The Ramsey Show - App - An Expectation You Don't Communicate Is Called a Thought (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 16, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Chris Hogan, and joining me co-hosting this hour is Miss Christy Wright. So we are excited. This show will have high energy. Christy brings energy wherever she goes. If she is awake, things are moving. How are you?

I'm good. This is fun. This is fun. I love when I get to host with you because, speaking of energy, we have a good energy. This will be fun. We do. And speaking of, we just got through really pouring into business leaders from all across the country.

Yeah. And I have to tell you, you did a fantastic job in your talk. Tell people what you were talking about and give them a couple nuggets. Yeah, okay. So let me just tell you the title of my talk because I really like the title because it's sassy. Uh-oh. So, get a life, how to not lose yourself in the business you love. Get a life.

And then, you know, if you're a business owner, you immediately, that hits a nerve and you go, yeah, I know what she's talking about because it's really easy to do. You love this business. It's your baby. You pour your heart and soul into it. But man, it can become so consuming that especially in a time like this right now where you're exhausted trying to drum up business or you're exhausted trying to keep up with business. And it can be really hard to have a life outside of that. So I just tried to give them some practical tips to encourage them to get a life. Yes. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy the ride. Thank you.

Yours was too, Hogan. I had a chance to talk to people about taking leadership to the next level and really pushing because right now, let's be honest, things are tough. Yeah. Things, the norm has gone. Yeah. And what we have to do is regroup and recoup and recommit to what's important to us and what we're willing to do to get there.

So it was a fantastic event and hats off to our entire live event team and everyone, staff included, that helped make that possible. So great job to all of you. All right, listen, everyone. We are going to be taking calls as usual, but also social media questions. And so what I want you to do is hunt down Christy on social media. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram at Christy B. Wright. Just go ahead and slap that in your phone right now.

At Christy B. Wright. You can find me at Chris Hogan 360. And we're going to take some questions. So, Christy, if you're ready, we already got a couple in. Let's do it. And I want to hit you with one that I hope you're awake. I'm ready. Are you ready?

Okay, because this one gets real right out I hope you're awake. I'm ready. Are you ready? Okay, because this one gets real right out of the gate. Okay. Here it is. This is from Kayla from the Ramsey Baby Step community. She asks, any suggestions for dealing with in-laws, especially disagreements over watching and spending time with your children? Yeah. Okay, let's talk about it.

Here's what's interesting. And I think that the in-law relationship can be particularly difficult because you've got different expectations, different cultures, different ways of being raised. Maybe you're from different geographic regions. So even just kind of the family norms

where you were brought up is different. I think it comes down to one thing. You actually talk about this a lot, Hogan. Expectations. It comes down to expectations. Now, I would say that for Matt and I, for our little family of five, we've got three kids, I feel a very specific direct responsibility for the people in my household. I do not feel a direct responsibility for the

people outside of my household in terms of I have to run myself ragged for every Aunt Linda's expectations. So Matt and I decide what is right for us as a family in terms of how much we see our extended family, what we're going to do for holidays, what's right for us. And then we communicate those to the people that are involved. Now, you can communicate it in a way that's loving, but firm. And I think what's difficult is when people don't take the time to have the awkward, sometimes awkward conversation of here are my expectations for my family and what's right for us. What are your expectations?

And can we find a common ground? They're so unwilling to have the conversation that it actually builds up and leads to resentment. It leads to hurt feelings. It leads to people feeling ignored or not valued. And really, if you would just have the conversation, it can cut so much of that out. What is your quote that's so good? You say, an expectation you don't communicate is called a thought. It's so good.

I've quoted you. I've quoted you. So I think it comes down to communicating that, for me, has relieved so much of the stress. No, I agree. And here's the deal. We say around here to be unclear is unkind, right? Now, here's the other danger of this if you don't communicate these

expectations between you and your spouse now what you could have is tension right especially if it's his family right or you know what i mean the other family right and so don't leave it to chance talk about it right you know well and you know what i've noticed this is an interesting dynamic i've actually done some research on the dynamic between mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law. And it's the most difficult family relationship in any connection, regardless of personality style, because you've got two women that have – they typically make the decisions about holidays, about traditions, about time with the kids. And sometimes they can disagree. But what's interesting is they have the relationship. Typically, it doesn't go through the spouse like in my case matt

the conversation is between me and his mother so so that's where the resolve needs to happen um matt i need to be on the same page but matt's not going to have the conversation for me i'm a big girl i can have the conversation with the we're two grown adults and so i think just like you said be on the same page with your spouse but the conversation can still happen between the parties that are actually doing the planning. Well, that's important. And so you don't let Matt do any of the planning? What are you doing?

What's the problem here? Here's the thing. When I get a text like, hey, we're wanting to do X, Y, Z, I'll ask Matt, hey, what are you thinking? Right. I always ask him first. It's his family. I'm going to ask you first. It's your family.

And then we come up with a decision, and I'm usually the one that communicates it. Just because, let's be honest, a lot of times women are the ones that make the plans. They're the talkers. We love to talk. We love to text, talk, get together. So we can be the planners. But it helps. It really helps.

But it does help. But getting on the same page is so vital, so important, and talking it out. And, you know, especially right now in this COVID time, right, where, A, you may or may not be seeing family as much. And so you're really going to have to be very intentional on when you, right, where a, you may or may not be seeing family as much. And so you're really going to have to be very intentional on when you go visit, how long, where you stay. But the more you talk these things out, the better you can feel comfortable in the plan. Yes.

And I would say that the hard conversation, the awkward conversation pays off because if you have two people that are healthy, loving people, and they lean into the awkwardness and they're willing to have the conversations about what their expectations are if you have two people that are healthy loving people and they lean into the awkwardness and they're willing to have the conversations about what their expectations are you have more intimacy more connection better relationships better communication and everybody's on the same page i would say that at this point matt and i've been married eight years my relationship with my in-laws is better than it has ever been but it's been due to laying that groundwork and having some conversations where we had to come together. Yes.

And it's hard. But man, my friends, some of them don't have it and they have the conflict. I'm so grateful we have that conversation. It pays off. And you don't need to have it. All you have to do is communicate, talk about it, and you got to flex the muscle. But I like what you said, laying the foundation in the past. What it does is now it kind of creates this open communication moving forward.

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CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Hello, everyone. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan, and co-hosting this hour with me is Christy Wright. We are so excited to take your calls to talk about your life and your money. Here's the deal. You need to call us at 1-888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225.

Call us. Zach is ready to phone screen and talk to you to find out what's on your mind. And Christy and I are ready to give you some guidance, some advice, something to help you push forward and move forward. So we're excited. Answer your questions. We're ready. We're ready.

So, all right, Christy, let's get to the phone. We've got Gina calling in. How are you? Hi, Chris and Christy. I'm so happy to get to talk to you both. Well, thank you. We're excited to talk to you. What's on your mind today?

Yeah, so I live in Estonia. And Estonia is right by the sea. So I live in the capital and the Baltic Sea is right here. And I have this dream to buy an apartment. So I listen to your show a lot and people talk about buying houses a lot, but here it's more apartments that people buy. So I have this dream to buy an apartment

and I have 110,000 euros in cash and I could buy an apartment for that. That would be an okay apartment. There are also incredible apartments with incredible cv and they just get you excited um and they're more like 300 000 euros okay so that would mean i would need a 200 000 euro mortgage and that's quite big considering the Estonian average salary and my salary. So my yearly salary is $25,000 and that's pretty high even in Estonia. Okay.

Yeah, so I'm just wondering, should I go for the really exciting thing because, you know, value might go up and that's a long-term investment or should I be like, yeah, I'm just very curious because you seem to be people of wisdom, so I want to hear what you think. We seem to be. We seem to be. Well, Gina, I appreciate you, and I'm going to try to seem to give you some guidance here.

There we go. So tell me again, you've got 110,000 euros saved up, and you can buy a regular apartment for how much? Definitely. saved up and you can buy a regular apartment for how much um definitely well i can't even buy an apartment for 90 000 um it's so that would be okay to live in it wouldn't have a sea view i would love a sea view okay um now how far away is the sea from your apartment this this 90,000 one? That would be maybe 10 minutes. Okay, because the C is big, right? Yeah. Yeah, and I like the idea of you buying an apartment

and having some money also and not using everything you've got. And so you're making $25,000 a year. How did you get $110,000 saved up? What did you do? Yeah, I joined a startup really early, and we built it up to Unicorn. And so that was some share options money that I got to cash in. Okay, very good. I'm going to tell you, Chris, I'll let you chime in.

I like the idea of spending one for 80 to 90. And yeah, you might be five, 10 minutes away from the view. But the mindset of you getting in there, having some money, not spending every dime that you have and having that money, that reserve left over, you continuing to work and be mindful and maybe you upgrade the apartment in three to five years. Yeah. You know what I heard in her voice? It's can I have the apartment that I can pay for in cash or can I have the Seaview, which sounds so

exciting as if it has to be one or the other. I think it's both, Gina. I think now, just like Hogan said, now I would advise you to pay for this apartment in cash because you're going to be able to save so much money when you're not paying interest on a mortgage. You're going to be able to save up and then upgrade in a few years. Just set a financial goal to say, I'm going to upgrade to a better apartment. That's 200,000 in X amount of years and then upgrade from there. And eventually you've got that perfect sea view and you own it outright. But man, it will slow down your progress so much if you're paying all that interest on

your mortgage. And so right now you could be completely debt-free, own this outright, and man, everything extra you save up still working towards that goal. That dream is not gone. You're just going to delay it a little bit. I totally agree. Yeah, I like that. And Gina, here's the idea. Instead of standing in your apartment looking at the sea, when you're debt-free, you can go get in that bad boy. Go down there and hang out and look at it. But that's the way to go. And thank you for calling in. We appreciate that. You know what's so interesting? I want to campaign for one second, Hogan, because I think even though she's in another country and we're talking about a different currency, people here in the United States, we deal with the same temptation.

So someone that would call in that has the ability to pay for a house in cash, pay for an apartment, condo, whatever, in cash, the temptation is always to get more than your means. The temptation is always to upgrade your lifestyle before you have the means to pay for it because, well, if I can pay for this, what can I get for this? The freedom to be able to pay for something outright, that's an unbelievable position to be in that you could pay for an apartment or house, even here in the United States, in cash. So avoid that temptation to take out extra debt.

You can just reverse the whole process, save up and still upgrade later. But man, a lot of people aren't in that position. Take advantage of it to be debt free and own it out. No, I completely agree with you. And you know, home purchases are not small. These are big items. And so we tell people, listen, if you've got to get a mortgage, 15-year fix, max is what you want. But then you're still, as I found in our national study of millionaires, people are paying off their homes on average in seven or eight years. But you're right.

It is a matter of looking and you being content with where you are. Quit worrying about what other people are doing, right? You don't know how much debt they're taking on, but be content in your plan and be aware of where you are. Yeah, it's so tempting, too. I've seen this with people when they get raises or promotions or bonuses it's like oh i've got a bonus let's go buy a car it's like how about you just let that bonus sit how about you just put it in the so often we want to upgrade our lifestyle when we get a raise or you could just let that be amazing margin where it's between you and life and you've got that many more options because when you

buy stuff you don't have options you just got stuff you got money you got options no you're right and a lot of times if you start to upgrade lifestyle too fast what you're doing is downgrading your future because you're preventing you from being able to have more of the freedom and more of the flexibility that you want that's right uh gina thank you so much for calling in this is uh that's a really really big question all right. We're going to line one. We got Arias on from Louisville. Arias, how are you? Hey, I'm doing all right.

What's up, Chris? Hey, buddy. What's on your mind, man? So during the coronavirus, I'm currently a network engineer. I got laid off right before the coronavirus. So when I went job hunting, I got blessed with a network engineering position at 23 years old. Wow.

I make about $60K a year. I'm also a NOC analyst for another company, and that's, I think, $43 a year. Okay. I make about $100K after tax, and then my girlfriend, she makes about $40K. Together, we make about $140,000 a year. We got about $100,000 in debt and I want to buy a house. So I got a person

that wants to sell my house for a pretty good deal. And I'm like, I got some debt. So what are your thoughts on buying a house? Also, I'm a family man, so I want my family to rent that house, and I'd be the owner. And then

me and my girlfriend go buy a house with the lien against that house. I hear you. How old are you again? I'm 23. Alright, but listen to me. I like the way you think. I like that you are long range thinking. I like that you are planning. But my friend, you're skipping range thinking. I like that you are planning, but, but, but my

friend, you're skipping some steps. You're in a hurry. Yeah. You're rushing and you're making good money. Uh, and I'm a, I'm a, I'm a let Christie chime in that I'm a let loose. Yeah. Go ahead. There's something very powerful about focusing on one thing at a time. I know we want to do all the things right now, put a little bit of debt, a little bit of this investment property, a little bit on your, no, no, no. You're diluting your efforts and slowing down your progress. So what, that's the reason we have the baby steps in the order that we do. We want you to point all your guns at one thing at a time because it's going to give you momentum. It's going to give you confidence. And then when you're ready financially,

you're able to buy that house, whatever house that is at that time. This is not the only good house you're going to be offered. This is not the only good deal. We have this scarcity mindset, like I'm going to jump on it. No, no, no, no. You're 23. You make great money. Get yourself out of debt. Set you and your girlfriend up for success long term so you don't have those payments

hanging over you. And then, man, you can make some cool decisions about your home, investments, whatever you want to do, but tackle one thing at a time. Go. That's exactly right. Now, Chrissy, pump the brakes here. First and foremost, what we're going to do is we're not counting girlfriend because that's just a friend right now. You need to put a ring on the finger, get serious, get married.

Then you can start to say we. Right now, you ain't speaking French, buddy. All right, this is an individual situation. You're going to get yourself out of debt. You're going to get intentional, and you're going to stay focused because you're not finished. I love your energy. I love your focus. But slow down, young man. slow down, be clear on what it is you want, but be certain of what you don't want. This is the Dave Ramsey show. Most people's money problems come from not paying attention.

That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something, I do the research and I make sure it's going to live up to what it claims. Recently, I got a great pair of sunglasses from a company called Shady Rays. When you're looking for sunglasses, it feels like your options are limited. Name brand sunglasses cost too much, and the cheap knockoffs are ugly, and they don't really protect your eyes. Discovering Shady Rays is a game changer. With Shady Rays, you can count on premium sunglasses that protect your eyes,

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Well, you are intense, but people tell me I am too. So we get along just fine. We sure do. But I'm going to tell you this. A lot of people right now, they talk about wanting some confidence, feeling concerned about what's going on, lack of being in control. There's a lot of fear. A lot of fear. But you've got something going on called a five-day confidence boost. Yeah.

What is this? It's just something fun to help people kickstart building more confidence in themselves, but also in their faith, in the God that created them. And what's cool about this, Hogan, and I'm sure you get this a lot, I think people think of confidence as this personality style. Like it's a gene you're born with. Some people have it. Some people don't.

I'm like, no, confidence is a skill and skills can be learned like cooking or riding a bike. And so this five-day confidence boost is really just a very simple way that I can show up in their email inbox, give them some practical things they can do to help them build confidence, to combat the fear, and go after their goals. All right. What do they need to do to sign up? Go to christieright.com. That's it? That's it.

Okay. Give us your email. All right. Give us the email. We'll send it to you. Get some information. You'll get an opportunity to get the five days of confidence boost, which is a good thing.

I'll have to check that out. All right, you all. If you're out there and you've got a question, I want you to call us. The number to call is 888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225. Or find us on social at Ramsey Show or Christy at Christy B. Wright or me at Chris Hogan 360. All right, we've got a call. We've got Jackson on the phone.

Jackson, how are you? I'm good. How are you guys doing? We're doing pretty good, buddy. How can we help you? I'm good. How are you guys doing? We're doing pretty good, buddy. How can we help you? So the situation I'm kind of dealing with is I'm looking to get engaged to my girlfriend of four years. I don't know. It's the next year, year and a half or so.

Okay. And I still have about $27,000 worth of student loan debt. I'm trying to decide if I should just throw the kitchen sink at that and get it paid off and then save for engagement and the things that come with marriage later, or should I do kind of both at the same time or what? Oh, okay. This $27,000, is it all student loan debt, Jackson?

Yeah, it's only student loan debt. I don't have any other kind of debt other than that. Good job, buddy. What's your household income right now? So I make about $75,000 a year. And my girlfriend makes about $31,000. But we're not married yet, so I don't know that that's necessary. Right. No, I agree. I agree. So you have been dating her for around four years. Does she have the expectation that a ring is supposed to be showing up soon? I mean, not like tomorrow, but we've definitely discussed it. Oh, Jackson, hold on a minute.

Wait a minute, brother. Now, see, this is why I ask questions. What do you mean you all have discussed it? Well, we mutually agree that we want to get married like we're not just dating for divorce or to break up okay good good in this talk did she give you an idea of a time frame no sir no she did uh yeah she did actually if you're talking about it how long ago did you have this discussion uh you know, I can't put a finger on it. Was it in 2019?

Was it in 2020? Probably 2020. Okay. All right. Recently. I'm going to defer to the young lady in the studio with me. What do you think, Christy? Well, it was what we were just talking about with expectations, communicating expectations.

That's right. So here's one of the things I want to commend you, Jackson. First of all, you're thinking long-term. Second of all, you are considering her. Third of all, you're trying to do the right thing financially and by your girlfriend. I don't know how long it would take you to pay that off. How long do you think?

Have you done the math of how long it would take you to pay it off? Have you got serious? Yeah, I think I could pay it off in less than a year no problem okay okay so you know i mean because you can pay it off quickly that's that's pretty quick in a year you could go either way on this one but um one and i've heard dave answer this on the on the radio show here before hogan of um you know if this is gonna be a long journey you can get married you can do a small wedding you can do a is going to be a long journey, you can get married. You can do a small wedding. You can do a small ring. You can upgrade the ring later.

You can get smart, you know, in how you pay for the wedding. It doesn't have to be this big extravagant thing. But, you know, and one of the cool things too, Jackson, and this is just a random idea I'm throwing out, Hogan, you can talk to her and say, hey, here's my situation. I want to set us up for success financially, and I want to marry you. What do you think? Y'all are not married yet, but it doesn't mean she can't speak into that decision because the ring is going on her finger and the debt is coming into her household. You could even have a conversation to see her thoughts on it.

No, you really could. And Jackson, I would probably do that. You guys have been open, and you've been communicating with each other. I would be up front. Hey, Jackson, let me ask you this. How many months' salary are you thinking about in paying for an engagement ring? Well, you hear, you know, the typical three-month salary. Yeah, I know. So I was thinking somewhere between two and three, roughly. Okay. Now, see, I ask this because I've seen these articles too, Jackson, that say like three

months. Listen, this is not a law, Okay. That's not a law. And she's going to wear it forever. I just want to speak up on her behalf. I just want to speak up on her behalf. Now, Jackson, I want you to hear me. This is crucial. This is important. I want you to get an idea of the timing. You guys talk about that. You find out the style, but do not take her shopping for her ring. Do not.

She'll think it's tomorrow. Because in the little jewelry stores, they have all types of diamonds. They have some the size of me. They have some the size of human size. Don't be in there having her with you as you're making this decision. You agree or disagree with me? I do. I do.

That's good. Yeah, you're holding back. Find out the style. No, find out the style. You're very true. Find out the style. But I think it seriously goes back to what we said a little bit ago. Communicate expectations. If you have a conversation of the time frame, it's going to avoid her having her hopes up for every fancy dinner. Every time you ask her to go do something really nice at a nice restaurant, she's waiting for you to get down on one knee and she's disappointed let's just talk about it in the open here's our here's our plan here's our plan with our finances here's our plan with engagement and then then you can still surprise her in that time frame see that's a good point yeah that is it can still be a surprise but

you do want to gain understanding yeah and but yes do not take her shopping you know you know what happened with matt and i so you know i'm an enneagram Enneagram 8. So, like, once I know, I know. I'm like, well, let's just do the thing. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, let's get engaged. You're the one. Here we go. I knew about two months into dating.

It took him another year. So, every fancy date, every nice restaurant, I was like, well, where is it? Where is it? And he's like, I need a minute. So, I just think being on the same page with expectations. You asked him where it was. No, not literally. In my mind. In my mind.

In my mind. Which means I know you. I've been around you for about 10 years. You get your hopes up. Your hopes. Oh, that's scary. All right. Jackson, talk to your soon-to-be fiance.

Get on the same page. But buddy, yeah, definitely attack the debt. As Christy said, be smart about the type of wedding you do. You don't have to put love on hold just to attack debt. But what you don't want to do is add debt to the situation. And I'm being honest. And I'm proud of you and the focus you have as a young man. And I wish you all well working together.

But talk about this stuff and be able to iron it out and get on the same page. Okay. I got another social question, Christy. Let's have it. This one is, and this came in same page. Okay, I got another social question, Christy. Let's have it. This one is, and this came in for you. Okay. This is from Amanda from the Ramsey Baby Steps community. She goes, she asks, how do you balance family well-being and financial goals?

How do you balance the two? Okay, so this is interesting because it's actually similar to what Jackson was just talking about. So when people are in Baby step two, for example, they ask, you know, should I do this or this? How much, how much, how intense should I get? Now I've seen people, and even here in this building that get so gazelle intense and baby step two, they don't have a phone. They don't have cable. They don't have a life. And that is their decision from their value perspective of that extreme into the spectrum that I'm going to

be that intense, that many sacrifices to get out of debt quicker. Now, when I paid off my debt, Hogan, I had a TV. I had a cell phone. I gave up vacations. I gave up clothes. There's things I gave up, but I didn't get so intense that I didn't even have any cable. So I think what it is is it's really being on the same page with your family of deciding what are your values, what are you willing to sacrifice for that goal? Because she says financial goals we're talking about running towards this thing

that's right so matt and i may value different things uh when it comes to spending money and we do but we need to both speak into the budget just like we say and make sure that we're on the same page with sacrifices because when you've got that nerd that like wants to have you know the extreme but someone else is like hey i still want to be able to have a cell phone. You just need to communicate and get on the same page to figure out where you fall on the spectrum of intensity to reach that goal. I completely agree.

And hey, no, you definitely did not go bare minimum because I want you to tell everyone the name of the two goats you had on your farm. Tell them the name real quick. Willie and Waylon, but they were fainting goats. Willie and Waylon, that's all you need to know. That's unbelievable. Tune in, people.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello, everyone. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan, and co-hosting with me this hour is Christy Wright. We are taking your calls about your life and your money, and we'd love to be able to hear from you. The number to call is 888-825- 5225. Again, that's 888-825- 5225. Find us on social media. You can find Christy at

ChristyBWright. You can find me at ChrisHogan360 or the Ramsey Show at RamseyShow. Alright, we're going to get to the line. We've got Kelly on the phone. Kelly, how are you? Hello, I'm good. Thank you.

Well, yes. How can Christy and I help you today? Thank you all for your teaching and inspiration. I have, I'm on baby step to start the program in October. Done well so far. Trying to stay focused on paying off debt. I have two small loans left to the tune of about $5,000 between the two. The next big one to tackle is the one I'm calling about. It is a family loan originated about six and a half years ago.

It was from my husband's uncle, who has since passed away and has now been turned over to the aunt, basically. So the original amount was for $25,000, and he put it at a 6% interest rate. So I should be able to pay off the two smaller debts that I'm working on now in the next few months. But what I want to do is instead of leaving that big loan to finish out for the 10-year installment plan, I want to pay it off much earlier. So I'm trying to think of a reasonable amount to save up and to kind of stockpile and then go to the ant and say, hey, here's X amount of dollars. Can we just be done with this loan, you know, without me carrying it over and all that? I've tried to look at a few amortization calculators,

and I think from looking at it, and I'm not 100% correct, but I think I've paid close to around $20,000 just with the interest, but I think there's still probably a good $11,000 on it left because I'm only six and a half years into it. So I don't want to insult her because I am grateful for the loan, but at the same time, 6% is a lot of interest. Hey, let me ask you this. What was the original $25,000 used for? So we've made a lot of bad decisions with money, obviously. And we wanted to buy a house and basically to clear up a lot of our consumer debt

to get our debt-to-income ratio down. The bank suggested if we could get a personal loan kind of off the books to clear up some of the mess we had made, then we could qualify for this house. Okay. And so you all have been paying on this at 6%. And so am I hearing you correctly that you want to then now go offer like a settlement? Yes.

I've been paying $284 a month, which as far as I can tell was slightly over the 6%, but that's my fault for not looking into that a long time ago. Right. Right. So these six and a half years have been kind of just auto-paying $284,000, and I think there's a good $10,000 left on it. But just with all I've paid in interest, I think it comes up to close to almost the full amount. So I'm wondering, you know, stockpiling money each month

and just kind of coming up with a number to go to her and to say, can we be done? Well, I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with you going to have the conversation. But did you all sign like paperwork for this loan or was this a handshake thing? It was somewhere in between. We did sign a little installment agreement, but he said that there was no problem with us paying off the loan early. Okay.

Well, I think, you know, I would say as you're dealing with the aunt, there's nothing wrong with you going to have a conversation, but I want you to hear me. There's nothing that obligates the aunt to stop anything or accept anything. And I think that's really important, Christy, to keep in mind. So when you go have the conversation, you go with the right spirit and not go in trying to demand. For sure. For sure.

You definitely need the right spirit, the right posture of humility. But here's the biggest thing that I think you need in your corner, Kelly. I think you need to know your numbers. Like, I think you have got to do the math to see exactly what was agreed upon, exactly what you've paid, exactly how much of that is interest, how much you have left to pay, how much of that is interest.

And I would come in and say, I'm just making these numbers up, Kelly. I owe 10,000 more over the course of four years and that includes the interest. But if I just paid you just the principal, just the loan amount, I would actually owe you 6,000. So could we agree on $7,000 to give me a little bit of time to save this up, still paying interest in the interim,

and then pay you the amount that would just be remaining in the loan amount only? But you can't even have that conversation that you can both agree on if you don't know your actual numbers. You've got to figure those numbers out. And Hogan and I don't know what those are. Right. But I think you're absolutely right. And Hogan and I don't know what those are. Right. But I think you're absolutely right. And going in and having that open and honest conversation, and then just keep in mind, there's nothing that obligates her to have to do that. And so I just want you to be willing to have that conversation be up front and see where

it goes from there. But I agree with Christy. Knowing the numbers are going to be crucial so you can be able to show. You're not estimating. You're not guessing. Sit down. Really look at it. Run the numbers are going to be crucial so you can be able to show. You're not estimating. You're not guessing. Sit down. Really look at it. Run the numbers on what it is you've paid so you can show her because she may not know.

And it may not be on the same page. Well, in worst case scenario, you run the numbers and you find out, okay, if I'm able to save up $5,000 by this date on the calendar, that would pay it off because interest is not relevant after that point because I've hit that date. Then it doesn't even matter if she agrees or not because there's no prepayment penalty according to the way this was set up. So you can go in with the five grand. Worst case scenario, you know what you need to pay it off. You can stockpile that amount, walk in and pay it off. Totally agree. Thank you so much for the call. All right, next up, we've got Alex on the line. Alex, how are you? Good. How are you, Chris and Christy?

Oh, we're doing good, my friend. What's on your mind? I just had a quick question about life insurance for children. My wife and I, we don't have any kids yet, and I know Dave's and your guys' thoughts are on full-life policy, so I'm not even talking about that. But my wife brought up a fairly good point. She was wanting to have life insurance in our kids that we have in the future because of a possibility of them having, like, you know, like a heart condition or something like that in the future that would probably prevent them

from getting life insurance in their 20s, I guess. It's a little hypothetical, but I just was kind of curious what your guys' thoughts were on that. Okay, so you all are looking at this as more of a preventative thing or trying to get it on them, right? Yep, yep. Okay, yeah. Here's the reality. Life insurance is meant to be able to replace income.

So you and your spouse having life insurance is important. If something happens to one of you, there's a dollar amount that's coming in to be able to take care of the kids. Some people have looked at you can add a rider to your term policy in the name of your kids. That's something you could take a look at doing by talking to one of the insurance ELPs. But as far as just outright getting a policy in their name, no. They're not making any income. They're not doing anything that would, A, financially contribute to your lifestyle. So you can talk with an insurance ELP about getting a rider, but a full-blown policy in their name as a child, no.

You can see in those Gerber Life things, that's whole life insurance, which has an identity crisis. It's trying to be an insurance program. It's trying to be a savings account and an investment. And what it is is overpriced. And so it's not something to look into at all. The rider may be the way to go for you guys. But other than that, get term on you and your wife. Make sure you've got 10 to 12 times your annual income. That's the way to go. Yeah. It's hard too, because when you're trying to forecast for the future, you don't know what's going to happen. But I think if you have a lot of fear, you can start to think, oh, I've got to cover all these bases, do all these things for what might possibly happen. We see this in business, Hogan.

People ask me, should I incorporate, should I file as an LLC? And I'm like, are you a high liability business? Do you have a high net worth? No, no, no. You know, I just have a Etsy shop or whatever. And a lot of times that fear can drive us to make costly decisions that are wrong. But I love how you look at it from a practical standpoint. You don't need to do that. No, you don't. Don't let fear rule you.

Get the right information. Alright, listen, I want to thank producer James Child, associate producer Zach Bennett, and thank all of you all for tuning in and thank you all for calling in. And I gotta thank my co-host this hour, Christy Wright. This was fun. Thanks so much. It was fun. Thank you all. This has been The Dave Ramsey Show.

This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey Network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows. Ask Dave money questions like, how do I invest my money? Or what is the debt snowball? Find out more at DaveRamsey.com slash smart speaker.