The Ramsey Show - App - Can I Afford To Buy a Tesla? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

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and Friday on YouTube, anywhere you listen to podcasts as well. His book, best-selling book, is called Redefining Anxiety. And I'm working on a new book now that will come out next year. We'll tell you more about all of that. So be sure you check it out. If you want to participate in his show, it's all about relationships and mental health and anxiety and boundaries and crazy people in your family and all that kind of stuff. Or maybe you're the crazy person in your family. I don't know.

All that kind of stuff. Crazy bosses. Whoa. Oh, careful your family. I don't know. All that kind of stuff. Crazy bosses. Whoa. Careful. Careful. It's about boundaries, too. Boundaries. It's about decorum.

What to do when you're unemployed. Right. How to spend your unemployment money. It's a hostile work environment, John. How to pack your office. John, it's a hostile work environment. I'm just warning you. Okay.

Just ahead of time. You need to know these things uh you can email john at ask john at ramsey solutions.com for god's sakes get on that show because uh he needs some callers no he has a ton we're good man poor kelly poor kelly leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 if you want to talk to john but by the way you could talk to him here today and91 if you want to talk to John. But, by the way, you can talk to him here today. And if you get through, the phone number is 888-825-5225. Hope is with us in Midland, Texas. Hi, Hope.

How are you? Hi. How are you guys doing today? Better than we deserve. What's up? Well, first off, I just want to say what a pleasure it was to see both of you at summit uh this year in dallas that was very enjoyable thank you thank you for coming it was a great event we had a lot of fun it was great um my question today actually um just a background um my husband and I together started our own business 13 years ago.

And it's just over the last four or five years, it's gone downhill. He and I have a lot of issues with communicating far as strategy, how to go about the operation of the business and get it going. So I guess my question is what kind of advice you might would have relationship as well as just keeping our business afloat and moving it forward when we're not on the same page at all. How's your marriage? Suffering because of it. Is it the chicken or the egg? Are they self-reinforcing one another? My guess is things were tough at home and they become tough in the office and they become

tougher at home and the thing just spins faster and faster. Have you guys stepped away from everything and gone over to Dallas for a weekend just to say, hey, what in the world's going on? Or has this thing just started spinning so fast and all of a sudden you look up and it's a year or two later and you're not talking anymore? It just kind of spun and yeah, like you said said two or three years later now things are just so totally out of control and if we were talking to him would he say there's a problem too oh yes okay yes yeah this is one of those moments that can it can be a a really

important it's going to be an important moment either way but it can be um something not to be feared it can be a beautiful moment when those redefining rebuilding excavation start over rebuilding moments but it's got to have to happen somebody's got to turn the lights off i mean turn the lights on turn the music off take an inventory of the party you've been having and saying hey where are we what's going on and um i love it when couples can look each other in the eye and say hey we need to do this and have this moment this we need to take a post-mortem on what's happened and decide where we're going to go but somebody's got to just say stop for a second yeah you guys need you guys need a good marriage counselor in your corner asap yeah to start with and just the business will

not heal until your marriage does right we We have done marriage counseling literally about a year and a half ago. Apparently you didn't do it well. Apparently not. Why didn't it go well? Why didn't it go well? He kind of just checks out. We've even done business coaching and, you know, two different counselors. A business coach literally fired us a year and a half ago or two years ago because he wouldn't participate.

We were in coaching for 15 months and he just wouldn't do his part of it. He wouldn't schedule for our weekly sessions, things like that. He just checks out and doesn't even give a reason, just checks out and doesn't do it. And it was kind of the same way in our marriage counseling. I mean, he attended because we went together, but he would just kind of clam up, and nothing really was being said from his point.

And he did tell me he didn't like the counselor, the marriage counselor, that he didn't like him, he didn't trust him or something. And it just didn't go anywhere. And literally since that time, we've just kind of quit talking, literally. So your relationship, if you stop and step out of it for a minute, it's on life support.

Yes. And I would say you're in an emergency status. And it sounds like you've got a guy that is unable to say, hey, I'm done with this thing. Is unable, doesn't, and I don't want to blame him, doesn't have the tools or is a coward or whatever you want to say. But he's unable to say I'm through with this thing and he's going to slowly suffocate it. And somebody's got to turn all the lights on in that house and send the kids away for a weekend and say we've got to take an inventory. Because what he's communicating to you is he is finished and he doesn't have the courage to say he's done

or he's scared of you or he doesn't want to be in this business anymore and he doesn't know how to say it out loud. Somehow, he is slowly pulling this thing underwater. Counseling, we call it the one down position, but he's drowning the house slowly, but surely. And usually, your role in this is to try to keep yanking as hard as you can the other direction,

and it just creates this tension that ends up sinking the boat anyway. So you got to just stop stop the music and say are you done with this marriage i'm not going to continue to participate in crazy the way it exists no i'm going to say we're going to do something different now do you want to work on this and heal it if you do that involves you finding a counselor that you trust, that we can sit down with, and that you're willing to open up in front of and thus to get this stuff fixed. Otherwise, it's just going to continue to deteriorate. This is not working.

You know, continuing to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. And, you know, if you're seeking outside direction and you're not taking the direction from outside, that's him, there has to be a reason. Yeah. And I can buy. I've sat down with people that I didn't trust, and I'm not going to open up in front of them. Absolutely. I'm not doing that.

I can buy that as a reason. But the answer is not nothing then. The answer is go find a different counselor. Right. Go find one you can do it. And he's communicating to you, if he won't find another counselor, that's a communication to you that I'm done. I'm through with this. Or he just doesn't have the tools to work this through, whatever it is.

But, yeah, you've got to have somebody in your corner at least guiding you through these tough discussions that you have got to have immediately. The business has not got a chance until the marriage does. Imagine a world where people never have to worry about money ever again. At Ramsey Solutions, our mission is to teach people how to get out of debt and build lasting wealth and if that means we have to take on the toxic money culture that says you need debt to get ahead then we're okay with that we've seen millions of lives changed and we will continue to create digital products and services to help people transform their lives if you want to join our thousand member team on this crusade we're currently on the hunt for software engineers with expertise in Ruby on Rails,

Java, C Sharp, and front-end technologies. Or if you're a UX designer or an SEO and content marketing specialist, we'd love to talk with you. Together, we will disrupt the toxic money culture in America. Find out about all the available jobs by texting careers to 33789. Text careers to 33789 to find out about all our open opportunities. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. All right, John, you are a Ph.D. in counseling, and you've done a lot of trauma work,

and you've done a lot of work with couples over the years as well. If you were just going to – you may know some research off the top of your head to answer this but you may also have just an anecdotal feel for it um when a spouse for uh virtually for for no obvious reason that's on the surface that's in front of us turns away repeated counseling and stonewalls in counseling, what percentage of the time is there a third party involved in an affair? I don't have any data, but that's my first.

That's my number one question I always ask somebody. Are you seeing somebody else? Are you done? Right. Have you moved on? If they're saying, I don't want to work on this, or they sabotage all the counseling by not showing up or by showing up physically but not emotionally, not relationally and so on, they're not engaged in the repair. Right. That will be one of the first questions I ask, if not the first, is are you seeing somebody else are you through with this this interaction here are you done with this

person it it's like going to the doctor and the doctor says let me do a checkup on you and you just say no i'm good and they say well here's some medicine i'm good like at some point you are deciding to not be a part of the solution here and i want to know why but yeah but i'm i'm trying to think of otherwise the only other only other why that comes to mind is somebody has such they grew up in a family that's so maligned counseling that's for losers or idiots or psychopaths or crazies and you don't need to go to counseling that's shrink that's for yeah head shrinker yeah it's for losers maybe the the sense of failure is so great. Or, man, if I can't say the right thing to make my wife okay,

I feel like, I mean, that makes me feel like a loser, right? I get that. And so it could be something, the shame is so heavy, but I want to rattle that cage and I'm going to ask, are you cheating on me? Are you seeing somebody else? Right. I just can't think of a reason other than those two reasons why somebody would.

It comes up. I mean, again, I'm not in that world, but I end up in that world too often. Yeah. Because the money piece. You are in that world. The money piece ends up on the marriage plate. The marriage piece ends up on the money plate. And so I end up, you know, this guy is completely disconnected.

This gal is completely disconnected. I can't get them to engage in anything on the money stuff. And I'm like, they're not staying. Right. For some reason or another, they're not staying. And sometimes when the person calls and asks that question, Dave, we all have friends like this. My wife's crazy. My wife's crazy.

My wife's crazy. And you talk to your wife and you go, no, brother, you are. Right. And so it could be that this is round 10 of some thing that she wants to fix, and he's like, I'm not doing another one of your schemes because you won't participate. So we always get one side on the show. That's true. So I'm not saying that happened with her or him necessarily in that case.

Oh, that last call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it just made me wonder during the commercial break from your perspective because you've got a lot more professional insight than I do on it. Mine's just an old guy hanging around with a whole bunch of hurting people for a lot of years, and it just gives me a sense of these things. What do you think? I would say north of 50%. Yeah.

I'm just a wet finger in the air, though. I have nothing to base it on. Just because I can't. And it might be that they gave up on the situation and then went and got the affair rather than the affair caused them to give up on the situation. I don't know which one that is, but they're gone. They just hadn't left yet.

That's right. And some people don't have the tools. I don't know how to end a marriage. I don't know how to break up. I don't want to be the one that's the bad guy. Breaking up is hard to do. Yeah, there you go. I'm just going to just gonna drown this thing right slowly but surely suffocated and then by the way on the way down i'm gonna make you feel crazy gaslight yeah yeah so who

knows but i i just don't understand again we're not saying that's the last caller no no i just it just made me question and made me wonder i, and I wanted to ask you in front of everybody else. Kenzie is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi, Kenzie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hey, what's up? Well, my question today, I'm going to try to explain this as fast as I can, is I recently got engaged in April. Um, we, before I met my fiance, he had purchased land. Um, he has 40 acres

and I was renting. Um, so I have a rental. Um, our question or my question is we're trying to figure out, we're getting married next year in July. Um, what we're trying to figure out, do we build a house on the 40 acres together? Do we find a trailer house to throw out there, or do we rent the house together until either the land is paid off or I am out of debt? Either the land, I'm sorry, the land is paid off and you're out of debt? What did you say? Yes. So he still owes money on the land. I'm on baby step two.

And so when we get married. Okay. You should rent until you get out of debt. Okay. And you should not buy a trailer because trailers go down in value. Those two things are easy. Then the only question is, are we going to build on this 40 acres after you're out of debt? Right.

That's the only question remaining. Do you want to live on the 40 acres? I kind of hear in your voice you don't. Yeah. No, actually, I really do like where it lives. We're just trying to figure out, do we find somewhere else to live and buy a house, or do we build? Why would you build somewhere else if you want to live on the 40 acres? I don't know.

I don't either. We would just probably build on the 40 acres. You need to be debt-free, other than the acreage. You guys need to be clear of that, and you need to be married. Now, I also would tell you that building a house is a large and complicated project for a brand-new marriage to undertake. It makes a 25-year marriage have some world-class fights. A 25-day marriage, whoo, you are putting it at risk. Because, I mean, you can kill each other over freaking curtains.

Okay. Thank you, Dave. So you need to be real careful. I'm not sure I would say, hey, the smartest thing you can do right after you get married is build a house together. As a matter of fact, I can say that's going to put an extra strain on a very young and tender marriage. And I probably wouldn't recommend it, but not to the point I tell you not to do it. But it's just you're asking for trouble, and you better be watching for trouble because he's going to knock on your door while you're doing this.

John? Yeah, and by the way, in a year when you're married, your debt is y'all's debt. And that acreage debt is y'all's debt, right? Yes. This is something y'all are going to put in this order, in the snowball order, and you're going to pay it off to get it there. Yeah, work your way right through the whole thing. Very good.

Jeremy's in Detroit. Hey, Jeremy, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Well, thanks a lot for taking my call. Sure. So my wife and I have been angsting over a car purchase for a little bit, and we kind of want to see what you think. How much money do you have? Right now we've got a 25K emergency fund, 80K liquid investments,

60K in our kids' college fund. Great. What are you talking about spending on the car? I would like a Tesla Model 3 Performance. It's a $65,000 car. Is that a used car? No, this would be new. Or do you have a million-dollar net worth?

$1.8 yep okay um and what's your household income so i make 196k a year by the car like six by the car pretty easy huh well you have the money you have the money it's a small percentage of your income you have a net worth of $2 million. This is a $65,000 car. Okay. You're not buying a $250,000 Lamborghini. No, maybe in another decade or two. Well, maybe in a couple million in net worth. Because you want your rolling stock, anything with wheels and motors,

totaled up to be less than half your annual income, and it is. Yeah, even with that, I've got bonuses and other stuff. And you obviously need to pay cash for it because you called Dave freaking Ramsey, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it would come out of the liquid. And you don't buy a new car unless you have over a million-dollar net worth, and you do. Ta-da, you got a Tesla. Congratulations.

You don't get a lot of people calling Dave for permission to buy a Tesla and him saying, go buy the car. So don't push your luck, brother. Go buy the Tesla. Quit asking questions and go buy the Tesla. It meets the guidelines. That's right. I don't tell people to not have a good life. I tell them to get themselves in a position that they do have a good life.

Get the Tesla. Get the Tesla. I guess. James, cut that. It is a Tesla, but there's that. This is the Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Scott and Diane are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Wonderful.

Welcome. Where do you guys live? In the St. Louis area, just across the river, Wood River, Illinois. Yeah, about 30 minutes north. Good to have you guys. Thanks. So, welcome, welcome, welcome. How much debt have you paid off?

$155,000. Yay. And how long did this take? Seven years, eight months. Okay, excellent. And your range of income during that time? $75,000 to $90,000 with a COVID backslide last year, about 30% cut last year. Woo!

That's a bite. Yeah. Ouch. Yes. And yet we still paid off the house. Wow! Look at that! Pay more!

House and everything! Yes. Completely free. Completely. Yes. How old are you guys? I'm 49. House and everything. Yes. Completely free. Completely. Yes. How old are you guys? I'm 49. She's.

I'm 52. All right. That's perfect. Your condition. I will not say that number. Exactly. I will. Yes.

Point and let her finish. Uh-huh. When we started dating, I was 18. He was 15. That works. Excellent, you guys. What's this house worth? About $225,000.

Excellent. Yep. Wow. You've been doing this stuff? About $225,000. Excellent. Wow, you've been doing this stuff for eight years. Well, longer than that. We actually started in 2010, and we were here in 2012 and signed the wall that's around the corner. Yeah. And paid off $36,172 then. Yeah. And then started Baby Step 3B.

So you were on the original debt-free wall that was beside the old studio. Yes. Right on the M. We cut the drywall out and moved it around, made it a display around the corner from the hallway. Have you found your old signature? Oh, yeah. That's cool. And that was 2012.

2012, yeah. So, gosh, almost 10 years ago. Yeah. Wow, you guys. This is amazing. How does it feel? It's still days. It's not real, you guys, this is amazing. How does it feel? It's still days. It's not real, you know, but it is so much more freedom.

And you didn't realize how heavy that burden was, you know, until you started making a plan to get rid of it. Yeah. And now it's gone. Have you had the first month where there's no mortgage payment? Yeah, we pay it off at the end of March. So we've had a couple months of no payments. And I'm the one that usually balances the checkbook, pays the bills, and it still doesn't feel... It just feels weird.

It doesn't feel right. It's like you missed something. Exactly. That's a lot of money on that side of the ledger, right? Yeah. Exactly. It's funny, when you've been carrying a bunch of weight for a long time, you put it down, your arm feels weird. It feels like you're still... It's like being on the boat all day and you get on land and it's still wobbly right yeah exactly that's that's interesting that's incredible you guys very well done what do you tell people the

key to getting out of debt is the key is is the budget that's absolutely we have not missed a budget since march 2010 yes and doing the budget together and coming up with the same goals and dreams and outlook and so those two things working together because we were both sort of with the same goals and dreams and outlook. And so those two things working together, because we were both sort of on the same page, but not totally. And so, you know, even if we're both going, sorry, this direction, you know, even if we were like this, then it recorrected us and got us going both the same direction with the same goals and dreams. So you've been working the baby steps all the time, putting the percent away oh yeah oh yeah so what are your investments looking like uh real

well uh when we started this you know back in 2010 our net worth was negative uh we are healthy six figures probably hopefully millionaire status the next three to four years yeah you should be there yeah should be there shortly yeah that's what i was thinking with that house paid off and everything yeah way to go, guys. Baby Steps Millionaires. Look at you. How do you keep doing this for seven years? That's a long time.

A couple things. As Diane said, we were focused together. And also, we have coordinated FPU 18 times. Whoa. So we have lots of accountability partners throughout our community. You can't let all those people down. No, no, no. So we probably have 600 to 700 people who have gone through it

that we've got as accountability partners. Yeah. That'll do it. Yeah. That'll do it. Well, and then also, I mean, just watching and re-watching FPU, and each time, you know,

there would be new things that I'm like, I don't remember him saying that before. And so, I mean, we still took notes. The 18th time. 18th time. Yes. 18th time. I don't know if I've notes the 18th time. 18th time. 18th time. I don't know if I watched it 18 times.

Wow. So all the jokes are still funny to me? I love it. They're so precious. Thank you. Are they? Thank you. I love you.

You're amazing. You're my kind of people. Yes. And it's still funny to me, but I laugh at everything. Yes. That's so great. That's so great. That's fun. Way to go laugh at everything. Yes. That's so great. That's so great. That's fun.

Way to go, you guys. Yes. We're so proud of you. Thank you. Congratulations. Well, we couldn't have done it without the pathway that you made for us. Thank you. And you walked it and ran it and ran it and walked it and stumbled and did it.

Yeah. Well done. Very, very well done. And put two kids through college during that, too. Yes. Oh, really? Yes. Wow. Yeah. No student loans. Oh, no. No student loans. Guys, you well done. And put two kids through college during that, too. Yes. Oh, really? Yes. Wow.

Yeah. No student loans. Oh, no. No student loans. Guys, you got a lead with that. That's great, too. That's bigger than paying off a mortgage. That's a couple of other houses you paid off.

Right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's a big deal. And so now you've launched two kids out in the world with no student loan debt. Yeah. And their parents have a fully paid-for house.

They're not going to have to put you guys in a retirement home and you've completely changed the legacy. A hundred percent. Absolutely. A hundred percent. Are they behaving? Oh yeah. Both of them are doing very well.

Yes. Our son's still at home. He has high functioning autism, so he'll probably stay with us for a little while, but he has had a job since he was 16 and is saving for his retirement, saving for his first house. And our daughter's out on her own and working for the same company that I worked for when she was a baby. Wow. And absolutely loves it. And she's been able to get an apartment with no credit score.

With no credit score. It can't be done. It can't be done. Is there anything we tell people to do that they have not done? This is amazing. She's bought a car. She bought two cars with cash. How do you do that?

It's the next generation. She's a financial piece, baby. You're screwing up a lot of people's excuses listening to this show. We're trying. All the excuses are gone now that you're here. No excuses. That's so fun. Well done.

Awesome, guys. Thank you. Well, we've got a copy of The Legacy Journey. You probably have one, but I'm going to give you another one. Thank you. I'll give you a copy of The Total Money Makeover. I know you You probably have one, but I'm going to give you another one. Thank you. I'll give you a copy of the Total Money Makeover. I know you had one of those, but I'm going to give you another one. And you can give both of them away to somebody and pay it forward.

That would be awesome. Absolutely. We're so proud of y'all. Thank you. Congratulations. Thanks for sharing your great story of just being heroes, just taking control of your life. Very, very well done. Thank you for the opportunity.

Scott and Dianne, St. Louis area, $155,000 paid off, seven years, eight months, making $75,000 to $90,000. House and everything. We're looking at weird people. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free. That is how it's done. Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo!

That is how it's done. That's so cool, man. Doesn't get any better than that. You know, this is Financial Peace University, 18 times? Wow, we're running a free trial on that right now with Ramsey Plus. 18 times. I guess during the free trial, if you just binge-watched it over and over, you could probably do it 18 times during the free trial on that right now with Ramsey Plus. 18 times. I guess during the free trial, if you just binge-watched it over and over, you could probably do it 18 times during the free trial, but you probably wouldn't get much else done

during that time. But yeah, and it includes the EveryDollar budgeting app, which wasn't there when they started. Nope. The lessons are certainly updated and polished and everything else since they started. But if you want to jump onto ramsey plus and get the free trial you can go through financial peace university uh you can be budgeting with every dollar during the free trial there's other classes there's community there's coaches there

uh because uh you could be scott and diane someday no house payment just think about it for a second no payments on their kids nothing everybody went Everybody went to school debt-free. Nothing. They did, like, every baby step. Man. Paid kids college. Did retirement. They're almost millionaires. Baby step millionaires on the way. They're still holding hands.

They still like each other. I don't even know what to... This is incredible. She did have to shake his hand loose to make that point. He's held on there pretty tight. Yeah. Yeah. That was great.

All right. Text TRIAL, and you can get a free trial to Ramsey Plus and go through Financial Peace University right now. Text TRIAL to 33-789. Text TRIAL to 33-789. you know it's uh we we lay these baby steps and all the nuances around them out and we talk about them because it's the framework by which we teach you to make decisions because it's how we're going to answer question here as well as far as a financial part of the question goes anyway relational question there's a whole different set of of rules that you'll get into but the uh or guidelines or principles that you'll get into, or guidelines or principles that you'll get into.

But that's what we envision when we talk this through, is that somebody that actually does it. Yeah. And if you actually do it, it works. Like years ago, we used to have a money-back guarantee. Everybody said, you ought to have a money-back guarantee. So I had a money-back guarantee. If you go to the class and do the stuff in the class, it works. If you don't, it won't.

Did you ever give anybody's money back? I would have, but nobody asked because they're too ashamed. They didn't go to the class. Or they did it and it works every single time. Every time. You don't want your money back if you did it and it worked. Hello. That's the thing.

That's incredible. This is The Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Lane is with us in Wilmington, Delaware. Hi, Lane. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys doing? Great. What's up? So in March, I passed my occupational therapy board, so I have my master's in occupational therapy.

However, last year I started a landscaping business. It's been full-time, so rather than getting a therapy job, I went ahead and did the landscaping full-time. It's been a great source of income. I have $12,000 left in debt and I'm honestly just kind of burnt out. So I was trying to transition into my therapy job now. So I have less landscaping jobs and I'm kind of in a weird limbo where I accepted an outpatient pediatric job, which I'm very passionate about, but it's only one day a week, and so that's not enough, and I'm having a hard time finding places that will take me for the other four days. Why did you leave the job you had before you had another job?

So I didn't. I am a small business owner, so I couldn't grow anymore without hiring someone, and I didn't want to have to do that because then you make less. I didn't have a problem with that. I'm just saying, why did you shut it down before you had the new job lined up? Oh, so I did not shut it down. Okay. I'm still doing it, but I have less jobs now than I did. Did you intentionally take fewer jobs?

Yes, I did, because I honestly was burnt out, and my attention to detail was going down, and I didn't want to provide people services to that mindset. And I was ready to get started with my professional career for what I went to school with. That part I'm in complete alignment on. It's just the timing thing. Right. What did you say It's just the timing thing. Right. What did you say? It's the timing thing.

You stepped off of one income to no income. I would have loved for you to have had your, I mean, I'd love for you to have just gotten your occupational therapy job and just quit landscaping. Right. It's so getting credentialed through insurance takes like a month. So actually a month ago I sent in some applications and then I found out now after I already dwindled down the job that getting credentialed through insurance takes some time. And I do have $12,000 left of debt, which I feel like is eating me alive.

And I kind of feel like a bum having eaten like two days off a week. So this is kind of just like a, I don't know, I can't go anywhere. I could go to a really great restaurant and apply and work there and make money. But, you know, who knows, in a month I might have to say I have to leave. You know, I don't think that's morally right to do. So listen, listen, listen. You're cooked. Okay.

And I've sat with, I can't even tell you how many students who have finished their boards or finished the bar exam or finished whatever, and they're just cooked. And so where you find yourself is you are fried, but you did jump off. You chose to stop paying attention to detail because you got tired, right? It's not something that happened to you. It's something that you chose to stop paying attention to detail because you got tired. Right? It's not something that happened to you. It's something that you chose to do. You are just zonked. Okay?

And what happens when you get zonked is sometimes you start catastrophizing and start creating situations that then you try to solve that haven't even happened yet. So what I'd love to see you do is go find somebody in your community you can talk to. Just go talk to a counselor once or twice. Just go find somebody or go out with your friends. Have people over to your house. I want you to be human again. You've been a robot attacking tasks

for a long time. You've been in fight or flight for years. You're going to have to take some more lawn jobs and some more landscaping jobs until you land a full-time job. And then here's what you do. You call your landscape clients and say, I'm getting out of this.

And so here's your two-week notice. And then you move on. Right. And they will find somebody else. But you have overthought this and overspun this because your body's cooked. And you just need to start laughing again. Invite some friends over to your house again. You got to make some money

so you're going to have to pick up some more jobs again. If you just can't start that lawnmower one more time, then go get a job at a restaurant. I just don't know why you wouldn't just do it for another five or six months. Getting your boards. You thought you were going to ride into a new job. As soon as you pass that test,

we're going to start on Monday and then you realize, are you freaking kidding me? There's more hurdles? Yes, there's more hurdles. And so now you're right back in it. Take some more jobs. Make some more money.

But start being a person. Make the transition by Christmas. Yeah. But don't make it by Tuesday. Don't make it by Tuesday. You're so close, honey. You're so close, and you're so strong, and you've made it. You're going to be good, but you're not quite there yet.

Okay? So maybe make Christmas my deadline, you're saying? I don't care. I just made that up. Even though I'm tired of the land savings. Yeah, you're tired, but you're so close. This is a terrible example, and I wish I had another one off the top of my head, but this is live radio.

You know when you're in a long car ride, and you've got to pull over because you've got to go, and then it feels right when you get to the gas station, all of a sudden it becomes a super emergency, right? That's where you're at. That's where you feel. You've just got to hang in there, okay? Don't go in the car. Wait until you get inside, okay? Maybe the worst live radio analogy ever.

I think it probably qualifies as one of the worst ever. Hey, I know you're fried. I want you to have some people over this week. You'll watch a movie. You get some pizza and a glass of wine. You'll laugh, but start reengaging humanity again. Lane, you're strong enough to hang on to do the transition wisely instead of this gap that you left between the incomes,

which is now scaring you more than the burnout scared you. Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? I have no reason to stress financially. I just got married in June, and, you know, everything's great. Your stress is not about math. It's not about math. Your stress is that your body has been in fight or flight.

It's been on cortisol and adrenaline for years and it finally just said enough you've been cranking through these tasks and it's just you you've you've been a in a machine in a good way but very robotic but but uh it got you through there and you can go you can go from here so you you got the stuff it takes you're just going to have to make this transition a little more gentle because it's driving you nuts yeah genie is or more gradual i don't know incremental genie's in tampa florida hi genie how are you hello dave john i'm well thank you very much thank you so much for all you do. Thank you. How can we help? I am 59 years old getting ready to reinvent my life

after 30 some odd years out of the traditional junk market and I'm trying to decide if it makes more sense to sell my home and relocate to a less expensive area for a fresh store. Why are you reinventing your life at 59? I love your spirit in that language. What's going on? Sadly, I'm facing a divorce after 33 years of marriage. Oh, that's heartbreaking. Yeah, reinvention. Yeah.

When was it final? It isn't yet. So I'm kind of in the process of that right now. It turned out after coming to financial peace in 2009, I didn't have a financial problem. We had, unfortunately, a relationship problem. So I had my ELP over last night, and I got a price for the house. What I could sell my home for my home is paid for. However, after it was all paid for, it ended up getting an equity line on it.

So I do actually have two debts that would need to come out of the home if I chose to sell it. What are you using for income after the divorce? That's a bit of an issue. I actually belong to a business boutique, and by trade I'm a writer. And so, as you well know, with the publishing market, the way that it is, it's been kind of changing. So I've been self-employed for 30 years now, and so I'm going to have to kind of figure,

sort of figure that out. So I'm trying to get a job. It hasn't been working, but, you know, I do have, I can make money, so. How much money do you have? Or will you have when the smoke clears the house i'm sitting in it that's it what's the house worth that's it uh 225 according to the eop lady who looks very nice if we could get your income going so i knew you had something to live on, I would tell you to slow down and not sell it fast. Okay.

Unless the house holds memories and emotions that you'd rather get away from. That's part of the problem, Dave, quite frankly. That's fair. My support system is here. But that said, all I want to do is run. This has been going on for quite a while now, unfortunately. You want the whiteboard wiped off. I don't mind you selling it.

You know, what I'd do is just sell a house and rent for six months, but what I would also do is not touch the money. Don't touch it. Go get a job at Costco. Go get a job and make enough money to survive without touching the money. Don't use this money to be your fresh start. Go get a job anywhere. Go get you a nice apartment somewhere.

Get you a fresh emotional well-being around you. But don't spend the money. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.