The Ramsey Show - App - Combatting Impulse Spending (Hour 2)

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

This is the Ramsey Show where we help you win in life. I want to help you win in your money, win in your relationships, and win in your work. If you're winning in those areas, you've got a shot at having that freedom that you long for. 888-825-5225 is the phone number. 888-825-5225. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney joins me this hour, and we get to the phone. Salt Lake City, Utah is where Aaron joins us. Aaron, how can we help? Hey, John. Hey, Ken. I am looking for permission to build a second home in the mountains. My wife and I have been super intentional for over a decade, and I think we're in a position to do it, to pay cash. We're debt-free. I think we just need mental and emotional permission to do this. Well, we can't give you that.

We can walk through the decision-making process. So did I hear you say you've got the money set aside right now to build this house cash? Correct. Okay. Do you have any other debt? No. Okay. What's your net worth? $3. Okay. Do you have any other debt? No. Okay. What's your net worth?

3.9. And how much is this house going to cost? 1.2. Yeah. I would be with a builder tomorrow. I know. I don't see. Is there some fear or is this doubt?

I mean, what is the holdup with the two of you? And are you both on the same page on this as to the, oh, we need permission? What is it specifically? We're both savers, I think. And, you know, it's been a long road to get to this point. It's a dream we both have. We both want to do it. We just don't want to be stupid at this point.

Yeah, but what evidence do the two of you have that this purchase is stupid? Not a lot, which is why we're going forward with it. I was going to say, not a lot. I'd love to know what's on the list. Yeah. I would tell you the thing we can give you permission to do is sometimes you have a dream and a goal of something for five years ten years and you get there and you realize that life has shifted and so you have permission even after dreaming and hustling for this for a decade you have our permission to not do it if y'all got here and

you're like you know what we love having a million dollars in the bank. It feels better for us. And we can just go rent an amazing seven-bedroom Taj Mahal in the mountains for a month, a year, if we want to. If that's the world you want to be in, go do that. But if you want to build this house and you've been saving and you got the money, go build the house, man. Here's a fun exercise. Aaron, why don't you guys just envision for a couple days, just literally go, okay, you know what? We're not going to do this. We're going to just bank the 1.2. So what would you do with the 1.2 if we didn't spend it on the house?

What would be your natural inclination? Put it back in the market. Yeah. And many years from now, would you be wondering about this house in the mountains or would you be so excited with all the money you made off the 1.2? I would definitely rather have the house and all the memories and the proximity to all the things we enjoy. Then I think that's how I play this. Every time doubt starts to creep up in a situation like this, I would flip the, okay, if I let doubt win here,

I doubt whether or not we should spend the 1.2 because I think this is doubt. And I think if I start to doubt that, I'm going to go, all right, let's look at the alternative. If I don't spend it on something I've dreamed for, by the way, you guys have worked really, really hard. You sacrificed a lot too, to get here, right, Aaron? Yeah, for sure. So then I think you have two conclusions. We worked hard. We saved, We got 1.2. And we did it because we wanted this dream house in the mountains. Nah, we changed our mind.

We just did all that because we want to stick it in the mutual fund and count our money over the next 10, 15 years. It's ludicrous. My partner's laughing over here. But I do think that is the choice. And I think if you begin to make it that clear choice i think all of a sudden you go what am i talking about why am i calling these two clowns i need to build this house and can i tell you um i'm a nervous spender too okay can i tell you um how i make this decision this

is not a ramsey thing this is not a math thing this is a deloney get out of jail card okay let's say you build this house for $1.2 million and that tells me it's going to be a pretty amazing house in the mountains of Salt Lake City, right? Yeah. Let's say the market implodes and this house is

only worth half and you sell it. You're forced to sell it someday. You're still getting six hundred thousand dollars nobody's gonna starve you see what i'm saying and you got the memories to boot with it yeah it's definitely not a financial thing there you go good kind of an emotional you know like you said we worked so hard to get to this point we just did you hey did you grow up Did you grow up with not a lot?

I would say middle to lower. Okay. Because sometimes second homes are for those people, and we're not those people. Or million-dollar properties, yeah, those kind of people buy million dollar properties not us and sometimes we have these limiting um identities that we we tag ourselves with that make it hard to enjoy blessings and make it hard to be generous and make it hard to like do things that make

mathematical sense for us i got another question on this john is there is there some type of psychology condition where this is the first big giant this is the first purchase that's this big for them i'm guessing is that right aaron this will be the most expensive thing you've ever paid for in one year for sure for sure our primary residence we purchased for under 200k okay i'm wondering is there some just basics? It's a million dollars. It's just part of the, this is the biggest thing ever. He's not been there before. And Dave has helped me because I would never been there. And Dave has helped me personally with sticking to the ratios.

Yeah, so it's just normal. It's normal. The point is, this is very normal, Aaron, because your brain has never processed $1.2 million in the form of a purchase. That's almost 10x what you've spent before you have kids i do um is you got their college funds funded i mean i'm trying to think of anything else that down the road you might go oh no i wish we had this cash yeah so first two you know um either out of school or have fluoride scholarship. The youngest is still in high school.

But, yeah, we're fine. Hang up the phone and tell your wife, hey, we're building a house. You know, just have fun, man. Aaron, this is a deal where there are people that live in this YOLO world. You only live once, and they're making foolish decisions, and they are rationalizing those foolish decisions based on this. But this is the reverse. This is the chance to live a life that you can reminisce on, not regret. And I'm telling you, if you don't build this house, you will get to the end of your journey

and you will not reminisce. You will regret this. And this is why we do what we do here. This is living the dream. I mean, when people stand on that stage, John, across the way here, across the studio, it's I'm debt free. Yes, they're free from debt, but I always lock in on the free part because they're now free to pursue that notion that the Stoics made famous and Thomas Jefferson borrowed it. The pursuit of happiness. Your pursuit's different than my pursuit. And there's got to be freedom to pursue that, and that's to live in the woods by yourself if you want to, or live in your favorite cultured neighborhood that's just all whatever.

I mean, the point is, is that. Have a place to make memories with your family. That's it. That's what this is about. Aaron, man, we're proud of you. My goodness, you don't need permission at all. You don't answer to anyone. Good on you, man.

Wow, fantastic stuff. That's the dream right there. By the way, it's not uniquely American. That is just the human dream we just heard. It's fantastic stuff. All right, we got to take a quick break. We'll be right back. Don't move.

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off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Ramsey Radio. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. So glad that you are with us. 888-825-5225 is the phone number. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney joins us. And before we get back to the phones, our question of the day comes from Liz in Alabama. Liz asks, I've been married for three years. My husband has a history of making large impulse buys. Two weeks before our wedding, he bought a new pickup truck on a whim. And since then, he's made several smaller impulse buys like hunting equipment.

Recently, we had a disagreement because we had started to put some money away each month on a whim and since then he's made several smaller impulse buys like hunting equipment. Recently we had a disagreement because we had started to put some money away each month to eventually purchase some land and he approached me about buying a membership to a golf club. This would deplete the money we have saved and add a monthly membership payment to our expenses. I'm labeled as the bad guy and made to feel guilty when I give a firm no to things. We've had discussions about impulse buying and i have tried very hard to make him stick to a budget so that we can continue saving for land while paying off debt and planning for children in the next few years do you have any advice for dealing with a situation like this oh geez he's just a big old boy yeah how

big a boy are you right he's a toddler in a grown man's body. Yeah. Yep. That's frustrating, Ken. What do you think, man? Well, we have to retreat back to the budget discussion. You have a bigger problem going on, and I'm sure you can speak to his behavior thing, but I think in her situation, it's her husband.

She can't be his counselor, his therapist. She's got to be his wife, and I think in this case, it's reminding him of the commitment that we made to the budget to actually say, we're going to buy some land. That's a part of our dream, whatever that equation is that they've laid out, the fact that they want kids, what's that going to look like? And she has to hold him to this shared vision that they've at least talked about and it appears that he's agreed to and i think that's the advice i'd give is go back there and go hey listen i'm actually not anti-golf club i'm not anti-hunting i'm not anti any of these things but each of these things is requiring financial resources we have a limited

pool so i'm not trying to be i feel like i'm coming across like this i would just really own it and share the heart here and i would hope that he could at least see and feel her safety issue there around money and go oh i'm making my wife feel very unsafe when i put her as the adult and i'm gonna act like a child right right um yeah in this he has a history of making large impulse buys he's a toddler right that's what toddlers do that's what children do and so i man can you you nailed it i think sitting down and saying i'm losing respect for you because you are making me responsible for all of our family's future and when i said i do and you said you do we decided we're gonna do this together and um it's not my job to be your mother yeah right and i want to add one more thing liz

it's gonna sound like i'm defending him i I'm not in any way. But there is a transformation that happens. And he may have to practice some new behaviors. He maybe has always been impulsive. That's just the way he rolls. And he's been married for three years. He's got to learn how being a teammate works. And so he might say, hey, I need you to call me out when you see it. You get to choose. If you take that role, hey, I need you to call me out when you see it. You get to choose,

if you take that role on, you get to choose to not feel guilty. Just because he's like, oh yeah, oh yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, I totally forgot. Because somebody at work was like, hey, I got a golf membership,

would love for you to join us. It's going to help your career. He comes home all excited. Sure. And you are the reminder, because that's the role you took on. Hey, remember, we got this shared vision.

Ah, okay, you're right, you're right, you're right. Don't over that right that's your particular that's your commitment right and then if you ask him don't ever bring me another thing ever to this house well that's going to shut him down right so we're going to do this thing together and if you agree you're right i'm going to walk alongside you as you learn to grow up and you do it really fast um i'm going to choose to not feel guilty when I uphold the thing that we agreed on. And hopefully he'll carry his share of the burden as well. Yeah. Wow. Tough stuff, but it can be done, but you got to draw some lines in the sand and appreciate the question.

All right, let's go to Fairmont, Minnesota and Eric is there. Eric, how can we help? Hey, thanks. A long time listener of the Dave Ramsey Show. So my wife and I are kind of in a tough spot here, and we need some advice. Big believers of Dave Ramsey's principles. To make a long story short, our son, who's three, may be ineligible for insurance later in life based on some things we're going to have to have done soon. And we do have some life insurance for him now, mostly basically a burial policy. But based on some findings, the doctors have found he may be ineligible for insurance later on in life. And so we are looking to see if we should get some additional life insurance for him. And if so, what's the kind of best product to get?

Because, again, we're thinking about 30, 40 years down the road for him if need be. Okay. So I'm sorry you're going through this. What's happening? And do I hear you properly that they do expect a 30- to 40-year lifespan and beyond? Is that what you're hearing? And so that's what this would be for is to buy it now and try to fund it now

because he won't be eligible for it as he gets older. Is that what's going on? And so, so, um, they, we don't know. Um, we haven't, we don't have, we have, don't have appointments scheduled, but we need to make some appointments to get him in to see what's going on. He basically broke his leg. They saw some spots on his bones and they did a full body x-ray and found lots of spots. And they've said it could be one of two things. One could be 10% chance of cancer later in life. The other could be 100% chance, but they don't know until they do some genetic testing. And the insurance companies we currently have, Life Insurance Group, have said that if we move forward with this testing, he could be

ineligible, depending on what the results are, he could be ineligible for life insurance down the road. And so we wanted to know what to do. We do have a $20,000 rider on our term policy for him. We also have a paid up whole life policy, a $15,000 policy on him. But obviously, 30, 40 years from now, assuming he lives that that long um you know it's not going to be enough insurance and he just may not be eligible okay uh i'm going to keep my opinions on life insurance no okay i'll say it because it's disgusting the very fact that what's the point of having insurance if life insurance won't actually take care of it it's just the biggest racket um anyway but so let me let me ask you this eric what what's the purpose of life insurance why do you and i buy have life insurance on ourselves it's basically so that if something happens to me it is replacing income for for my family that's right if they you know kind of thing so and so i think you have probably done what I would do and gone to DEF CON 1 worst case scenario.

That's right. Because as a dad, when somebody tells you your three-year-old may have fill in the blank, we instantly want to solve it and fix it and cover every variable as quickly as we can. And we go way into the future. And the scientific or the pathology there is called anxiety. We're trying to solve things in the future that haven't even happened yet. And so can I speak real frank? And I would much rather be doing this in person, but can I just speak super frank? Sure. If he is given a diagnosis of 20 or 30 years and he passes away as a 20 or 30 year old young man he won't need

life insurance sure if he is given a okay this is this is actually cancer and we can cure it you're gonna have a long life of 60 or 70 years old he may need to know as a young man i'm not eligible for this so i have i'm gonna have to live differently I'm gonna have to plan and save differently because this particular thing isn't going to be but he's got a 60-year runway if he actually needs it at that point you see what I'm saying that's right yep and practically speaking here just jumping in real quick Eric you don't have to do any of this I agree with John but if if you had the money and you had the margin it would be better off starting a mutual fund for him now that he eventually takes over, you know, and that's becoming self-insured.

Make sense? So that if you teach this boy how to invest, how to save, stay out of debt, that to me takes care of this. Just on a practical note. And so I've worked with parents, with children with special needs for my whole career. And one of the things they do early on when a young child has special needs is they say, here's how the world's going to work for you in your particular situation. And they begin teaching that way. And so what Ken just said is wise. If when your three-year-old becomes five or six or seven or eight or nine, and you say,

hey, here's the set of cards you were dealt. I opened a mutual fund for you. And so we're going to start putting this much in it for the rest of your life because this is what you're going to leave to your family down the road. That's going to be your responsibility as your dad. But I want to challenge you to stay present. That's right. Stay with your three-year-old little boy and your wife right now in this moment and let those things unfurl as they unfurl. Let those tests talk to you as they come out. Don't project into the future and try to solve future problems. It may be 10% that he

develops something later, but it's 90% that he won't. That's what I'm hanging on to. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond

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And just a fun shout-out. We've got a great group of people in the lobby watching the show today. You can always join us here in the lobby. Watch the show. We love meeting folks from all around the country. Big contingent from Boise today, I've noticed. And by the way, I also was instructed that you don't say Boise. It's Boise with, I guess, the soft S the way, I also was instructed that you don't say Boise, it's Boise

with the, I guess, the soft S on that. So there you go. All right, Jennifer's up next in Finley, Ohio. Jennifer, how can we help? Hi, thanks for taking my call. I was just working on our baby steps. My husband and I have finished paying off our debt, but I'm wondering what happens if you're a co-signer on a loan, if that's included in your snowball or if we can officially move on to step three. What's the agreement you made with your kid? So it was that he was going to be paying it. And obviously we did not find all of these solutions on how not to have student loan debt before he went to school.

But so it's expected that he's going to pay it. I just don't know if that should be our next debt that we focus on or if we can move on and get out of that debt part of it. Well, you just answered your own question, didn't you, Jennifer? Well, what if he doesn't pay? I guess maybe that's where I'm feeling stuck. Do you think he's not going to pay? I don't think he's the most responsible child of my children.

How about that? How much did you sign for? It's about $25,000. How old is he? He's 22. He graduated in December. He has not found his real college job yet. Still looking for that.

Is he living with you? But he's not. Are you still funding his life? I am not. Has there been a conversation about this? I'm sorry? Has there been a conversation between you and dad with him about, hey, congrats, buddy, you got out of school.

What's that repayment plan look like? What's the conversation been? Yeah, he's very wishy-washy about it. He's sort of like, yeah, I know, but he doesn't make any plans. Obviously, since he's just gotten out of school, nothing has technically been due yet. You get the six-month grace where he should be paying it anyway. So I'm just concerned that we're getting farther and farther away, and now we're going to be on the hook

for this money. All of those things are correct. So I guess I'm just wondering, like I said, we have everything paid except our house. Can you write a check for $25,000 right now? No. How long would it take you to pay that off? That would probably take us a while because our income and our expenses, we're still trying to get more income. We're working on that too, but that would probably take us a while.

I mean, you're right on every count. You signed for somebody that you knew didn't have integrity and you felt bad as a mom for whatever reason or a dad or whoever signed for it. And y'all felt some parent guilt and some this and some that, and maybe he'll go to college and maybe he'll learn, and you kept signing because you have to do that every year, and you kept signing, and that chicken's just come home to roost, and you're on the hook for it. And so it's kind of both and.

You can sit down and have a conversation with him and say, what's your plan? And he goes, oh, well, you know. But you don't have a lot of skin in that game, right? Because he's an adult and he's living out in the world now. Right. And so here's what I'm – he is, as a 21-year-old, is burning his relationship with his parents, and he doesn't even realize it. He definitely takes advantage of it.

I know that. But he's been taking advantage of you guys your whole life because y'all have let him fair absolutely yes so it's one of those like i mean yeah so i it if you had 25 grand i'd probably tell you just pay the stupid thing off and have your lesson learned and never give him another penny as long as he lives you don't have that and so the reality is y'all gonna have to put on your debt snowball probably yeah i i gotta let it go to default i i think you've had too nice of a conversation feels like you've had the same conversation that you have with this kid this whole life is that true i would say i'm i'm definitely more of the you

know mother hen and my husband's definitely more of put the axe down and cut him off and then i feel like i make up for that by being extra nice because you have to stop so so my point is is i think that's a long-winded yes you you did you haven't had a come to jesus uh conversation with this kid have you that would be a correct statement okay does your husband want to have it since it sounds like he's the guy who goes that direction? He definitely would be the one that would cut him off and not even look back. Then let him do it. It's his strength. Let's just be honest. You're not wrong. He's not right. I'm just calling this out that he's kind of bent that way. That's how he is. So you got to go, I need to go hang out with my girlfriends and do something while

he has the heart. I got to remove myself from the vicinity. Like I can't even be in proximity because I don't want to come in as mother hen and stop it. So you got to say to your husband, I've blown it here and I'm taking responsibility for how I've done this. I need you to be the heavy here. And if he's willing to be the heavy, John, and you tell me if I'm wrong, but this is what I would do. It would be the heavy conversation would be, it's not happening. We aren't going to pay this. You are going to pay this. We just signed up to back you up. You agreed that you were going to pay it. I'm not paying this. Now we know that you're culpable for it, but again, we're not having reasonable conversations with immature 22-year-olds.

So just be real. The only thing I'll add to that is I'll take Ken one step further. Like, your husband's not right. You're not wrong. I think you are. I think you see... I meant their personality types. Yeah, yeah. You've been bailing him out and this is what happens, right? Oh, yeah.

No question. How come you continue to do that? Because I feel like he never gets a fair shake, and so I make excuses for him a lot. Oh, he's had a tough journey. How has he not got a fair shake? I just feel like he's always been in a situation where something has happened to him,

and most of it probably is on him, but I don't see it that way in the moment. And then I make excuses like, oh, well, he should have known better, but he didn't know this time, so I'll help him do this. Or he should have made a better decision, but now he'll know for next time. But it's a lifetime of learned behavior. It's just really, I feel very protective over him. So here's the analogy I would like to use. For his whole life, he's gone into the weight room of life, and mom has run in there and taken all the weight off the bar.

And he's been lifting his whole life. And now when the world is looking at him about to hit him in the mouth like it does to all of us, he doesn't have any strength because mom's taking all the weight off the bar. And at some point, you have to let him get strong in the weight room. And it's just hard. I'm going to add something to this. Yeah, I think it's the heart of letting him fail because you don't like to see your kid fail. That's right.

It is. But it's the greatest gift for him right now. Jennifer, I'm going to throw something in here. This is just my personal opinion. If I were you, I'm going to amend what I said earlier. I think you both need to sit down with him, but I think you start the conversation. And I think you've got to look him in the eye and apologize for what you have done. I really think it might wake him up. I'm believing that's going to wake him up. And what I mean is you apologize and say, there are many times, and you walk through as much as you want to,

what you just did with John and I and said, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this. I bailed you out, I bailed you out, I bailed you out. Yes. And I think you have to take responsibility and let him see the emotion because I suspect there'll be some emotion. And I would confess that to that boy. And then I'd shut up and I'd have your dad come in

and be the, I mean, your husband, sorry, your husband come in and be the heavy on this deal. I think it's, this is a bit of a confrontation. It doesn't have to be ugly. I don't mean confrontation in the emotion as much as just the stark reality. This is reality. Life changes today for you, son. Correct. Do you still pay a cell phone bill or his gas or anything like that? Uh, cell phone. Yes. Nothing else. That needs to go. That ends. Oh yeah. Two band-aids. He grows up and I would probably give him 30 days cause you've given him 21 years. So I'd give him 30 days or 60 days and then he's on his own. He's on his own. You hate me. You don't love me. I can't believe you.

No, we do love you. We love you so much. We're going to let you go. Oh, it's going to be hard, Jennifer. Maybe the hardest conversation you'll ever have. But I think there's a breakthrough on the other side of this, but you've got to own your part to him so he knows he's not the bad guy, that this is a new way of living.

Wow. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. Dr. John Deloney is with me. And we are here for you. 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. The best way to make the most of your money is always going to be by creating and sticking to

a monthly budget. It's just as our friend John Maxwell has said, telling your money what to do. And people who win with money, they know what their money's doing and they know why it's doing it. And EveryDollar makes this very simple. It is our system. It is our product. We're proud of it because it helps so many people plan the spending, track expenses, save for what matters most to you. And it's all in an easy to use app that fits into your lifestyle. You can keep a pulse on spending to make progress on your money goals, no matter where you are in the baby steps. Download EveryDollar for free right now in the App Store or Google Play today. That's EveryDollar. Go get it right now. All right, let's go to Miami, Florida. Tara is there. Tara, how can we help? Hi, how are you? Thank you for taking my

call. You bet. Awesome. I'm 44. I'm a single mom. I have a great career, great job. I'm just kind of drowning in debt. Tell me about the great career and job real quick. What are you making? I'm making about 95. I'm a paralegal. I work for a nationwide firm that does sexual abuse. So my job has purpose and I do love it. Okay, great. Keep going. I just, since 2021, the market down here in South Florida has kind of gotten a little saturated, and my rent has doubled in price. Yeah. So I'm just not making due. I clear about $3,000 every two weeks, and my rent is $2,800.

So I have an emergency fund. I have an investment account. I have, you know, obviously a 401k. I have life insurance, but I had to stop putting in the investment account because it's not adding up. And so I have now medical debt due to an accident, my car loan, and it seems like I keep having to like live off my credit card. Are you familiar with our baby Step process? Baby Step 1, 2, 3, 4? Does that ring a bell to you? I've never taken financial peace to university, but I am familiar with Dave Ramsey's financial ways. So just want to set this real quick because it's the answer to how we start

to walk you out of this. We want to walk with you. You said you have an emergency fund. That's Baby Step 3 for us. Baby Step 1 is to get $1,000 in a savings account as a kind of a starter emergency fund. Is that what you were referring to, just $1,000, or do you have more than that? I have $2,000 in a CD. Okay. So that's what you consider your emergency fund? Yes, sir. Okay.

So we want the money in a savings account, right? And it is $1, sir. Okay, so we want the money in a savings account, right? And it is $1,000. So scary as that may seem, we want to get that $2,000 down to $1,000 in an emergency fund that is in the form of a savings account. Baby step two is we begin to list out all of your debts, and we go smallest to largest, and those are the ones that we attack. So in this situation, all cash that you have outside of that $1,000 is going to go to that first debt, and we begin to start to attack the debts. You with me so far? Yes. What if you don't have enough money at this time to even get there?

I'm getting there. But one of the things we would have you do is stop investing in your 401k. So now, what is that every check? About two something. I think it's either 240 or 210. I haven't looked it up. All right. Let's just round it down to $200 for simple math.

Okay. So that's $400 a month we just found. Correct? Okay. I mean, no, no. Not okay. I mean, do you understand what I'm walking you through? Yes, I do understand what you're walking me through. Because we call investing 15% of your income, that's baby step four. So baby step two is where we are right now, okay?

And so we've got to find extra money. We also have to cut expenses. So in Miami, first thing I'm thinking is your biggest expense every month is your rent, correct? Yes, sir. All right. What other debts do you have? I have my car, which is around probably $11 right now. I have medical, which is about $8, student loans, and then credit cards is less than eight. Okay. How many credit cards?

I'm down to two. Okay. So the way we would teach you is, and again, we're going to, by the way, you're a single mom and you're a hero. So at the end of this call, John and I are going to keep coaching you here. At the end of this call, I want you to know we're going to get you set up with one of our financial coaches, okay? We're going to put that on us. We are going to keep coaching you here. At the end of this call, I want you to know we're going to get you set up with one of our financial coaches. We're going to put that on us. We're going to take care of that for you. At least one session to where a coach can get really in the nitty-gritty with you.

We'll also put you through Financial Peace University. That's right. We'll take care of it. That's right. So those are our two gifts to you. So you're not walking away with this phone call alone. Thank you. All right.

Now, here's what I want you to you. So you're not walking away with this phone call alone, okay? Thank you. All right. Now, here's what I want you to understand. We have got to fix your expenses because your income is pretty good, and it looks like you've got a great situation for growth. So the issue is we've got credit cards, and we've got rent that's way too high for your income, correct? Yes. All right. So do you have any extra time at all? I know you. All right. So do you have any extra time at all? I know you're a single mom. Do you have any extra time at all to pick up some, maybe some paralegal stuff on the side? Anything like that? I have, sir. I've also tried outside stuff like Uber, DoorDash, walking other dogs on WAG. I also volunteer for a company called 4Kids. It's my passion. They work with foster kids, and I've asked them to hire me part-time. So I'm definitely looking for outside work. I just haven't gotten it yet.

All right. Well, just go get something. We're not looking for work that we need to really impress people. We're just looking for work we can do. So if you're working 20 hours a week at a Walmart, $17 an hour, whatever. My point is you need to get serious about budgeting your time, and whatever time you have that can be put towards making money, go get the lowest hanging fruit for the most amount of hourly wage. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes. That is, we just got to get some more income in. Could you do a roommate?

No, my son just turned 13, and he really needs his own room. My apartment's pretty small, so it's only in 2-2. Could you move out of the area and still be able to commute and not have it suck the life out of you every day? We've tried that. I got approved to buy, so we thought maybe a mortgage would be cheaper than the rent. But the issue down here is the

assessment fees and the condo association so please don't buy a house please don't buy a house you can't afford to buy a house right now yeah we know that but we thought it might be better than the rent hey Tara can I ask you just a personal question that has nothing to do with money

of course you're a court reporter? I'm a paralegal. A paralegal? Okay, paralegal. And you work with sexual abuse cases? Yes, sir. Okay. There's something called secondary traumatic stress, which is super, super real.

And I've written on it. I've presented on it. I get it. And that's your day-to-day every day you go in and you go sit with hurting people that's your world and you're that's your gift of humanity right that and the kids yes the foster kids well and then you go you leave that you go volunteer with foster kids yes sir and then you go look at your son who's 13 and you say it's you and me bub and it's ride or die right is that right she's there yes sir okay yeah i mean i got you you're okay you're okay you're fine

here's what i hear in your voice ken is is pumping you up and he's giving you the path and you're so exhausted yeah and your soul is heavy right yes okay i want you to hear us we love you and you're gonna have to take a break from the foster care thing for a while your soul can't handle that much pain while you're also trying to get yourself to a safe and stable place and the world needs more of you but it can only take what you can give and you can't give what you don't have and right now you don't have peace okay so i want you to take a break from that incredible work you're doing and keep doing your day-to-day job.

The world needs you, but I want you to get some peace in your life so that you can go get those jobs, so that you can get this debt paid off, and then you can be free, and then you're going to be reckless with how you can help people moving forward. Hang on the line.

We're going to get you squared away with these free gifts, okay? We love you. We believe in you, Tara. you