The Ramsey Show - App - Behavior Is A Language, And He's Lying To You (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, and joined by best-selling author, Dr. John Deloney. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You call us, and we'll help you take the right next step for your life, your relationships, your emotional health, and, of course, your money. Amber's going to kick us off this hour in Denver, Colorado.

Amber, welcome to The Ramsey Show. How can we be of service? Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's going on? I'm kind of nervous. That's all right. Take your time.

My husband and I are in baby step number two. I just recently, like two months ago, started listening to you guys, and then I just kind of told my husband, here's what I'm going to do and here's why. I do the budget in our house. He just trusts me to do everything and he just kind of lets me do it. But now I'm throwing all of our extra money at our debt. So we have nothing left, you know, like to do fun stuff with. And he says that he's on board and he understands why I'm doing it. But then like every weekend,

it seems like he's like, well, we have no money and I work so much and I'm working for, where's all my money going? And so I just, I don't, I kind of wrote down the baby steps for him and tried to explain it. And I just don't know how else to, he says he's on board but then again it seems like he's not. Yeah, he's not. He's not. Is your husband kind of a brat? Or are you kind of the dictator in the house? Both? I mean, I guess, I don't think he's a brat. The dictator in the house.

Both? I mean, I guess. I don't think he's a brat. Was mama gets what mama wants? Is that the kind of house? Or is it, no, I'm trying, and your husband's just kind of a whiny baby? I think he just feels like he works 52 hours a week. And so I think he just feels like he works so much, and he's not seeing where it's going.

Okay. But he knows it's going to debt. He knows because I tell him yes. But that's not enough for him. Even though he said, well, babe, I trust you, so you just do what you want until it affects my life. Exactly. And all of a sudden I have opinions. Until I get poopy pants and then I'm going to throw my little temper tantrum.

Here's the deal most of the time we hear this call um when people go at some at their at their spouse with a plan it almost always fails i got this plan we're going to do this thing and it's going to cost you your truck or your minivan or your suburban or your fun time but we're doing this plan that almost never. What does seem to work time and time again is I'm so scared I can't breathe in this house. We owe this much money. And if we want to have a family, if we want to go do these things, if you want to retire someday, if something were to happen to you, I can't breathe. Can we follow this crazy plan with these crazy group of people out of Nashville, Tennessee? It's millions of people had done it and it's going to suck for

two or three years. Can we hold hands and do this together? That's been the way we've seen it work. Two people have to be on the same page and commit to, yeah, it's going to be a lot of Saturdays where we're staring off into space. We're going fishing with worms we dug with our with our own hands um or if you're george you're just you're just gonna use that same vape cartridge over and over and over again right even though it's empty i just threw up in my mouth you just got it like but you see what i'm saying like that's how you get each other on the same page it's a shared common vision it's not just another it's not just another tupperware plan or an Avon plan or an essential oils plan. This is like a life change. Does that ring a bell? Yeah. I mean, I did kind of explain that to him

in that way, just not in those exact words. And when I tell him, he does say he gets it and he's on board. It's just, he does some kind of- He's saying that with his mouth, but he needs to show it with his actions, his attitude, his behavior that he's on board. It's just he does some kind of... He's saying that with his mouth, but he needs to show it with his actions, his attitude, his behavior that he's all in. Have you sat down with him and said, hey, we're three weeks into this or four weeks into this or two months in. And every time you say that on the weekends,

it makes me just want to quit because I don't want to be the person all by myself trying to hold this thing together. Have you said that to him? I mean, I told him it makes me feel guilty because a lot of the debt is my student loan. Okay. It's not his and he makes more money than me. And then I feel like, I feel guilty. Like I'm taking all his money. No, he signed up to marry you, hon. For better or for worse. And how much he makes versus you make has nothing to do with

it. If you stay at home today and produce zero income for the family, you still get just as much as a vote. And if that's how he's... I don't know. It sounds like you've put that on yourself. That he makes more money, therefore he can do what he wants and he can have his attitude. But it sounds like you guys have not been on the same page

since you've been married. Is that fair to say? I mean, I don't know. How long have you been married for? I know, I know. Hey, Amber, stop saying that, okay? You keep saying he's saying it, but he's not doing it. He's saying it.

Behavior is a language. What is he saying every Saturday when he gets after you for not having any money, for spending his money? Oh, my gosh, I worked too hard for not. What's he telling you? He's telling you, I don't care what I agree to. I'm going to make you feel bad for my discomfort, my short-term discomfort. Even though you're trying to save the family, I'm making you do it all by yourself. I'm going to make you feel bad. That's what he's saying with his actions.

And it's fair for you to say, stop hurting me like that. Quit. We agreed on this. I don't want to hear you complain about it all weekend. And you have to stop carrying around this, I'm less than, I'm inferior. I feel guilty. Y'all both signed up for this deal, this ride together. How much debt did you bring into the marriage? I have two student loans. One of them is $32,000 and one of them is now $18,000, but it was at $25,000. Okay, so $50,000. And then how much did he bring in? He didn't bring in any, but then as we got married, we bought a car and he got a motorcycle.

Okay. So what's your total debt profile right now? About $90,000. Okay. What can you sell tomorrow? I don't know. The motorcycle? I haven't sold a lot. The motorcycle?

We won't let that happen. Do what? He won't sell his motorcycle. Do you own it outright or has it got payments on it? We just owe $4,000. Just? This is how we get here. Well, it's just $4,000. Just? This is how we get here. Well, it's just $4,000.

It's just a student loan. It's just a credit card. Is it your next lowest debt? It is the lowest debt. It will take us two months, and it will be paid off. Okay. Will you breathe after that, after his precious little motorcycle

that's more important to him than his wife's sanity? Will you be able to breathe after you get that motorcycle, safe and secure? I don't know. Okay. You just have the voice as though you've been dragging this thing

all by yourself. How much money do you all make together? About $80,000. Okay. You got more debt than you do income this is a problem we need more shovel would if i gave you financial peace university would he agree to go through it and watch all nine lessons with you i just think he would done i'm gonna give it to you anyways but you need him

on the page i'm gonna give you the every dollar app, so y'all can be on the same page with all of your daily, your spending every day and every month. You threw Ramsey at him. Now we need to walk with him and show him the journey instead of Dave being a cuss word in the house. I think that will change things. You went to the mountaintop, found the 10 commandments, brought it back down, and all of a sudden he got a list of rules. We need to change that narrative. Hope it helps. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system

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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. You've heard us mention EveryDollar on the show, and that is our budgeting app that we created to help you make the most of your money. And you know, if you've heard the show, your greatest wealth building tool of your income, how do you control that income? Well, you got to do a budget. And it makes it real simple to plan your spending, track expenses, and save for what matters most to you, all in an easy-to-use app. And you can download it on the App Store for free or Google Play today. I would highly, highly recommend it. Thomas is up next in Fort Collins, Colorado. What's going on, Thomas?

Hi, thanks for having me. Sure. I'm Colin. I'm currently a college student at CSU. I'm 20 years old, and starting in August, my college fund will be running out, and I'm going to be having to be paying everything out of pocket. Currently, I pay for about half of my expenses. My current rent, along with my tuition, is paid for from this college account.

But starting again in August, that will be completely gone. So I'll be adding around $800 to $900 a month in expenses for me, not including cost of school. And I was wondering what I should do to plan for those extra expenses. Who was paying? You said this was all coming from the college account? Is family helping out at all? Yes, so this college account was set up by my parents.

I was fortunate enough where they say they're a large sum of money. However, it's not enough to fully cover four years of college. Okay, and they knew that going in? Did they have a conversation saying, hey, when this money runs out, here's the plan? Or was it just be with God, good luck? Yes. It's, you know, we've not really talked much about it.

I know the expenses are on me. You know, they just don't have the money to throw at college for me. Okay, so they're unable to help at all. This is all going to be on you, and you want to avoid taking out loans. Where do you work, dude? So that's another point. So currently I work for myself. I do coins and precious metals sales.

Do you make any money? I do. I make around $15,000 a year at the moment. Okay. But I am raised, I mean, that's my pace averaging out this year. I am increasing my average sales week over week, basically. How much time are you putting into that? It depends.

So I directly in sales, I do around eight hours a week. Then that's another around six hours a week in shipping time, as well as another probably six to eight hours in inventory sourcing. You're talking like 22 hours a week? Yep. For $15,000 a year? Yeah, but the advantage for me is I work odd hours because it's myself. And so the times that I work normally are at night.

Well, here's the deal, Thomas. This is a hobby. And it's probably a hobby that you love and it's cool, but it's not a job. You've got to go get some job where you can make some money. You're about to lose your ability to go to college. Yeah. No, that's my question was, do I ramp up this summer or just go and get a full-time job over the summer to start building a nest egg as well before getting back into the school year where I can't work as much.

I was able to work full-time and have a family and go to school full-time as a doctoral student. I think you can figure it out, especially your senior year. Unless, are you an engineering student? No, I was, but I switched out of it. Okay. What's your major now? I'm in business. Undecided between accounting or finance. Yeah, you can work. You can work like mad. And if you get a job in accounting or finance adjacent, you can make some good money and do something close to or next door to what your major is going to be. When you graduate, and you'll kill three birds with one stone. You'll make some money.

You might even get some internship hours out of it. And you're going to have something to put on a resume for somebody to hire you one day. But yeah, I would put this thing on the hobby burner and go get some real jobs, make it some real money. Based on the math, you're making about 14, 15 bucks an hour doing this on a good week, a good month. And so if you can find something making 18 or 20 out there, that's great. If you can somehow scale up this business and make the same or more with less time, that's a different ballgame. Yeah, so basically my pace, as I said,

was 15,000 averaging out. Over the past two months or so, I have basically doubled in scale where I basically make around 10% profit margins. But you can't put more time into it. You can't be spending 30 hours a week doing this. Correct. And so that's the thing to figure out.

And I'm not having more time. Okay. What's school going to cost per month? You said 800 a month for rent. What about school per month in order to cash flow? Sorry, as in like student loans for that? To avoid loans, how much extra do you need per month? Too much.

Tuition is around $20,000 a semester. So what's your plan? To take out student loans for college, but I'm basically just trying to avoid any other loans. It's $20,000 a semester? What are you talking about? More like $16,000 a semester. Are you out of state?

I am out of state yes so why CSU? just to get a general you're not even sure what you want to do maybe finance, maybe accounting you know I had initially picked here for engineering and I switched my major as

but what's holding you at this college versus just hey I'm going to I initially picked here for engineering, and I switched my major as, you know, I just didn't. But what's holding you at this college versus just, hey, I'm going to take a pause. I'm going to go work. I'm going to save up some money. I'm going to finish at another in-state school or whatever and find a cheaper option. Yeah. I don't think it's worth dropping another 40K a year to finish this degree. Where's home, dude?

New Jersey, but not for long. My parents are moving out of the country. Okay. That's where my kind of predicament is. Here's the thing. Here's the challenge you've left yourself. This was a math problem three years ago, and you knew this math problem was going to be on you. And now it problem three years ago, and you knew this math

problem was going to be on you. And now it's two months away, and you're going, I'm going to be broke. Yep. So what was the game plan to cover the next three years of school? At the time, I was not aware. Expenses came up, and I thought that there was going to be more money than there was, kind of a miscommunication did you blow through the money was it supposed to get you through more than more time it was not no um there was supposed to be more I I thought I was under the impression that there was more money than there was so you didn't have the conversation with your parents to go yeah I didn't have the you know we did but we didn't so here's the conversation I want you to have I've never

tried this I don't know if it'll work but I want't. So here's the conversation I want you to have. I've never tried this. I don't know if it'll work, but I want you to give it a shot, okay? I want you to go down to the admissions office and or to your, like, to the, yeah, go down to the admissions office and ask and let them know I'm going to have to withdraw from campus. And they'll probably have some campus program for you, some kind of student success program for students who are going to withdraw from campus and they'll probably have some campus program for you some kind of student success program for students who are going to withdraw and tell them i'm going to have to withdraw for financial reasons unless i can get this move to in-state tuition and if it's in-state tuition then i can work like bananas and i can pay this thing as we go otherwise i have to leave and here's the here's the thing i'm wondering if you drop out if you leave for a year and you've established residency in Colorado, can you turn around and come back the next year and get in-state tuition? And if so,

do what? Uh, I need, I need two years for it to be in-state tuition. Um, and my problem has been then I haven't changed my residency to Colorado early enough. How many more years do you need? I would need another full year, which I guess to your point would work. Yes. So ask them because they can flip a switch and move it from out of state to in state. They can do that. Yep.

Okay? Yeah. I would go sit down with them and say, my parents are leaving the country, and I'm about to be in a mess. If I can stay and graduate, which is a big deal to them. They need students to graduate because the graduate rates are dismal. And just use and see. And maybe you'll get lucky. Maybe not.

Maybe they'll tell you, dude, you've got a 2.1. You don't want to be here. We can tell you don't really care. And they're not going to help you out. But maybe you'll get lucky. But, dude, don't take out loans for a 2.1 you don't want to be here we can tell you don't really care and they're not gonna help you out but maybe you'll get lucky but dude don't take out loans for a degree you don't even know if you want it or not or where you're going or where you're headed don't do that man hang on the line thomas we're going to send you ken's new book find the work you're wired to do with the get clear career assessment to help you make the right choice and i'll also send you my book

breaking free from broke specifically read the student loans chapter to fully understand the gravity of the situation and what could end up on the other side. Hang in the line. We'll send you those two books. Wishing you the best. This is The Ramsey Show. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right. So I was born and raised in Texas, and I love the myth of the lone cowboy. You know, the guy who doesn't need anyone or anything. It's a fun story, and it's a lie. In our self-obsessed society, we're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social media feeds, everything. It's easy to forget that no one can do life alone. And I don't care if you're an introvert, an extrovert, or whatever you want to call yourself, we all have to have a community and a support system to do life with. It's time to shift the

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Open phones at 888-825-5225. Kevin is up next in Colorado Springs. Kevin, welcome to the show. Hey, thank you. I really appreciate that. Sure. How can John and I help? Yeah, so I've only been watching and listening to you guys on YouTube and the live show occasionally for the past three weeks.

Welcome to the gang, dude. Thanks. I know, yeah, I'm a little late, unfortunately, but I'm here and I'm ready to get some stuff done, but I'm kind of ran into, as we're doing baby steps one and prepping for baby step two, I ran into an issue with my truck. I know one of the steps is just sell everything. Um, and we've pretty much done that with the exception of my truck and my wife's vehicle. Unfortunately, we're upside down on my wife's vehicle because she got rear-ended and then a hellstorm, and we didn't have gap insurance. So we got her a new vehicle, and we were upside down on it.

But in my genius, seven months ago, I bought a brand new truck. Thinking like, oh, yeah, I deserve it, and we're fine. We got $3,000 extra a month left over, and now I have a truck that I can't sell because I don't think anyone's going to want to buy it specifically because why would they spend that amount of money on a truck that has 8,000 miles versus zero? You would be surprised. Yeah, you'd be surprised.

Really? Okay. What's the loan on it? I have $43,000 left. And what could you sell it for, a private party? I mean, $43,000 is what they're paying for like a brand new one, a 2023 model. I haven't looked at the 2024. Okay, so you might be able to get $41,000 for it? Yeah, and then there's the warranty that I could probably maybe convince someone to get, you know,

You might be able to get that refunded. Yeah, you might get it refunded. Yeah, yeah. Just fight them. So I might be able to break even on it. Okay. I do have a family vehicle I could borrow for a while. Perfect. Done. No buts. No buts. Done. Do it? What's your household income? I guess my concern

is no one wants to buy it. That's a fake concern. Just admit you don't want to get rid of the truck. It probably is awesome. You bought the truck. 8,000 miles is nothing. Yeah, 8,000 miles is basically new. It's good. Many people go for that barely used vehicle. That's a lot of people out there. Barely used. Barely used. And then with that extra money, so our mortgage is pretty clear, clean cut. We don't owe anything on the monthly payments because we

have a few family members living with us and we actually make $800 extra a month on top of our mortgage. Would you focus on my wife's upside down vehicle so we can sell that as well or focus on like IRS or our credit card debt. What's your household income? 117 a year. And what's your total consumer debt, not including mortgage? Not including mortgage, about 120. Bro, you make too much money to be this broke. Yeah, I agree. I thought I was of the, until three weeks ago when I found you guys, I was of the understanding that that's just something you do. You, you get debt, you, you fight for your credit score to be high. And I, you know, I totally bit the poison apple and just let it consume me. And now I'm trying to reverse all of that. You are broke, right? Not really. We have, by

estimates, because this is the first month, we have $3,000 extra left over a month after all our bills are paid. Okay, what if you had no bills? Yeah, we would have... And, by the way, if one of you gets fired or laid off, and if you've watched the news lately, layoffs are just coming in waves now.

Yeah. It's over. You've built a house of cards. I'm going to have to start a family eventually. Yeah, you have built a house of cards and you are hoping somebody doesn't fart in the living room, dude. Like, you're just so hopeful.

You're broke. Yeah. Until you internalize that, you're not going to be able to go through the pain of what George is going to walk you through because it's going to be painful to get out of debt. It's going to suck. You're going to be driving a family car,

making that kind of money. You're going to have a cool truck. Yeah, my wife and I are totally okay with it. I've already kind of shown her this. What else can you sell in this debt? Is it just her car, your truck, IRS debt? What else is in this pile? Nothing else. We've sold everything else. I've gotten rid of a ton. No, you have $120,000 in debt. So 43 of that is your truck. What else? Credit card. I would say credit cards, like we bought a new stove. Our stove went out. A new dishwasher, when it went out, because we bought the house. What's the credit card debt total? About $22,000. Okay, what else is in that $120,000? The IRS is about $27,000,

and then the other two large portions are the two vehicles. Okay, the $43,000 and then the rest is your wife's? What's left on her loan? Yes, about $32,000, and we're upside down by about $3,000. I'll sell that too, dude. Go to a credit wallet. It's only by $3,000? Do you have any money in the bank? We're at like $800 working towards

the... So you're bragging about the extra $3,000. Where is it all going? Bro, call me. Well, this is the first this is our first month. We're going to find out at the end of May exactly how much we have left, and all of it's going on something. Okay, scrape together the difference. And I'm trying to find out what is that step.

Scrape together the difference that you're underwater on in both of these vehicles, and then get rid of both. And if you need to save up a little more to get her a beater car, because you might have a hard time getting two family members to let you borrow cars, then do that and get her a beater car for now. That leaves you with the IRS debt and the credit cards. You're going to do the IRS debt first. That goes to the top of the debt snowball.

Look out for your soul, brother. Okay, okay. So you're going to tackle the IRS debt. Then that'll leave you with all the different credit cards. And you're going to tackle those smallest to largest balance. And by then you will have freed up the truck payment, the car payment, the IRS payment, which means you're going to get a lot of steam and momentum on that final debt. Yeah, we were going to do credit card debt first because our IRS payment is like 200 bucks

a month. It's not much. And we were going to get rid of the credit card debt first because our assumption is we'll be done with that in eight to nine months. And that'll free up 2000 extra dollars. Now's not the time to do math. Bro, has your plan worked? Just be honest. No, because I didn't really have one. Exactly. The other plan was the regular plan. We tell you this not out of arrogance, but because we've seen thousands of people,

10 million people have followed this plan, and we've got to witness the stories. And the debt snowball is the best way to do it, and it's going to take scorched earth and sacrifice. And right now, you're sitting on about 80 grand in cars and depreciating assets. Yep. Yeah, absolutely. So we are done living La Vida Loca. We're going to sell everything and it's going to be a year or two or three of hard sacrifice, but you have a great income. You guys make 117 grand. So once you sell these cars, it's going to just go zoom, zoom, and you're going to be debt free probably within a year if you buckle down. How much of a loss would you take

on the vehicle? As much as you need to. Because dude, let's say you take a $10,000 loss. You have 80 something thousand dollars wrapped up in cars and now you're down to only owing $10,000. You win. You just knocked off $70,000 in depreciating asset debt. Okay. And it's only going to get worse over time the longer you keep it. So the goal is you want to sell it for as much as you can. Do not go to the dealership and trade it in because they'll be happy to screw you on another deal. Absolutely. So sell it for private party. You can check the Kelley Blue Book value, clean it up nice, take good photos, do your due diligence there. But you don't need to take a giant loss.

From what you told me, you're only a few thousand bucks underwater on each of these. Yeah, that's about it. Yeah. And make an extra $3,000 a month, you're going to be ready to do this deal within two months. Okay. And then George has on his... That's what I was looking for. Like, put some of that on the trucks and the vehicles to get a little less underwater.

Get rid of them, and then everything goes to IRS. You can't sell the car until you clear the loan, and because you're underwater, you need to come up with a difference. I would rather you go to a credit union and take out a $5,000 loan at a credit union to get rid of the cars. To get rid of $80,000 in loans, and you're going to go down to $5,000. Okay, all right. I never heard that before. I know. It's the only time we're okay with you going, quote, into debt, because you're really

able to get rid of so much debt. Hang on the line, dude. We're going to hook you up with Financial Peace University. You sound like a good guy, dude. I know you work your butt off, and it sounds like you're just doing the next thing, the next thing and the next thing, and all of a sudden you're underwater. We're going to send you FPU, but you and your wife have to go through this class together. You got to promise me you're going to use it.

We're also going to send you the best budgeting app on planet Earth for a year for free. It's the EveryDollar app, but you got to use it, and y'all are going to be free faster than you know it. Thanks for the call, man. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Dr. John Deloney. Our scripture of the day, 1 John 3.18, Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. Aldous Huxley once said, facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Interesting. Go back to that Bible verse real quick. Put that up there, that scripture verse. That's 1 John 3, 18. Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth. Yeah, this is the original way of behaviors of language, man. That's true.

If you want to say what you're going to say. The OG right here. That's it, man. I love it. It's one of my favorites. It's all about the action. Just stop talking and go serve your neighbor. Show me.

Don't tell me. Stop talking. Go serve the widow, dude. If you're this or that, shut your mouth and go do the next right thing. It's just so good. That's a good principle to live by right there. I love it. All right, let's go to the lines.

Brittany is in Kansas City up next. Brittany, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely. My question is quite layered, but to make it as simplistic as possible, how do I go about not being so responsible for the taxes and upkeep on inherited property? Who's involved here? Very long story short, my grandfather passed in November, and he's pretty wealthy.

He made my sister and I 50-50 heirs on his liquid, stocks, bonds, and his house. The three properties that are undeveloped would be owned by me, my sister, and my uncles. How many uncles? Two. Okay. So there's three properties that are split between four of you, and then the stocks, bonds, and house is split between two of you, your sister and yourself. All correct, except one of the properties is just me and my sister. Okay. All right. And so you're paying these property taxes and you're saying, I don't want to pay this. Are you paying these on your own? Well, he just passed in November. So luckily this year, the state was able to pay for the taxes. Okay. But at the reading of the will, I had stated that I cannot be the sole person paying for

the upkeep. Well, your sister's the other person on the, she's on the deed. My sister's on the house and my uncles and my sister are on the property. But you're paying property taxes on all of it? I will come, what, next year? But that's, is that anywhere actually in the legal document? I'm not, I'm not sure. Or did they, why did your family decide you're the person who's going to pay all this on your own?

And then they're not going to chip in? Well, it's kind of unspoken like i said it's kind of a long story but my grandfather always took care of the taxes and always like took care of my uncle and my sister's living expenses they they would make ten dollars and spend a hundred they've never been reliable on money they've never been reliable to pay bills well the beautiful thing now is you're not your granddad and you get to change that. No, and I told them that. I said, I don't make the income he ever made. Here's the deal. If they don't pay their share of property taxes,

then they don't get the house. Yeah, it gets repoed. It gets taken away. And so that's part of the deal here. And so could you just force the sale of all of these and have a conversation and say, listen, you guys are not in a financial position to actually manage this, and therefore we're going to sell it, everyone's going to get their piece, and we're going to be done with this. Is that a solution? I can, and my lawyer did bring that up, but they responded with, oh, well, this is three generations of inherited property. We can't

let it go. But they can't afford it. Here's the thing. It's going to go away. No, they can't. It's going to go away. Whether y'all sell it, you can get some money for it, or it's going to get taken from you. It's going to go away. Period. They can't afford it. And this is not

your job. But if they sell it, they would have to agree, right? You can force the sale of it. I mean, here's the thing. The more complicated it gets, the more expensive it's going to get for everyone. If you have to go to court for all of this. And so the best thing to do is everyone come to an agreement. The next best thing is mediation. Then if that doesn't work out, you'd have to go to the court system and go,

we got to figure all of this out and it's going to be messy. It'd be like a partition lawsuit on your hands. So it seems like at the end of the day, I'm still going to have to pay something, whether it's court fees or trying to buy them out. I think you need to show them what's going to happen if we don't make a decision as a group, instead of just going, hey, we're going to fight this tooth and nail. You say, we can't afford this. You guys can't afford this. I'm not paying the property taxes on my own, so we need to come to an agreement on what we're going to do,

on how we're going to sell, when we're going to sell, who's going to get what. And let me ask you this. How much is this property worth? The house I know was worth like $275,000. Okay. And the land, like the three properties of undeveloped land, I don't know. I have not gotten an estimate or anything like that. I want to ask you something crazy, okay?

And this is not going to make great fiscal sense, but I'm just doing this for your soul. Okay. Okay. You have, how much did all the stocks and cash and all the liquid assets, what did you get? What was that inheritance for you? A million. A million bucks?

A million. Okay. Yeah. What's the sole tax for you to sign this over to your nearest uncle and walk away from this house? You got a million dollars. Mm-hmm. And I don't want to lose my family.

I don't want to fight. It's going to come up to $275,000 plus some land. Maybe it's going to be $500,000 total, maybe $600,000 total divided up across all these different people. You know what? Merry Christmas, guys. I'm out. Y'all can figure it out.

It's going to get taken from them. You know that. We know that. But then you're not spending money on attorneys and all that different garbage i'm just walking away from it if i'm gonna have a million dollars in cash and i have the legacy of my granddad that i get to honor and at the same time i'm not going to continue his um funding of people who are just leeches off of him i'm'm not going to do that anymore. I feel like it's wrong.

I would take a hard look at walking away. You know, to be honest, immediately after he died, I had said that you all can take it, have it all. But then it was the whole, like you were saying, the emotional soul tie thing, and it's like, oh, well, not to make it a race thing, but, you know, we're a family of color and, you know, it's not really, you know,

popular for us to have three generations of land and we can't let this go. And I'm just sitting there like, well, you're basically telling me, you need to pay for this. And I just think that's so unfair. I agree with you a hundred percent. And I'm going to be honest with you. I'm heartbroken that your family is putting you in this position because it's not fair and it's not right, and it's not honoring your granddad's legacy. It's just not.

It's not. It's manipulative, and it's vindictive because you got the money and they didn't, and they should have got the money and not you, and they're mad so now that you're rich you get to pay for everything and i'm just sorry that they are dishonoring your granddad in this way i i appreciate that and i um me and my grandfather were extremely close and he said that you know throughout his lifetime they spent their inheritance there you go there's a reason he trusted you to manage more of this, and you need to honor that.

What an honorable thing. If I'm in your shoes, I would get a mediator, because right now it's you against the rest of your family, and you need that neutral third party to tell them the facts, and it can't be coming from you, because it clearly is not going to go well. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I would go that route before a lawsuit.

I'm proud of you, and I hate that you've been put in this position. Jeez. Thank you. Thank you both. Like I said, that route before a lawsuit. I'm proud of you, and I hate that you've been put in this position. Jeez. Thank you. Thank you both. Like I said, that was my immediate reaction was to just walk away from it all, and I hadn't revisited that until you all just said that. So I definitely will take a— Yeah, and sit with your lawyer.

I'm not saying it's the right thing. Maybe that land is worth millions and millions, and this is a terrible idea, but I'm just not going to cash in my soul over this. I'm just not. I'm just not because to cash in my soul over this. I'm just not. I'm just not because you're fighting people that have no scruples. You're fighting people that have no, they're not trying to honor anything

other than you give me mine. And they're inventing day by day. They're moving the finish line of what mine is. And you can't win that competition. And dude, I'm all about legacy land. I'm trying to buy some for my family. But also I can't control what happens three generations from now i can't and what's the end game here i mean what's the like you know 10 years from now what are we doing with all you know seven of you

involved in this process and who gets to decide what happens to land what gets built on it what it just feels like a messy thing and for that reason i would want out of this whether that's selling it or you just opting out maybe they buy you you out, but they're broke. So it's going to pose a problem. So it's not going to be fun. It's going to be messy. But I think mediation is the next best course of action before you make it even messier with lawsuits and more lawyers. But gosh, what a sad situation, Brittany. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. Thank you to Dr. John Deloney, all the folks in the booth keeping the show afloat, and you, America. Thanks for listening.

We'll be back before you next time.