The Ramsey Show - App - Am I Able To Retire? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where we help people win in their life, specifically with their money, their relationships, and their work. 888-825-5225 is the phone number.

You can jump in. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney joins me this hour. 888-825-5225. Let's get right to it. Mobile, Alabama is where Anthony awaits. Anthony, how can we help? Hey, Ken and John.

How are you all today? We're having a blast. What's going on with you? I'm sitting at the apex of the seat, and I do not know which way to go. I love that analogy. I'm right here about six months away from being 62, and I cannot decide to retire or work another year or two. Okay, so let's just start with where are you leaning right now? We're not holding you to this, but if you had to decide today or five minutes ago, did it change?

Where are you leaning? Leaning towards retirement. All right. And so what is making you question that to the point that you would call us to get our take? I've been doing it since 14 and scared to death. Scared to death to stop? Yeah, exactly. I hear it.

How are you doing financially? Paint that picture for us. It's about 1.3, 1.4 cash. Total assets, about 1.6. Just don't want to go home and twiddle my thumbs, which I wouldn't do that anyway. I'm a very energetic guy.

I'll go in person. So let's stay right there. You can only travel so much. Now, hold on So let's stay right there. You can only travel so much. Now, hold on. Let's stay right there. So let's remove travel, okay? Uh-huh. I think you've allowed your mind to wander a good bit and maybe wander, too. So we're not twiddling our thumbs.

Twiddling your thumbs is not even an option for you. You just said it. So what's something that you would be intrigued by doing or learning? What would that look like? Something that kept you active. We're not talking about traveling. But what would that look like? What comes to mind when I throw that at you?

Because I know there's something in there. I've always been interested in working on airplanes and helicopters. I'm a mechanic by trade. That has always intrigued me as far as how helicopters and all work. So I haven't even thought about it that way. All right. And I'm ideating here. Like, none of this do I want to hang on you as, well, this is what you're going to do.

But it's fascinating to me that you've been a mechanic for a long time. How long have you been a mechanic? Oh, I've been at this one job for 34 years. 34 years! And you know you're still fascinated by fixing something else or tinkering on something else, and it's that new challenge, the way your brain works. Let me throw an idea out at you, all right? I want John to jump in, however he wants to jump in, but here's what I think. I think that the fear of the unknown is probably the greatest fear that humans face. That's just my take, okay? Doesn't mean I'm right. And I think that what you're really afraid of is, what does

life look like? Because I have been largely in a very controlled, conditioned schedule for 34 years, and on the other side of that is all of these unknowns. Most of them, I think, should be wonderful unknowns for you. And what's freaking you out is you haven't dug into some of these possibilities enough to go, oh, not only is this not scary, it's scintillating. And I think tinkering, fixing planes, helicopters, all of that's great. But let me throw an idea out for you what if two or three days a week your schedule you start fixing cars for single moms or you get involved with a church program that maybe has a car donation program or you just start finding people in your world you start putting the word out you say you know what i'm pretty good with mechanics and i'm willing to come and i'm going

to do this and maybe you just gave yourself away doing different things, but now it wasn't for a paycheck and it was just because you wanted to do it. It was because you wanted to see a smile. You wanted to see a sigh of relief on the other side of it. How does that hit you? It's funny you say that because I'm already doing that somewhat, but that would free me up to do it a whole lot more. How much joy do you get when you do it?

Oh, 100%. That's just one thing. John, what do you think? You say you want to change your neighborhood, man. It'd be cool if you started a little program for young men to come over and learn how brakes worked and learn how, that's a great, I don't know, what a transmission was. And man, what a cool thing that would do on Sunday afternoons at your local church, just to teach young boys how to change their own oil and things like that. That could be amazing. amazing hey there might be a mechanical trade school locally where they need somebody they need instructors yet we could go all day yeah hey let me ask you this uh anthony um

1.2 million in cash 1.6 total tells me you got 400 000 is that invested or is that in your house uh my house is not that much uh house probably a hundred and a quarter but a collapse of all the mobiles and just uh cash money in the safe for emergency okay i want you to please please please go sit down the smart investor pro and you've got way too much cash and with the way inflation is your cash cash is becoming less and less valuable every day it sits under your bed. I do hold a lot of cash personally, and so I'm not against it, but you're holding over a million dollars worth of it, right?

And I'm looking out for 81-year-old Anthony, whose hands aren't going to let him get under a car, you know, turn wrenches or his knees aren't going to let him get under a car anymore you know, turn wrenches, or his knees aren't going to let him get under a car anymore. I want to make sure that guy is taken care of. Well, I sure hope I make it to that 81A. You will. My family tree is usually around the 75 to 78 range. But listen, you've bucked every trend your family's ever had, haven't you?

I sure have so far. That's exactly right. Well, let's keep it going then. Let's live a live a long life and man you got 20 years left to hang around and by the way you're not gonna die at 81 i'm giving it 93 that's my guess but hey i think you can um here's here's here's the big the the truth the data on retirement the america has sold us a bill of goods that the goal is to do nothing. The goal is to get to the end of your day. The goal is to get the end of your job, the end of your career, so that you can have the privilege of doing nothing. And the fantasy of doing nothing is a lie. It will kill you. All the data says if you retire with nothing, your body falls apart.

It doesn't have a purpose. It's got nothing to pull, and it just quits because its job is done. So before you, quote, unquote, retire, go ahead and set up a schedule for yourself. Go ahead and get a group of men that you're going to have coffee with once a morning. Go ahead and get one day a week at a local community college to help out. Get that schedule somewhat built. You can always back off of it, but go to a thing. Don't aim to do nothing. No. You know, I think the word retire should be retired. Well done, Ken. Yeah, I know. I worked really hard on that the last two minutes while you were talking. It's called conception. That was conception. That was a conception, as James says.

Here's what I think. Anthony, I really want you to look at this next season not as retiring, and John just set that up beautifully, but reinventing. Reinvent yourself because you can. I like that. Because you can, right? And so, hey, I was this for 34 years, and now for the next six weeks I'm going to be this, and then the next six weeks I'm going to be this,

and the next six weeks I'm going to be this, or if I want to go the next six months or the next six years. I think the reinvention really is the way to do this and to age well. Can we look at the Anthony diagnostic code real quick? Really fast. You've always been successful. You're a great teammate. You're a millionaire.

What does that mean? You have built the tools. You're a person who succeeds. And so in the next season, you're going to get nervous. You're still going to What does that mean? You have built the tools. You're a person who succeeds. And so in the next season, you're going to get nervous. You're still going to do great, man. We're rooting for you, brother. Way to go, Anthony. You're a stud.

Go help people like you already are and watch opportunities present themselves for you to continue to reinvent yourself. You're doing great work, man. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you,

try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs.

They'll also help meet spiritual needs. Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all. There's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget.

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney is joining me this hour. Phone number is 888-825-5225. Let's go to San Bernardino, one of my favorite places to say. It's up there with Walla Walla, Washington. And what was the other place? Sheboygan?

No, it's not Piccadillo. What's the place? I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, we got into some trouble on that one. We did. That was fun. Serena joins us in San Bernardino. Serena, how can we help? Hi, thank you guys so much for taking my call. You bet. What's going on? So, okay. So I found your guys' radio show or your podcast like two weeks ago and my boyfriend and I have been listening to you guys religiously. And basically my question is, so I own a house that I have a very low mortgage on and I'm getting ready to rent it out. I'm going to make about $2,300 a month on that rental. How much do you

have left on that mortgage? $200,000. Okay. And you're going to make how much? I'll make $2,300 a month on it. Okay. Keep going. Sorry. Okay. My boyfriend owns a house. His mortgage is significantly higher. He just bought it a year ago. It's on a very large property. He rents the back property out to his sister, but now we're talking about moving in together. And he has a friend who's willing to rent his house out but by the end of it we would basically be breaking even on that house um i make about 120 000 a year he makes about 80 so i think we could have both houses paid off in 10 years i just want to make sure that it's a good idea for us to keep both of those houses, rent them out as long as we're making money on one and breaking even on the other, if we can get it paid off in a short

amount of time. Well, you've got a lot of stuff going on here. The we thing, like how long you guys been dating? Is this going to be a long-term play? When are we getting married? What's the status here? Yeah, so we are eventually going to get married we've been dating for a little bit over a year um we he has like three thousand worth of debt that will be paid off in two weeks and then i owe twelve thousand on my car um that i should have paid off in the next three months um our plan is to eventually get married but it's an eventual thing exactly so here's my thing. If that's down the road, then this conversation shouldn't be framed the way you're framing it.

It's your house, his house, and it's not a we decision. That's my take on this because I think it's very separate right now. And here's the thing. There's the, you know, we talk about being married when you're buying houses, and people think we're talking religious stuff which that's a component but the big thing is is man you're you're entering into you and him are holding hands and walking into quicksand you've got a a giant home that he wants to rent a part of it he's renting to his sister and to a brother and then to you and then you've got a home that you're, but y'all are gonna both try to pay it off.

We only have jobs. And this is the hardest part of my job, but it's being honest with you. We only have jobs because people have plans and the plans don't work out. People break up. And so if you get divorced, there is a clear legal process for splitting things up.

If you break up, it all goes to crap it's a mess and so that's why i would tell you you have a house that you can choose to do with what you want to with it and it's your house if i'm you i would stay in my house and pay it off yep and be completely you make 120 grand you have a000 mortgage, you can be out of this thing in a couple of years and be done. He has chosen to dramatically overcomplicate his life by buying a huge property, having part of the mortgage relying on a sister, and then plus this, and then his buddy, and what a mess. It's going to be a zoo, and it's a year in, right?

He's not relying on his sister. He's owned this house for a long time, and she's going to be a zoo and it's a year in right he's not he's not relying on his sister he's owned this house for a long time and she just happened to buy a trailer and is renting out the back part of the yard at this point i thought you said he just got a year ago yeah so he bought it a year ago she just moved in two months ago into his backyard so it's not anything that he needs it's just you're missing the point the point is if you want to live with him that's one thing but do you want to be a landlord on your current house I mean are you really up for being a landlord you know because um to me you're looking at I'm rounding down you're looking at $25,000 a year you're making off that house, as opposed to just living in it.

I agree with John. I think you need to take care of your business, and he takes care of his business on the house until there's a we. We don't act and talk like a we. I want you to understand you're going to be the live-in girlfriend on a property shared between a boy and his sister. I'm's just i'm telling you right now i've just done this too long it's gonna get there's gonna come a moment when he's gonna have to choose and you're like oh he would choose me it's just gonna get messy and i know we're ruining your day completely totally ruining

your day because this is even why you called you want to know which one of these houses you want us to sell and we're telling you neither of them but it's it's it's we just do this so much and we see it happen all the time where everyone's got great plans everybody's on the same page and then one thing goes sideways yeah and um if you don't have the legal protection it gets messy yeah just because we love you but i'd get that car off ASAP. I'm glad you're working on that. And by the way, I would not pay one penny of his debt. None. Not his credit card debt. And don't let him pay for your debt. Fair?

Right. And by the way, Serena, I love your idea. Listen, John and I love your idea of paying your house off in a year. Genius. Genius. Now all of a sudden, it's great. And listen, it's none of our business who you live with. We're not trying

to get into that. What we're saying is that this isn't a we conversation. You've got to stop with that, right? If you want to sell this house and move in with this guy, that's... Yeah, knock your lights out. Yeah, go for it. But you'll have sold your house, take the equity, you'll have an account.

You'll be debt-free and it's your money. Right. Everything needs to continue to be separate until there is a we. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. John and Ken at fundruiner.com.net. How are you feeling about this? So, honestly, I feel like there's a lot going on in my head.

I mean, I understand exactly what you guys are saying, like keeping everything separate, and we've had that conversation. My thing is we want to rent a separate house and move in together and then keep these both as rentals and then eventually have a large rental portfolio. Gotcha. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do it.

Dave Ramsey went belly up doing that. You're leveraging debt. And if you remember, you're in California when just two years ago, they prohibited people from evicting people who didn't pay their rent. But the mortgages were still due. And so if you get a house and you've got a mortgage on it, and he's got a house, you've got a mortgage on it, and you'll rent another house together,

and you're playing a shell game that will collapse on you i promise have you done this before have you rented your house before no i have not okay can i okay now now i'm really gonna ruin your day okay so uh at 2300 a month okay that is what about 28 000 ish quick math is what you make. You said you'd clear that much per month on the rent, right? Correct. Okay. So let's call it $28,000-ish. All right. I have been a homeowner for a long time and I care about my house. I can tell you about renters. They don't care about your house. They may be the most nice, decent people in the world, but you're not going to see anywhere near $28,000 of profit. This I can take to the bank. So I need you to understand that. And John would tell you the same thing. You're not going to see anywhere near 28 grand or

2,300 a month, just bing, bing, bing, adding up in your account. You're going to have to take care of that house. You're the owner of the house. You're the landlord. You've got to deal with everything. The roof, the air conditioner, the carpet. When they flush too many things down the toilet, the plumber. That's why we don't want you to rent a house that you don't own and go rent some other house. It's just bad finances. Forget the relationship piece. Do you get it?

Right. I do. We're on team Serena. I wanted to sell, and everybody keeps talking me into keeping it. Everybody's broke, Serena. Yeah. Here's the most baller play. Have no mortgage at all.

Boom. Nobody owns Serena. Serena can do whatever the crap she wants. She can move wherever she wants because she has a paid-off house. That is actual financial security. Having four rental properties that the mortgage is being paid by the tenant. It's all a shell game. It's nonsense. And by the way,

this is not a moral statement, but I'm going to go this direction. As your older brother, we're on Team Serena here. Don't live with this dude. Y'all be in a relationship. Don't live with him. Make him commit to you. Okay. That's just my take. And it's not a moral imperative, but that's just relationship. And don't move into a place

where the sister is too. Yeah, there you go. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back, America. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. We're so excited to have you. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney is sitting next to me here. 888-825-5225 is the phone number. That's 888-825-5225. Boise, Idaho is where we go now. Sarah's there. Sarah, how can we help?

Hi. Yeah. So I'm 18 years old. I graduated high school about a year ago, and I am just really hesitant to start college or even trying to even think about going to college. I have no idea even if I should or what I even should do. I'm just really confused. Well, first of all, great news is you're 18, okay? Yeah. And so being 18 is confusing, and it's been confusing for 18-year-olds for every decade for a very, very long time because you are still developing, you're still maturing. And there's this big daunting thing navigate the future, it gets even more intimidating. And then you just shut down and all your creativity kind of goes away. Does that sound about right?

Yeah, you got a spot on there, yeah. All right. So I've been helping people figure this out for years and years and years. And I think what we have to do is simplify, okay? So let's take on the first part of the question. We don't even consider college until we figure out direction. And I think direction is more important than destination. Destination can change, but if I'm heading in the right direction in my life, okay, financially, relationally, spiritually, professionally, if I'm headed in the right direction destination can

change and i'm and i'm not losing track so i think i want to forget about destination and we start to go what about direction so college right now is not even on the table because unless the degree is the only way to go the direction you want to go um or it's the best way then we know there's another way does that make sense to you yeah all right so let's put that over here on the side okay so 18 you've been out of college for a year i mean out of high school for a year okay yeah i want to know i don't care if it goes back to nine-year-old sarah 12-year-old sarah 14, whatever. I don't care. I want to know the things that you have allowed yourself when you felt safe, maybe in your room, driving a car, whatever, sitting in an assembly at high school or a boring class,

and you wondered about what would it be like to do this when I grow up? What are the things that maybe were pretty consistent or maybe the things that you got most excited about when you allowed yourself to do that? Well, all throughout high school, I kind of had a plan for myself to try to get into medical school. But recently, I've just, I don't know, I got cold feet a while ago. I work in a medical office now, and I kind of realized, I kind of hesitated thinking if I don't think I could do that for the rest of my life with patience um I've also like I had a moment of really loving astronomy I've always you know I've always loved you know learning about all that um but also one

of the biggest things was wanting to maybe try to teach English out in foreign nations, like maybe somewhere in Europe or maybe even somewhere on the East Asian countries. I've always had an interest in that. Okay. So Sarah, I see a pattern here and I want you to tell me if I'm not seeing this correctly. In those three different options, I see two very clear people-focused ideas and then I see two very clear people-focused ideas, and then I see some learning. I think you're a learner. I think you like knowledge and what knowledge does for people. Is that fair? Yeah.

Okay. And I also think you really like people work, like taking care of people or doing something with people. I think that's the theme I see in the medical side of things or teaching a language. I think you're a people-focused person. Is that true? Yeah, I can see that, yeah. Okay. So real quick, I don't want to get you stuck in the weeds, but I think you could take the entire world of work,

every job in the world, and I think you can organize them into four buckets. People work, ideal work, process work, and object work. What I mean by object is you're working with your hands and your head, but you're fixing something, building something. Does that make sense? Okay. So John and I are in people work and idea work, right? Our work kind of is in both buckets.

Ideas in the form of content, John's books, his things that he creates to help people. So John and I are both people and ideas. That's where you would put us. So I think you're in the people side of things, but I think there may be a little bit of process there in that education piece. Now, I just want to know, how does that hit you? Or is there another bucket that you go up identify with i'm good at people stuff and i'm good at process stuff and there's there's always a connection with those four does that make sense yeah all right what are you feeling um i feel like that is just kind of what i've always thought about doing i mean um yeah i mean yeah so's the deal. So here's what I want you to

do. Let's now, let's go. Okay. We know that medical work, or at least the type of medical work you're seeing in this office is not for you. You got up close and I love that, but I want you to step back and go, how are, what are all the different ways that I could take care of people? You see, cause if you're in the healthcare world, you're caring for people, but there's a lot of ways to care for people. Teaching them a language is a form of caring for people. So I got a three-part exercise that I'm not going to make you answer on the air. And I want to bring John in too, because I know he's got some great thoughts here. He's worked with college students for a long, long time. I want you to answer three questions in the near future. I want you to answer three questions in the near future.

I want you to look at it almost every day. And I like a pencil because it allows me to be creative and I can erase and answer every day differently. Three questions. Can you write them down? Yeah, yeah. All right, here we go. First one is, who are the people that I most want to help?

Get specific. Say, students in Peru one day, the next day, say people that are aging and I want to help them in convalescent homes or whatever. I don't care. Every day, if the answer changes, let it go and write it down. No wrong answer. Who are the people I most want to help? Now, the second question is, after I answer the first one, those people, describe them, then I want you to answer, what problem or desire do those people have? And you write it down. No wrong answer. Third question, what are the solutions to those people's problem or desire that I most get excited about.

You got it? Okay. Yeah. Now here's what's going on. This is a construct, John, for ideation. And I think that this is what we don't teach kids. This is as dumb of a plan as I've ever heard in my life. But it works.

Right. And the reason what it does is allows me to ideate from my heart what moves my heart and then i match it up with that last question is where's my talent yeah what am i good at and what am i good at that can actually be a part of the solution or what can i go get training on to become good at get better that's right i have some raw talent that with training education and experience becomes a skill that's right so sarah i want you to take everything he said and i want you to lay it on top of this foundation here okay okay when i was 18 years old i went to college to be a youth minister that lasted about three weeks evidently you got to read the bible all the time so i'm out

right i then was went into uh become a journalism major I did that for about a year, and then I realized how much journalists made, and so then I went over to be business. Then in business, you've got to take math classes because you have to balance balance sheets, and I was lost at sea. And then I went and saw a movie in the theater called Good Will Hunting. And I went that next Monday and changed my major because I wanted to be Robin Williams. I wanted to be a counselor at a small college behind closed doors.

Then they said, hey, we're out of majors. You've taken too many classes all over the campus. We can get you enough psychology classes so you can go to graduate school and you have to have a humanities degree. My degree is in humanities. It ended up being a great

degree. History, writing, psychology. Then I went to grad school for psychology, right? No, for education. And I got a master's in education, a PhD in education. And then I went and got another PhD in counseling. And you know what I do now? I'm a YouTuber. I have a podcast.

Podcasting and YouTube did not exist when I was 18. All that to say is this. There is no wrong step for you moving forward. Follow the plan Ken mapped out for you and then hold it all really loosely. That's right. Every step you take is going to be a step either like, oh, I'm not going to step there again, or I like this. All that is data moving you forward.

It's a great story. It's back to what I said. Be graceful. Direction is more important than destination. Yes. What we can see, if there was a theme, though, for all those things, it was people. I like to help people. And that's the key.

Great call. Thank you, Sarah. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney is sitting alongside 888-825-5225 is the number, 888-825-5225. Time for our scripture and quote of the day. We start with Hebrews 10, 23 and 24. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful and let us consider how

we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds our quote of the day from nick saban a little moment of silence for all alabama fans all right that's enough he's retired not dead but uh bobby the engineer is in the control room and that was for you, sir. It's going to be okay. I promise. You'll still win some football games. It's not going to be okay. Listen to this guy, the Texas Tech guy taking his shot. I get it. All right, Nick Saban's quote, Mediocre people do not like high achievers,

and high achievers do not like mediocre people. Wow. That's as true a quote as quotes could be true i think that's true i think there's an asterisk i think some mediocre people like working for high achievers because they create a lot of paychecks i yeah well they don't like the uh he's right completely you're right they like they like the halo they like what they get from the high achiever. But when it comes down to it,

high achievers make mediocre people feel uncomfortable. Yeah. I think that's good. Because they have high standards. I love it. Boy, that's not 2024 woke approved. That statement. That's a little too harsh, Nick.

But hey, he can say whatever he wants. So you know why? He's not on social media. And if he was, he doesn't care what you think anyway. And he wins. He does win a lot. Ashley is going to win. I just feel it, John.

She's in Jacksonville, Florida. She is on the show now. What's up? Oh, I like that. Ashley, how can we help? Hi, Ken. Hi, Dr. John. Thanks so much for taking my call.

What up? It's an honor to speak with you both. Thank you. What's going on? So I'm in the advanced stages of interviewing for basically my dream job. Wow. That's usually not what people say on the back end of the phrase, I'm in the advanced stages of. I didn't expect that either. Now, don't just fly by that. Are you comfortable telling us what this dream job is? I'm not allowed to share the company,

but it's a graphic design position. Um, I would be working on a lot of really cool projects and things that I've really been interested in for a long time. Ashley, that's freaking awesome. Can we just say way to go? Okay. So you're almost there. We haven't landed it yet, but you're on your way. What's up?

Yeah. So I'm obviously really excited about that. But the only thing I'm nervous about is if I were to get the offer, I would clearly have to tell my current employer that I'm leaving, and I don't really know how to do that. I work for a really, really small family-run company, so it feels really personal when people leave, and I don't want to come off as sneaky or dishonest in any way.

So I want some good advice on how to bring up leaving or giving a two-week notice in that situation. So we've come to the end of the road. Walk in the office with that plane, and if you can get a 90s-era boombox on your shoulder, it will lighten the room for sure. People will say anything. Yeah.

I don't know what John's going to say. What I think is the most simple advice on this. I think you have to put yourself in almost a role play scenario, and I want you to be your boss, and I want you to think about how you would want Ashley to tell you some really exciting news for Ashley. Pretty exciting. And I want you to think about how would you want you to tell the boss? I mean, that's the idea. It's like, if you're the boss, how would you want you to say it? And what comes to mind? Just free flow would how would you want to be told this information you know probably like i've really enjoyed my time here i've had a great experience

and you guys have really made me feel comfortable and loved here um but i feel like it's time for me to grow and i found another opportunity that will possibly help me in that direction well let me say this i put myself in your boss's shoes while you were talking and if you said that to me i would be sad but i would not be mad now i'm healthy so you may not get that reaction john but i think that was pretty darn good so here's my two critiques of that oh I've got two critiques you ready for this Ashley? Take it easy. Break your heart here. We'll take them I want feedback um anytime I'm using the word but giving somebody hard news it always gives them an opportunity to hang on to something heavy during a very um scary moment a sad moment a

heartbreaking moment an emotional moment so i really loved what you did for me here but i need to grow which in some ways is an indictment of them it's not but they can take it as that they can hang on to it i've loved everything you've taught me, but I think I can get more over here. Think about it this way and flipping it around and saying, I have a really tough conversation I need to have with you. And you sit down and look at them and say, for the rest of my life, I'm going to be grateful for the opportunity you gave me. I've recently selected another position at another company. It's an amazing opportunity for me.

And so here's my two-week notice. As I leave here, I want you to know I love you guys. And forever, if I can do something to support you, I'm here for you. Okay. And then there's a period. And listen, you need to know this on the front end. There's no words you can use to make this a little bit less hard. It's just going to be uncomfortable.

Yeah. Because you love them, they love you, and you're moving on. It's just hard. Yeah. They may or may not. I really like that breakdown. That's next level analysis. She was off the cuff.

She was. Actually, I want to build you up and say that it's about the spirit. It is. It's not about the words. And let me just say, and i mentioned it a moment ago uh there's no guarantee that you handling it the way that you're going to handle it love that and very important is going to get the desired result that you want which is them to go oh my gosh ashley we're so excited for you we're going to be sad but oh my gosh right like yeah

that's what we want and so i'm leading to something here i cannot tell you how many times ashley on the ken coleman show i've had somebody call in and say this very thing, and they're going, I'm dealing with guilt. And so I want to go ahead and get preemptive on this. You do everything the right way. John gave you great advice. I think that was fabulous. You do it that way. That's all you can control is how you do it. But let me tell you something. You cannot allow yourself to feel guilt about leaving people who have given you a great opportunity because you are leaving to another great opportunity and one does not cancel out the other. In other words, you taking another great opportunity doesn't crap on people who gave

you the first opportunity. That's really important. Guilt is something that I feel if I've done something wrong, something illegal, something unethical, whatever. And so it's natural because good people feel that way. And I think, John, I'm bringing you back in here because I think we are so worried about what people are going to say about us and think about us. I am chief center here. So I'm speaking from a guy who is a people pleaser off the charts. Bottom line is, this is a great opportunity. Handle yourself well and move on. I want you to speak to that. I think most of us have such, contrary to what the media would tell us, I think most people have really rich hearts. I think so. And they don't want to be the cause of somebody else's tears. That's good. And so I will end up squashing myself. I'll squash opportunities. I'll squash

hard conversations because I don't want to cause you pain. And what we have to realize is that's kind of egotistical. That's not our job. Yeah. It's not my job. They're going to be okay without you. Right. And by the way, over the last few years, you've brought them a lot too. I know you're good at what you do. Otherwise, you wouldn't be being hired at this rad new company. And so it's been business and it's been relational. And you know from past experience how they're probably going to respond. Lose their mind, talk crap about you, hug you, cry, say,

how dare you get out of here. You kind of know what's coming. And so the more you can keep that with an open hand and know, I treated them with dignity. I gave them, I gave them notice. I was honest. I didn't say,

yeah, but I mean, if you had given, or, Oh, I always, always had this Ken always have a number. What's the number when they go,

what if we doubled your salary? What if we triple it? Like, because you find yourself in a situation. I think that's great advice. Just know. No, my time is done here. Thank you very much in a situation like, I think that's great advice. Just know, no, my time is done here. Thank you very much with a period. And I think, Ashley, you're taking this new gig

for the ladder, not the money. The money's going to come. But you're excited about the work, yeah? Yes, of course. Way to go, Ashley. I'm proud of you, Ashley. It's amazing. You're an absolute rock star. Really proud of you, Ashley. Thank you for the call. Dr. John, always good to be in the scrubs with you here. The metaphorical scrubs. Not that kind of doctor. I know. Just call. Dr. John, always good to be in the scrubs with you here.

The metaphorical scrubs. Not that kind of doctor. I know, just making bad jokes. But we both are wearing scrubs. James Childs, our fearless leader, and all the guys in the booth to keep us on the air. And you, America. Thank you.