The Ramsey Show - App - Can I Slow Down My Retirement Savings? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. My co-host on the air today, Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, a couple of times over, getting ready to be three times, launching a new book today for pre-sale. Yes. This is exciting. It's the pre-sale launch.

So, yeah, today you can order a copy of my new book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money. And it's understanding, discovering why you handle money the way you do and what to do about it. So I realized, I don't know, probably about two, three years ago, that for me, some of the big aha moments I've had in my life is when I've learned more about myself and who I am. And that self-awareness, I really think it helps you in your marriage. It helps you in your parenting. It helps you in your work environment. I mean, so much.

You know, the beginnings of this idea were with that and then one of the things we keep seeing is everybody's helped by that if you know kind of what like we see when we started years thousand years ago when i started teaching fpu way back you know are you a spender or a saver are you a nerd or you're free spirit now we got people standing on the debt-free stage one t-shirtshirt says nerd, one says free spirit. They self-identify. Yeah, that's me. And it helped them understand and how to communicate to the other person. Yeah. I mean, it gives you language when you start to understand yourself. And then, you know, from my story, I looked up and I was like, man, I wonder what if I applied all of this to my money, all this awareness of, okay, who I am,

everything from how I grew up to my natural tendencies, to my fears. I mean, all of it has to do with who you are as a person, but it also affects the way you handle money. So at Ramsey Solutions and this show, you know, we're incredible at teaching people the how. This is how you do it. This is how you get out of debt. This is how you budget. This is how you invest. This is how you become a millionaire. This is how, and we're brilliant at it. And we help people and give them such freedom in that. And so I thought, okay, what if I kind of go under that foundation of the how and ask the questions? Why, why am I, why, why do I tend to be a spender? Why, um, why do I feel like I, I get nervous if there's like a scarcity set, you know,

a situation in my life and I feel myself grab onto money tightly when my spouse is just freely spending, like, like asking those kind of questions really helps you kind of diagnose yourself and your money habits, but also helps you with what you're saying to the people around you. I'm like, if you're married and you and your spouse just cannot seem to get on the same page and you keep missing each other,

you need to read this book. Because maybe you say, oh my gosh, that's why I understand that now. That's why he does this or why she does this. And so it really, it gives you language and helps you. Well, if you grew up in a family that was way functional with money and your spouse grew up in a family that was way dysfunctional with money, you and Winston had an advantage.

Both of your families were good with money. And both families were good with conflict as well. And consequently, we actually love Winston's parents a lot. We're like best friends. We love them. I mean, even if y'all weren't around, we would hang out with them. And so they're our kind of people, you know. But most people don't have that.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's the first part of the book is about your upbringing and realizing, okay, you know, did you grow up in a household where things were communicated? So whether maybe you communicated about money, like I, that's the household I grew up in because you're my dad and like, this is what you did and you talk about it and it's very normal, very natural. But some people, I mean, it was, it was taboo. It wasn't said, it wasn't spoken on. And so you didn't, you never really knew, but then you felt the emotional side of the

household. So some emotional households were very stressed when it comes to money. Like you knew, okay, you know, the bills are coming. Our mom's getting stressed here. They're getting in fights here. Like, you know, you start to feel the tension. Some households, it was a very free emotional side when it comes to money that, you know, there wasn't a lot of stress.

There wasn't a lot of anxiety. And so all those kind of like, you can kind of pinpoint yourself. But fast forward, you're 27 or you're 47 and you go, oh, that did form part of the way I look at money. So when money comes up, I feel stressed. Well, because mom and dad always felt stressed. And that was the only thing that was communicated to me. Yes, absolutely. And this is why I'm avoiding conflict because, hey, it's just easier just to like sweep it

under the rug because I don't really want the conflicts. Like, we're good. I'll just let him do it or I'll just let her do it. And that's why some people avoid even having conversations about money. So there's so much there. You could probably write a whole book on just that one section. That's one of eight of the sections of the book. But man, it is huge to discover yourself and why you do the things you do with money.

Because for all of you listening, as you're getting out of debt and you're walking the baby steps, my hope is that you just don't white knuckle your way through it and just be like, oh, we're just going to get through it. It's going to be a terrible two years. It's going to be terrible. Which, yes, there's a lot of sacrifice when you get out of debt and you're on baby steps one through three. But when you can kind of understand, okay, that's why I'm doing this and this and this, it almost, I think, allows you to not only win with money faster because you can control your habits and your decisions with money, but it also gives you a little freedom that you're like, okay, I can kind of breathe a little easier because now I'm understanding why that's bothering me. Yeah. Or why I'm naturally good at that and it's bothering my spouse.

Yes, that too. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, it seems like, why don't you get this? Yeah. You know, why don't you get this? And well, they came, they have a whole different, you know, they're not a spender. They're not a saver.

They're not a nerd. They're not a free spirit. They're not a saver. They're not a nerd. They're not a free spirit. They came up in a different household. And so when you go through all these different lenses and you use. And your fears. Everyone has different money fears. So I outlined six of those in the book. I mean, your fears around money cause you to make decisions with money because you don't want your greatest fear to come into reality.

Yeah. Don't ask your mother about that. Oh, good. The book's already written okay what do you mean her fears about money no fears are the fears are that we're going to go back to bankrupt even though there's not a chance oh there's that there's that's one of the fears that i'm i'm gonna that my past mistakes they're going to catch up with me i'm going to go back to where i was or i'm gonna i'm i'm gonna be like my parents that's a fear yeah

it's that kind of thing i grew up like this and i i never ever want to go. So I'm going to make all these decisions so I don't go back to that place. The number one financial fear for women, it's the lack of security. When you feel like it is not stable, man, your fear and your tension rises up. Even in me, I feel that sometimes. So it's a real thing. And I think, again, this book hopefully will give you some light bulb moments, some aha moments, but also do something with that, help you in your money journey and with the people around you. I mean, we can help you. We've always been, as you said, brilliant about helping you heal the how-to, how to get out of debt. We can heal your debt.

We can show you how to do it. We can heal that. But this is more of the emotional scars or you have the emotional scars yeah or the emotional healing and the spiritual healing yeah that goes with it and um you know when i went through the process of going bankrupt and then learning the stuff that we teach now uh part of what the lord took me through was a was a spiritual healing too and i sometimes forget that people separate those two because i did it all at once yeah absolutely, absolutely. Know Yourself, Know Your Money is the new book. It goes on presale today.

If you'd like to take the easy money quiz and start to know yourself, it's a free thing to take a free quiz. Take the money quiz. Text money quiz to the one word to 33789. Money quiz to 33789. Of course, you can get the book at DaveRamsey.com, and you can pre-order it starting now. If you pre-order anytime between now and the time it comes out, January the 5th, we're giving you plenty of notice. You get over $50 in free bonus items. Know Yourself, Know Your Money audiobook read by the author. Know Yourself, Know Your Money e-book

and the exclusive video lesson from Rachel Cruz on this subject. You're going to be hearing a lot more about this subject and about this book in the coming months as a part of Ramsey Plus, as a part of this book coming out in January. It will be yet another number one bestseller for Rachel Cruz. Discover why you handle money the way you do and what to do about it. The new book is Know Yourself, Know Your Money, rachelcruz.com or davramsey.com. Most people's money problems come from not paying attention. That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something, I do the research and I make sure it's going to live up to what it claims. Recently, I got a great pair of sunglasses from a company called Shady Rays. When you're looking for sunglasses, it feels like your options are limited. Name brand sunglasses cost too much and the cheap knockoffs are ugly and they don't really protect your eyes. Discovering Shady Rays

is a game changer. With Shady Rays, you can count on premium sunglasses that protect your eyes and get this they're affordable they give people the best overall value in sunglasses they also replace your shades with a brand new pair if you lose or break them from day one of your purchase plus they offer an exclusive for ramsey show Right now, you can grab most polarized pairs for just $28 at ShadyRays.com with the promo code DAVE to get $20 off your first pair of Shady Rays. You can pre-order Rachel Cruz's new book, my co-host today here on the air, at DaveRamsey.com or RachelCruz.com, either one. The book is Know Yourself, Know Your Money.

You've got to zoom in and let the youtubers see the cover and the rest of you look deeply into your radio come on zoom in guys those are you with the camera people i'm giving i'm giving directions to camera you are and uh very quickly very good excellent see there you go i love it it looks great it's a great cover thanks thanks thanks yeah it was it was fun that's all that process is always interesting very cool good stuff open phones at 888-825-5225 the book is know yourself know your money and again you can take the money quiz it's free by texting the word money quiz to 33 789 just by doing that you'll start the discovery of yourself process and the discovery

of your spouses yes but um you know it's a little bit like when we uh first saw the disc profile stuff 30 years ago 35 years ago the first time i saw that or the the uh i had ian cron on last week the enneagram and you go oh well that's you're a three and you're a nine and you know it helps you understand the other person helps you understand yourself and your tendencies and those types of things our friend Marcus Buckingham with Strength Finders and this is not a test like that is this is uh more of a journey through the different situations it is and and after each of the sections of the book though you do you do have a little bit of an assessment of whether you're plotting yourself on a quadrant or a a line between this extreme and this extreme and there is a there is a little bit of it but you're right yeah you're not going to get but there's not

at the end there's not one massive test no there's not you're like an enneagram aid or something no no no you're right you're right yeah but there is uh that level again yeah of self-discovery and i think it's uh it's very helpful i mean as i was writing it, Winston and I, my husband, we were both laughing. I was like, if we had, if we like recognize some of this even early in marriage, it would cause probably us not to have some of those moments where you're like, what? Why did you do that? Now I'm like, oh, okay. I get that because you're more lean this way versus this way.

Even Dave Ramsey's daughter had those issues in marriage. Oh, sure. Dale is in Annapolis, Maryland. Hey, Dale, welcome to the Dave Ramsey's daughter had those issues in Maryland. Oh, sure. Dale is in Annapolis, Maryland. Hey, Dale, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thanks, Dave. How are you doing today? Great, man. How can I help?

So we are in Baby Step 2, trying to pay down debt. And my question is, we are sitting on some bonds that my wife's parents had bought for her throughout the years. And so we're wondering if we should cash those bonds in order to pay down debt. My two main concerns, one is from my wife, one is from me. My wife is concerned that our cars are going to go kaput in the next year or so. And so she wants to be able to buy a new car and might use those bonds to do that. And my concern with using the bonds is it will push our income status up

to the point where we would not receive insurance anymore because my current job does not offer insurance right now. And so just trying to get your thoughts on that. I don't think it'll push your income up because it's not an income source. I don't know who's calculating this, whether it's a state insurance program or what, but most of the income-based decisions on the furnishing of a state or a federal benefit are not affected by the sale of investments. They're looking at your adjusted gross income in most cases. So I don't think that's going to happen.

As far as your wife's situation goes, here's the thing. How much debt have you guys got? Just shy of $22,000 student loans. And how much are these bonds? About $14,000. Okay. Just shy of 22 grand student loans. And how much are these bonds? About 14 grand. Okay. And what's your household income? Just over 28 grand.

Okay. So she's not working? That's correct. And you're underemployed. Why? I'm a part-time pastor so okay most part-time pastors have a full-time job um right now my denomination is holding me to a part-time status yes

no i'm saying 88 of the pastors in in North America are bivocational. Oh, yes, they are. Why aren't you? Don't have a good reason for that. You're starving to death. Not necessarily. Yeah, necessarily. You're at half of them.

You're at the poverty level. How many kids have you got? One kid. We don't have mortgage. We don't have rent. We don't have utilities. We have none of that. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate you serving the Lord, and I'm not trying to sell you not to do that or not to live your dream. But you don't have any money is your problem. And so your wife has a valid concern about the cars going kaput. But what I would tell you is, Rachel, you jump in. I'd get your income up because I think you need to pick up some side income until you get the full-time gig within your denomination.

And if you add $1,000 a month to your income, you dadgum near added 50% to it. Right. You know, I mean, that's nothing. That's delivering pizzas occasionally. The church and I are in talks to move me to a three-fourth status and then a full-time status as well. Yeah. Well, I'm just moving you to it. I'm moving you to 80 hours right now.

I'm in talks with you because your family needs to – you need money. Yeah, and I think, Dale, I think it's for that short period of time that this isn't your long-term play, obviously, to be working on the side and doing this and being a pastor half the time ideally yeah you probably want to be a pastor full-time and when that time comes i think that's a great time to transition because your income will go up but in this moment to get you guys out of that twenty two thousand dollars cashing out the bonds keeping a little bit if you need to if you know you're going to replace that car it's not going to be a great car so don't be saving you know eight grand of it uh to go towards the car but

get a beater do what you have to do because after know eight grand of it uh to go towards the car but get a beater do what you have to do because after you do that you're going to have around eight nine ten thousand dollars left of that debt of that twenty two thousand i want you to clear that in like six months that's right that's so again very short term you can kind of see the facts that like you map it out and you say okay yeah this is very very possible and then you can pull back your income if you guys choose to after your emergency fund is fully funded and maybe by that time your your church your denomination is getting you into more of a full-time gig as a pastor okay let's let's

kind of dial back just a second all right 14 from 22 gives me eight thousand dollars in debt go make eight thousand dollars in the next four or five months but do you think they need to say he needs to say a little for the car? No. The cars are going to make it. It's whining. You're just whining. Okay?

And you're going to have to get your income up. It's just, you know, the thing is she's afraid it's going to be a $28,000 income the rest of her life. Well, I'm with her. What if her car really isn't the last leg? But I'm saying if the $28,000 income is going to last for 10 years, that's fine. Fair. If you're going to go get a part-time job and adequately provide for your household, which you're not doing now,

then you clean up the rest of this mess very quickly and you save up for some cars. Because, Pastor, listen, I've worked with pastors for 30 years. I love pastors, and I love the military, and I love folks in first responders. These are the people, man, these are the people of our society that are the heroes and teachers i can make a list of you people but i mean i you guys we work we've worked with 50 000 churches since we began and i have been in more situations where i've sat in a pastor's living room with them and their spouse going over their budgets loving them

i love you guys and you're starving to death, my son, and you're serving the Lord. So I appreciate you. I appreciate your big heart, and I appreciate how your mind is completely focused on one thing, and that's serving God. And I'm telling you, as the guy in your household, your household needs more money, young brother, right now,

and you need to go get you some in the short term and there's nothing unholy about that as a matter of fact that is an extremely holy act in this situation because you're taking care of your own household first and that is nothing but me loving you right there man and i and please don't even think that i don't understand where you are. I completely understand where you are. I've worked with hundreds, if not thousands of men, just exactly where you are over the years. And I understand your heart and I understand the denominational limitations and understand all these other things that are going on. I completely understand. It's what I do. And so you got the stuff. You have an income problem, sir. Get your income up. Get rid of that.

Then go get you some cars. Then get your emergency phone in place or whatever you do there. And we're going to pay for you to go through Ramsey Plus for one year. I'm going to donate it to you as our way of saying thank you for serving the Lord. You've been sacrificing for God. And I don't want your family to be between you and that sacrifice anymore. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. families all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs whether they're anticipated or completely unexpected for example take the

olcheski family from lagrange texas je Jeff and Carice had just celebrated the birth of a new baby boy. Shortly after, they had another expensive medical issue come up. They could have faced a huge financial setback. But thanks to Christian Healthcare Ministries, the Olcheskis were spared from a ton of medical bills. As members of CHM, they're part of a group of believers who financially and spiritually support each other. CHM is the longest-serving health cost-sharing ministry and is a Better Business Bureau-accredited charity. It's Christians helping other Christians, and it shared nearly $97,000 to help the Olcheskis. To be a part of Christian Healthcare Ministries, visit chministries.org.

That's chministries.org. That's chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Number one bestselling author a couple times over, Ramsey personality, and my daughter, Rachel Cruz, is my co-host today on The Dave Ramsey Show, answering your questions about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Eric's in New York. Hi, Eric.

Welcome to the show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. Eric. Welcome to the show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? All right. So I'm 21 years old. I'm debt free and I have $13,000 in the bank. And I want to know, should I be investing this money at this point or should I just hold on to it for now as an emergency fund? And if I should be investing, what should I invest it into and

how much dude are you engaged no because you're a fairly rare find you're what's known as an eligible bachelor you actually know how to work make money save money and not be in debt to your freaking eyeballs you're an awesome young man thank you i thought you were about to give him like love advice. No, I don't give him love advice. I'm an old fart. Where is this going? Eric, what we teach is after paying

off all of your debt, which you've done, obviously you don't have debt, is to get that emergency fund in place. You could square away that $13,000. Is it $13,000? Is that what you said? $21,000. No, he said $13,000 though. $13,000. Is it $13,000? Is that what you said? $21,000. No, he said $13,000, though. $13,000, right, Eric? I'm 21 years old, and I have $13,000.

Yes, that's it. Perfect. I got it backwards. Okay. So for that $13,000, that could be your emergency fund. So being in New York, obviously your expenses are extremely high. Yeah, I really don't have that many expenses right now, though, because I'm living at home, and I'm going to college, but I was very fortunate.

My grandparents were able to save up and pay for that for me. Okay, so I don't... Okay, I would not invest it. I would just hold the 13 as an insurance policy to ensure you finish school with no debt. I know your grandparents got it covered, but I don't want any excuses between now and graduation for you to have any debt. And you are the best investment you can make until you graduate from school. What are you studying? I'm a psychology major and a minor in business administration. Cool. What are you planning to do? That's a whole other question. I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with that yet. I've been thinking about going into human resource management.

Good. Okay. Yet another reason to have a little bit of cash pad rather than have the money invested. How did you get this money? Just saving up and just working part-time jobs, you know, throughout college and the summer. I'd say I'm a natural saver. Yeah, you're a natural saver and you're self-disciplined and you got your eye on the prize. I want you to continue to build that. I don't care if it gets to $50,000 and if it's just sitting there in your savings account. I know that sounds mathematically unpalatable, but Eric getting his degree is a better rate of return on that money than a mutual fund will give you. All right. Because if you'll apply the knowledge that you're getting to a good career track, then where you make some good money as a result of having gone to college,

and then on top of that having done so debt-free with mainly your grandparents but also your frugality and being careful, then you get out. It's boring. Everybody wants to say, oh, go do a mutual fund with a Roth IRA. You can do that if you want. But if you run into a bump in the road, then you have to cash it out or you'd have to borrow a student loan. And I'm not going to tell you to do either one of those. Well, that and after you graduate college, that transition from college to the real world, if you decide to move out to L.A. or something, you know, moving costs, getting your life started as an adult, it takes some cash to be able to kind of like prop yourself up and say, okay, this is what I'm going to do. And having that cash in the bank allows you to have options.

So you can maybe go move to a place that maybe you couldn't have afforded if you didn't have that $13,000 just liquid right there. Absolutely. Bill's in Boise. Hi, Bill. How are you? Hi, Dave and Rachel. How are you? It's an honor to talk to you.

You too, sir. How can we help? you hi Dave and Rachel how are you it's an honor to talk to you you too sir how can we help so I have a question of do I have enough in retirement that I could slow down my contribution to retirement and put it on my mortgage I'm currently my wife and I are currently debt-free, except for the mortgage. We have our emergency fund. But recently we got a good-sized chunk of money, but it's all in retirement. So our net worth is about $2.3 million, but almost all of it is retirement. I'm putting 15% of my income into retirement now.

What do you owe on your home? About $175,000. How old are you? 51. Okay, and you got a chunk. So you got an inherited IRA or something? It was actually the company I worked for was an ESOP, and they recently sold, so all my ESOP shares were given out and moved it to an IRA.

And what's your household income? About $120 a year. Oh, you've done so well. Congratulations. Thank you. Very well done. Obviously, mathematically, if you never touch this again, if you never add a dime to $2.2 million, it'll double roughly every seven years.

So, you know, when you're 60, you said you're early 50s, right? Yes. So when you're 60, this is going to be worth $5 million, and when you're 65, it's going to be worth $10 million, and that's without adding a thing to it so can you stop and concentrate on the mortgage and not add anything to it uh-huh yeah you can and if i could find it you don't have any money anywhere except in retirement uh except for emergency fund about fifteen15,000 cash in the bank. I mean, you are retirement plan poor.

Yes. You've done no side investing. You don't have any assets of any kind that are no money, no mutual funds, nothing except retirement. That's correct. We just got out of debt recently, and so we were working on that and didn't have any assets, and then this ESOP money came in. Yeah. How much of the 2.2 was the ESOP?

About 1.8. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Yeah, that's like you hit the lottery, but it's all stuck in that. Okay.8. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Yeah, that's like you hit the lottery, but it's all stuck in that. Okay. Wow. Yeah, I mean, you're good. I'd stop and concentrate on the mortgage.

It's highly unusual. I mean, how many times did you hear me not do the baby steps? I was like, what's he going to say? I was like, I'm not going to do the baby steps. But I just, yeah, you're done, dude. You're good. It's a very unusual set of mathematics. Highly unusual. And congratulations. I'm so glad that you're done, dude. You're good. It's a very unusual set of mathematics. Highly unusual.

And congratulations. I'm so glad that you've won at that level. Man. Our question of the day, Rachel, is from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer. Custom window coverings. You get samples that are free. Shipping that is free.

New promos all the time. Always use the magic word, the promo code RAMSY, and that's blinds.com. Question? Yes. This question comes from Allie in Nevada. My husband and I just started our baby steps in May. We have about $48,000 left in debts. Both of our incomes are 100% commission as we both own our own businesses. So the amount is never guaranteed and neither is a paycheck. The last

three months, the way I've been budgeting is taking money we have on the first and allotting it out. And then any paychecks we get during the month, we reserve for the next month. We're moving into our slow season soon. And since we used all of our reserve to pay off debt, I'm having a hard time emotionally. It's unnerving not to know that we may not have rent in December because we're giving every dollar a purpose. What are your suggestions? Well, we always said cover your four walls. So the idea of not having rents, I understand. So rent, food, utilities, and transportation are the things that you want covered first and foremost.

So before anything else, Sally, that's where your money needs to go. And considering you are 100% commission, you do have to plan for that. So when you have months that come that are bigger than normal, you need to put some of that aside for savings in addition to your emergency funds. So when the months get low, you just kind of bring it out of that. So you do kind of have to tiptoe your way through it and be very, very diligent to making sure those four walls are covered. Second thing is you've got a little while between now and December. If you know that's your slow season, let's think about a different product line

or some other things you can add to the business that are go-go during December. Lots of direct-to-consumer retail stuff is ZoomZoom in December. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Well, the crisis this year has left a lot of people scared about their money. And all they know is they never want to be in this situation again but they have no idea how to start and there's one way you can help and that's by helping us by being a financial peace university coordinators coordinators are everyday people they're not gonna have a master's degree in finance well maybe one or two do but most don't you walk people through our proven plan to get out of debt, get away from emergencies, and actually become wealthy. So you have a never again moment.

Never again are we going to be here. And if you want to be a coordinator, if you'll lead a virtual class from home right now, just for leading a class, we will give you a free ramsey plus membership for a whole year now that's known as a deal all you gotta do is coordinate a class and you have your membership to ramsey plus free for a year that includes financial peace university every dollar includes the baby strip tracker the, the Learn Budget and Track. Learn Budget and Track. So if you want a free membership to Ramsey Plus, lead a virtual class. Text the word LEADFPU to 33789.

LEADFPU to 33789. Rachel, a lot of people are having real cool experiences doing these virtual classes. It's a different kind of a thing. And a lot of things that are virtual are substandard. They're not as good as in-person. Yeah. But these virtual classes actually have some elements to them that are better than an in-person class because of the way they're connecting with the people, the lack of time to set up a class.

The coordinators have to go and get a room. They have to have a DVD player. You know, they have to, you know, get chairs and all that, you know, that kind of stuff. And, you know, all they got to do now is just flip open their computer. Yeah, it for sure makes it easier. I mean, on that end, right? I mean, like the setup and everything, you just do it from your home right there. You can even, I've even heard a few say, yeah, once the kids go down, we set our class time

right after bedtime. So there's no distractions and we just have a good. Yeah. Doesn't that babysitter problem? Do it. Yep. Exactly. So yeah, there's a, there's a lot of benefits, a lot of benefits of doing online.

And I think there's some elements, I think we've all experienced zoom calls or whatever it was because of COVID, you know, your home and you're having to like figure out technology and there is some clunkiness and getting used to it. But the great thing is too, I find, I mean, I even had a Bible study that we went on zoom, uh, for like two months because everyone was kind of scattered everywhere and couldn't get back and all that. And, and I don't know when you're in your own home and you're just kind of relaxing, it's, it's, there's a weird technology thing at first, but once you kind of get over that hump of connecting with like a screen, it almost makes you feel more comfortable because you're kind

of in your own environment and you're just comfortable where you are. I find that too. People open up just because of that. Yeah. Some people got too comfortable and they added 19 pounds. The COVID-19. Oh, yeah. It's like the freshman 15.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The COVID-19. I've heard that too. It's a thing. It's definitely a thing all right sarah is in milwaukee hey sarah welcome to the dave ramsey show hi thank you for taking my call sure how can we help um we're a family of three and we currently

rent an apartment and our situation is that we originally signed a contract with one of my husband's friends and a contract a contract for what oh i'm sorry for a realtor we're renting looking for a house now oh and he's a buyer's agent? Yes. Okay, all right. And we thought we were making the right choice signing this realtor contract, but as we moved along since last October, he just wasn't doing a lot for us. We always had to call him to open doors. So we're in this kind of sticky situation and now we're stuck in this contract with our realtor until October, but we're looking to move almost now. We're on babysat four and five now. And so we're wondering what can we do to get out of our contract without hurting feelings since it's my husband's friend,

as well as hopefully not paying fees to get out of our contract. I'm not paying a fee. He hasn't done his job. So let's just take that off the table. But, Sarah, are you saying the contract has fees and you're asking about that? No, they signed a buyer's contract saying if they buy a house that he gets paid. But he's going to release you from that contract because he's not done his job. Because you've had him since October, right, Sarah?

Yep, and it's a one-year contract. I know, but that's just BS, okay? So your husband just needs to call his buddy and go, Look, George, sorry, man, I love you, but you suck as a realtor. And so we're still friends, but you're going to send me an email right now releasing me from this contract. I'm done.

Now, he can be nicer than that. I was going to say, he needs to be nicer, sir. I know. But I mean, that's the bottom line, right? If he's your friend, he should let you out because he hasn't done his job if he doesn't i'm going to his broker going to his managing broker and we'll raise cane okay by then the friendship's gone by the way yeah and sarah i think the goal here is is not to lose the friendship over the home i mean the the of the So the, okay. Dave just gave me a face. Okay. No, seriously though,

I think sitting down, I mean, I'm thinking if I'm in his position and one of my best friends had something and I signed something with her, she didn't do her job. I think I would sit her and be like, Hey, listen, we had a goal by this for the bet for the good of my family. We're going to have to move on to something else because we have to do this. And like, and I wish it worked out, but it didn't. and so my goal here is to save the relationship i don't want to be awkward so i'm going to just say it out loud this is what we're dealing with and hey how can you help me get out of it yeah and that's it if you do that and they don't let you out then you didn't have a friendship to start with yeah i mean if you

didn't let you out of it that's weird for sure for sure i agree with that yes i mean reverse the reverse the shoes okay you didn't do your, and your friend came to you, Sarah. You would let him out, right? Right. I would, too. Absolutely. Do you feel like that conversation will go okay with your husband and the friend? I would think so.

Yeah. I know my husband's nervous about it. Yeah. Sure. Understandable. I'm nervous that your husband signed a contract with this guy in the first place so now your husband needs to clean this mess up he needs to sit down with this guy tomorrow and have a cup of coffee tomorrow which as a sidebar Sarah too this is a great

point that we always talk about your home is one of your, if not your largest asset that you have in your life. And so many people do this. They have a friend, they have an aunt, they have a dog walker's grandmother. I mean, it's just like the craziness of people that let people sell their homes, which is their largest asset, which is a huge mistake. That's one reason we have ELP, our endorsed local providers for real estate agents across the country, because it's like you need someone good. And I think, I mean, we've been in positions where friends want to offer their services, but it's a big deal financially. And we're like, I'm so sorry. I'm so thankful you're willing to. We're going to go this other route though. And so just be so mindful, everyone out there listening, that when it comes to your home, get someone that is good. Because again, this is a place that

almost anyone can become a real estate agent. I mean, you take a few classes and all that, not to downplay the industry, but it's really easy. So a lot of people get into it that aren't that good. A monkey can get a real estate license. Getting a real estate license, a monkey can get a real estate license. It doesn't make you a real estate agent just because you got a license. And so, you know, yeah, you've got to break this out.

Rachel's exactly right. It's too large a thing. And so, you know, yeah, you've got to break this out. Rachel's exactly right. It's too large a thing. So here's the thing, Sarah. Big deal. Your family, your home purchase, little deal. Hubby's friend's feelings are hurt. Really. I mean, so you need to sit down with him,

give him every opportunity to be a man himself and do the right thing and release you but um i'm just not hey let me tell you rachel we bought the lot that our house is sitting on yeah and it had a lot of zeros on it it's an expensive lot on a big old hill and i bought it through our elp who brought me the deal yes and he got paid a nice commission i got deal. Yes. And he got paid a nice commission. I got a real estate license, but he got paid a nice commission. I didn't cut him out. He brought me the deal. And some friend of your mother's who'd had her license three weeks got all pissed off.

Well, kiss my butt. I mean, really. You get no, you got no standing to be picked. You didn't bring me into that lot deal. You're dadgum right I didn't. You've had your license 36 seconds. And just because you work out the why doesn't mean you can with my wife. Sarah, you can save the house and the friendship.

I believe in you. I know. Well, I'm still friends with that woman. But, you know, my God, she's completely out of line. This friend of theirs is completely out of line. I agree. He hasn't delivered and he hasn't offered to release them. So, I mean, that's how this works.

This ain't rocket science. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey Network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows. Ask Dave money questions like, how do I invest my money? Or what is the debt snowball? Find out more at DaveRamsey.com slash smart speaker.