The Ramsey Show - App - DAVE RANT: Washington Is NOT Going to Solve America's Problems! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Ramsey Personality Dr. John Deloney is my co-host today here on the air. We're taking your calls about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. John, we don't spend much time on this show talking about politics.

Uh-oh um because i'm a firm believer that you control more of your life than they do correct and yet we are you and i are you're have a doctorate in counseling and you and i were discussing that we are seeing a new syndrome in the mental health field uh pop up the post-election deranged disorder. And it manifests itself in one of two ways, depending on who you voted for or you deeply believed in. If you voted for and deeply believed in Donald Trump, you are irrationally depressed and think that the world is coming to an end.

Several of my friends are contemplating, you know, where they're going to live other than the United States. I mean, they just have lost their dadgum minds. And then if you voted for Biden and were deeply invested in that emotionally, you have the post-election deranged disorder and are irrationally exuberant. We won! We won!

As if you're going to get a car. That's right. Like Oprah got elected. You get a car and you get a car and you get a car? That's right. Like Oprah got elected. You get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car. No loans for anybody. Yeah, we're just going to completely, it's communism now, and we're all going to be entitled. Now, guess what? They're both wrong.

That's right. This is a mental disorder. Yes. There's a third one, and those are the folks just collecting coffee and bullets because they think that the currency is going to be, that's going to be the new currency, right? We're just going to trade coffee and bullets for food. We're going to eat our pets. Which, if that's the case, Tennessee's in pretty good shape.

We are going to be in great shape. Tennessee and Texas and Arkansas, that's going to be the no-go zone, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, for certain, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And really, all joking aside, but not really joking, some of you and some of you that would fall within the circle of my personal influence as well as the influence from this show need

to get a life. You are not dependent upon Washington, D.C. If you are a liberal and you think that Washington, DC is going to solve America's problems, you are stupid. If you are a conservative and you think that Washington, DC is going to solve America's problems, you are stupid. And if you think it's going to fix your life, you're stupid. I'm 60 years old.

I've been working for 40 plus years, earning money, paying income tax, and none of these people have sent me money. There's been quasi-socialists and people that were conservative just to the right of Genghis Khan in the White House during these times, and none of them fixed my life or run my life. Just kept it plugging along, huh? Well, I mean, yours too. Yeah. You know, your mama and daddy, my mama and daddy. I mean, it's, guys, what happens at your house is more important than what happens at the White House.

Why is that so hard for people to wrap their head around? We want the Lone Ranger to come and rescue us. We want this to get easy someday. That's what it is. This grown-up thing is going to get easy someday. And somebody else is going to do the work for us. and somebody else is going to do the work for us and someone else is going to do the sacrifice for us and we can be little children again we all want that that life has this hidden lottery i keep thinking i'm going to get discovered it's not going to happen that colonel parker's going to

come along and i'm going to be elvis that this whole radio and publishing thing and this whole being in the media thing is going to get easy all of a sudden right that i'm not going to have to deal with crooked people right that i'm not going to have to deal with people who betray you and talk about you behind your back who said they were your friends i keep thinking this is going to get easy welcome to grown-up land boys and girls girls. It gets harder, harder and harder. There's a great theologian named Rich Mullins who said the worst part about being a Christian is that it's every single day. And you could never memorize all the books of Abraham to where you never had to do anything else, right? You can't finish.

Right, and I've rattled that around in my head. That works for exercising. I can never have such a good workout on a Monday that I'm done for the rest of the month, right? Well, donuts. Yeah, I'm just going to – I don't have to. I did this good workout on Monday, so I need a box of donuts every morning the rest of the week. And I'll think about doing another one in December, right? Yeah.

And it's the same with your money. It's the same with your marriage. You wake up every day and decide, I'm going to love her no matter what. Yep. In spite of myself. Yep. And I'm going to default to these things that I know. I'm going to let these children live another day.

Well, I don't know, man. I got a four and a half year old. She is pushing on me, Dave. Oh, man. You know, part of being a grown up is nobody's going to do it for you. And it's every day. And it's every day. And it's every day. It's every day.

Make your bed. Wave to your neighbor every day. Make your bed. Yeah, do your stuff, man. Be kind every day. And guess what? You know, you being a troll on Twitter is not going to make your life better. No one has ever been convinced to vote politically or to meet Jesus by someone being mean to them.

Never. It's never happened. No one has ever yelled and cussed and screamed at me and convinced me to do anything. That's right. Ever. Ever. In my whole stinking, bald-headed life, it has never happened. No.

And so stop it. Stop. Stop it. Be a grown-up. What happens at your house, which is what we teach you around here, we help you with you. Stop. Stop it. Be a grown-up. What happens at your house, which is what we teach you around here, we help you with you. Right. And you're the solution to your problem, and you're the problem to your problem,

just like I am at my house and you are at your house, John. So the post-election deranged disorder is real, and it has to do if you placed your hope on the wrong things which will always cause your hope to dissipate because guess what if you place your hope on that preacher he's gonna let you down 100 he's a man that's right he's gonna screw up something he'll say something you don't like someday. You place your hope on that boss. These people come to work here. They got stars in their eyes. They think Dave Ramsey's the second coming.

It takes them about 20 seconds to figure out that's not right. It didn't take me that long, but I got what you're saying. I get what you're saying, right? I get what you're saying. Three, two, John. Okay. That's right. But, yeah, at some point, folks have to go look in the mirror and say, I've got to be responsible.

Yes, there is hard stuff. Yes, there's a ton of things we've got to do together. But you can't control the DC thing. It starts with me looking in the mirror and saying, I'm going to choose. It's irrational exuberance and it's irrational depression. It really is irrational. Right. Because it means you place your hope on something that is not logical, is not going to work it's not going to work it never has so give people one or two things

they can do tell me a time that washington dc fixed your life and i'll shut up about it you know i can't think of one i mean it doesn't freaking exist and yet people are running around hooting and hollering and honking their horns like Biden's going to send them a car. And my conservative friends are just like, they really do. Some of them really are buying coffee and bullets. I mean, oh, my gosh. And gold bars and other stupid crap. And this morning when I got to work here, someone had put a note in my box that made my whole day start off right.

What did it say? It just said, thanks for being you and thanks for some stuff I had done. But I'm telling you, it was not looking for somebody else to solve the problem. Somebody wrote me a note. It's that easy to be about changing your community and your neighborhood and your home. Be nice. Be kind. There's a good start.

Don't place your hope on the wrong things. Dr. John Deloney, my co-host today this is the day ramsey show over the years i've seen so many families suffer by not having life insurance it's not that they didn't care it's just that they didn't know. It's just that they didn't know, so they did nothing. That's a huge mistake. Listen, husbands and wives, moms and dads, think about it. If you died, how would your family pay the bills, the mortgage, food, and plan for a better future? This is what life insurance is all about, and term life is the only way to go. It's not expensive, and it's not complicated.

Stop wasting money on cash value plans. You need 10 to 12 times your income in protection and I recommend 15 or 20 year level plans. I also only recommend Zander Insurance and I have for over 20 years. These are the only people I personally use and they only offer the plans i recommend call them at 800-356-4282 or get instant quotes online at zander.com trust me these simple steps will let your family know how much you care Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, author of the new quick read that is now out officially entitled Anxiety. Redefining anxiety. Oh, that, yeah. Taking a different look at something.

A different kind of anxiety if you get the title wrong. That's right. That's exactly right. No, I'm excited about it, man. It's a quick laser beam of a little book that gets right to the point, man, talking about. Well, these quick reads are like a chapter, two chapter books. So it's like 30, 40 pages, right? Well, this is about 80 pages and it gets right to the point. If you got two PhDs, it's a big chapter.

They let me go a little bit long. Yeah, we did have some negotiations on how long I could keep running my mouth a little bit. But it is about changing the way we think of anxiety, that it's a death sentence and it's forever and it doesn't have to be. Check it out at DaveRamsey.com. We'll get a copy of it in here and show you guys on YouTube in a few minutes. Oh, there they go. They pop it up there like already know what we're doing and everything. Amy's with us in Albany, New York. Hi, Amy.

Welcome to The Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, how are you? you great how can we help well uh my husband and i have been together for about 13 years um married for about 10 um i am the responsible financial part of our marriage. And I lost my job due to COVID. So I've been kind of feeling, you know, you're talking, referencing anxiety. I've been feeling super anxious, you know, regarding kind of losing my job and our finances. He is, like I said, the polar opposite of me. And this has been a elephant in the room, so to speak, for our whole marriage. And I'm just trying to figure out how to get him on the same page as me. What's he do for a living? He works for a municipality doing what um he's like a commercial building inspector oh okay all right

cool does he share that you are also the responsible one or does he think he is the responsible one and he just lets you have some at least to run around he he shares that i'm the responsible one and i i think kind of sometimes takes advantage of that. Okay. All right. Well, there's a whole bunch of things going on here. The reason I ask where he did for a living is I'm trying to figure out how to connect to him and speak to him in a way that allows him to hear it, okay?

When he's a building inspector and he goes in and inspects a building, if they haven't followed the formula to properly build the building, the stupid thing will fall in, and it's his job to throw a red flag, right? You guys are following a formula that has a very, very, very low statistical probability of winning with wealth building and of having a high-quality marriage. Correct. So the millionaire study that we did for Chris Hogan's book, almost all the 10,000 millionaires that were married,

the vast majority of them, had a spouse that worked as their partner, and they worked together towards common goals. And so they had shared finances. They were not roommates. Okay? So statistically, if you want to be a millionaire, you're doing it wrong. Okay.

That's kind of what we're saying, right? If you just want to say, look at the data, what's the data say? This is how you do it. And so that's from a practical guy's standpoint. That's me. I'm looking at it that way. Now, relationally, what we have found actually occurs when you share everything, which is what the old wedding vows say, for sickness and in health, for rich or for poor,

and the old ones in the Book of Common Prayer say, and unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge. Isn't that a pretty old English kind of feel? Unto thee all my worldly goods i pledge in other words i'm yours you're mine we're doing this together period not hey you lost your job i hope you worked that out it's a little different and so getting on the same page and when you can agree on your spending you're agreeing on your goals you're agreeing on your fears you're carrying burdens together and you're having celebrations together versus high-fiving your roommate who just got a raise.

Right. What does that conversation sound like when you say, let's combine this? What is his reasoning? So we tried that when we were first married, and like I said, I'm usually the very responsible one and quickly realized that he could not be reeled in with spending. You're not his mom. Yeah, you're not his mom. Correct. Yeah.

Correct. But again, what is the conversation like? If you were to sit down tonight and say, hey, I want to revisit this. Let's join. Let's get one account. What would his rebuttal be? I think he would be okay with that because of my financial stability. I guess where my concern is is knowing that even though I've lost my job currently, I was in a pretty good financial position,

you know, with the balance of my mortgage, my savings account, my retirement account. I think he would be okay with that because he may have access then to what I have kind of saved and earned. But you don't. You're not okay with it. No, I'm not, especially knowing that. Okay, so part of you joining it together means that we are both grown-ups, and we are both setting goals, and we're both agreeing on how we're going to do all our money. He gets a vote, you get a vote, we write it down, call it a budget, and we pinky swear and spit shake that we're going to stick to the contract.

And then if he goes off the rails and goes and buys something that is not on that big, some big item, comes home with a $2,000 item and says, oh, look what I did. He's broken the contract. He's lied. And that has to be the new terms of this deal. And it sounds like you have a, I may have missed something here. It sounds like you have a pronoun problem. You keep saying the money that you saved and that you paid down.

How long have you all been married? Ten years. Ten years. Yeah. This may be a him problem right now, but it sounds like it's a you problem. It sounds like you are reticent to receive him into this new, like Dave said, this new contract. Well, he has to be willing to commit to the contract and that would get rid of her her problems with this but then you can't you can't nickel and dime him on the contract that's not what i'm talking about but you say hey we are

going to lay out a budget we both have input on it we both have a vote and then we are both agreeing to be grown-ups and stick to it ain't your mama sure and she lives in poughkeepsie yeah and usually that begins with the values with the destination conversation where are you headed yeah what are you going to do where do we want to go together not i want to have this house paid off in 10 years but where are we going to be right and he's got to be a part of the values of a part of the journey conversation not a part about the did you follow up my rule conversation. Here's what's interesting with anyone, married couples or otherwise. If you say I've got a group of leaders here inside my company, when we can agree on where the money is going to go and what the goal is with the money, we create a different level of spiritual and emotional unity.

Unity, that's right. Unity, because you're communicating. Jesus said your treasure is where your heart is. And when you can agree on that, you're combining hearts. And so I don't dictate to our team what the budget is. They turn in a budget on one of the profit centers, and the vice president of publishing preston that just did this book with you he's going to turn in a publishing budget that includes what he's going

to make on redefining anxiety and what it costs and those kinds of things and then i'll look at that with him and he and i may have a discussion and make some adjustments or his svp or his e svp or whatever it would have that discussion and i might get involved but when we have finally come to agreement on what we think we're going to make and what we think we're going to spend and the profit we're going to have as a result in that business unit we have now joined hearts and you know what she she she she said something that I want to make sure everybody hears she said and I think he's gonna think this we have got to get out of other people's heads. We have to.

We've got to look at their behavior. It's so strenuous. I know, but we've got to look at their behavior. No, it's strenuous to be in their heads. It's exhausting. It takes a lot of energy to be in other people's heads. And you're almost always wrong, right? You're almost always wrong when you get in somebody else's head

and decide why they're about to do something that they hadn't even done it yet, right? Join as one. Get on the same page with where you're going to be. Join hearts. Join finances. And get out of each other's heads, man. Yeah. One checkbook.

One budget. One goal. One set of goals. One set of fears. Together. That are shared. And, man, when you do that. No stopping anybody.

Ding, ding, ding. It goes. Your probability of high-quality marriage, your probability of wealth building goes way up. And your probability of it not being either, otherwise, way down. Have a roommate. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the air. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Eric and Tiffany are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Good, how are you guys? Better than we deserve. Debt-free, way to go! Thanks. How much did guys? Better than we deserve. Debt free. Way to go. Thanks. How much did you pay off? $59,165. Very good. How long did this take?

About 17 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Between $80,000 and $100,000. Cool. What do you guys do for a living? I'm an electrician for Denier Electric. And I am actually a surety account manager, so I issue bonds.

Oh, very cool. Good for you guys. So what kind of debt was the $59,000? We had a credit card debt, two vehicles, personal loans. Kind of like normal. Yeah. Very. How long have y'all been married?

Eight years. Okay. That's about how long it takes to get that normal. Yes. So credit card, two car loans, loans personal loans just a little bit everything pretty much yeah so you're kind of bopping along just living the american dream not and uh what happened 17 months ago they got all this started well um i would say from probably the beginning of our marriage it felt like a lot of things weren't really within our control

and so um pretty early on in our marriage for the first couple of years, we were actually, um, going through fertility treatment. And so, um, that didn't work. And we decided to take a next step and, um, we decided to become foster parents. And, um, at that, there was some ups and downs. Lots of ups and downs. And it... Financially kind of hit us as well. Yeah, we didn't make a lot of best decisions when we were doing that. Sure.

Just because it was really emotional. Yeah, it was interesting. A ton of emotion, yeah. Yeah, but we did end up adopting our youngest son, Max, in 2017. And that's when we decided to, well, we were hoping to jump on the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University. And we, at the time, are my stepson, who's Cameron. Something really hard happened to him too. So again, another hard thing that really wasn't in our control. And we had to file emergency custody for him.

And so at that time, it just kept getting, we kept feeling we were getting more and more in whole. We actually had to pay it off car at the time that we had to sell to pay lawyer bills. And we had, we were selling everything. And there came a point where we were looking at each other and we were like, I think we might have to sell our house. Borrow money from our parents. We had to borrow money from our parents. We sold everything we could. And, um, it was just really, it was a really tough, hard, um, time.

And so as soon as that ended, um, we, you know, picked up Financial Peace University. We started reading, um, Total Money Makeover and, um,. And January of 2019, we were like, that's it. We can't go through this again. There can't be another situation that something happens to us that we don't have any control of how to handle. We've got to have some margin when life happens. This being out of control thing is scary. I hear you.

I know exactly how you feel. That's what grownups do. Way to go. Thanks. I mean, we you feel. That's what grown-ups do. Way to go. Yeah, thanks. I mean, we're going to control the controllables so that when the uncontrollables come, then we at least have this much margin to absorb the blows. When the big bad wolf comes, if we build out a brick, then we get to be the third pig, right? Exactly. So there we go.

Hey, way to go, guys. Thank you. Very cool. So you went to Financial Peace university and dove in but you and you were both like over it you're ready to go right more than ready yeah yeah definitely okay it was really hard i don't hear a lot of dads a lot of husbands use a word you just used you said it was scary tell me about that so it's kind of like financially terrifying as well as emotionally so with the emotion you obviously want to spend more money.

So there was some disagreements, and I think we worked through it pretty well. It took a while. Did you ever have a night where she was asleep and Foster Kibb's asleep and you're just pacing around the house trying to figure it out? Like every night. Yeah. We mean any night. It was actually more her.

I was more nervous about what was going to happen in court. But also, like, how am I going to provide for my family? There you go. And so you guys get into this. You're rocking and rolling. And then the world shuts down. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Of course. Yep. Life happens. Tell me what you guys decided then. So we actually, we kind of hoarded money for a little while. And so I was home since March. I've been working at home since March. And so we kind of paused our debt snowball.

And when we realized that neither of us, because the city we live in, Cincinnati, was starting to shut down a little bit, and he is the downtown foreman for his electrical company. And so we were like, I'm not sure if neither of us are going to be able to go to work and what's going to happen. So we actually, we hoarded it for a little while. Yeah, that's smart. Piled it up and had to write a $20,000 check to pay off the truck.

Whoa! That felt good. That felt good, though. It felt amazing, but it was, I was like, do you really want this truck? Yeah. So. I don't really want this truck? Yeah. So. I don't really like this truck that much. I thought about selling it.

Because we just went through the whole custody thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was hard. Now that you're on the other side of all of this, and you've got that margin, and you did it, you climbed the mountain, how does it feel? Amazing. Yeah.

It feels really great. We actually have finished Baby Step 3 now, too. Woo! I know. Yeah. Very cool. Very cool. It feels good.

Now, you've gone through the class. What do you tell people the steps are to getting out of debt? Because, I mean, you had everything coming at you. Pandemics, custody battles. You had everything coming at you. And you still draw your sword, fight through the thicket. And what do you tell people the key is? I would say sticking to a plan, making a budget and sticking to it,

even when you don't want to, even when you want to go buy something or not cook at home that night. I think making a plan together. Staying on the same page is definitely a huge key factor. How has this helped your marriage? Oh, we couldn't be more closer. Yeah. Yeah, very good. Take frequent date nights now.

Yeah, we have the money to do it. Have the money for the babysitter. Feels awesome. So it's great. Yeah, that's cool. Very, very cool. I guess this is the first time you've been debt-free in eight years of marriage, right? It is.

Yeah, very good. So who were your biggest cheerleaders outside the two of you so your parents my parents definitely our kids so your parents uh knew that you were doing all this then yeah they helped us out a lot they helped us through the custody the fostering oh that's right you said you borrowed money from them that you had to pay back yeah we did in, they actually tried to just give it to us, but we didn't feel comfortable with that. Oh, wow. They were your cheerleaders because they were like, hey, this will get us off the hook from being the bank too, right? They were like cheering you guys on, man.

We want you to be debt free. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. We actually had something pop up on the house recently, and I was talking to my dad, and I was like, it's going to cost us like $4,000. He's like, well, do you want some money? And I was like, we don't need your money. We don't need your money. Yeah, it felt great.

Yes, that was fantastic. That's a different kind of dignity there. Yeah. Well done, guys. We're so proud of you guys. Very well done. You brought the young men with you. What are their names and ages?

Cameron, he is 12, and maxwell he is seven all right two very fun boys thank you very fun what a great great story very cool eric tiffany cam and may from cincinnati fifty nine thousand dollars paid off we've got a copy of chris hogan's book for you everyday millionaires that's the next chapter in your story then you'll have the margin to not only uh control the controllables but help other people do that you know if you live like no one else later you can live and give like no one else all right fifty nine thousand dollars paid off in 17 months making 80 to 100 000 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream ready three two one we a debt-free scream. Ready? Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Woo! Woo! Yeah, baby! That's how it's done. You've got a couple here who's already about changing legacies, right? They foster kids, stepkids. They have an open heart and open home. And

sometimes when we try to give with money we don't have, we end up weighing ourselves. We drag ourselves underwater unintentionally, right? And now they flipped it around and they are not only changing hearts and legacies, but man, now they're planting trees for those two boys that those two boys are going to eat from fruit. Those guys are never going to see. But what an incredible, incredible gift you've given them. Absolutely. Absolutely. On so many fronts.

On so many fronts. Yeah. Beautifully done. Well done, you guys. We're very proud of you. You're heroes. And real. Real heroes.

Man, amazing. This is the Dave Ramsey Personality, is my co-host this hour. Open phones at 888-825-5225 as we take your questions about your life and your money. Boston is with us in Charleston. That sounds confusing. Hey, Boston, what's up? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

How can I help? So I recently just graduated college in May 2020. I'm 22 years old, and i was really fortunate my dad had the 9-11 gi bill so my first three years of college were absolutely free or paid for out of pocket by my parents wow wonderful my yeah i'm extremely lucky what's your degree my dad always promised me that he would pay for my college tuition. And that last year, we had to take out 40 grand for my last out-of-state year. Who's we? I took it out in my name, under my credit score,

because my dad had a worse credit score than me. So it's technically out under my name. And my dad has automated monthly payments I'm getting a little nervous. My dad has automated monthly payments. So he is paying it off. But should I just also pay that off because it's under my name? Or should I take this blessing and I have no other debt? And should I start like snowball investing? What's your degree in?

Computer science. Okay. And how much are you making? $70,000 a year. Okay. Good good for you well done well thank you so much um uh your dad is a great guy and i'm really thankful for his um service and how that afforded you the first three years of school for free. And I'm also thankful for his willingness to do the other things. However, he has no money.

Right? I mean, I don't want to go into it. Is that a correct statement? He has no money? No, that's incorrect. He makes nearly a quarter million a year he makes a quarter of a million a year yes his military pension is 80 percent why is he broke which i mean he got a divorce three years ago we moved every two years sometimes he purchased

houses and thought they were good and you still still live with your dad? No, I just graduated college. So there's no we. So there's no we. We used to. Now they. But if he makes $250,000 a year, I would ask him to, if he wants to honor this process, I would ask him to pay it off this year, not over 20 years, because it leaves you vulnerable. Yes, it does.

I mean, I am preparing in the instance that I have to take over it. It doesn't seem like that day will come because— Now, listen, that's not the point. If he's not going to pay it off in 6 to 12 months, which he should do, my God. Boston, something's in your soul about this deal. Why are you even asking this question? Do you not feel right taking the money now? No.

It's not that I wouldn't accept it. I'm just curious that now that it falls under my name, and I know we don't care about credit scores here, but... Yeah, but I care about you having a student loan debt of forty thousand dollars your dad doesn't have any debt and you do you're not asking a math problem you're asking a character for a question yeah i just wish it would be paid off sooner amen so if he's not going to pay it off in six to twelve months after you have this discussion with him tonight, then you should. Okay.

And that will be an uncomfortable. Does that mean I cancel my retirement 10% contribution, my Roth contribution? Okay. Yeah, you're in baby step two, dude. You have $40,000 in debt. Yeah. With your name on it. And it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation, and it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation and it's

going to be a grown-up conversation and you're because your dad's dad you're making 250 000 if you can take care of this within 6 to 12 months fine if you can't i'm going to knock it out okay or i say i should say won't not can't because he can. Yeah. I don't want this hanging over my head. It's in my name. I've become increasingly uncomfortable with that, Dad. And so I get it if something else is going on, but I'm just going to tell you, if you won't knock it out with your $250,000 income in 6 to 12 months,

then I'm going to, because I don't want this over my head. Yeah, that makes sense. That's not disrespectful. It's not mean. You're not wagging a finger at him. You're not throwing guilt trips around. You're not calling up and going, you should really do this because you said you would. You're not doing any of that.

You're just going to go, Dad, you make plenty of money. I know what your income is, and I know you've been through some hard times in the past, but here we are today i am feeling stressed and uncomfortable this weight of forty thousand dollars across the top of my trapezoids and i can feel it on my back and i if you won't get rid of it in six to twelve months i'm going to and if he says no just go do it go do it and don't hold him accountable don't give him the side eye at Christmas. Yeah, just forget it. He had a plan.

You're choosing to accelerate that plan, which I think is the right thing to do, and then go do it. And for future reference, okay, and this will help you with other conversations that will come up another time, because I've had to learn this the hard way, is that good people with good intentions who handle money poorly never have any money and therefore always put themselves in a position to not keep their words and it's weird but i mean like like i know this guy he's a good man and just let him move in your rental house and he'll pay the rent no he won't because he's never paid rent on time in his freaking life you know so why am i gonna all of a sudden reinvent this guy in my mind just because he's a good guy you know and the weird thing is he can actually

be a good guy but suck at handling money right i was that guy i was too i was a good guy but i sucked at it you know and therefore it left me not being a good guy sometimes you know because i couldn't keep my word because i didn't have enough money to keep my word and i know people who make 250 grand a year who run out of money before the month is over every single month double it i mean any put any number up there i can find somebody who spends more than they make i mean they all i just act like they live in congress or something i mean my god so you just spend it like it's water. But, you know, and it's out of control, disorganized, chaotic. And so the point is, the lesson to be learned for you in the future, sir,

and for all of us in the future is if there's a pattern in someone's life and you ignore that and ask them and accept their promise, then that's on you. Right. And when you sign your name to it, assume you're paying it back. Yeah. Assume you're paying it back, and if money comes in the mail, then wonderful, great. And again, that's not to chide you, Boston. You didn't do anything wrong. You're 22 years old.

You're trying to figure this stuff out, man. You're a stud for even calling and putting this stuff forward. So thank you for doing that but the the thing is i quit expecting you know this guy said people change but not much you know that's not true they do transform people do change they can't you have the ability and the power you know i can do all things through christ who strengthens me i can change if i choose to step into it and change right but uh but but but if somebody's got a pattern of doing something and just because you like them you don't want that pattern to be there

it's still there it's not going to just magically go away yeah and i had to learn that because it bit me so many times like this guy's broke he has no money he's disorganized he doesn't pay his bills on time but But he promised me. That's right. And that's what I do. And he just, he's turned it around. Let's give him a shot. He promised me.

Yeah, it doesn't work that way. You have to get yourself, almost like our last debt-free screamer said, you know, we had to get to where we got sick and tired of not being able to control the uncontrollables, the variables. When pandemic knocks on your door and huffs and puffs and wants to blow your house down. Which it will. Yep. When whatever it is, the, what was the other, you know, the child custody battle knocks on the door.

When infertility knocks on your door. When cancer knocks on your door. Car wrecks knock on your door. Layoffs knock on your door. When 2008 knocks on your door, when cancer knocks on your door, car wrecks knock on your door, layoffs knock on your door, when 2008 knocks on your door, when 9-1-1 knocks on your door, when Black Monday 1987 knocks on your door, when September 23, 1988, when I filed bankruptcy, knocks on my door, you know, are you ready? Right. When the big bad wolf huffs and he puffs, are you ready? Be the third pig. Say never again.

Never again. This is your never again year. 2020's not good for much of anything, but it's a great never again year. It's a great line in the sand. It's a great never again year. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, my co-host this hour. James Childs is our producer.

Kelly Daniel is our associate producer and phone screener. I am Dave Ramsey, and we'll be back. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. You can listen to Dave, Rachel Cruz, Chris Hogan, or the rest of the Ramsey Network anywhere with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Catch all of our full shows, browse by topic, or send clips to your friends. Head to the App Store and download the Ramsey Network app today.