The Ramsey Show - App - Are You Ready To Pay Up? This Shouldn't Surprise You... (Hour 1)

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

George Kamel & John Delony answer your questions and discuss:  "How do I budget on an irregular income?",  from the blog: How to Budget With an Irregular Income What to expect with student loans payments starting back in October,  from the website: Borrowed Future: How Student Loans Are Killing The American Dream "I have $60k in debt and don't know how to tackle this as a single mom",  from the blog: Budgeting Tips for Single Moms How to feel less emotionally drained when starting on the Baby Steps,  What to do when you've prepared for big life change and still feel anxious. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Here's an EveryDollar deal just for our listeners: get a 14-day free trial PLUS $15 off your first year of premium. Click the link below and start budgeting today! www.everydollar.com/george Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined by one of the best friends a guy could ask for, Dr. John Deloney, and we're here to take your calls to help you take the right next step, whether that's with your money, your work, your relationships, your mental health. We want to see you be well in all areas, and John is an expert at that for sure. Hey, man, when it comes to being great friends,

I think I've called you asking for your advice 100% more than the times you've called me. Well, to be fair, your questions to me are money questions. If I'm asking you a question, it is like an hour of therapy. That's probably true. So it's a different situation. That's fair. That's fair.

But I'm going to play that card. You got a new baby coming, so the phone lines are open at the Deloney house. All the parenting advice from Dr. John. He's figured it out. going to play that card. You got a new baby coming. So I will be asking you for all the parenting advice from Dr. John. He's figured it out. Just go ahead and send it to johndeloney.com slash ask and we'll see if it gets through Jenna. And they won't let me through. That's true. Just call myself. They've screened my emails and calls. So the number to call 888-825-5225. If you want some advice, you want some confirmation, affirmation, we're here for you. Sal joins us up first in Los Angeles. Sal, welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you for taking my call. How are you guys doing? Doing great. How can we help? Okay. My question, I've been listening to you guys for a while and I haven't quite heard an answer on, I'm in debt and I am trying to get out of debt. I'm going through the baby steps. I'm on step two. And my biggest problem is budgeting. And my question is, how do I... I need budgeting tips for someone who doesn't make a set regular income. I am a bartender.

My income fluctuates from night to night. I have, I don't know. I just don't know how to set aside money when I don't know exactly what's coming in. Cool. How much debt do you have? I am sitting at about $13,000 right now with about $10,000, a little more than that, in student loans. Okay. And tell me about this bartending gig. Have you been doing this for a while? What did you make last year doing this? Let's see. I worked with just the bar i work two jobs so i work a morning job which is not bartending and then my bartending with tips and everything i pulled in probably close to 75

amazing and you think you'll do about the same this year um a little more i think um through the bartending because uh it's at restaurant, it's not at a bar. So we raised a lot of our menu prices. So we've just been seeing kind of an influx in that. Cool. Okay. So you're talking about a regular income. I love that you're still wanting to do the budget because a lot of people go, well, I make a regular income. The budget's really not for me. The budget is especially for those with a regular income. It just looks a little bit different for you. You know what a bad night would look is especially for those with a regular income. It just looks a little bit different for you. You know what a bad night would look like, right, or a bad month, your lowest month.

What would that be? I mean, I do the math real quick. It's not zero. I think of it on a nightly basis than a monthly basis. I think I average around $2.20 a night. But let's say per paycheck or so. I know it's different because of tips and all that, but on a bad week or two, you know,

you know I'm not going to make less than $1,000 a week, right? Sure, yeah. So we can base on that, our budget, and go, all right, if we're going to have a prioritized spending plan, which is what you would have, we're going to prioritize our food, shelter, utilities, and transportation. Those things have to get paid first. What's after that?

What's the next priority? Insurance bills, things that have to get paid? Right. Yeah, like monthly stuff like just phone or internet or insurance, stuff like that. Great. And then beyond that, we're going to go, how much can we allocate towards debt this month? And each month, it's going to look different. Some months, you're going to go, how much can we allocate towards debt this month? And each month it's going to look different. Some months you're going to be able to throw two grand at that debt.

Some months it may be one grand. Right. And so that will help you start to map this out and go, okay, I can't make a perfect plan, but I can make a prioritized spending plan and know I'm going to have whatever's after that two grand of expenses is all going to be gravy I can throw at debt. So that's how you want to set up your budget. You're just going to make a list of priorities and go down the list until you run out of money for that month. Got it. And then the surplus just goes to the debt. Exactly. And dude, you're making six figures, right? Just under. With the second job, it's about 97. Awesome. So 13 grand making 97. How quickly can you pay this off? A few months?

Before Christmas. Yeah. A few months for sure. I'm thinking sometime within the fall. I love it, dude. You're going to be there so fast and you're not scared of work. Let's do, let's don't do sometime in the fall. Let's get really specific like September one or at the latest October one. And let's see if you can make that happen i you hustle too hard man you work too hard yeah set that goal yeah you're wired in there let's don't be like ah sometime this fall october one come hell or high water i'm having this stuff paid off we're gonna make it happen yeah if you say i'm gonna put three grand a month towards

this thing and if you're short of that i'm gonna go can i can i pick up an extra shift can i'll take that hey they called out sick i jump on that. And that helps you stay on track and stay focused. This is not about a balanced life. You are living an out of balance life. You are living a maniacal lions are chasing me and I don't want to die life until you get this debt paid off. Good for you, brother. Crushing it. Man, I want to be like Sal when I grow up. That's impressive. I mean, to have the two jobs, a lot of people go, well, John, I can't do more.

I can't do the two jobs. What do you tell people who feel like doing that hard thing is just, John, I want to live my life, man. I don't want to sacrifice that much. I don't want to work a second or third job. If I'm being totally honest, I don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I don't know. I just am not wired that way. My problem is on the other end is my wife telling me, hey, we've been running for 20 years. We're safe. Slow down. Slow down.

Let's live our life. Well, you've looked into the science and you talk about this in Financial Peace University, but this idea that our brain is saying, you're not safe. Right. There's something attacking us. An animal is chasing us and we're not safe until X, Y, Z. And the problem with the until is culturally speaking and psychologically speaking, that until, that benchmark, that finish line moves all the time, right? If I can just get $10,000 in the bank, can you imagine how that would feel? And I'm coming to believe that most of us think things are going to feel a certain way when we get there. If I just find the right person,

the quote unquote, the one, I'll feel it. Or if I just get my dream job, I'll feel it. If I just get $100,000 in the bank, I'll feel this way. And we're so disillusioned because that feeling never comes. That feeling is not real. It's Hollywood. It's an illusion. And so we don't know another way. So we just hit the gas and run harder trying to find and chase that feeling. And that's when you get yourself into a lot of trouble. You burn yourself out. You start chasing feelings

and you get one more drink or one more drink or you start responding to texts of that person you're not married to or whatever the thing is. You just start chasing that feeling, that feeling, that feeling instead of following a plan. And I'm telling you, I'm the worst about it. I'm the worst. I love that sense of feeling. I love feeling wired up. I love feeling really low. And I don't like sticking to

a plan that we've all agreed on. And this is what we're going to do. Cody, the guy who runs my life here at the office, he's like, hey, this is our plan. We agreed on it. I'm like, yeah, but what about this and this? And he's like, golly, man. And my wife, too. So I think it's the discipline is I don't care how I feel. I don't care of the state of my motivation.

Here's what we wrote down. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to make this thing happen. That's what I told him. Get a date on the calendar and come what may, hit that date. And then we're going to figure out the next round and we're going to not move that benchmark on us all the time. Yeah, squishy leads to ish. You can't spell squishy without ish, Sean. I just made that up. You just, that's your Instagram for the next

five months. More gold coming up on the Ramsey Show. Give us a call at 888-825-5225. We'll be right back. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Maloney. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Well, John, big news. Big, big news. People have been waiting for this. They've been worried about it, and it's finally official student loan payments will restart in october can you believe it yes the game of will they won't they is no longer we can all stop wondering oh geez all right so i want to go back through the history of this okay um this is from this article here that was uh by andy nova back in june 20th um so president trump first announces the stay on federal student loans in march of 2020 when the right when the the pandemic hit and then between trump and biden the the pause has been

extended eight times says here nearly all people eligible for the relief have taken advantage of it with less than 1% of qualifying borrowers continuing to make payments on their debt. Oh boy. Number one, that's insane. I understand people pausing right when the pandemic kicked off

and everyone's got fired and everybody's like, hey, you can't come to work. I get that. But over the last three years, we've had the lowest unemployment in the history of the United States. And we've had job opportunities literally everywhere. And this thing has just been hanging over people. And George, you and I have taken the call over and over and over and over again. And for everybody else, you have, it's late June. so let's say it's the beginning of july august

september you have a three to four month runway to prepare for this thing and george nobody's gonna do it everybody's gonna wait until october and get so mad oh my gosh this came and then we got yes you borrowed money and you signed your name to it you had to pay all yours off i had to pay six figures of mine off it's just what we did we signed up for it and now we're all mad that they didn't make wave the magic wand to make it go away and here's one more funny thing george if let's say biden had been able to just discharge all student loans back when he wanted to a year ago we would have already run up x number of hundred million dollars nationally we didn't stop the because we didn't stop making student loans so we didn't stop college right and so we'd be right back on the path to where we are right now

and so all this is a big quagmire of a mess yeah i just looked at the recent numbers we're at 1.6 trillion and part of that is because nobody's paid off their loans in the past three years so quagmire of a mess. Yeah, I just looked at the recent numbers. We're at $1.6 trillion. And part of that is because nobody's paid off their loans in the past three years. So the number doesn't change much. It just gets added to. And the key here is, John, while payments restart in October, interest starts in September, which means your student loan debt will grow in balance if you don't do something about it. And so if I were you, I wouldn't wait until September. I wouldn't wait until October. I would start paying it off right now. Find out exactly how much you owe. Chances are life has changed. Your loans could have been sold to another servicer. So you've got to go figure all this stuff out and get your head out of the sand

and go, we got to make a plan. And let's be really clear about what this plan means. And I think this is a hallmark of this show is we don't shy away from telling you hard truth even when it's uncomfortable for everybody. If you are one of the millions of people who bought a car on some sort of seven-year note when cars were super expensive and you were able to make that loan work in your household income, not including your student loans, you got three months to sell

that car, period. If you bought a big humongous house and you didn't take into account that you owe six figures in student loans, you're going to have to sell your house because they're going to take it. You're going to lose all this mess. You got three to four months to get on this thing. But when we say make a plan, we don't mean like, well, I guess we're going to have to just stop buying organic grapes this month. For millions of you, this will be shapeshifter because you made long-term plans by borrowing money against a depreciating asset in a car, by buying a house you couldn't afford with the idea that these were just going to magically go away. And they're not. They're not. Everyone was under the illusion that they had an extra 400 bucks a month to spend now because the student loan payments are paused. Bad news,

these aren't going away. You can't even bankrupt student loans. If you don't believe me, go watch the Borrowed Future documentary where we talk to a lawyer who very scarily lets us know just how difficult it is to bankrupt on your student loans there's there george i riled john up guys you riled deloney up it's just rare that i'm without words um please be a i don't mean to do this but i'm going to um please be a person of integrity when it comes to october and don't head for social media don't don't head to your local senator's office and scream and yell everybody knows is coming. Everybody knows it's coming. And if you make payment one in September and payment two in October, and the Supreme Court magically wipes

away 10 grand of this or whatever, fine. You've still done the right thing. But you can't show up in October. And I'll say this as directly as I can. You cannot show up in October and be surprised by this. They're giving us, the government never gives us this kind of warning. They're giving us four months. And really they started telling us this a couple of months ago. So we've had five, six, we've got plenty of time to do the hard things that we have to do to make this thing work. And let this be yet another validation of the Ramsey show. Stop borrowing money. Stop borrowing money. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. It's a simpler way to live. Well, we did a poll on the Ramsey Show

YouTube channel. Over 44,000 people took this poll, and it turns out 72% do not have student loans, which if you're doing the math at home, that means over 12,000 of you who actually follow us on YouTube, you follow this plan, you still have those student loans hanging around your neck, holding you down. And here's a few comments from YouTube that we got. One person said, I took Dave's advice back in 2020

when the payment pause started and I paid off my student loans by the end of that year. It took a few sacrifices, but it was definitely worth it. Another one said, got rid of student loan debt a month ago. It's awesome.

Now putting extra money into principal of my mortgage. Look at that. So it's possible for everyone to pay off their student loans. But let's say this too. We also know around Christmas time and into the new year, there was record levels of people putting life on credit cards. And we knew that there was record levels of spending at the same time

on what we would call luxury items, right? Upgrading things. And so it wasn't a matter of people putting things on credit cards to survive. It was propping up a lifestyle because inflation was high and people wanted to continue to go on vacations and continue to buy nice things and continue the life that they were living before when inflation was zero, was very, very low. And so, so many people have continued to borrow their way towards trying to prop up their lifestyle and not factoring this in. And this 400 bucks, dude, this 800 bucks, however it's going to hit your household, it's going to be ugly for folks who didn't prepare. Yeah. Well, they're saying a lot of folks are going to default because they're confused on what they owe.

They've been ignoring it. They just hope it goes away. This article talks about the confusion. Honestly, I don't buy it. There's no excuse. If this is me and I haven't paid for three years, I'm going to go back to where I started. I'm going to look at that payment

and I'm going to pay that payment on September 1, period. Actually, I'm going to pay that today. But if I can't afford it, I'm going to figure it out. Yes, and pay what you can pay. But I'm going to start back at that bill. Don't just walk around, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. That's like a middle school kid.

Like, I didn't know I had to pick up my underwear. I have to change my underwear every day. Yes, every day. It's just like that. Don't make that dumb excuse, man. Yeah, maybe. It's frustrating. It's frustrating.

John, for a while, it's fun to point fingers and go like, well, inflation and cost of living. Have you seen the housing market? And John, the president, I mean, take a look at this guy. That's the reason for all my problems. Instead of looking inward, looking at the mirror and going, hey, maybe I am part of the problem. Maybe it is my lifestyle. Maybe my debt payments are killing me, whether I see them right now or not. And so what

are the things we can control out of that entire equation? Inflation, cost of living, who's president? The guy in the mirror. And maybe, maybe I won't even go with fault. I didn't know what I was signing when I was 18. I didn't know what I was signing when I was 25, but I did. And so maybe even it's not a fault. It's a who's to blame. But there's one person that can take care of this, and that's the person in the mirror, right? And please, please, please, this is just your friend John talking. Don't wait till October and act surprised. Make a plan starting right now. It's not all your fault, but it is your responsibility. Do what it takes to become debt-free. Do what it takes to get that freedom at all cost no matter the sacrifice you will find that it was well worth your time this is the ramsey show this is the ramsey show listen we have people who tune in to every episode of this show and

they know all the stuff we teach about money they could sit here at the desk and rattle off the advice, but they still feel stressed out, and they feel stuck. Why is that? Well, because knowing what to do with your money isn't the problem. Actually doing it is. Personal finance is 80% behavior, only 20% head knowledge. And the proven way to change that behavior is by going through Financial Peace University. This is the class that's the difference between trying to get in shape on your own versus hiring a personal trainer. You'll have a coordinator holding you accountable and other people in your class pushing you on, cheering you on, and that's why this class has worked for millions of people. After nine weeks, nine lessons, you will never handle money the same way again, and you'll make progress faster

than ever. So don't just listen to the show and listen to this advice. Commit to doing what it takes to win. Join an FPU class at ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU. All right, let's go out to Candice in Richmond, Virginia. Candice, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. My question is, I am almost $60,000 in debt, and I am not sure where to go from here. You called the right place. Okay, so tell us about this debt. What's made up of the $60,000? So this was pre-Dave Ramsey stuff, but I have a HELOC. I have a personal loan, which was for taxes, because I ended up owing taxes. My car, I have a credit card, a 401k loan, and then my phones.

And then there's a little bit of medical debt as well. I think you've collected them all. Yeah. We're running out of types of debt you could even go get. Okay. So what is your household income right now? It is just under $70,000. Okay. Is it just you? Yes. Okay, cool. So what are your next steps? Well, tell me about this. What do you have right now in the bank or things that you could sell? Well, I do have my $1,000 emergency fund. Good.

And as far as things I can sell, I've already sold some tools out of my garage and I'm going through the rooms in my house trying to declutter so that I can sell stuff and get it out. Awesome. So we're already on the right track. And what do you do for work? I do arbitration for an insurance company. Okay. Are you able to take on a side hustle or two? I've been thinking about it. I'm a single mom, so my time is limited on what I can do, but yes. Well, that's impressive. You're already crushing it. Is this, she in daycare or he in daycare? One is in school and one is in daycare. Okay. But you're willing to do something, even if it's part-time, to try to create a little

more income. Because I'm looking at the numbers here and going, all right, 60K in debt, making 70. How much can we throw at this debt? You know, 20, 30K if we're lucky, right? That gets it done in two or three years? Right. That's what we're looking at now. So I'm going, how do we speed this thing up as we start putting these into our debt snowball, smallest to largest, let's start attacking it.

But right now, we just need a bigger shovel compared to the hole. Right. Do you have any support or help with your kids? No. It's all by yourself. What do you do for a living? I work for an insurance company. Okay. Right. Currently I'm working from home, but we are going back a couple of days a week starting next month. What is that going to do to your internal budget? Is it going to cost you more in childcare? It's not going to cost me more in childcare, but it's going to cost me a lot more in gas because I live about an hour and a half from the building. Okay.

And that was my bigger question. Is this what you want to do long term? Is there opportunities for you to begin to at least throw some lines in the water and see if there's not another 80 or 90 or $100,000 job out there instead of the $70,000 job that may even be closer to you, that may allow you to stay, continue working from home if that works for you. But anytime I feel, I just really don't like the either or scenario. And I always at least want to try and see if there's a third or fourth or fifth option out there that I don't know about. The other thing I want to tell you, how old are your kids? Six and three. Six and three. Okay.

Have you been through it personally over the last five, six years? Oh, yes. Yeah. I'm sorry. I hate that for you. Sometimes the temptation in those moments is to pour every remaining ounce we have into those kids as some sort of protective, prophylactic, like a way to try to insulate them from the hurt that has been going on and it might still be continuing to some degree inside that house. Is that fair? Yes. I want to tell you the other side of that, when you don't owe anybody any money and mama is financially safe, there's a peace that courses through that house. It's the air that gets pumped into that home that is restorative in a way that you can only dream about right now on this side of owing

$60,000. I tell you that to tell you if there's a way that you can secure $30,000 in a side hustle, $15,000 in a side hustle, And it's going to cost you a little bit more in this or a little bit more in that. And it's going to cost you the most expensive thing, which is your time with these little ones. If you can do that for a small amount of time, you do that for six months, you do that for a year, you do that for 18 months, the back end of having a home that is anxiety-free, a home that is peaceful, for those little babies' nervous system, for your nervous system, it's just such a gift. And so I know the temptation is to say, yeah, but I've got, these moments are so precious,

and God, they are. But man, whole peaceful moments on the backend are, they're just worth their weight in gold. Right. So if you can find it, go for it. I'm not opposed to another job. I don't like change. I know. I know. I know. You've been through enough the last few years. And I've been with my job for 17 years, but I do want to get out. I don't want to do this. I don't like the direction they're going. I've never needed a resume. I don't even know how to do a resume. Well, we got you.

So here's what I want you to do. I want you to stay on the line. I'm going to send you a couple of things. I'm going to send you a link to Ken Coleman's Resume Builder. He's going to walk you through. There's a bunch of resume templates there. And I'm going to send you his Get Clear Assessment that says, okay, I've got this skill set. I've been doing this job for this long. What are some other things I might be interested in? What are some other things that

might be instantly qualified for? What are some things that I'm really close and I just need to go get some more education, get some more schooling, and I'm right there. So I'm going to send you that. And we're going to send you his book, Proximity Principle, which is this simple way of getting connected with people in your local community who may be doing the job that you want to be doing. And how do I reach out and make that thing happen? Is that cool?

Okay. Yes. So hang on the line here. We're going to get you taken care of. I love it. And Candice, what is the car worth versus what you owe? I owe about $6,400 on my car and it's worth probably $17,000 or $18,000. Okay.

My car payment's $174.96 a month. Okay. I might consider, if you sold that thing, you'd have $10,000 to go buy yourself a nice cash car that could get you from A to B just fine while you get out of this debt, and it might help you see the light at the end of this tunnel. Okay. while you get out of this debt. And it might help you see the light at the end of this tunnel. If you can clear 10% of your debt next week, it will give you a little bit of hope. And I think that's what you need right now is a little bit of proof that this stuff actually can work, that you can get out of this and then start doing the math going, all right, if I'm going to try to

get rid of this debt in two years, that's 25 or 30K a year, that's 2,500 bucks a month. How do I make up that much margin through spending less and making more? And that will help you stay on target so you're not just hoping and wishing. Instead, you go, I'm going to be debt-free two years from now, no matter what, come hell or high water, I'm going to be there. And on top of all that stuff we just gave you, I'm going to gift you one year of Financial Peace University and one year of Every Dollar Premium so that you can start to map out that plan, map out your income, get encouraged by the videos. You can join a virtual class online. Do that. You need a gang.

You need a gang to walk with. You're doing this alone right now, and you don't have to. There's millions of people who are on the same journey who can encourage you, who can get you connected to other places and give you some ideas. That's what this is all about. So hang a line. We're about to send you a whole bunch of stuff, and I hope it gives you a little bit of hope, pun intended. So thank you so much for the call, Candice.

We are cheering you on. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, if you're a new listener to the show and you want to dive deeper into the baby steps, into the stuff we're talking about, you can go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the get started button and we will help you figure out the next best step for your financial journey based on where you're at today. That's RamseySolutions.com and click Get Started. Our question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services. You can trust Neighborly's local service providers to repair, maintain, and improve your home. Visit Neighborly.com to find experts in your area and schedule services today. All right, today's question comes from Rachel in Oklahoma. Rachel writes,

why does getting current on my four walls and necessities in Baby Step Zero feel like the most emotionally draining thing in the world to get through? My financial situation feels taxing and heavier than it's ever been. How do I work through this and remain hopeful? George, you're kind of the baby step zero originator, man. Yeah. I remember being here back in 2013 when I first started this plan. And I think what she's describing here is having to face reality potentially for the very first time. Like looking in that financial mirror and going, oh my gosh, this is what all the bills add up to versus my income. And this is the actual debt totals. And here's the interest rates and here's all the fine print and all the statements.

And it just feels overwhelming. Like the walls are coming in on you. And the key is you can't stay there. The plan is not, hey, just look at it all and then just you'll be all right. The plan is what do we do from here? What do we do? How do we make a plan? How do we get on that budget? How do we make a plan and get rid of the debt? And that's where you start to feel some hope. And John, you speak to kind of facing that reality and grappling with sometimes what you didn't want to see in that mirror. Yeah, there's no way towards emotional wellness or even physical wellness, spiritual wellness, unless you take an inventory of where you are, right?

And so there's something powerful about getting that first blood test back from a reputable doctor, and they sit you down and they go, whoa, right? There's that first time you sit down with a counselor. I'll never forget sitting down with Dr. Smith and just vomiting for two hours. Here's all that's going on. And he sat down, I mean, he was sitting down and he said, hey man, here's what it sounds like is going on. And he nailed me to the wall and he was right. And I didn't want to believe it, right? Or there's those moments I've had in my marriage when it is almost, it's hanging on barely. And we, my wife and I have both had to sit down and say,

okay, what are we going to do next? Is this it? Is this it? Are we calling it? Or are we going to have to control, delete, and rebuild this thing from the floor up? And those moments are never fun, and they're never glorious,

and they're never exciting. I love how Rachel says it. It feels like it's emotionally draining. Yes, it is. Owning reality is the worst. That's why, honestly, you cannot do it alone effectively, right? There's great internet stories about like, I just went to the gym and I started crushing it. And four years later, I lost 700 pounds. That happens. That's not most of us. Most of us need somebody to sit with us or a couple of people and say, yeah, it's emotionally draining. Here's what the next

right move is. And that's one of the keys to Financial Peace University. What I think makes it so powerful and so successful is not because, man, those lessons just, they're exactly, yes, the knowledge is there and it's very motivating to watch the videos, but a key component is accountability and community and structure. I got to show up once a week and they're going to wonder why I didn't show up to that next class. That accountability, that community going, oh, I'm also not alone. Other people have done dumb stuff too. Half of you listening to the show listen because you're like, oh, I'm not that bad. That makes me feel better. That person's crazy. Yeah, I'm out of control a little bit too, but we need to know that we're not crazy. We're not alone. Other people can win. Those people

look like me. I can do this too. And so if that's you, get connected with other people, get connected to an FPU class. It makes all the difference. And regardless of what type of reality you're having to face, that you're in an abusive relationship and you're not doing this anymore, or that your kid is not okay, or that you're tired of being overweight and now you're having to face, that you're in an abusive relationship and you're not doing this anymore, or that your kid is not okay, or that you're tired of being overweight and now you're going to make some significant changes. Whatever that reality is, please reach out and get somebody to sit with you. Whether you've got a couple of trusted friends, whether you've got a professional, whether it's a nutritionist or a counselor or a doctor, get somebody with you that will help you with some of the reflection as you work your way through it. It's tough.

It feels taxing and heavier, as Rachel says, than it's ever been. Yes, reality will do that to us. The other beautiful thing about going through the FPU class or sitting with a professional is they can show you all of the people who sat right where you are. And they're a success story after success story after success story. Millions of people have been right where you are. And so there's, you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you can head off into the darkness knowing that it's there. Good word. Thank you for the question, Rachel. Let's go to the phones. Catherine joins us up next in Pittsburgh. Catherine, what's going on? Hi. I'm a little bit nervous, but my question was... You're all right. Take it easy.

Yeah. Have you heard me and George? There's really nothing to be nervous about. You're good. Yeah. So my question is, my husband and I have been married for about a little less than two years, and he's about to enter grad school for about three years for three years and I will be limited on the amount of work I can do and I'm just getting really anxious and scared about it. How come? Why is it why is his grad school attendance impacting your ability to work? So I'm about to have a baby, and then where we're living, we're not near any family, and there's limited daycare options. And he will be working probably in clinical probably 60 hours a week. That kind of limits him.

I'm going to ask a crazy question. Call me ignorant. Yeah. Why is right now the time for him to go to grad school? Well, we've been planning on it. So for the past year and eight months, we've been saving pretty aggressively. We've saved about $230,000. Wow.

And so I, but I'm still just in so much fear that it won't be enough because we're trying to cashflow school. What's the program? Which is a hundred. He's a nurse, going to be a nurse anesthetist. Okay. So that's expensive. Does he already have a master's or a bachelor's the program? He's going to be a nurse anesthetist. Okay. So that's expensive. Does he already have a master's or a bachelor's in nursing?

So we paid off $70,000 during our engagement for his bachelor's in nursing. Okay. And then when we got married, we basically just saved my entire income for the past almost two years to prepare for school so we could cash flow it while also knowing that I'm probably going to be pregnant and have limited capacity to work. How much of your inner angst is related to the fact that you're going to be moving and starting a family and a sense of impending loneliness? You're going to be all by yourself.

I think it's just like a lack of control. I feel like I'm definitely the planner in the relationship and just the lack of... Because it sounds like you've planned really... You've planned better than 99.9 percent of the people that call this show i feel like it's never gonna be enough yeah and that statement right there that's your anxiety talking that's not reality because the reality is katherine and her husband plan incredibly well and katherine and her husband have have been through it. You had to pay off 70 grand.

That's a lot. That sucked. And then you turned around and saved $230,000 on the back end so that never happened again. And you're having a baby, which for you controllers, you planners, those calendars go right out the window.

When that baby cries, we got to deal with it, right? And that baby wakes up, we got to deal with it. And so there is a total loss of control. And there's also a loss of control when you move to a whole new state and a whole new city, just as one of the most transitional moments of your life is happening, right? All that's true. The work I think ahead of you is how can I get plugged into a group of young moms in my new community so that I don't wake up and it's been four months and the only other living person I've seen besides this four-month-old is my exhausted in clinical rotation husband. That sounds like the work ahead of you because you've taken care of the money part.

Y'all are doing great. And on the financial side, have you guys done a budget with just your income, even part-time to go, are we going to be able to cover all the bills for the next few years? Yeah, we probably have to find another way to pay for insurance because right now it's $600 a month. But yeah, for the most part. And here's the deal. Here's the deal. There is a possibility. Let's say y'all sat down and like we just talked about in the previous segment, you got to own reality. We're going to do a hard budget and he might need to postpone his enrollment for one year. And any program in the country will let him do that. He can put he can punt it for one more year and save up the money.

Or he may tell the admissions person that and they may say, well, dude, we'll just write you a scholarship and it will help you out because they need the enrollment numbers these days. So it's just about owning reality and just being very clear on that budget. Thanks for the call, Catherine. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.