The Ramsey Show - App - Dealing With a Crappy Housing Situation… (Hour 1)

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, host of The Rachel Cruz Show, co-host of The Smart Money Happy Hour, and my daughter is your co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Andrew in Atlanta starts this hour. Hi, Andrew. How are you? Hey, Dave and Rachel. I'm doing very well. Good. What's up? So I've got a very complicated situation.

My wife and I are very big fans of yours. We've bought a house with, you know, 20% down, 15-year fixed rate mortgage, no credit score, following the Ramsey plan, everything. And about four weeks ago, we had a septic leak in our yard. And so, you know, it's not a big deal. We're in four, five, or six. We've got the emergency fund, called a company out to come check it out. And as it turns out, it's coming from big deal we're in four or five or six we've got the emergency fund called a company out to come check it out and as it turns out it's coming from our neighbor's yard um and long story short our neighbor is as broke as can possibly be and essentially her both of her parents passed

away in the last year and she doesn't even have the money to get probate through to get the house into her name, much less fix the septic leak. And so originally, if it was just a small thing, our church was going to try to help with it. But it's turned into eight to ten thousand dollars because they have to pump all of the septic up uphill to a new drain field and everything. So it's going to be a whole big thing. Um, and we're just trying to figure out what to do. And after discussing it with other people, I, I feel like our plan is to just suggest to her, Hey, we'll help you pay to get the will through probate. And then you need to sell the house. Um, but the house is, you can't sell it. Can't get a health letter. Would she be able to, I mean, the house is falling apart. Everything.

I mean, she'd probably have to sell it for cash to an investor or something. Yeah, okay. I mean, because they're falling apart. The buyer can't get a mortgage on this if the septic tank's busted. So, because they're going to require a health department letter in any city I'm aware of to do that. She wouldn't be able to get a mortgage even if the septic was fixed no i'm not talking about her getting a mortgage i'm talking about the buyer yeah the buyer would not be able to get a mortgage on this house even with this because it's in such bad shape

it's in very bad shape yeah um wow have you uh do you have any idea what the price to take it through probate is um i don't i would expect it to be i believe that she has a a lawyer she said was going to do it as a favor but it's it's been six months now and he basically said because it's a favor it's got to be back like lowest priority so i'll do it when I get around to it. Are they living in it? Yes, they're living in it. Where are they going to go? Well, if they sell the house, they can take that money and rent something.

If not, then there's also two years of unpaid property taxes, and the young woman is now alone. You're right. It is in her best interest aside from your problem. It's in her best interest to get the house sold because the house needs repairs to be habitable $8,000 to be habitable just in the sewer system, a sewer septic system alone. And, uh, obviously, you know, she's too broke to pay attention, bless her heart, and putting a little money in her pocket and restarting her life in a more whole is best for her. I agree with you. I think that's a good conclusion. Is she up for all of that?

It sounds like you've had good discussions with her. Yeah, no, we're very close. I was able to be with her father when he passed away. And we had a very close relationship with them. She is very emotionally attached to the home and does not want to sell it. But at the same time, she has not worked in 10 years, and she's unwilling to get a job. Well, you can't make her sell it.

No, no, we can't. But the county will. No, they really won't. Put a lien on it if she's back in property taxes. Well, they may sell it. They may sell it for property taxes. There may be a tax sale on it. She may be forced to sell it is what Andrew's saying, yeah. Or codes could condemn it and make her move.

That kind of thing happens too. So, well, I mean, if you pay for it to go through probate and then she does nothing nothing has happened you just wasted the money right yes so i'm not going to pay for it to go through probate unless i have her agreement in writing that she's going to sell the house right yes because otherwise you're just throwing good money after bad, and it's not going to solve the problem. And that's the way we saw paying for the septic stuff. Even if it was a smaller issue, it's just a lot harder. It just enables her to continue to stay in a situation that's not good for her.

Yes. Okay. So with the sale of the home, would they be forced then to fix the septic? The buyer of the home would probably be an investor that's going to renovate the home, including the septic, in order to put it back on the market and do a flip on it. But that's going to take, I mean, that could take, I mean, six months. Oh, it's going to take a while. So do you just have septic running into Andrew's yard?

Do you know what I mean? That's my problem, yeah. Regardless of the root. If she does not sell the house immediately to someone, then either we're paying for it or it's just going to keep coming into our yard. Yeah. Or you're going to create some kind of a bear, a landscaping barrier that direct redirects it back into her yard. Yeah. Um, is it, is it a lot? Like, is it, it's not a lot. It was very bad bad at first i think they're just using less water honestly but it's coming up from underneath the ground so it's not like flowing into our yard it's like bubbling up in a puddle yeah okay that's pretty gross it's terrible yes sir it is

terrible that's the crappiest call i've gotten today oh man bless your heart i don't know i mean i'm gonna start investigating some things i can do to just uh from a landscaping or grading perspective on your land to just redirect it back over onto hers and um um because it doesn't sound like this lady's going to follow through she's um uh she's to wait until this all comes down. She's not going to act. She's going to wait until the whole thing comes down around her head. That's what you're describing to me.

And I would love for her to not lose her entire house. Yeah, but that's not – we can't control that. Unless you have her committed – unless you have her declared mentally ill and the court takes over her life that's the only way you can do that and so and obviously she's not there she's just not you know she's just in denial so i i think you you know i'm going to as her friend i'm going to continue to recommend that she do that and you know if you're willing to put the house on the market because honey i think that's what's good for you i'll help you by paying for it to go

through probate. But I'm not going to do that if you're just going to sit over there and let the thing rot around your head. Yes. Because I love you too much to participate in your delusion. And I really, I don't want that. I want what's good for you. And you can act in her best interest and at the same time end up solving your problem. Yes.

But I don't think, I think, you know, you can offer to do that. And even if she puts it in writing, I still think you're going to have trouble. Because I think this is an emotional person, not a logical. She's not making logical decisions or it would already be on the market. And so, yeah. And so you're going to have to figure out a way to landscape your yard, reset some stuff to create a puddle on her side of the line. You know, I'm sorry. Wow, what a gross mess.

I don't have a good answer for you, but you're pursuing this properly and with the right spirit. You're a kind person. Thank you for that. This is the Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. Well, graduation season is here. Graduating from high school, graduating from college, starting our lives. It's a fun, fun season.

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And Get Clear Assessment helps you figure out the way we're all bent in one direction or another, and that's a good word right there. So you can check that out. The ultimate millennial and Gen Z guide to all things Ramsey is George Campbell's Breaking Free from Broke, full of snark and full of great research. This thing is an amazing book, also a bestseller, number one bestseller, and a great millennial gift, a great Gen Z gift, because written by one for one and all that kind of stuff.

And, of course, we've just launched the 20th anniversary version of the Total Money Makeover. Over 10 million of these sold now. And so any one of those three or all of those three will make a great graduation package angela is in greenville south carolina hi angela welcome to the ramsey show hey dave hey rachel thank you for taking my call sure sure what's up um so i'm having a bit of some marital disagreement i'm hoping you can give me some

clarity or at least how to approach it with my husband. We've been married for eight years. I've been a stay-at-home mom for two and he makes about $250,000 a year and refuses to give me access to the finances pretty much. I'm not on his account. He does give me X amount of money each month to pay the bills. It doesn't even really cover the bill amount, to be honest with you. And I'm always left with zero dollars to my name. So I just wanted to talk to you about this and get some feedback from you. Dang, Angela, why won't he put you on the account? What does he say? To be honest with you, I think it's maybe fear of giving that control up. When we got married, he was very established. He's 12 years older than I am.

He's always been on his own. So I think he's having a really hard time relinquishing that. Eight years later? I know. I know. Yeah, because that's where the difficulty comes in. Yeah, I mean, it would be. I mean, to a degree, Angela, I'm like, I mean, it's a level of this, the splitting of finances to the point that you don't have access.

I mean, that borders line financial abuse, that you don't have the ability I mean, that borders line financial abuse, that you don't have the ability to access money that is coming into your household, regardless of who makes it or not. The idea that he's withholding that, that's a big red flag to me. Are there other areas of your marriage that you feel this control,

or is it mostly to the money? Honestly, it's just the money. Everything else feels great. And of course, I can ask him for $20 or $50, but he won't. You're not his daughter. Exactly. Exactly. This is bothering you because it's wrong.

Yes. And so let me just confirm for you this is wrong. Okay. and so let me just confirm for you this is wrong and it's what you're describing to me is um it sounds to me like it's a whole lot more toxic and bad than you actually think it is you've kind of you've kind of normalized this and you're trying to just kind of well it's not but it's just like i can't get him no i mean this is like weird okay this is strange it's it's at that level and so and it's wrong uh relationally it's a it's a disaster um so i i don't know i can't judge, you know, not talking to him. I can, but I might be wrong.

What is the root of this for him? But I really honestly don't care either. If you were my little sister or my daughter and you told me this was going on, this is not a financial problem. You have a very serious marriage problem. Okay. You have an older guy that is you married a man older than you that thinks he's your dad or he thinks he does not have any he does not have to

uh involve you so i mean you're just to do what you're told okay and i just boy it just sounds really icky so i think you guys i think you guys need to sit down with a marriage counselor desperately okay um i have i have tried that route and he wouldn't go i still no kidding a little bit of course he wouldn't go you need to go yeah and the marriage counselor needs to explain to you how icky this is and how you can start having conversations that he either comes to the table or you're leaving because this is not healthy honey this is ugly and i'm not telling you to leave but i am telling you to get some people in your life to walk alongside you so you don't continue to tolerate this eight years is too long okay perfect yeah you you've you put up with it so long it starts to kind of feel normal to you and rachel and i both like we we about

flipped out when you told us this right so we're trying to we're trying to temper and be nice yeah because i mean you know there's degrees of all of us, Angela. We get this call a lot of how do I get my spouse on board? And there's everything from how do I get him on board with the intensity of which we're doing baby step two, but we're doing baby step two, but I want to do more than he does. Or how do I get it where we. This is control. That's what I'm saying is that the checking account, like we have separate checking accounts. I don't know if we want to do one, you know, whatever, whatever. This is like, this is on the extreme scale of it,

that you don't have access to your money to run your household. And your husband is holding the keys. And so there's probably a level to Angela that, and I think Dave's right. I think going to, if he won't go to marriage counseling with you, then you need to find a counselor or a therapist and start walking through because there's a level of strength, Angela, that you may have been giving up over the last eight years due to codependency,

due to really being kind of warped into what is normal. And this is just your normalcy. And so to have this level of, and it's scary because you're gonna start to learn some new tools and new realizations of what's really going on. And it's gonna give you the strength though to speak up. And I pray, pray that with that and through that, he comes to the table and starts to speak up and I pray pray that with that and

through that he comes to the table and starts to do work and understands all of that right and you guys can move I hope he loves you more than he loves control but I'm not sure right now okay yeah it feels that way do you guys have do you guys have kids Angela you've been home for two years you have three okay okay wow uh what did you do when you met when you you said I've been home for two years what were you three. Okay. Okay. Wow. Uh, what did you do when you met, when you, you said I've been home for two years, what were you doing before that when you were working and making an income, where was that money going? Um, well, I worked for a municipality and, um, you know, we, I tried to get him to combine finances then when I was bringing in money, but he wasn't interested. So, you know,

I just kept it, kept it to myself, you know, in my account. But since we've been married, I had tried to get him to combine finances. We did go to FPU together. That was one of my things I wanted us to do upfront. I think it helped for about a year, but he never wanted to actually make that step and combine our account down to our account. Well, and more than that, he's still doling out money to you. Yeah, I'm going to allow him. And I have to ask him for $20. It sounds like you're 16 years old and you're asking your dad for money.

Yes. That's the way that sentence structure came out and that's what that's um you know how i gotta tell you man somebody that a guy that can go through financial peace university and see that whole scope of information viewing it from an emotional spiritual mathematical process and then go back to doing what he's doing there's something going on here there's something going on okay i'm so sorry angela yeah this is really i know bad i'm sorry darling yeah i don't want to be some doomsayer and i want to add drama but i want to add enough drama that you do something about it yeah don't stay in this situation um do something to cause the situation to change

like see a therapist and let them walk you through some, you know, some structures of what you can do to get some help in this relationship. Oh my gosh. This is The Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, and my daughter is my co-host. Today's question comes from Lindsay in Illinois. She says, my husband and I are in our late 30s, and we have two teenage daughters. He wants to quit his job and open a restaurant, which has been his lifelong dream. He has done no research and has not created a business plan. His ideas for us to sell are fully paid for home oh no of about half a million dollars and live in an

apartment oh no so he can purchase a restaurant oh no oh geez I don't even know if I can get through this in the meantime he wants me to keep my job so we'll have one steady income of $85,000 a year I could see putting all of our money into this venture and end up losing everything. How do I convince him it's a bad idea? Oh, no, Lindsay. Yeah. Well, kind of like our last caller, to a degree, you have a vote, too. This is your life as well. And you're on the deed of that house, so don't sign it. Good point.

There you go. Period. Yep. And again, it's not because you're okay so here's the thing no no no it's a his process his process is completely ignorant it's absolutely ludicrous to open a business this way she's exactly right number one you need a business plan number two you would need some experience in the freaking restaurant business which is hard before you do that number three you need to understand that you're taking on the category of small business that has the highest rate of failure of all small businesses the number

one way to go broke is open a restaurant it's it's like freaking guaranteed okay just ask greg lobster they just filed bankruptcy okay i mean too too many shrimp. That's a big chain, though. But yeah, you're this individual. No, but I'm just saying. It's a different thing. But the restaurant business is just hard. Yes, it is. It's hard.

It's a tough business. The average employee turnover ratio in a restaurant is 300% a year. You lose all your people three times a year. That's a lot of hiring. That's a lot of hiring. That's a lot of drama. That's a lot of stuff to put up with. And no, no, no, and no. Now, is there a way for him to live his dream

without it destroying his own family and himself in the process? Yeah, sure there is. Sure there is. You do a business plan. You go to work in a restaurant. Yeah, sure there is. Sure there is. You do a business plan. You go to work in a restaurant. You learn the restaurant business. You work in leadership in a restaurant, management in a restaurant. You understand purchasing in a restaurant.

Then you redo your business plan because now you're going to be smarter. And then you start a catering business on the side, and you grow your catering business so big that you buy a food truck and then when the food truck makes you so stinking much money from catering and food trucking that you pay cash for all this without selling your home and without quitting your job you did it all on the side and you just work your tail end off and three four years from now you'll have the money to open your first bricks and mortar little restaurant with cash and then you'll actually know what you're doing but i gotta tell you man we coach we coach small businesses i got 10 000 small businesses that we coach through entree leadership i do a podcast

called entree leadership.com or called entree leadership podcast rather it's at entree leadership.com it's one of the top rated podcasts on leadership and business and if you if he called me up on the air and asked me about this um i wouldn't be as nice to him as you have been lindsey but for his own sake well you would say what you just said there's a way to get there if it's your dream job but just to do everything like right now i mean i was thinking even our cafe downstairs here at ramsey solutions where our team members eat right there's all these stations and like and it's a mini restaurant I mean there's all of it it's a major restaurant yes but I'm just saying like thousand people a day yes so even even that type of thing I'm like I know the amount of work and the amount of research and the amount of companies you hire and the food I mean like it was a whole feat just for that one portion of

just this and it's not even like this is what's maintaining our life you know what i mean your livelihood i got a better i got a better idea lindsey sell your house and pile five hundred thousand dollars in the middle of the interstate and burn it because that's about what you're getting ready to do it's the same net result at least then you'll have some entertainment watching the traffic swerve around the fire and not as much work you know yeah and it'll save you a lot of heart no this is this is you're right lindsey now how do you convince him i don't know well you take it slow and it's what you're saying there is a way to do this that is wise and his his net goal is not unwise his process is completely ludicrous. His way to get there is completely ludicrous.

So, Rachel, one of the things that the reason I get so passionate about this kind of stuff is I actually did this to your mother. Opened a restaurant? No, before you were born. So I started buying and selling real estate when we first got married. I was 22 years old, and i was a freaking genius and nobody could tell me anything and my wife said oh i don't know if this is going to work or not it doesn't matter i got it figured out i got the finance degree you got a home ec degree shut up i'm doing this and i just went and did it and i started by we have owned a lot of real estate my wife has seen and you know what happened i went broke

i lost everything we were out to dinner the other night going in downtown nashville and i thought hey i'm gonna turn up the street see that house right there i did the renovation on that house she goes we owned that house and i said yeah i guess I guess I owned it but you didn't because since you didn't know about it but yeah I mean I wasn't hiding anything from her I was just too freaking arrogant to take her input and um because I was the smartest and you put all the cards on the table smartest call all the poker chips on one hand I bet everything on one horse yeah and uh and I was too I was the guy that was so freaking smart and i had all this figured out and don't you question me and uh and then she pulled it she just like

whatever you want to do honey um which is southern for you're an idiot and so um and you're not listening to me yeah you're not listening to me anyway so whatever you want to do, honey. So when I went broke, I learned not only did I go broke, I got broken. And I got to trade out some of my arrogance for some humility. And I started reading biblical principles, what the Bible says on how to build wealth and how to handle money. And I got to Proverbs 31, because there's 31 Proverbs. And if you read one a day, you'll get really wise uh and then you can read them all the next month again and eventually you'll start to understand them uh but i got to proverbs 31 who can find

and this is for our last caller too who can find a virtuous wife For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. Now here comes the punchline. And he will have no lack of gain. Hmm. So husbands, assuming you're not married to a spoiled brat princess, assuming your spouse is not confused and thinks she's the Holy Spirit, assuming your wife is virtuous, if you listen to her and consider her input in your dealings,

you will have no lack of gain. You know why I'm sitting in a building worth $600 million that I paid cash for? Because I drove up on this land in my four-wheel drive pickup when it was out here and it was a bunch of cows running around on it and my wife said this is where we need to have a campus for ramsey and i went ding ding ding ding ding i agree it's why i brought you down here and she's like yes yes we need to do this and guess what we did it so and guess what some of the best things you know in the past some of the stupidest business deals I've ever done I didn't do because my wife had a bad feeling and I walk away from them if she has a bad feeling because I don't want a lack of gain I don't ever want to go back to being the idiot that I was in my 20s and not everybody in their 20s is an idiot, but I was an idiot.

I completely ran roughshod over this principle. Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her. And when I started trusting her, boys and girls, I've had no lack of gain. Now, sometimes she's wrong, but I still trust her. And I've had no lack of gain.

And you guys out there who are not listening to A Virtuous Wife, you're having a lack of gain because you're being stupid. Stop it. Amen, Brother Dave. Amen. This is The Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Elizabeth is in San Diego. Hi, Elizabeth. How are you? Hi, Dave. Hi, Rachel. It's an honor to speak with you, too. You, too. What's up? My family of four and my in-laws are in the beginning planning phase of moving out of state to buy land and put a few homes on it for us.

I'm looking for information on the legal structure of a multi-generational property homestead. How many families will be living on it? Those are my in-laws. And then us, we are for, my kids are also special needs, and I don't know what their independence is going to look like as they're adults, so we might put a few homes on there for them too. Okay, but the homes that will be built will just be yours and the in-laws for right now? Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Very difficult. It's very difficult to, because the problem is that this only works if it works. When something doesn't work here, it becomes, you fall prey to the same thing. A small business general partnership falls prey to, and we tell folks not to go into small business

partnerships because the only ship that won't sail is a partnership so and here's why it only works if it works and it never works exactly the way you think it's going to that's the way life is right so and in business i'll just kind outline there, and it doesn't apply here to you guys completely, but here's what I go to there, because you have to kind of anticipate, you have to do the same exercise I'm getting ready to show you. I teach business people, okay? Like two guys wanting to open up a small business together. This is what I teach them. Number one, I tell them don't do it, because it's very difficult.

Number two, if you're going to do it, you have to have a detailed general partnership agreement. Now you wouldn't necessarily do that, but the general partnership agreement would address the things you've got to address all the possible negative things that show up in life. Okay. And a lot, we call them the D's because a lot of them are D's death, disability, disinterest. because a lot of them are Ds. Death.

Disability. Disinterest. I don't like living in the boonies anymore. I'm going back to the city. Ba-dum-ba-bum-bum. Bum-bum. Right? Drugs.

Drugs. Drugs. Drug use. That was the D word I thought of. That's probably not you, right? But I'm guessing there's no cocaine problem in this situation. But I'm amazed at the people that do manage to snort their life away. So it always is shocking to me who it is because I was like, you're kidding you? And divorce.

Disinterest default. I don't do my part so i had dinner uh 20 years ago the first time i ever experienced this it was a uh a uh a family at dinner and they sat at dinner it was really embarrassing we were in cancun at a leadership thing i was doing and um they yelled at each other these grown people and it was three brothers and sisters and their spouses and they called each other names and they didn't like each other and they were the third generation of a homestead of thousands of tens of thousands of acres in new mexico and um they the reason they didn't like each other is they thought the other one had screwed the other one and the other one didn't do their part and the other one didn't pay the bills. So the other two had to pay the bills because the first one didn't pay the

bills. Otherwise, they'd lose the land. And it just was nasty. And it was the unintended consequence of a of a homesteader a real home i mean a an original homesteader i got these are real homestead you're talking about but i'm talking about the original homesteaders that went and got thousands and tens of thousands of acres put together um and so it was it was a bizarre uh thing so that's what you've got to try to ward off. The only way you can keep that kind of thing from happening is to anticipate that it might

and set in place structures and processes to keep it from happening. Does that make sense? Absolutely, yeah. I'm getting this information now because I wanted to have a meeting with them. Yeah. So incredible amounts of communication, but also what is our strategy if someone dies any look around the table any one of us dies okay and so like this is your husband's family yes sir okay so your husband dies now you're the daughter-in-law right where

does this leave you and you meet somebody later on in life do they want to move you're the daughter-in-law. Right. Where does this leave you? And you meet somebody later on in life. Do they want to move next to the in-laws of the first? You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like you. This is how it happens, right? But is there a clean way to do it?

Yeah. Let's say the in-laws purchase the lands. They sparse off. Well, I actually would just buy the piece of land, and then I would subdivide it. Yeah, I was going to say subdivide it. You guys build. I would replant. If you want to buy going to say subdivide it. You guys build. If you want to buy 100 acres and get 50 on each side and run a lot line down the middle of it and have two parcels, you own one parcel, they own the other parcel. We're connected.

We're right there. We're having the same life experience we're trying to have. But in the event of a problem, you can sell yours. That was actually an option that I was thinking about, so I'm glad you brought that up. I really would try to get you to go that direction. It's not as sweet and communal as the whole idea of, oh, we're going to have a family compound. But it's just very difficult to pull this off, and it's going to require an amazing amount of,

y'all are going to burn a lot of calories heading off problems. And I would say this, if it works, and you guys do have a great relationship, and you want to do this, and it's a really great, you know what I mean, and you're all on good terms, you want to live that close to them, I mean, all of it, it could be a really cool thing, right? Like, if it works, it is.

But have a plan when the season when the season ends when the when it when it's done yeah have a plan for how we're going to do this and everybody's not pissed yep yeah because that's the problem because it will change life will change and and nothing works out exactly like you think it's going to ever sometimes it's better than you think it's going to sometimes it's worse but it never is exactly like you think it's going to well and being tied down what always kind of gives me a little bit of claustrophobicness emotionally is when you feel like you don't have options in life and you're tied down and especially to your home and you have a family right she has special needs children i'm like there's a lot on your plate there's a lot going on and when you feel obligated if there's

a sense of obligation five years down the road that we don't have the option to move because that's our in-laws right here and they'd be pissed if someone else lived in this house because we had this whole deal so now we're stuck like that stuck feeling is what you don't want you want lots of freedom and choices if or when something changes honestly we got 250 acres just over the hill over here that's beautiful and we easily could do this but there's not a chance the Ramseys will do it I was like I don't know if I'm gonna live in a bar so next time I'm just telling you there's no chance we love y'all I know but you you need your distance it's just good we sit we sit two feet from each other once a week for three hours if you want to tear up the backyard and put in a pool I'm gonna judge

you at a larger distance I know they're not pool people they're like you're putting in a pool i was like okay majority of people this is a goal for them pools are great yeah it's great it's wonderful have fun and so yeah but it's you know that that's the thing so it's what i would hear some fun just a pool regular pool he's like this is how we live at our place so it's not gonna it's not gonna work if we're all in one pile it's just not gonna work so um but you guys you guys are sweet people y'all probably might be able to yeah they might elizabeth's family might be able to do this yeah i mean the rams the rams we would be there was a family and i can't remember their names but they lived off of sorry this is probably just family chat right now down um was it like wilson there was

a road in nashville that would go out to the lake and they lived and you would like turn right and they had like a big sign and i think like the grandfather lived there um the older son do you remember i'm talking about i have no idea and we went they i think they were old church people friends and we went and there was well i mean literally this i think there were three homes the grandfather lived in one home and you kind of kept driving and there was the son do you know It's not an evil thing. It just has – No. Everyone enters this with rose-colored glasses, and I always just want to crunch the glasses under my heel.

But there is a beauty in – And let you know what you're walking into, and if you walk into it with your eyes open, you've got a chance of it working. That's the whole thing. And you can come out, and everybody will still be happy and friends and all that. Yeah, because the intergenerational – you think about farming. You think about how people live life a hundred years ago that's what it was but they also were grandparents they were obligated and they were stuck yeah that's fair they felt obligated to tradition i can't get rid of this land it's been in the family

four generations i don't really have any options i actually want to go live in the city and be an engineer but i guess i'm a farmer. So, you know, I'm stuck. That's what it is. If you want to be a farmer, that's okay. But if you're stuck, it's not okay. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. you