The Ramsey Show - App - Can I Have a Credit Card if I Pay It Off Every Month? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Money, Investing, Debt Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE

live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He has the Dr. John Deloney Show, where he talks about all kinds of things, like anxiety, like boundaries, like relationship issues. Turns out psychology has a lot to do with life and money. That's the rumor. Because behavior and money, oh, well, they're tied together.

Man. And so that makes him valuable to have around here and answer your questions about what's going on in your life. Open phones at 888-825-5225. If you want to join the Dr. John Deloney show ever, you can send an email to askjohn at ramseysolutions.com. Jason's in Houston, Texas. Hey, Jason, how are you? Good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

So I run a wholesale trading business, and so I have to spend around $40,000 to $50,000 per month on inventory. And so right now, I know how you feel about this, but right now I put it on a credit card, and basically it gives me around $2,000 a month in cash back. And so what I do is I just basically live off of the cash back, and then all of my business income, I just invest it. And so I was trying to see what the pitfalls of this are, I guess. So, yeah. Well, these kinds of plans only work if everything goes perfect

if your sales go down four months in a row you're freaking bankrupt right but i'm only buying i mean i'm only forty thousand dollars a month is only what you're buying? Right, right. No, I'm buying based on what my customers order from me. So it's like they order first, and then I just drop ship the item to them. Yeah. Then why are you having to borrow money? I'm not doing it to borrow money. I'm mainly just doing it because it's saving me $2,000 a month right now.

Okay, so they pay you, and you can use their money to do the drop ship. You don't need to do this. Yeah. Good. Don't do it anymore. You're playing with snakes, son. You're going to get bit. Okay.

No millionaire ever said I made all my money with cash back on credit cards. You're screwing around with rattlesnakes like it's a sport. Your risk meter is broken. Here's a better way to think, Jason. What are they getting from you? No company just gives money away for fun. So why are they giving you $2,000 every month? What are they getting from you?

Right. I guess that's my information that they get but they're also getting a long-term play with you they have their hooks in you dude because you've normalized this in your spirit and in your process listen here's the thing. Here's another example, okay? I used to, how old are you, 25? 19. 19, okay. When I was 22 years old, I started buying real estate with nothing down. And the rent I brought in on each property was more than the payment. But I was in debt up to my eyeballs on the properties, and I did not perceive that as risk because the cash was flowing.

Does that make sense? And here's what I did. That's called nothing down real estate. You buy real estate with nothing down. The bank finances 100% of it because you've got a deal on it, and it's the same kind of line of thinking that you're using and um uh here's what i learned 10 years later i knew i knew a whole bunch of guys that were 40 years old 50 years old 20 years old 30 years old that were doing nothing down real

estate a decade later let me tell you how many of them were not, how many of them were still doing real estate? Zero. We were all out of business because we were playing with snakes and we got bit. So here's a plan. You're obviously a great, you obviously have a good business mind. Your risk meter is not functioning well. You are not perceiving the risk that you are taking.

That's what I'm saying. And I didn't either. It is the beauty of youth, however. You know, this is the same. I'm the same idiot that used to go over a piece of plywood on a bicycle that was propped up by six bricks with no bike helmet, and then wonder why you get all your teeth knocked out of your head. You know, I'm the same guy.

The beauty of youth is you do not perceive risk. And it just looked like fun. Yes. And it looked like, how could this go wrong? It could only be more awesome. It could only be better. More bricks. If we get 2,000 back, let's try twice as much.

We'll get 4,000 back. Well, so here's what I do. So stop doing this, man. Go back to simple old people way of thinking and pay for your business as it goes, and then your business will survive up and down, and you will not get caught with the last man holding the beans and get your dadgum head taken off by these guys. I want to lean into what you said about this being in your spirit because I was an executive officer. i was a nerd in college no surprise and with the student government

and a year i was a treasurer so i worked i ran everything through my private credit card and accumulated the miles and then i just got a check reimbursement every month and it worked great i got these miles over here or whatever the things were back then and i was it was no worse to wear the school is always going to pay me back it's when my transmission fell out of my 88 trussell easy hatchback which was a dope car by the way easy hatchback was a dope car it was not it was off okay that was sarcasm it was like a big roller skate okay yeah it's a big roller skate pregnant I'm sorry, I missed that. Yeah, it was a big roller skate. Pregnant roller skate. So I had this check for $500. It was supposed to go to pay this thing off. Uh-oh.

But I'm holding this thing. And I literally needed transmission. Yeah. And thus started. Well, thus, you know, this is what happens with a pyramid scheme. That's right. I was floating this one to pay for this one. It's financial Jenga.

And it always comes crashing down. It's financial Jenga. But I'm the one that can beat it. Thus is the arrogance of youth. Or just the arrogance, period. You don't have to be young to be arrogant, but it helps. And mine caught me years later when I brought a human into the world, right? And it had piled and kicked and moved and punted and shifted, and we can roll it over here.

The debt, not the human. That's right. That's a real bet, too. But at some point, you pay the piper, and usually it just snowballs on you in the opposite direction. Well, yeah, because you do get, I'll use one of your terms, a psychological term, satiated. Yeah. You get used to, you know, a way of living if you hit the curve at 120 instead of 35 you get used to hitting the curve at 120 then when you hit it at 35 you feel like you're like you like you're crawling like

who would do this because everybody knows you can make it at 120 until you until the tire blows that's right and and then you figure out why the stupid thing had a sign up that said 35 not 120 and you know when you go rolling over the embank had a sign up that said 35, not 120. And, you know, when you go rolling over the embankment. Or there's a little bit of rain. And there's always these variables. And so the best way to get rich quick is get rich slow. It's the proven.

The data proves it. That's the best way to do it. Because otherwise you have to do it over and over and over again. I know. This is The Ram proves it. That's the best way to do it. Because otherwise you have to do it over and over and over again. I know. This is The a smart move. I get questions all the time about where to start and what to do first. One of the most crucial and affordable first steps to take is to protect your family and get term life insurance. I know it's not glamorous, but all the other steps mean a lot less if something happens to you and your family has no financial protection. Getting term life insurance needs to be a top

priority. I recommend 10 to 12 times your income and lock in rates for 15 to 20 years. This gives you plenty of time to get out of debt and build wealth. I've been recommending Zander Insurance for over 20 years, and they understand and live this strategy. And will take the time to help you find the most affordable term life rates. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. It's not that expensive, it's not complicated, and you need to do it now. Well, summer's almost here, but that does not mean you can take a vacation from your goals because you're a grown-up. I know the motivation to stay in tents can be struggling this time of year,

especially when that beach trip is right in front of you. Don't do it. And all the fun stuff. Listen, you need to stay on track. You're a grown-up. You're not a child out for the summer, okay? I'm sorry, but if you live like no one else, later you can live and give like no one else. It's about getting the small wins that lead to big results over time.

Then you can vacate any freaking where you want, any time you want. And that's exactly what you do with Ramsey Plus. Not the vacate, but the small wins. Ramsey Plus membership gives you the best digital money courses, Financial Peace University, and the tools that you need to keep moving forward, like EveryDollar. Lots of, I mean, it's a huge offering in there. Your goals are worth working for all year long. Stay motivated with a free trial.

Ramsey Plus, text TRIAL to 33789. It's a free trial. Text TRIAL to 33789. It's a free trial. Text TRIAL to 33789. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping. And with the new promos they run all the time, you save even more. Use the magic word, the promo code RAMSEY, and you'll get a deal.

All right. Today's question comes from Travis in Texas. My wife and I have a lot of resentment towards her family because they are not supportive of her. They didn't attend her college graduation. And at the last minute, they canceled being at the dinner where I asked my wife to marry me. Recently, we had a premature baby, which resulted in extended hospital stays and her family never visited. This also happens around holidays and birthdays.

My wife is more hurt than mad, but I hate the way they treat her. How do we move forward with her family? I think you move forward without her family. I think her family's sending you a lot of really clear signals that they don't want a lot to do with you guys. Everyone I know has struggled with this in some form or fashion, Dave,

which is I had this picture of what I thought it was going to look like when I got married. I thought our celebrations would look like this, and they always had two sets of grandparents there, and I always thought it would look like this, and then always had two sets of grandparents there and always thought it would look like this. And then it turns out it doesn't happen that way. And I think at some point you have to call what is what is and decide are we going to have a relationship on their terms and are we going to move on with our lives, mourn it, be sad, be brokenhearted about it, and then start controlling.

We can control this deal. What do you think? Well, that's probably one of the deepest hurts that's out there there is no hurt and it is a um and trevis i wish i could tell you that it wasn't um that it was very uncommon but it's not it's more common than uncommon what's uncommon is where everybody gets along remember you told when i first met you we talked about your and you said, I'm friends with all of my in-laws. And I looked at you and said, I've heard that like twice in my life ever. Well, you know, it's also a decision. That's right.

From both sets, right? And in our case, it wasn't hard because they're actually wonderful people, and they're fun. And, you know,ise's uh husband's parents whittemore's we go out for hamburgers with them without the kids we like them you know they're like friends real friends and so but we made the decision to do that rather than go why are they over there instead of over here why are you spending time with them and sunday afternoons they're always over there and you know because that's what people do is that bullcrap yeah and no wonder you know and so shut up you know just like don't be people do is that bull crap. Yeah. And no wonder, you know, and so shut up, you know.

Yeah. Just, like, don't be so dadgum needy. But there's nothing. But that's the thing. And that's what most people do is stuff like that. And something happened here. Like, it sounds like they don't like Travis. I was actually thinking they don't like you, man.

That's what it sounds like. But who knows? They don't approve of this marriage for some reason or another. That's what it looks like. And I don't know what that is. It could be something sick and bad. Or it could be that, you know, whatever. But one of the core principles.

You can't make them, Travis, you can't make them happy. No. So all you can do is just love your wife and hug her because she's hurting. Because the very people that she should be connected to for the rest of her life are not functional. Have chosen not to connect with her. They're not functional. So one of the things is a core principle of mine is behavior is a language, right? And so look at what they are telling you.

Not with their mouth, but with their actions. With their actions. Y'all are not a priority to us. We don't really care a lot about this new little baby. That's cool. We don't want to spend time with y'all on holidays. We don't really want to show up at your graduation. These marker moments in your life, they are opting out of.

They are telling you all you need to know about the status of this relationship. And so what y'all need to do is spend some time grieving it. You said it hurts bad because she's going to want to know for the rest of her life, what did I do yeah that my mom and dad would do well or even if you know if you know they go okay they i'm married travis and they told me not to and they told me they weren't gonna have anything to do she made a choice and she said yeah but but she never dreamed they'd follow through on it that's right and they did so you got to grieve it and then you got to own what comes next right yeah and it's heartbreaking

man and then hey when you're married to, provide some space for your wife to hurt every Christmas. And it may not be a big dramatic hurt, but understand that every year this is going to hurt again. Right? That doesn't go away. It just is. Every Mother's Day, every Father's Day. It hurts, man. And so provide some space.

Don't say things like, oh, you've got to get over this. It hurts. It just stinks when your mom says, you know what, I'd rather sit on my couch than come see you. And don't – and I also – I mean, you do what you want to do. I'm just being an old guy here talking. But I would say if she wants to reach out to them, that's fine. Don't tell her not to do that. Absolutely not.

If she wants to send her mom flowers on Mother's Day, do it. Every year. But also help her remember to keep her expectations low. The secret to happiness is low expectations. You are providing a gift because it's the right thing to do, not because you're hoping for an ROI on it, right? But there's not going to, you know, their track record, you should send your mom flowers,

but their track record is you're not going to hear from her. And you should send flowers because it's right, and's a way to honor not but don't don't don't be all upset when they don't call because they're probably not going to call that's right so but let's do it anyway you're going to send a graduation card because you it's the right respect a respectful thing they're not going to come right right and if they do what a bonus what a gift and if they don't it's it's what we knew was headed this way i hate that people live in this this is so much more common than we know it's i've got you know i i've often said sometimes the uh the hardest stage of parenting is to parent adult kids your kids as adults because you don't get to parent them anymore right they have to they get

to do what they want to do you just gotta love them and so you have to treat them like grown friends or something and it's very weird and strange. And the number of friends that I have that are disconnected from their grown kids after they got married and something went sideways is astronomical. So who's – help me with this, Dave, because I've wrestled with this. Whose responsibility is it to mend that? Is it the – part of me says it's the parents. Whose responsibility is it to mend any relationship? It cannot be one's the parents. Whose responsibility is it to mend any relationship? It cannot be one way.

That's right, everybody. It can't be one way. Yeah. You can go over and mend, mend, mend, mend, mend, mend, and they look at you like you're – Just keep pulling the threads out. And they keep shooting you in the face with a bazooka, then you can't mend that because that's just neediness and enabling, right? And codependency out your ears. Yeah. That's just neediness and enabling, right, and codependency out your ears.

But on the other hand, if anybody does throw a rope over the fence, grab a hold of it, and let's see if we can pull together. I have sat with a lot of people who have had loved ones passed away. I've never, ever heard somebody say, you know, we just told each other we loved each other too much. I said I was sorry too much. I've never heard that yeah i've only ever heard man i should but if they just look at you and go you're an idiot and you know i i don't want anything to do with you screw you yeah i don't care how many times you say you're sorry i don't care how many times you say i love you i don't care how many times you call me i don't care what you do you're just you know you're out of my life hello that's that's like you know she said she doesn't want to go out with you son there you go so quit

walking into traffic and get run over right at some point you're doing that to yourself right yeah and you know it's weird when it's uh in his case or her case her parents that's what's you would think they would be the grown-ups but they're often not a lot of times they don't have the emotional tools to who knows how screwed up they were from the generation before they may have to be doing the best they can with what they got i don't know i mean you're just dealing you're dealing with messed up human beings for sure and wait what travis can control here is his dignity continue to treat them with honor and move on with your life man yes that's very important to not uh as angry as you are at them for hurting your wife that you love, you still need to not condone their behavior but honor their position.

Fire plus fire ends up in bodies almost every bit of the time. Yeah, it doesn't do any good, even though it's really, really tempting. Oh, man. Wow. Thanks for the question, man. It's a solid one. It's heartbreaking. It's a solid one.

It's everywhere, though, brother. And I wish it wasn't at your place. Grieve it. Move on, man. This is The Ramsey Show. It's a solid one. It's everywhere, though, brother. And I wish it wasn't at your place. Grieve it. Move on, man. This is The Ramsey personality, is my co-host today here on the Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the Dead Free Stage, Kevin and Lydia are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Hey, we are psyched, Dave. Awesome. So good to have you guys. Thank you. Honored to have you. Where do you live? We are from just south of Knoxville in a little town called Maryville, Tennessee. No.

Yes, sir. Maryville. Did you know I was born in Maryville? We absolutely did. I love Maryville. Do they have a billboard out there, HOMA? No, they don't. Maryville is a wonderful town.

If you're a Yankee, it's Maryville, but it's Merville. Trust me. I've learned that the hard way. Way to go, guys. Well, it's an honor to have you guys. So how much debt did you pay off? We paid off $215,000. Love it.

And how long did this take you? About six years. Okay. And your range of income during that time? Starting was $80,000. Ending was $125,000. Wow, look at you. Way to go, guys.

So I'm going to guess that you paid off your house. We absolutely did. I'm looking at weird people! Absolutely. No house payment or anything! How old are you two? Mid-30s. I'm 37, Kevin's 35. And you have a paid-for house. What's are you two? Mid-30s. I'm 37.

Kevin's 35. And you have a paid-for house. Yes, sir. What's this house worth? About $320,000. Wow. Look at you. I love it.

That is so freaking cool. And right on track. I mean, you fit all the numbers that we typically see. Very well done. So tell us the story. What in the world happened? Well, you know what? The story started in Maryville.

You were the commencement speaker at our alma mater in 2009. So you went to Maryville College? We went to Maryville College. I did. Yeah. And an honorary doctorate. You do? I'm an honorary something or other.

I don't know what it is. Dr. Delaney, this is Dr. Ramsey over here. Yeah, who knew that? Trust me. He's going to make us all start calling him now. I got the little tassel stored somewhere. Really cool, Kevin and Lydia. That was pretty cool because my great-grandmother started the drama department there. Wow.

And back in 6, I believe it was, something like that. And my grandmother graduated from there. My wife, my aunt, both my aunts graduated from there. And, man, it was like a whole family week there week there awesome it was so cool to get to do that it was quite an honor yeah so you went to the school and went and lived in this town both uh yeah yeah i was born in marable but i was raised in a small town called von ohr just about 25 minutes down the road yeah and you know what she was uh lydia was your asl interpreter she's an american sign language interpreter and i was the guy in the crowd with my arms crossed saying what's

the deal about this guy anyway you probably remember me uh no and i the next day we had a road trip planned and we listened to at the time it was a new concept, this audio digital book, or I'm sorry, this digital audio book that we download, and we listened to it all the way to our trip, and all the way back. And at that time, we 15 months later, we paid off about $30,000 in student debt. And yeah, so we've been debt free ever since. But few years later, you know, we find the house that we want to raise our family in, and we absolutely just killed it. That is so fun. We paid off that house 24 years sooner than the bank wanted us to.

Way to go, y'all. Way to go. That's so cool. That is so cool. So the Total Money Makeover with a digital download stays on the road with y'all. Absolutely. Man, that probably took a while to download back then it did yeah on a little ipod touch yeah yeah playing on a cassette adapter yeah that is so fun yeah we had that thing on cd for a while and then of course when everything went to mp3 it was awesome and we

were able to shift it that's so cool y Fun, fun. So what are your degrees in? My degree is in American Sign Language Interpreting. Of course. Yeah, and I'm a teacher. I'm an educator, but I work for a tech company now in their professional learning space. Oh, that's neat. Very good. Good for you guys.

I'm so proud of you. Thanks, Dave. Excellent. How does it feel to not have a payment in the world? You know, it feels great. And, I mean, our goal this whole time was getting to that baby step seven because that really starts us out on the next chapter of our lives. And that is, you know, we always like to share with folks,

but in the Bible we see God working through three institutions or, you know, three human institutions, and that's fatherhood, marriage, and adoption. And so we wanted to adopt, and we want to help others adopt. And so starting this Friday, we're going to have a couple of new kids entering to our lives, and we fully intend to adopt them. And our vision is after that, we would love to just write a check every year for someone in our church to also do the same wow so they can they can adopt as well that is very cool

and you don't have any payments yes which means you can actually do this yes it's not a pipe dream you've actually mathematically figured out this is doable absolutely it's easier to help people when you aren't broke that's right you know what a neat idea i mean people are like everybody's got a lot of good intentions but they don't do nothing to get themselves in a position to be generous like you are i love it man and then you see the people in your church that can write a check to help out and you think well that person must be a fill in the blank, own some huge business or something. Nope. It's two really dedicated teachers that decided way back in the day, we're just going to live

our lives differently. And six years ago, we're going to pay off our house. That's incredible. Our house! Incredible. I love it. All right. Who were your biggest cheerleaders?

You know. Outside the two of you. Yeah. You know, we have our parents here, both sets represented here. And, you know, it was my mom in the mid-90s who I saw as a kid just paying off her house before it was cool, right? I mean, she just absolutely paid it off early. And that really inspired me. We saw that it gave her so much freedom to just pour out on her grandkids and to her kids.

And even as a teenager, I was just sitting there thinking, I want that as well. So they've just been great cheerleaders for us. Great. Awesomeness. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You guys are professionals. You've done it. Yeah, so I would say the key is really being on the same page. Whatever you have to do, I don't think there's any way we could have done this if one of us was dragging the other in either direction.

Not for six years. Yeah, so whatever it takes to figure out financially how you can make this happen. Right. um yeah right and dave i will always say that my key she she is standing right here because um i i might have been the philip fulmer on the sideline with the playbook you know drawing up the the plays and the spreadsheets and all that but she was the peyton manning on the field doing 95 of the purchases in our family and ensuring that we're staying on track and she likes uh she's always been the type she like loves composting she loves to see nasty things getting shrunk down smaller and smaller and smaller and that's exactly

what she did with this debt as well like she was the one who said can i press the button can let me click the button to make that number get smaller and smaller and smaller until and so now it's it's zero and we are we are so grateful for that. Well, get the kiddos into the shot. Their names and ages are what? Yes. So this is, we have Sophia is our oldest. She's 10.

This is Benjamin. He is eight. This is Elliot right here, who is five. And Gideon, who's three. All right. And two more coming next week. Yes, sir. More on Saturday. Yes, sir. I love it. They will be 12 and three. All right. And two more coming next week. Yes, sir. More on Saturday.

Yes, sir. I love it. They will be 12 and 10. All right. Wow. Very, very cool. Well, congratulations, you guys. We are so very proud of you.

We've got a copy of the Legacy Journey for you because you've put yourself in a position to be a legacy and live a legacy. It's beautiful. It's a great, great picture of winning. It's absolutely amazing. I'm so proud of y'all thank you very very well done also a copy of the total money makeover for you to give away and uh pay it pay it forward and we appreciate you six years six years was it worth it absolutely

yes sir absolutely looking at you right there it's worth it it was worth me getting up and coming down here today to get to meet y'all. Yeah, me too. Pretty incredible. I love looking at the lineage between a speech given nine years ago is going to impact the lives of a 12- and 10-year-old. Too adopted tomorrow. Good grief. Man, I'm about to cry.

Look at all that work. All right, y'all count it down. I love it. $215,000 paid off in six years, making $80,000 to $125,000. Let's hear a debt-free scream to god alone be the glory three two one man that is amazing you You never know. You never know. This is The Ramsey Show. Homeowner's insurance can be one of those set it and forget it kind of things. When you first bought your house, you may have gone with whatever coverage your lender suggested at the time.

Never thought about it again. But just because checking up on your insurance is easy to forget doesn't mean you can afford to forget it smart homeowners shop coverage every two to three years and make sure they have the best coverage for the best price you also want to make sure you have the right amount of coverage on your home because it's gone up in value and you might be underinsured it's been a while since you check your insurance talk to one of our endorsed local provider insurance agents. They're independent agents. They'll shop among a bazillion different companies, get you the best possible deal. Text HOME to 33789 and talk with a trusted insurance professional about the right coverage for you. Text HOME to 33789. Sarah's in Columbus, Ohio.

Hi, Sarah. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So a year ago, my mom passed away, and my dad asked me for help. She left a huge financial disaster, which shocked everybody.

And so I've been helping him over the last year, and we've paid off $36,000 in consumer debt, car loan, and credit cards. Good. And then he has a house payment. He owes $21,800 on the house, and he he has about 60,000 in a 401k and his budget monthly is really tight. I have $94 at the end of the month left over. And I was thinking about pulling money out of the 401k to pay the house off to free up more money monthly because there's a $400 dental bill. How old is he?

83. Yes. Okay. That's what I wanted to hear. Let me kind of walk through how I got there so that you can decide if you agree with the advice I gave you, okay? But the reason yes is this. $60,000 is not enough to fix his problems

any more than 40 000 is right his nest egg is not big enough you've got other issues you know because it's not 600 000 it's not 300 000 you follow me the difference that of the impact that 40 will make on his life being in the 401k versus 60 will make on his life the difference is not measurable it's so small you see what i'm saying in other words if you told me you had 40 or you had 60 it wouldn't matter it still just doesn't have enough it's just short right and you've done everything else you've scratched and clawed and gotten this other mess cleaned up good for you you're really doing a great job helping him thank you for doing that um so but but uh uh you know and you're not really pulling money out of this 401k to live on either are you he's not right no yeah and so not pulling money out of 60 or not pulling money out of 40

versus not having a house payment at 82 yeah get rid of the house payment that's how i did that yeah okay great thank you thank you for calling ouch yeah that hurts man so you know if you're 20 something and you're listening to the show right now that 82 year old guy's supposed supposed to inspire you to get your crap together so you don't end up there. Because $100 a month invested from age 25 to age 65 is $1,176,000. $1 million you will have if you invest $100 between now and 65. Twenty years later, you'll be that guy.

And that should also inspire every young couple out there to talk to one another so that when one of you passes away, which they will, there's not a surprise. Yeah. One of you handles all the money and that one dies. The other one is not only broke, but they're clueless. Right. And scared. And terrified. but they're clueless. Right. And scared. And terrified.

And thank goodness Sarah was there to step in and help. But both of you working the plan together, working your money together, knowing what's going on. I mean, in our situation, it's gotten so freaking out of control and complicated. We have this huge family meeting that includes the leaders of the company here once a year. If Dave dies this year, here's how it's going to go down. You should sell tickets to that meeting. And we go through this and this and this and this.

It's rather entertaining unless you're me. That's what I'm saying. There's some people. It's my Monty Python meeting. I'm feeling much better. It's just a flesh wound. But, yeah, I'm not going. But, yeah, I mean, we plan it out because I don't want that to happen because this is complicated for my kids to be overwhelmed or their mom to be overwhelmed and so forth.

And it's a lot of moving parts, and so it's really everybody needs to know. That's a really good point, John. All right. Abhi is with us, and let's see here. Abhi is in San Francisco. Hi, Abhi. Hi, Dave. Hi, Dr. Daly. How's it going? Great. How can we help?

Yeah, so I just wrote down one question that I had, and I would love to get your opinion on it, and I would like you to answer it as though I was your son, and you wanted me to, and you were coaching me like that. That's how I answer them. All right, awesome. But before I started, I just wanted

to mention, Dr. D, I love your show. I love the Rocket Diaries stickers and horse-nice and stuff. Keep it going. That's all I'm going to say. All right. Thank you. So I'm on baby step number three, and my safety net is $50,000, and I will get there by the end of the year. My partner and I are moving towards fiancé status.

So if we get married, our combined income will be $210,000 per year pre-tax. She's having a hard time understanding why credit cards are bad and why I would like not to have credit cards in my future family. She wants to keep her credit card around and be off chance that we go through our emergency fund for any reason. And her parents get sick and she really wants to go live with them. So if I was your son, how would you address this problem with my fiancée, girlfriend, if she's unwilling to draw a line with our family? And kind of basically told me, I'll do whatever I need to do in order to take care of my extended family, even if it means putting my future family in debt, stuff like that. And I just wanted to ask if Dr. Deloney could speak about...

What is her cultural heritage? We're both Indian, so it's like we always take care of our family and all that stuff, and I'm fine with that. But I'm just trying to understand, like, if Dr. Deloney had this issue, how would he deal with it? How would he convince his wife to go against the norm as well? Let's talk about the money part first. Well, the thing is this. Where someone says, if it bankrupts my current family because of cultural norms, I'm willing to do that to take care of my extended family.

I don't necessarily believe that flex. That sounds like somebody trying to let you know before we get married that my family is everything to me. And if someone's truly saying that, then that's somebody that I'm going to be apprehensive about tying myself to because they're telling me up front. You're not as important as they are. You are the least important person in my life. Right. Of those I love, you're at the bottom. Right.

And if our kids come along, they i love you're at the bottom right and if our kids come along they're going to be at the bottom too that also sounds like a grandiose statement that somebody who's not yet engaged not yet married makes um i'm gonna do this and this and this well congratulations you know you're not right you've never held your baby right um but i i i think it comes back there's there's a level of fear that she sounds like she has. Yeah, she addressed that with me as well. She said, you're asking me to do all these things, but we're not married, so I'm fearful that if you break up, then I'll be stuck in a situation

where I'm not totally aware of how to handle it. So I'm fine with that, but I'm just thinking, like, if we do get married, wait. Yeah, in order for you to get married, you need to be in agreement. That's exactly right order for you to get married you need to be in agreement that's exactly right whatever whatever the agreement is you need to be in agreement because i'm not you know thinking you're going to change someone after marriage either one of you is a bad bad bad plan that's right but now so here's the thing from a reality standpoint a mathematics standpoint if you make 210 000 a year and you have $70,000 in your emergency fund and you still need a credit card as a backup for a potential emergency, that is not a mathematical fact. That's a psychosis.

Right. That's mythology. That's a ridiculous fear that is not based in reality. Right. And so that's silly. Yes. Is what that comes down to. So that's screaming that I've got other kinds of insecurities going on that we need to understand. And sometimes that is a child is told their whole life,

you will have a credit card for emergencies, have a credit card for emergencies. And you will take care of me. And it's just a matter of looking down at the math. No matter what happens, you will take care of me. That's right. They're told that too. Absolutely they are. So I think you've got to get on the same page, man, and start way at the beginning addressing the fears that she's bringing into this relationship.

Yeah. And you can't really expect her to do things. Yeah. That's exactly what we would do. Hope that helps. Feels a little vague, but I hope it helps. Sorry, man. This is James Child, producer of The Ramsey Show.

Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.