The Ramsey Show - App - Can I Cashflow Grad School? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Kristina Ellis discuss: How to pass rental properties to your kids, Cash-flowing grad school, Digging out of $750k of dental school debt, Moving while paying off debt, The unintended consequences of divorce. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

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Christina Ellis, number one best-selling author, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. We'll take your calls at 888-825-5225. Barbara's in Phoenix to start this hour off. Hey, Barbara, how are you? I'm well, thank you for asking. How are you? Better than we deserve. What's up? Well, I have some rental property and some cash, and I'm 80 years old, and I want to leave all of this money to my children. And I want to get rid of these four last rentals, but I have tenants that have been in there for a long time, and I don't know should I lose money by letting them stay in there because they're comfortable, or should I sell them and put the money aside?

How are you losing money? I said, I'm not losing. Well, because the market is going down, and I feel like if I wait another year, I'm going to get a year less in income. I mean, not in income, but for the sale. Okay. Are you ill? Am income, but for the sale. Okay. Are you ill? Am I ill?

Are you sick? No, I'm not sick. Just asking. Well, Phoenix has had some price adjustment. But it's not had a lot of value adjustment. The difference is that some of the properties were priced up, up, up, up because it was such a hot market.

And now they're not pricing them quite so crazy. But the values have held overall. The houses are bringing less than they were asking before. But we're not seeing a huge drop in value in Phoenix. And I don't think that you're going to lose substantial money in one year. And if you make it two years, then you're probably going to make money by keeping them. Are they under-rented? It sounds like you're not charging enough rent the way you described it. I'm not charging enough rent, but they're comfortable.

I don't need any money. I know. So I would rather help those people that's struggling than to make any extra money and pay it out to the government because i do pay uh taxes on it sure sure okay um so you have tenants that are charity cases yes for the most part they don't't fix income, yes. Okay. All right. Well, here's the deal.

All right. Your kids probably don't want the real estate, right? They probably just rather have the cash. They don't. They don't want it. Okay. What did you pay for these rentals, and have you been depreciating them for many, many years? You know what?

I bought them in the 70s and i paid and i paid uh nothing for five houses less than a hundred thousand dollars and the group is worth what now right now i would say three quarters of a million yeah okay so here's the thing right if you sell area yeah if you sell them now you're going to pay capital gains on the difference in what you sell them for and your basis your adjusted basis which your basis is what you paid for them minus the depreciation that you have taken and you probably depreciated them all the way out you're probably going to pay taxes on every dollar that you sell them for if you sell them now okay right if instead you do a will do you have a will you have to have a will and living trust yes okay

then in the will leave detailed instructions to the executor of the estate who's the executor one of your kids yes that they are to sell the properties upon your death and distribute the proceeds okay here's why when they inherit seven hundred fifty thousand dollars worth of market value property if they sell it for seven hundred fifty thousand dollars there's zero tax if you sell it you're going to pay tax on all of it. Okay. That's what I needed to know. There's a stepped-up basis. Your zero basis becomes – their basis is market value at death. Okay.

Your basis is what you paid for it minus the depreciation you've taken, which has probably got these houses at zero basis or close. Yes. Okay. And so you're going to pay taxes on almost the whole thing. They're going to pay taxes on nothing, and they can sell it and turn it into money, you know, three weeks after you're gone or whatever the proper procedure is in Arizona. That's what I needed to hear.

Yeah, but leave instructions. That way your heirs don't think, well, Mama wanted us to keep these properties and take care of these people on fixed income because that's not what Mama wants. Mama wants these things sold yes so be sure you write that down and say it out loud for everybody to read matter of fact make it an instruction in the will the properties are to be liquidated upon my death and the proceeds dispersed equally or whatever you want it to be okay i listen to you every day and I know I've got a lot

of different answers, but that's the right answer right there. That's the right answer. You can check with your estate planning attorney and with your tax person and they will both confirm that this is actually one piece of tax law that I do know. Most of it I don't, but that one I do know inside and out. That's so good. I feel like I'm learning something. And I think that's just such a gift to give such clear instructions upon death and the will. Oh, it's so helpful. Because otherwise, it's always who shot John, right? So mama said, last time I was with mama, she said.

And that's the way, you know, these arguments go on forever. And it's like, and you end up keeping some stupid piece of real estate because of some rumor of what mama said, you know. And so, no, you've got to make it very clear. And in this case, we're talking about probably $150,000, $200,000 worth of difference in

tax. That one phone call. Wow. Yeah. And that's just such a highlight of, you know, ask the questions. No question is dumb to ask you. I mean, maybe there are some dumb questions, but especially in the world of taxes and wills and leaving things to your heirs these are important questions to ask that literally could have just saved her so much

money yeah and the beauty of it is I mean obviously she's sharp as a tack I mean no question about that lady she don't own game on right there but she's got a will she's built a million dollar estate you know she's a millionaire sitting there in phoenix she's watching the phoenix market like a hawk i mean this woman's not sitting back drinking ovaltine i'm just saying she's she's getting her done man i love it so uh she's cool and uh that's who that's who we want to be when we grow up when we're 80 i know i'm gonna be a millionaire managing the estate for tax efficiency wow very sophisticated there very well done barbara very well done and uh that that's the thing everyone you guys need a will if you're over 18 years old you need a will if you hate the

people that you're in your family, leave unclear instructions and no will. Because they will all fight the rest of their lives over your crap. And it'll cost them like an extra bazillion dollars in attorney's fees and court costs. It'll all get tied up in court and delayed. Oh yeah, you can completely screw up people's lives leaving them your stuff poorly. And if you love them, do the crystal clear detailed game plan signed notarized and witnessed wills go to mamabearlegalforms.com get your stinking will in place this is the Ramsey Show សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Christina Ellis Ramsey personality is my co-host today for 30 years we've taught people how to live like no one else so that one day they can give like no one else and live like no one else.

And as it turns out, the world is full of generous people. There's even a special day to recognize it. It's Giving Tuesday. To celebrate, we want to share one way you can show radical generosity and have a huge impact on kids across the country. Think back to when you first learned the baby steps and how to handle your money the right way. You probably thought, I wish I'd learned this when I was in high school. Our Foundations in Personal Finance your money the right way. You probably thought, I wish I'd learned this when I was in high school.

Our Foundations in Personal Finance curriculum is the money course you wish you'd had then, and it's been in 48% of America's high schools. But thousands of schools every year can't teach it because they don't have the funds. Through our curriculum sponsorship program, businesses and individuals team up with us to sponsor the curriculum into a high school they choose. You might send it like your old high school or something. Or your old high school and your rival old high school or whatever. That kind of stuff, right? You can sponsor curriculum for one or two students or a whole school or a whole city.

We've had businesses take on the whole city lots of times. If you're willing to live and give like no one else. So you can sponsor for an entire school. Give today. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash sponsor. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings, free samples, free shipping, new promos all the time.

Always use the promo code Ramsey to get the best possible deal. Today's question comes from Peter in Alabama. My wife got accepted into the nurse practitioner program at the University of Alabama and will start in January. This program is highly competitive and will more than double her pay when she graduates. We started the baby steps about a month ago and are on Baby Step 2. We have decided that student loans are not an option for us and we're going to cash flow her school. We have researched scholarships, grants, employer paid programs, and looked at your resources, but have not had much luck with finding help for students in a graduate school program. Hoping you can point us

in the right direction because any little bit will help. It's very interesting. I would definitely have more questions about where they are in Baby Step 2 and kind of what the reality is. But I would also have a challenge to say, you know, how much have you searched? First of all, finding money for graduate school is more difficult than undergrad. There's not as much funding available. So it does take some digging. A lot of people do end up having to cash flow it through their job. But I would also encourage you to look, especially with nursing, at different employers that are offering tuition assistance. You said you've already looked at that, but I happen to know that UAB Medicine, University of Alabama Medicine, has an awesome tuition assistance program. So if you haven't

looked into that, I would definitely encourage you to go ahead and see if that's an option. The reality is, I think a lot of people give up too easy when it comes to looking for money to pay for college. They look for scholarships for an hour or two, or they quickly do a Google search and they don't see something immediately and they go, well, there's nothing out there and they get frustrated. But the truth is, is it takes time. You have to be willing to dig and dig and dig until you find a solution that works for you. I love that you've taken student loans off the table because that's step one. You know, if you don't have that as an option, you either one are going to have to really dig and figure

out what it's going to take, whether that's working your tail off to be able to cash flow it, digging for scholarships, looking for employer tuition programs, or perhaps you may need to look at a different program or put pause for a little bit. Hit pause until you can afford to pay for it with cash. I just think being willing to take that extra step to continue strategizing is so key. Yeah, but I think you say until I have invested 40 hours and you log the hours searching scratching emailing texting going through computers talking to people until you spent 40 solid hours working on scholarships you haven't really looked yet four minutes with a google search does not count that does not count

there's not a magic button if that if that were the case everyone would go get a scholarship exactly and there's not enough scholarship money out there for everyone to get a full ride, especially for grad school. It's a limited resource. So if you want to be the person to get it, you got to be willing to put in the time and effort. It's a hard reality because I wish there was enough money for everyone to go debt free with scholarships. But scholarships specifically, there's a limited pool. Now there is. I believe anybody can get a debt free education if they're willing to hustle and grind and look for employer tuition assistance.

So if her pay is more than double when she graduates, she's probably already a nurse. Right. Is that what we're saying? That's what I'm inferring. So, yeah, I think you may. I would change jobs and go to work for somebody that pays for it. Mm-hmm. UAB is a great option.

It's called a huge raise when they start paying for your nurse practitioner school and the other place doesn't even if you took a pay cut but you got all your tuition free ding ding well and even same thing with scholarships how you're like you know until you've spent 40 hours until you've called every single hospital in town until you've called every every doctor's office anyone who could possibly need a nurse like you haven't put in the work that will you know if you're currently a nurse and they don't have tuition payment or tuition assistance that's substantial then then shop your job 100 and i would change jobs because you're going to change jobs anyway when you finish the nurse

practitioner thing and you know and so you know go do that and uh you know it's the guy who takes a job as a groundskeeper at the university but the university gives all employees free tuition to their children you know yeah i'm gonna go cut grass buddy heck yeah you know and for a period of time here because that's that's that's the best paid lawn care guy on the planet right now if you put three kids through there right i mean you know what i'm saying that kind of stuff so you just think about it differently for a short period of time and you plug yourself into that this is not a way of life for a decade this is a thing to do to get there absolutely yeah it's a temporary change you know for long-term benefits daniel is in chicago hi Daniel. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hey, Dave. Hey, what's up? How are you doing? Hey, so I recently got married. I've been with my now wife for about 10 years. She's going to graduate dental school in May. So she's bringing in about $750,000 in student loans. Good lord. I'm sorry, what is her degree?

What did she go with $750,000 in debt for? Dentist. Oh, Jesus, Murphy. Yeah, it's a good school, but it's expensive. You have no idea what you just said. Yeah. um you have no idea what you just said yeah um but uh yeah it's i've got about 40 000 in debt from what seems like you guys call normal debt credit cards car stuff like that um and uh i mean she's gonna make good money you know but it's just i can't see the light at the end of the

tunnel you know it's it's how do we dig ourselves out of that hole? And you said she's graduated or she's still in school? No, she will graduate in May. Does she have a job lined up or what's your plan for after graduation? So I'm not too savvy on all that. She's waiting for some sort of thing that she needs before she can start applying. It pretty much is like her credentials to show off to future employers. So she's waiting for that before she starts applying. But in the market, she's been looking already. It seems like

she's going to start off somewhere between $175 to $225 a year. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's the thing. I can tell by the language you're using in your sentence structure that you guys have not grasped how devastating a situation you're in. And with that, what a huge mistake this was and part of solving this is going to be that you say out loud and she says out loud this what what has happened here it's in the rearview mirror and i'm not trying to shame her but you have in order to run away from a problem you first have to realize that it's a problem and um the language you're using is minimizing this like you owe 30 to somebody

or something and it's no big deal but it was a good school it's not a good school she paid double what she should have paid for her dentistry degree double she got screwed yep she got screwed and you guys are up a creek you're in a real mess so if you will live like you're absolute poor people and go make 300 or 400 000 between the two of you you can pay this off in maybe three years and get your life back or you can be a normal dentist and keep this around for the next two decades. And that's what most dentists do. The dental degrees are the most overcharged, overpriced degree of every degree out there right now. And this one is double the normal one.

Wow. This is The Ramsey personality number one best-selling author, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Sierra is with us. Sierra is in Kansas City. Hi, Sierra. How are you? Hey, doing great.

Just want to give a quick shout-out to Austin in the booth. He is awesome. Oh, he's amazing. He's absolutely amazing. He actually runs the company, but we don't tell anybody. I would believe it. How can we help? So my husband and I, we went through financial peace in the end of September.

All nine lessons in like nine days. Perfect. And we have been chugging along for two months now. We're in baby step two, and we've paid off 18% of our total debt. So we are fired up. Boom, boom. Yes. But looking ahead, our lease is up in April, and we're not going to be able to stay here.

It's just not going to meet our needs. And just like you told us in financial peace, we're seeing our credit score dropping, which we expected. But in order to rent in our area, we've got to maintain at least some credit, which I hate. I'm ready to be done with it. No, that's not true. That's not true. Okay. Completely not true.

Listen, we had one of our personalities call 10 or 15 of the apartment complexes in our area, and our area is very similar to yours, ask them how if they required a credit score in order to move in and only one out of ten said they did requiring a credit score but what about if our credit score hasn't disappeared yet i think you just sit down with the manager and you say i've got a low credit score because i'm paying off all my debts and i'm working the dave ramsey plan and they will gladly lease to you with a deposit okay and you know and especially if you're working with an individual landlord that has an individual house that's not a corporation right right yeah if you can't i mean i've got a bunch of houses if you came to a guy

like me and said listen uh yeah you're going to find my credit score 645 but it's not because i have bad credit it's because i'm paying off everything and my credit score is dying i'm trying to kill it we would be going right yes what's the best tenant one that doesn't have any other debt they can pay the rent very very true um so i guess that is definitely probably the best option we had two things that we came up with i wanted to kind of run by you to see what you think okay um so knowing that we're going to be moving in april uh we were thinking either one going to storm mode pile up all the money until we have moved and then just press play and throw that all in the debt again or why do you need a pile of money to rent we have to get a deposit

we have to get all of that kind of stuff together. Well, you have to plan to be able to do that, but I don't know that you need to have, like, I mean, $15,000 or something. Right. I guess I'm still thinking of it like my credit score issue. So you're right. So if I'm not worried about the credit, then it doesn't matter. Do you think, Dave, it would be a good exercise for her

to go ahead and start calling apartment complexes today so she can, one, work through their credit score fears, and then, two, figure out exactly what her deposit is going to need to be? Yeah, that's good planning. And if you've got to stop or slow down your debt snowball in order to have the money to make the move that's fine but now listen what's your current rent uh currently we're renting at 1200 a month okay and so if you go up and rent you're going to slow down your whole life right we're not looking to really go much. We're looking to stick around this.

Okay, good. The thing is, where we're at in the market, what we're paying for is an equivalent to things around us for the same price. There you go. And we're looking to start a family, so we need something better. Okay. That's fine. There's no problem with that at all. Yeah, just as long as you're staying in that same price range. And yeah, but yeah, go ahead and start calling some places and look at some of the newspapers, $1,500 or $1,300 or whatever like that. And you go, okay, here's the move I'm going to make.

And just call them and shop it, like Christina said. And that helps you put your budget together. Well, and they may say, you know, you need two months as a deposit. And then you have that clarity. You set aside $2,400, $2,500. And then you continue with the debt snowball because i love how aggressive you've been the fact that you've already tore through 18 is amazing and i don't want you to lose that momentum just holding on to the money kind of getting complacent and waiting

all the way till april i think you guys can you know set aside the deposit and then continue with you know so much fire in your belly that you don't slow that down okay so we have a reality the reality is the move and let's let facts be our friends not theory and hyperbole and drama yeah that makes sense and that's kind of my biggest fear is i don't want to lose the momentum that we have going because we are on fire yeah don't don't oversteer don't over correct to make the move in other words and and so we're going to shut down and then we have seventeen thousand dollars and we needed four thousand to make the move no that would be silly that's oversteering right uh but if you need if you do a little bit of research

you figure we need three thousand we need thirty eight hundred bucks to make this move and then we're going to get our deposit back and when we move and we get that deposit back we'll throw it at the debt um you know we just play a little cash game here with hide the P under the shell. And, you know, then that's just good planning. But the unknown sometimes makes us oversteer and go into drama mode. Right. And drama mode can stop that momentum. I love that you called because you can hear it in your voice.

You are on fire. It gets me fired up just hearing you talk. Get it. Get it. Yeah. Get it. Well done. Amy's in Sacramento. Hi, Amy. How are you? are on fire it gets me fired up just hearing you talk so get it get it yeah get it well done amy's in sacramento hi amy how are you amy hello sorry about that yeah sorry about that that's okay how are you thank you so much for

taking my call i really appreciate it i'm new to the baby residency steps and i wish i knew about this a month before i bought my house. So my question is, did I buy my house on a emotional level? And should I have stepped back? So my question now is, do I gracefully determine how to get out of this house? Or do I make peace with myself and plan to save so that I eventually can stay here for quite a while. So what emotions were you feeling when you bought the house? So about seven months ago, my husband died and I have three children. One is 20, the other is 8, 17, and one is 11. And so I was, I was, you know, feeling all kinds of feelings and, um,

it's been a little bit hard, um, dealing with everything going on. The other rationale is, uh, we were also separated for about three years. Um, and it was not an amicable, um, even my divorce was never finalized, but, um, I felt like, you know, I definitely need to find stability for my three children. I want to make sure that all the changes that's going on since the divorce, and then especially now, that they're attending the same school, the same district, you know, and just have a stable home because I was renting after I separated. Amy, I'm so sorry what you've been through. I'm so sorry. Thank you. What did you pay for the house?

I did pay for the house. I said what did you pay for it? How much? It was like $765,000. Okay, and did you get a mortgage or use life insurance or how did you pay for it? So he had no life insurance. I've always been the breadwinner my entire life.

And when we separated, I paid alimony and child support as well. So that's the other rationale for why I felt like I need this. I'm not questioning. I'm just trying to figure out the math. Okay. Sure. There's a lot of reasons that are valid for you to have emotion around this. So what is your payment on your house?

Right now I'm paying, well, December 1 will be my very first payment. I'm paying right about $5,000 a month. $5,000 a month. Okay. And what is your income? Currently I make about $5,000 a month. $5,000 a month, okay. And what is your income? Currently, I make about $120,000. Okay. Honey, honey, stop.

You have other income coming in? Yes. I was just about to mention I have Social Security and a small pension from him. That amounts to how much? About $4,500 a month. Okay, so your take-home pay is about $12,000, right? With all this? With all this?

Yes. Yeah? Yes. Okay. Your house payment is very high. Yes. It's very high. I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

I'm so sorry how you got here. But regardless of how you got there or what your motives were or reasons for getting there, your house payment is very high. And you know that, and that's why you called. So I don't want to add pain to a life that's full of pain already, but I want you to really look at that and begin thinking about it. Christine Ellis Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Okay.

Financial counseling life hack moment. I just created a new segment for the show. From having done this, financial coaching, for 30-plus years, and having done it one-on-one, kneecap to kneecap to kneecap many times, started years ago doing it as a ministry in our church just to help people, and they would come in and I would sit down and help them do their budget and help them do their stuff, and it evolved into this whole thing that we all call Ramsey now. One of the things that I've seen over and over and over again, and it's so much so

that it's almost a stereotype. It's not always true, and generalizations are always dangerous, but I'll give you a generalization. I'll tell you what happens a lot, and this is a life hack for those of you out there, and you're facing it. It comes from our last caller, okay? A couple with two little kids in elementary school go through a divorce now right wrong or indifferent here's the math most of the time the husband makes more money than the wife not saying that's right just saying it's factual okay typically i sit down with a couple two jobs sometimes it's the other way around but it's oftentimes the husband makes more money than the wife or she's a stay-at-home mom which of course he makes more money than she makes at

that point the going through a divorce with little kids in the home going through a divorce period is an absolute um it's walking through hell barefooted i mean it's awful it's a horrible thing it's hard on mom it's hard on dad it's hard on family it's hard on friends it's hard on your church community it's hard on your kids it's hard on everybody everybody in the mix is hurting no one's thinking clearly and everyone's trying to take their little corner of the world and keep it sane in the middle of massive insanity and here's what normally happens mom and dad split up we now don't have a two-income family or now we have um a lady and mom the lady in the divorce with less income, certainly than she had before, but less income than he makes normally,

wants to keep the house that they bought based on his income being in the picture in order that the children can stay in the school because their lives are already up-eviled, their lives are already upside down, and to make them move and have to change schools in the middle of all that makes it almost unbearable for Mother Bear. And Mother Bear just wants to protect. And in the name of that, in the divorce settlement,

she gets the house with payments that she can't afford. And so she has traded one kind of stress unbeknownst. And with good noble intent, she's traded the stress of the children having to move and being uprooted out of a school to the children living in a household that is absolutely starving to death and broke due to a house payment they can't afford and so it became something that almost every single week i had the uh horrible job of sitting and looking at mama bear and explaining to her the best thing you can do for your children is to uproot them and live in a house you can afford after this is clear because you cannot afford this house you are living a you're trying to hold on to a picture as dr john

looney says of what was and make it what is and it is not there anymore and you cannot support this house payment on half of the income or less than half of the income or way less than half of the income in most cases. It ends up being in an effort to keep the kids stabilized in a highly volatile situation in their schools, you end up destabilizing them for the next decade because they're living with a single mom now who's working three jobs trying to keep a house that she can't afford so that they can not have to trade schools you traded one kind of destabilization one kind of stress in the house for the kids for another kind and unintentionally with noble intent you're trying to protect your children but you're making

a bad decision sell the house in the divorce almost. Sell the house and the divorce. Almost always sell the house and the divorce. Now, our last caller was different. They were separated. He passed away. And in the middle of all that, she bought a house she couldn't afford. That's a little different. But it still had the same net result. We've still got an 11-year-old and an older teenager who was 16 or 17

living in a house full of stress. And you could hear it in her voice. It was sad. It was very sad. And you could hear the remorse voice it was sad it was very sad and you could hear the remorse too yeah i made a mistake you could feel it yeah because she did make a mistake and it was it's not to shame her or to beat her up because i've done dumber things believe me but but you know what you have to be careful of is that in the middle of all of that crisis dr john talks about this all the time that our our critical thinking skills break down we just grab at anything that feels stable trying to keep

some version of our past life that we liked still intact going forward and in a lot of cases that takes the form of keeping the house after the divorce and the house is a house we can't afford and it's like trying to swim with an anchor tied around your ankle and keep your head above water for the next decade and that's why I run into a lot of divorcee ladies with little kids at home they're getting child support maybe they're getting alimony and but they're working three jobs to try to support a house payment to create this false sense of stability while being unstable right you know with the kids and it's just so sad because the intent is so sweet it's such a mama bear wonderful thing to think about to protect

the kids and the noble to take this but you're really not accomplishing your goal. Right, because what the kids need more than anything is you. They need your presence. They need your peace. And if you're stressed about money, if you can't afford your house payment, you're not going to be who you want to be. They would rather you be at home after work instead of going to your second and third job than go to that school. 100%. Kids change schools all the time.

Ask people in the military. Ask people in corporate America that move every two years. Kids change schools all the time. And they survive, and some of them even thrive in that situation. And so, you know, it's a falsehood to say, well, they're going to lose all their friends. They're 11. They're going to lose all their friends you're going to they're 11 they're going to be okay but you're you're you're bringing another kind of damage another kind of stress

into their lives in an effort to protect the other one that's an unintended consequence it's there was no one doing this it was not selfish greed it was not some uh you know a selfish uh princess that bought something that she couldn't afford this is a mama trying to take care of her kids so it's the highest of all motives the most noble of all motives but it's still ending in uh an unintended consequence that is actually worse than what they were trying to protect from right oh and i think's just, it highlights just that need to slow down when you're in those situations, when your critical thinking has gone down, you're in crisis mode to slow down because it is so easy to grasp at straws, to grasp at things that you think will help. Just taking that time to breathe and to, you know, just let what logic can come back, come

back. It's almost like the, it's really scary to rescue someone that's drowning because they can drown you, you know, because they're just flailing around out there. And there's a little bit of that going on, you know. And so this is just a life hack. Again, it's a generalization. It's not always true.

I have talked to people that, you know, they divorce a guy who's got $20 dollars and he leaves them 18 million dollars and they go pay cash for a house well shut up that's not how i'm talking about okay that's not that's not the thing or are you know in the divorce i get uh he makes a million dollars a year and i get alimony of you know enough to pay the payments and still have plenty of margin that's not what i'm talking about but i'm talking about a typical template is not any of those things a typical template is still in america right or wrong i'm not i'm not it's not right ladies ought to make as much for the same job as a man makes you know i'm not i'm not that guy so uh but uh but in in most households mom does

not out earn dad in America today, still. And so when she ends up with a house with a lesser income, and she oftentimes can't afford it. So that's a life hack for you. As painful as it feels like in the moment, the best long-term play is sell the house. It's just a house. It's just a school.

There are schools and houses everywhere. This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here. You can find all of our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. It's the only place to listen to the entire back catalog of episodes. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.