The Ramsey Show - App - DAVE RANT: This Is a Million Dollar Mistake (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Kristina Ellis discuss: Why annuities suck, Pulling from a 401(k) at age 55, What to do when you can't afford to move out after a divorce, Taking an estranged child out of a will. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. We're glad you're with us, America.

Christina Ellis, number one bestselling author, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today as we talk to you about your life and your money. The phone numbers are easy and the call is free. Some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Matthew is with us in Los Angeles. Hi, Matthew. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, how are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Well, I have a couple of quick questions. First of all, I have a annuity slash 401k plan, and there's about close to a million dollars in there. And I got this letter from the organization and they have this program and it's called a single life annuity and is, uh, I'll read it to you. It says that pays you a fixed amount of money each month for the rest of your life. And then it says, following your death, no payments will be made to your

spouse of your heirs. So the estimated payment that they'll pay me under that condition is forty three hundred dollars a month now they also offer that sucks right forty eight thousand dollars on a million dollars four point eight percent return on your million dollars and then you lose all your money at death well this is the thing um i i i don't know if i you misunderstood they're going to pay me yes they're going to pay me forty three hundred dollars a month yeah forty eight thousand dollars a year okay that's correct yeah you do quick math okay but they also but they also offer that for a lesser amount, which will be $3,600 a month, that my spouse will be able to continue at that amount for the rest of her life.

That's so sweet. So they're going to screw you again. No, no, no, and no, and no, and no, and no, and no, and no. This is a million-dollar mistake. Okay. So have you got a fireplace by chance i do okay good you can use this letter for kindling okay well see the thing is is that and that's kind of my question is you're always concerned on how long you're going to live now i mean um is i mean i'm concerned that you're a million dollars poorer when you die after only getting a 4.8 percent return on your money okay that concerns me when you could have

been in good mutual funds averaging a 10 rate of return and when you die the million dollars is still there right right right so this is like a well it's like you're you're accepting half the money you should be getting per month and you lose all of your money at retirement and they wink and nod and act like they're doing you a favor this is laughable i i think the reason that they bring this forward is because a lot of folks don't like to have to deal with, you know, The reason they bring it forward is anybody that's dumb enough to do it, they're screwing them out of a million dollars. That's the reason they bring it forward. It is not. Well, they present it as being convenient for you.

Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, you have a guarantee guarantee you're guaranteed to be screwed yeah okay i mean seriously if you can listen i mean if you the stock market has averaged 11.8 percent since it began right if it does half of what it is averaged for the next 20 years you are still going to have more money per month and then leave your heirs a million dollars more than these goobers are offering you you understand the difference right oh no no no million dollar swing at death yeah well although that you do know this the million dollars is still you know it's not taxed yet. I mean, you know, I haven't pulled it out. I do know that, and I do know that your income is going to be taxed as you pull it off per the income.

But I wasn't even going to touch the million. I was going to live off of the return it created, and it just sits there. Right. And guess what? It's not taxed. So there you go. No no no no no when a life insurance company says we are here to help you in general it's like the government saying we are here to help you in both cases you should scream set your hair on fire and run out of the room

right yeah and i think i mean they do play into that convenience factor i think a lot of people feel overwhelmed and they're like we we'll take care of you. Don't worry about, you know, you could live 30 more years and we'll make sure you're taken care of. But it's not really the reality of the situation. They're not there to be super generous to you. Another way of looking at Matthew is you wouldn't have a million dollars if you had been using their products to grow your wealth. You wouldn't even have this problem. The fact that you were self-sufficient. Well, and it's like, if you want to have that convenience factor,

if you are feeling a little bit overwhelmed with your finances and you have savings, then talk to a smart investor pro. I mean, that's someone who can take that overwhelm and guide you into things that are really going to grow your money and help you in the long run being broke is always inconvenient having half the money you should have is inconvenient that's inconvenience so uh no don't don't look for a babysitter um don't look for a magic wand manage your money make your money behave live off of. I mean, a million dollars creating a 10% rate of return is $100,000 a year, not $50,000 a year. Yeah. Well, and just the fees on these products are ridiculous. I was just talking with my in-laws about this over Thanksgiving, and they were talking about annuities and showing me some of the paperwork, and it's like, whew, that is

ridiculous. Even if there is a death benefit, it is not great. Yeah, yeah. And it's just, so the best thing to do is to run from these people as fast as you possibly can. Do your investing in good investments, and good investments are never found at life insurance companies. Do not go to the transmission store to fix your muffler. They work on transmissions. Life insurance people should be in the life insurance business. They got in the investment business because they figured out it was a way to screw people.

And that's what this is. Anytime you pay someone half of what they should be getting per month and then you keep their money when they die, that by definition is screwing them. And so if you don't like it and you're in that business, you should get in another business, and that way I won't say you're screwing people. Dave Ramsey said you're a crook. Okay, that's what Dave Ramsey just said. I stand up for the consumer. I don't give a flip what you think if you work for a life insurance company.

You can just pound sand, right? And so that was nice. I cleaned that up considerable but the um no seriously um i you know there's there's entire websites devoted from the life insurance world that hate on dave ramsey and i am blessed by that fact because that means that i'm standing up for the consumer instead of you out there you listeners listeners, because I am not taking a poll with those morons. Oh, my gosh.

No, really, seriously. Go handle your own money. You'll have more money during life. You'll have more money during death. Ride the roller coaster yourself. They're riding it and keeping the change while you sit there and take the lint out of your pocket, and that's all you get. This is the Ramsey Shop.

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Get the course in the hands of people who need it. It's what financial peace is all about, living and giving like no one else. So to buy FPU as a gift, go to RamseySolutions.com slash give FPU. RamseySolutions.com slash G-I-V-E F-P-U. Christina Ellis, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. Dennis is with us in New York City. Hi, Dennis. How are you? Hi, Dave and Christina. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? I was just wondering, I haven't heard you talk about it, I don't think. My pension allows

me to retire at 55. And so I've read up on, I believe it's called the law of 55 that you can you can pull from a 401k if you retire right yeah there's a calculation there's a calculation that you can it's a very small amount once you run the formula without being penalized uh and it's it's really pretty minuscule so if you don't have like a massive 401k it's not going to amount to anything oh okay i didn't know there was a restriction on the amount oh definitely is yeah now the exception is there are a few special 401ks or special industries special companies that are structured in such a way that at 55 it's available. But 99% of them, including mine, are available only after 59 and a half. Dennis, how much do you have in your 401k?

Right now, 340, I think. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I've got another 17 years to retire. So what are you going to do? Just go do something else? Well, I'll have a pension from my company. Yeah.

I mean, you're 55 years old. What are you going to do? Sit on your butt for 40 years? Of course, yeah. Find something to fill the time. Yeah. Like go make more than you used to make doing something you love? Probably, yeah.

Okay. What do you make now? $150 this year so far. What do you do? I work for the utility company. Okay. Electric and gas and stuff. But listen, so what I'm challenging is this premise that life is better when you don't have work.

I kind of think life is better when you do have work you know the number of people that die like two years after they retire because they sit around have nothing to do and they just die it's crazy i mean it's um so there's a purpose now if you hate what you're doing and you want to move to a different chapter fine but i've had friends for instance i had a friend of mine that sold his business out when he was 32, went bass fishing for three years, got fat, and caught a bunch of fish and got fat and got bored and went back into business at 36. And he was worth $10 million, but he was just bored out of his gourd. He said, bass fishing, I thought that was going to be the end. I thought, rest of my life, I get to do whatever I want. I'm going to play golf and bass fish.

That's all I'm going to do. And he said, it was absolutely the most empty life I've ever had he says i wanted to do something and move something around and contribute and i think you'll find that you find more happiness doing that that's my challenge now i'm not saying you don't necessarily leave this job or this career but i would what we call it in our world is an encore career after the play is over you take a bow and you come out and you do or after the concert's over you come out and you do an encore you play another song right and sometimes the song after the bow after the standing ovation is the best one you ever sing and so it's not unusual at all for

someone 55 to make the most money they've ever made in their life doing something they love when they left the job that got them that far and take a bow. Yeah, Dennis, I would challenge you to create a vision for what this next season of life is going to look like. And if you want to take six months or a year, you know, to bass fish, hopefully you don't get a little chunky like Dave's friend, but, you know, take some time to do something fun. That's great. But then think through what do you want to do after that? I mean, what does that look like, that encore career?

Or maybe it's nonprofit service. Maybe there's something else you're passionate about. But create that vision before you leave your job so that you're really motivated moving forward. And let's get him a copy of Paycheck to Purpose. Absolutely. So that he can, you know, kind of work through what does that next career look like that's going to light you on fire? Let's do it. I'm in. Just do something. I mean, you don't have to be stressed out and i'm saying i'm just saying you just life is more fun when you're contributing rather than just uh coasting and you're going to find that pretty quick bernard is in california hey bernard how are you how you doing dave better than i deserve how can we help yes um i was i'm in a dilemma, so to say.

It's been reached that it looks like my wife and I are going to enter into the world of divorce. And I bought a house just recently, haven't even been a year yet. And we have disagreement on how we should raise our 19-year-old daughter and the 19-year-old daughter one. And we've been at odds ever since the 26th of September. And so I have a brand new house. And if I initiate the divorce process, I, as the guy, have to leave the house. Who said? Well, the attorneys who are basically trying to see where my footing was, and they said that I have to leave the house.

There's not a judge in the world that's going to put an 11-year-old child in the street, and I cannot leave the house and go and pay rent someplace and still pay the mortgage. So I was going to have a meeting today with my family and tell them, look, I can't afford to file and can't afford to leave the house, so i'm gonna have to stay here and cash this out now i'm the i'm the sole breadwinner here in the house okay so how does she expect to live after she divorces you or causes you to file divorce well she's listening to some arm arm armchair lawyers, and she is saying that she's not leaving anywhere unless she has a divorce. That wasn't what I asked.

Okay, if she doesn't have a job and you can't pay rent and a house payment, how does she think that she's going to be able to live without your income? Because you're going to pay child support and maybe some alimony but it's not going to be enough to support that house and that household yes you feel that i have to some kind of way go get another job no that's not what the law says not even in weird California. I understand, but the part that I have a hard time with is if I

file, I'm the one that's going to have to leave the house. So don't file. The attorney. Yeah, so don't file. That's what I was breaking the news to them today about when everybody get out of school. Who's them? My 11-year-old daughter. You don't need to negotiate with

an 11-year-old. I appreciate that, but she's very boisterous. I couldn't have a crap less. She's 11. I got you, Dave. She's the biggest saver in the house, I guarantee it. Yes.

And therein, we have your problem, sir. I think you need to become the biggest in the house again. The inmates are running the asylum. There's your issue. But no, dude. I mean, money doesn't just suddenly start appearing in her pocket or your pocket because we can't get along. And your income doubles and she can magically live the life she's been living. This house will be sold and she will be getting a job,

and the 11-year-old will be in freaking daycare. This is what's going to happen. So everybody needs to get their heads around what this is going to cause when we're all here, and then maybe we can decide who's really making decisions there. are you sick of planned obsolescence you know when companies make products crappy so you have to buy more of their crappy products well me too and it's why i love companies like grip six grip six is all about quality products meant to last forever. That's why their comfortable, bulk-free belts, slimline wallets, and lightweight wool socks all come with a lifetime warranty and simple returns and exchanges. So check them out at Grip6.com

today and get up to 20% off with the promo code Ramsey. Christina Ellis, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. This is The Ramsey Show. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Amar and Jennifer are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, how are you guys? Better than we deserve.

Where do you guys live? We're from Orlando, Florida. Oh, very good. Well, good to have you. Thank you for having us. Very cool. So how much debt have you paid off? We paid off $103,000 to have you. Thank you for having us. Very cool. So how much debt have you paid off? We paid off $103,000.

All right. And how long did this take? 18 months. Wow. And your range of income during that time? It was $77,000 to $125,000. Very cool. Very cool.

So what kind of debt was the $103,000? Majority was my student loans, taxes, credit cards, and consumer debt. Oh, you kind of just had everything. A little bit of everything. Super normal. Super normal. Super normal. Yeah, very good. All right. How long you guys been married? Two years. We just celebrated our two-year anniversary on the 20th of november ah very good yes very good well it's an honor to have you all today congratulations thank you thank you so happy to be here right after you get married you go game on we're cleaning this mess up tell me the story yes well i mean once we got married um long story short yes we've been living the normal life, stuff that you don't know. We were ignorant about our finances.

We didn't know how to manage our money, none of that stuff. So we were obviously living paycheck to paycheck. We have plenty, plenty of stories. I have one of them, for example, that I always mention to people that now I talk about finances is that I ate the most expensive cookie I've ever had from a gas station why was that because I paid 150 for the cookie and then the overdraft kicked in so it was like 37 dollars 37 dollar cookie you know gourmet gas station cookie not even it was super dry now the free one that you have here, they're a lot better.

For so many reasons. Exactly. I love it. Yeah, so, I mean, it was all the norm. You know, we didn't know, so you don't do what you don't know. You know, so. Yeah, so after we got married in 2020 of November, we did the typical couple thing.

We wanted to buy a house. So we met up with his brother, who's a realtor and a lender. And we pretty much asked, they asked us the questions like, what's your debt? What's your income? What's your credit score? And every question that they ask us, we're just like, oh my God, we are so in over our heads.

There's no possible way we can afford a house right now. And that's what kind of kicked us into gear. Yeah, we're like, okay, this is not going to happen happen it's like when you go to the doctor and you don't want to tell them what you do you know you are bad do you do this um yes you know so you know you know you're gonna be sick right so um yeah so that happened after that uh we got i mean we got your book uh we'll get we'll get into that in a second. I read the book. I was telling Jennifer, a.k.a. Boo Boo, that's the name I gave her, Boo Boo. And I told her, Boo Boo, this is what we got to do.

Because if we do not make a change, it's not going to happen. And it was like if I was in a boxing match with a book. Read, read, read. It was a jab to the face. Read, read, read. You know, it was jab to the face. Read, read, read. Jab to the face. You know, Ramsey with the boxing gloves. Ouch, Dave.

And it was definitely, definitely a mindset change. It has to be. It has to start with you. And until that happens, nothing's going to change. You know, it's like what you guys say. If nothing change, nothing changes, right? So we had to do gonna change you know it's like what you guys say if nothing change nothing changes right so we had to do something you know so we got really really got selling tents after that we started knocking down small debts I feel like I feel like the first 80 to 100 pages of the book is all about

mindset you know behavior and that's the main thing that we got on to you know started paying off the debt snowball yeah things that I enjoy the most about that journey was not seeing due dates I don't have to pay on the fifth oh I don't have to be on the 17 again. Thank God. You know, so it gives you peace. Relief. Yeah, the whole thing changes. The only thing was that as we paid the smaller one, then we have more money for the next one, you know, and it got to a point that we were paying $6,000 to $7,000 a month, you know,

and like everything, I think we were tried as soon as we started. Like we started like in February of 2021. And in May, my son got into an accident in my car and totaled the car. Totaled the car. Scariest thing that I've ever experienced in my life. But thankfully, nothing happened to him. But then that set us back a month. Because the money that we needed to use for the debt,

then we had to we had to do it to get a new car not a new car no I mean a new to Oscar right now that thing is you have a lot of people around you telling you no but you're in a good position to finance a car you just get a car yeah so many people were telling us just buy a car just buy a brand new car put a small down payment okay we're like no we just started this journey we cannot fall back yeah the book will hit you in the face don't do that you gotta be aware of this book you know so uh definitely i mean obviously we didn't get into that and uh it took us a couple of weeks and uh we found a

reliable car you know for six actually six uh sixty five hundred dollars which is the amount of money that we normally were paying uh the debt funny story is that the guy that sold it to us had just put it online five minutes before we saw it I remember the first one was that saw it next day we were buying it because we had the cash so you know the trials or you know that the tests are gonna come whenever you are focused on something. Just make sure that you do not detour from what you really want to do. How does it feel to be free?

It's amazing. It's a breath of fresh air. Was it worth it? Oh, man. Oh, 100%. You sleep better. You dance better. You talk better.

You walk better. Everything is a lot, a lot better yes so for the people out there who are normal who are you know spending on credit who are where you guys were before how do they go from that to where you are now because you guys are obviously on fire like you dove all in what would you tell that person yeah it, it's just discipline. You got to have the discipline to not buy those cute pair of shoes. And you can save that outfit for another time. You know, for me especially, I love shoes and clothes. So that was for me, it was a discipline.

Just try not to focus on those things that will get me in trouble. She didn't buy anything for a long time. For like a whole year, I didn't buy anything. I was so proud of her. Yeah, for me, I think the most important thing is that the mindset change, you know, the behavior, like you said, right? 80% behavior is 20% math. And it really is stuff that you don't understand until you go through it. And that's one of the main things. One thing I want to say, though, also is I think for you to be successful in anything,

having the right support system or having the right people next to you helps a lot I'll give you a quick example of what that what I mean by that I have my friends and family they're friends that became family you know Johnny Carla David and and and Nino David right oh yeah yeah he was talking to us about Ramsey for about four years. And I didn't even remember the name. We didn't even listen to him. We were not ready to receive what he had to give.

And once he knew that we were trying to buy a house and all of this stuff, but he knew where we were because we were friends. Then one day he knocked on my door, my house. And he hit you with a bar. I know. you with a book almost almost almost this is going back no he knocked on the door this book is filing he knocked on the door all he did he didn't even say hi or anything he walked in put that book on the table pat me in the back and walked out and i'm like i love it bro what's going on and and that's and that's actually how i started so we are super super grateful for you guys uh because without friends like that you know cheering us on and and giving us accountable yes uh it's really really hard to do you know not only then our

family too they're super happy because they've seen where we were you know and now they see where we are so guys we've got the Live and Give Bundle for you. Yes. The Total Money Makeover Book, the Baby Steps Millionaire Book, and a Membership to Financial Peace University. Awesome. You ready to do a debt-free scream? Let's do it. Love it.

All right. Amar and Jennifer from Orlando, $103,000 paid off in 18 months, making $77,000 to $125,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Nice dance move. For those of you looking deeply into your radio, you missed that, but go back and watch it on YouTube. It's worth the trouble. Well done, you guys. That's a home run. This is The Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Laura is with us in Austin, Texas. Hi, Laura. How are you? I'm fine. Thank you for taking my call today. Sure. How can we help? Well, I have two adult daughters.

One, my husband husband and I do. 34 and 35. And the 35-year-old is married and lives in Colorado. And a year ago, October, we were going to go take a trip up to see her. But due to the pandemic and our very different views on masking and social distancing and all of that. It ended up, we had a heated conversation and she has cut us out of her life completely. So we got a letter from her the following day in email saying, we're all done. It wouldn't have anything to do with us. We changed her number, changed her email, and all cards and correspondence have been returned unopened.

So I waited a whole year, and, you know, I have a will. We have a will. We both have wills. Basically, it's a 50-50 for our girls. But given where we're at now, I'm like, I don't feel comfortable if I were to die tomorrow to leave that daughter money if she won't even contact me or take my calls. And I don't know how to handle that, whether I should, is it appropriate for me to change my will or should I look at it like, well, I'm not going to be here, I won't know anything about that, just leave it and move on?

I'm so sorry. Well, I waited a year because it's like a death. No, it's worse than a death because they're still there. Yes. And our other daughter just got married two weeks ago and she you know struggled because the her sister had cut her out as well a few months before us so so i meant your other daughter just got married and her sister didn't come to the wedding no i'm so sorry no and she wasn't she didn't invite her because she knew that the invitation would have come back. I see.

Unopened. So nothing, we have not been able, unless we drove a thousand miles to Colorado from Texas, we would never, she just returns everything, says refused, returned a sender. So we can't get anything to her. All over a mask and social distancing, both of which have turned out to not be true after the smoke cleared. It's just so sad. It is. And, you know, we couldn't hug her.

And that was our thing. We said, well, if we can't hug our daughter when we come there, we don't see the value in us coming. We want to see you and hug you, and, you know, it's been two years. Let's get together. And it just wasn't going to be. Yeah, fear is a sad, sad thing. The terror that took over people's mental ability to do – the number of these stories out there is just staggering.

It's one of the huge costs of the mythology that was out there in the name of science and the cost of people believing one thing and not believing another. It's just so sad. It's just so sad. It is. It is. And it shouldn't be. I mean, as a mom as a mom your heart

must be just completely broken so it is uh what i what you have to do for you not because it's an ethical thing or a moral thing it's a part of your grieving process is you have to change your will okay i'm comfortable with no no it's not it's not it's not that's not about me it's that's you admitting what has happened right in the in the Jewish culture you'll hear them say you are dead to me you are dead to me yes and it goes back to the story that happened in Jewish culture that Christians call the story of the prodigal son. And you are dead to me.

And so dead means that the person is still alive, but there's no longer any financial or relational interaction anymore. And in the Jewish culture, if you don't have a financial interaction and you don't have a relational interaction, it is worse than a death. And so it comes from the mindset of the prodigal son. And that's what the prodigal son did. He came in and took the inheritance before his father died and went and squandered it, right?

You know the story. I do. But there's a reason for all of that in that culture and um that is it's a mental health reason and it's it's for you to process the loss of your daughter yes i'm so sorry yeah though just the changing of the changing of the will is just a part of you grieving and recovering from this. If it changes, you can always come back. If the situation changes, you can always come back and change it later.

And you're not doing this to punish her because she's not even going to know it. You know? I know. I think that that's the thing you think about is, well, when I'm gone and she would find out that she got nothing. That's the cost of doing business the way she's done business. Okay. But that's not relevant. This is not about punishment, and it's not about revenge,

and it's not about vengeance. It's not about hitting back for the hurt. This is about closing the loop, closing the storyline. And if we can open the storyline later that is fine but but it would not be it's not good mental health for you to leave the will dangling as a false hope in your mind and that's what's that's what it's doing I just I to throw this in there I would just offer a bit of a challenge even if the will is changed I think it'd be easy at that point to just go, this story

is done and she's cut out of my life and I want nothing to do with her and then sit with anger and unforgiveness. I think that especially if the will is changed, in order to get to the story of the prodigal son and be like that father, you have to have a heart of forgiveness so that if the daughter ever comes back, you receive her with open arms. So I would just encourage you to also still work through those emotions and the hurt and the anger that comes from whatever argument there was and work on forgiving that daughter so that if the story continues at some point, you're ready for it and you can have a relationship

again. Yeah. Again, that's what I'm saying. Your motivation is not about hitting back. Your motivation is not anger-based. It's just sadness. And it's going, this is the recognition that she's not in our life. And so it's illogical, and it's bad psychology and bad spiritual to leave her in there at this point.

But it doesn't really have anything to do with her, it's got to do with you. And that's kind of what forgiveness, that's what forgiveness is as well, what Christina's talking about. I mean, that's got to do with you, not her. Because she's not receiving anything, you know, because you're not talking to her. There's no way to get to her, and you can't, and no, I'm not

going to show up on her front porch and confront her, cutting, I mean, she made this decision. She's a grown-up. You cannot control other people's decisions. And you didn't cause it. You just disagreed. I mean, people disagree about politics and don't speak for the rest of their lives.

They disagree about a piece of furniture and don't speak for the rest of their lives. And this is, it's just so low shelf. It's not a very high shelf way of living. But it would be sad for the relationship to end permanently over COVID and mask restrictions. But this is not up to her. It's up to her daughter. Right.

She didn't end it. Her daughter did. That's true. But just having the heart of forgiveness. I'm just saying they're open. That's fine. If it comes back open, be open-handed if they come back. But you cannot make people like you.

You cannot make people behave. You cannot make people be nice. You can't make people grow a brain that don't have one. You can't. You just can't. You just have to accept them where they are and just go, that's forgiveness. I'm just going to let you be what you is. And then if you ever want to be something different we'll talk about that too

that's okay but yeah this is the this is a dangling thing in your psychology it's hanging back there you think about it when you wake up in the morning and changing the will puts more closure on this and allows you to move on past this this loss that's very real and uh hang on we're gonna send you a copy of dr deloney's book on your past change your future um i cannot think of a hardly anything that would be more hurtful and harmful to have to go through than that um and it is in many ways worse than a death sorry i'm so sorry you're facing this. This is The Ramsey Show. Have you been inspired to make a change with your money? Want to know where to start?

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