The Ramsey Show - App - Can I Buy a House While Paying Off Debt? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: December 2, 2022

George Kamel & Rachel Cruze discuss: Paying off student loans even if there's a chance they get forgiven, Selling or renting out a house to move into a camper, Are we considered self-insured? What to do with a house once you get married, Paying off a car loan, Getting a girlfriend on board with the Ramsey plan. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pod's moving and storage studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined this hour by Rachel Cruz, bestselling author and co-host, not only today of The Ramsey Show, but also my co-host on Smart Money Happy Hour. So be sure to check that out. We're having a good time over there as well. A lot of levity, a lot of fun, and we try to bring that to the show as well. So it's a free call at 888-825-5225. So you jump on the lines and we'll talk about your life and your money. Natalie kicks us off in Buffalo, New York.

Natalie, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you for having me. Absolutely. How can Rachel and I help? So I have about $400,000 in student loans. And I do qualify for the public loan service forgiveness. So I've been trying to really aggressively pay off the loans. My net income is about $120,000 a year.

So I've been kind of pouring as much money as I can into my loan to try to get them out. But at the same time, the loans are due to be forgiven in four more years. I already have six years that qualify. It would just be four more years before they're due to be forgiven in four more years. I already have six years that qualify. It would just be four more years before they're supposed to disappear. I'm also trying to like stay for down payment on a house. So I was trying to see if I can put some of my money into a savings account or a CD to try to get enough money for a down payment rather than towards my loan. Natalie, what was your degree in for $400,000? I'm a physician.

Okay. And you're making $120,000. Do you see your income going up anytime soon? So that's like after taxes and everything. Not anytime soon, maybe like on a yearly basis. Okay. So you're probably making closer to $200 or so gross? Exactly, yes. Like $213 or so. Okay. Well, first and foremost, no, I would not be saving for a house, Natalie, until you get all of this situated.

Because it gets in a really tough position when people go and purchase something like a home, which is, for most people, their largest financial purchase. And then you still have this debt, which is basically a mortgage, you know that I mean, like, it's just it's a lot not that you can't get out of it. I don't want it to sound hopeless. But the weight of the amount that you owe, plus a mortgage on top of that and everything I we don't suggest getting a mortgage until you're debt free and have an emergency fund so i would be if i were you yeah working to pay this off but you said you're part of that of the loan forgiveness program and it and you think in four years is that because i think from a lot of from what we've read and researched and christina ellis who's um really the expert when it comes to student

loans and student loan forgiveness i mean the the ratio, the percentage still is so low. The percentage that actually get it. That actually get it. Yeah. It's abysmally low. And, you know, I hope that you are in there and I hope it works out. But we always have to think about what if it doesn't? Because if you don't make all of these payments perfectly, the whole thing resets.

And we just don't know what the next four years of your life looks like. And the other side of this, are you wanting to purposefully work in the public sector? whole thing resets and we just don't know what the next four years of your life looks like. And the other side of this, are you wanting to purposefully work in the public sector? So right now, I mean, kind of everywhere I've had a job is just in that sector. So I wasn't thinking of just sitting there for at least until, you know, for four more years just to, in case I do qualify to do that. Yeah, that's the part that scares me is you kind of put your life on hold and you go, I'm just going to settle and be comfortable because I'm going to hope that this works out versus you jumping into the private sector and making, you know, who knows, $100,000 more,

which is a possibility, and you go, oh, I guess I don't need the government to forgive this after all. I can take control of this. And so I'm not anti you hanging on for four years. But like Rachel said, I would also not be making giant financial moves, jumping into a house and all of a sudden the forgiveness didn't work out. And now you still have a pile of loans sitting there. Right. I guess all my life I've just been renting an apartment and I feel like my money's not going anywhere. And I thought it would be a good investment. Yeah, and you're exactly right though. It would be.

And I think real estate and owning a home is something, yeah, we definitely want for everyone. But just with your current situation and this amount of debt. But the great thing is, Natalie, if you do what George says and just kind of dream a little bit and say, okay, what if I go into the private sector? How much can I make and how much would it take? Because you could have a really big shovel. You have a big hole, if you will, with that $400,000,

but you could also get a massive shovel and knock this out in two years. I mean, if you made 250, yeah, 350, and it's like, man, you really could, you could make a huge dent in a quick period of time. So that's what I would do. And too, Natalie, there's almost this mindset to have when it comes to your money. And I think, you know, majority of the parts of your life of you just, of you owning it, you know, and taking control. And instead of waiting on a program or waiting

on a system to come in and fix it for you, for you to say, okay, I signed up for these loans. This is the career path I wanted. And I bet you're fantastic, a fantastic physician. And you're going to be able to help and you are helping, you know, tons of people. So it's such wonderful work that you're in. And to say, I'm going to just take care of my life and my money, and it's going to be up to me. And when you have that mindset on something as big as student loans and student loan forgiveness, and this is kind of the same conversation we're having with people out there that are waiting on the current system, you know, to get into place because they want some loans forgiven. And so it's just that mindset shift. And when you start to actually take control of your life, things just

move. Like the progress of what you do, you just take ownership. And then that bleeds into other areas of your life, too. So that's that's kind of our attitude when it comes to our money is, is not waiting on someone else or another program to fix it and wait for years where you could do you could do a lot, Natalie, you really could. And I believe you can. Yeah. So you know, I'm not going to give you advice today to say go do this or go do that. But we hopefully gave you enough to chew on to kind of thumb through this and when people are you know over halfway into this rachel it's hard to go like okay like in four years it could be gone you know what that's a lot of money i'm gonna be a little bit more black and white than you george okay i would tell her i would

tell her go to the private sector unless she feels called if there's like this like and that was why to the public but if it's not if you're doing the public just to get the loans forgiven in four years, I'd scratch it. And I would say, go to the private sector. You can serve there really well. Help a lot of people. Just grab on your,

and then saving up for a house, Natalie, with that income, with no payments, no debt. I'm like, oh my gosh, you could save up for an incredible house

quickly for a down payment. 20 years in the private sector. Yes. I mean, in the next five years, Natalie, your life could look so different. So if I were in your shoes, that's what I would do. That's a good word.

And go check out our Borrowed Future documentary. It's free on YouTube. And I think that will maybe inspire you in some ways as we dig into this whole student loan crisis, the further education conversation. It's good stuff. And while we're on this thread, Rachel, talking about taking control,

I wanna mention that we have launched our Building Wealth events. And that's kind of what it's all about. We're telling people, hey, you don't have to wait on the economy, on the White House to take control of your money and build wealth. And so general admission passes for this event are just $39 until December 5th. So that's early bird pricing. It's going to be Dave Ramsey, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman, myself, Rachel Cruz. We're going to kind of switch off at these events across the country. We're kicking it off January 12th in Nashville, Tennessee.

Then we're going to Indianapolis in February, Austin in February, Salt Lake City in April, and Anaheim, California on May 2nd. We're going to show you how to inflation-proof your money, build lasting wealth, and how to apply these principles to your life in a way that is real. So early bird pricing ends Monday. Do not miss this. Get your general admission pass for just 39 bucks today. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash events. That's ramseysolutions.com slash events. Don't wait on anyone to get control of your life and especially your money. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined this hour by Rachel Cruz.

Well, it's been an amazing week of Ramsey shows so far. Appreciate all of you calling in and trusting us with your biggest life and money questions and a lot of tough family situations going on right now. Calls about paying back a strange parent's loan, taking a strange children out of the will, moving on after a divorce, setting boundaries around holidays and Christmas gifts and travel, giving money to kids. There's so much relational and money conversations happening right now, Rachel. Yes. And yeah, this week it was just magnified. It felt like there was a lot. Holidays will bring that out. I guess so. On top of that, we had some amazing Dave rants,

which we all love. I know you do as the listeners on annuities, gazelle intensity, on eating out. I had a viral TikTok video about how eating out is more expensive than eating at home. Okay, so I heard about this. What happened? People were just saying, your numbers are so wrong. You can't eat at home. And what were your numbers? Give us a little snippet. I said the average meal eating at home, about $4 per serving.

I think I need to make that clear. Average meal eating out, about $13. They're like, my eggs are $13. Oh, my gosh. You can't. And so it's just very upset. They got mad at you, George. And Dave's reaction, I mean, he was at level 10 the whole time. You my gosh, you can't. And so it's just a very, very upset. They got mad at you, George. And Dave's reaction,

I mean, he was at level 10 the whole time. You got to go check that one out. He also had a great rant about Bitcoin bros as more and more crypto coins are collapsing, companies collapsing, and even some current event stuff. Student loan forgiveness has been a hot topic and all these crypto exchanges failing.

So a lot of good calls, good content. Go check it out. You can do that. Go back and listen to podcasts. Check out the Ramsey Show YouTube channel all about the highlights. And if you do like the show, if you're an avid listener, you love it, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and especially this, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Most people these days, Rachel, they've got the Rolodex full when it comes to shows. The only way they're going to add one in or swap one out is for a friend to say, hey, you really need to check out the Ramsey show

and send them a specific episode that you really enjoyed. So that's super helpful to help us make more impact across the country. Back to the phones we go. The number is 888-825-5225. Jerry is calling in from Indianapolis. Jerry, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Absolutely. How can we help? First of all, God bless you for taking my call. I basically owe about $50,000 on my home. The price is at about $180,000 And my question is, should I sell it? Should I keep it? Or should I,

because I'm getting ready to be an operations manager for an Airbnb or turn it into a B&B and buy a camper? Whoa. So what's driving these decisions? Well, just because I only paid about $75 for the home, and the market is about $110 over that to get back. But then you'd need to go live somewhere else, and the market's still hot, and so you'd have to go buy something just as expensive, if not more expensive. Or a camper. Or a camper. And so what's driving you to get the camper? Well, I have only a 15 year old at home so um we live in a small home anyway so it wouldn't be a really big adjustment for us

jerry is the um is the mortgage payment what what is it compared to your income is it overwhelming or is it doable is it less than that 25 that we talk about? Oh, yeah. Okay. I mean, I can give you my opinion without asking any more follow-up questions, George, unless you have any. But I mean, if I were you, Jerry, I would stay in the home. I mean, the home is only going to continue to go up in value.

Owning real estate is just a great investment. I mean, it's something that I think is part of your net worth. It's something that continues to go up. I think we're now at the point that I think everyone realizes it's not a bubble. It's not going to burst. Everyone was nervous about that about 12 months ago, nine months ago. So where you're at in equity is great. I mean, that's on your side when it comes to stuff. So moving into a smaller home or a camper, I mean, you can if that's what you want to do,

but you don't need to financially. And in fact, staying in real estate, I think it's a great investment. Do you have any other debts? I owe a truck payment that's about $30,000. About $30,000. How much do you make a year? With my husband, about $90,000. About $90 $30,000. How much do you make a year? With my husband, about $90,000.

About $90,000. Okay. I'd focus on paying off that truck and I'd stay put where I'm at. I don't see this as a problem. And so we're trying to solve a non-existent problem because once you're in the camper, well, now the camper is going down in value. You no longer have an asset and the camper is still a short-term solution. We can't live in a camper forever. And so I just don't see the reason to make a big financial move like this when you don't have to. So I'd be about the business of paying off the truck, then be about the business of paying off the mortgage. And now we have a fully paid for home that maybe we can upgrade and pay cash later on down the road. Okay. Sounds great. Appreciate your guys' advice.

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for calling, Jerry. Good stuff. All right. Kevin joins us up next in Irvine, California. Kevin, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Thanks, George. Great to be here. Well, it's great to have you. How can we help today? So I've never had life insurance. My wife has never had life insurance. We've never been dependent upon each other's income. Our assumption is essentially if one of us died, the other would be just fine with the money they were making, plus whatever was in the retirement account of the person who died. But now with three factors changing things up, I'm starting to reassess that. First factor is inflation has made our cost of living go up a bit. Second factor is the stock

market being down. The money in our accounts is a lot less than it a bit. Second factor is the stock market being down. The money in our accounts is a lot less than it was. And third factor is we just found out that we're pregnant. Oh, congratulations. So now I'm really investing what my responsibilities are. That'll do it, won't it? That's great. Your factor's right there,

exactly why we tell every human being to get life insurance if there's someone else in the picture, because we don't know what life's going to throw at us. And if, God forbid, my spouse died, I don't want to have to go straight back to work because I need that paycheck. I want to have space to grieve. I want to have money in the bank to know that I'm covered on that area so that I have that space emotionally. And so that's one major reason to have it in place. So I would absolutely get life insurance for both of you in place, get a term life policy that is worth 10 to 12 times your income, especially as you bring a little one into the world. Yeah. Are you guys both pretty

healthy, Kevin? Pretty, you know, would you say health wise? I like to think so for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Well, how old are you guys? I'm 34. She's 32. And do you mind if I give you my numbers real quick? Yeah, please. Yeah. So we have a paid for home. It was worth 545 when we bought it. It's probably around 800 now, depending on if Zillow is accurate. That's great.

And then in my retirement account, before everything took a downturn, it was around half a million. And our living expenses after having the house paid off was roughly like $40,000 a year because, you know, no mortgage payment. You can live a lot more cheaply. Yeah. So my numbers were essentially that because I have half a million in my retirement, if I, you know, bite the dust a little too early, then my wife can easily live off of 10% of that half a million. But again, the living expenses have gone up a little too early, then my wife can easily live off of 10% of that half a million. But again, the living expenses have gone up a little. I'm not entirely sure how much, because it seems to change week to week to month. And I'm not sure with the baby coming along what that would mean

also. And then if she were to die, then I would be in a little bit of a world of hurt because I couldn't get to my retirement funds and she has 55 in hers and which would be fine if there wasn't a baby in the mix. But if there's a baby, then I'll have to worry about childcare and stuff. Sure. Sure. Well, let me tell you this, Kevin. I mean, yes, when you look at the numbers and everything that you're saying, could you technically be self-insured? I mean, yeah, you guys have a paid for house. You have great, you know, great retirement. Like you said, she doesn't have as much. So yeah, you're the one that, you know, would be the one that you're like, oh gosh. But in my opinion, term life, as long as you're healthy and you're more on that, you know, the younger end of the spectrum, it's so inexpensive.

Like my husband and I, we just upped ours probably 18 months ago maybe two years ago um and we're i mean i would say we would technically be self-insured um you know we're kind of to the point that we're like okay we're on baby step seven and we might be fine but i'm like it's just so cheap that apartment's like yeah i kind of just like to have it like just the just in case that i'm like okay it's just there because it's so inexpensive and as it starts raising where you're like okay that's just it's just not a good use of our money anymore because your retirement's grown, you guys again, maybe in a different season,

then you could look at saying, yeah, self-insured. But I would still do it just because it's so inexpensive. But maybe that's the security part in me as a woman where I'm like, it's that extra, extra safety net that just feels nice to have. Yes, 10 to 12 times your income. Get a 15 or 20-year policy. You're going to sleep better at night.

And by the way, if you're a stay-at-home parent, you especially need insurance. Just because you don't have a paycheck doesn't mean that if you need to be replaced, it would take 17 people and a lot of money. About half a million dollars on a stay-at-home parent is what you need. Get this in place today. You can go check out our friends at Zander Insurance. That's where me and Rachel have ours through through and they will take good care of you. This is The Ramsey Show.

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This is the Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Rachel Cruz this hour. You can give us a call at 888-825-5225 if you want to talk about your life and your money. Well, Rachel, I've been tagged in about a thousand of these Spotify-wrapped Instagram stories. I know. Isn't that great? And what's so cool to see is how many people have been checking out the Ramsey Network shows. Not just the Ramsey show, but the Dr. John Deloney show, the Ken Coleman show, the Rachel Cruz show, Smart Money Happy Hour. And Jacob D. emailed in with subject line, I think I have a Ramsey show addiction.

And his top four podcasts, Ramsey show, the Dr. John Deloney show, True Crime Garage, followed by Smart Money Happy Hour. There you go. So thank you, Jacob, for being such an intent listener of all of our shows and thank you all for listening,

for sharing that on Instagram. It helps us spread the word about the show and impact more people and that Spotify rap is hilarious, Rachel. They're like,

this is so accurate. And it's like, yeah, it's literally data. It's literally the numbers of hours you watch. We know that you listened to the Taylor Swift album 48 times in the past week. So good.

That was a personal attack on me, Rachel. Fire album. All right, let's go to the phones. Carrie joins us all the way in Anchorage, Alaska. Carrie, welcome to the show. Hello. Thank you for taking my call. You are so happy to be so cold right now.

How are you doing? You're absolutely right. It's four degrees. Still have a smile on my face, folks. I love it. That's the resilient Alaskan vibe we need today. How can we help? That is true. Well, I just had a few questions. This year had a lot of changes. I sold a condo that I had owned for 10 plus years and bought a home and also got engaged.

And so now here I am with a fiance with a home and I have a home and we're kind of just in that spot where I was able to rent my house out. Um, you know, I'm, and, and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or come when the lease, you know, um, is up, should I rent it out again? Do I need to think about just selling my house or do we keep it? And so. Yes. You guys will be moving into his place. We are. Okay. And so then you have your house still it's rent it you're gonna rent it or it's renting now um do you guys have any debt what will your financial situation be when you guys get married what would be your combined income uh it'll be about probably about 400 okay and do you guys have any debt uh the only debt that I have is my mortgage. Okay.

And that's it? Will he have any? No, just his mortgage as well. Okay. And how much is his mortgage? You know, it's about $1,800. What's left total on the loan? I'm not exactly sure on the number, but it's definitely under $200,000.

Okay, cool. Probably under $150,000. And how about you in your house? Well, so my payment is about $2,200, and I just closed on the home in May. Okay. And how much do you have left on the mortgage? About $360,000. $360,000, okay. What's it worth if you you have left on the mortgage? About $360,000. $360,000. Okay.

What's it worth if you sold today? About the same? Yeah. But again, with the market doing what they're doing, I would think I would get what I paid for, which was $375,000. Okay. So you don't have much in the house as far as equity? I don't. What are you renting it for? Which is kind of where I'm... $3,100.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, you asked for our opinion. I'll give it to you. If you were married and you guys had a mortgage and you said, hey, let's get another house and another mortgage and put very little down, I would say, don't do that, Carrie. And so that tells me we're going to sell the house

and any of the profits we can throw at his mortgage. And we just be about the business of getting rid of our now one mortgage. And later on down the road, you can get back into the real estate investing game and do it with cash and do it with a lot of peace and a lot of wisdom. So that's what I would do if I was in your shoes. Okay. I like that idea. It's a little scary to think that I just purchased a house and now I'm going to sell it. That is the bummer.

Yeah. Because there's going to be, you know, you're paying the fees. You may not get out of it with a whole lot of profit. And that's okay, Carrie. But honestly, it's going to be worth it. Like, of not owning a home, you're going to be dealing with a renter. And again, if you want to get into the real estate game, it's not a bad thing. But, you know, a lot of people look at this as like, oh, it's just such easy passive income. And it's not

I mean, it ends up being kind of a part time job when you're a landlord and a tenant. I mean, yeah, it just adds a layer to your life that you don't need. And so yeah, you may pay some extra fees and stuff. But you know what, I would just look forward and be like, Alright, I did it. And let's move on. And and I would and I would sell it. I really would. Because I think you guys, your first year of marriage, you're going to be able to do so much. You guys are making incredible money. You're going to be able to knock out your primary mortgage. And, I mean, you guys are going to start investing.

You're going to be able to have cash and travel. I mean, yeah, there's just a lot. I'm excited for you. A lot for you in the future. Carrie? You're going from two mortgages, and pretty soon you're going to have no mortgage. And then imagine making $400K with no payments in the world.

How quickly could you stack up a whole bunch of cash and buy property and have it completely cash flow? All the profit's yours. So I love this plan. And can I gift you a little premarital gift? Please. That would be wonderful. Okay. I'm going to gift you guys Financial Peace University as our gift to you as you embark on this journey together and become one.

And watch all nine lessons together. I think it will motivate you and inspire you, give you some tools in your tool belt, a lot of knowledge. Rachel and I are in it, if that helps any. It may not be a selling point to you, Carrie. I have no idea. It's wonderful. I listen to you guys every day. Oh, that's so nice.

So fun. Thank you for the call. Hang on the line. Austin will get that over to you. and we're excited for you guys. Congratulations, Gary. Jeremy's up next in San Jose. Jeremy, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hello.

What's going on? Right, right. So I reached a point. I had a call with you guys a few years ago, and you guys got me very motivated to get rid of all my debt. And I did reach a point up until a few weeks ago where I didn't have any debt except for my mortgage. And this whole year, I've just been very impulsive with my money money i'm not sure what's going on with me and so i bought it i bought a car and i got a loan and my wife she found about out of found out about it

and she was very upset that i got a loan on a car um my you know i was kind of justifying it by saying well you know i typically save around two,000 a month after all my expenses, so I can just pay it off. Or I have a few grand in cash, I'll just start paying it all off. And then I have a bonus coming up in the next few months, and I can just pay it off all then. But now that I have the car, I'm just thinking to myself, why did I do this? Why am I spending money? Why am I not saving my money? And why am I, like, I feel like I went behind my wife's back and I got a car because we agreed not to get loans on stuff like this.

And she's upset about it. And then she told me, you know, because you did this, you need to go and deplete our emergency fund and pay this car off tomorrow. I haven't done that yet. So my question to you guys is one, I mean, typically I know you guys may encounter people with, who just seem to make dumb decision with money. I don't want to continue to do this, you know? And secondly, I mean, is that the right move to just do what my wife said and say, you know what, I made a mistake, let's just pay, let's just take the cash out the emergency fund and pay for the car. Well, Jeremy, I, I, I appreciate, I feel like where you're at.

If I'm listening to your tone correctly, um, you're regretting it. You're not being prideful and spiteful and saying, you know, screw everyone else. I'm going to just do what Jeremy wants to do. I mean, you feel a level of remorse is what it sounds like. So how much is the car? How much is the loan? Well, I mean, the loan is, the loan, well, the car was like 15, but with the fees, I think it comes around, it comes to 17 something.

Okay. Yeah. I don't know the exact number off my head. Yep. And if you sold it tomorrow, what could you sell it for? I think the car values have actually lost value. So I think I could sell it for probably 16 or 15.

Yep. Yep. That's what I do, Jeremy. I'm selling it. Yeah. And I would just chuck it up. We call it stupid tax around here.

I was just being stupid. Why did I do that? And we've all chuck it up. We call it stupid tax around here. I was just being stupid. Why did I do that? And we've all done it. Different dollar amounts, different purchases. We've all done it. So if I were you, I, and I think that's an act to your wife too, to say, hey, I screwed up and I'm going back and I'm making this right. Instead of depleting the emergency fund for a stupid car.

It's not an emergency. No. And then what happens when a real emergency hits and you have no money? Then your wife's really mad. So, you know, this was financial infidelity and you have to rebuild trust. And I think a way you can do that is by reversing this decision and selling it to show her how serious you are. But don't beat yourself up. You're not dumb. We all make dumb decisions. This is The Ramsey Show. I am George Campbell, Ramsey personality, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour, as well as The Ramsey Show. And I'm joined by the other side of Smart Money Happy Hour, Rachel Cruz.

And we are taking your calls today. And if you want to check out Smart Money Happy Hour, you can do that on The Ramsey Network, wherever you listen to podcasts. It's also on YouTube, just the audio portion. But I'm excited to announce that in 2023, we're coming to you with video. People have been asking. They want to see it. They want to see it. They want to believe it. And so an episode

just released yesterday all about Love is Blind's Best and Most Cringeworthy Money Lessons and it's one of Rachel's favorite reality shows. I love Love is Blind. So this was really just a gift for Rachel to talk about her favorite reality show at work. I know. I know and I want to do Laguna Beach next. I

binge that. We got a lot of good pop culture on this podcast, so make sure to check it out. And some good lessons, George. You're right. It's real-time life happening. There's a lot of what not to do on these reality shows, and a few that are like, okay, thumbs up.

You're doing great. Oh, boy, good stuff. Dave was talking about how he listens to every episode. He's like, I mean, it's all so good. I didn't really like the last episode, the Love is Blind one. I was like, oh, come it's all so good. I didn't really like the last episode, the Love is Blind one. I was like, oh, come on. Not the Target demo.

Don't, yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to say Dave watches Love is Blind. I was like, that is the shocking revelation of the year. That could be a reality show right there. Oh, boy. Well, we're going back to the phones this hour. The number to call is 888-825-5225. You jump in.

We'll talk about your life and your money. Eric has chosen to do that, and he's over in St. Paul, Minnesota. Eric, welcome to the show. Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. What's going on with you? So I guess my question today is I am in a three-year-long relationship.

I'm 19, and my girlfriend's 18, and she's not really familiar with the plan, but she's planning on going to college soon, and I can see a future with her, and I'm scared. I don't want her to go into debt, but every time, I guess we were raised differently, and I grew up in a less fortunate circumstance, but she's been able to spend more. So there's kind of a disconnect there, and I don't know if it's any of my business, being that we're still dating, that we're still so young, or what I can do. Well, you're very wise for your age for even considering all of this in the equation. Is she going to college near you?

Are you guys going to get split up? No, she's going near us. Oh, good. Our hometown. Okay, that bodes well. Yeah, I mean, do you see yourself proposing anytime soon? Do you think you guys are going to get married, you know, in like the next year? Or do you think, oh, no, no, no, we're still too young.

We're going to wait it out a few years, wait until she graduates. Like what is your plan, Eric, with her? Well, we both knocked up some college credits. I'm about graduated with a bachelor's, and then she's kind of on a similar path. Wow. So this is like an accelerated program? Yeah, through our fight school and several classes as well.

Well, what I'm kind of getting at, Eric, is depending upon how quickly you're going to make a decision when it comes to something like marriage will be the speed at which I would have a conversation with her. So I'm not going to knock your age. I was young when I got married. I was 21, so to knock your age. I was young when I got married. I was 21. So I was just two years older than you. I got married young. So, you know, if you guys really are going down this path and it starts to get more serious and you're like,

okay, yeah, marriage is a for real thing. We kind of have a timeline. We're mapping this out. Then that's when the values conversation comes into play is, hey, is debt going to be a part of our life? Are we going to live debt free? What does it look like to live on a budget together? What does it look like? You know, maybe if she's a spender and you're the saver, which is my marriage, I'm the spender, he's the saver. You know, and you start to have those kind of values

conversations. You guys are still going to be different. You know, you kind of have your God-given personality, but you start to have those conversations, say, hey, how are we going to work together as a team? But I wouldn't feel the pressure to do that, Eric, again, if marriage isn't really in close in proximity, because while, yes, she could be the one, and you know that at 19, and you guys could get married and all of that, also a lot of life happens, you know, in your late teens and early 20s, especially when you're making decisions like college or moving for a job. You just never know what's going to happen. So I would accelerate the conversation as the wedding conversation starts to accelerate and become more of a reality. But that would be my opinion.

Yeah. Have you had conversations with her about money so far that have not gone well? What kind of makes you think she's super far off? I guess, I don't know. I've always been like a really heavy spender. So I don't know. I feel bad. I think maybe sometimes I say things I shouldn't when we're shopping, but I also do it because I... What are you saying? Give me an example. Like a pair of shoes that I don't think she'll wear, I'll say, like, do you think you'll actually wear this

or do you think you'll actually need this? It's a little passive-aggressive. That sounds like marriage. I have for sure said that. So that doesn't end well for me. Yeah. Well, I mean. It never ends well for me, Eric, too, in my marriage.

And Eric, you never want to get in the position where you feel like you're parenting her or something. And she's 18. And if she's never really done stuff on her own, she may not know. So, yeah, I think that there's a lot of grace here. I think that there is a level of reality of your age. You know, she's 18. She may not know. And, you know that there's a lot of grace here. I think that there is a level of reality of your age. You know, she's 18. She may not know.

And, you know, she's lived one way. And, again, with a lot of grace and a lot of humility on your end, Eric, to start those conversations I think would be great. Yeah. I mean, I was a knucklehead at your age when it came to money. So I don't want someone judging me for the rest of my life based on how I was at 18. Yeah, that's right. And so I would definitely have some grace. I feel like you're almost, you're so mature for your age

as far as the way you're thinking. And so I think we also need to go. Chill out. We're not adults yet. We don't have bills to pay. So I don't need to be like, what are your thoughts on annuities versus 401ks? You can just have more general money conversations with her

and say, hey, what's your plan for for school are you are you applying for scholarships like how cool would it be if we could both graduate debt free and all of our income from our jobs stayed with us and you can just start to kind of see how she feels about those kinds of things i guess another part of the problem is that um i was fortunate enough to have my college paid for through grants and stuff through the state. And so she's like, you haven't even tried to go through college without taking out loans. So she's going, well, you don't get to talk to me about that

because you're over here and you've got all this free money to go to college have you helped her maybe apply for some scholarships helped her find some no I mean I encouraged her to look but I yeah no I think you kind of come alongside her not as a condescending coach but more as a a friend a boyfriend and go hey I want to see you win I care about you as a person and I know you got a lot on your plate right. I'd love to help in any way I can. Yeah. And I would leave the boundary at that, Eric, because as much as you love her, you guys are just dating. It's not your wife. If you were in a marriage, this would be a different kind of conversation. You're just dating. And so you don't, she doesn't have responsibility to you. I mean, she doesn't. So I don't know don't know. There, there's that, that tension that lies there, but I think having those conversations, I think it's totally fine.

Um, yeah, to bring it up and just casually be like, all right, let's, let's talk about college. Let's talk about, and again, as the future starts to become more of a reality, it's like, all right, let's talk about this. This is really important to me. This is a value system play to me. Um, and have those, but I would would i would just kind of i i would take a breath eric just i would just chill and these are her decisions you're not married to her so obviously you want her to go one path but even if she doesn't we tell people you can marry someone with debt you know like yes you're like that is still a thing again you want your values to align uh but if she makes this you know if she decides to go into student loan debt at 18

you know it's not wise but she gets to make that decision her and her family and she's gonna go along and and then you guys if you guys end up getting married then yeah that'll be a discussion but yeah i don't know i just i want you to enjoy some of this life too you know what i mean i don't want you to get skip straight to adulthood well just just like uh the tension point but you could watch uh borrowed Future with her. It's free on YouTube, and that can start a conversation without you starting it for her and just her saying, hey, that was a really interesting documentary.

What are your thoughts on that? And that's a good way to kind of get those values out without making it weird. I'm rooting you on, man. I hope this thing works out. You sound awesome, Eric. Keep up the good work on your end, for sure. You're killing it. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. My thanks to my co-host, Rachel Cruz, all of our listeners out there, and all the folks in the booth keeping the show afloat.

We've got Austin and Will and James and Zach and Andrew and Josh, a whole bunch of folks. We'll be back with you before you know it. This is The Ramsey Show. Do you love a good day, Brandt? Want to see the latest Ramsey Show videos going viral? Check out your favorite moments from The Ramsey Show on YouTube. Go watch and subscribe to The Ramsey Show channel on YouTube.