The Ramsey Show - App - DAVE RANT: Buy Now, Pay Later at the Gas Pump (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Buy Now, Pay Later comes to gas stations, The reality of financial abuse, Grieving and coping financially after a spouse's death, Owning your past, and changing your future. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today as we talk about your relationships, your boundaries, your mental health, your job, your career, your money, and your life, right here on The Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. Ann is in Columbia, South Carolina, starting off this hour. Hey, Ann, what's up? Hey, Dave, it's good to talk to you.

You too. I don't know what to do my husband just died within the last um week or so oh my and and uh i went to call my sister only to find out that her husband had died in February. So my sounding board, we're both in the same boat. But the reason I called is because I don't know exactly what I should be doing in terms of, um, the mortgage. I,

uh, received a letter from the mortgage company where they were doing the annual escrow analysis, and they've upped the mortgage payment almost $1,000. Ann, how old are you? 76. How old was your husband? 85. What happened?

He fell at home, and he went to the VA hospital, and they in turn transferred him to a civilian hospital. And seven days later, he died. They don't know exactly why he died. They were guessing. They initially admitted him to a COVID ward, and then a day and a half later, they changed him to a regular ward. But hospital, they called the psychiatrist, called it a hospital psychosis.

He just really, he tore his clothing off, he tore his medical devices off, and just was saying not so nice things. What was his name? Monroe. So do you have children? He has three grown children. I have three grown children. They're all on their own.

Okay. Which one of your three children is the responsible one? My daughter. It didn't take long to come up with that name. Call her today, okay? Well, I thought about that when I first heard about your daughter. And tell her you need some help. Okay. Because your sounding board, the sounding board you used to use,

we're going to change out for your daughter, okay? Okay. She's going to be your sounding board. We're going to help you, too. We're not going to leave you, okay? But I need her in your life walking with you as you start making these different decisions. Because one week after your husband passes and you all were married for many, many years is not a good time.

Well, actually, it was a third marriage for both of us. And we had been married for 15 years. That's many years. Yeah. And so it's a tough day. It's a tough week. It's a tough year for you and i don't want you making big financial decisions like the lone ranger right now

the lone ranger even needed tonto okay so let's get your we're gonna get her in your corner i'm also gonna when we get through i'm gonna put you on hold and i'm gonna have one of our coaches ramsey coaches that are certified by us, help you, walk you through the financial details of this and we're not going to charge you a dime. It's going to be completely free, okay? Wow, thank you. Okay.

So we've got to make sure that, because I don't want something like an escrow account that could just be messed up to throw you into a tizzy and cause you to sell a house while you're in the midst of this grief? Because it's hard to think clear right now, if I'm you anyway. You're right. You just don't know which way to turn. Was there a life insurance policy, and is the house in your name? Are you able to stay where you are is what I'm getting at.

It was right of survivorship so it's out of the estate. The estate doesn't affect it. Are you going to be able to buy groceries on Monday? Yeah, I guess. I don't need a lot since I'm by myself.

Do you have money? Do you have money? Do you have money? I think I do. Okay. So here's the first things we need to do is to make sure that you've got these four walls taken care of, that you've got food, that you can keep the lights on and the water running.

You got to, some kid isn't going to come up, knock on the door, one of his children and say, that's my house now. And your name's not on the deed. So that, I want your daughter, and the coaches will walk you through this, but your daughter's going to help you with the basics because that's going to help you sleep. Okay? And when

you don't know where I'm going to get groceries, is there a life insurance policy that I'm supposed to get somewhere? When you don't know those things, it is scary, scary, scary, on top of this tragic loss, right? Well, it was totally unexpected. That's right. We had talked about rehab and going to that and the things he needed to do in order to get there and get back home.

It sounds like it's out of the blue. And that first six months, that first year, that first two years can be an absolute black fog. And that's why you've got to have someone you love walking next to you. Yeah, call your daughter as soon as you hang up with us, and then we will have one of our coaches call you within 24 hours, and we'll make sure you've got food money set up, and we'll make sure that you've got a good budget and you've got a good handle on where you are, somebody walking with you and helping you do this stuff.

And, again, we don't need any payment from this. This is a – my Bible says to take care of widows and that's what i'm doing so um and it's our honor to do that for you so you hang on and jenna will pick up and we'll get you connected up with a um with a coach to help you walk through this and um because you're you're when you get some of the basics done like john is saying and you lay that, you know food is okay, and you know the lights and water is okay, and you know I've got a place to live, suddenly it helps your mind start to clear. Because right now it's all jumbled up, and it's like you're juggling flaming swords in your head or something. And I'm going to lean in and say that her husband did this. I want every husband listening to this call to hear that voice.

If you don't have a will, if you have not sat down with your wife and said, here's where this stuff is, here's what the, here's what happens next. Here's where the paper is and where the drawer is, where the paper is. Listen to her voice.

I don't know if I've got food next week. Do not be that husband. By the way, wives, those of you that are handling the money and your husband doesn't know what's going on, same goes for you. You guys get on the same page and have a plan. Hang on. Jenna will pick up and we'll take care of you, Ann.

This is The Ramsey Show. Did you know, statistically, when it comes to life insurance and protecting your family, that women are more likely to be uninsured or underinsured than men. This doesn't make any sense. Women make up half the workforce, contribute mightily to family incomes, and in many cases are the breadwinners and take care of their families 24 hours a day. This is one of the most overlooked areas when it comes to financial planning. Maybe it's a relic of the past, but a loss of income or the need to replace family care is equally important for women as it is for men. Single moms, working moms, and stay-at-home moms all need term life insurance. Rates are actually lower for women, which is why I send you to Zander Insurance.

They shop the top term life companies to find the lowest rates available. You can compare rates online at zander.com or call 800-356-4282. This is something every family has to deal with. That's zander.com or 800-356-4282. so so Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Guys, we get it. You're struggling with money. It's all consuming. You're wondering if your check is going to clear, if you can even afford to fill up at the gas station. It's always on your mind, but you shouldn't have to live with this kind of stress, and you don't have to.

When you follow a proven plan, you'll discover peace with your money. A budget is a money stretcher. It makes your money go further and gives you a sense of power in uncertain and crazy times. In Financial Peace University, we'll teach you how to do that. We've taught almost 10 million people

how to budget, save, spend wisely, get out of debt, and become wealthy and outrageously generous. Watching the course online right now and joining a class even at your local church man it just changes everything knowledge in the midst of uncertainty brings peace you are transformed by the renewing of your mind decide today that you're done letting money stress rule over your life. You can do this. Financial Peace University, you can do a free trial at ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU.

Check out the free trial for Financial Peace University at ramsaysolutions.com slash FPU. Our question of the day comes from blinds.com. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. Incredible company. Free samples, free shipping, and with new promos all the time, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY. Today's question comes from Shelly in Tennessee. And Shelly writes, when we got married, my husband wanted to live on a budget.

We paid off our house, which is in his name, and lived debt-free. Two years ago, he suddenly stopped living on any type of budget. His spending is so extreme now that money has had to be transferred from our savings to pay bills several times. I had to separate my finances from his and started working full-time after he continued to abuse our shared money and threaten me with divorce. Now he's demanding that I combine finances again to get access to my paycheck. I'm trying to save for an attorney in housing if we divorce. I'm not in a dangerous situation,

so I'm not in a hurry to divorce until I'm prepared financially. I don't want to hide funds from the government, but I do want to hide funds from my spouse. Is there any way I can protect myself financially while pacifying my spouse? Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. This is time for you to sit down with a marriage counselor and with your pastor and develop something more than a radio answer for something that's important in your life. But it sounds like what you're going to develop with them is the ability to have a conversation with your husband that says either this or that. If then. Now.

Yeah. And it's called the ultimatum, and that's where you are. I think people often get abuse, and we think of physical safety, like I'm being hit. This woman is unsafe. This is financial abuse. That's right. She's about to be homeless. She's psychologically unsafe. This is highly trauma.

This is a terrible environment to be is a terrible environment to be in. Terrible environment to be in. Because he's obviously involved in something. Right. That's right. He's either an addict of some, that's my guess here. He's an addict or he's with somebody else or something. Who knows?

Or both. Or both. That's right. And so the one thing I want to call out here is the number of couples who are divorced and live together and torture each other they stay married but in spirit and in finances and in life they are living two separate lives they're already divorced they just never admitted it yes they like you're prepping for a divorce you're ready for divorce i'm not in a hurry well honey you've already crossed the line there then and now what

you're choosing to do is torture yourself torture this guy who's clearly gone off and it's just you've made a mess this isn't something to just kind of hem a haul around you're not safe he owns the house right all it's just a mess get with somebody a professional today it's a mess man yeah and and and make a a narrative up that says, you don't stop this, we're done. Yeah. If I'm not safe to be in my own home. Yeah. If you don't stop the extreme spending and you don't stop the manipulation

and you don't stop the out-of-control aspects of your life, we're done. So, you know, 30 years I've been doing this. I'm going to give you a wild but maybe not so wild guess. Cocaine. This fits cocaine. It's hyped up, out of control, energetic, frenetic. He is. Because everything he's doing he's doing wide open and somewhat out of the blue was this way and now is that randomly yeah it just fits the

fits the pattern for me i'm not a professional i'm just an old guy that's seen a lot yeah and um which is kind of the same thing by the the way. Same exact thing. That's the definition of wisdom, right? But, yeah. But, I mean, it may not be. It may be a girlfriend. It may be a porn addiction. There may be 73 prostitutes in the background on this, but there's something extreme.

Yeah. There's no little tiny, I'm having an emotional affair at the office. That's not here. Or a major psychiatric. It's whatever's happening. There's some kind of blow-up schism. There's a before and after. Yeah, going not here. Or a major psychiatric. Whatever happened. There's some kind of blow-up schism. There's a before and after. Yeah, gone nuts here.

And so I don't, based on that, I don't think when you present the either-or that you're going to get an either. You're just going to get an or. Probably. You're going to be gone. And be ready for that. Yeah, expect to be leaving instantaneously. And go ahead and do that. And you don't need a house.

You just need an apartment. You know, you've got a paycheck. Just take your paycheck. You've been living on that anyway. And if you've paid equity into this home as part of the divorce settlement, he'll have to write you a check. Yeah, and if you've got kids, he's going to have to write child support. And if you've been married a long time, in most states, he's going to have to write alimony. And that's all part of the divorce, and you can get the attorney later.

You don't have to stay there there and you shouldn't another minute you need to go sit with someone and have someone else look at this long form not a two minute radio answer this is your life it is your marriage but that's our perception reading in from the outside that you got a mess on your hands that doesn't it does appear to have gone beyond the point of no return. But we'll see. Maybe we're wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

I hope I'm wrong. So a new story as gas prices continue to increase across the nation. Buy now, pay later companies like Klarna and Zip have partnered with gas stations to provide consumers with options to stretch out their payments. So you can fill up the old truck now and not have to worry about the payments for a while which you could have done with your stupid gas credit card anyway how stupid is this i mean it was already available to you critics of buy now pay later that would be me have pointed out evidence that consumers are having trouble keeping up with all of their pay letter payments yes they are clarna and zip are man these guys are just ripping the hearts out

of a certain segment of our population and feeding them back to them it's ridiculous um i mean this makes the old credit card debt thing when i first got started look like easy this right here is just straight up evil this is this is robbing people who are struggling yeah and really what you're doing let me tell you when you finance gas or groceries in any method credit card clarinet anything because you've been watching the news so much because if you watch the 24 news right now all you're hearing are people with their vocal cords really tight really dramatic really amped up over caffeinated looking at the camera screaming at you that inflation is going to kill you you're going to die of inflation you're never going to be able to eat

you're never going to be able to fill up your car, and you certainly will never buy a house again, and it's all this evil monster inflation's fault, and you're going to die, you're going to die, you're going to die. It is the latest form of fear porn on the news channels. I was going to say, if you did the Matrix and barely dodged COVID, here comes inflation. It's coming right at you. Well, if you keep watching, it'll be a tornado next.

I mean, it's unbelievable. The fear porn, these guys, they cannot drive ratings except with adrenaline, apparently. Hey, I did hear this. I found a place where you can get $2 gas. Arby's. That was too easy. You're 13 years old.

I swear to God, you're 13 years old. I thought that was a busy i'm sorry you're 13 years old i swear to god you're 13 years old i thought that was a great joke this is the ramsey show We'll be right back. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Brian and Elena are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, we're great. Welcome. Where do you all live? Brandon, Mississippi. All right. Welcome to Nashville. y'all live? Brandon, Mississippi. All right. Welcome to Nashville.

How much debt have you paid off? $305,000. Woo! Whoa! How long did this take? Five years. Wow. And your range of income during that time?

$160,000. You can get it. You can get it. It was about $160,000 to about $300,000. Okay. $160,000 to $300,000. Oh, wow. What do y'all do for a living?

I work for a power company. I'm a simulation healthcare educator. Wow. Good. Very cool. Okay. So $305,000 over five years. I'm going to guess and say that might have been your house.

Yes. That's right. Yeah. Totally different. Look at it, weird people. That's right. I love it. That's so cool.

You guys are awesome. What's this house worth? With the market changes, I would say about $450,000. I like it. We count the market changes. They're good. That's right. Yeah.

Nice job. Well done. Well done. Well done. How have you guys been doing on your investing for your 401ks and everything? Doing great. I mean, we've seen huge improvements. Yeah, excellent. So how much have you got your nest egg built to?

Right now, our net worth, we're now officially millionaires. Baby step millionaires, too! Woo! Yeah! I like it! Well done. We actually paid off the house and became millionaires within the same year. I like it. That's so fun. Good for you! How old are you

guys? 39, both of us. Both for you. How old are you guys? 39, both of us. Both of you millionaires before you're 40. Yes. And paid for everything. Yes. No more driving penny pincher. That kind of stuff happens to other people, but you did it. Wow.

I'm so proud of y'all. Wow. So cool. Okay, so what happened? We decided to get focused. We downsized our vehicles, and we started driving what we were called around town as Penny Pincher and Stinky Minnow. Stinky what? Stinky Minnow.

What was it? It was a 2012 Chevy Colorado single cab. Oh, you nicknamed the cars that. Oh, I thought you were calling him that. Well, she probably called me worse. No, my dad actually took the truck. It was a little single cab truck without power windows or locks. And they actually spilled a bucket of minnows in there.

So it had a smell in it for a while. That's it. We still drove it, though. That's the stinky minnow. I got it. Okay. Yeah, you got to give these cars a nickname. So now it's time to get some better cars, y'all.

Yes, we did just do that. We drove it here. Oh, you've got to give these cars a nickname. So now it's time to get some better cars, y'all. Yes. We did just do that. We drove it here. Oh, what'd you get? Chevy Silverado. Nice. That's a good truck. Okay.

Pay it off. Good. No minnow smell at all. I like it. It was a lot less fighting in the back seat. Because it has a back seat. Oh, there's that. Yeah. If you don't behave, we'll put you all the way in the back.

That's right. Way to go, you guys. Okay, so you decide to get serious, focus in, and then what happened? We wanted to be good lessons, teach them good lessons. So we tried to help her learn how to keep a job, even when she was like 12. So she started painting mailboxes in the neighborhood and she started pet sitting on Rover. And so she actually started her Roth RRA. So we were trying to set a good example for her. But this whole process started because we wanted to change our family

tree. So we grew up, we weren't poor poor but we didn't have everything we wanted so we wanted to make sure that we could teach them the right way to live and that we could sustain that and change generations to come so that was really important for us yeah very good so what can you get how much can you get painting the mailbox that's pretty cool she can't she ain't got a mic you answer yeah she was getting about 50 50 to 70 dollars i mean now like i said we we sanded it down yeah you did a couple of did good work on oh yeah any run she learned she had to sand that down so she didn't want to spray too much in one area so it was it was a good life lesson for her so she uh she did it all herself i mean big kudos to her she yeah phenomenal I mean, you do 10 of those a month.

That turns into some money. That's right. Yeah. She made over $3,000 that summer. Woo-hoo! Yep. That's good. I told you.

She had Roth IRA now. Yeah, there you go. I couldn't even spell Roth. That's good. Yeah, you guys, that's amazing. Well done. Very well done. Okay, now that you did it, you paid off house and everything in five years,

and you hit the Baby Steps Millionaires mark, what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt and building wealth is? Really, to me, it's just focus, having a common goal, making sure that you know what you're striving toward, setting a better example for your kids and letting them know that being weird is not a bad thing, I guess. So let me ask you this

and to two kids, y'all need to do earmuffs on this one. What was the mom and dad y'all make a great salary and there's got to be mornings you woke up and opened that truck and it smelled so bad and you thought what?

Honey, I'm done with this i'm at least getting a grown-up car because i have a grown-up right and you start rationalizing what's the biggest fight y'all had really to me i think really wasn't vehicles i think it was more vacations she's used to growing up she grew up having a lot of vacations and going from a lot of vacations to taking local trips and staying with family that was a big change for her so that was that was probably the biggest fights that we've had some good knockdown drag out ones a matter of fact so we plan on taking a lot of vacations well you can go anywhere you want to go now you're a millionaire and you don't have any debt how would you tell somebody to get through that? Somebody who's used to traveling.

Like, this is just the way we do summer, and all of a sudden that's not how we're going to do it for the next five years. How would you coach somebody through that? It's just temporary. And so just plan where you want to go and just know it's just going to take a little bit longer to get there. But you can do it together. Wow. Now you can go anywhere.

Anywhere you want to go, literally. I mean, that's pretty impressive. So very cool, you guys. Good job. Outside of you guys, who was your biggest cheerleaders cheering you on? We had some neighbors in our neighborhood that had paid their house off, and then I had some girls at work, and they had paid their house off. So just hearing that other people had done it,

and so it wasn't an impossible dream that we could actually do it too. Well, you end up around people that are positive influence instead of a bunch of negatives. That's right. That's cool. That makes a big difference. Makes a big difference. And it's nice to be able to make positive influences on other people. You know, last year I bought all my employees a Dave Ramsey book book and one of my employees he actually uh called me

right before christmas and she said i'm selling my car and it's your fault well i'm gonna blame dave well if you're driving the minnow the stinky minnow then you can you can probably do that i should have told her have I got a truck for you? Sorry, but I don't feel sorry. It's going to be worth it. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. You guys are amazing.

I'm so proud of you. Well done. And I love $75 mailboxes. This is not one I've heard. I will repeat this and tell people. Tell teenagers in other cities. I won't create a competition for you, but I'll tell teenagers in other cities that they should do this. Well, I've heard that if your kids work, that they just vanish. They die.

Do they die? I'm seeing somebody who worked hard and did really well and now is planning for a future beyond most adults these days. So good for you. Have you all had the first paycheck deposit that's all yours? Oh, yeah. Feels good, huh? It does. It feels real good.

Like, where did it all come from? Oh, where was it all going? Where was it all going? So, well done. I love it, guys. We got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you. You are one, but you should have been in there, but now you know what it looks like, and you'll be able to share that with someone else, maybe, and also a copy of Total Money Makeover for

you to share to someone else. Pay forward so good stuff well done you guys all right it's 305 000 paid off in five years making 160 to 300 brian elena adeline and fisher from jackson mississippi count it down let's hear a debt-free scream. One, two, three. We're debt-free! Yeah! Yes, sir. House and everything. We're looking at weird people here. Oh, man. That's about

as fun as it gets, I'll just tell you. Making their kids work. Pretty, pretty stinking incredible. Them working hard. It's amazing. Yeah, I love it. Very well done. Very well done. Kids disappear if they work, huh? Who knew?

I didn't know. This is The Ramsey Show. MC show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Isaiah 40, 31, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary they will walk and not be faint vince lombardi said confidence is contagious so is lack of confidence you know that's true and the thing that comes up is um thinking about the studies that show that uh if your three closest friends are obese, the probability that you will be is unbelievably high.

If your three closest friends, if your ten closest friends, your income will be the average of your ten closest friends. And these are people that have influence. And the last debt-free screamer said you know i had this person paid off this neighbor paid off their house this co-worker paid off their house and there were people around them even at one degree of separation that were paying off their houses and that increases the probability that you're gonna pay off your house very high and earlier we had a caller from who's a multi-millionaire who hung out with a bunch of people that said our parents aren't going to make it and then the times is here and they call us saying hey are we going to be okay and they're in their 50s and they got a net

worth of two point something million dollars not including the real estate and it yeah you're going to be okay right so it's who you hang out with your yeah you nailed it yeah there's there's the and the data on that that if you know someone that knows someone that you don't have one degree of separation how that impacts things like wealth uh income uh marital stability uh obesity it's crazy the impact that community has on you that you're you know one ring out two rings out of your community that you and the thing is you can choose that uh you can choose you know if you're gonna if you're gonna get sober continuing to run around with your old drinking buddies probably ain't gonna work out hello and there's so much power in this idea of a picture somebody that

looks i could see myself in this that's why the debt-free screams are so important because they cover such a broad range of different people it's easy to see one group it's a couple and be like ah that's not us we found one that looks that i can go oh i could see myself doing that i know somebody who's done this my friend has done this that means i could do it that's so powerful yep it does change everything someone from our community someone from our city someone from one from our region someone that has an accent that sounds like ours so here's what's important when i find myself in these negative cycles and i'm just being honest like the news been hard and for some reason this particular cycle is got me down i the the further down the oh no rabbit hole i go i've now been with myself long enough to stop and say where where am i getting input from who am

i getting input from and invariably it's i'm not talking to real people enough and i'm on my phone too much almost almost all the time yeah are you following someone on facebook that is in your past and should have stayed in your past right but you're real concerned about what they're doing, and they're really not in your future. They're in your past. Nothing to do with who you are now. And all that's doing is feeding your stinking mind, your stinking thinking.

That's what old Ziegler used to say, Zig Ziegler. The stinking thinking. And, you know, that stuff is real. It's very, very real. It's real. There's data to back it up. There's research to back it up. And if you just think about it, it rings true with your heart when you hear it that you

become who you hang around with. So do not deceive. Evil company corrupts good habits. Get good people in your life. Yeah, it's very real. It matters a lot that you do that. And so it's, you know, who you're hanging around with. Are your buddies, you know, are they running around on their wife?

Are there, you know, well, let me just tell you, your likelihood of infidelity just went through the roof. I mean, because you're just hanging out with people that normalize this misbehavior. You know, it's just not okay. Are you hanging out with people who say this is not okay right you know it changes everything it changes everything so it's good stuff confidence is contagious so is lack of confidence courage is contagious so is lack of courage and when you stand up and say as for me in my house we're not doing this yep we're not going to be those people you give people around you permission and sometimes it takes you being that person if one person will stand up and say i'm staying here i'm standing here to fight i'm

staying here we don't do this in our house you give somebody else permission to say well then we don't either right and it just takes one one person yeah because they were thinking it anyway yeah you just you just gave voice to what they were already thinking yeah you know we're as for me in my house we don't borrow money yeah and you know we're it's for me in my house we give a lot we're not in my house we feel outrageously generous we're going to be known for our tipping we're going to be known for these things and uh it just it changes everything when you do that we're gonna be known for excellence we're gonna be known for showing up on time we're gonna be known for whatever i mean you you list it out and you just make that decision and i love when i'm hearing your podcast

and you're talking about you know starting to say the values of the family this is who delonies are that's right this is who a deloney is this is who who a Ramsey is. As for me and my house, this is who we are. And you're giving identity then to the whole family that this is who we are. And families do that negatively, too. Oh, yeah. Well, we're just not an exercising family. We're a pizza family. We just aren't good with money, family.

The worst one I ever heard on that was Henry Cloud was on the show one one day and uh lady said well you know we have a obesity in our family no one it runs in our family and he said no no one runs in your family oh gosh of course henry said that come on cloud no no one runs in your family but you know that's the thing right there. You just, you know, our family just has, you know, we're all just have tempers. Well, and then here's what you know. It gets hard. Nope.

We're just, we're not those kind of people. We're poor. That's who we are. Yeah. We don't have, we don't drive cars like that. We don't buy houses like that. And then if someone, if one of your cousins decides he's going to make a little money, you go, oh, you're getting above your racing.

Oh. You're getting above your raisin. Oh, mm-hmm. You're getting above your raisin. Yeah. I always wondered why a raisin came into this. A shriveled up grape? How did this come into this? Or the, we raised you to be less than. You better get back down on the ground where we.

You better be poor like everybody else. I mean, come on, you uppity. Yeah. And you can do that with aity yeah and you can do that with a southern accent or you can do that with another i've also met with my fair share of parents who are we're lawyers in this family we're doctors that kid's not going to go be a missionary that kid's not going to go be a teacher this is who we are it's like well that's who your daughter is so you can choose to be in a relationship with her or not but she's going to go teach

she's going to the mission field or whatever right right? So it all comes back to who are we? But here's the thing. The point of all this is if you will intentionally decide, okay, this is who we are, and just start saying it and start doing it, you know, over over time it is absolutely proven that you will become that yep you know we're just people that do this okay then we do this and then we do this when you don't your kid you this may be the pot talking the kettle hey we we the delonies we tip well that's what we're kind of known for we tip well we're going to always honor these folks and then the one time i just scribble in five bucks my it's my six-year-old goes daddy we're we tip well okay you know i mean so put a one in front of that clown that's right so they'll keep everybody keeps everybody accountable that's

what community does right that is it and and so that's why it's important for people that are wanting to engage in spiritual growth to actually attend a church. Yeah, be around people, yeah. Actually attend a church. Yes. And it's the problem with online only. Yeah. You actually need to be in community.

You need to be in physical proximity with these humans that you want to be like. Yes. And it will cause you to be like them. Yep. And it doesn't work online. No. You can't Zoom it in. No. You it doesn't work online. You can't zoom it in. No. You can't zoom it out.

You can't zoom it in. Yeah, it's communication, not connection, man. And there's more about communication that happens in a physical proximity than in any other way. Right. And so this is just real, y'all. Yeah. And it's a big deal. It's a big deal.

So that all comes from that Vince Lombardi quote there. It kind of got us on this rant, but it's a big deal it's a big deal so that all comes from that vince lombardi quote there kind of got us on this rant but it's a good rant so if you want to be debt-free and generous start running around with people who want to be debt-free and generous if you want to be people who read books instead of watch tv start running around with people who read books instead of watch tv and that hug their spouse and hug their kids and that are right, upstanding, good, generous, courageous people. Just pick who you want to be and make sure those are the people in your life. Doesn't mean you're not nice to the other ones. Just means they're not your posse.

That's all it means. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.