The Ramsey Show - App - DAVE RANT: Get Out of Your Mother’s Basement & Get To Work! (Hour 2)
Episode Date: November 22, 2022Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman discuss: A marriage disagreement about paying off the house, The idea of an "emergency credit card", Applying the baby steps to a business, DAVE RANT: The declining work ...ethic, Investing vs. paying off the house. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods of Moving and Storage Studios,
it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king,
and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW
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The phone number is 888-825-5225.
Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author of the book Paycheck to
Purpose and host of the Ken Coleman Show, talking about your jobs, your careers, is
my co-host today.
Open phones, 888-825-5225.
Amanda's with us in Fort Worth.
Hi, Amanda.
How are you?
Hi.
How are you guys?
Better than we deserve.
What's up?
Good.
I'm needing your help to solve an argument between my husband and I about paying off
our mortgage.
Okay.
So he's retired.
He's 66, and I'm still working.
I'm still working.
I'm 63.
We don't have any debt except for our mortgage.
We owe $100,000 on it.
We're wanting to take money out of our 401, or he's wanting to take money out of 401 to pay the balance of the mortgage.
But I always agree with that, paying off the mortgage, but now since we've lost so much money in our 401,
then I know if we take it out, then it's considered really losing it.
So I just wanted your opinion.
Okay.
So you're not arguing as to whether to do this.
You're arguing whether to do this now or wait on the market to come back up exactly okay so that that's the only question is the
timing not the actual action oh yeah we definitely want to do it okay and how
much is in the 401k it was 400,000 now it's 300 and we owe a hundred thousand
on the house.
And it's a $300,000 house.
But we probably have about $40,000
we can put towards in cash.
We can put towards it too. So it would be
$60,000 coming out of it. Sounds like you're invested
very poorly. The market is not
down 25%.
Well,
what are we? The market's down
12 to 15%.
Now, I don't know if we've lost $100,000 in the last two years, not one year.
So I probably need to check on it again.
We are with an Investor Pro, but we probably need to check on it again.
With a Smart Investor Pro, okay.
All right.
Yeah.
What do you make?
$70,000.
Okay.
It's on the bubble for me.
Okay.
Here's why.
If you told me you had $4 million in there, I'd tell you to stop your whining and just write a check today.
Okay?
If you had $100,000 or if you had $200,000 in there and you're going to pull $100,000 out and that's only going to leave you $100,000, I'll tell you don't do it.
Let's wait and whittle away at it and pay it down out of your income.
Okay?
But you're kind of in the middle.
And with $400,000 or $300,000 in there, you're going to have a good amount still left in the nest egg.
Do you have other investments other than this 401?
That 401 is a couple of 401s, mine and my husband's.
You can't touch your, how old are you?
I'm 63.
Oh, you're 63.
He's 67.
Okay, so both of you can get at it.
Okay, so that's a total of all your
retirement then yes okay uh i you know either one's okay uh i really can't help you with
solving the argument um what i what sharon and i would do in this case is um we we would probably kind of meet in the
middle and that would be okay i'm gonna i'm willing to wait on it to come back up some
but not just this indefinite weird thing so i'm gonna like put a number on it when the account
returns to x we're taking the money out and paying off the mortgage okay and i don't care what that is i
mean if you make it 423 000 right whatever when the when the account hits 423 that day we're
taking 100 out and paying off the house and just be in agreement on the number instead of this vague
thing of oh the stock market emotions right and all that right? We don't want to get in that game.
So that would be the game plan.
Even our, like, $1,100 that we make payments, we can start putting that back in the market too, you know?
So that's kind of what we're thinking.
So you could do it today.
It's not going to cause you to bankrupt.
It's not going to cause you to not eat at retirement.
You could do it today.
But if you want to ride uh to your point the market is
down do we want to try to ride it back up a little i'm not much on time in the market i don't like
that um in general but i kind of get it to a point so if it's me i'm going to say all right when it
gets to a certain point and i don't care what that is 375 y'all talk it through but i'm somewhere
375 four and a000 or something like that.
Then that day I'm cashing it out and we're both in agreement and the argument's over.
Okay.
I'm curious, Amanda.
Is the $40,000 cash you said you could throw in, is that above and beyond your emergency fund?
Yes.
Well, go ahead and throw that out.
I would do that for sure.
Now it's less money you're pulling out of the 401k when that time comes.
Yeah, good point.
And you know what might happen?
You might just beat the crap out of the thing out of your income and your budget
with only 60 left and just knock it out and not even hit the 401.
That's true, too.
That could happen before it comes back up to your magic number you come up with, right?
Yeah. before it comes back up to your magic number you come up with right yeah but but the trick here the
beautiful thing about the the this is it doesn't really matter either way you go on this um what
matters mostly is that you get in agreement and you get unified and then that puts both of your
shoulder to the plow again and it and it starts the plow moving again.
Right now, we're just circling and running around and, you know, arguing about it.
And so let's just decide what it is, put a number on it, throw the 40 at it,
start beating it on and out of the budget, and when it returns to that number,
if you hadn't knocked it out, finish it off that day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And given that we just put 40 on there and there's only left i'm i think that motivates me to knock the 60 out i'm gonna be real tempted
to do it now but i'm also gonna if not i'm gonna lower the number that's the magic number yes i
might take it back all the way back down to 350 or something i'm gonna i want to get to or 360
let's say there's 300 left over after we take the money out right or you gotta pay taxes so 370 whatever but uh some you know let's just decide something like that um and uh and and then
get there or when the balance is equal to the amount over 300 i'm making all this i just like
to have some kind of set objective thing that sharon and i no longer have an argument now
it's the decisions already made it's a matter of when it gets there it's executed boom yeah kind of set objective thing that Sharon and I no longer have an argument now.
The decision's already made.
It's a matter of when it gets there, it's executed.
Boom.
Yeah.
You know, Amanda, Dave gave you great advice.
I will tell you my personal opinion is I hate paying taxes so much that I would pay the $40 today and then I'd knock the $60 out.
I just don't want to take the tax hit on the 401K,
even though it's a viable option.
It just drives me nuts, Dave, to take a hit.
So I'd want to just cash flow and pay the 60 off.
It wouldn't hurt anything.
No.
Wouldn't hurt anything.
And then it's coming back.
Your 401k is going to get back.
Yeah.
And the good news is it's not 600.
And the good news is they got options.
And the good news is, Dave, they both want to pay the house off.
So that's a nice thing to be unified on.
Done really, really, really good work.
Excellent.
Excellent job.
This is the Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Dr. John Deloney is on Jordan Peterson's podcast this week and YouTube show.
It aired starting yesterday.
Long form interview, hour and some change.
And the two of them together is way more brain cells than i care
to think about uh in one place but uh it's it's incredible i uh i listened to it watched it all
the way through and it is absolutely amazing go check it out um again jordan peterson and dr john
deloney together talking about childhood trauma making friends, all the types of things that John talks about on the Dr. John Deloney show pretty regularly.
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this. Justin's with us. Justin's in Tampa, Florida. Hi, Justin. How are you?
Hey, how you doing, Dave?
Better than I deserve.
How can I help?
So my question is, me and my wife have been doing our finances, and I've come to notice that she has a credit card spending issue,
and I thought maybe we should get a smaller amount credit card to help
so that she can't spend so much.
Is this going to solve anything, or is this just a bad idea all around?
I don't think she has a credit card spending issue.
I think you have a household vision issue.
I can agree.
The two of you don't have a big enough vision for your future that you're willing to pay the price to do,
and instead we're acting like little children and buying whatever we want whenever we want it,
which is what most Americans do, and that's why most people are broke.
And so you need a bigger vision.
I want to change my family tree.
I want to be able to travel.
I want to be able to drive a car that's not a piece of crap that I pay cash for.
I want to be able to whatever.
I want to be able to be outrageously generous to people,
especially this time of year.
I'm activated to do all that, and we're too dadgum broke because our money processes and our money habits suck.
And so we need a bigger vision that we're both willing to give up our bad habits
to get to the bigger vision.
And then the credit cards just go away because they're not included in a big vision of people who want to win with money.
You just get debit cards.
You don't need a credit card.
Gotcha.
Saving.
Put it away.
Yeah, just the whole thing goes away.
I mean, you need to chop them all up and have an emergency fund and have a budget and be working your way out of debt.
And you sound like you're fairly new to our stuff.
Yes, sir. Okay. Yes, sir. All yes sir all right i'll send you a christmas present you and your wife look at it it's called the total
money makeover and it walks you through a detailed proven plan step by step on what you can do to get
control of your money get you some money habits that work but you're treating the symptom you're
not training the problem yeah and he knew that i think
he just needed to hear someone else say it you know i'm going to limit your undisciplined as
opposed to let's remove the lack of discipline yeah that's what we want to attack but no one
does discipline for discipline's sake no gotta have a big picture yeah i don't want to lose
weight reason right you know or whatever it is for this yeah that's right yeah open phones at 888-825-5225 daniel's with us daniel is in atlanta georgia how are you daniel
i'm good how you guys doing dave better than we deserve what's up
i kind of wanted some general wisdom from you since you're a business owner. We run a small business and it's a family
business. And I wanted to know how you would apply your basic budgeting principles at home
to a business kind of sort of to operate cash on cash only basis kind of and stuff like that
is what I'm looking for. Okay. What kind of business have you got?
It's a construction trade business.
We've been in business for about 17 years,
but it's kind of what you say, we work harder than smart.
We work hard, but we outwork our stupidity, basically.
I kind of think...
What kind of construction are you doing?
Glass work, residential.
So you're subcontractors?
Yeah, we're subcontractors for builders and homeowners and remodelers.
Okay.
We work with construction people all over the United States in Entree Leadership,
and I grew up in the construction business, real estate business,
so you and me are from the same people, okay?
You're my people.
Yeah.
And so here's what normally happens.
I don't know if it happened at your place, but normally we got a guy who is really good
at a trade in your case, glass.
Okay.
And then they decide, oh, I'm going to open a glass business.
I'm going to own the thing.
And now you're still really good at at class but you don't have business skills
yep which is what you're asking me for yeah my dad he was very much a technician which
yep so speaking of all that stuff you know he was very technician like which
yep you recommended a book to you recommended a book the email by michael gerber which is
i listened to it while i'm driving around and i finished it and it runs true with a lot of things that are going on right now yep you're
working in the business you're not working on yeah yeah so one main thing i need to do so the
way you do a budget is number one there's a subset in your world but the way you do a budget is
overall uh you plan out what your income is going to be this coming month and that's fairly easy to do
because you've got most of the jobs on the books and in the pipeline so we kind of know what we're
going to get jobs we're going to get paid on this month and we look at our expenses for the month
and the difference is called profit and you project that go ahead would you do that based
off of what actually came in or would you do that off of what is expected to come in?
The budget is a projection.
Yeah.
Then the actual management against budget is if we're above budget,
we've got more profit.
If we're below budget, we've got less profit.
Mm-hmm.
Okay?
But we in no case go borrowing money because we didn't do any projections,
and we're pulling this out of our ear all the time.
Yeah.
Making it up every Friday.
Yeah.
It's very stressful.
It's very stressful.
No, it's good.
So that's the main thing is creating time to maybe do a forecast.
I think that's probably the first thing.
Really, it's going to take several hours the first time you do it, and then it's going to take an hour the second time
you do it, and then it's going to take 30 minutes the third time you do it. There's not a lot to this.
And now the subset in your world is you probably ought to look at
it for an app or some builder software that helps you
job cost, and you run a profit and loss statement on each job.
So you estimate the job, because you guys do an estimate and you run a profit and loss statement on each job yeah so you estimate the job because
you guys do an estimate and turn in a bid probably right well not really i mean we do we use quickbooks
right now we have our own excel program that gives us our i mean you have to give the contractor a
price right yeah yeah we do but half the time right now they just go with whatever we give them
these days um to be honest.
But we do have a general, we have a margin that we work off of,
so that's, you know, we do have to do a bid, so yes.
Okay, so you do a bid, and you've got a margin,
and then you go back and look, did you actually hit that margin or not?
Or do you just go on and act like nothing happened when you screwed it up?
No, we just press on, try to get a check, and then keep on pushing.
But you could have lost money, and you would never know to adjust your next estimate
if you don't go back and visit the last estimate versus actual.
So you've got a job cost, and every job is its own P&L, in other words.
And did we make money on that?
And it takes 10 seconds to look at it if you put the information in.
So it sounds like you probably need to outsource some bookkeeping
and you need to put some job-costing software on your phones
and then start living by these numbers
because this is going to catch you when this market slows down.
Buffett says when the tide goes out, you can tell it was skinny dipping.
And the glass business is gold business right now, but it might not be in three months.
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Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality. ken coleman ramsey personality best-selling author of the book paycheck to purpose is my
co-host today the phone number here is 888-825-5225 so ken i was listening to our friend
mike rose podcast the other day and he had an author on uh nick eberstadt or eberstadt i don't
know if i'm i don't know how to pronounce it but um i
should have listened to mike pronounce it because with his wonderful pipes it was a great job
pronouncing it right but uh you know mike has been sounding the same alarm that you and i
have been sounding particularly you that um we have a um what you were saying at the break is
a social crisis evolving and it's showing up in the unemployment numbers when we properly measure them.
Now, this economist is a mathematician that did this book, How Things Work.
I guess that's Mike's podcast.
I don't see the name of his book off the top of my head.
Somebody handed it to me the other day at an event.
I believe it's Minute Work, if I'm not mistaken.
But the essence of their discussion that you and I have been having a similar discussion is this shift in the workplace right now that we've got a large number of jobs available and no one applying for them.
There's a shortage of labor for the first time in post-war or to America.
We've never seen this in modern America.
And the reason there's a shortage is not because the jobs are so plentiful. It's because there are, according to this article from Fox News, quoting Mike Rowe and quoting this economist,
there are now 7 million able-bodied males between 25 and 40 years old that are able to work and are not even looking for work.
Yeah, that's correct.
And it's staggering. And so
the point here is that what's going on? This is causing massive economic problems. Before we look
at the social, very quick glance here. When you have a gap in the jobs like we've had now for the
last two years, then you've got real small businesses being hurt by this. Think about the
restaurants in your small town.
They can't find people to work and it's affecting their livelihood.
Then the other economic factor is, of course, we still see a war for talent.
And so wages have gone up tremendously in the last two years,
which has now led to a stubborn inflationary period that we are in.
Now that's the economic piece.
The social piece, what's crazy about this is that you've got 6.8 million people.
Last month, according to the latest jobs report and the Census Bureau,
100 million Americans weren't working last month. Now, half of them were working.
100 million.
Were working. No, I've got to hold on. No, we don't of 100 million 100 million 100 million but half were working no i've got
hold on no we don't have 100 million unemployed there's only 300 million the whole thing say
they were unemployed i'm saying just not working period i'm just breaking the numbers down oh yeah
like half are half are retired okay okay another 12 percent are dealing with some type of long-term
illness so they're or disability okay and then 5.6 million people saying, I don't want to go back to work because they're scared of COVID.
And then the number is right at 7 million that are saying, I don't want to work.
And those are the men.
So the social factor that's going on here is you've got two factors.
One, you've had decades and decades of entitlements.
Starts with welfare.
And then if you look at during COVID where people were getting payments every week, every month. All right. So that's an entitlement where they're
disincentivized to actually go back to work. And then Dave, I think the fact that for decades,
we've literally taken the pain away from our kids. We've removed the struggle. And I don't say this
with jest, but I think when you look at things like everybody gets a trophy for participation,
and nobody learns the sting of failure, nobody learns the sting of rejection.
So what happens is a good amount of the 7 million men, not all of them, are in this conversation that Mike had with this economist,
are looking at screens based on the data.
They say how much time they spend on screens.
They get dopamine hits.
2,000 hours a year.
2,000 hours a year.
These 7 million men, 25 to 54, are spending 2,000 hours a year on screens.
So self-medicating because they're scared to leave the cave, using your old analogy.
It's not cave.
It's mother's basement.
Right.
But the idea is they're afraid to put themselves out there.
And here's what we know about work.
So when someone succeeds in work, their self-esteem goes up.
Two, they have financial independence or the opportunity for financial freedom.
And then three, they're a part of something bigger than themselves.
It's a sense of belonging.
Dr. John Delaney would tell you your mental health goes up because your dignity, your that's it your ability to control your environment goes up there is such a uh mental illness tie-in no question caused by
not working that's right uh literally the so this idea that you have not put gravel in the
stomach of your kids they have no grit means as a parent, you suck.
And so you mommies need to throw your 25 year old out of his, out of your basement yesterday and put him on the street and teach him to work.
You're late to the party, but you need to do this.
You are doing him a disservice.
You are doing America a disservice.
You are doing your neighbors a disservice.
You're doing the mental health community a disservice you are doing your neighbors a disservice you're doing the mental health
community a disservice you're risking his increased likelihood of depression anxiety and suicide
that's exactly right you are you are doing all of these things because you're letting junior play
call of duty 2 000 hours a year in your basement and he ain't ever been called to any duty yeah
and the irony is is you're doing all of that under the guise of helping your
kid feel good about themselves and the very thing that they need to feel good about themselves is to
go out and do good yeah it's the wussification of america yeah yeah it's just a bunch of wussies
yeah is what it amounts to and you know seriously a good cowboy boot in the butt of this whole thing
would be helpful it really really would it just pisses me off i mean
this is just a thing where you just need to work oh my god seven million and they stop they call
the men in this article i'll call them males all right males 25 50 25 to 40 7 million of them
literally sitting on their butts and someone else is caring for them
the government uh their mommy their live-in girlfriend who thinks he's cute um here's the
breakdown sugar mama do you yeah here's a uh here's some of the census data day from a bloomberg
article the equivalent of 32 million people who aren't working are relying on savings.
That includes retirement, okay?
Another 26 million are using credit cards or loans, and 12 million have been borrowing
from families.
I knew it.
The credit card is the devil.
It's at the center of the problem.
There it is.
But here's the part we've been talking about.
12 million have said that they're borrowing from family or friends to help keep them out
of the workforce.
They're living off of other people. Family and're not you're enablers yep you're giving a drunk a drink you're giving a lazy person the ability to still be lazy you're giving someone who's in avoidance
mode because they're afraid they're scared they're paralyzed by the facing reality and stepping into
the real world when the best thing that can happen to you the most alive
you'll ever feel is when you risk it and you step up to the plate and the ball comes whizzing across
and scares the piss out of you while you swing the bat this is the best thing that can happen to you
that's right you strike out right and it's okay right sometimes it doesn't work out oh darn well
i think the the simplest way to look at what dave is saying is
remember all of us when we rode a bike the first time we were terrified horrified maybe i'm terrified
right now yeah but what happened like we took that fear we stepped into it we learned to ride the bike
and it wasn't much longer before we were saying look mom no hands we go from terrified to get on
the bike to look mom no hands and that's the that's the human spirit, the idea of these kids, these men, I shouldn't say kids, but some of them are emotionally kids.
They need to feel alive.
And the way you feel alive is by making a contribution for yourself and for others.
You don't feel alive where there's no risk.
Well, that's exactly right. And coddling, the coddling of the American male, the wussification of this culture,
it is really starting to be a social problem.
And now an economic.
It started out as a parenting problem.
It started out as this.
And, hey, man, I don't know.
Do we?
No.
I'm just going to blame you moms and dads.
Well, I would say the friends and the parents are absolutely culpable.
And I would say this. You know, I can blame Call of Duty if you want. But moms and dads that are good moms and dads, rip would say the friends and the parents are absolutely culpable and i would say this you know i'm playing call of duty if you want but moms and dads that
are good moms and dads rip that crap out of the wall and say get your butt out and mow the grass
here's one other one we the people taxpayers we gotta quit giving these morons money to sit on
their butts no more government entitlements that's where we the people can do something
it's just not good for the moron. And it's not good for the government.
And it's not good for us.
I like when I make a policy recommendation.
It's a be kind to morons day, okay?
Really.
Oh my gosh.
Dave's like the soundtrack to all my policies.
This is the Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. Thank you for joining us, America.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Mike is in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.
Ken Coleman is my co-host today, Ramsey Personality.
Hey, Mike, how are you?
Good, Dave, how are you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
So my wife and I are on baby steps four through six.
We got through the first three over the last 22 months.
Good.
Thanks.
So my question is a little bit of a, a FOMO question. Um, we have $40,000 left on our house, but with the market on such a, a stark downturn,
I'm wondering if I shouldn't take that 15% that I should be putting towards the house
and possibly invest that in, um,
you know,
mutual funds or an S and P 500 index fund or something like that.
Nope.
It's kind of like the blue market special,
but you're the blue light special you've been talking about.
I'm not trying to time the market in that regard.
I'm just trying to get people to not pull money out of the market.
Sure.
No,
you need to pay off your house,
dude.
Okay.
Easy enough.
Yeah. I'm the market will always be there.
It'll always be up and it'll always be down.
You got plenty of time.
You got plenty of time.
Right now, we want to finish this up and have no house payments.
Because I got to tell you, what you don't anticipate is when you pay that very last bill
and you don't have a single debt in the world your house is paid for
you're you're you're physically gonna feel this when you push that button
sure and that's way different than just taking advantage of a down market
and it just it's such it just there's this thing that happens set you free done again it does and
again this is the long game that we're talking about, right? If you just think about that feeling multiplied by decades, the financial
freedom, the emotional freedom, all of that plays out. And it's just a priority issue. I don't think
you can argue that at all. Don't get distracted. Again, this is a distraction. And I appreciate
the question. You know, say, hey, I want to take advantage because he's going the markets down this is a good time to to to jump in and that's why we tell you to stay
not put it in but stay don't pull the money out but yeah you can't argue the long game
yeah you know stick the these systems that we've put in place work are and are case studied out
and modeled out for 30 years 10 million people people have done them for up times and down times,
for inflationary cycles, for recessionary cycles,
all these different things.
Gas prices are $5 or $2.
It's the only systems that work in all times.
And, yeah, inflation is scary.
And, yeah, the market being down is scary.
And, yeah, the market being down is tempting to put money in.
I get all of that.
But just stay the course.
Just stay the course.
Just stay the course.
Just slow and steady wins the race.
Tortoise beats the hare every time.
Lydia is in Atlanta.
Hi, Lydia.
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you, Dave?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
Thanks for taking my call.
Sure.
So this is more of an ethical question.
So my husband, I'm calling on behalf of my husband, he is committed to working at a particular company for five years.
He's in year four of it. He, meanwhile, has created a business that
has taken off and is providing everything that we need. But he's been working that business
after he works his full-time job, which takes a lot of time and commitment and lots of time
away from his family. He would like to quit his full-time job a year early.
So that's where that whole question comes in.
Who commits to a five-year deal?
I know.
That's weird.
And this is all verbal.
There was no contract.
It was kind of off the cuff.
He was being rehired at this place
because he quit for a year and a half pursuing something else.
And he came back and he wanted a five-year commitment if he was going to rehire him.
So at that point, he didn't have...
What is he making at his side gig profit?
He is making just as much at his full-time job, which I don't want to say on mine because we have lots of people who listen who know us.
Nobody knows who you are.
The question I have here is
beyond the verbal, hey, if I rehire you, I want you to commit for five
years, was there anything else tied to the conversation?
Obviously, there's no contract conversation obviously there's no contract
so there's no legal issue here this is just how do you want to leave because he wants to leave and
you want him to leave well to the extent that you can so what else was committed to beyond just hey
will you come back and and give me five years was that basically the the in and out of it i i think
it was we'll hire you back at what you were making when you quit.
Has he done very well over the last four years for this company?
Yes.
And how's his relationship with his current leader
or the ultimate boss?
It's good.
It's very good.
He had worked there for a really long time
with the exception of that year and a half break.
So he's worked there for a long time. with the exception of that year and a half break so he's worked there for a long time we highly respect a lot of people that work there
and that's the biggest thing he's afraid of is losing a lot of that respect well reputation
i think this is man-to-man conversation exactly you go in you sit down you tell the truth yeah
okay listen i gave you my word i gave you my word that i would be here five years
and i'm going to ask you to release me from that obligation because i i am ready i'm ready to go
huh it happened you did have this conversation oh and what did i say and and he it was brought up
but you committed you you gave me your word. You would be here for five years.
There's something beyond the word.
I get it.
But what is his position?
What is that leader worried about if he leaves?
What specifically is the holdup?
Probably because it's a hard position to replace someone in,
and it would take some time and training to get someone to that point.
But he's just so stressed out about it.
Well, there's no reason to be stressed out about it.
You make a decision, and the stress is over.
And the decision is you're going to stay or the decision is you're going to go.
It's over.
Either way, I mean, just make a decision.
The stress is coming from the ambivalence, the indecisiveness.
And he doesn't want to be unliked.
He doesn't want people to bash him, but I don't know how much of that you can control.
He did give his word, right?
Your husband, Boone?
I think he stays for a year.
I think he stays.
I think he finishes.
Well, you've got to honor your word is what I'm saying, but I've got to work around potentially.
I think your husband's number one priority is to find his own replacement and commit to the training and the
quicker he can find his replacement now this is if the leader commit agrees to this so if I go help
you find the right person to replace me and I help with the training and we get that person there
then I'd like to leave earlier if we get it there. I think that's the only way to shorten the 12 months.
And I would try that.
If it were me, I would be trying to advance my leaving,
but doing it in an honorable way that fulfills the need that I am creating.
But if you want to hold me to it,
I'm going to go ahead and give you my notice now that on that day I'm gone.
That's fair.
And that's kind of how we're at that right now
um how would you handle him so he's asked for less responsibility but he's been given the opposite
they've just piled stuff on him and made his job more stressful no i'm not gonna i refuse to accept
the extra responsibility i didn't promise you that that's a separate conversation i would be here
yeah that's just a boundary issue compensation during this five years has not increased by much it doesn't matter so it yeah it doesn't matter he's going
to be there a year because he promised he would be okay and it's bothering him and it's bothering
them and there's a little more depth to all of this than i'm getting in this call that i can't
see behind the curtain i can feel it's there but I don't know what else is going on here exactly um but anyway the personal
aspect of it yeah yeah I think there's some personal relationships here I think there's
some personal relationships that are weaving into this as well and so anyway um no I'm not
taking any more responsibility I'm going to fulfill my word i'm not going to run your whole
business for you that wasn't what i told you i would do i told you i wouldn't quit for five
years and i'm not going to quit i'm going to give you my notice now at the five-year mark
i'll be my last day i'm done um in the meantime i'm going to do the exact job description that
you told me to do and i'm not going to work more hours and I'm not going to take on more responsibility for the same money.
If you want to do that, you need to hire somebody else.
And, you know, that's fair.
You're keeping, you know, you're keeping your word playing through.
And I think he wants to do that, and you just don't want him to.
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