know a little bit of insurance and a little bit of debt and a great income so it's not as devastating as it would be for other people probably but yes it's as inexpensive it is i would make sure i got life insurance in place check zanderinsurance.com and they'll help you get a quick, easy quote among a bazillion different companies where you can get the best possible price. Greg's in D.C. Hey, Greg, how are you?
Starting point is 00:14:54 I'm fine. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? So I have kind of a two-part question. First question, well, first thing is me and my wife, we're on baby step two. And she just, about eight months ago, she gave birth to our second child, and now she breastfed both our children for a year.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Now we're getting to the point where we're not having any more kids, and she kind of wants a mommy makeover. And I want her to feel comfortable, but I don't know how to fit that into what we're doing now. I'm sorry. He doesn't know what that is. I can tell you right now, Greg. It's an expensive procedure.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I would say that that – I'm going to let Dave take it, but I would say if you're on baby step two, then that would be treated like any other expense that you would want to probably push after you're debt free. But, Dave, you take it away. Well, I mean, you're talking about cosmetic surgery? Yeah. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah, cosmetic surgery is not an emergency. It's a desire. And it can be, in many cases, a reasonable desire. I would do that after baby step three, after you finish your emergency fund. Same thing, you know, it's, you know, these are, you don't, going on vacation is not a need, it's a want. Buying a new couch is not a need, it's a want. This is a want, and it's not required for life if this was a medical procedure required for your life then it would be an emergency and you'd stop everything you're
Starting point is 00:16:31 doing right now and you would do that but um but but uh and it may be a valid expense it may be something you all want to spend money on the two of you when you talk it through there's nothing wrong with that at all uh but but i would do that after you have your emergency fund in place and after you're out of debt, because it's going to make it very easy to save up and pay for the portion of the procedure that you have to pay for out of pocket. Yeah. And I don't know whether medical insurance will cover that or not.
Starting point is 00:17:04 It depends on your health plan, I guess. Yeah, it is too yeah but i mean like i had a call the other day from a guy who uh our lady i believe it was i don't remember uh someone and they had lost like 150 pounds and they were like the skin they wanted to have their skin you know put back yeah and i'm like yeah you went through all that you got gum right i would want to do that that's pretty cool i mean your dad gum hero lose 150 pounds amazing and so yeah i would want to do that but is it necessary to live no and so it's an item it's cosmetic surgery and yes i would but would i think the procedure was like deloney was only me i think it's like 20 000 bucks or something. And, but yeah, I would spend 20 grand on that.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Yeah. But it's a personal choice, but it's not an emergency. It's just in the same hierarchy of priorities. Like you would do anything with your expenses. That is a, like you said, not a necessary expense, but you just roll it into, okay, once for baby, step three. It's a reasonable goal. Save up for it.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Yeah. Is visiting, you know, Parisis france a reasonable goal absolutely yeah if that's what you want to do with your money and that's cool go do it yeah and uh highly recommend it yeah you know but but that you don't do that when you don't have an emergency fund yeah i would say the other thing too with greg's situation is a lot of times at least i experienced this dave when we as a family we're like okay we're our family is complete there's something so um that feels urgent of like i just want to get back to myself. I just want to feel like myself again. So I'll probably hear that in his wife of like, let's do it right now. Cause I just
Starting point is 00:18:31 want to feel like me again. And, and she, she has time. She's, you know what I mean? Like she, like you said, you can save and still have that procedure where she can have her confidence, feel like herself again, but it doesn't have to happen tomorrow. You know what I mean? It's, it's, she's, she's just had a baby,, just have a little bit of grace for herself in the process. Well, I mean, you spend a lot of time in that get back to you. I mean, that's the new devotional that we're missing, that you're building out. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Well, especially, too, when you're going through that season of having kids, of feeling like, you know, everything going on with your body. When you can do anything, whether it's go for a run or do yoga or just wear your old clothes, anything that makes you feel like yourself, you feel like, oh, yeah, there I am. You know, for years I've been having babies, taking care of babies. Like, I want to feel at least for a moment every now and then like myself. And so I think anything that helps you do that, you know, within reason is a good, healthy thing. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Absolutely. It's money well spent, but at the proper priority. Right. Right. That's good. Well done. Good. Good questions. Christy Wright, my co-host today here on The Dave Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today here on The Dave Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Casey is with us in Ohio. Hi, Casey, how are you?
Starting point is 00:20:17 I'm doing good. Thank you guys so much for taking my call. Sure. Yeah, how can we help? Yeah, me and my girlfriend are very new to your guys, uh, to you, Dave. Um, and we have been living together for years, uh, for a year and a half. Um, and I wish we wish we were turned on to you, uh, right there, but, um, we're trying to set up a budget to start, um saving. We're on baby step number two.
Starting point is 00:20:45 We both have $1,000 saved up for an emergency fund. We both have a little bit of debt that we're trying to work out. And we've been together five years, and budgeting has always been like a touchy subject between us. And I'm trying to figure out the best way to set up a budget and the best way to talk to her about budgeting will you marry me that would that would fix it that'd be the first step to fixing it if you want to talk to her i'm messing with you but uh we don't recommend that
Starting point is 00:21:22 you budget together with your roommate, only your wife, because there are legal implications and other implications, relational implications as well. And so as long as you're going to be roommates, you need to run separate finances. I mean, as if you had, you know, a guy roommate from college or something, right? And you still got to negotiate over whose mustard that is in the refrigerator and all that crap, right? But you need to run separate finances, and we split the rent, we split the cable bill or whatever, just like you would with a traditional roommate. mate but uh you know you you then begin asking because if you want to join in on your goals and you do that without the benefit of marriage you set yourself up for all kinds of problems
Starting point is 00:22:15 in the event that we don't get married because legally uh you own half of this car she owns half of this car uh you die now you own half Now she owns half of the car with your mother because she doesn't have any rights. You see what I'm saying? Okay. Yeah. So would you just do 50% and both go in half until we're married then? On household expenses? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Yes. And run separate budgets. So when are you getting married? I was going to ask it if you didn't. I was waiting for my chance to ask. What? The only thing that I'm struggling with is she's had some issues. Well, we both have had issues financially.
Starting point is 00:23:00 And she doesn't really want to share her financial history with me or basically where she's at financially. And it usually kind of gets us in an argument because she gets kind of ashamed about her credit card debt and where she's at. And that kind of prevents me from wanting to get married. So I'm trying to figure out the best way to. Five years? Yeah. Yeah, this isn't five months. This'm five years dude wait five years yeah yeah this isn't five months it's five years so yeah i listen you do whatever you want to do like you said you're new to us and when you call
Starting point is 00:23:33 in here we're not trying to be mean to you or snarky with you or something how old are you guys uh we're both 26 okay i have a 28 year son, and if he called me with this question, what I would tell him is that, as his dad, what I would tell him, and I love him, is that I would want to see this marriage or this relationship probably sit down with someone and do some pre-marriage counseling and start to see some of these areas heal to where we can move forward in the relationship because a five-year relationship that is stagnant is not a good that's not a good omen for either one of you having a positive outcome 10 years from now and
Starting point is 00:24:17 so i would want to see your relationship start to heal these areas of shame that she's dealing with she can start to open up and you got you can give her some grace in those areas to where you can see yourselves combining the mistakes of the past and the assets from the past and, um, for richer, for poorer in sickness and health. And I'm trying to talk you into getting married, but because I, because I, because that's what I would tell my own son. Yeah. And you know, this, this sort of kind of thing doesn't bode well for your careers, your health. It doesn't bode well for your relationship. Statistically, the data points. And it certainly doesn't bode well for your your wealth building. Yeah. There's a huge marital benefit to wealth building.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Yeah. I think it's interesting what he said about with his girlfriend and the like the shame or regret, because that that seems to be like the hold up. That's where we've got to work. And like you said, do the healing, counseling, whatever that looks like, because if they don't fix that, that lack of trust, the lack of connection there, you're never going to get married. You're never going to make progress. You're never going to share finances. We have to figure out what's going on that she doesn't feel comfortable enough to share that or what the wound is there. And once you get that, you may just realize, like, wow, that was the one thing holding us back. Now we can get married, combine finances, and reach our goals together. And having coached people with those same kinds of things inside of marriage over the years, I've watched a lot of people have some real good healing experiences in the relationship by just working on that and going, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:44 when I went broke going you know hey you know when i went broke you know my wife bless her heart she thought she married sir galahad turns out it was goober you know and so there's this crisis of confidence and it took a while for her to have trust yeah again when there's such and there is such shame and that's reasonable yeah there's such shame around money even when matt and i got engaged Matt had always been a saver, still is, and he had a good savings account, and I came in with debt. I was working on baby step two whenever he and I were dating. So you brought a negative net worth and he brought a positive net worth.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Yeah. But it's embarrassing, too, to have to reveal that. I remember the first time we sat down. And to accept it, that he's going to now, you're going to combine it, and what he's done positively is going to be damaged by what you've've done negatively thankfully i actually became debt free the week before he proposed he didn't know that the timing worked out that way so i was i was on baby step two when we were dating okay and then paid off my debt the final debt the very next week he proposed so i was able to go into engagement debt for what's interesting about that let's say you
Starting point is 00:26:41 hadn't right and you were going to bring debt in. Right. And he had positive savings. Right. Or it could be the other way around. Right. Lady, man, switch that out. But what's interesting is the one with savings doesn't worry about it. Yeah. But the one with the debt is all jammed up about it. Right, because you're embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:26:55 It's, like he said, shamed. Right. Right. And because shame, there's three negative emotions that drive people's money crazy. Shame and guilt. And so grace for yourself and for the other people in your life around that is a big deal. And that's not being codependent. That's not saying I'm going to continue to endorse your stupidity.
Starting point is 00:27:22 But because you had stupid somewhere in your past, you give people shame. You know, you give yourself grace and you give others grace in that. And then the other one's cynicism, which is where people have been messed over by money people. And they're, you know, they immediately think anybody talking about money is a shyster. You know, so Dave Ramsey is a snake oil salesman, all that BS, right? But the point is, is that there's a, you know, he's really on to something there, Casey is, with recognizing that in her. And that gives you an opportunity because all relationships are growing or they're dying. And so there's no just in the middle.
Starting point is 00:28:04 And so it's what I'm encouraging you here is to push on this in a, you know, it's like in a healing way. Yeah. you know it's like in a healing way yeah that causes take some steps that cause healing and that'll move you towards marriage or it'll move you away from this relationship one of the two right and one of the two needs to happen because it's just hanging out thing it's there it's not got positive implications for your future yeah and that's the reason the budgeting conversation hasn't gone well anyway so when he's tried to bring it up, it's been this kind of digging heels in because there's this this information, this hold up, this kind of barrier between them. So I agree. I think they fix that and it's going to open up a lot more clarity about the future. The thing is, Casey, what reason we're talking about this so at length is that, you know, your situation is like
Starting point is 00:28:41 everybody. Very common. That's right. Yeah, it's everybody. And so we got 17 million people listening to this discussion right now, and this applies to 15 million of them. You know what I mean? It's like somewhere in there people are having this discussion. It's the number one cause of divorce and disagreement is money and money fights because when you cannot agree on your dreams and your fears, you can't agree on hardly anything, and it's all reflected in your money. Christy Wright is my co-host today here on The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. We'll be right back. Chrissy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host this hour.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Open phones at 888-825-5225. If your insurance company has ever bumped up your car insurance for no freaking reason, doesn't that make you mad? It makes me mad. Other people are mildly annoyed, but I'm a hillbilly. I just get mad. Hey, listen, you don't have to sit there and take that stuff. As matter of fact even if they haven't bumped it up they're probably charging you too much so go to davramsey.com and hit our endorsed local provider site our elps and get this the
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Starting point is 00:30:57 Go to DaveRamsey.com slash ELP. It's part of getting your finances straightened up. It's not overpaying for insurance. Jasmine is with us in Canada. Hi, Jasmine. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Christy. It's great to talk to you. Thanks for doing my call. Sure. I am currently on baby step two for the second and final time. We are $27,500 in debt. We have three kids. It is one, four, and seven.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And this past year, like the beginning of this year, me and my husband finally are getting on the same page with how to pay off debt and just get after it and everything. Good. Yeah, it's great. And we had a conversation this morning about his business and I was like, Hey, well, we need to ask somebody this question. And he's like, why don't you call Dave Ramsey on it? Okay, let's do this. Um, he started his business six years ago. Um, and since then it's never made more than25,000 annually.
Starting point is 00:32:06 The costs are really high. He has been having our time charging, like, what his work is worth. So we've been, like, not really a lot of money to pay off debt. I've been on mat leave or having babies or working here and there when we can. But if I'm working, he can't. So I'm almost at the end of my mat leave, and we're kind of trying to figure out what our best option going forward is. Either he can work full-time, up his rates to what they should be,
Starting point is 00:32:43 and be trying for his hours. What's he do? He paints custom motorcycles okay and so if he were working for someone else he can make what um it it depends he doesn't have his full red seal so i think his starting wage would be about 25 an hour i don't know what a red seal is oh sorry um so like when you go to school there's kind of two levels there's your like your certificate which is what he has and then there's a red seal oh okay so that's like so it's a it's a painting uh automotive painting uh uh second degree the first one's a certification i got you okay and so he can make what working for someone else um i think it's about 25 dollars an hour
Starting point is 00:33:33 that's a whole heck of a lot more than making now yeah and and that's the thing like we because i'm coming to the end of my mat leave our other other option is if I go back to work, and we have to work kind of alternating, right, because the kids are still home. So he would work sometimes, and then I would work when I get contracted, and I make dependent on the job. Like I'm a hairstylist for film, so it's $25. Sometimes it's like $250 a um minus taxes so okay stop stop okay
Starting point is 00:34:09 you're all over the place so sorry that's okay you you needed you guys need to decide who's gonna do what but he either needs to get his rates up christy on his painting he's not charging enough um or he already needs to go make fifty thousand dollars a year instead of twenty five thousand dollars you're working for somebody else i mean what are you seeing yeah and and being someone that loves to help people with businesses and i help people raise their prices to be what's fair and that type of thing that's what i lean towards jasmine because i'm like that is such an easy fix if he's good and it sounds like he is to get paid a lot more in his business than even he
Starting point is 00:34:46 could make working for someone else because why is he charging half of what he should be i don't get it why um that is a very good question i'm i don't know fear lack of confidence yeah i think it's that kind of imposter like he doesn't think he's actually good at it when he has people seeking him out from everywhere. Well, the point is this. What he's doing now is like custom, high-quality work. If he goes to work for someone else making $25, he's going to be doing generic work. So if generic work is worth $50,000 a year and his custom work should be worth $75,000 a year. The type of customer that's coming to him
Starting point is 00:35:25 has the income for a custom paint job. It should be a higher price type of service. And the other thing, Jasmine, if you're talking about the kit, the childcare, where yours are contract based and you're having to do this trade-off, this is a logistical deal within your household. It seems like the business is more conducive to that because you're going to be happy. Someone else is going to tell you what your hours are if he goes and works for a company making less money. Now, if he just can't or won't raise his prices, we don't want you to stay in the situation where you're not making enough money. Six years and not having any growth is ridiculous. But if he can get over that, if he can fix that, then you can make more money and have more flexibility.
Starting point is 00:36:03 That is the better option, and maybe that's enough for him to do it i don't know yeah i would recommend he triples his prices because if i'm gonna pay somebody to do a generic job and and that is 50 or five thousand dollars and i'm gonna pay someone to do a custom job and that's 7500 that doesn't blow my brains out you know it's interesting too dave He will get a different customer. You're getting a certain customer at this price point. It's a pain in the butt. You're getting the wrong customers. I had a business boutique member.
Starting point is 00:36:34 She had a photography business. She was way undercharging. I gave her this whole pep talk. She heard my money talk at business boutique conference. Left that conference and didn't double her. She doubled her price because it was so low doubled her her price of her services tripled her revenue because she actually got more customers at the higher price point than she was getting at the lower price point i think that's the big fear of
Starting point is 00:36:56 people is if i raise my prices i'll lose my customer you'll lose some and you'll get others that are willing to pay that higher price point and we get the right one yeah yeah he he um yeah he he is um it's kind of a classic artist thing though it's a confidence thing isn't he's an artist i mean he's a custom and you know a lot of times people that are uh they're not as mercenary they feel greedy if they ask for more. Yeah. If they're an artist. It's vulnerable. It's your work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:26 It's your talent. And you're afraid somebody's going to tell you you're not worth that. And people tell me that all the time, but more of them tell me I'm worth it. So it's okay. I wouldn't pay $20 for a book that says get out of debt. That's okay. 20 million people did. So it's okay.
Starting point is 00:37:39 I worked out for me. Worked out for me. You're just, you know, great. Don't do that. I understand. You can get the library i don't mind it's not making me mad so uh but you know it's it's that kind of thing you face that rejection and and so yeah he needs to have a the two of you need to sit on the back porch with the
Starting point is 00:37:56 kids asleep cup of coffee and have a discussion about what he wants to be but this is so interesting dave because you and i've been talking about confidence a lot, how it is the precursor to so many different qualities, so many different results that you can have in your life. And we're talking about a situation where a family, she would go back to work, he would work for a company, he would make less money, have less flexibility, all because this confidence holdup. Isn't that interesting? If you could fix that, if you could fix it at the confidence level, it would have an actual dollar amount effect in their life and their freedom
Starting point is 00:38:30 and their schedule and their flexibility and her ability to work. It's just so interesting how many things that affects. Yeah. It really does. So he's making $25,000 now. He could make $25 an hour, which is $50,000 working for somebody else. Or he can make $75,000 and own his own business. business yeah but that means he's
Starting point is 00:38:46 tripling his prices yeah and or his volume and so you know you get you have to sit down and say am i willing to do that if not if you're not willing to do the steps to get there it's not gonna happen overnight but if you're not willing to do that then close the business and take a job. Yeah. Because $25,000 a year for six years and no improvement in the business means, and you're not willing to do what it takes to fix that, then you need to close it. Right. Yeah. I agree with you. Good.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Christy Wright hanging out with me today here on The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free screen live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.

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