The Ramsey Show - App - Dealing With Financial Child Abuse (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Starting off this hour is going to be Alan in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Hi, Alan. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm doing good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay. So I'm a What's up? Okay. So I'm a senior in college right now. We'll be graduating in a couple months. And I guess just since I've started watching your show a lot, I've been looking into budgeting and looking at my finances and stuff and how I'm going to pay off the student loans that I've taken out.

Well, I've been in college. And while doing that, I found out that my mom has been in charge of all my finances, and I found out that she's been taking a lot of the money that we've been taking out for loans for her own expenses and not stuff that's been related to me at all. So I guess I just want to know if you had any advice for me, how I can kind of go about this, figuring out how I can pay this back and also how I can deal with the situation and not totally ruin my relationship with my mother. Wow. So how much of your money has she stolen?

I estimate about $10,000 to $12,000. Okay. And how much is your total student loan debt 25 okay and so if you the way you grew up in this dysfunctional household if you were to sit down with her and say hey why'd you steal twelve thousand dollars of my money what would she say right my mom My mom has been really good overall. It's just it's been really weird lately. Except for the part where she stole $12,000 from you, but okay. Right, yeah, yeah. When I do try to talk to her, you know, she gets emotional.

No, she's really been struggling with money lately, and I understand that. But just the thing is she hasn't, you know the thing is we haven't had this conversation that she's using money through my student loans or anything like that. So that's where the major issue is. Okay. Have you taken all of your financial control away from her? I have not yet, no. Okay. Well, that's the first thing you have to do is stop the bleeding.

You need to shut down any account that has her name on it or has access to her in any way, and you need to open your own accounts, sir, and be a full-on grown-up and handle your own money at this point. You don't have a choice. And so, yeah, you you got to limit her access to your stuff because she's not trustworthy i'm so sorry this is so heartbreaking for you and it puts you in such a extremely emotional position when somebody violates your boundaries like this

this is financial child abuse is what it is okay um It happens more often than it should. I run into scumballs who open credit cards in their kids' names and trash their kids' credit, steal their own children's identity, in other words, because they somehow feel entitled to steal someone else's money. And you've got to get pretty twisted in the brain to be able to do that. I mean, it's as if you had a shoebox of $25,000 sitting on your bed with your name on it, and it was your money, and she reached in there and took half of it. But she doesn't see it that way.

Somehow in her brain, she's figured out that this is okay. It ain't okay. So, you know, the only thing, I mean, the extreme, one extreme is to press criminal charges. The other extreme is just forget it and pay it. Yeah. In between would be her promising to repay, but she's out of control. That's a promise that won't be kept. So you probably are left with two pretty extreme options,

and one is to just say, I got $25,000 in student loan debt, and I'm coming out of college, I'm a senior, and I'm going to go pay it off. Or you can look at prosecuting her. The problem with prosecuting someone criminally is the money's already gone, and it doesn't make them have the money to give you money back. The money's just gone. It's already gone, and it doesn't make them have the money to give you money back. The money's just gone. It's just gone.

And you're going to have a real hard time legally getting the student loans removed from your name due to theft. That's a very difficult legal set of hoops. It probably costs you more than $12,000 to do it yeah in legal fees so i i'm thinking you're eating this but um except to the extent that you can get something out of it for her uh out of her so i i don't know man i'm sorry i just might like my brain can't wrap around somebody doing this to their own freaking kid but i so i'm trying to help you here and not not just her. She has admitted that she's done wrong and she owes me money. It's just like I'll ask for it or I'll want to talk about it, and she says she doesn't have money, doesn't know what to do. Okay.

So what I'm going to do is I'm going to sit down with her really calmly but very clearly and say, number one, if you ever use my name in any way to put money in your pocket again, I will criminally prosecute you. You need to tell her that. Because she needs to stop. Because she'll steal your ID, too, and open up credit cards. Yeah.

I mean, because she's desperate and she's a little crazy. I mean, people don't steal from their own kids who aren't crazy, man. I mean, really. Think about it. So, you know, she's probably got good attributes, all of that. I know I'm talking about your mother, but, I mean, you need to look at this realistically. So the first part of the conversation is never again, Mom. The second part of the conversation is I'm going to forgive this.

I'm going to pay the debt. I'm going to forget about it. You pay me back if you can. But the only way I'm going to do that is you get control of your life, and you're going through Financial Peace University. And I will pay for it, and I will give it to you so you can give it to her. Because she needs to learn how to handle money so she doesn't keep stealing. Yeah.

Because I don't know where her theft is going to end if we don't. It's because she's going to end up in jail. Right. Because if you do this with a bank, they prosecute you. If you do this with check kiting, they prosecute you. This is not a game. I mean, this is not a family affair. This is criminal activity.

So for her sake, we've got to get her under control because she's completely spiraling here, if you can. And then I think realistically you're probably saying, Mom, you pay me back all this money. And just leave it on her to do that. But then you have a low emotional expectation that that's going to occur because practically thinking, I don't think you're ever going to see it does that make sense yeah yeah so what is your degree field that you're studying marketing good for you okay yeah and you graduate i have a job set up i have a job set up for when i graduate i'm going to start working right away making making pretty good money so making what making how much a thousand how much 48,000 48,000. How much? $48,000. $48,000, good.

Do you have any other debt other than this $25,000? No, that's it. Okay. You're a sharp young man, and you have a story to tell your grandkids about how we don't behave in this family any longer. Because you're going to be able to clean this up. And I'll tell you what, I'm going to put both of you into Financial Peace University, you and mom, if she'll promise to go and promise to repay you, but have a low expectation of the second part occurring. Hold on. Kelly's going to pick up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Pure Talk USA offers smarter wireless with unlimited plans starting as low as $20 per month. You never pay data overage fees, and we never turn off your data.

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Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Bryce. What's up? Hey. I don't know much about your program. I just started listening to you. But I just graduated PA school. I have about $138,000 in student loans and principal and then $13,000 in accrued interest over the last two years. Grace period ends this month.

There's $151,000 total, 6.6% average of interest over those loans. Basically what I'm wondering, are companies are offering some refinancing for student loans specifically and have some offers anywhere from five to ten years fixed and variable rates from 3.9 to 4.7? I'm wondering if refinancing is a smart move with student loans. Okay, good question. Congratulations on a great career field.

PA is a wonderful, wonderful field for you. And so you should be making some bank. What's your income? So base salary starting is $106, and I'll be making anywhere from probably $150 to $180. Good for you. Well done. So are you 27? I'm actually 32. 180. Good for you. Well done. So were you 27? I'm actually 32.

32. Okay, cool. Good for you. Well, dude, here's the thing. You have worked your butt off academically to complete this field of study, and now you've stepped into the money. Yep. And you earned it.

Congratulations. Well done. I have worked with docs for years and years and years and years, and we developed a saying we call doc-itis. It's a disease docs get. And the disease is this. You work your butt off for so long to finally make some money and pile up a bunch of debt doing

it in a lot of cases uh like you have and then when you finally get out of school and start making some money instead of addressing the debt they tend to go buy bmws and big houses yeah to act like they're a doctor now i finally got out it's kind of like it's kind of like you've been holding your breath all this time, and then there's an exhale. Oh, I feel that. And so what I want to warn you against is those symptoms, because that's a disease that will hurt your finances. You have the emotional ability to delay pleasure to win. That's how you got here. Correct.

And so I want to tap into that and use that again, because you're a new listener, as you said. And one of the things we've learned about money is if you will live like no one else later, you can live and give like no one else. And so what I'm going to encourage you to do as a part of the answer to your question is live on beans and rice, rice and beans, and pay this stupid loans off in like two years. Okay. Like radical, scorched earth, live like a college student, pay them off. Keep living like I was. Really, really, really fast.

Because think about it, $180,000 income with zero debt. Dude, you know what that math looks like. You're going to be seriously wealthy. But $180,000 income and I'm dragging this boat anchor of $152,000 behind me forever just because all your friends in the medical business are going to keep their debts around like it's a dadgum pet? It's not a pet. Cut it loose. Amputate it fast so now having said that that changes the formula on the math because we're

not going to endure the interest rate whatever it is for very long this is not a 20-year program anymore now it's a two to a three-year program so does it help to have a lower interest rate well yes it does i mean if you could get a five%, 4.7 instead of 6, fixed, lock it in. I would not allow a variable rate because rates are trending up right now, and I don't want that to vary up higher than you started with. That would kind of defeat the purpose. But if you can lock in 4.7 instead of 6.7, you know, that's a 2% savings. 2% on $150,000 to $3,000 a year.

Now, $3,000 is a lot of money. You can hand it to me. I'll take it. I can promise. Okay? But $3,000 doesn't solve a $152,000 problem. Correct. It's 97% of the problem still sitting there.

So you can't refinance or consolidate your way out of debt. You have to get really pissed off and do beans and rice, rice and beans to get your way out of debt. But $3,000 will help us along the way. Okay. The first year, it's $3,000. The second year, half that debt's gone, so it's only $1,500. So out of your $152,000 problem, you and i are having a four or five thousand dollar discussion okay point being it helps but it doesn't solve the problem the problem is you going i'm going all college student here

i'm going to live like i make my my doctor friends are going to make fun of me my nurse friends are going to make fun of me so many people that thought I was going to make all this money, they don't understand I'm making all this money, and I'm paying off my stinking debts, and you don't care what other people think. This is what gets you out of debt. Absolutely. Okay.

If you got that dialed in, yeah, refinance them. Do consolidation. But the danger with consolidation is people think that that's going to get them out, and it doesn't get them out. You're just shuffling the pea around. It's still under the shell. And it saves you $4,000 or $5,000 in this discussion, and that's a lot of money, but it's not a $5,000 problem.

It's a $150,000 problem. Kenton is with us in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Kenton. How are you? I'm good. How about you? I'm good. How about you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

I had a quick question. I'm a junior in college, and I got access to Inheritance when I started college. I set enough off to cover college, and I still have a large portion. I didn't know how much I should leave in cash for after college and how much I should invest now. So how much money is remaining? Well, I've already invested about $15,000, and there's about $80,000 left. Okay, good.

And how much does it take you to finish school? Do you need some of that $80,000 left. Okay, good. And how much does it take you to finish school? Do you need some of that $80,000 to finish school? No, I already have the amount to fill. Oh, so the $80,000 is in addition to what you need to finish school? Yeah. Okay, cool. All right. And what's your field of study?

Accounting and finance. Good for you. Good field. Okay. Very usable degree. So you come out and you start making $60,000 or $80,000 and you're in Columbus,

Ohio. The thing is this. The thing you'll need cash for after graduating as a senior is this. There's a high rate of change in a graduating college senior's life for the

following 24 months. You graduate from college, in the next 24 months, you're going to have the highest rate of change maybe you ever experienced in your life. A large percentage of people move, get married, or at least set up housekeeping and start a new job, which we

know you're going to do that one, right? But if you move cities, that's expensive. You get married, obviously, that can be expensive. And I'm not saying that it doesn't have to happen. You can get married whenever you want to. I'm just saying statistically there's a lot of crap that happens 24 months. Within the first 24 months of graduating from college, it costs money. So we need to set aside some cash for all of that and it not be invested so i'm probably

setting aside 30 grand for that and i'm going to invest the other 50 out of the 80 all right and invest it in such a way that you can get it out if you want to buy a house later with that remaining money uh because you're going to have about you're going to you know 65 000 bucks growing towards 100 for your first house at some point and there's no requirement you buy a home straight out of college. You can go settle in wherever you are, rent, you know, see what your life looks like and that kind of thing before you buy a home. There's no, don't get in a breakneck hurry. Oh, God, I've got to buy real estate. Oh, God, I want you to buy a house someday, after school, but there's no emergency.

Nothing's on fire. You're not a horrible person if you rent for six months and figure out where you're landing and how you're landing and all that kind of stuff. As a matter of fact, that's actually preferable. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We teach you to live on less than you make. A concept Congress can't grasp. Real people on a real show.

Not theory, not talking heads. We don't set up any of these calls or tell any of these people what to say. This is the most real talk radio in America today. It's called The Dave Ramsey Show. One question I get asked all the time is, do I need life insurance? Listen, the whole point of life insurance is to replace your income for someone who counts on you. So if you have a spouse or you have kids, yes, you need term life insurance. It's the only way to protect them until you're out of debt and have built up your wealth. You're only digging a deeper hole if you waste money on cash value plans since it robs you of the ability to make real

progress. And that's why I send you to Zander Insurance, and I have for 20 years. That's where I get all my insurance, and they only offer the plans I recommend. It is not expensive. It's not complicated. And Zander will be there as your guide every step of the way. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. You need to get this taken care of. I can give you the advice and I can tell you where to go, but it's really up to you to take that important step to get your family protected. That's zander.com or 800-356-4282. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Daniel and Rosalie are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Hey, Dave, how are you? Thank you so much for having us. Absolutely. We're glad to have you. Where are you guys from? Where do you live? We're from Westchester County, New York. Okay, cool.

Welcome to Nashville. And all the way down here to do a debt-free scream. Yes, sir. I love it. How much have you guys paid off? $383,781.24. Goodness! How long did this take?

30 months, sir. 30 months? What is your household income? We started at around a little over $220, and then we ended up around $360. Whoa! What an income. What do you all do for a living? I'm an OBGYN. Oh, there we go. Okay. And I'm a chef.

There we go. Good. Okay. Good. Wow! Big numbers here. Big numbers. So I'm guessing med school debt. What else? Yes. That was it. It was both of our... Your debt. Chef debt, doc debt. Oh, yes. Okay, cool. Where'd you train to be a chef?

I went to the Culinary Institute of America. Oh, CLI. In Napa? Hyde Park, New York. Hyde Park. Okay, cool. All right, good. Fun.

Good for you guys. Wow. Two booming careers. Good stuff. But debt out your ears. Oh, my goodness, yes. So how long have you two been married? We have been married.

It's going to be four years this September. That's right. Okay, so you've been married four years, but a couple of years into marriage, you look up and this mountain is standing in front of you, and something happened, and you get an attack mode here. What happened? Well, actually, it started about five years ago. I was finishing up residency, and I knew that my income was going to increase,

and I had done the stupid and put my student loans in forbearance, and it was just accruing interest and I wasn't making any payments. And I sat and spoke with my father-in-law, and I said, I'm very nervous. I don't know. I'm kind of really nervous. I don't know how to handle money. He said, read this book. And then we read it and I was like, oh, I'm not ready for that just quite yet. We have to plan a wedding. Before I go on a diet, I want to eat some chocolate cake. We got married and for our first Christmas as a married couple,

they bought us Financial Peace University. Oh, he's persistent. Yes, yes. So we are so happy that they're here to celebrate with us because we owe it all just to them. Very cool. So then you end up early in your marriage then, in the first year or so of your marriage,

going through Financial Peace University, and then you go, I think I can do this now. Ready to go. We got a mess, but we got a big hole, but we got a big shovel. Yes. That's right. And that was it. We didn't upgrade.

We live in a very small two-bedroom apartment. We drive. I think my car is now 15 years old or something like that. Look at you, a weird doctor. I love it. I got stopped at least the first year I was working like three or four times. Like, you cannot park in this doctor's lot. Like, no, no, I work here.

I am a doctor. Shut up. I'm not a broke doctor, though. Look at you, man. Way to go, you guys. That's funny. Yeah, you couldn't get in the doctor's lot. Yeah.

What were you driving? I got to know that. Oh, I have an 044 to escape there you go that's perfect yeah you can't get in the doctor's lot without yeah so you sit down together going through financial peace university even with all of that that mountain almost four hundred thousand dollars that had to be a little overwhelming it was it was it was very you know i had spent a lot of uh residency just with my head in the sand and and when i came out i looked and i was like oh my gosh that's in four years i had accrued almost 60 000 in interest yeah and i that's kind of was when i need we need to do

something i need to do something and and we just went all in and it was great so you sat down did the budget and said okay, it's game on. Yes. That's exactly what happened. As soon as we realized that we needed to get on board with the plan, the budget just became our path. And when we had hard times and good times and bad, it was always we were fortuitously working towards something,

and we knew that at the end of the day, the sacrifice, the delay and gratification would all make it worthwhile in the end. Well, I mean, a good chef knows how to follow a recipe. That's right. So there we go, you know. I mean, you've got the recipe right in front of you. You're either going to make chocolate cake or you're not. I mean, you know, let's just follow the recipe. So it's a system and a process, and both of you learn systems and processes,

and certainly Rosalie knows how to delay pleasure because she's in school half her dadgum life to get out. And so you can delay pleasure and follow a process. You can get through this, right? That was the hardest part, though, being able to say, okay, we're not going to buy a house. We're not going to get a new car. We have to focus on this and focus on this. And it was very difficult because a bunch of our families and friends are buying houses, and all my friends are going with their doctor lives. And I was like, no, we got this big mess.

We got this big mess. We got to take care of it. They got doctor cars. They got doctor debt. And they got doctor houses. But they can park in the lot. Yes. Yes.

But what was really helpful is halfway through it was almost exactly halfway through um rachel cruz's book came out and i was like i need to listen to that and it was just kind of midway through is kind of like reinvigorating and just helped focus me again love your life not there oh yeah absolutely and i kind of like listened to listen to it in the car and i was like yes okay it was it was a very good way to help motivate me. Neat. Very neat. Very cool.

So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You pay off $384,000 in 30 months. It was all just due to the budget. We stuck to the budget. We stayed within our means. We didn't get caught up in anything. And, you know, we didn't really have any fights about it just because, like I mentioned,

it's just we were working continuously towards paying off all of our debt and achieving that goal. It was worth every moment of it. This was Herculean lifting. I mean, now you have no payments. You make $360,000 a year. How does that feel?

It feels, you know, it's kind of, this is our vacation celebration. So it's like, oh, we can buy stuff. We can go out to eat. Yeah, yeah. I want a pair of boots. I think you need a car. Yeah, yeah. I think you need to go home you need a car. Yeah, yeah. I think you need to go home and buy a car.

Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. That's on the list. It's on the list. So what's the big celebration thing other than coming to Nashville? Seriously, what's the big way you're going to say something big you've been holding off, holding off, and holding off? Is it a car? Is it a house?

What is it? We're in Baby Step 3B and saving up for a down-for-house, yes. Okay, good. Good for you. That's a good way to celebrate. I've been hearing purse for the past two years. Purse? There's a purse somewhere out there.

Somewhere there's a really, really nice purse. That's it. We're talking a purse that really is better than the car. Yes. Okay. Or a car. I hear you. Or a car or both, yeah.

Way to go, you guys. You live like nobody else. Now you can live like no one else. I'm sure Mom and Dad are just so proud. I hear you. Or a car or both. Way to go, you guys. You live like nobody else. Now you can live like no one else. I'm sure Mom and Dad are just so proud. They're unbelievable. Yeah, their buttons are bursting over there. We're seeing them. Good.

Good for you guys. Well done. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's retire-inspired book. We'll add that to your collection with Rachel's book and the others as well. And that's the next chapter in your story to be millionaires. You'll be there in about 20 minutes. And, man, oh, man, and outrageously generous along the way enjoy your money give your money invest your money keep doing those three things you're i'm really proud of you way to go i know your mom and dad are proud of you but we're we're looking at you going wow you are a

neat couple i mean a lot of money involved here but you're a neat couple this is very cool well done thank you all right and along the way you had a neat couple. This is very cool. Well done. Thank you. All right. And along the way, you had a baby. Yes, we did. And the baby's name is? Her name is Kamiya. Kamiya. How old is Kamiya?

She is 14 months. All right. And she's here for the debt-free scream. Mom and dad have changed her family tree. Well done. Daniel and Rosalie Kamiya from New York City, $384,000 paid off in 30 months, making $220,000 to $360,000, though. Man, their future's bright. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! We're debt-free! Wow. How fun is that? Man, those numbers. Wow. You know, most of you listening, you're going, man, I don't know, I don't make $360,000.

Well, I'll just tell you, you don't have $384,000 in debt either. So it's all about ratios, isn't it? The ratio of your income to the ratio of the hole that you're in, your debt. You know, if you make $100,000 a year and you have $100,000 in debt, it's about the same numbers that they just gave us right here, right? This is doable. When are you going to start? Talking to you.

When are you going to start? This is the Dave Ramsey Show. The last thing I want you to feel is buyer's remorse, especially when you offered thousands more on a new home to win a bidding war. If I've taught you anything, it's that blindly throwing money at a problem is a stupid plan and something you'll regret for years. The key to avoiding this rookie mistake is to call Churchill Mortgage and get certified. This easy program puts you miles ahead of your competition because you are pre-underwritten.

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761 Old Hickory Boulevard, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027 Canada is calling Rebecca. Hi Rebecca, how are you? I have a piece that passes understanding. How are you, Dave? Just the same. How can I help? Excellent. I have a 25% sharehold in my ex-husband's business. We tried going for mediation to divide all of our assets for the divorce, but my ex was eventually not willing to negotiate through mediation. So I'm going to need a lawyer, but I refuse to go into debt to pay for the lawyer. My idea is to find a lawyer who is willing to accept being paid a percentage of the winnings

instead of me paying them up front because the lawyer bills could rack up a lot faster than I can earn money. So I did some shopping around, and I found a high-protein, high-octane lawyer who has a great reputation for not letting her clients get fleeced and protecting her clients. And this is the only lawyer who I found that said that she would consider being paid from the winnings instead of being paid up front. And I have an appointment with her on Tuesday. So my question is, how would you negotiate a percentage of winnings to be paid to the lawyer if she is still willing to accept that form of payment?

I think she probably has a percentage in mind. Okay. It's usually not a big negotiation. She's going to be at 30% something, probably somewhere in there, and probably a third, and that's a fairly normal figure. Sometimes I've seen more, sometimes I've seen less, but, you know, and, you know, what it amounts to is they're going to look at it. If you look at it through their eyes for a second, you can pretty quickly figure out their analysis.

Number one, what is this deal worth? And then my percentage multiplied by that means I'm going to get X, right? Right. and then my percentage multiplied by that means I'm going to get X, right? And then if I divide my normal hourly rate into X, can I get this job done within that number of hours so that I don't end up making a buck an hour if I'm the lawyer? This isn't me talking to myself, right? Right. Does it change based on how many hours she would put in because it's hard to estimate how

many hours it would take no it doesn't change but that's the way she's estimating it so in other words let's say that she was going to get a third of three thousand dollars you're not going to get much for a thousand bucks okay i'll take it on i'll take it on contingency i'll take it i'll take a third and I get a third. And she looks at it and goes, there's going to be $3,000? And so she's got to settle this in three hours. Right. Or she's not going to make any money, right?

That's the way she's looking at it. And then you just do multiples of something like that. And so if she thinks she's going to have so many hours in the deal that after she multiplies her percentage by what the deal is worth, then she's making a dollar an hour. She's not going to take the gig. She shouldn't. Right. She shouldn't take the gig. What's it worth? Potentially a quarter million.

Your part? Yes. So about a million dollars and you think you got a quarter million. Your part? Yes. So about a million dollars, and you think you've got a quarter of it? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Well, I mean, if she makes 50, 60 grand on it, her part, yeah, I would do that deal. And can she untangle this barrel of legal fishhooks and force your ex-husband, who's not behaving, to behave during that period of time with negotiation and or using a judge to beat the snot out of him?

Probably. There's probably enough money there to make this work. Okay. Excellent. But would I give her 50% of that to do this deal? No. No. You need to keep shopping.

You haven't found your lady, if that's the case. If it takes $125,000 in legal fees to collect a $250,000 deal, there's something wrong. So if she wants 50%, then I have to work at the speed of cash, so as fast as I can earn money, that's as fast as she can do her job as I pay her? No, if she wants 50% of the winnings, you don't pay her, but you can't hire her because it wouldn't be reasonable to pay her 125 000 to do this deal okay that's an unreasonable fee for this deal in my mind i wouldn't want to give somebody that much i think i'm gonna keep looking trying to figure out another way to do it keep keep fighting and so forth and so um so he thinks he can just stonewall you because he thinks you don't have the cash to fight him uh yeah he offered me sixty thousand dollars

um and he yeah he thought he was being really nice um and no he didn't he didn't think he was being nice he knew what he was doing. Okay. I mean, he's not that dumb. You don't build a business worth a million bucks if you're that dumb. He says all his money is tied up in building the hangar and building this and that and the airplanes that they own and everything else. Yeah, I understand that. But it's, you know, if you want to buy me out, this is what it's going to take.

And, oh, by the way, there was a divorce involved in case you didn't notice. So you don't have a choice. You're going to have to figure this out. That means you've got to sell off an airplane or not build a hangar right now because he's got to buy out the X. Oh, darn. That's how this works. And just keep pushing on it. That's how I do it.

So, hey, interesting situation you're in. Yeah, I think if the lady is high octane, high protein and chomping at the bit to get after him and, you know, she'll take a third, I would do it. At 50%, I wouldn't do it. That's a lot of money. And a third's a lot of money. A third's $60,000 to her. So the other thing she's got to ascertain, really, when she's looking at this is does your husband have the assets to get? And it sounds like he does. Ex-hus cindy is with us in columbus ohio hi cindy how are you

hi dave thank you for taking my call sure what's up um i'm calling from a hospital room and if they bring my husband back in from surgery and the neurosurgeon is there i'm gonna have to hang up but i'll come back and listen later to hear your answer. We have started the baby step thing, and we're on number two, just started. We bought a big, beautiful house with a big, ugly mortgage, and we wanted to pay it all off and our debt in seven years or less. And now my husband's health is failing. He's got vasculitis of the brain and he's on

stroke number four now and he just turned 40 last week so my question is he wants to continue doing the baby step thing and i feel like we should pause you should pause until they can get vasculitis controlled because it's not yet and they're on they're about to maybe start chemo drugs because the steroid treatment didn't work yeah no you you're in the middle of a thunderstorm you need to you need to stop everything and pile up cash pay minimum payments on everything you would say yeah pay minimum payments on everything watch your budget stay in control don't let all of the um the emotion and the uh spiritual drain of fighting a health situation get you into the ditch stay stay on stay up on the road but don't pay any extra on

that pile up cash and really what you just told me and you knew this when you told me this was that if this doesn't turn around fairly quickly you're probably selling this house i want to already but we just bought it and so the real estate person says it will take twenty five thousand dollars of of um closing costs to sell it and we don't have that yeah not even close yeah talk talk to a real estate elp at davamsey.com if you have to do this. You may not have to, but I'm not saying that's where you are today, but you're telling me that that is a big stress point, and now you told me again it's such a big stress point that you've already considered selling it,

and you may be forced to do something to get rid of that. Just to get back to solid ground because it's more important to help to be alongside him and fight this health health issue than it is to keep a house or than it is to reduce debt on the short term long term we'll do we'll get stabilized and you'll figure out where you're going but short term you don't have a lot of choices right now you need the cash pile it up as high as you can pile it and hopefully you can turn the corner his health will turn the corner before you're forced into selling this house um but it you know at some point there's going to be

a financial and an emotional relief to get rid of it if it's the big ugly mortgage on the dream house turning into a nightmare because of the situation i'm so sorry you're facing this honey good luck with it and we'll we'll keep you in our prayers wow tough stuff at 40 years old open phones at 888-825-5225 mike's on twitter dave do you recommend a student loan debt consolidation company? Nope. Don't have one to recommend. You only get to do student loan debt consolidation one time, so make sure that you're doing it on a fixed rate if you do it, not variable rate.

And make sure that the net result is a lower interest rate. A lot of people move them in and they don't even get a lower interest rate. Don't do that. You're better off to have five different ones than to have one at a higher rate or a higher variable rate. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey guys, it's Blake Thompson, Senior Executive Producer for The Dave Ramsey Show. This hour's over, but you can find more great content on our YouTube channel. Catch the most watched Dave Rants, debt-free streams, and the very popular Everyday Millionaire segment. Go to The Dave Ramsey Show YouTube channel and click subscribe.