The Ramsey Show - App - Be Gracious With People During This Season of Loss (Hour 3)

Episode Date: April 17, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. Ramsey Personality, Dr. D, Dr. John Deloney joins us this hour to talk with you and answer your questions about relationship IQ issues. Maybe how you're treating or talking to yourself, others, other people dealing with you, marriage struggles, parenting struggles, toxic work environment issues,

whatever it falls in the area of mental health, of course, relationship IQ, how you deal with other people. He's here to help. Welcome back for another hour. Thank you so much. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Kelly is in Arizona. Hi, Kelly.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much. Okay, so I'm kind of nervous and I tend to ramble. So if I, you know, start rambling, just tell me to stop and get back on. Okay, we'll smack you around. Me too, Kelly. Me too.

Great. Good. I'm in good company then. So here's the thing is my husband and I, when we got married, I found out about debt that he had I didn't know about. And so whether this was the right choice or not, my dad paid it off so we would start out debt free. And then when we moved down to Arizona, so this is quite, no, no,

then you had to get an American Express card for work because you didn't have a work card and you had to pay for all of his trips up front and then get reimbursed. And I hated the idea of it, but it was, well, you've got to get it. It's only for work, period. Nothing else, just for work. So we should never have a balance. And then we came to Arizona and he needed a new car and I got that.

So he bought a really expensive car which I did not agree with and then lied to me about how much it was it he said it was about $38,000 it was $50,000 and then recently he wasn't sure he was going to get his bonus he did get his bonus for work and that's when I found out that the American Express has been being used. And he said it was about $10,000. It was actually $18,000. So we had to use his bonus for that, although he said it's still not fully paid off. So I hate that. I'm allergic to it.

My dad has taught me well. However, when I talk to him about it, he refuses to stop using it. He's made it clear he will still be using a car. Well, I don't know what to do with that because I mean, I have no control over it, but I'm going to be, well, mentally, let's face it. It's going to be hard. I don't trust him. Every time I see him wearing something new and i feel angry because i'm like oh we just paid off the money that we needed to put furniture in our house with to pay off your son yeah and you're wearing it in front of me you know so here's the thing i don't know here's the thing you guys regardless of the credit card there's more going on here you're

simply not on the same page with money okay and so the conversation would sound like this the marriages the number one cause of disagreement honey in america in marriage and the number one cause of divorce is money fights and money problems and we have that we have the we have we have been infected inside of our home with the number one thing that ends marriages. This is going to end our marriage if we don't work on it together because it does everyone else's. of millionaires that we did, we found zero millionaires out of 10,000 that we studied who became millionaires against their spouse's will. They all learned to work together. So there's two data points here that are very important for him and you to come to agreement on. Number one, the number one cause of divorce is money, problems and disagreements over money.

We have that. Number two, we're not unified in how we're handling money, and 100% of the millionaires handle money together in unity with their spouse. We don't have that. So not only are we not destined to have a great marriage, we're also not destined to build wealth. This is a problem. Yeah. And I think you need to sit down with him and cut the TV off and look into his eyes and explain to him this is a problem. It hasn't got anything to do with the credit card card we're not on the same page and we're not

handling money together and the way to start it is with a good budget where the two of you agree on all of your spending for your entire household on paper on purpose and you negotiate through the disagreements but then we come to agreement and's on paper, and it becomes a contract before the month begins. And then you both stick to the contract unless you sit down and both of you in the middle of the month decide to adjust it with an emergency budget committee meeting for an adjustment because something has come up. But what happens here is that you don't have a contract, and yet you're trying to hold him to a contract. No, we do have a budget. No, you don't. Yeah, we do have a budget.

The thing is that because he thinks the American Express is his right, it's his plane money. I don't get to know anything about it. Well, the money that pays off the American Express either comes from his company or it comes out of your budget so you don't have a budget you have a fantasy of a budget you have a budget not counting whatever he wants to take out of it to pay the american express and you're not willing to put anything on the american express line item in the budget and he his he has whatever he wants on that line item because he makes it up every month thus we have disagreement oh okay i see what you're saying yeah so what would be something you would do that he as a behavior of behavior of yours that would just infuriate him?

A behavior I would do? Mm-hmm. If you just got up and left one afternoon and went home to your mother's for the weekend and didn't even tell him, or you went out with the girls and stayed out till two o'clock in the morning um you know mine is more my attitude than my behavior yeah but my point is is that he needs to hear that when you do this it makes me feel like it makes me feel the way you would feel if i did that i'm not saying you go engage in one of those behaviors. I'm just saying somehow you've got to get through this bozo because he thinks this is no big deal, and it's driving you berserk.

Yeah. So if I sit down and I have it, when I sit down and have this conversation with them again, but a little bit differently. And I talk about a budget for the American Express. There's no checks and balances. There shouldn't be in a budget for the American Express because 100 percent of the American Express should be paid by the company. Other than that, he should buy stuff out of your all's budget. Oh, yeah. No, no. He won't do that. company. Other than that, he should buy stuff out of your all's budget. Period. Oh, yeah, no, no. He won't do that. He's made it clear he won't because he doesn't want me.

He doesn't want me. He wants to spend whatever he wants to spend, which is a deal breaker for you. He needs to hear this. He's a liar, Dave. Yeah. He's married to a liar. Yeah, exactly. And there's arrogance here that's unbelievable. Yeah, you guys need to go see a marriage counselor. You need to sit down with your pastor. This is going against, this is going to run in the wall fast.

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If you've got a question for John, you can always e-mail him at a new e-mail we set up this week. So you can jump in and do that. The e-mail address is askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. Our question of the day comes from blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. And I like this because I don't work with many companies that have a doofus guarantee, but if I'm a doofus and I mismeasure the blinds, which I could do that.

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It's a great company. New promos they run all the time. Use Ramsey as a promo code to get the best deal. Our question, John, comes from Valerie in Texas. My husband and I are wondering, if we live on a military base, should we save up six months of our rent in our emergency fund? Basic housing allowance is removed from our paycheck automatically, so we never see any of it.

You can do either one, aal. It doesn't matter. Very seldom in life are you upset that you had too much saved in your emergency fund. And so three to six months of expenses, you know, if you go six months out and you don't have rent in it, it's probably going to be about the same as if you did three months without the, with the rent. So it doesn't matter to me, but, you know know lots of people right now today that have an emergency fund none of them are angry today that their emergency fund is too large i've not gotten that complaint from anyone and so um you know that i don't try to figure out that stuff i just go hey pile some money aside it's gonna rain you need a rainy day fund and if

you want a little bit bigger umbrella it'll make you a little more comfortable when it rains ask the united states of america right now they'll tell you uh hey guys our uh man we have got a deal on these books we've made all of our best-selling books. We've got 40 best-selling books here. All of my number ones, Rachel Cruises, Chris Hogan's, Anthony O'Neill, Ken Coleman. You can say it, Dave. Everybody but me. I got it. Before we know it, there'll be one from Dr. John Deloney, but not yet. Kick me while I'm down, Dave. It's cool. Well, you're the new kid. You're the new kid. It takes a little while to print a book it's okay we'll get there and uh but all these number one best sellers are available for ten dollars right now davramsey.com slash hope a coronavirus special if you want to call it that

that's pretty lame-o but uh bottom line is a bunch of you got time on your hands to read you might as well be reading something positive instead of watching tiger King reruns. So just go to DaveRamsey.com slash hope, and that's also where you can connect for the 14-day free trial on Financial Peace University as well. Debbie is with us in Virginia. Hi, Debbie. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. How can John and me help?

Hi, Dave. Hi, Dr. D. Thank you for taking my call. My daughter was supposed to get married in March, and of course that didn't happen. We've rescheduled everything for later in the summer, but she just can't seem to get excited about it. She's very depressed. She's down, and I just don't know how to help her. I don't know what to say to her.

How old is she? She is 30. Okay. Well, she had a big celebration plan that got canceled. That would be pretty, I mean, that's a bummer. Yeah. So one of the things, I'm going to, you said something that set one of my alarms off, Debbie,

and then I'm going to paint you a broader picture. I think someone gets their wedding canceled like this, one of the things that I'm seeing going on all across the country is we are not acknowledging that we are grieving things, that we're grieving these losses. And more insidiously or worse, we are kind of judging people's grief cycles and wanting them to grieve on our timetables. And so, it sounds like this was a huge deal in your world and in her world. And so, let her grieve it and let her come around to, this is her wedding, this is her future. And so, let her put a date on the calendar for when it's going to look like next. And what I would caution everybody against, but specifically you, is you mentioned the words we rescheduled. And so I would put the onus on her.

This is her wedding, and this is her event. She's 30 years old. I would let her drive what this looks like next, and you get to play supportive, I love you, wherever you happen to be, Mom. And it takes you off of the stress of planning something. It takes you out of the stress of doing planning something that takes you out of the the stress of doing anything other than just loving your daughter through this messy time yeah she's 30 this is not christmas morning and you didn't give her a toy right right i know how exciting it is i i mean i don't know how exciting it's a mom i gotta tell you we've had we had three big weddings

when our three kids got married we love a big party i would have been seriously bummed and i know my kids would have been bummed if they'd had to cancel one of those things in the middle of this and we've had friends that got married anyway their kids i had a friend of our good friend of ours with the kids a friend the kids 25 got married the other day and it's just you know eight of them out in the field eight feet apart or whatever however you do that now and it's just like god man i would hate that so bad because i'm a hugger and i want to i want to you know i want to have a toast i want to have a good time i just no that's a milestone it's a it's a that's man that's just a heartbreaking thing and you're 30 you know and you didn't do it when you were 20 you know you've been waiting to do this

and so let people grieve it let people grieve it you can't usher i mean you can't speed that along sometimes so you're saying it would be normal is what you're saying for her to be a little depressed about this she should be as low as could be absolutely and i would even caution against russian to put something else on the calendar because it's already on the calendar she said no the next one it is oh it is and they said they moved it to june or something right i think that's what she said okay okay yeah so it's there but and she's having trouble getting excited about the new one because she. Well, now she's got an experience of it getting canceled and we don't know what June's going to look like. Right.

And so, yeah, it's hard to get your hopes back up, but, but just be gracious with people right now as they're grieving the loss of any number of things like graduations and kindergarten and Easter programs. It's. Oh. It's a season of loss right now. You know, I remember one time that we were doing some training in a ministry thing we were in 25 years ago and it was the first time, in a ministry thing we were in 25 years ago.

And it was the first time, I don't know, it was 35 years ago. My God. But the guy said, don't try to fix people when they're there. Just be there. Just be there. Just sit beside them. The ministry of presence. Just be present.

You don't have to have a cliche like it's all going to work out. Just show up at the well and a cup of water. All things work together for good. No, don't have to have a cliche like it's all going to work out. Just show up at the well and a cup of water. All things work together for good. No, don't quote me scriptures, you know. Just say, you know, I understand it sucks, and I'm here with you while it sucks. I'm just here. That's it. Just present.

That's the gift. That's what you can do. That's the gift. And you know what? She's going to get excited again because she's going to get married. It's going to be awesome. Everything's going to be great. Vicki is in Idaho. Hi,icki welcome to the dave ramsey show

hi dave thanks for taking my call sure um i have i just retired i'm 70 years old and my husband passed away in february and i have two paid off homes i paid off my cars and we had a large savings account. I have 12 residential apartments, four commercial long-term leases. And I have money in the stock market. I have $150 in growth stocks, $150 in mid-risk stocks, and $150 in bonds. And the rest of the money is in the money market. And my question was... How much is the rest of the money? A million two. In addition to that $450, you got $1.2 million in cash.

Correct. Wow, look at you. You guys have done a wonderful job. I'm so sorry for your loss in February. I'm sure that's still tough. Yeah, it is. But my question was, how do you feel about gold? Would that be something that I should invest in? I don't own a dime of gold. Oh, I got some nice gold cufflinks, but I don't have any money invested in it. And the reason is, is that the long-term track record on gold sucks. It's got a horrible rate of return over 50, 60 years when you look at it. And it is an emotional investment. It's what's called a commodity. It's an item. And anytime there's a commodity and there's a X number of supply of it, the only thing that drives the price up or down is greed or fear. There's no actual money created by the gold. Where if you buy stocks or you buy real estate, there's actual money that it creates and gives it value. Gold has no intrinsic value except that we

assign value to it any more than green paper does with president's faces on it. It's green paper. The only reason it has values, we assign value to it. And so it isn't, you know, I don't invest in currencies either for that reason. So I wouldn't put a dime in it. I don't like gold at all. Thanks for the call. Folks, I love telling you about well-made, well-thought-out products. Today, I'm talking about Grip6 belts. I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of traditional belts. They never fit right, and they're uncomfortable. Grip 6 belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly modern, minimalist belt made of high-quality materials with no holes, no flap, and no bulk. And the buckles come in really cool designs and are interchangeable.

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Love it. Thank you, teachers. We love you. Absolutely. All right. Matthew is with us. Matthew is in North Carolina. Hi, Matthew. How are you? I'm doing well, Dave. Good to speak with you. Absolutely. All right. Matthew is with us. Matthew is in North Carolina. Hi, Matthew.

How are you? I'm doing well, Dave. Good to speak with you. You too. What's up? I have a question. I'm on what I'm calling baby steps two and a half. I've got $4,000 in debt left, and I'm sitting on $8,000 in cash just waiting for Corona to blow over.

Okay. and in cash just waiting for corona to blow over okay um i was looking at the cares act and the suspension of the 10 withdrawal penalty i'm not looking to pull the money out for personal use but i was looking at is it wise to take a withdrawal to fund a roth. No. It's already invested. You don't need to fund it into a Roth IRA. No, I wouldn't do that. Now, you have a 401k at work is what we're talking about, right? I do. I put money into it before I started the baby steps.

Good. Okay. And does it have a Roth option now that you could start from this point forward? I can put in after-tax money. I'm sorry? I can put in after-tax money, but there is no Roth designation that I'm aware of. Okay, because some people have added in the past, a lot of companies have added the Roth option to their 401k in the past three years.

So even if you started many years ago, you ought to contact them after you get to Baby Step 4 again. And when you restart, if you can restart in Roth mode from this point forward, I would. But I'm not going to have you create any taxes at all at this stage of your Baby Steps. You don't need the bills. You need to be out of debt, have the emergency fund, and be investing. Later on, if you're at Baby Step 7 and you want to move some stuff to a Roth, at that point you would roll your 401K if you've left your company or something like that, or if you've got a traditional IRA,

you could roll it to a Roth. But that always creates taxes even if there are no penalties, and there's not a penalty involved in moving it to a Roth. And so that's what I would do. All right. Jason is in Florida. Hi, Jason. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Good afternoon, Dave and Doc. Thank you so much for taking my call. Me and my wife are big fans, Dave. It's an honor. Thank you. You too. Years ago, we used to be credit card junkies, and it's like everything credit card, credit card.

Then we started listening to you you and then little by little, it took some time. Like you always say, babysit. We started changing our mindset. Everything about credit cards, your mindset is focusing on, on having no debt.

So we started paying all of our cards basically just by saving money and not doing the things that you told us not to do. And I have one card that we still have. It's worth about $7,000, $8,000. So my question is, I do all right, but I just got furloughed. So I lost a little income with one of my part-time jobs. Is it a good idea to call these credit cards? I've heard you say before, call the credit cards,

try to negotiate something with them to try to pay less, not knowing what the future is going to bring. I think we do have some money that we can play with. And if we do that, does it affect our credit score in any way? Yes, it does affect your credit score. And I only suggest people not pay their bills if they're not able to. No, I understand. Okay, and so if they're not able to. No, I understand. Okay, and so if you're not able to pay them,

then you could call them and offer them what you have, and if they want to accept that as a settlement, I mean, if you owe them $5,000 and you're not able to pay them, but you can scrape together a couple grand and you want to offer them that as a settlement on that, that's fine. But I don't want to do that just as a settlement on that that's fine but i don't want to do that just as a technique that's not the point no no no i realize that but yeah because that's why i said yeah and it does hurt your credit because you're not being paid basically

your credit score or your credit you know the the things on your credit report are reporting what has happened and if you just kind of think about it like you were the bank for a second, if you didn't get all your money that you loaned to somebody, you loaned your brother 100 bucks, and he comes in and goes, you know, I'm not, I'm kind of broke, I can, I can give you 60, and you go, well, I'm probably not gonna get my money. He, you know, his reputation is diminished because he didn't pay the bill in full, and your reputation, if you don't pay the bill, is your credit bureau report or your credit score is diminished because you didn't pay the bill in full. It's all you could do.

And your brother-in-law, that's all he could do. He was broke. But next time he comes around wanting to borrow money, you're not going to be likely to do it because he didn't pay his bill. And that's what amounts to with your credit bureau report as well. So hopefully that helps. Kyle is in New Hampshire.hire hey kyle welcome to the dave ramsey show uh hey guys thanks for taking my call today sure what's up uh quick question um so i have fifteen thousand dollars in uh college debt left to pay off that i've been paying down for the past

few years and then about two thousand on a credit card um and i've been paying down for the past few years, and then about $2,000 on a credit card. I've been trying to save some money up over the course of my life, and I'm wondering if I should just use my savings to pay off all of my debt. How much savings do you have? $30,000. Good for you. What do you do for a living? I work for a contractor of the DOD. Okay. So your job's real stable right now, right? Yep. They mark me essential. Yep. I would guess so. Okay.

So the thing is this. We teach a process called the baby steps, and it's the thing to do first, the thing to do second, the thing to do third, for proper personal financial planning to cause you to go from broke to wealthy to outrageously generous in the shortest possible time okay yep baby step one is save a thousand dollars you've done that so baby step two is to be out of debt which you should do by the end of the day write a check out of your 30,000 and pay off your 17,000 in debt you'll still have 13 $13,000 left. Did I do that right? Yep. Okay. I've been listening to you for a while now on and off.

Okay. Then tell me what Baby Step 3 is. Save three to six months of expenses. Yep. That's your $13,000 plus whatever you need to add to it to get to three to six months of expenses. Okay. So after this phone call, you are now walking the baby steps and you are on baby step three. What do you feel like three to six months of expenses would be for you? Quick math. Let's see.

What are you spending a month? A month? Hard number. I don't necessarily have, I mean, my bills monthly is around like $1,200. Okay. Let's call it $3,000. Okay. Three times that would be $9,000. Six times that would be $18,000. You have $13,000. Yep. Okay. So if you want to call that your emergency fund, it is three to six months of your expenses. We can call it that and you can move on to baby step four, which is 15% of your income going into retirement. So all I did was apply that decision-making framework to your situation and it says pay off your debts as soon as you get off the phone. I just moved him way down the line. He moved him way down the line. He had the stuff.

I just had to fine tune and, you know, shake the jar a little bit. What a stud. That's so good. Yeah, he's done really well. Hope he calls back. Call back next week and set up your debt-free screen. Yeah. There you go.

That's fantastic. Because now you are. And you did it all in one day. How long did it take you? How long did it take you? It took me a couple of years. 28 seconds. This guy makes a phone call to an 800 number, and man, just like that.

Good for him. Well, because he had that savings. He's done a great job. Good work. All we're doing is fine-tuning, and he'll get there really, really fast now. Funny how we keep that dead around like it's a backache. Wow. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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Herman Cain said, success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you're doing, you will be successful. He's right about that, John. You know, the interesting thing, though, is that sometimes when people hear that you love what you're doing, it means you're going to love every moment of it, and that would be not true. It's in general you love what you're doing. I, in general, love what I do, but there's parts of what I do that sucks.

Right. And, you know, I what I do, but there's parts of what I do that sucks. Right. And, you know, I put up with the travel. I used to put up with the travel back when we traveled. Back before the nuclear winter. Back before we traveled. I put up with the travel because I like to see the people, and I like to speak. I like to do live events in person. And so if we never do another live event again and we all do them on Zoom,

I'm going to be pissed. I won't like that. But I put up with the travel to do that. I put up with hotels to do that other stuff. So it's not like every moment is going to be sheer bliss. Sometimes I think people get this like the first time there's a moment that isn't sheer bliss, they're like, oh, it must not be my passion.

They do that in relationships. We do that in work. We do that everywhere, right? The first moment I feel not happy, I'm out. I'm out. Tap out. I'm done. I put makeup on today, Dave, to get on this radio show here.

That's a part of this job, but I'm not a huge fan of it. But I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, at least your head doesn't shine. I have to put it on. My head looks like a light bulb. Yeah, I look like a light bulb if I don't put it on. All right, let's see here.

Barb is in Indiana. Hey, Barb, how are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks so much for taking my call. You're awesome. You are, too. How can we help? Thank you.

I'm on baby step seven. My husband and I both work full time. I'm a hairstylist and considered unessential. My husband is still working. We haven't touched our emergency fund, but now that the governor is extending the stay-at-home order and I'm going to be off work longer, I guess, am I greedy if I take unemployment? I don't want to hurt the country. Oh, I don't think the country is going to cave in because you took unemployment. No, it's not greedy.

That's not the emotion. You're a person of dignity, a person of positive types of pride not negative pride thank you and that's what's that's what's bothering you it's not it's not greed it's not greed it's just like you you thought i'm not afraid to work so why would i do this you're that person am i wrong no i i want to work i'm dying to work and i've been working while my husband's working in the basement. I am working around the house doing all kinds of projects. But, I mean, I want to go back to work and work for pay. So how much longer did they extend in Indiana?

Was it the end of the month? Two more weeks. The governor said May 1st. Yeah, May 1st. Okay. That seems to be a number that's floating around the states that have low count, that there seems to be a lot of people. I think Tennessee, I think our state's probably on about the same track, give or take.

But that's what it looks like anyway. Our governor hasn't said yet. But there seems to be a lot of states with low count. Indiana's got a low count. Tennessee has a low count. So anyway, well, really all we're talking about is for two weeks so i don't know is it worth is it worth screwing with i mean do you need the money no no i just want to i mean i don't really need it we haven't touched our six-month emergency

savings our houses paid for. You know, everything is good, but we're running out of just our little extra money that, you know, and I want to go buy flowers, and I just seem so frivolous. Well, you have paid in or your employer has paid into unemployment. Otherwise, you wouldn't qualify for it, and so, you know, you can do it. I wonder how – I've never applied for it, so I don't know how difficult it is to get it. Because it's only for two weeks. I mean, it might be, like, more trouble than it's worth is kind of what occurs to me.

But, you know, figure out how much you would get and how much trouble it is to do it. I don't have any moral or lack of dignity or, I think, less of Barb because she went and did this. I would think if you want to go do it, to do it. I don't have any moral or lack of dignity or I think less of Barb because she went and did this. I would think if you want to go do it, it's fine. I don't have any issue. It's what it's for. And as a matter of fact, there's an extra 600 a week or whatever it is coming from the feds on top of that for unemployment right now. And so if you qualify locally for that, but it is for two weeks. So it's not like this is going to go on for months

so that that's good news for you guys and um if your guys are in indiana or anything like they are around here in tennessee some of these people need a haircut so i'm gonna say if you're a hairdresser right now this has to be a nightmare for you we're gonna be lined up around the block when you reopen though i look like ron burgundy right. My hair is just growing and growing. A bad televangelist. I just feel like I've got a helmet on top of my head all the time now. That's so great. It's one of the beautiful things about my life.

Sam's Clippers, baby. I'm done in about a minute and a half, three or four times a week, and it just stays exactly like this all the time. Barb, the world needs you is what I'm saying absolutely you are essential um just look at john i've seen you know we know you're essential debbie debbie help us help us debbie get us out of this in new york how are you hi dave thanks for taking my call sure absolutely love your show thank you what's up um as part of my divorce settlement a couple years ago, I get a distribution from my ex-husband for our business that is worth a significant amount. The payment is over the next, well, it's been over the next 12, 13 years, and it will come to approximately a little over $2 million. That's if it happens.

You know, there's been some issues with payments here and there, but so far so good. We're getting there. My question is, right now I have about $570,000 in savings. I have a mortgage on my house for about $180,000. My income from my job is $50,000. I do have some money set aside for my daughter in college, $30,000. And then I have an additional $30,000 for just added expenses that I have, you know, that my salary doesn't cover, that I put $30,000 aside for if I need it, I just tap into it for whatever expenses. Gotcha. My question to you is, what should I do with this $570,000 that I have saved? Okay.

Should I pay off my house? Yeah. How old are you? I am 40. How long has the divorce been final? Five years. How long has the divorce been final? Five years. How long have you owned the house? I had to refinance the house and take out a new mortgage five years ago at the end of the divorce. Oh, so it was the home you were in prior to the divorce?

Yes. Do you see yourself staying there for a while? Yes, I do. I'd pay it off tomorrow. Okay. Yeah. I mean, my interest is 3.75. Yeah.

I don't care. I don't care. I'd be debt free. You don't have a house payment in the world. You got peace. Right. And then you can start investing, and what it takes you to live per month just went way down. Right.

And so there's all this gyration back and forth between one account to the other to keep things afloat above your 50k you don't need to do i'll float another idea um nothing nothing no big deal either way it's just an idea um if you offered your husband a discount ex-husband a discount to pay you in a lump sum he might scratch up the money and you might be in a much better place emotionally if you weren't having to live in the middle of all this all the time in other words if i were you i would take a million two now rather than two million in um 10 years over 10 years that's a proper discount, by the way. Million two, million four, something like that. And I would invest that, and I would shake the dust off my feet and move on with my life.

There's a value to cleanliness, a value to clarity, a value to a clean break that supersedes money. And I still hear pain in your voice. Still hear pain. I know you're hurting. I'm sorry. John Deloney, thanks for stopping by. Thanks for letting me hang out. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. In the middle of these uncertain times, Ramsey Solutions wants to give you some hope. For the very first time ever, we're giving you Financial Peace University free for 14 days.

Go to DaveRamsey.com slash hope so you can watch from home.